Andrew Moore's Blog, page 158
May 23, 2021
Take Back Your Posture
In the shattered ruins of a city of the Pacific Northwest, the hard but peaceful lives of the industrious survivors ended when Big Bunker's thugs strolled into town from the east, laughing and flexing their huge muscles. Even worse, a band of Harbor Rose's goons walked in at the same time. The survivors abandoned the square and peeked out of their cracked wooden doors. They knew their future was about to be determined, and they had no say.
"What do you thugs think you're doing here? Huh?" One of the goons made the first challenge.
"This is Big Bunker's turf. Didn't you know? I guess you don't know much!" The head thug laughed and elbowed his crew.
Just then, from the south, a lone figure appeared, tall and broad, covered in a cloak which he threw off to reveal his bull-like arms. The goons and thugs shouted and threatened, but the survivors were too shocked to speak. They recognized who the man was.
Before the cloak hit the ground, he thrashed every one of the thugs and goons, then began to speak. "How do you think the apocalypse happened in the first place? Carelessness. That's right, carelessness. Now look at you, with your torn shirts and mohawks. Were you manning the missiles? I wouldn't doubt it. Either you or somebody as careless as you. Sit up straight and look at me when I talk to you. You think paying attention isn't important? People like you thought that in the old days too, and then boom, apocalypse. Do you think that's fun? That it's the right way to do things?"
As the speech continued, the villagers finally found their voices and muttered to one another, "It's him! The one who wanders the wastes and tells us why we deserved it! The Nagger of the New Century!"
Finis
"What do you thugs think you're doing here? Huh?" One of the goons made the first challenge.
"This is Big Bunker's turf. Didn't you know? I guess you don't know much!" The head thug laughed and elbowed his crew.
Just then, from the south, a lone figure appeared, tall and broad, covered in a cloak which he threw off to reveal his bull-like arms. The goons and thugs shouted and threatened, but the survivors were too shocked to speak. They recognized who the man was.
Before the cloak hit the ground, he thrashed every one of the thugs and goons, then began to speak. "How do you think the apocalypse happened in the first place? Carelessness. That's right, carelessness. Now look at you, with your torn shirts and mohawks. Were you manning the missiles? I wouldn't doubt it. Either you or somebody as careless as you. Sit up straight and look at me when I talk to you. You think paying attention isn't important? People like you thought that in the old days too, and then boom, apocalypse. Do you think that's fun? That it's the right way to do things?"
As the speech continued, the villagers finally found their voices and muttered to one another, "It's him! The one who wanders the wastes and tells us why we deserved it! The Nagger of the New Century!"
Finis
What Should The Prize Be?
The best weapon that you can't use because you already beat the hardest boss, of course.
May 21, 2021
Reboot Opportunities
What kinds of changes should a Highlander remake include? Here are some ideas.
1. Chainsword
2. Lengthy jetski sequence
3. Every angle should be Dutch
4. Entire movie takes place in a forest around a lake except for the finale at the Grand Canyon
5. Cameo by DJ Khaled
6. Last line: "The Prize? Guess we'll find out next time." The main character winks at the camera while delivering the final line.
1. Chainsword
2. Lengthy jetski sequence
3. Every angle should be Dutch
4. Entire movie takes place in a forest around a lake except for the finale at the Grand Canyon
5. Cameo by DJ Khaled
6. Last line: "The Prize? Guess we'll find out next time." The main character winks at the camera while delivering the final line.
May 20, 2021
Some Notes on the Kurtis Event
Meanwhile, Disgaea RPG's storytelling is immaculate.
Some Notes on the Meihousou Event
Why did they have footage of Moriarity's conversation with Nursery Rhyme? Who recorded that? Was it Fou?
Servants are spiritual phenomena contained in a mystical human-like vessel. They do not get tuckered out from thinking about a movie too hard. Or painting too hard.
Is the intended message that Murasaki Shikibu is a complete hack? Her idea was to redo The Tale of Genji except focusing on the groomed girl and everybody loves her, with Murasaki as the lead actress? Maybe since the rubes already summoned for her, it's time to get everyone on the Sei train.
What was a Welsh pirate doing there? No, really, why was he there? And why did he disappear? "Something something fragile spirit origin" is all well and good for contrived servants like Jeanne Santalancerdancer or Okita Alter, but Black Bart is a perfectly normal dead famous person.
"If only there were some way to have more than one cut of a movie," said Mash "The Dumbest Woman in the World" Kyrielight.
I like the idea of mini-stories, but they all end up being so shoddy.
Servants are spiritual phenomena contained in a mystical human-like vessel. They do not get tuckered out from thinking about a movie too hard. Or painting too hard.
Is the intended message that Murasaki Shikibu is a complete hack? Her idea was to redo The Tale of Genji except focusing on the groomed girl and everybody loves her, with Murasaki as the lead actress? Maybe since the rubes already summoned for her, it's time to get everyone on the Sei train.
What was a Welsh pirate doing there? No, really, why was he there? And why did he disappear? "Something something fragile spirit origin" is all well and good for contrived servants like Jeanne Santalancerdancer or Okita Alter, but Black Bart is a perfectly normal dead famous person.
"If only there were some way to have more than one cut of a movie," said Mash "The Dumbest Woman in the World" Kyrielight.
I like the idea of mini-stories, but they all end up being so shoddy.
May 18, 2021
Worldbuilding Thoughts
Remember to consider what kind of music people will enjoy in your scifi setting, because how can you play a piano when you're floating around and junk?
May 17, 2021
Financial Emergency
Oh no! My Snoot Coins have lost all their value!
May 16, 2021
I Was Struck by Lightning and Now I'm an Animal Mascot in Another World?!?!
If you've never taken orders from a floating beard guy wearing a pointy blue wizard hat, I can't recommend the experience enough. That's what people mean when they talk about being high on life.
"Here we are in the Half-Baked Honey Hills, Julian. You need to collect 3 Golden Zaboodles, 12 Silver Snoot Coins, and 50 Bronze Snappems to reach the next area. This would be a good time to practice your Scrabble Kick, Badger Step Kick, and the old Croucheroo. Take it from me, the Upper-Middle Supermagetendant!"
"Why not a High Supermagetendant? That sounds better."
His voice flattened. "Office politics."
"Oh. Sorry for asking." I shook my legs to limber up for the Badger Step Kick, which was a double jump you kick during for more distance, and wondered if I would ever get used to my new badger body. Not even a regular badger; a cuted-up mascot badger. I hoped I wouldn't stay in it long enough.
I looked over the green hills, the bees flying back and forth on regular schedules, and the cylindrical hive platforms and rolled my furred shoulders. Those giggly whatchemahoos weren't going to collect themselves.
Finis
"Here we are in the Half-Baked Honey Hills, Julian. You need to collect 3 Golden Zaboodles, 12 Silver Snoot Coins, and 50 Bronze Snappems to reach the next area. This would be a good time to practice your Scrabble Kick, Badger Step Kick, and the old Croucheroo. Take it from me, the Upper-Middle Supermagetendant!"
"Why not a High Supermagetendant? That sounds better."
His voice flattened. "Office politics."
"Oh. Sorry for asking." I shook my legs to limber up for the Badger Step Kick, which was a double jump you kick during for more distance, and wondered if I would ever get used to my new badger body. Not even a regular badger; a cuted-up mascot badger. I hoped I wouldn't stay in it long enough.
I looked over the green hills, the bees flying back and forth on regular schedules, and the cylindrical hive platforms and rolled my furred shoulders. Those giggly whatchemahoos weren't going to collect themselves.
Finis
May 15, 2021
Game Review: Glover
I never played it, which makes me the perfect author to write the novelization. I'll come at it without preconceptions and bring out a fresh, new Glover the fans never imagined.
Score: 5/5 fingers
Score: 5/5 fingers
