Andrew Moore's Blog, page 35
October 27, 2024
The More Modern Prometheus
"I have created life!" the scientist proclaimed.
"That's great, though that sounds more like an engineering problem!" the crowd cheered.
"I have decided not to be evil," the scientist's creation announced.
"I really don't see why that was in question!" the crowd cheered.
The End
"That was an awfully short story."
"That's right. You're now trapped in a world where stories lack conflict . . . Forever! Muhahaha!"
"Nooooooo!"
Finis
"That's great, though that sounds more like an engineering problem!" the crowd cheered.
"I have decided not to be evil," the scientist's creation announced.
"I really don't see why that was in question!" the crowd cheered.
The End
"That was an awfully short story."
"That's right. You're now trapped in a world where stories lack conflict . . . Forever! Muhahaha!"
"Nooooooo!"
Finis
October 26, 2024
The Principles of Horror
"Any sufficiently scary moment is indistinguishable from a jump scare." - Artur E. Parte
"A fright is a jump scare with a legion of defenders." - Max Spinestrike
"I scare, you spook, he indulges in jump scares." - Bootrand Rustling
"A fright is a jump scare with a legion of defenders." - Max Spinestrike
"I scare, you spook, he indulges in jump scares." - Bootrand Rustling
October 25, 2024
How to incorporate a Maze Into Your Story
Just draw one. People like those placemats, right? Draw a little maze your readers can try to win by tracing a path with their fingers. They'll start from the end of course, but they'll still feel closer to the character who has to navigate it.
October 24, 2024
Illustrating the Different Branches of Speculative Fiction
In science fiction, the AI supercar is smarter than its driver.
In fantasy, the intelligent demon sword is more powerful than its wielder.
In alt history, the Nazis won World War 2.
In fantasy, the intelligent demon sword is more powerful than its wielder.
In alt history, the Nazis won World War 2.
October 23, 2024
Addendum
The answer is a tank with pulsating Knight Rider lights.
October 22, 2024
Science Fiction Troubles
It's easy to imagine a better skyscraper or spaceship, but what's a better tank? They're already perfect.
An Explanation of the Selection of Monster for the Previous Story
You know, not a lot of monsters have meaningful weakness. Werewolves have silver, which is pretty impractical, and the main problem faced by mummies is that they're boring. No wonder vampires are so popular.
October 20, 2024
Challenge of the Flavorful Dish
"No, inspector. There are no signs of violence and no indication of poisoning. The cause of death is natural."
"I have reason to doubt that," Inspector Iagius said. What reason need there be aside from the intuition of that veteran avenger of crime? Nevertheless, grounds existed! The dead man had not gone through life without enemies or without making a will. That will . . . was missing!
The doctor cared about physiological signs and not motive. And rightly so. He shook his learned head. "The sole unusual fact about this corpse is how much garlic he must have eaten!"
"Garlic, you say?"
"Crates of it!"
*****
"Well, Mr. Modusta, I only have one question for you before I stop wasting your time."
"Not at all, Inspector. Happy to help."
"Is it true that the victim dined here the night of the murder?"
"It is."
"Falgunus! Arrest this man!"
"What?"
An escape attempt! Mr. Modusta made his try, but Custos Falgunus was too fast for him in body just as Inspector Iagius was in mind. He struggled, but he might as well have wrestled against a mountain!
"He's full of energy, sir!"
"I am! Because this is outrageous!"
"And deviltry. Mr. Modusta, I talked to your other guests. They reported tasting no garlic at all. You knew the victim had worn a vampire costume for a party once! That made him vulnerable to garlic in sufficient amounts, larger of course than what the true vampire requires, and that's why you had your chief load his dish alone with all the garlic in the house! Take him away, Falgunus."
Another triumph for Inspector Iagius!
Finis
"I have reason to doubt that," Inspector Iagius said. What reason need there be aside from the intuition of that veteran avenger of crime? Nevertheless, grounds existed! The dead man had not gone through life without enemies or without making a will. That will . . . was missing!
The doctor cared about physiological signs and not motive. And rightly so. He shook his learned head. "The sole unusual fact about this corpse is how much garlic he must have eaten!"
"Garlic, you say?"
"Crates of it!"
*****
"Well, Mr. Modusta, I only have one question for you before I stop wasting your time."
"Not at all, Inspector. Happy to help."
"Is it true that the victim dined here the night of the murder?"
"It is."
"Falgunus! Arrest this man!"
"What?"
An escape attempt! Mr. Modusta made his try, but Custos Falgunus was too fast for him in body just as Inspector Iagius was in mind. He struggled, but he might as well have wrestled against a mountain!
"He's full of energy, sir!"
"I am! Because this is outrageous!"
"And deviltry. Mr. Modusta, I talked to your other guests. They reported tasting no garlic at all. You knew the victim had worn a vampire costume for a party once! That made him vulnerable to garlic in sufficient amounts, larger of course than what the true vampire requires, and that's why you had your chief load his dish alone with all the garlic in the house! Take him away, Falgunus."
Another triumph for Inspector Iagius!
Finis
October 19, 2024
Addendum
"Golds," however, is self-explanatory.
A Frightening Friday Realization
Wait a minute. "Experience" doesn't start with an "X," so "XP" makes no sense at all! I haven't felt so hornswoggled since I found out about reading, writing, and arithmetic. About their spellings, I mean. I still don't get the subjects so good.
