Sam Pink's Blog, page 73

2 good reasons not to kill yourself

1. to keep punishing yourself
2. to keep punishing others

get it

get it

realized i currently view my mental health/thoughts as wo...

realized i currently view my mental health/thoughts as working towards being 'free' where being 'free' means ultimately not really participating in thigns with most other people and feelign good about it and not needing things from other people at all.  like an umbro-wearing tree. 

the collected works hardcover book is only 20 dollars now...

the collected works hardcover book is only 20 dollars now.  four books for 20 dollars.  hardcover.  succulently exquisite dustjacket.  you'd be a dundering chowderhead not to. 

the sound of umbros peeling off a wooden chair after sitt...

the sound of umbros peeling off a wooden chair after sitting down for a long time in hot weather then getting up

a sports moment i identify with psychologically is in the...

a sports moment i identify with psychologically is in the second duran/leonard fight (the 'no mas' fight) where ray charles is singing 'america' in the ring before the fight and roberto duran is just smiling, staring across the ring at leonard. 

THE COLLECTED SUICIDE NOTES

THE COLLECTED SUICIDE NOTES  is now out. 

it's 464 pages, hardcover with a dustjacket. 

it's almost 30 dollars but that includes selections from 'i am going to clone myself then kill the clone and eat it',  the entire text of 'frowns need friends too', the entire text of 'no one can do anything worse to you than you can' and the entire text of 'gerald mcclellan vs nigel benn' (which isn't in print anywhere else). 

so that's four books for 30 dollars!?  whoa, fuck!

MALORT

i hung out with paula bomer and her son the other night. i met them at the 'W' hotel downtown by the lake. neither of the bars at the hotel had 'malort.'  the lobby bar had never heard of it and the upstairs bar didn't have it.  if you're a bar in chicago and you dont carry malort, you're bullshit. after the hotel bar, paula and i went looking for a smaller type bar.  we found one called 'second story.' out front of the bar, this guy comes out with a girl and as he passes he looked at me and said, 'oh he's cute.'  it was a gay bar.  paula was the only female there.  the bar was awesome. when the bartender foudn out paula was from new york, he gave us all our drinks for free. actually when he found out paula was from new york, he screamed 'newwwwww yorrrrrrrrk' for almost an entire minute sustaining it. then later on he let paula go behind the bar to pour drinks for people. the bartender hung out with us and asked me if i was straight and if i knew i was hot.  he asked me like he was asking if i knew my clothing was on fire. when paula and i left, we each hugged the bartender and he snuck a kiss on my neck.  then paula and i went back to the hotel and sat out front and her son came back out and these two kids rode up on bikes and asked paula for a cigarette.  they told us about being 'neutrons' which is gang-neutral. i yelled 'everybody killa.'  then one of them laughed and said, "EBK motherfucker."  then i threw up a bunch of gangsigns and we talked about gangs in the neighborhoos we live in.  then when they saw how tall paula's son is (6'4") they wanted to take a picture with him. they were all the same age. they kept saying, 'damn nigga, you a tall-ass nigga.'  then i fake boxed against paula and one of the kids. he had his hat to the left a little and i told him to straighten it. he laughed and said, "this nigga knows whats up." he asked me if paula was my wife and when i said no, he held out his hand and we clapped hands and he pulled me in a little and said, 'hey, keep her gorgeous man, really.'  it was funny. after they left i went home.  i walked five miles out of downtown and the sun started to come out an i could see the skyline when i turned and looked over my shoulder. a guy came up to me and said he was stuck in the city and his mom was waiting for him in rockford. i didn't have money but i gave him a train card and he thanked me.

  

next person who breaks into my apartment will be shot in ...

next person who breaks into my apartment will be shot in the face and fed to the rats in the alley. 

music video idea where the band is playing on someone's f...

music video idea where the band is playing on someone's front lawn and a nextdoor neighbor sticks his/her head out the upstairs window and yells, "Hey what's going on here!" and then someone in the band says, "we're playing some fucking tunes you gotta problem with that?"  and then the neighbor says, "Yeah, it ain't loud enough!!" and then starts laughign and his/her head just falls off and when it hits the ground outside, the music starts back up simultaneously