Asa Rodriguez's Blog, page 21

Connections

Trust

Trust is very important in any relationship. That feeling of security. That feeling of safety to express how you think and feel to your loved one without being ridiculed or put down.

But trust, of course, begins with you. You must become trustworthy first, show others that you respect how they think and feel, even if you have different opinions. And this takes practice.

Practice

Whenever you feel like arguing what someone thinks and feels, stop yourself, pay attention to the anxiety in your mind to defend your views, and relax while reminding yourself that it is not a competition and that the other person only seeks to be heard.

Challenging, but a practice needed to strengthen our characters and build stronger connections in our relationships. To make people feel accepted and valued. After all, we all seek to feel accepted and valued.

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What it takes

Believing in yourself

As a human being doing my best, as an indie author especially, I understand how hard it is to believe in yourself. Sometimes I doubt myself, my art, the way I do things; because life is challenging, and that is exactly the journey. Sometimes one may look at others and feel inferior or intimidated.

Some other times it could be that others around us are not conducive to a positive and supportive atmosphere. But one must look past these, focus on oneself, and tell ourselves to keep going no matter what; because that is what it takes to make it, thus constant self-belief.

A reason to believe

It is the most important thing. Each day. A reason to believe in yourself. Prove to yourself how worthy you are, because love is an action towards yourself. Work on your body’s health. On your mind. Schedule times to work on your craft. Strengthen your capacity for reading. Seek to bring more value to you.

The #1 reason why people fail in self-belief is due to focusing on the achievements of others, on how others are doing. But if you have strong talents, if you focus entirely on your own growth, then there is no time for procrastination and focusing on others. I struggle with this sometimes, but I remind myself of my own strengths to conquer even the struggle. It is my wish that you too remind yourself of this.

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Stories…

Life

One of the most interesting things in life, to me at least, is just that, life itself, how it develops from seemingly nothing to something more and more. From nothingness into a fetus, and from a fetus into an adult.

It is in fact why I created Shadow. Ben’s shadow, who is a magical creature in the infant or early child stage, and who is the 2nd main character in my dark fantasy series BENJAMIN JONES.

Stories in life

Stories are what shape us. Each day in our heads we tell ourselves something, whether positive or negative. So, whatever you tell yourself is what counts. Would you allow yourself to be miserable because the situations in your life don’t match your expectations??

Or would you keep positive even in the face of loss and sad events in your life?? Shadow is a positive character in the series, even silly and childish at times; but that is because he represents the love, the innocence, the curiosity in Ben.

So, he was born from magic and in the image of Ben. Shadow is his shadow. And that is what your life is, a shadow, a projection of your attitudes and character in life. Because, again, stories shape us. So choose your story carefully each day.

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The small things

Love unites

Everything that changes with time and evolution is external. The rest, the inner is about choices. Love can unite people all their lives, just as long as you choose love by focusing on the small details in regards to you, to your partner, to life.

If the mind is to deviate from the small things in life, then it will fall under chaos–it will fall into frustration, worry, and into the illusion of the changing external. (Become highly aware of this to avoid all kinds of problems.)

All mental health and connection

And then, when in chaos, anger appears, and mental distortions and all obsessions appear, and separation from your true self and from your loved one appear. That is why the heart of all mental health and connection lies not in what you see but in what you cannot.

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Dark/Epic Fantasy

“Jesus, buddy! What’re you doing?!” The sleeping willow woke up and said to Adit. “This could be considered as abuse. Hands off!”

“What is happening here?!” Ben shrieked loudly.

Benjamin Jones thought he could be losing his mind. Once, he’d been so rational about life, but since this quest had started he was questioning life more and more. Magic was all around him here. And now he was beginning to understand how crazy this could be.

Coming-of-age fantasy

This adventure is about the spiritual and magical journey of a 12-year-old orphan boy who learns he’s a shaman. He does not believe in himself at first, but with the help of his friend and spiritual guru he starts on a journey of self-discovery to find his relationship to an ancient Sumerian demigod and to find out who took his parents.

A dark fantasy

The boy goes through much self-doubt and fear. Many voices in his head. He can see ghouls. There’s a necromancer after him. He feels cursed. This adventure is focused on describing his inner world, how he thinks and feels, his fears and joys. I want Ben to take life of his own in your mind. Because is not just about the paranormal and the magic per se, but also about his journey as a person just like any of us.

Start the journey for FREE:

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Alone time

Time for ourselves

Sometimes one needs a break from social media, from friends, from family, from work. And just sometimes the key is in taking care of yourself by seeking to be by yourself, alone with your thoughts. Relaxing. Maybe pondering your life and what you really want out of it. Perhaps meditating on your habits and actions.

All this alone time, all this inner seeking can lead you to great ideas and insights about yourself and about the direction your life is taking. Time for ourselves is the best use of our time, because it helps us grow as human beings, because it guides us into being more mature and wise individuals.

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Social media

A blessing and a curse

Social media is a blessing. We can communicate with the world through a computer or phone. We can gain knowledge into other cultures and traditions. We can find out events, news around the world easily and whenever we want. We can help others who live far away even.

But, truth is, it can also be a curse. We can be robbed of our money or fooled by professional scammers. We can be a target for trolls and bullies. We can lose much of our privacy. And the worst, at least for me, we can lose time with distractions instead of focusing on the work that matters most to us.

Scheduling time

I think this disguises itself, but deep inside it’s a real problem. Sometimes social media can be draining of our time, of our energy, of our desires. Sometimes the time lost on social media could’ve been better used to do other things that need our attention–like family time, like working on hobbies, like work, like outdoor activities, etc.

I think a good schedule, a good order should steer us in a good direction. Scheduling can bring discipline into our lives, maybe more productivity and passion for something that matters more than checking what our friends are doing on Twitter or Facebook.

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Simple things…

The simplicity of things

Nothing beats the simple idea. Sometimes we put a lot of pressure on ourselves and think of the perfect gesture, or a great idea, or some specific way to think about something. Many times we complicate things and confuse and frustrate ourselves even more.

But most of the time what counts is the start of something, and that start should be simple. In simplicity we can envision better what we truly want. In simplicity lies the journey of understanding, because simplicity makes it easier and clearer for our minds to grasp our direction in life.

The journey must be simple

If it’s too complicated, the mind loses interest. For example, if someone starts exercise for the first time and it is too much too soon, then that someone will end up frustrating himself and quitting.

Or if someone likes someone else romantically and starts thinking of grand gestures and formulas to “show love”, then that someone will probably end up either scaring the other person or end up frustrated with himself.

Always simplicity. Think of little steps. Master patience. Life, and all the great events happening in it, is about persistence. Persistence means belief in yourself, in your capacity to achieve your passions and desires, to keep going steady, faithfully.

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Going up

That’s how you know…

When things are not going as expected in life is because we need the current experience. In order for things to get better your mind must reach a point of understanding even in the struggle. It is how we know, when things are not going as we want; because things are getting ready for the shift, energy is clearing out.

Life is like a rollercoaster. Up and down. Up and down. In order for knowledge and understanding to be absorbed the mind must let go from fear of the ride. The ride is not always going to stay down, but it is building momentum to go up. You, of course, must be ready to go up.

Going up…

Going up is a state of mind, first and foremost. The mind makes up your reality, which means your mind must embrace a new reality to shift your understanding and for things to change. Even if you inherit a million dollars, you can be depressed and hate your life. Because beyond all the loads of money you have now, your mindset has not shifted.

So, going up starts with the shift of your mindset. You want a better life, one where you feel loved and happy, confident and successful?? Then your mind must let go from the negative mentality, and from the self-pity, and from the complaining you do now. Again, going up is a powerful mental state you have to reach first.

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Like a brain tumor…

People pretend

Don’t feel bad, out of place, weird, if you don’t really like what others like. The truth is that most people in this world, especially some of us men, pretend to like or love something. They pretend because they seek to belong to a group in society, they are scared to be themselves so they ignore who they really are just to fit in.

They lie to themselves. Pretending is a way to neglect who you really are deep inside, and this manifests as many psychic disturbances even as they don’t know it. One gets angry easily. One gets frustrated easily. One becomes depressed easily. And many clinical anomalies as well appear.

Reach deep within

So, you can see how unhealthy it is. Pretending is the disease that many ignore because it festers in the subconscious like a tumor in the brain–slowly and in secrecy until it becomes a big problem. The brave and real among us must then reach deep within us and be ourselves entirely in order to remain healthy, boost confidence, and be truly happy with who we are.