Jacob Robinson's Blog, page 11
September 24, 2023
Baby Bird – Act I
Melanie ShanahanCONTENT WARNING: Baby Bird contains elements that readers might find disturbing or reminders of past trauma. Diligence and discretion is recommended.
Melanie Emilia Shanahan,who preferred to be called Melanie (except by her best friends, who called her “Mel”), was a 19-year old girl with olive skin, oak-brown hair, and a pair of hazel eyes. She was slim and small and was in DECA in high school. There was a photo of her on the family house’s fireplace of when she was in the state championship, wearing an oversized black suit and a pair of plastic-framed glasses. She switched to contacts when she got to college.
She also switched to the other side of Washington state, electing to go to university at Hill Valley College instead of the much closer University of Washington. She didn’t offer her parents a way of explanation beyond the fact that she thought the campus looked nice, but her father drove her all the way there regardless.
When we meet Melanie for our story, she had already gotten close to finishing the first semester of her yet undecided college career. She had also already made a few friends, including her roommate who woke her up one Thursday morning.
“Mel. Mel! It’s eight o’clock, girl.”
Melanie groggily got out of the bed. She wore a thrifted concert t-shirt for The Smiths and a pair of gray sweatpants. Her long brown hair dangled from her face.
“Shit, my phone didn’t go off?” she yawned out, turning towards her roommate. She was African-American, same age as Mel, with a neat set of dreadlocks that weaved into a bun at the back of her hair.
“I think so. I didn’t hear it.” The girl replied. Melanie gave a deep sigh.
“Well, thanks Fifi.”
Fifi smiled. “No prob, girl.”
Melanie went through her standard routine. She put on her makeup, brushed her teeth, and tied her hair up into a high ponytail. She got into something more presentable — a plain camo-green jacket and some skinny jeans — then walked out for her first class of the day.
Melanie was outgoing. She always had been. Her problem was never with talking to people — perhaps with fitting in, but never talking. Beyond Fifi she had become close friends with Rocko, a part-Maui boy in her service organization, and Mary-Ann, a short blonde girl with thick black, rounded glasses that had the same English course.
It was that very English course that she had been running late for. Only a minute or so before the class began she sat in the back with Mary-Ann, who had saved her a seat. Melanie dropped her backpack down to her feet and slumped in the chair.
“Thanks for keeping the spot for me, Ann.”
“Still having problems with your phone alarm?” Mary-Ann asked. Her voice was high pitched, and nasally. But in a good way.
“Yeah. I think I might need a new phone, the whole audio thingy is messed up. It doesn’t even detect my headphones anymore, so I can’t walk to class while drowning out all the other noise.”
Mary-Ann gave a squeaky giggle. “That sounds like a nightmare.”
Melanie shook her head. The professor got up to the podium. “Oh, remind me after class. I have a funny story to tell you, about the weird guy at the cafeteria.”
“Oh, you do?”
The conversation was cut off by the professor beginning his lecture. Mary-Ann, for the most part, diligently took notes on her laptop. Melanie had a notebook that she kept in her lap, and occasionally scribbled down a slide title or two. But her attention was drawn instead to something else: the boys sitting at the lower rows.
Throughout her life so far, Melanie never had a boyfriend. The life event had mostly skipped her by. It didn’t really have anything to do with her personally; while she was somewhat nerdy in high school, she wasn’t unpopular. Rather, she saw herself as better than all of that. That she didn’t need to debase herself to what all the other girls were doing.
But, in the summer between high school and college, her thought process began to change. Part of it was the dawning realization that, if she wanted a life partner, college was likely one of her last chances to get one. More deeply, however, it was the romantic part of her finally being awakened. For the first time in her life, her daydreams consisted of finding her perfect boy, leaning on his arm, and letting the wind flow through her hair.
When class ended, the two girls walked out together into the courtyard.
“So, what did you want to tell me about?”
“Huh?”
“You know, the weird guy.”
Mel snapped back to attention. “Oh, yeah! Okay, so, you know how I had the theory about him being homeless? Well, yesterday, I come in for breakfast, and he’s just laying there. His entire body sprawled on one bench, arms crossed, eyes closed. And there’s this group of people… I think I recognize them from the art club… and they’re talking. Anyway, Weird Guy is really clearly upset about the whole thing. He’s like, covering his ears and getting this really pained expression on his face. And all of a sudden he turns to me, and goes — oh, sorry!”
This wasn’t part of the story. Melanie wasn’t looking as she walked and almost got run over by a boy on a bicycle. He waved behind him after she apologized, and rode off.
“And, uh… so he turns to me, and says, ‘Don’t these people know how to be quiet? I’m just trying to sleep, for godssakes!’ And of course, I don’t wanna like… piss him off, or anything, so I just nod and am like, ‘Yeah, yeah!’. Well I think this was a bad move, cause the next thing he does is he gets up, and walks over to them, and starts talking. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but it’s clear the art club kids are just… confused as hell. So they talk a little, back and forth, and eventually Weird Guy heads back to his bench. He gives this biiiiiiig sigh, then lays right back down on his bench and falls asleep.”
Mary-Ann giggled, holding her books close to her chest. “I wish I was at the Nova dorms. Sounds like you guys have all the fun.”
The two waited at the corner of the street for the walk sign to light up. “Yeah, well, living in Nova comes with its ups and downs.” Melanie scratched at her ponytail. “Anyway, I think that solidifies my theory that he’s homeless. Otherwise, why would he be sleeping in the middle of the cafeteria? He could just go back to his dorm.”
“Maybe he lost his keys.”
Melanie spat out a laugh. “I don’t think that’s it, Ann. But I like your way of thinking.”
Mary-Ann smiled. “So, what’s your plans for the rest of today?”
The walk sign turned on, and the two walked the street. “Well, Fifi invited me to that party at Rodan. You’ve been there?”
“You mean Rodan Condos?”
“Yeah, yeah. Where they have all those crazy parties at. She invited me and said a friend of hers is going to be there also. You wanna come, too?”
Ann shook her head. “Sorry, but, um… parties aren’t for me.”
Melanie nodded. “Good on you. You should study, unlike us jerkoffs.”
“Well… I wouldn’t say I do that, either. But I appreciate you inviting me.”
The girls reached a plaza, where they were to go their separate ways. The two said goodbye to one another, and walked on.
…
Later in the night, Melanie and Fifi got ready in their dorm room. Her roommate walked into the bathroom wearing a tight red dress, as Mel looked at her while applying glitter under her eyes.
“Oh, so it’s that kind of party, huh?” Melanie smiled.
Fifi put her hands on her hips. “I’m just tryna show. You don’t have to dress up if you don’t want to.”
Melanie finished off her glitter, and began to tie up her high ponytail. “I think I’ll keep it simple. Maybe the black sweatshirt, and those short-shorts.”
“Sounds good to me. Wear what you want.”
Fifi drove the two down to the condos. It wasn’t too hard to find out which house was the right one — a few drunk college kids hung around a single complex that lit up with bright rainbow lights and vibrated with rap music.
As the girls got out of the car, they spotted a common friend — a silver-haired Korean girl named Maya. She was flanked by two taller, white boys.
“Oh my gosh, hi Fifi! Hi Mel!”
Melanie outstretched her arms to the girl, and the two hugged. “Hey Maya. You headin’ out?”
“For now, I might be back later. We’re hungry so we’re getting gyros.”
Fifi came round from the other side of the car. “I thought they were ordering pizzas?”
“They were, but I guess the order fell through. Anyway, seeya guys!”
Maya walked off with her entourage. The two girls walked towards the condo. While they did, Fifi muttered under her breath. “Knew I shoulda eaten something before I came.”
…
For the first fifteen minutes or so of the party, Melanie mostly kept off to the side. She gently nodded her head to the music, sipping from the alcohol from her plastic cup and surveying the crowd of people she barely knew. At some point in all of this, Fifi came around, laughing while a boy followed her closely behind.
“Hey, Mel… this is the guy I wanted you to meet.”
Melanie looked at him. He was a Latino student with fair black hair, neatly cut short. He wore a striped blue polo and beige chinos, which were perhaps out of place for the environment; but he carried himself well and had a bright smile on his face when he greeted Melanie.
“Name’s Calvin,” the boy said. “Nice to meet you.”
Melanie nodded in response. “Nice to meet you, too.”
“He’s a Poly-Sci major too. He’s in my Civil Rights course. He’s also on the board of the Young Democrats.”
“Oh, cool!” Mel replied, trying her best to seem interested.
“But, yeah. I think you two have a lot in common — you should ask him about his favorite band.” She winked over at Melanie. “Anyway, I gotta go see how my other babes are doin’. Catch you two later!”
“Uh…” Melanie reached out towards her friend, but Fifi had walked off before Mel could call out to her. She was stuck with the boy.
“So, what is your favorite band?” Calvin asked after an awkward moment of silence.
“Oh, um, well…” Melanie scratched the back of her head and looked nervously around. “I mean, I like listening to sort of, indie rock bands, kinda in the 80s and 90s… But I mean, like, I don’t know that much about genres and stuff, I just sorta listen to it.”
“That’s fine. I don’t know too much, either.”
“Anyway… I have a lot of favorite bands, but if I had to pick one… and the one Fifi is probably thinking of… I think it would be Heavenly.”
Suddenly, Calvin’s eyes widened. “No way, you listen to Heavenly?”
Melanie looked up. She smiled, and gave a short laugh. “Oh wow, you do too? I didn’t think anyone else really listened to them.”
Calvin nodded. “Yeah, they’re great. I’ve been listening to them for years.”
“Really? I just discovered them last year. Still going through the disco, but yeah. I love them.”
“You know, I saw them in concert when they were performing at the Penberry this summer. Did you go to that?”
Melanie’s face changed. “Huh?”
“Yeah, they performed at the Penberry. The little club downtown. It’s the tour for their new album. You listened to it yet?”
“Wait, I’m sorry… are you thinking of the Amelia Fletcher Heavenly? They haven’t been active for years.”
Calvin’s face suddenly lowered as well. “Oh, uh… no. I’m thinking of the Rick Garvangaris Heavenly. The grunge band.”
Melanie gave a disappointed sigh. “Guess Fifi forgot to ask which one you were thinking of.”
The two stood awkwardly next to one another after that, looking around desperately for a topic of discussion. It was then that Melanie saw him for the first time.
By the kitchen bar was a tall caucasian boy in a loose fitting yellow-patterned dress shirt. He had cropped black hair, and blue jewel-like eyes that glistened under the ceiling lamp he stood under. He carried himself casually, smiling and laughing with the other boys he was with. There was something about that smile that particularly caught Mel’s attention… for a seemingly unending moment she watched him intently, every moment passing, realizing more and more that he may very well be the boy she saw in all her daydreams.
Suddenly she was brought back to life by the boy whose name she had already forgotten.
“So… I don’t know if you have a Snapchat, or something?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. I can add you.”
The two took out their phones. Calvin spoke first.
“My username is uh… calvin.herrera1999.”
Melanie looked up, grinning. “Is that just your name and birth year?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Not very creative, are you?”
Calvin smiled. “Yeah, guess not. What’s yours, then?”
The grin on Mel’s face suddenly dissipated. “Um… you wanna just scan my code instead?”
Calvin leaned against the wall, putting his free hand on his hip. “Oh, so you insult my Snap name, but suddenly I ask for yours and you get cold feet?”
“Alright, fine! Fine.” Melanie leaned back, crossing her arms and hiding her mouth under her sweatshirt. “It’s… mellyyelly.”
“What?”
“Mellyyelly. Listen, I made it back in like, 2013. It’s supposed to be like mellow yellow but since my name is Melanie and I used to go by Melly in like eighth grade I thought it was really clever but now that all that time has passed I don’t think it’s clever anymore in fact I think it’s really embarrassing and so I try not to talk about it and I know I made fun of your name and it wasn’t my intention and I’m sorry that-”
“Woah, woah!” Calvin chuckled as he waved his hand for her to stop. “It’s fine, really. I think it’s cute.”
Melanie stood back up. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better, aren’t you?”
“No, for real, I’m serious.” Calvin inputted some things into the phone, then put it back in his pocket. “Anyway, I added you. Nice to meet you, Mel.”
“Nice to meet you, too.”
Calvin went off to talk to a few of his other friends, and Melanie was left once again alone amongst the party. But she didn’t feel so bad. Every few moments, she’d take a small sip from the liquor in her cup, and place her eyes back on that boy in the kitchen.
…
About an hour later Fifi and Mel left the condo and walked back to the car.
“Hey, you can drive, right?” Fifi asked, her volume a little too loud.
“Oh, yeah. I think I had like, half a drink.”
“Aight, aight, good. Cause honestly, I can barely- whoa!” As the girl went from the sidewalk to the street, she tripped over her heels. Melanie was able to catch her in time, and in response Fifi gave a big laugh. Mel couldn’t help but giggle too. “Well, now you know why you needa drive, Mel.”
As the two drove home, Melanie spoke up. “Hey, Fifi?”
The black college student who was half-asleep in the passenger suddenly came back to life. “H-huh?”
“Did you… did you see that guy at the party? The tall one with the yellow shirt?”
Fifi scratched the side of her head. “You mean… Nathaniel?”
“You know him?”
The girl thought for a moment. “No, not really. But I think he’s the same age as us. Everything I know about the dude I know from Kristy. I can ask her for more info, if you want.”
“Yeah!” Melanie initially reacted, though turned down her excitement as to not betray her intention. “Yeah, that sounds good. Just a little curious about him, is all.”
Fifi turned over to the driver, and smiled. “While we’re on the topic… what’d you think about Calvin?”
“Oh, I thought he seemed like a good guy. Pretty chill.”
“You don’t seem too enthusiastic about it.”
Mel quickly turned to face the passenger, then turned back to face the road, shrugging. “Listen, I’m a free woman. Gotta take in all my options. Make a hasty move, and that’s how you get in trouble.”
Fifi chuckled, and gave a dismissive wave. “Whatever, girl. You do you.”
Yet, despite her claims, something was brewing inside of Melanie. Something she hadn’t felt in a very long time. In fact, something she may have never felt before at all.
…
The next morning, Melanie met Mary-Ann and Rocko for lunch at the college cafeteria. They sat outside, where there was a slight breeze but beyond that a reasonable temperature. They each had a burger from the grill station. Mary-Ann was the only one who bothered to put lettuce in hers.
“So, how was the party last night?” The girl with the glasses asked.
“Kinda mid,” Melanie reacted casually, crossing her arms behind her and leaning back. “Maybe I should have studied after all. What were you two up to?”
Rocko lowered his head. “Uh… well…”
Mary-Ann, who apparently did not take his hint, answered the question like normal. “Oh, Rocko invited me to a cool club he’s in now. It’s like, a lightsaber club. Basically at night a bunch of people go out to Gingham Field with a bucket full of those lightsaber toys, and just play-fight with them for an hour or so. It’s very therapeutic.”
“W-well, I mean…” Rocko’s cheeks turned red. “I mean, it’s just something dumb to like, do on the weekends, when you don’t have anything better to do, you know.”
Melanie smiled. “Sounds like a lot of fun.”
Mary-Ann took another bite of her burger, when she remembered something. “Oh yeah. Fifi told me you met a guy last night, or something?”
Melanie’s mind immediately went to one place, but quickly she realized her friend was referring to something else.
“Oh, yeah. Calvin. A friend of hers.”
“And how did that go?”
Melanie thought about what to say. “It went well. He’s a nice guy.”
Rocko looked up. “Think you’ll meet him again?”
She shrugged. “Who knows. Maybe.”
…
Later that night, however, young Shanahan got to learn a bit more about a subject she was much more invested in. She was in the middle of studying for an upcoming Calculus test when Fifi came in through the front door.
“Alright, I’m back with a present,” Fifi announced.
Melanie looked up from her desk. “And what’s that?”
“Well, you know how you asked me to look into that Nathaniel guy for you? I reached out to a couple of friends who I thought might know him. Turns out the dude’s pretty allusive, but I got a full name for you: Nathaniel Barbut. Apparently he’s just a class above us, studies Photography.”
Melanie’s interest piqued. She got up from her desk, a bright smile on her face.
“Thanks Fifi! I appreciate it.”
Her friend smiled back. “Come on, after seeing how he made you act up? I had to do something about it. Too bad things didn’t work out with Calvin, though.”
In the time that Fifi had spoken, Melanie moved to the bed, now on her phone. “Well, I still think Calvin could make a good friend, and… oh, I think I found him! Nbarbut22, on Insta.”
Fifi leaned over her friend’s shoulder. The black hair and blue eyes of the boy in the picture did indeed look familiar. There were a multitude of pictures of him, in locations varying from canyon sunsets to grocery store shopping cart races. Melanie looked at each picture, and seemed to take it in full – each time she scrolled to a new one, she seemed to get more and more excited.
“Look, look! He’s wearing a Cure shirt! I love The Cure!”
Fifi giggled. “Okay, well, maybe he just got it from Goodwill and thought the design looked good.”
“Oh, and here! He’s at Gasterwood park! That’s right where I grew up!”
The black girl took her face away from her friend’s phone screen, stretching out her arms. “Well, I’m happy for ya, Mel. But you really gotta shoot your shot on this one, you feel me?”
Melanie looked up from the phone. “But how do I do it?”
“I got one last detail you might find interesting. The Photography department happens to be in Schraeder Hall, and his ten o’clock composition class happens to end at around the same time your Calc class starts…”
Melanie’s ears perked up. “You mean… we enter and exit Schraeder at the same time?”
Fifi nodded. “That’s your chance.”
Melanie got up from her seat yet again, except this time she launched herself into Fifi’s arms and gave the girl a big hug.
“Thank you, Fifi. This means a lot to me. Really.”
Fifi had a big smile on her face. “Like I said… had to do something for my girl,” she whispered.
…
Melanie had planned how she would make her first move with Nathaniel for about a week after that, yet when the preordained day came for her to make that move, her nerves started getting the better of her. That morning, once Fifi was out, she stood in front of the mirror in her bathroom and treated it as her rehearsal.
“Hey, my name’s Melanie. What’s yours?”
No. Too flat, no context.
“You know… you kinda look like, Brad Pitt in his 20s. Anyone ever tell you that?”
Nope. Not gonna happen.
“Whoa, hey. Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like an angel.”
What? No.
“You like Disintegration, right? That’s like, my favorite album, too!”
Wait, how would you even know? He’ll think you’re a stalker. Don’t say that.
“Listen, I just… I saw you, at the party a few weeks ago. And there was something that just… I don’t know, it clicked for me. This feeling, I’ve been looking for, for a long time now. I found it when I was with you. And, I was wondering… if you’d give me a chance, for us to know each other a little bit better.”
Melanie stared into the mirror. Days of thinking and ruminating over finally meeting the man of her dreams, and she was no closer to figuring how she would even start. She took in a deep breath, and some renewed vigor hit her. She’d figure it out. Somehow.
…
As Melanie headed towards her Calculus class, she ran into someone familiar – Calvin. The boy was leaning against the brick facade of the Schraeder building, looking down at his phone, but as Melanie got closer he put down the phone and smiled at her.
“Oh, hey Melanie.”
Melanie nodded her head. “Hi, Calvin.”
“You know, I was wondering if you wanted to grab some dinner tonight,” Calvin said, though quickly reconsidered his phrasing. “I mean, like, Fifi and I and a few of our mutuals… we were gonna go to that new Orange Pizza downtown. And I don’t know, maybe Fifi already invited you… but, you know… just so you know you’re invited.”
“Oh, um… thanks, but uh… I- I have a date tonight.”
Melanie wasn’t sure why she blurted out those exact words. There were easier (and more truthful) things to say, but for some reason that was the first thing she had thought of. Calvin looked at her, silent, perhaps even a bit dejected, but recovered quickly.
“Oh, alright then. Hope you have fun.”
Melanie nodded. “Hope you have fun, too.”
Calvin walked off, and Melanie checked her phone for the time. It was just about ready for the class to start pouring out.
The second students started going out the doors, a sharp anxiety hit the girl, and a strong force pulled her to just give it up for now and try again another day. But when she saw the boy again – the young man whose image was now cemented in her mind, yet paradoxically forgotten in its physical form – she built the courage to keep going. Without a plan, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and pushed forward.
Literally, in that sense. In a rush she went full speed at him, knocking into him and throwing them both off balance. As the crowd separated themselves from the two, a batch of papers – stashed inside Nathaniel’s binder – flew all over the ground.
“Oh, oh my God!” Melanie feigned. “I’m so sorry! Here, let me, let me help you clean this up.”
Nathaniel looked annoyed at first, but after he got a good look at the girl who had run into him his demeanor seemed to lighten up. “Oh, no, that’s fine. Thank you… thanks,” he repeated, as Melanie handed him the papers one after another.
Melanie took her own good look at the boy. It was the closest she had ever gotten to him at this point, and she picked up on many details she might not have otherwise known. For example, his body smelled strongly of some sort of tobacco – not of cigarettes, something richer, maybe a cologne or something that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. When she brushed against his skin, it was coarse, but not necessarily rough. There was a lot of hair on his forearm, and the hair that was there was soft. It helped balance it all out.
As her eyes turned down she noticed the shirt he was wearing. It was for Night of the Dredges, an old horror movie she had seen a few years ago. She was surprised – none of her background research told her he was a fan of the film. Melanie took her chance.
“Hey, is that a Night of the Dredges shirt?”
Nathaniel looked down at himself, and smiled. “Oh yeah, it is. You know it?”
“Yeah, I saw that movie a few years ago. Really enjoyed it.”
“You seen The Haunting of Abelhouse?”
Melanie’s ears perked up. “Yeah, I have!”
It didn’t take long from there for Melanie to forget all about her math class. Instead, they took a walk together, introducing themselves formally then discussing a wide menagerie of film, music, and other interests that Melanie knew the two shared. While talking, Nathaniel seemed to take the backseat, mostly listening to the excited (and oftentimes frenetic) stories and speeches that came from Melanie’s lips. Overall he was amused, and internally reeled in the good fortune of meeting a girl like this. Melanie thought the same way about him.
“Hey, this is my place,” Nathaniel interrupted the girl, gesturing to a small somewhat dilapidated home off campus that they now reached. He pulled out his phone as he stopped walking. “But we should keep in touch. Do you have a Snap?”
“Oh, um… yeah.. It’s-”
“Mellyyelly?”
Melanie looked up. “How did you know?”
“You told me your name. Melanie Shanahan, right? I just searched it in People and you’re the first one that came up. Cute username, by the way.”
The girl blushed. “Th-thanks.”
The two added one another, and Nathaniel walked over to the gate, opening it, and waved his hand behind him.
“Well, I’ll see you soon, Melanie.”
Melanie smiled. “Yeah. See you soon.”
The young college student watched her crush walk up the pathway, to his front door, closing it behind him. It was this moment that marked the point where everything in Melanie’s life would change.
…
The next morning, the girl had breakfast at the dorms with Fifi, Rocko, and Mary-Ann. Dreamily, she told them about her experience from the day before.
“So I look up, and who do I see but the guy I’ve been hounding on about for the past two weeks? And, I mean, he’s just as good-looking in person, if not better. He’s got this cologne on, too… and mind you, he’s just walking out of class. He wore cologne to class, that’s how you know he has style. Anyway, I immediately recognize this as a moment of divine intervention and try to shoot my shot. And, what do you know, he’s interested! We were so engaged in conversation that I walked with him back to his house. I forgot all about class.”
This last sentence perked Mary-Ann’s ears. “Wait, you skipped class? Aren’t you gonna get a zero on the quiz, then?”
Melanie dismissed the comment. “Zero, shmero. I’m not gonna tell my kids the story about how I turned in my homework every day on time. But… I might just tell them about this.”
Fifi smiled, leaning in closer. “So, what’s your gameplan now?”
“I texted him back this morning. Already got a response. I figure I’ll just go back and forth on messages for now.”
Everyone seemed to agree it was a good idea. The group moved on to other topics, and finished their breakfast.
…
The texting back and forth between Melanie and the boy she now knew well continued. One day she got a heads up that a party would be taking place in the same housing complex that Nathaniel lived in. A few days later, while Melanie was preparing for the event, Fifi stopped to eye her curiously.
“You going out tonight?” Fifi asked. She was dressed in a casual purple sweater and baggy gym shorts, in comparison to Melanie’s strapless red blouse and black mini-skirt.
“Oh, yeah, I am,” Melanie casually mentioned while finishing up her eye makeup. “Sorry, I thought I had told you.”
Fifi seemed a little peeved. “No, you didn’t. What’s it for?”
“Party with Nathaniel and a few of his friends.” Melanie finished and put the makeup back where it belonged. “I don’t think you’d be super interested in coming, anyway.”
Fifi shrugged. “Not like I’m doing anything better this weekend.”
Now that she was done with her preparation, Melanie realized the spot she had put her friend in. She gave Fifi a pitying look.
“I’m sorry, Fi. I just… it’s awkward because, like I said, it’s all Nat’s friends… and I don’t know how they would feel about me plus-oneing this early… but, next time, okay? I promise.”
Fifi, who cooled down a bit, nodded. “It’s no big deal. Lemme know how it goes.”
Melanie walked out the dorms and followed her Google Maps back to the house she had only been to once before. As she approached the front door, she got nervous. She pressed her finger on the doorbell, which gave a sort of muted, cacophonous tone. A few minutes later, the door opened, revealing a tall hispanic boy with long black curly hair.
“Wazzup bitch, welcome to the sh- oh!”
The boy did not realize who he was speaking to until it was too late. While the embarrassment washed over him, Melanie winked.
“Is Nat here?”
The boy turned around, leaning inward to the doorframe. “Yo, Nat – your girl’s here!”
The prospect of being called Nat’s girl excited Melanie, but she kept a calm demeanor as she walked through the door and saw that familiar boy standing in front of her. Wearing his traditional plaid get-up, he smiled at the girl.
“Hey, Mel. Glad you could make it.”
Melanie spent the rest of the party hanging out by Nathaniel’s side. His friends were, almost certainly, not Melanie’s type. They were loud, boisterous, and inappropriate – on several occasions, a few of them made rather sexual comments about women, to which one of them would cough, they would all look at Melanie, and the conversation would be silent for a few moments after. But Melanie was fine with all that – the whole reason she was there was for Nathaniel, who reciprocated the care, keeping her close and at several points wrapping his arm around her.
The party went late into the night. At some point, one of the friends – the same one who had greeted Melanie at the door – stood up.
“Well, I think it’s about time for me to bounce. I’ll seeya guys later.”
“I should probably get going too,” Melanie said, getting up from the couch. As she did, however, Nathaniel grabbed her hand.
“You walked here, right?”
“Uh… yeah. I did.”
“Let me drive you home. It’s way too late to be walking now.”
Melanie did her best to hide her blush. “Oh, really, it’s not that far away-”
“Come on Mel,” Nathaniel said, getting up from the couch and standing close to her. “Let me drive you home.”
In the background, a few of the boys looked at each other and smiled. But Melanie didn’t notice them, instead focusing on the boy in front of her. She nodded.
“Alright then. Let’s go.”
Melanie followed Nathaniel to his car, an old beat up Dodge truck, and they got inside. As Nathaniel put the keys in the ignition, he spoke up again.
“I hope you didn’t mind the guys too much. They’re pretty rowdy, but they’re all good people.”
Melanie smiled, looking out the window. “It’s no big deal. I thought it was funny. Especially when – Iman, was it? – started talking about his ‘anime harem’ thing. That felt so out of left field.”
“Oh, yeah. Iman’s a special case. This is the sort of stuff that happens when you never talk to a female.”
Both of them began to laugh. In those moments, Melanie’s eyes moved back towards the boy, and Nathaniel’s eyes met hers. The two pairs interlocked. Just as quickly, the two caught themselves and quickly looked away.
“Well, looks like we’re already here,” Nathaniel commented, pulling into the dorms. “It’s a short drive, but… y’know.”
“No, I appreciate it! Really.” As Nathaniel parked the car, Melanie took off her seatbelt and opened the passenger door. As she was getting out, however, she turned back one more time towards the boy.
“I’ll see you again, right?”
Nathaniel nodded. “Of course.”
Melanie felt her heart flutter. She smiled, and closed the car door behind her, heading back to her dorm room.
…
Throughout the rest of the winter semester, Nathaniel and Melanie would be in contact with one another, either through texting, parties, or catching each other in the hallways. It got a point closer near the end of the semester that Melanie had begun to hang out more with Nathaniel and his friends than she did Fifi and the others. To most of them this was just a sign of romance, but one member of the group in particular had their reservations.
“The whole thing’s just sorta weird to me,” Rocko began as he had lunch with the friends. Calvin – who had gotten closer to Fifi and became implemented into the group in the same time frame – sat next to him. “I mean, have any of us even met this guy yet?”
“I’ve seen him come down to the dorm a couple of times,” Fifi was eating a sandwich.
“Yeah, but have you talked to him?”
Melanie’s roommate shrugged. “I dunno, not really. He usually just comes to pick Mel up. I mean, I’m sure I will at some point.”
“I don’t know, I feel like… like she’s gone so often now, and when she is here she doesn’t really talk about it. But I feel like, normally, you would be around your friends and talk about it a lot, you know?”
“It’s just young romance,” Mary-Ann interjected. “They probably just want to be off by themselves. She’ll come back around.”
“I agree with Mary,” Fifi concurred. “I’m keeping an eye on the guy. But there’s nothing he’s done that’s too far out of the ordinary. For a dude, at least.”
It was at this point that Rocko turned over to Calvin. The hispanic boy had so far ignored the conversation, his focus being on the food in front of him.
“Calvin, what’s your take on this whole thing? You know, as the neutral observer.”
Calvin shook his head. “No idea. Don’t know either of them very well.”
Rocko let out a deep sigh. “Alright, fine. Maybe it is young love. Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about.”
Mary-Ann let out a little smile. “Don’t worry, Rocko. We’ll find you a girl soon.”
The boy’s cheeks began to blush. “Wh-what does that mean?”
The others all laughed, and continued on with their conversation.
…
The next day was Saturday, and officially the first day of winter break. As Fifi began to pack up her stuff in the living area, Melanie walked out of her bedroom door, phone in hand and still wearing her pajamas.
“You going home today?” Fifi asked.
Melanie shook her head. “I’m leaving on the train tomorrow night. Got a big end of the semester bash at Delta Phi that I’m going to with Nat.”
Fifi let out a groan. “Delta Phi? Really?”
Melanie sat down on the couch. She smiled, putting her phone off to the side. “Yeah, I know, real group of chuds. But we’re only gonna be there for a little bit. Besides, I have him with me.”
Fifi nodded, and went back to packing her clothes. Suddenly she remembered the conversation from the day before.
“Can I ask… are you two ‘official’ yet?”
Melanie thought for a moment, crossing her legs. “Well, at this point we both know a lot about each other. And I don’t want to speak for him, but… I’m in it for the long run at this point, yeah.”
Fifi smiled. “That’s great to hear, girl!”
“Any reason you asked?”
The girl packing shrugged her shoulders. “We were just talking about it yesterday. You know, out of curiosity.”
Melanie tilted her head. “Oh, you’re gossiping, are you?”
“Of course not. Just an innocent conversation among mutual friends.”
A smirk crossed the young girl with brown hair. “Well, things are going really well. You can send that back to them.”
Fifi got up from packing and stood in front of Melanie, her arms outreached. Melanie got up, and the two girls hugged one another.
“I’ll miss you over the break.”
Melanie smiled, and closed her eyes. “I’ll miss you too, Fi.”
The two released from the hug. “Have fun at your party, aight?”
“I will.”
Fifi finished her packing, and soon after left to go home. Melanie still had a few hours before the party was to start.
…
Closer to the time in which Nathaniel was meant to pick her up, Melanie got herself ready. She converted her normally straight hair to a wavy pattern with a curling iron, then put on some makeup – not enough to overdo it, but just enough around the eyes and cheeks – and got on a slim red dress which she had gotten from a nearby JC Penney just a few weeks prior. She waited outside the dorm building, in her usual spot, until Nathaniel’s cheap pickup finally showed to pick her up. When she got inside, Nathaniel smiled, and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled back, and reciprocated.
“So, how did your final end up going?” Melanie asked.
“Oh, you know,” Nathaniel started as he looked at oncoming traffic, beginning to drive the truck away. “Bullshit, like they all are. But I probably did okay.”
Finding an opening, the boy finally drove off onto the road. There was silence for a minute or so, before Melanie brought back the conversation.
“So, you excited for the party?”
“Oh, absolutely. Good way to end off the semester. What about you?”
Melanie looked toward the window. “Yeah, I am. Delta Phi sure is rowdy though, aren’t they?”
“True, true. But when it comes to a frat, the greater the rowdiness the more fun the parties are, ya know?”
Melanie smiled. “Guess you’re right.”
The two drove for a little bit longer. Eventually they came to an elegant, old-world mansion with a light blue palette and white accents. There were already a good number of cars parked out front, as well as some loud visitors and even louder music.
“Look at this place,” Nathaniel commented as he looked up at the house, looking for a place to park. “It’s like a slave plantation.”
“Would explain a lot of the rumors.”
Nathaniel broke out into laughter. “Yeah, sure would. Oh! Looks like there’s a spot here.”
The boy parked the car, and the two made their way into the cacophonous house. It was a sight that, mere months before, Melanie would have never even dreamed of being part of – most of the other girls were nearly topless, as already wasted fraternity brothers raced to get a shot with them. Cups of booze lined the tables and counters, with drippings and spills covering the wooden floor. She was pretty sure she saw some throw up too, but decided to ignore it.
Only a few moments after they had walked in, the two saw a familiar curly-haired college student. He smiled as he approached with two drinks, and Nathaniel greeted him.
“Yo, Iman! How are ya, dude?”
“Ready as ever to fuck my life up. You came at a good time – this was supposed to be for Eric, but I guess you’re getting it instead.”
Iman handed Nathaniel the drink. Almost by instinct, the two interlocked their arms, and chugged their respective cups as a sign of greeting. Melanie watched the two like an observer of zoo life.
“So… guess that means I’m driving us home then?” Melanie asked when they were almost finished.
Nathaniel’s eyes widened, as if he had suddenly realized the consequences of his actions. He finished up his drink, and after a brief moment of thinking, a satisfied smile appeared on his face.
“Sounds like a plan, sweetheart. You see, unlike Iman here, I trust women to drive my vehicle. A true gentleman.”
Iman shook his head, and beckoned the two to follow him. “Come on, I’ve already scouted the place out and found where all the fun is. Lemme show you.”
The next three hours were filled with loud music, debauchery, and drinking. Melanie mostly sat around and watched as an awkward audience member, narrowly escaping encounters with various drunk and belligerent partygoers. For the most part she stayed closely by Nathaniel’s wing, following him around whenever she could and making sure he didn’t get in too much trouble. There were a few times, watching Nathaniel laugh, living with his full personality, that Melanie couldn’t help but smile. Despite how troubling the rest of the experience was, these little moments made up for it. She felt like she could do this for a real long time.
At some point, it became clear that Nathaniel was getting a little too wasted, and Melanie urged him to start getting ready to head home. At first Nathaniel was rather annoyed by this idea, but with the help of Iman – who was also getting ready to leave – he eventually succumbed and let her take him away.
Melanie helped the boy up, as he leaned against her shoulder and walked out in a stupor. His breath had an extremely alcoholic undertone, but she didn’t mind this as much as the warmth of him so close to her.
As they finally reached Nathaniel’s truck, the boy suddenly leaned forward and planted a kiss on Melanie’s neck. “Has anyone told you… how gorgeous you are?” Nathaniel asked, somewhat stumbling over his words.
Melanie blushed, trying her best to stifle a smile. “Let’s just get you home safe, alright?”
She placed the boy carefully in the passenger seat, then got in herself and pulled out of the fraternity house. While Melanie drove, Nathaniel continued to look at her, smiling to himself. At one point he reached forward, taking his hand and rubbing Melanie’s bare thigh. Melanie giggled, kicking her leg up to remove the boy’s touch.
“Hey, hands to yourself!” Melanie said playfully.
Nathaniel didn’t say anything in response, but he didn’t touch Melanie again for the rest of the car ride. His eyes moved towards the window, but every so often he would once again take a peek at the girl sitting next to him.
A few minutes later they arrived back at the dorms, and Melanie helped the boy out of the car. As he stumbled he grasped her body for support, and Melanie grasped him back to keep him steady. Eventually, the two made it back to the apartment.
“Okay, I’m gonna get you a glass of water,” the girl spoke aloud, walking over to the fridge. “Go lay down on my bed in the meantime. It’s the door on the right, with the wreath.”
Nathan did as he was told, walking into the room and sitting down on the bed. It was there that, instead of laying down, he stayed waiting for Melanie. She came in a few moments later.
“Here – sip on this, okay?” She motioned the glass towards him. “But don’t chug it. Last thing I need is you barfing all over my stuff the night before I head back home.”
Nathaniel took it, looking down and swirling it in his hand. He then turned his head back up, and smiled.
“Would you like to sit next to me?”
Melanie closed her eyes and sighed, but with a smile on her face. She did as asked.
Nathaniel took a small sip of the glass, then put it on the end table next to the bed. “You know what we haven’t done yet, that I can’t believe?”
Melanie tilted her head. “What?”
Nathaniel took a look into Melanie’s eyes. Despite his current state, he had a rare sense of focus to him.
“Sex. We’ve been at this for months now, and we haven’t had sex once.”
Melanie blushed, and looked away. “You’re… quite forward when you’re drunk, you know that?”
“But you see what I’m saying, right?”
She turned back forward, covering her mouth so that the boy couldn’t see the slight smile on her face, or the red of her cheeks.
“Well… it’s a possibility, that’s for sure. But not tonight. Tonight you’ve got to focus on getting some rest, okay?”
Nathaniel leaned closer to her, placing his hand on the other side of her legs. “But why? Why not tonight?”
Melanie scooted a little bit back in the bed, placing her hand on top of the one that now invaded her personal space. “Because… it’s really not a good idea, okay? I know you’re out of it right now, but… can you trust me on this?”
Nathaniel got closer, however, to the point where he was right next to the young girl’s face. With nowhere else to go, Melanie began to lean back into the bed.
“Come on, Mel. We’ve got to know each other well enough now, haven’t we?”
“I think we have, but-” Melanie pushed at the boy’s chest, giving her some breathing room. “Just, not tonight, okay? Please?”
The push seemed to not do much to the boy. He leaned forward once more, even further, until he was almost fully on top of the girl.
“Nathaniel, seriously,” Melanie said, giving off a nervous laugh as he kissed her on the neck. The boy didn’t respond, but instead pushed her fully down on top of the bed. Melanie began to feel constrained.
“Nate?”
Nathaniel’s hands began to move down the red fabric of Melanie’s dress, to her naked legs. With some force, he started to push Melanie’s legs apart. It was at this point that something sparked inside her.
“Nathan!”
Her scream was piercing. She was breathing heavily now, with sweat beading around her temples and her body beginning to shiver. Nathan had stopped, and suddenly looked back up at her. He was angry.
“You,” he spoke in a stoic, aggravated tone, pointing straight at Melanie’s face. “Do not yell at me like that, you hear me?”
Tears began to well in Melanie Shanahan’s eyes. “Nate…” she whimpered, her voice beginning to break. “Please don’t do this, baby. Please.”
Nathaniel didn’t respond. He continued what he was doing, this time taking care to cover Melanie’s mouth. The girl began to sob as she could feel herself being pushed and pulled about the bed, until finally she felt something enter inside of her.
It was at this point she blacked out.
ACT IIThe post Baby Bird – Act I appeared first on Jacob Robinson.
September 10, 2023
Can Buddhism and Ego Intertwine?
Alright, I admit — this one’s a bit of a repost. Remember that era back a few years ago where I was getting into writing “serious academic papers” on “wide-ranging concepts”? It didn’t last long, unsurprisingly. But one of the unreleased ones actually involved a subject I still hold close to my heart — a sort of “customized combination” of life philosophies that fit my personal goals and may very well fit yours too. So, I figure, why not share it here?
Old writing starts now:
Abstract: The Rational Egoist Model aggregates the principles of the Main Philosophy with that of an individualistic, ego-based approach. It provides a roadmap that is individual-centered while providing protection against chaos and amorality in the external world. In this method a person creates a “tactics-strategy” paradigm where they follow internal principles according to the Ubermensch concept.
I. Introducing the Main PhilosophyOver the past 1,000+ years, theory on practical philosophy has not changed so much. From the ancient days of Stoic and Buddhist philosophy, the conversion over to the monotheistic “Big Three” (Christianity, Islam, Judaism), and even modern psychological/sociological takes, the key ideas of practical philosophy have stayed constant. Within this paper, these key ideas will be referred to as “The Principles of Main Philosophy”, or shortened to just “the Main Philosophy”.
The four ideas of Main Philosophy consist of: 1) Acknowledgement of impulse as evil, 2) Creation of “emotional-organization” models, 3) Concession to a higher cause, and 4) Addressing community as “center of the world”. We break these four ideas down further below.
Each Main Philosophy acknowledges impulse as a bad. Buddhism is the most clear in this, outwardly labeling desire as “the key to all suffering”. Other parts of Main Philosophy address this in different ways. Christianity mentions the seven sins, all of which are in some way related to impulse. Modern psychology referred to impulse as the Id, claiming it was later filtered by Ego and Superego (providing the system worked).
At this point, it’s common knowledge that impulse can have bad consequences, both personal and social. It makes intuitive sense why impulse would be cast out by the ancients; even our modern laws forbid impulsiveness to an extent.
The next idea on our list is the development of emotional-organization models. The name here explains the concept: having control over your emotion by developing a practice which helps to build an organization for these emotions. Buddhists use meditation as their key activity in this. Stoics had meditation, but they are remembered more fondly for their journals. Monotheists have a form of meditation called prayer. It all serves more or less the same purpose: controlling your emotions allows you to restrict the power of impulse.
Our next two ideas are perhaps a little more controversial. Idea number three is about a concession to a higher cause. Religions, of course, have a god of some sort. More philosophically-inclined groups don’t necessarily believe in a god, but they do usually concede to a universal definition of virtue. This concept of virtue is defined in terms of our fourth and last idea: community before self.
Community before self is the idea that universal virtue can be defined in terms of placing the needs of a community ahead of the needs of yourself. It involves kindness, compassion, justice, chastity against other vices (such as lust or gluttony, which happen to involve community to varying degrees), reason, and a focus on equity. It includes the concept of having principles to live by, though these principles are typically not directed inward, but outward, as a focus of having principles that uplift community.
Obviously, these terms are not that bad. Compassion, justice, reason, and others are all usually good things to have. The trouble with the Main Philosophy comes from the fact that they assume an individual must sacrifice for a community. That the community is bigger than any given person, and must become a priority. In the next section I will discuss the rather paradoxical sounding idea that no one quite believes this to be true.
II. Issues with the Main PhilosophyThe problem with community is that it is esoteric. A person relies solely on the themselves to provide love, pain, pleasure, and survival. A group of persons may interact across these provisions, but they do not directly influence the core of another’s experience. Not only this, but communities provide more abstractions the larger and farther apart they are. Being a member of a classroom, a citizen in the United States, and a human on Earth all imply different “states” of community and therefore different obligations. In reality a person will always prioritize an obligation towards themselves, because they contain their own spirit of existence.
Before I go on, I want to address that this is not an attack on community. This is an attack on community being the core principle of a philosophy meant to better the life of the self. We discussed in the Aspects of Social Games how community and self can coexist in a mutually beneficial manner. All the tenets of virtue can still exist, but not have a domineering role over the individual.
Another key problem with collectivistic virtue being a core tenet of Main Philosophy is that it implies a rigid morality which underlies the world’s structure. In reality, moral being is relative. . A lot of these examples are addressed in On Relative Morality, and are outside the overall scope of this paper, so I won’t mention them here. The point is this: both non-biological systems and biological systems tend to favor their, ironically, personal principles for morality. These morality principles typically involve ways that the individual can survive — e.g., setting a rule to not murder makes it so that you have less of a chance of being murdered yourself. But murdering other species for food is fine, and in some cases murdering those of your own species for a specific reason is deemed appropriate. This latter case is seen primarily in humans, and the reasons mentioned change from culture to culture.
But that’s not really the point, Main Philosophers would argue. The point, they will say, is that we ought to strive better than ourselves, and thus invent an absolute moral law that maximizes welfare given certain constraints.
Very well. The problem with this is that it ignores the natural tendencies of humankind. If it is natural law that a human acts relativistically on a moral level, then inventing an absolute law won’t do all that much. A person will be inclined to act relativistically unless forced to do otherwise. Hard to force them into a moral ruling at scale.
The conclusion on both the community and moral ideas here lead us into a new topic, which is that of order versus chaos. How much order is required within a person’s life to generate happiness? Is order required at all?
III. Order versus ChaosThis, once again, is a topic I discussed at length in the Aspect of Social Games. However this is a particularly poignant topic when it comes to practical philosophy, and so I’ll repeat myself a bit here given its importance.
All of mankind’s fears can be summed from two sources: chaos and/or uncertainty. And uncertainty only counts because we are naturally risk averse, and thus assume uncertain events will be chaotic events.
Because of this, a life full of chaos will inevitably lead to despair. Some level of order in life is required in order to experience happiness. The question becomes what order, and to what degree.
When the Main Philosophy fails, it fails because it sees the idea of institutions as God, rather than as anchor points. When a person is influenced into working with the community before themselves, it generates chaos within them as they are no longer able to act on their own personal principles. At extreme levels of community order (individual chaos) you can get the results of something similar to fascism or communism. So, clearly, this Main Philosophy ideal falls apart somewhere on the individual level.
It is worth knowing that Buddhism in particular does strive to find a way to prevent this. In fact, the main differentiation between Buddhism and its contemporary philosophies (Legalism and Confuscianism) was this very idea. Buddhism does not require the worship of something physical (filial piety, government), yet at the same time it does not lend itself to something abstract (stoicism’s virtues, monotheism’s God). Nirvana is a destination, and while the Eightfold is a path and the Buddha is a founder, neither of these are really required pillars of the Buddhist tradition. Of course, the problem then results in the fact that this idea has fallen in popularity over the years, and most now see the Eightfold Path and Buddha has spiritual anchor points. It’s time to dive a little deeper.
IV. Offshoots of the Main PhilosophyThe first answer to the problems caused by the Main Philosophy was given by Existentialism and its derivations. Existentialism rejects rationalism and spirituality and instead favors emotion and (to an extent) nihilism, which frees up some of the issues of concession and community. An existentialist acknowledges that the key to the health of a society is individual order, and that one can follow through into community order if this is achieved. It does not require a concession to any symbol or idea, but rather insists that a person introspects within themself to find the key to living.
Existentialism is nice because it keeps the ideas of the Main Philosophy while removing two of its biggest faults. However, existentialism is — predictably — not perfect. While existentialism teaches its students to look inside themselves for answers, they aren’t given a roadmap as to how to do so.
Alright, so it’s at this point we can offload the shaky and mostly supplemental philosophical history lesson, and start getting to the meat and potatoes of this paper. The remaining two sections will talk about the rational egoist philosophy, its value as a roadmap, and its implementation into the main philosophy.
V. The Irrationality of EgoismAlright, perhaps we aren’t on the interesting stuff just yet. We have to start this discussion by talking about the obvious: the name “rational egoist” seems to imply a sort of paradox. Certainly living off your ego can’t be rational — can it?
Well, I would argue that there is a rational and irrational form of ego — something the Main Philosophers would disagree with. The Main Philosophy defined ego as a state of desire and emotion — that of the uncontrolled ego, which goes haphazardly to and fro and causes the person to be wrapped in fears and anxieties and chase after short-term pleasures.
Well, I would certainly say that is bad. Irrational, as well. But I don’t believe that ego can be defined quite so simply. Ego is the soul of the human being — the operator of the vessel. It can be angry and misguided when left to its own devices — but what if you were able to tame it?
VI. The Rationality of EgoismThis leads us, ultimately, into the rationality of egoism. This is ego defined by principles, by the Ubermensch, rather than base emotions like desire or greed. This is also where we finally get to a philosophy which solves the problems of the Main Philosophy, because these principles are defined by the individual, not by external forces.
Our issues with the Main Philosophy were that it was defined by a community that the person holds no inherent relationship with and concedes to a power that the person does not inherently believe. The Rational Egoist model separates the social powers created by culture over time from the beliefs and principles of the individual, allowing a person to use the Main Philosophy to prevent damage from separating from the pack while also not needing to fall for generic models of virtue, community, morality, and justice. It is a model that fits best for an amoral and chaotic world — one in which we all live in.
Yet, when one follows the Rational Egoist model, an interesting thing occurs. The ideas of virtue, community, and morality are found naturally. And a person is happy such a thing occurs. Because they’re no longer forced to follow beliefs that they don’t know the why and how of. They came to these same conclusions on their own, following their own wisdom, with their own changes here and there. It is then that you can look at the Main Philosophy critically, and not as word of gospel, and that is the main goal of Rational Egotism.
To end this, I have a cleaned-up copy of my original bullet points for the Rational Egoist model. As always when I write these publications, I start getting nervous that nothing I wrote actually makes too much intuitive sense. But I think a short, bullet-pointed summary can fix that pretty well. This is also a document that serves as a work in progress, and I plan on expanding and altering it over time (just like any of my other ideas).
PHILOSOPHY – THE RATIONAL EGOISTThe individual is at a fixed point of view, and the center of perspective. All other things move and go away.Don’t be afraid when you lose things, or do things incorrectly. All tasks are ephemeral (Nice-to-Have Mindset)All actions can be justified via means of ego. For example, being kind to others is justified through getting others to be kind to you back.Based on this, the selfishness of ego is not justified, as it causes others to loathe the individual, thus making life for the individual worseCaring about others opinions of you, overall, is a waste of time. However, it is valuable to take in their constructive critiques, as it can often be beneficial to you.It is not worth getting concerned over ‘earthly’ things, i.e. things external to you that do not directly engage with you in any way (politics!)Help yourself first, then help others. If you try to help someone while you’re both weak, it will go against both of you.Laugh in the face of pain, discipline yourself against desire
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August 27, 2023
The Best Way to Focus: Do Nothing
This is a quick blog post to talk about an important thing I recently learned when it comes to focusing on a task at hand.
Of course, I’ve been trying to improve my productivity more now that I am self-employed and have a higher need to focus on work. I’ve been trying to figure out the best path to productivity, specifically the best ways to focus on a single task over an extended (1+ hour) period of time. In the past, I’ve had trouble with this across the board. I often switch between tasks, which to be fair can help reduce burnout if the tasks are diversified and separate from one another. However, if I have too much spread and keep switching without being able to focus, I’ll never finish anything. So, I’ve been experimenting with different methods to find the best way to focus. I think I figured it out, at least for me: and it’s to do nothing.
Now, this sounds weird, but let me add more context. I use a Pomodoro timer to manage my productivity, which is very common and helpful. However, I still struggle sometimes to sit down and work the entire time for the Pomodoro. Sometimes I’ll get distracted and forget all about the Pomodoro timer, and when I come back, it’s already been five Pomodoros past, and I haven’t done any work for the entire day.
What I’ve decided to do is give myself two choices. I can either work during a Pomodoro or do nothing. I can walk around, think, stand, or sit, but I can’t go on Discord, Reddit, YouTube, or any other distractions. That way, if I’m burned out from a task, I can get up from my chair and start walking around. Sometimes, I go through an entire Pomodoro timer doing nothing but walking around my room.
Why is this better than getting distracted? First, when you’re doing nothing, there’s no time dilation, unlike when you’re going on Reddit or YouTube. This means that while I’m liking to miss one Pomodoro, I’m very unlikely to miss five of them. Second, doing nothing is very boring, even more boring than working. So, sometimes, I just find that if I’m left with these two choices, I’ll go back and be like, “Okay, I’m done walking around. I thought about what I need to think about. Let me just go back to this work.”
That’s how I’ve figured out the best focus for my Pomodoro timer. It’s definitely something that I think would be valuable for other people to try, too. I still haven’t perfected this formula, but I’m still working through it, and of course, there will be a blog post when I figure out the perfect distractionless work environment (if it even exists). But that’s where it stands right now, and I feel like that’s a strategy that’s worked really well for me.
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August 13, 2023
How to use AI to get you motivated to work
If you are anything like me, then every time you see a blank page, you’re probably paralyzed. Every time I start a new project, it’s such a pain to get those first couple of words together, whether it be the first sentence in a blog post or a first recording in a video.
So, getting past that first hill is crucial.
One of the things I’ve been focused on trying to figure out over the past couple of months is how to get through that first hill. And I feel as though AI does have a benefit here in terms of getting you past that bump. If I tell an AI to draft my blog post with X bullet points or draft a blog post with X title or draft a blog post with X stuff in mind, it’ll give me something. That something won’t good, for sure, and I’ll have to edit a lot. But editing it, I find, is much easier than staring at that blank page. Because of this, my new strategy in making blog posts is to dictate them (via Otter.ai — easier to just say my thoughts to a phone as stream-of-consciousness), then have an AI edit it (makes it coherent, from “stream of consciousness” to “first rough draft of post”), and then I do last pass editing (actually making it sound like I wrote it). I’ve found this process is a lot faster than writing it wholesale myself, even with the heavy edits, and that’s because it avoids the first hill problem.
So, I think there is a benefit if you use AI just to get you motivated into working. Staring at a blank page and trying to figure out how to write a first draft of something that you’re not really super interested in writing can end up taking you a couple of hours just to get something down on paper. But if you just have the AI generate something, you look at it, you’re like, “Oh, this is terrible. Now I’m motivated to edit this work that is garbage and fix it.” That’s going to take you a lot less time because you’re not going to be starting at that blank page. So that’s just a small detail of what I think is beneficial when it comes to me and how I use AI.
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July 30, 2023
Museums on the Computer
One of the relatively good things about NFTs is that it introduced me to the idea of museums on the computer.
With the rise of NFTs, there were a few projects where people took their NFTs and placed them in a digital landscape similar to a museum. For example, you could buy different NFTs from various vendors, put them in a Unity map, and import that into a game accessible via a browser or a third-party platform like VRChat. I don’t know if any of these projects were successful or got off the ground, but it was an interesting idea.
Once this idea was in my head, I became curious about other formats of museums on the computer that are unrelated to NFTs. As I delved into it, I realized that there are several sites that can be considered “museums on the internet”. Some of them are quite literally described as museums on the internet, similar to those NFT museums. But some of them are also just websites that could be construed as having the same fundamental idea as a normal museum.
The first example is the Computer History Museum. Now, the CHM is a real, physical museum in Mountain View, California. But it also has many online-only exhibits. There’s a whole section on their website dedicated to what they call “source code exhibits”, for example. These source code exhibits only make sense if you’re browsing remotely, since you can download the source code and look into it in detail, for software like the Apple II DOS or DeluxePaint.
Another example is the Web Design Museum. This is another thing where it doesn’t make sense to have it physically. It goes through the major moments in web design history, whether it be Photoshop 1.0, Yahoo, Google, or the original Amazon.com. It catalogs a lot of that old web design theory. But of course, in the end, it is a museum on the computer, where you can look at these exhibits. They explain what the exhibits are, and they literally call them exhibitions and galleries, just like a real museum.
As we spread our wings, we realize that there are a lot of websites that could be considered museums, but might not necessarily be calling themselves museums. Probably the biggest example of this is Google Arts and Culture. It is essentially a place where you can look at a bunch of old scanned paintings, photographs, and sculptures, making it quite literally an art museum on the computer. In fact, back during the age of the 2020 COVID lockdown, people were using this very site as an alternative to visit a real art museum. Quite museum-like, if you’d ask me!
Another interesting idea is a decentralized museum, like Archive.org, which specializes in cataloging the old history of computers, software, and the web. It doesn’t necessarily shroud each site like an exhibit, or explain each site’s history, but it catalogs the history itself. It’s more of a vault, but there are also a lot of other segments of Archive.org that could be considered more museum-like. For example, there are sections dedicated to old shareware games or old art books, and the people who post them onto Archive.org will often explain the history of that shareware game or that art book.
All these websites are, of course, free. So it really gives credence to the idea of a free museum, a free alternative where you can get (relatively) the same experience. And what I find particularly interesting is that you can really apply this to any site if you have the right design philosophy. For example, let’s take a classical museum, like a science museum. The idea behind a science museum is that you take scientific concepts and build hands-on exhibits to teach those concepts intuitively. You can do similar things with a website, where a website simulates certain scientific concepts and then one plays with it in a hands-on way. You could categorize a website like that as a museum, and certainly, there are a lot of websites that do simulations just like that.
I wanted to talk about this for a while now, ever since the NFT thing really, because there was even a time when I was seriously considering buying NFTs to create such a museum. It was a very short time, but there were a couple of NFT creators (whom I think are genuinely aesthetically good) that I was going to buy some of their works and put them into a personal 3D virtual museum, similar to this idea. But of course, NFTs got relegated to the broom closet, and my interest waned with it. That being said, this idea always stuck with me, and I may one day come back to the idea of a museum on the computer. I just don’t know exactly what that might look like.
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June 18, 2023
My All-Time Favorite Tools
Today on the blog, I want to discuss my all-time favorite tools. In the past, I’ve talked about my daily drivers — the tools I use the most at a given time. These past tools have certainly become important to my productivity and overall well-being. However, some of these tools lose their importance over time. Therefore, I want to create an ultimate compendium of tools that I consider the most important and will always be a part of my portfolio. Here they are.
NotionThe first tool discussed here is Notion. In fact, I made a blog post not too long ago about how important Notion has become for me, with everything in my life being stored on there to an almost uncomfortable extent. While it is still concerning that, in the event of an account ban or if Notion goes down for any reason, all my stuff gets wiped — it is still a favorite tool. I store my to-do list, documents, notes, and most of my workflow on Notion. I use it for planning content too, such as blog posts and fiction stories. Notion AI has added to its usefulness, making it also my most commonly used AI platform (this blog post was made using the help of Notion AI!). So while I definitely need to diversify my tools for “disaster recovery” sake, this is not a problem with Notion itself.
MyMindThe next tool I want to discuss is MyMind. This is one that I made an entire review on, so I’ll speak on it only a bit.
Currently, I’m taking a break from using MyMind. The only reason for this is that I’m working on organizing my notes and creating a new, better note-taking system. Once that’s complete, MyMind will have a place in it. However, my current system and the way I was using the app became overwhelming, as I was putting everything in there without any structure. So, I needed to start from scratch. With that said, MyMind is still my favorite bookmarking tool. I love the ability to stuff everything in there and hit a button to randomly get 10 different things from the queue. It could be a task I need to work on, or an affirmation that I need to remember, or just an article I need to read. MyMind is the best tool I’ve seen for this system of bookmarking. I think it will become the new default for bookmarks because in the past, people would set bookmarks and forget about them without having any external stimulus to guide them into revisiting. With MyMind’s random recall elements, it encourages you to revisit those bookmarks, which is really fantastic.
CanvaAnother essential part of my workflow is Canva, which I use for all my design work. Even basic image editing, which I used to do with Paint.net, is now mostly centralized in Canva. While Canva lacks some freeform tools — stuff I still have to use Paint.net for — the blocky, modular system works well for most use cases. I also use some of Canva’s “fringe features”, such as the content scheduler — if I’m making all my social media posts on there I might as well schedule them on there, too!
Google DriveNext on the list is Google Drive, my default cloud storage. I currently have around two terabytes of data stored on Google Drive, which I use as a longer-term archive for backups of important files such as long-form writing (i.e. books) and important documents. I also use it for storing videos, games, and images that I access irregularly. Google Drive is a basic cloud storage service similar to all the others, so there’s not much need to explain how it works.
KapwingWhile Canva does have a video editor, I find it weak enough to warrant supplementing with another tool. Kapwing is very similar to Canva in terms of its modular design, as well as a left-side panel “asset marketplace” and its own suite of AI features that work pretty well. It might not be as AI-driven as Runway, but it’s great for if you need to get something quick and dirty done.
Kapwing’s smart cut feature and automatic transcription feature are pretty essential to me and how I work. However, one real issue I have with Kapwing is that the system can completely shut down for larger files. This happened to me when I was editing five and a half-hours of stream footage, and the system crashed after I had already edited about an hour. Unfortunately, all of my progress was lost — the revision history wiped my last few days of progress. To be clear, I believe they are working to fix these issues and are in general constantly improving their product through frequent updates.
CalibreSecond to last on this list is Calibre, which is an interesting tool. While it is not as well known as other household names on this list, I have talked about it before in previous favorite tools lists. Calibre is, first and foremost, a desktop ePub reader. The reader itself is… fine. But Calibre’s main selling point is not the reader itself, but its library organization features.
Calibre comes with its own book organization suite, and you can store thousands of pieces of content while still retaining great search and performance. I used to have a Calibre library with 10,000 books and research papers, which unfortunately is lost to time. However, Calibre succeeded in having it all organized by author, genre, and other criteria. It automatically imports all metadata and works perfectly for PDFs, Mobis, and ePubs, which I have not seen yet in other apps (looking at you, Readwise Reader).
Visual Studio CodeLast but not least, my preferred programming IDE is Visual Studio Code. I am a hobbyist programmer and not a professional, so I do not use tools like Emacs or Vim. Visual Studio Code is easier for me to use because of its user-friendly interface, which provides auto-suggestions and identifies the type of code I am trying to run, whether it’s Python, HTML, or C++. Before using Visual Studio Code, I used Sublime Text, which is similar in many ways. I prefer straightforward tools without too many advanced features, and Visual Studio Code is perfect for that.
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So, that rounds out my all-time favorite tools list. There are seven entries in this list, and they are all my favorite tools that I have used for many years. I don’t see any reason for them to leave my toolbox anytime soon. I hope you enjoyed this list, checked out some of these tools, and I look forward to seeing you in the next blog post!
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June 4, 2023
Why Big Entertainment Failed to Bring in Diversity
Over the past few years, the entertainment industry has been pushing for more diversity in films, video games, and other media. This includes writing characters from a wider range of demographics, such as race, sexual orientation, and gender. On the surface this is a great idea — it allows both the people within those demographics to have a larger bucket of characters to relate to, while also allowing creators to generate more interesting and unique combinations of characters. However, despite these benefits, big entertainment industry companies are still struggling to produce anything worthwhile.
The main problem is that these companies are not putting in the necessary effort to create diverse and interesting characters. Instead, they are simply shoehorning diversity into existing characters without thinking deeply about it.
Here’s an example:
Let’s say you had a gay black female party member within a story. Just by virtue of those three traits, they’d probably have a much larger worldview difference between someone who was a straight white male. As it turns out, that’s how it works in real life! And, those worldview differences can create some really interest character conflicts and dynamics between those two characters.
The only problem is that this sort of stuff takes work. Now, with every story conflict that comes up, you need to take the worldview of a straight white male and the worldview of a gay black female and see how things line up differently. If you’re working at a big publisher and trying to get something out in six months, you probably don’t feel like you have time to think about these things. You’d rather just create a gay black female character because the marketing department is telling you to, and just apply the straight white male mindset to that character to get the story out on time (or worse, apply stereotypes of those characters to make it “fit”).
The worst and most ironic part of all of this is that people have been doing this with fantastic success for decades, but with fictional characters! Do you know how much horseshit has been written about the dynamics between orc and elf races? Remember the impetus of Gimli and Legolas’ dynamic across Lord of the Rings? Oh, but you can’t do the same to real demographics, can you?
As a result of shoehorning, the minority groups that are supposed to benefit from these efforts are not getting anything but dirt. These characters flop, the publisher’s PR department calls critics racists, and now the person this story was supposed to help is caught in the middle of a race war. Great work, Disney.
It’s not enough to just shoehorn diversity into a character and call it a day. We all lose when big entertainment companies fail to bring in diversity — it is possible to create well-developed characters from diverse backgrounds that are still faithful to the original story, and in cases like these everyone wins. But you have to try. It is both difficult and necessary to understand the perspectives of others who are very different from you — hopefully big entertainment will learn that soon.
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May 21, 2023
Do Not Obsess Over Your Customer. Obsess Over Your Community.
As companies continue to look for new revenue strategies, one of the most popular axioms has become that of customer obsession. But is the customer really who you should be focused on?
At first, it seems rather paradoxical. Customers are, of course, the lifeblood of any business. By focusing on their needs, businesses can focus on developing products that resonate and, therefore, are more likely to be purchased. Moreover, when customers are happy with a product, they are more likely to become loyal customers, providing a steady stream of revenue over time. This strategy, on the surface, seems to be perfect — businesses can not only increase revenue, but also build long-lasting relationships with their customers, and thus create a virtuous cycle of growth and success.
But customer obsession can be both a blessing and a curse for a company. While it is essential to listen to customer feedback to improve products and services, sometimes the obsession with satisfying every single customer demand can lead to negative consequences. When companies continue to coddle and give in to customer demands, it can cause short-term stress to employees in trying to keep up. And, when left unchecked, this approach may lead to long-run significant strategy changes just because of demands from “whale” or large revenue customers. So, striking a balance is necessary.
One way customer-obsessed firms try to achieve this balance is to identify the most demanding customers and cut them out of the equation purposely. But we hit up against the same issue — oftentimes the most demanding customers are the ones with the largest wallets. If you cut them out, revenue might drop significantly. So, is there a better way?
One potential solution to the customer-obsession paradox is to shift to a community obsession. Creating a community around a product can foster a sense of belonging and shared values, leading to a (positive) groupthink outcome. This can involve engaging with customers on social media, creating user groups or forums, and hosting events that bring customers together to share their experiences and ideas. By building a strong community, companies can not only improve customer loyalty but also gain valuable insights into their needs and preferences.
There’s two key benefits this strategy has over customer obsession. One of the benefits is that it can help to even out your “revenue risk”. By focusing on building a strong community, no single customer is given any more attention or priority than any other, and customers are generally comfortable with this approach under a community model. This can lead to a more stable and reliable source of revenue, as the success of the business is not dependent on the whims of a few key customers.
In addition to the benefit of reduced revenue risk, community obsession also creates increased customer retention, or “stickiness.” When customers are part of a community that shares a passion for a product, they are more likely to stay loyal to the brand, even if they experience minor issues with pricing or company strategy. This is because other customers who are still satisfied with the product become more visible, and if enough passionate customers are in the ecosystem then one customer will be more willing to forego whatever issues they have with the product.
That all being said, the community obsession model is not without its risks. If you make a move that could potentially upset the entire community, it can hit you much harder than if you upset one of your “whale” customers in the traditional customer-obsessed model. This is, of course, because shocks to the group cause the previous two benefits to become meaningless!
In terms of adoption, the community obsession strategy that has been proven successful in B2C markets, and has become widely adopted as the new standard. While its success in B2B markets has been a subject of more debate, some startups have started to challenge that notion. In my opinion, this strategy can be just as effective in the B2B space. After all, corporations are still made up of people, and if employees feel a sense of community and collaboration with other businesses, it can generate the same benefits I already described.
So, while customer obsession may have been the standard in the past, it’s clear that the future of marketing belongs to those who prioritize building strong, engaged communities around their brands. By doing so, you can unlock a whole new level of success and growth for your business.
Outlined and edited by Jacob Robinson, written by ChatGPT.
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May 7, 2023
Is the Four-Hour Workweek Actually Possible?
The Four-Hour Workweek is a self-help book written by Tim Ferriss, and arguably set the tone for the more hustler-oriented culture of the 2010s. In this book, Ferriss emphasizes the concept of lifestyle design, which involves designing your life in a way that allows you to have more free time and engage in activities that you enjoy — the ultimate goal of which being that titular “four-hour workweek”. But is this lifestyle design even something possible or practical for the rest of us?
The first issue with the book is that a lot of its suggestions may not be so simple if you already have a full-time job. Ferriss suggests that having a full-time job and working on lifestyle design is possible, but most of his prescriptions are not valid on this. Your employer would absolutely refuse to allow you to use a third-party virtual assistant for job tasks (honestly, virtual assistants were something that were much more trendy when the book was written anyway) , and your co-workers will likely fight back if you try to offload tasks to them in the name of “designing your lifestyle”. Moreover, most full-time jobs assume that you are at your desk from 9 to 5, even if it is remote work. For example, even if you do work for your full-time job, your boss will probably expect you to pick up a last-minute phone call or meeting with the assumption that you are ready and able at a given time. If you suddenly go off-grid, they’ll know something is up. So much for those daiquiris in Bali!
Of course, Ferriss mostly assumes you take on entrepreneurship, in which case my previous two complaints are countered. Fair enough. The problem is, however, that entrepreneurship comes with its own set of risks and challenges. For someone who might know exactly what they want to do, and are already entrepreneurial minded, this isn’t as big of an issue. But Four-Hour Workweek is meant as a prescription for everyone — after all, who wouldn’t like to spend most of their waking hours focusing on what they find important?
I won’t spend much time talking about the risks of entrepreneurship, since they are mostly known to everyone. However, I will spend some time to chide on Four-Hour specific anecdotes. Many business ideas discussed in the book, such as dropshipping, are already saturated or out of fashion. Moreover, there is no guarantee that, even if your entrepreneurial venture is a success, that it will only require ~4 hours a week — in fact, it might even require more than your old job.
At the end of the day, though, I do have to give Four-Hour Workweek some credit where credit is due. I do think, at the end of the day, that lifestyle design is possible. I just wouldn’t phrase it in perhaps the same way Ferriss did. For example, you can try combining remote work with a meeting-lite job, where the KPIs and progress is mostly project-oriented — giving you the ability to be able to automate a lot of it away. Additionally, you can work on entrepreneurship during your now cut-down full-time work and nurture it into something you can launch into fully (and less riskily) later.
And, to Ferriss’ credit, I don’t think he would write Four-Hour the same way again if given the chance. The real evergreen concept in the book is just the idea that you do not need to be tied down by traditional standards of work and career, and that is very much valid. What changes is how it all looks.
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March 17, 2023
Arc, Vivaldi, and the Next Generation of Browsers

You can see this as another review post, and in a lot of ways it is. But I also want to take this time to talk about some innovation that’s occurring in a place where you’d least expect it: the internet browser.
Recently, I decided to go “browser shopping”. I had been using base Google Chrome for a couple of years after I had switched over from Firefox, and it was pretty much the same old stuff. I didn’t mind Chrome, but if there were any improvements to the old formula, I wanted to know.
I was already familiar with the concept of the “boutique browser”. It was an idea pioneered by Opera, creating an avenue to see the browser more as a “work of art” than a mere technical resource. The plan was to inspire a level of design creativity and innovation that might invite new, exciting, permanent changes to the browser formula.
Opera made two of these boutique browsers: Neon and Vivaldi. Neon was a place for continuous experiments — a project that was “never quite done”. Vivaldi, however, was meant to be something more stable — the world’s first look at the next generation of browser.
I was there for the launch of both Vivaldi and Neon. And, to be honest, they were not all that impressive at the start. Both were bloated, ran poorly, and worst of all didn’t really have any distinct new features other than a fresh coat of paint. So, at the time, I dropped them.
What built my interest anew wasn’t any new updates or unprompted recollection of the browsers, but rather a new player all together. On the other side of the Atlantic (1), in the city of New York, a small software company was playing with the boutique browser idea to launch a browser of their own, named Arc. It was hearing about this Arc browser, and the changes it brought to the table, which made me interested in it — and also willing to give other boutique browsers a try.
Arc, as I write this, is invite-only. So after I interest for it, I had some time to kill before I could actually use the app. I decided to use this time to check out Vivaldi again.
Immediately upon using it, I realized there were some benefits that were not there on launch. One of the big reasons initially to not make the switch was because these new browsers did not have the same extension libraries that Chrome and Firefox do, many of which are essential to my workflow. Vivaldi now includes the ability to run any Chrome extension, which is a huge step up. Yet this still only puts it at the same level as Chrome.
Here’s where things get interesting — Vivaldi also includes a feature called web panels. Web panels are almost “extension-likes” — for example, if you wanted to “clip” a page without there being an official extension, you can simply bookmark your database as a web panel, then any time you find a website to clip you can grab the data right then and there. It might not be as simple as an extension, but it’s still a step up from the old “make another tab and start from the beginning” formula.
Vivaldi also hosts a notable amount of miscellaneous built-in features. With Vivaldi Mail you can combine your emails together into an in-browser email viewer, with Vivaldi Notes you can write notes in the margins of websites (2), and with Vivaldi Translate you can easily highlight a sentence and have it translated for you then and there. These features are not what I would call “essential”, but they also are not bloated (i.e. they don’t effect load times and UI-wise are relatively hidden/easy to hide) and do serve a net positive benefit.
The benefits of Vivaldi, ultimately, were enough to get me to switch over. Which was a bad sign for Arc, who had just finally given me access after I had already decided on a new browser. It also didn’t help that Arc was Mac exclusive, and I only had a single Macbook Air in an otherwise sea of Windows and Android products.
However, when I finally got to try Arc, I noticed something rather interesting. While Arc would’ve been just as mindblowing if I had gone straight from Chrome, in comparison to Vivaldi it was rather the same! I don’t mean this in a derogatory way — Arc’s focus on design makes it much prettier than Vivaldi’s more pragmatic approach, plus there are still new features we will get into — but rather it gives the sign of changing times. This wasn’t just Vivaldi — this was the next-generation browser.
From what I can tell, a next-generation browser (Vivaldi, Arc, Brave) is defined by the following: built-in ad and tracker blocking (all of them appear to have this to some degree), easy access to “create your own widgets” (Vivaldi has web panels, Arc has split view) and built-in tools that help the browser become more of a central point in your workflow.
On this built-in tools point, Arc doesn’t have anything like Vivaldi Mail or Notes, but it does have the Arc Canvas. Arc Canvas is an “infinite canvas” widget, similar to something like Miro or the whiteboard on Canva. In addition, it has a rather nice “file access” widget, which allows you to look at your recent files and drag and drop them into upload spaces when needed.
So, to round this out — how do next-gen browsers stack up to the old faithful? I definitely think there is some level of bloat — if I’m not going to pick Vivaldi Mail over Apple Mail, or Arc Canvas over OneNote, then these features just become tacked on buttons to avoid. That being said, this used to be a much bigger issue back in the day than it is now. There’s no slowdown issues because of these new tools, and its usually pretty easy to hide the stuff you’re never gonna use. So, overall, I’d say we’re beginning to step in the right direction when it comes to finally innovating the browser.
(1) Opera is based in Oslo, Norway.
(2) As I was writing this, Google announced they were adding a very similar feature to Chrome. I imagine they will slowly start to add other next-gen browser ideas as well.
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