Asa Rodriguez's Blog, page 16

The growth of love

Respect & Commitment

Love is experienced by our minds as a process, and it must be respected and given time to bloom under nature’s law. Love only requires 2 main components from you: Respect and commitment to make it grow.

Respect the process

Rushing into it doesn’t really help it grow. Love in relationships is like a muscle: If you go to the gym a few times, you won’t see results because the muscle fibers are working under your skin.

But if you faithfuly stick to your gym routine weeks or months, you will start to see results because now you can see your actual biceps growing. So, quiet your anxious mind and respect the process, then remain committed to the task of growing that affection, that love.

How it conquers all

Even the most heartbroken, depressed and shy among us can grow love. It is for anybody willing to respect its process and commit to it. Persist through the tough times, through the moments of self-doubt, through the anxiety and panic your mind creates at times. That is how true love becomes stronger and conquers all.

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Mental routines…

Mental routine and depressive states

One of the greatest, and also most tragic, things of the mind is that it creates a routine, it gets used to a thought, a feel, a lifestyle. So, it happens that if you are raised a certain way, or told you’re not good enough, then your mind will start making it a reality for you.

Or if you lose someone important for you, and the people around you only bring you down and do not try to help you out of depression, your mind will get used to it and spread this depressive state and make you negative in other aspects of life.

And if you are deceived, treated unfairly, cheated on a relationship, then your mind will make you feel ugly, or worthless, or like you have no meaning; and it will make you afraid of other people, distrusful, and even negative regarding a future life.

Change your mental routine

Is love something only somebody else can give me?? Is my worth really given to me by my parents, by academic education, by my past relationships, by the established norms in society?? Why do I actually think and feel the way I do?? Do I constantly feed my self-pity??

What is the point of remaining in this self-victimization state, and how is it helping me to be truly happy and feel successful?? Ask yourself these questions daily. You need only to answer them with honesty and without bias. If you do, then you will rewire your brain and free your mind from the negative routine to thus create a new and better one.

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Some Tips for Submitting Your Writing on reddit

Heartless Creatures

reddit is great.

As an aspiring author, I finally joined Twitter, set up a special Facebook account and email account, and almost on a lark, joined reddit.

I’m so glad I did.

Think of the groups you’ve joined on Facebook. reddit is kind of like that, but redittors seem more intelligent, and it’s easier to set up your own group, known as a subreddit. Except you’re not subject to Facebook notifications asking you to spend money and promote your group / profile. There are, yes, a few ads on reddit, but not that many. Plus, no clickbait.

I joined a number of different writing groups, and submitted the first chapter of my book Gay Bargain-Basement Hitman.

And I’m so glad I did.

I received excellent constructive comments, as well as my favorite overall comment, “It looks pretty well-written. I read the whole thing, which I rarely do.”

Success! Validation!…

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To your advantage…

Beginning the journey

We enter this world empty. The baby does not know his purpose and he doesn’t know about this life. As he grows up, through trial and error, he discovers many things about how to be, how to act, even how to think and feel.

But this shouldn’t stop him from looking into himself once he is an adult. As this adult, he is on his own, so he should master himself, or at least begin his journey to self-mastery. If true love and happiness is to bloom inside him, then life requires him to stop following the influence of the world and look into himself.

Using what you find within

And looking into oneself then can be scary, or it can bring you some discomfort. I know that my childhood, my youth growing up wasn’t perfect; so I lived many losses, heartbreaks and painful things. Sometimes looking inside oneself as an adult can move and bring to the surface all that pain or burden that we have from childhood.

All the hidden, subconscious trauma and personal issues we may carry around. But to get better, to heal, to move on and better your life, you must dig all this and bring it to the surface of your conscious so you can use it as strength. Painful trauma, or any negative memory we carry, is energy. Knowing how to use this energy to our advantage is the responsibility of each one of us.

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Finding purpose

The whole purpose

Sometimes we became aware of things later in life. Sometimes it takes years, even decades, for a person to discover his passion, his goals, what he really wants to pursue and work with great commitment. Sometimes life is truly difficult for us growing up, and so we discover our true strengths and capacities when we are older and more mature.

But this is just learning and discovering ourselves. At different levels, it happens to any one of us. It is the whole purpose of living. So, there is really no age number, no definite moment, to pursue your passions in life. The worst mistake you can make is to belittle yourself and say that you can’t because you’re too old, or because you have other responsibilities, or because the people around you doesn’t support you.

Finding and feeling joy and inspiration

Granted, one should always pursue with caution, with intelligence, and without being impulsive. First and foremost, one must pursue with maturity and thinking what is the best for our current lives. I, for example, became a published author in my late 30s. In my late 30s then, after much research, I discovered my strengths regarding to creative writing.

So, I blended fantasy with spirituality in my books, because I want to entertain people but also guide or help people with the burdens of life. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that one should always stop oneself, search deep inside, and find whatever inspires you and fills you with passion. It’s not about money alone, but it’s about finding and feeling joy and inspiration in what you do.

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The best medicine

Developing a greater trait

One of the greatest traits to develop in life, which serves you in any aspect, is laughter, being able to find the positive, even the silly in life. Seeing your own troubles and challenges in life, even your painful past, with a little optimistic sense while you put effort in smiling is of the brave and intelligent.

Help them feel safer

Relationships, especially, require a positive outlook and a calmer mind from you. When problems arise, or when something is argued, the mind must remain calm and get rid of the chaos and anxiety to see a better way, a positive way. Besides, when your partner, or the people around you, sees you more calm, with a comical disposition, then they feel safer around you.

Developing inner strength

Every tension in our bodies is a slow killer, it makes us worry and fall ill, which is why it’s said that laughter is the best medicine. It really is. To be able to allow insults, frustration, anger, contradicting beliefs, to just wash over us. It is about inner strength, and about developing that inner strength further; and for this we must let go of any tension and drama.

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Learning from 2022

Reflecting about what was…

This year is coming to an end. How was your year..?? What do you feel you’ve accomplished…?? What are your regrets, if any…?? What have you learned…?? I am starting to ask myself questions like these, because I feel that it is wise to reflect on my past and realize new things about 2022 to better start 2023. I’m all about self-development. I enjoy the challenge of growth.

Learning from what was…

Learning is a priviledge, and also a personal choice. You have to choose to look at the past with an open and positive mind to find the lesson (and you have to believe there is a lesson there). Perhaps it was difficult or painful, so one must be brave and committed to better oneself. I personally find confidence and inner strength as I learn from my past instead of ignoring it or running away from it.

Being humble about what was…

Humility is key. Because to learn from pain, mistakes, or something lived, we must accept first that we can learn, that maybe we don’t know or understand everything. Allow the ego to let go, so the mind can grow. And for this, obviously, we need patience and a quiet mind. If the mind seeks these loud excuses then we cannot learn. And if the mind is anxious with excuses then patience is not.

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About loneliness…

Feeling lonely

When someone feels lonely is really because that person feels empty, even without knowing it, which means an intimate, individual purpose is lacking. See, loneliness does not come from an empty home, or from no people around, or from no special someone in your life.

Individual purpose

Loneliness comes because there is no real intimacy with yourself, which means your inner communication, kind and inspirational self-talk is not there. Try occupying your time to fix this, creating a personal purpose that does not involve others, designing daily behaviors that bring you more health of body and mind.

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Something special…

Something personal (very special)

Intelligence is something personal, something you develop, and it has little to do with any education. Education is learning the already established knowledge in society and in your family’s traditions and beliefs. Intelligence comes with personal observation.

Intelligence goes far beyond knowledge. Intelligence requires sensitivity, the capacity to project yourself into the experience of somebody else (great empathy), which, obviously, is something knowledge does not give you.

The many in society (not special)

Knowledge helps you thrive in society, because the systems in it are based on knowledge, on how to do this and that to climb to the top levels (it offers the achievement of pleasures). The systems in society are rigid, so it is just about following and copying, going to school and allowing influences out there to guide you through the systems.

Nothing special about knowledge. But intelligence is calmly, personally observing, instead of just reacting and answering through the knowledge and beliefs you have acquired. It is why most people lack intelligence. And it is why intelligence belongs only to the few and not to the many.

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After loss & heartbreak

The greatest miracle

One of the best things to discover in life is the fact that you can heal yourself. To realize that you can continue, that you can have a purpose, that you can value yourself much more, especially after loss and heartbreak. This is the greatest miracle, to find this truth in yourself. But how do you do it, or how do you find this truth in you when all you feel is pain..??

Letting go

Well, you find it by making your mind less noisy, less jugmental, less anxious, less focused on the world and the drama. I am talking about letting go of the ego which is always seeking self-pity, and always reminding you of your past hurt, and always giving you fears to start a new, exciting chapter in your life–fears of repeating the past.

A new, better mindset

See, your mindset will create your life moving forward. So, if your mind is filled by this ego, which always brings up the hurtful past and keeps you in fear, then you will only envision more hurt and disappointment for your future. But if your mind can practice, with each thought you have, self-awareness and thus let go of this weak mind state, then your very mindset will change and become stronger in time.

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