Ronit Plank's Blog, page 29

The Post I Can’t Believe I’m Writing

You know how you wait and wait and wait for something and it’s really far away and then you make it to the date and you can’t believe it went so fast? That’s how I’ve been feeling for about a month now. How did it come to pass that next week, on Tuesday May 11th my very first book, When She Comes Back will be in the world? It’s really happening!

Early readers have it and there’s a small pool of bloggers and writing friends who have read it but that my memoir will be launched into the wild is still hard for me to wrap my head around. I am so excited and want to share some dates with you.

Tuesday May 11th When She Comes Back is released.

I’ll be at Town Hall Seattle (livestream) that night at 7:30 pm PST with Alice Ikeda. We’ll be talking about parents who leave for gurus, the effect the media has on the public perception of gurus, and how these depictions often skip over the family-loss connected to cults and cultic activity. You can get tickets here.

–Next week will be an And Then Everything Changed mini-cult week!

1. Tuesday 5/11 my guest will be feature another writer whose parent left her family to follow Bhagwan Shree Rajneeesh, the same guru my mother followed. This will be a far-ranging conversation about Bhagwan’s ashrams and beliefs, what it’s like to lose a parent to a coercive leader, and the damage that does to a developing child.

2. Friday 5/14 my guest is a journalist who grew up on a commune that she didn’t realize was a cult until adulthood. Now studies cults and interviews survivors and created the podcast Generation Cult.

3. Saturday 5/15 will be a replay of my episode with guest Benjamin Risha who escaped life on a Midwest cult when he was 17.

In the next week I’ll have book reviews, interviews, and op-eds in some of the following publications: The Times of Israel, Psychology Today, The Rumpus, JTA, Litro, The Forward, Hypertext, and Writer’s Digest. I’ll post those links on my social media and also my Published works page, link here.

Lastly, if you’d like to pre-order my book there’s still time. It’s available at all independent and big bookstores and I’d love your support. Did you know that all pre-orders go into the first week’s sales for a book? Authors ADORE when you pre-order, I ADORE it when you pre-ordered! When She Comes Back is available in paperback, hardcover (which is so pretty), Kindle and audiobook (which I narrated). If you’d like to here’s the link.

I’m so happy to know you took the time to read the latest about my podcast and my work. And remember—if you like my podcast or my book, please tell your friends!

Thank you for your support and thank you for being here!

Love,

Ronit

Just When I Thought It Was Safe

Book Stuff

Just when I thought Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and Ma Anand Sheela had faded from media attention, Searching for Sheela the Netflix sequel to Wild Wild Country debuts Thursday, April 22nd. 

I understand why charismatic leaders are able to grab hold of people, how their dogma spreads. Most people want to believe someone else has the answers because it’s a lot less work and so much more comforting. Gurus also make dynamic subjects which is why viewers find them fascinating. I would love to see more production time spent on the ways in which these movements grow and spread, the toll they take on the vulnerable, and how fine the line is between mentor and guru.

I’m happy my book When She Comes Back about the loss of my mother to Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh will be out just a few weeks after Searching for Sheela airs. I hope it will be a good counterbalance to the sensationalism, a deeper dive into the effect coercive leaders actually have on people’s lives.

My book is in pre-order now and if you send a copy of your paperback purchase receipt, I can send you the audiobook which I narrated as a gift. Reach me at ronit@ronitplank.com and I will email you the audiobook right away.

You can preorder my book here.

Other Stuff

I was a guest on the Storyworthy podcast this week and had so much fun talking with Christine Blackburn about covens, cults, kibbutzim, and Texas. She’s so funny and made me feel totally at ease. You can listen to our lively conversation here.

Next week I’ll be co-hosting an Eating and Body Image chat with three talented writers who are experts in the field. You can find us on Instagram Live next Friday 4/20 at 10:30 AM PT/1:30 PM ET.

Podcast Stuff

This week on the podcast my guest is Andrea Wilson Woods who stepped in to raise her sister Adrian when their mother decided she no longer wanted to. Andrea later had to fight her mother in court and when Adrian was only 15 she was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer. I hope you tune in to this episode. I am grateful for the conversation I got to have with Andrea and that she is doing such important work to fight cancer. You can listen to episode 74, A Life in 147 days, here.

Next week on the podcast Sabrina Osso is my guest. Growing up the violence she witnessed in her home left her quiet, shy, and often ill. By the time she was in high school the toll of that trauma left her suicidal. Fortunately, she was able to seek treatment in her early twenties and soon began to heal. Now she is the founder of a company dedicated to keeping homes violence free and works to keep families safe.

I have lots of articles and appearances in the works and I will keep you posted. Thank you for reading this far, I so appreciate it!

Please take good care of yourself.

XO, Ronit

This is Actually Happening

This week I held—for the first time—a physical copy of my memoir When She Comes Back. I have been working with the manuscript for years, with the story itself even longer than that, but the sensation of having the book in my hands was everything that so many writers before me have expressed. It’s kind of like looking down at your newborn baby and realizing: Oh my gosh I made this!

The publishing process kicked off almost a year ago but even though I have been thinking of and dreaming of the May 11th release date for my book for a while, I don’t think I knew what it was like to hold it and flip through the pages. I think it is one of the most exciting things that I’ve experienced in my writing life and I am so happy and grateful for the experience. More info here.

Here are some book updates:

-The paperback and Kindle versions are currently in pre-order with all booksellers big and small. You can ask your local bookshop to pre-order it for you, too. When you pre-order the paperback you can have the audiobook which I narrated and recorded at Cedar House Audio as a gift. All you need to do is send me a message on social media: @ronitplank or send me an email: ronit@ronitplank.com with a copy of your purchase and your email address, and I will send the audiobook to your inbox. I’d love to send this to you, thank you so much for your support!

-May 11th at 7:30 I will be appearing at Town Hall Seattle Livestream with Debra Gwartney! The title of our event is Family Members Who Leave and Why Personal Stories Matter.

Links for information and tickets are here.

Podcast:

This week on the podcast former football player Kenneth Scott who overcame a complicated and painful childhood. He graduated from the University of Utah, where he earned two degrees while being a student-athlete. Through his exemplary ethic of leadership – he received many awards for his combination of community service, athletic, and academic performance, which resulted in him receiving the most Inspirational Male Student- Inspirational Male Student-Athlete and opportunities to play professionally in the NFL and CFL. But after suffering two serious injuries he realized he would need to make a tough decision; he would need to set a new course for his life.

You can listen here.

Next week on the podcast Laila Tarraf who lost her husband to a drug overdose when her daughter was very young. It wasn’t until her mother was dying that Laila was able to better understand her history with co-dependent relationships, deal with death of her husband, and be at her mom’s bedside as her life ended. Her experience informed her leadership, her mothering, and her approach to the unexpected. Her new book Strong Like Water is out now.

Thank you for subscribing to this newsletter—I love sharing news with you. Please reach out to me with any questions or feedback.

Until next time,
Ronit
xo

Every Last Drop

Hello and I hope you are enjoying the longer days and hopefully warmer temperatures. I’m so happy to announce that:
1. the brand new book cover for my memoir When She Comes Back is here and 
2. pre-orders are now open! Click here to pre-order.

When She Comes Back will be available in paperback, hardcover, Kindle, and in audiobook on May 11!  This is the story of how each of my parents left in search of themselves–one followed a guru and then one stepped up, what happens when the person your life revolves around can’t stay and how we ultimately reconciled. The guru at the center of my story is Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, the subject of Netflix’s docuseries Wild Wild Country.

I narrated and recorded the audiobook at Cedar House Audio in West Seattle and am emailing copies as a gift for any pre-order of When She Comes Back from an independent bookseller. 

If you’d like a copy of the audiobook please pre-order When She Comes Back from your independent bookseller of choice and send me a copy or photo of your transaction. You can direct-message it to me on Instagram @ronitplank or email me at ronit@ronitplank.com and my publisher and I will get you that audiobook lickety split! All pre-orders for my book will be counted as first week’s sales and will help spread the word about this book. Thank you so much for your support!

This week on the podcast author Kim Hooper joins me for episode 70, Life After Pregnancy Losses. Kim is a novelist, mother, and wife who endured many losses prior to having her family. She teamed up with Meredith Resnick LCSW to write the new book All The Love which offers support and guidance for anyone going through this kind of grief and uncertainty. You can listen to our episode here.

Next week on the podcast my guest is Dr. Lynette Louise who helps retrain the brain in the neuro-atypical and autistic. She is a foster mother and survivor of domestic abuse and it’s my privilege to mark Autism Awareness Week with her episode on 3/30. Lynette offers insight, honesty, ingenuity and tough love and I’m thrilled to be able to share our conversation with you.

In “Autobiographical Notes” from the 1984 edition of Notes of a Native Son James Baldwin turns his attention to how “one writes out of one thing only—one’s own experience. “Everything,” he explains, “depends on how relentlessly one forces from this experience the last drop, sweet or bitter, it can possibly give. This is the only real concern of the artist, to recreate out of the disorder of life that order which is art.” And this is why I love creative nonfiction: the invitation to show who we are and what we care about; what addles us and what we don’t understand; what we hope for and what we are determined to change. I have recently become along with Charlotte Hamrick the Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review and have had the opportunity to read so much good work. The variety of submissions–the point of view, the forms, the approach–reminds me how each of our voices is a key to understanding our experience. If you’d like to read the spring issue including flash fiction and poetry you can here.

If you have any comments, questions, or feedback you’d like to share with me about the podcast, the book, or writing, please reach out to me!

Until next time.
xo,
Ronit

Book cover reveal for my memoir When She Comes Back!

I’m thrilled to announce my new book cover! Thank you to Jon Gray for his beautiful work and for capturing my story and understanding what this memoir means to me.

Book launch news! You can sign up for book news and giveaways here. 🧡

A lot of fun things are in the works to celebrate the upcoming release of my book WHEN SHE COMES BACK.

Pre-orders are now open for Kindle and Motina Books Publishing and I will soon be announcing pre-orders for the hardcover, paperback, and audiobook which I was so happy to narrate and record with Cedar House Audio.

Most importantly, if you’d like to learn more about me, my work, or this memoir please sign up for my blog/newsletter which I send out twice monthly. In it I’ll have links and updates on the launch. Sign up here

Blog

Beginning to Thaw

I hope March finds you well. Are any flowers beginning to bud by you? I always wonder why so many poke their little heads out into the world when it’s still very chilly in the mornings. Here in Seattle I see flowers blooming in February and early March and I want to tell them, “It’s too soon! Go back and be safe!” But every year they do it again. A reminder that spring in fact is on the way. It reminds me to take stock and see how I fared through the winter.

I noticed just today that despite feeling like I have no extra time I keep the same amount of work on my plate AND, mea culpa, I seem to be adding more.

It was making my list for the today before bed last night (it calms me) and revising it again this morning (once again, it calms me) when realized that I must like things this way. REALLY like them. Otherwise, why would I keep up the pace?

And, I further realized that instead of thinking it’s temporary or telling myself things have gotten out of hand, I must admit it I LIKE IT.

There I admitted it—I LIKE BEING REALLY BUSY.

It’s not that I don’t wind down. I was thrilled to plop down on the couch with my family last night, play Bananagrams, Emoji Uno, and watch reality TV together. I love baths and zoning out. But, having projects fuels me, getting things done makes me happy. I don’t want to delude myself into thinking I’m not at least partly responsible for the way my days unfold. I bet you might be able to identify a behavior pattern or habit of yours that might not be going anywhere that will feel good to accept too.

The new cover for my memoir When She Comes Back is almost finished and I am so excited! I’ll be sharing that and all the pre-order book links in my next post.

This week on the podcast Judith Fein joins me for episode 67, Emotional Genealogy: Tracing the Past to Live an Authentic Life. Click here to listen.

Award-winning international travel and culture journalist, author, speaker, playwright, screenwriter, movie and theatre critic, opera librettist, and theatre director Judie Fein believes everyone has a mission in life even if they don’t know what it is and part of that mission is to become whole, as whole as they were at birth. Her own experience overcoming a trauma in childhood and her interest in story has moved her to dig into her family history, visit her ancestral homeland, and create a life rooted in expression, accountability, and curiosity. 

In this episode she shares what she’s learned about the nature of family through emotional genealogy and relationship epigenetics, the elements essential to writing memoir, and what her life is like now in a post-family world.

Next week on the podcast is episode 68, Your Body is Not a Problem featuring Katherine Yasi

Katherine was in second grade when her mother called attention to her weight, a moment that impacted the rest of her life. From that day on her insecurities about her size and an endless cycle of shame about her body took over. She learned that a thin body was ideal and began to

believe that the smaller you could get, the more valuable you would become. She chased down diet after diet and felt that she had to apologize for being ‘fat’, doing everything she could to get skinny. But when she did lose the most weight she ever had before she found she was the unhappiest that she had ever been in her life. It was this pivotal moment that she realized that body weight and her happiness did not depend on each other. 

Her journey of self-acceptance began in 2020, after she was laid off and had time to reflect on her deep-rooted beliefs and find clarity on her path. She decided that she did not want to hate herself forever and needed to break away from the behavior that was now second nature. She became active in the Body Positivity movement, launched the podcast “It’s Okay to Love Yourself”, and is now a leadership development coach who encourages women of all sizes to appreciate and care for themselves.

On 3/19 Kacee Hoffer joins me for episode 69, From Athlete to Human Being

For Kacee Hoffer, finding a new identity was not easy. After stepping away from almost 12 years of diving she found it hard to find other passions, fill her time, and treat her body with compassion.

She started diving at nine years old and had been a high performing division 1 athlete at Boise State, and that’s all she knew. Everything she did was connected to diving and her social life outside of the sport was almost non-existent. But during her sophomore year of college she was assigned a new coach who had no compassion for the athletes and pushed them to perform while injured and past what they could take.She began feeling depressed, anxious, and even experiencing black outs. She knew her career as a diver needed to end. 

She now coaches children and encourages their parents to enjoy the sport for what it should be: fun. Her book, “From Athlete to Human Being” tells the story of athletes that transitioned out of sports. She also coaches transitioning athletes on how to close that chapter of their life.

Thank you for subscribing to my newsletter and for subscribing to And Then Everything Changed. I am so happy to be able to connect with you in these ways.

I’ll write again soon!

xo,
Ronit

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

I know I got the expression wrong in my subject line—I usually get expressions wrong but often it’s an accident. I am terrible at idioms. But this time I did it on purpose.

I’ve been thinking about how change is slow sometimes and hard to see but that doesn’t always mean it isn’t happening. Whether it’s vaccine doses finally rolling out but then second doses getting delayed, or friends who have had it up to HERE with jobs they have been dissatisfied with for years just now beginning to send resumes out for new opportunities, or even the weather warming up in Texas, there is progress. It’s not smooth, it’s not predictable but I see it.

On the podcast

Last week Natajia Miller, a diversity and inclusion expert joined me So Much Further To Go: The Consequences of Racial Injustice and True Allyship

The first time Natajia, who grew up in the Bahamas, was stopped by police for Driving While Black she was en route to graduate school in Georgia, her mother in the passenger seat right beside her. After being pulled over, confronted by and racist and threatening language and police dogs, she and her mother were taken to the police station. There she was told that without paying a hefty bail she would not be released. The next time she was pulled over the arresting officer did so for a minor incident the arresting officer brought her into the station, put her in shackles, and she spent a night in jail. 

Not only did she feel ashamed, her life irrevocably changed that day. She knew that she would never be viewed or treated as equal in America because of the color of her skin. In episode 64 Natajia, who is now a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Consultant, shares her story, offers actionable steps on how to be an authentic-ally rather than a performative-ally, and weighs in on how much work there is to do.  You can listen to our conversation here.

To mark National Eating Disorders Awareness Week Alli Spotts-De Lazzerlicensed professional clinical counselor, LMFT, and a certified eating disorder specialist joins me for episode Conquering A 20-Year Eating Disorder.

At a young age, Alli was only 9 years old when she started dieting. For most of her life, she equated weight with purpose and worth and fought to overpower her body’s instinct to get the nutrition it needed to keep her healthy. After battling anorexia nervosa and avoiding treatment for years she finally reached the point where she wanted to be held accountable for her actions. She decided to share her experience with a therapist and begin to heal her relationship with weight and food. And when she did, she was able to see her body and all bodies as a vessel to carry our mind, organs, and everything else that makes people who they are.  Now, Alli helps others overcome their battle around eating disorders and hopes that her new book, MeaningFULL: 23 Life-Changing Stories of Conquering Dieting, Weight, & Body Image Issues which tells not only her own story of recovery, but also the stories of others. It’s Alli’s hope that these accounts will encourage body acceptance and positivity and create a new dialogue about what good health means. You can listen to her episode here.

Next week I speak with Lafiro Gomez III for episode 66: Moved to Create: Life After A Massive Stroke 

After suffering a massive stroke caused by a previously undiagnosed vascular malformation Lafiro A. Gomez III became paralyzed and utterly dependent on his family for care. He entered rehabilitation and worked on recovering some of his strength but was unable to carry out many basic functions on his own. Facing infections, deteriorating kidney function, and amputations he grew weary and depression shaped his days. Until loved ones encouraged him to begin writing again and he did. Using his thumb and an iPhone he created new worlds with characters that came alive and reminded him that nothing is impossible. Now the author of the novels Parachute Island and The Variants he joins And Then Everything Changed to tell his story, share his writing process, and reflect on what he’s learned about himself through the challenges he’s faced.

Look for his episode on 3/1.

Please take care of yourself. And remember sometimes it’s time to push, sometimes it’s time to regroup. But you don’t ever have to stop growing.

XO,
Ronit

Authentic Allyship and Writing a New Story

I hope February is treating you well so far and that 2021 has started to wash away some of the darkness of 2020. 

For your reading, watching, and listening pleasure here’s what’s coming up!

I’m happy to be featured on Thrive Global by Nicole Farkas this month to talk about my memoir When She Comes Back (out in May and in pre-order now), my podcast And Then Everything Changed, and the importance of telling stories. You can read the piece here.

This Monday, 2/8 I’m launching my Writing Vitamins series on Instagram Live at 2 PM PST/5 PM EST with my guest, author Anita Gill. We’ll be talking about the writing process, advice for new writers, and answering any questions you throw our way. Tune in on my Instagram @ronitplank. 

Anita is a writer, editor, and recent Fulbright fellow in Spain. Her essays, memoir, book reviews, and satire have appeared in The Iowa Review, The Rumpus, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Los Angeles Review of Books, Prairie Schooner, The Offing, The Baltimore Sun, and elsewhere. Her writing has been listed as Notable in Best American Essays and has won The Iowa Review Award in Nonfiction. She holds a BA from New York University, an MA in Literature from American University, and an MFA in Writing from Pacific University. She currently serves as the Nonfiction Editor for Hypertext Magazine and teaches creative writing classes through Pioneer Valley Writers’ Workshop and Gotham Writers’ Workshop. Follow her on Twitter at @anitamgill or visit her website at http://www.anitagill.ink. 

In celebration of Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week, Annamarie Saarinen joins me to share the story of how her newborn daughter Eve was almost not diagnosed with a congenital heart defect in time. When Eve was born Annamarie didn’t know that 1 in 100 babies are born with similar conditions and 40% of those are serious and require intervention in early stages of life. Weeks and then months unfolded with Eve in the NICU until she was old enough to have the heart surgery that would save her life.

What’s more Eve, like so many babies, almost missed getting diagnosed in time because there was no regular congenital heart defect screening for newborns on the Recommended Uniform Screening Panel for newborns. Annamarie’s experience set her on a life-changing course to transform the way the medical community approaches heart defects in babies. She co-founded The Newborn Foundation to develop policies, programs and technologies to improve early diagnosis, health outcomes and access to care for mothers and babies and has drafted more than 40 pieces of health legislation, authored more than 200 policy briefings and co-authored numerous published manuscripts on the importance of technology in advancing early detection and treatment of neonatal and pediatric health conditions. In this episode, Annamarie shares Eve’s story, the work she’s doing through the pandemic to help get care to babies in resource-poor settings, and her belief that those of us that have the means and the ability have to do all we can to make sure that the dreams and wishes other families have aren’t out of reach. 

Episode 63 of And Then Everything Changed airs Tuesday, 2/9. 

The first time Natajia Miller, who grew up in the Bahamas, was stopped by police for Driving While Black she was en route to graduate school in Georgia, her mother in the passenger seat right beside her. After being pulled over, confronted by and racist and threatening language and police dogs, she and her mother were taken to the police station. There she was told that without paying a hefty bail she would not be released. The next time she was pulled over the arresting officer did so for a minor incident the arresting officer brought her into the station, put her in shackles, and she spent a night in jail. 

Not only did she feel ashamed, her life irrevocably changed that day. She knew that she would never be viewed or treated as equal in America because of the color of her skin. In this episode Natajia, who is now a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Consultant, shares her story, offers actionable steps on how to be an authentic-ally rather than a performative-ally, and weighs in on how much work there is to do. Episode 64 airs 2/16.

Take good care of yourself and please reach out to me with questions, comments, ideas, or feedback, it’s always great to hear your thoughts. I’ll be back in two weeks with more episodes and book updates. 

XO, 
Ronit

What We’re Willing To Fight For

We made it to the inauguration of the 46th president of the United Stated of America, fittingly enough just after and Martin Luther King Jr day. Just two weeks after the capital insurrection, the winter after a summer of marked violence against people driving, walking, and living while Black. Finally, this week, after weeks of the  racist faction in this country newly emboldened and riled up, some hope.

James Baldwin wrote 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘕𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘚𝘰𝘯 in 1955 and in 1984 he wrote a preface to the new edition from which this quote is excerpted. 

This continent was never white. There is no white land to get back to. And through the vitriol and violence this country has seen there are also those who fought against those forces, who did whatever they could to change the system, who spoke truth to power.

Today I think about those better angels, where we might be without Martin Luther King Jr, and how far it seems we have yet to go. I refuse to cede this country to those that share lies and toxic misinformation and promote divisiveness. 

I recently had the opportunity to be a juror for the Scholastic Writing Awards and review work by 10th and 11th graders in the personal essay and memoir category. They wrote about racism, the pandemic, the forest fires that shrouded their skies last summer, what they want for their lives, and how they see the world. It was a gift to read their words in the midst of upheaval and uncertainty. That they still want to express themselves, to better understand their place in our shared history shows me they are that much closer to learning who they are and what they’re willing to fight for. And that in turn inspires me to do better. You can read my full article in The Seattle Times here.

 

This week on the podcast, founder of Cope Notes, Johnny Crowder joins me to talk about his mental health journey. He didn’t think he would ever reveal the abuse he suffered as a child or the dangerous coping mechanisms he developed to handle that trauma. But then he decided that if he didn’t try to grow and share his experience to help others, the pain he experienced would be in vain and so he set his life on a course of advocacy. You can listen to his episode here.

 

Next week on the podcast Rosalie and Michel Mastaler join me to share their family’s story of caring for their son Hunter after he lost his lower leg to an injury. Shortly after bringing him home from the hospital they realized that the most powerful tool they could offer him was resilience; that to help Hunter avoid feeling sorry for himself they had to avoid feeling sorry for him.  Look for that episode on January 26th.

Wishing you inspiration this week and 2021 energy.

XO,
Ronit