Moe Lane's Blog, page 129
December 29, 2024
12/29/2024 Snippet, NEVER RETURN.
I am pardonably proud of this bit.
Patreon!He bore up well under the strain — and, indeed, the costly spellcasting had found us a candidate. “This is Mistress Jaquelyn Hawes, Mistress Dexter,” he told me, absently wiping his face with a handkerchief before waving it at the angry-faced young woman he had in tow. “She has graciously agreed to serve her country in this ritual.”
Mistress Hawes glared in my general direction. “I had conditions. You’re not bringing that cheating bastard back to life, are you?”
“No,” I told her promptly. “That would require a body intact enough to be reinvigorated, quite a lot of magic, a decent amount of good fortune, and most importantly: any willingness on my part to resurrect the man. Sending his soul on to its presumed reward is my goal, this afternoon. I presume you and your husband are… estranged?”
“He’s not supposed to be my husband,” she ground out. “The son of a bitch skipped out on me three months ago. I’ve been trying to serve papers on him ever since. The cop said you’d maybe want them?”
I took the proffered envelope and riffed through the contents. “I might, at that. Do you mind?”
“Will it get rid of the son of a bitch, once and for all?”
“Hopefully.”
“Then no, I don’t mind. I’d say shove them down his throat, except he doesn’t have one, because he’s dead.” The smile on Hawes’ face was truly chilling to behold. “Is it gonna hurt, whatever it is you’re gonna do?”
“As little as possible,” I managed to say.
She scowled. “Well, I guess you can’t have everything.”
The YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN trailer.
This… isn’t bad?
I kind of like the ‘this is the suit a teenager can make’ vibe to YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN. Good banter. A willingness to give the bad guys concussions. This has potential. Assuming Disney+ doesn’t screw it up… oh. Right.
Also, obviously the Osborn thing won’t end well. But then: does it ever?
RIP, Jimmy Carter.
James Earl Carter was President of the United States from 1977 to 1981. He will be remembered here for his part in decriminalizing and fostering the private brewing of beer and wine in the United States. It may very well be his finest domestic achievement as President, and it was definitely a solid boon for the Republic.
I am not joking. Unless you have experienced it for yourself, it is difficult to comprehend just how bad American domestic beer got after Prohibition wiped out all the local breweries. I have spent my adult life watching craft beer get ever better in this country, and it all stems from the restored ability of Americans to actually learn how to brew properly. So, say whatever else you might like about the man, but in this at least President Carter did his duty.
My prayers and condolences to his family and loved ones.
There is a Fourth Thing, mind you*.
This is absolutely correct.
It is real, but they’re calling it “Naval Diplomacy” now. Somebody probably complained. There’s always that one person, you know? …Don’t be that one person. That is the wisdom I have to offer you. You know that guy? Don’t be that guy.
Moe Lane
*You know what it is… Yup. The Roman Empire.
#commissionearned
Patreon Microfiction: Sole Survivor.
Patreon!They did not overlook the Sole Survivor. They weren’t thwarted, either: They could have broken through that barricade in less than a moment. Almost less than a thought.
Just to be clear on that.
December 28, 2024
‘No Sleep Till Brooklyn.’
No Sleep Till Brooklyn, Beastie Boys
#commissionearned
Book of the Week: The Fellowship of the Ring.
It’s time. In the new year, I start with The Fellowship of the Ring, go through the entire trilogy, read The Hobbit, read the Silmarillion, and then find The Unfinished Tales, The Book of Lost Tales, and whatever other books I’ve got floating around here.
No reason. No plan. Just for the sake of doing it.
#commissionearned
Tweet of the Day, You’ll Pay For The Whole Seat… edition.
…but you’ll only need the edge*.
You see how simple men are? This shit entertaining as hell pic.twitter.com/CA6B80d5tQ
— non aesthetic things (@PicturesFoIder) December 28, 2024
Via @alexthechick.
*This is not sarcasm.
12/28/2024 Snippet, NEVER RETURN.
Academia!
Patreon!Gallagher peered over the proffered sheet. “Ah. Yes. Mid-twentieth century ballad, at least by the Old American definition of ‘ballad.’ Note how the text features a spoken-word introduction, followed by verses meant to be sung. That suggests a transitional work between the old and new lyric traditions that arose in the last two centuries of the First Republic…”
“Freeman,” I interrupted, and he grinned at me.
“Sorry, Sun. Academic itches must be scratched. Anyway, yes, it looks like it’s a folk song — no idea of the tune, mind you — of some poor unfortunate, trapped forever on the… oh, of course. It’s a song about the Antiquity! That must be why our Mr. Shane had collected it. A very old song, too. It must have been made at least a century before the dawn of the First Age of Magic.” He handed me the paper. “I don’t suppose you can glean more, with psychometry or suchlike?”
“It doesn’t work that way,” I absently responded, really reading the text now. All scholars in the Second Republic may learn Old American from books, but actually encountering the language as it was spoken can sometimes be a challenge. “Would this Charlie in the song really have been forced to ride on their trains for an eternity?” I asked Gallagher. “Surely somebody else would have given him a nickel to get off.”
Movie of the Week: KLAUS.
Which is only on Netflix. Apparently, KLAUS is one of the great Christmas movies, and would have blazed across the sky like a second animated sun if it weren’t for the minor detail that it came out in November of 2019. Instead, people watched it… and then promptly forgot about it, because 2019-2021 pretty much turned into this creative black hole that sucked up all the positive cinematic buzz in the room.
Still, it’s supposed to be great.
