Moe Lane's Blog, page 502

08/30/22 Snippet, TOUR OF DUTY.

Awww…

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March 6 

I’m starting to enjoy more and more Janusz’s guard shifts, because when he’s there, he’s not here and being annoying. It’s not like he even likes Aldini anymore! He keeps talking about how malingering the man is, and how all the guards have to pester him now to help with research that Aldini himself asked to help with. 

I asked Dan about that, and he agreed about the pestering. “Maybe it’s because he’s not working on power sources,” he had said. “Chin instead has him running tests on the tissue sample. Which, sure, he knows almost nothing about, but he can follow a checklist.”

“On the sample? Is that safe?”

“It’s a digital reconstruction of the tissue sample, cariña. I don’t think it’s going to infect anybody in meatspace.”

…Cariña. I like it.

The TOP GUN: MAVERICK Honest Trailer.

Honest Trailers didn’t have much to snark about for TOP GUN: MAVERICK, although they did peg the Star Wars thing more than I had (I had, a little). Which is fine, because it was a fun movie. If you didn’t catch in theaters, I dunno, see if Alamo Drafthouse will be showing it. It’s a big-screen kind of flick.

#commissionearned

The SLUMBERLAND trailer.

Apparently based off of Little Nemo.

Also starring Jason Momoa. The Little Nemo fans are pretty pumped, I think; probably because they weren’t expecting to get a movie that was even only based on the story. Whether or not it’s actually any good is going to be another story. Momoa will probably have a good time playing himself as a hairy, good-natured giant*. Hopefully the script won’t suck.

Moe Lane

*I say that without heat. I’ve known people like Momoa my whole life in the SCA: they’re usually a squire, can drink half a case of beer without visible effect besides the ability to belch on command, and stupidly good with kids. Righteous Dudes, for the most part, and worth their weight in platinum during sudden weather events. I look forward to seeing what he does with this role.

First day of school!

First day both kids have been in-person at school at the same time in two and a half years. And it was so amazingly quiet, afterward. It used to be like this all the time, I dimly remember.

Anyway, I have plans for the extra time, but today was not a day to explore those plans. Today was a day to clean up the living room to the point where I could navigate it. And to eat fried dumplings. But mostly to explore the sounds of silence.

Tweet of the Day, I’m Torn Between Being Appalled… edition.

…and wondering if the CCA has a genre fiction category.

The Critics Choice Awards have always been kind of silly, but this is almost comically corrupt. (From Matthew Belloni’s newsletter.) pic.twitter.com/uGGuW4x7E6

— Sonny Bunch (@SonnyBunch) August 29, 2022

I mean, the math checks out. $500 + (500 [number of bribees] x $8 [cost to print, package, and ship a book]) = $4,500. If even only a quarter take the bribe, 125 x 20 (absolute minimum sales from their pay-for-play linking) x $3 (profit from a book) = $7,500. Worth it*!

Moe Lane

*Yes, absolutely immoral and I’m not going to do it. But, cashwise? Worth it!

Artemis 1 launch scrubbed today.

I was going to get a post in, but the Artemis 1 launch is not gonna happen today. Engine troubles. Maybe they’ll get them fixed by September 2nd. Or September 5th.

Further commentary seems… unkind.

Have YOU reviewed a book from your favorite author today?

I don’t mean me, although if you want to review my books, have at it. But you probably have favorite authors. They undoubtedly hunger for reviews on Amazon. Give them reviews! It benefits them when they get reviews!

And yes, I went and reviewed somebody’s book this evening. Because it’s important. So go ye, and do likewise.

#commissionearned

08/28/22 Snippet, TOUR OF DUTY.

Everything is fine.

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March 2

We got told of ‘reasonable precautions’ to ‘handle any concerns.’ Since we’re in a vacuum and the temperature’s cold enough to freeze carbon dioxide, the senior techs have decided that popping the lid on one of the canisters long enough to get a tissue sample wouldn’t do any harm. Once we get enough of the sample scanned and mapped, we can even put it back, and run simulations to work out the properties of the flesh. Some of the liquid nitrogen might boil away in the meantime, but if we go quickly enough, not enough to matter.

It’s not actually a bad plan. There’s a lot of oddball organisms out there, but we’ve never found anything that could survive under these conditions. You need energy for life, and there’s not enough energy here to spare. Simple as that. And there’s no way a biological entity could infect a computer system, either. We should be fine.

We should be fine.

08/28/22 Snippet, SHIFTED SANDS.

I didn’t really want to write any Tom Vargas today, but part of Chapter 2 popped into my head. I thought it’d be wise to get that down, before I forgot it. So here’s some of the new book, in its rawest form.

“But seriously, Tom. It was Honors Night. Did you have to chase the guy all the way to the podium? And then throw him into the orchestra pit?”

“Yes!” I said, too brightly. “First off, think about what would’ve happened if I had let him take the podium. That letter of ‘thanks’ he had would’ve started a brawl the likes of which the Billy has never seen. And a dozen feuds.”

“The nobility likes to feud,” Dory muttered. “And I like to watch them do it. When they’re feuding, they’re not wasting the Castle’s time with stupid plots.”

“Sure, but usually the nobles slap each other’s faces. This time, the hands would’ve have knives in them. You see the letter that guy had?”

“No comment, Shamus.”

“So you did see it. Some of the stuff in there, you don’t want the nobles to even think about. A lot better to give them a big, splashy distraction instead, right?” I puffed out a little. “That’s one thing Shamuses are good at. Distractions.”

“And property damage. Do you know how expensive musical instruments are?” She looked at a paper. “Like xylophones. You would not believe how expensive a xylophone is. Did you have to throw the man right onto it?”

“Off the record?”

Dory gave me another stinkeye. “Okay. Sure. Why not?”

“Yeah, I had to throw the guy onto the xylophone.”

“…Why?”

I gave her my most somber look. “They’re dangerous. Never trust a musical instrument that looks that much like a skeleton.”

Watching Dory try to process that was almost as much fun as throwing the guy into the xylophone. But my innocent amusement was short-lived; Dory visibly rallied. Well, it’s part of her job. “I’m gonna miss these little chats, Tom,” she said, with a big, happy, liar’s grin. “I hope you will, too.”

Well, that didn’t sound good.

Patreon Microfiction: ‘Action Item.’

100WS-Action ItemDownload

I’m assuming that fulfilling this particular ‘Action Item’ would transcend boredom entirely, bringing it to a perfect rapture of dullness. Fortunately, I just write these scenarios. I don’t actually have to live through them.

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