Moe Lane's Blog, page 115

The “Oh, hey. He’s a PC and it’s not Survival Mode” NOVOCAINE trailer.

That pretty much sums up NOVOCAINE. Although he has to have some kind of healing factor… no, wait, he’s a player character. As long as he doesn’t actually die, all Novocaine has to do is eat a ham or something and he’ll perk right back up.

I’m actually thinking about seeing it. I mean, it’s gonna be real bloody, obviously, but I can’t feel the hero’s pain, either. The conceit amuses.

Reminder: I will be selling books at the Old Glory Harley-Davidson this Saturday.

I’m looking forward to it, actually. Ever since I went to a local event and sold a bunch of books, I’ve been looking for interesting venues. I mean, motorcyclists read fantasy novels, too. Or maybe their spouses do, or their adult kids. How do I find out? By showing up. That’s how we do it, in this country. We try things.

Besides: the Old Glory Harley-Davidson is like, right here in my hometown. I could practically walk there.

Moe Lane

PS: If you can’t wait, please, by all means: buy my books!

#commissionearned

Fascinating exercise in a whole different world: Christmas Under Wraps.

My troubles with getting TIMMY AND THE BAD PLACE out the door stems from a single source: I don’t know enough about Hallmark Christmas movies. I mean, I could fake it, and to a certain extent I have gotten about a thousand words out by getting some of the plot elements down, but I need to actually watch this stuff. Because the goal isn’t actually to make fun of Hallmark Christmas movies, believe it or not.

So I started out today by watching Christmas Under Wraps. It’s considered one of the best Hallmark Christmas flicks, and it’s… actually not bad. But it’s one of those movies that is one ominous soundtrack and just a slightly flatter/creepier mass affect away from being a horror flick. It’s like watching a story about a woman being infected by a parasitical hive mind, only the hive mind isn’t actually horrible and won’t lock her in her room when she tries to leave.

…Which isn’t a bad idea for a story, come to think of it. I imagine a hive mind must be desperate to have other people, after a while. If only because that way it could get a cribbage game in.

Anyway: I’m mildly curious to see how many of these flicks I can watch before I crack.

Moe Lane

#commissionearned

‘Fairytale of New York.’

This is a very Irish carol. Or Irish-American carol. Or East Coast Irish-American carol. I dunno, man.

Fairytale of New York, The Pogues

#commissionearned

Some days have more inertia than others.

This was one of them. I’m lucky to have made wordcount.

12/11/2024 Snippet, CALL OF THE MOON-BEASTS.

A double helping of wordcount, today.

Patreon!

Abbie was a better codesmacker than Tobias was, so he let her navigate the barely stable mess that was their current electronic mail system. He also pulled in Ward, for reasons he tried not to think about. The good doctor had a certain viewpoint that was proving increasingly helpful for… anomalous cases. It made sense to have him along for the ride from the start.

It wasn’t that easy. Grabinski hadn’t logged into the system in the last twenty-four hours. But he had been checking his mail before that. He had even sent a message. The message file had been thoroughly corrupted, to the point of making the recipient unintelligible, but at least it was a sign of some activity.

“Why didn’t we think of this before?” grumbled Abbie. “Are we just assuming that a crazy person’s too crazy to even use email?”

“Yes,” Dr. Ward snickered. “We weren’t even wrong. Nobody on base these days sends an email when a face-to-face meeting will do. I’ve been encouraging it, actually. Too many neverwokes happening to people who stayed in their rooms and never saw anybody. I’m hoping bunking up two to a room will help with that in the future.”

My short-short ‘Turn The Page’ is up on Patreon for free-tier patrons.

‘Turn the Page‘ is my latest didn’t-win flash fiction contest entry. I like it anyway. I made it free-tier to encourage people to sign up for free. Always working the angles, me…

Patreon!

Tweet of the Day, Don’t Mess With The Chick-fil-A Drive-Thru Line edition.

Somewhere, there’s a bunch of Waffle House employees going over this video, and taking notes. Why? Because the true professional recognizes that there’s always more to learn. Waffle House doesn’t do much with parking lot brawls except let the cops deal with it, because no drive-thrus. They can analyze this with fresh eyes.

Besides, it’s interesting to see how terrain can change a takedown.

A Chick-Fil-A employee heroically tackles an attempted car-jacker in the parking lot pic.twitter.com/FL4rETHujf

— Dudes Posting Their W’s (@DudespostingWs) December 11, 2024

Via @RocketPulpHack. Also: old, but real.

‘Santa Baby.’

Santa Baby, Eartha Kitt

#commissionearned

FINALLY got around to plotting out TIMMY AND THE BAD PLACE.

You’d think that I’d start with that, especially when I just have the basic conceit and not any of the details. But I know what the story is, finally. All I have to do… is watch some Hallmark Christmas movies. Which I absolutely do not want to do, but this won’t work if I don’t do the work.

Ah, the suffering one does for one’s art.