E. Jean Simpson's Blog: A & J PEI Treasures/E Jean Simpson, BEd, BA, MA, page 2
July 29, 2023
Finding Peace in the Modern Age
Hi and Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson Author Blog Post and Podcast. I’m your host, Jean coming to you from the beautiful Province of Prince Edward Island, Canada!! The blog post and podcast is an opinion piece and only reflects this author’s opinion and not that of any other entity. I hold no designations in politics, economics or medicine. I am retired from the mental health field. I am a humanitarian and speak from that viewpoint only. Whether you agree with me or not, at least I hope it makes you think. This week I look at how I find peace in the modern age. If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…!
First, we need to define what peace I am talking about. Merriam-Webster has several different definitions of peace which encompasses everything from absence of war to a state of tranquility or calmness to legal and even harmony in personal relations (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dicti...). The one I intend to deal with is “in a state of concord or tranquility”. It is the state of calmness that one can achieve. This sort of quietness can allow one to think and to deal with things in a better way. I think often we react with our ‘gut’ rather than reacting with forethought. There are of course times and place for both kind of thinking. No solution is perfect for all situations. When I am in a situation where I find myself wondering if my reaction will do more harm than good, I find myself sometimes having to step away and think about what I want to say. This is neither good nor bad in and of itself. I have found that most of the time, most especially when my anger is triggered, when I just want to react, I tend to mess up what I intend to say. It’s seldom what I mean to say that comes out with just reacting. I’ve tried to become more cognizant of it. When unsure what to say at the time, I sometimes just step away for a time and think about what it is I want to say. I find it makes me better able to make the point. Sometimes I also think of something I would have been happier to say…and tend to add on to statements. I’m not talking about joking around stuff or being funny. I’m talking about the stuff that hits you where you live. For me, that has become intolerance and hate of all sorts. I also know that my path is not meant to be walked in anything other than love. Any time I fall from the path or stumble on it, I feel it. I’ve never been one to put on an act and was never any good at it. I’m much happier when I don’t try to be anything other than who I am.
Knowing those things makes me more mindful of my path and that I tend to react to certain triggers. Sometimes they do take over. I also observe those around me. Often people get caught in the net of anger. They respond to situations in the very same way that others on the other side of the argument are using. It doesn’t finish the argument. In fact, it complicates it. Slinging mud only ends up making everything dirty. I think since having to retire and with COVID, I’ve had more time to consider philosophical ideals and to play with concepts. Worse, I find I quite enjoy it and am always happy to see ideas that I can play with. I find that I can fine tune what it is I believe.
I’m going to be honest about this. On a regular basis, things become too chaotic. I am affected by things in the everyday world. I have never been amazing at filtering out stuff. Auditory is worse for me. I tend to hear everything and anything or it becomes a steady hum when I’m out. My illnesses, if anything have made me less well-prepared to filter out things. In general, it seems people tend to filter out some things and not others. It is not a talent I am particularly in possession of. The world is full of so much information. It is a continual place of input and output. The technical marvels that allow more information into our lives tend to be the ever changing panoply that confronts us on a daily basis. I’ve narrowed my input by choosing various things to bookmark and this does narrow my interactions somewhat. On the other hand, it is one way that I keep from flying off the earth in all directions. I keep a loose schedule which gives some routine.
Now when it comes to finding peace, there are so many different suggestions online and in the world in general. This article gives some ideas. https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-.... Of course you can all guess that my favourite one is the ‘get back to nature’ suggestion from the article. Not to say that the other ideas don’t have merit, just that I have always favoured this when given the choice. I’ve always been drawn to the sea, water, ocean, rivers, flowers and nature in general. My top draw is anything that smells like the sea. This does explain my location. When I am starting to fray around the edges, the best cure for me is a trip to anywhere that I can smell sea air. It clears my head, fills me back up, and grounds me. I can breathe in the sea air, hear or watch water birds, watch the aquatic life. Of course I can get the same benefits sitting outside at home, it just takes longer. We’re off the main road a little so there isn’t a lot of steady traffic. However, the ocean or the river near our home (salt based) is the heavy duty clearing of negativity for me and can bring me peace. I don’t need it specifically, but I do prefer it.
I sometimes forget the healing properties of ocean and nature. We all have that kind of issue, we forget that we need to take time for ourselves and just breathe. We forget that we need to find things that will heal us from the day to day chaos. It is so easy to forget with all the many distractions in day to day life. People often forget their path, forget themselves, who they want to be and forget what heals them. It is all part of being human. The world seems to encourage the quick fix. It also encourages people to communicate in superficial ways. We hear a lot about wanting people to be real. Some people think it is how you react at a certain specific time and decide that people don’t really want that. It is not exactly that and it is thinking so that makes for a lot of confusion about the merits or demerits associated with being real. If you have a bad day, you don’t suddenly stop being who you are. I think an important part of finding peace is being real. It doesn’t always mean everything you think popping out of your mouth. Sometimes it is having some self-discipline in how you reply. You need to be real, If not with others, at least with yourself. Real does not mean rude, nor does it mean getting to do harm. In my path, harming none is one of the highest ideals. I found an article that encompasses what I think it means to be real. It isn’t a daily change in how you act based on mood. That would be the easy and fast fix and not a fix at all. The quote is as follows: “So, what does it mean to be real? Being real means knowing yourself and being comfortable in your own skin. Being real means being honest about your marvelousness and sharing it, as well as being honest about your flaws and working hard to overcome them. Being real means owning and accepting who you are and who you can be.” https://www.rachelbeohm.com/what-does.... It’s also important that you be honest about what you can and can’t accept and owning that as well. It does no good to blame other groups for what you do or don’t like. I see that happen too. I see it revert to blame and often toward minority groups because there is something they don’t like. It is OK to dislike something, it’s not OK to blame others, put down others or try to harm others based on something you do not like. This is where giving away ownership of your issues can be disastrous or at the very least harmful. One of my favourite saying is something to do with it being a ‘me thing’ when I don’t like something. I’m clear I don’t like it, it’s my issue and I don’t necessarily expect other people to have the same issue. I just follow what fits for me. Just because I don’t like something doesn’t mean someone else shouldn’t. Each person must follow their own path. I will make some modifications to what I will say if I am concerned about danger to another. Otherwise, there are things I do and don’t do, but it isn’t the fault of anyone. It is just my way.
I think part of finding peace is taking a little time to learn who you are. Sometimes there are so many people who think they know who you are that it gets hard to separate things out. You cannot live your life based on the opinions of others. One would be afraid to move. People only see what is presented to them and it isn’t always perfect. It can be difficult to look inside oneself and look and see who you are. It can be difficult to admit your faults and to see your positives too and the hardest to do so within yourself. Try it sometime. Try to think about yourself, both your faults and your positives…you don’t have to have a huge list...even just a few things will prove the point. If you don’t feel a bit of discomfort, you’ve reached a higher level than most. We are taught that to be humble means to ignore yourself, but this is not part of the package either. We need to better define who we are and that might be slightly different with different people. Our needs can differ from day to day. Who we are and what we can do can have some fluidity. Sometimes we don’t feel strong and other days we feel we can conquer the world. It is a bit of an overstatement, but I’m just pointing out that some days we don’t feel we know who we are and other days we feel more solid. It is normal human emotion and we’re not always perfectly attuned within ourselves nor with each other. Eventually things will work out. We have to believe this.
I think it is also important to understand that there are various levels to life and to relationships. The main purpose, at least in my world view, is as the Dali Lama is quoted with saying, “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” I think sometimes the most important skill one can develop is forgiveness, but not forgiveness arbitrarily. It is, of course, not just with regard to people, but also with regard to nature and our environment. Sometimes people make mistakes and the hardest thing is to forgive themselves for them. With this kind of forgiveness, we can, over time, find some degree of peace within ourselves and with others.
Can you imagine if there were committed groups of people who believed that “If you have a common purpose and an environment in which people want to help others succeed, the problems will be fixed quickly.” By Alan Mulally. I think the word quickly might have to be qualified because there are problems that will take time to solve, but overall the statement has a great deal of validity. We might all move a little closer to finding inner and outer peace if we had support for ourselves and each other and the world in general. I will end this blog post with a quote credited to River Phoenix “Run to the rescue with love, and peace will follow.” There is always magic in love and in peace. Magic or miracles can be found everywhere in the natural world. We just have to open our eyes to see them. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
First, we need to define what peace I am talking about. Merriam-Webster has several different definitions of peace which encompasses everything from absence of war to a state of tranquility or calmness to legal and even harmony in personal relations (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dicti...). The one I intend to deal with is “in a state of concord or tranquility”. It is the state of calmness that one can achieve. This sort of quietness can allow one to think and to deal with things in a better way. I think often we react with our ‘gut’ rather than reacting with forethought. There are of course times and place for both kind of thinking. No solution is perfect for all situations. When I am in a situation where I find myself wondering if my reaction will do more harm than good, I find myself sometimes having to step away and think about what I want to say. This is neither good nor bad in and of itself. I have found that most of the time, most especially when my anger is triggered, when I just want to react, I tend to mess up what I intend to say. It’s seldom what I mean to say that comes out with just reacting. I’ve tried to become more cognizant of it. When unsure what to say at the time, I sometimes just step away for a time and think about what it is I want to say. I find it makes me better able to make the point. Sometimes I also think of something I would have been happier to say…and tend to add on to statements. I’m not talking about joking around stuff or being funny. I’m talking about the stuff that hits you where you live. For me, that has become intolerance and hate of all sorts. I also know that my path is not meant to be walked in anything other than love. Any time I fall from the path or stumble on it, I feel it. I’ve never been one to put on an act and was never any good at it. I’m much happier when I don’t try to be anything other than who I am.
Knowing those things makes me more mindful of my path and that I tend to react to certain triggers. Sometimes they do take over. I also observe those around me. Often people get caught in the net of anger. They respond to situations in the very same way that others on the other side of the argument are using. It doesn’t finish the argument. In fact, it complicates it. Slinging mud only ends up making everything dirty. I think since having to retire and with COVID, I’ve had more time to consider philosophical ideals and to play with concepts. Worse, I find I quite enjoy it and am always happy to see ideas that I can play with. I find that I can fine tune what it is I believe.
I’m going to be honest about this. On a regular basis, things become too chaotic. I am affected by things in the everyday world. I have never been amazing at filtering out stuff. Auditory is worse for me. I tend to hear everything and anything or it becomes a steady hum when I’m out. My illnesses, if anything have made me less well-prepared to filter out things. In general, it seems people tend to filter out some things and not others. It is not a talent I am particularly in possession of. The world is full of so much information. It is a continual place of input and output. The technical marvels that allow more information into our lives tend to be the ever changing panoply that confronts us on a daily basis. I’ve narrowed my input by choosing various things to bookmark and this does narrow my interactions somewhat. On the other hand, it is one way that I keep from flying off the earth in all directions. I keep a loose schedule which gives some routine.
Now when it comes to finding peace, there are so many different suggestions online and in the world in general. This article gives some ideas. https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-.... Of course you can all guess that my favourite one is the ‘get back to nature’ suggestion from the article. Not to say that the other ideas don’t have merit, just that I have always favoured this when given the choice. I’ve always been drawn to the sea, water, ocean, rivers, flowers and nature in general. My top draw is anything that smells like the sea. This does explain my location. When I am starting to fray around the edges, the best cure for me is a trip to anywhere that I can smell sea air. It clears my head, fills me back up, and grounds me. I can breathe in the sea air, hear or watch water birds, watch the aquatic life. Of course I can get the same benefits sitting outside at home, it just takes longer. We’re off the main road a little so there isn’t a lot of steady traffic. However, the ocean or the river near our home (salt based) is the heavy duty clearing of negativity for me and can bring me peace. I don’t need it specifically, but I do prefer it.
I sometimes forget the healing properties of ocean and nature. We all have that kind of issue, we forget that we need to take time for ourselves and just breathe. We forget that we need to find things that will heal us from the day to day chaos. It is so easy to forget with all the many distractions in day to day life. People often forget their path, forget themselves, who they want to be and forget what heals them. It is all part of being human. The world seems to encourage the quick fix. It also encourages people to communicate in superficial ways. We hear a lot about wanting people to be real. Some people think it is how you react at a certain specific time and decide that people don’t really want that. It is not exactly that and it is thinking so that makes for a lot of confusion about the merits or demerits associated with being real. If you have a bad day, you don’t suddenly stop being who you are. I think an important part of finding peace is being real. It doesn’t always mean everything you think popping out of your mouth. Sometimes it is having some self-discipline in how you reply. You need to be real, If not with others, at least with yourself. Real does not mean rude, nor does it mean getting to do harm. In my path, harming none is one of the highest ideals. I found an article that encompasses what I think it means to be real. It isn’t a daily change in how you act based on mood. That would be the easy and fast fix and not a fix at all. The quote is as follows: “So, what does it mean to be real? Being real means knowing yourself and being comfortable in your own skin. Being real means being honest about your marvelousness and sharing it, as well as being honest about your flaws and working hard to overcome them. Being real means owning and accepting who you are and who you can be.” https://www.rachelbeohm.com/what-does.... It’s also important that you be honest about what you can and can’t accept and owning that as well. It does no good to blame other groups for what you do or don’t like. I see that happen too. I see it revert to blame and often toward minority groups because there is something they don’t like. It is OK to dislike something, it’s not OK to blame others, put down others or try to harm others based on something you do not like. This is where giving away ownership of your issues can be disastrous or at the very least harmful. One of my favourite saying is something to do with it being a ‘me thing’ when I don’t like something. I’m clear I don’t like it, it’s my issue and I don’t necessarily expect other people to have the same issue. I just follow what fits for me. Just because I don’t like something doesn’t mean someone else shouldn’t. Each person must follow their own path. I will make some modifications to what I will say if I am concerned about danger to another. Otherwise, there are things I do and don’t do, but it isn’t the fault of anyone. It is just my way.
I think part of finding peace is taking a little time to learn who you are. Sometimes there are so many people who think they know who you are that it gets hard to separate things out. You cannot live your life based on the opinions of others. One would be afraid to move. People only see what is presented to them and it isn’t always perfect. It can be difficult to look inside oneself and look and see who you are. It can be difficult to admit your faults and to see your positives too and the hardest to do so within yourself. Try it sometime. Try to think about yourself, both your faults and your positives…you don’t have to have a huge list...even just a few things will prove the point. If you don’t feel a bit of discomfort, you’ve reached a higher level than most. We are taught that to be humble means to ignore yourself, but this is not part of the package either. We need to better define who we are and that might be slightly different with different people. Our needs can differ from day to day. Who we are and what we can do can have some fluidity. Sometimes we don’t feel strong and other days we feel we can conquer the world. It is a bit of an overstatement, but I’m just pointing out that some days we don’t feel we know who we are and other days we feel more solid. It is normal human emotion and we’re not always perfectly attuned within ourselves nor with each other. Eventually things will work out. We have to believe this.
I think it is also important to understand that there are various levels to life and to relationships. The main purpose, at least in my world view, is as the Dali Lama is quoted with saying, “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” I think sometimes the most important skill one can develop is forgiveness, but not forgiveness arbitrarily. It is, of course, not just with regard to people, but also with regard to nature and our environment. Sometimes people make mistakes and the hardest thing is to forgive themselves for them. With this kind of forgiveness, we can, over time, find some degree of peace within ourselves and with others.
Can you imagine if there were committed groups of people who believed that “If you have a common purpose and an environment in which people want to help others succeed, the problems will be fixed quickly.” By Alan Mulally. I think the word quickly might have to be qualified because there are problems that will take time to solve, but overall the statement has a great deal of validity. We might all move a little closer to finding inner and outer peace if we had support for ourselves and each other and the world in general. I will end this blog post with a quote credited to River Phoenix “Run to the rescue with love, and peace will follow.” There is always magic in love and in peace. Magic or miracles can be found everywhere in the natural world. We just have to open our eyes to see them. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
July 22, 2023
Something So Simple
Hi and Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson Author Blog Post and Podcast. I’m your host, Jean coming to you from the beautiful Province of Prince Edward Island, Canada!! The blog post and podcast is an opinion piece and only reflects this author’s opinion and not that of any other entity. I hold no designations in politics, economics or medicine. I am retired from the mental health field. I am a humanitarian and speak from that viewpoint only. Whether you agree with me or not, at least I hope it makes you think. This week I talk about the need to ‘smell the roses along the way’ and why sometimes I feel the need for a little more simplicity in life. If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…!
I’ve been trying to come up with a blog post topic as is my custom on Wednesdays and it suddenly occurred to me that I’m missing the simple angle. Life has gotten complicated by all the daily stuff. It’s been complicated by lack in tolerance and the everyday battles as we continue to try to move forward with the cacophony of voices that try to send us flying off our paths. Some are positive, some are negative and some just want to create some disharmony. As Dale Carnegie is credited with saying, “We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.” Today’s walk with the dog, I focused on the flowers. I took pictures and enjoyed their beauty. I find it most satisfying to be out in the summer, despite the mosquitoes and just enjoying nature. It is the most simple, yet complex joy one can experience. People are so bound by convention and by the rules of the society to which they belong that they tend to miss the beauty that is around them every day. It comes in many forms, a flower, a smile, even a flash of memory. I think our computerized era has lost something important which is experiencing our own senses and life. It makes for less connecting on the human level, though we don’t comprehend it. We tend to be so busy trying to be something or do something that we fail to see what is right in front of our eyes. Nature is beautiful and soothing. So many different colours and shapes and scents are involved. We miss the multitude of levels that make up life while trying to make a life. We miss the various levels of existence and the beauty of our daily life and the life around us. It is this concept of everything as sacred that would help lead us away from the intolerance and prejudices that we see on social media, in the media in general and follows where ever we go.
I was rather surprised to see how many different articles try to tell you how to enjoy life more. After having read through a few, I found myself feeling annoyed. They literally sound like fortune cookies. Meet new people, push past your comfort level. These are all things that just continue to push for things that are attainable, but don’t give you much room to find joy in the most simple of things both within and outside of oneself. I don’t argue their importance in life as those ideals have importance too. I just was hoping to find something more and perhaps I didn’t do the right search for what I was looking for. Perhaps I am trying to oversimplify. But, for me, walking outside and sitting in the outside allows one to experience self-hood. It allows one to experience spiritual insignificance of self. Yes insignificance. Significance is what everyone feels they have to obtain. Here is the reason I rather experience insignificance, with the earth and all its many inhabitants, there are so many, so varied and all different that you see yourself as but one part of the whole and not the whole. It allows one to become humbler. There is so much going on around you in the world that you can become one with the surroundings. You can smell the flowers; hear the sound of the hummingbirds zooming back and forth to the feeder and any number of things going on with insects and other creatures. They are all part of the microcosm and macrocosm that is the natural world. You can hear the song of the wind whispering through the branches, the birds chirping and singing. There is a ritual to nature that few stop to see. Every year Nature gives life to the same flowers. They are different flowers from the previous year, but the same types of flowers so at the same time both old and also fresh and new. I wait for each flower to come out and make its grand and beautiful appearance. I find myself taking pictures to immortalize them and excited to greet each new blossom and new flower and breathe in the scent of the ones that have scents. I accept each new gift that I find…whether it is new blossoms, the message from the feathers, butterflies or insects. Each one has its own position and its own place in nature just as human life has its own gifts and challenges. In nature, no one entity is better than another, just different from. People are part of nature and yet they forget this. Many don’t realize that they too are special and beautiful. It might be part of human nature to judge ourselves and for some reason; it is seldom a positive thing. No matter how far along the path we are, there are still things that can trigger self-doubt. We are human and that is part of the package.
I think the other thing that so much social media has created is a divide from nature and its beauty. There appears to be an ever increasing number of political and social issues that take up our attention. The lack of tolerance for others makes me wonder if intolerance may be a symptom of the larger problem which is that society has shut itself off from each other as well as nature. Now, the addition of AI could result in the potential for creating fake relationships as it can actually make conversations with people. Though it is given glowing reviews from some AI authorities…increased access to information being one of the cited benefits, https://www.3dbear.io/blog/the-impact.... I also have some concerns that there are also downsides to the whole enterprise. No one even has touched the fact that people are chatting with AI rather than interacting with humans in some cases. It does have its potential uses in helping people to move forward and create accessibility. On the other hand, it can be a double edged sword. There are both potential benefits and costs to this. It does concern me that there may be a continued downswing in human relations. This article talks about some other negative potential outcomes. https://www.liberties.eu/en/stories/d.... I don’t know and don’t pretend to know if AI is good or bad, but we do need to be aware of potential benefits and potential costs in order to harness it and not have it harness us.
There are far more complexities with social media than we are aware of and more are coming to light daily. The constant judgment of looks, religion, orientation and other such factors can be exhausting. The best summary of the ideal I am looking for is this statement attributed to Buddha, "If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly our whole life would change." Life isn’t about the overall journey but is part of it. Life is about every single perfect moment and can be embodied in one single flower or one single moment. It is about every single bloom as it comes. It is about every one you love, care for and nurture in some way. Life is about living and living is about life. The world is a beautiful place when one looks at it. Everything is a miracle or can be and we are only limited by what we are willing to understand. As Ralph Waldo Emerson is credited with saying, "Love is like wildflowers; it's often found in the most unlikely places." This is also true of finding peace within yourself. It is part of becoming ones best self and the peace that can come from within. It allows for sharing, it allows for tolerating and it can simplify life. At the same time, it is not ever perfect and there will be bumps in that path as well.
It really isn’t an incomprehensible concept to think that finding some peace in oneself and in our ever changing world can be found in nature and we can learn from our natural world. I found an article citing a study that took some of this into account. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/arti.... The researcher, “Fagley is still researching how best to practice appreciation on a day-to-day-basis, she says. But for starters, she suggests that people focus on and value what they have, spend time outdoors, and reflect on their blessings and relationships with others.” The researcher suggests that “The challenge in fostering appreciation,” she says, “is that we want to periodically reflect on the positive aspects of our lives, value our friends and family, relish and savor the good times—without the practice of reflection becoming a rote habit or something that is taken for granted.” This argues for the necessity to grow closer to nature and nurture. Either or both have the potential to be life altering. This is something to be mindful of. I think it can be important to the quest to become a more rounded and happier human. There is magic out there. It’s called by different names. Sometimes we’re too busy living and making a life to notice it. That’s what makes it important to take even a little time to see the miracles in your everyday life. Seeing the little things as well as the bigger picture can give hope and gives strength to continue to work toward making this a better world.
As Christian D. Larson is credited with saying, “Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.” It is this message that the universe sends to me sometimes and that I choose to share this week. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I don’t. Accepting what comes from the world both known and unknown is what can enrich our lives. Life is not always easy, but sometimes it’s just the perfect moments that makes the magic in our lives. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
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I’ve been trying to come up with a blog post topic as is my custom on Wednesdays and it suddenly occurred to me that I’m missing the simple angle. Life has gotten complicated by all the daily stuff. It’s been complicated by lack in tolerance and the everyday battles as we continue to try to move forward with the cacophony of voices that try to send us flying off our paths. Some are positive, some are negative and some just want to create some disharmony. As Dale Carnegie is credited with saying, “We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.” Today’s walk with the dog, I focused on the flowers. I took pictures and enjoyed their beauty. I find it most satisfying to be out in the summer, despite the mosquitoes and just enjoying nature. It is the most simple, yet complex joy one can experience. People are so bound by convention and by the rules of the society to which they belong that they tend to miss the beauty that is around them every day. It comes in many forms, a flower, a smile, even a flash of memory. I think our computerized era has lost something important which is experiencing our own senses and life. It makes for less connecting on the human level, though we don’t comprehend it. We tend to be so busy trying to be something or do something that we fail to see what is right in front of our eyes. Nature is beautiful and soothing. So many different colours and shapes and scents are involved. We miss the multitude of levels that make up life while trying to make a life. We miss the various levels of existence and the beauty of our daily life and the life around us. It is this concept of everything as sacred that would help lead us away from the intolerance and prejudices that we see on social media, in the media in general and follows where ever we go.
I was rather surprised to see how many different articles try to tell you how to enjoy life more. After having read through a few, I found myself feeling annoyed. They literally sound like fortune cookies. Meet new people, push past your comfort level. These are all things that just continue to push for things that are attainable, but don’t give you much room to find joy in the most simple of things both within and outside of oneself. I don’t argue their importance in life as those ideals have importance too. I just was hoping to find something more and perhaps I didn’t do the right search for what I was looking for. Perhaps I am trying to oversimplify. But, for me, walking outside and sitting in the outside allows one to experience self-hood. It allows one to experience spiritual insignificance of self. Yes insignificance. Significance is what everyone feels they have to obtain. Here is the reason I rather experience insignificance, with the earth and all its many inhabitants, there are so many, so varied and all different that you see yourself as but one part of the whole and not the whole. It allows one to become humbler. There is so much going on around you in the world that you can become one with the surroundings. You can smell the flowers; hear the sound of the hummingbirds zooming back and forth to the feeder and any number of things going on with insects and other creatures. They are all part of the microcosm and macrocosm that is the natural world. You can hear the song of the wind whispering through the branches, the birds chirping and singing. There is a ritual to nature that few stop to see. Every year Nature gives life to the same flowers. They are different flowers from the previous year, but the same types of flowers so at the same time both old and also fresh and new. I wait for each flower to come out and make its grand and beautiful appearance. I find myself taking pictures to immortalize them and excited to greet each new blossom and new flower and breathe in the scent of the ones that have scents. I accept each new gift that I find…whether it is new blossoms, the message from the feathers, butterflies or insects. Each one has its own position and its own place in nature just as human life has its own gifts and challenges. In nature, no one entity is better than another, just different from. People are part of nature and yet they forget this. Many don’t realize that they too are special and beautiful. It might be part of human nature to judge ourselves and for some reason; it is seldom a positive thing. No matter how far along the path we are, there are still things that can trigger self-doubt. We are human and that is part of the package.
I think the other thing that so much social media has created is a divide from nature and its beauty. There appears to be an ever increasing number of political and social issues that take up our attention. The lack of tolerance for others makes me wonder if intolerance may be a symptom of the larger problem which is that society has shut itself off from each other as well as nature. Now, the addition of AI could result in the potential for creating fake relationships as it can actually make conversations with people. Though it is given glowing reviews from some AI authorities…increased access to information being one of the cited benefits, https://www.3dbear.io/blog/the-impact.... I also have some concerns that there are also downsides to the whole enterprise. No one even has touched the fact that people are chatting with AI rather than interacting with humans in some cases. It does have its potential uses in helping people to move forward and create accessibility. On the other hand, it can be a double edged sword. There are both potential benefits and costs to this. It does concern me that there may be a continued downswing in human relations. This article talks about some other negative potential outcomes. https://www.liberties.eu/en/stories/d.... I don’t know and don’t pretend to know if AI is good or bad, but we do need to be aware of potential benefits and potential costs in order to harness it and not have it harness us.
There are far more complexities with social media than we are aware of and more are coming to light daily. The constant judgment of looks, religion, orientation and other such factors can be exhausting. The best summary of the ideal I am looking for is this statement attributed to Buddha, "If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly our whole life would change." Life isn’t about the overall journey but is part of it. Life is about every single perfect moment and can be embodied in one single flower or one single moment. It is about every single bloom as it comes. It is about every one you love, care for and nurture in some way. Life is about living and living is about life. The world is a beautiful place when one looks at it. Everything is a miracle or can be and we are only limited by what we are willing to understand. As Ralph Waldo Emerson is credited with saying, "Love is like wildflowers; it's often found in the most unlikely places." This is also true of finding peace within yourself. It is part of becoming ones best self and the peace that can come from within. It allows for sharing, it allows for tolerating and it can simplify life. At the same time, it is not ever perfect and there will be bumps in that path as well.
It really isn’t an incomprehensible concept to think that finding some peace in oneself and in our ever changing world can be found in nature and we can learn from our natural world. I found an article citing a study that took some of this into account. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/arti.... The researcher, “Fagley is still researching how best to practice appreciation on a day-to-day-basis, she says. But for starters, she suggests that people focus on and value what they have, spend time outdoors, and reflect on their blessings and relationships with others.” The researcher suggests that “The challenge in fostering appreciation,” she says, “is that we want to periodically reflect on the positive aspects of our lives, value our friends and family, relish and savor the good times—without the practice of reflection becoming a rote habit or something that is taken for granted.” This argues for the necessity to grow closer to nature and nurture. Either or both have the potential to be life altering. This is something to be mindful of. I think it can be important to the quest to become a more rounded and happier human. There is magic out there. It’s called by different names. Sometimes we’re too busy living and making a life to notice it. That’s what makes it important to take even a little time to see the miracles in your everyday life. Seeing the little things as well as the bigger picture can give hope and gives strength to continue to work toward making this a better world.
As Christian D. Larson is credited with saying, “Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.” It is this message that the universe sends to me sometimes and that I choose to share this week. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I don’t. Accepting what comes from the world both known and unknown is what can enrich our lives. Life is not always easy, but sometimes it’s just the perfect moments that makes the magic in our lives. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
July 15, 2023
Anniversaries Then and Now
Hi and Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson Author Blog Post and Podcast. I’m your host, Jean coming to you from the beautiful Province of Prince Edward Island, Canada!! The blog post and podcast is an opinion piece and only reflects this author’s opinion and not that of any other entity. I hold no designations in politics, economics or medicine. I am retired from the mental health field. I am a humanitarian and speak from that viewpoint only. Whether you agree with me or not, at least I hope it makes you think. This week I look at our own milestone and how things change over the years. If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…!
I told my husband that I had to somehow come up with a blog post topic to draft and use as my podcast. His first answer was … tell everyone how good your husband is to you. My first thought was this isn’t General Hospital…no one wants to hear about it. Then I thought…wait, there might be something with that thought. Then I realized it was going to be our 37th wedding anniversary on the 16th of July. It is one of the few days I do celebrate. When we got married in 1986, no one questioned that I would take his name. Not even me. No one questioned that I had a maid of honour and he had a best man. Things were simpler, or so it seemed. I never thought of having a male as part of my bridal party. That idea seems to have come out in the last while and I was frankly intrigued. I did have a friend I would have asked, whether he would have accepted or not is a different story. I had invited the one instructor from the College I attended after finding my BEd was not a way to find a viable job. The College instructor was the only one who seemed to care whether or not I picked up the skills. He was a lovely gentleman. I knew that they sniggered behind his back and made innuendo about his ‘lifestyle’ or his attraction to males. I never gave that a second thought and was so happy he agreed to come. I was honoured that he gifted me a simple bottle opener. I didn’t really feel he needed to bring anything…he had been one of my best teachers in the school. That was gift enough for me. We didn’t go around expecting huge gifts at any rate and just wanted to share our day. Most of those in attendance were trying to live in their means. The wedding was something that was joining of two people. Back then it was usually assumed that it was a man and a woman. As I say, things were simpler and yet more complicated. People didn’t think about something that was a fundamental part of people’s lives as being anything other than the one thing and the one way. There wasn’t an acknowledgement of different ways of joining or different types of marriage. Even in the 1980’s, there were the same assumptions that seem to take over now despite better education being available. The one thing I can say is that now there is some visibility and yet even in this, some groups want to deny, hide and even harm. Sometimes it feels like the further ahead we come, the further behind we keep getting. But I digress…
Back up to the proposal. We weren’t independently wealthy, I said yes to a Cabbage Patch ring, a flower drawn on cardboard taped to a straw. He drew out a fireplace as it was around the holidays. He burned at least one supper beyond recognition he was so nervous. He asked my father’s blessing. I am often confused and flabbergasted by the amount of detail and the need for the biggest and best and everything having to be perfect in order to get married. We had very little. We were living on student loans for the most part and so were a goodly proportion of family and friends. Hubby almost got tossed out of his program for low attendance as he tried a job and school. I finally got a job and we managed until he Graduated.
When it came to the whole enterprise, I had already finished my BEd by this time and could not find a job. How we ended up in Ontario was a little sketchy. I was supposed to attend my second degree in the fall, but all that changed. My boyfriend then (Husband now) decided that it would be better to find somewhere else to get his education. Choice was to follow or to let him go. University was not his thing. That was fair enough. It really isn’t for everyone. His course work at the College was simple to him and he did well enough. He had been placed in probably the worst course for his skill set at University. That aside, we were engaged and happy. We moved because grapes grew well. I didn’t say everything was exactly logical. The weather was supposed to be nice. As an aside, I found the lifestyle way too fast for my liking. Our one stop in Toronto was on the way to Niagara Falls and I nearly got run over by a bunch of ladies with carts. I wanted to leave within the half hour.
Nowadays, the wedding dress seems to cost as much as our first car...actually, I think our first car was somewhat less expensive than a wedding dress. I was going to use my mothers. Had started some changes, but she offered to get me a new dress. So, I went wedding dress shopping. I didn’t want to put my parents in the poor house for a wedding, so we shopped around a bit. Apologies to Say Yes to the Dress type shows…my husband came with me to shop. Yes, my fiancé actually helped me pick out my wedding dress much to the shock of some of the girls in the program I was finishing up. There was no guidance or little from the store. They sent me into the room with him and we found a dress. I liked it well enough. Done! My Maid of Honour was in another Province and we got her dress the same way. My parents and any family that would attend had to come halfway across Canada. I did have a few family members in the Province we were in. But, I was never into big group things. I don’t even remember much about the shopping for the wedding dress. I was probably the least self-centered bride there was. I knew there were things we had to do…get the cake picked, get the venue, get place cards and table stuff, flowers and photographs. I was possibly the least picky bride anyone ever saw. My fiancé accompanied me to all of the steps. So, it really was our wedding.
I was delighted a couple of friends from my University days were going to come. One was my Maid of Honour. The other was a long time friend from University as well. Most of my family was not able to attend. It was quite a distance and not easy for travel. Getting married in Niagara Falls was actually quite exciting for me. I had liked living there, on the Canada side. We moved there for a time. I loved the multi-cultural aspects, the history, and the falls. I was happy with a small turn out for the wedding. Our pictures had everyone who attended…and you could still pick out people. We took my friends who had come for the wedding out for lunch before the wedding. There was a wait. It was a little panicking to try to get things done and make up and get to the wedding on time. I’m not sure who finally spoke up to the servers, but they suddenly were very quick to wait on the table. I remember seeing waiters and waitresses pointing and whispering. Thereafter, things went quickly and we were in and out. At least I wasn’t late for my own wedding. I think one of the waiters might have asked because some of the party were already dressed and I told them I was getting married…and when they asked, I gave them the time. It was a couple of hours away. I did my own makeup and hair. Never occurred to me anyone should do it for me.
So, it isn’t surprising that I’m confused by the nowadays Bridezillas who must control every aspect and find every offense. My Maid of Honour didn’t like a lot of frills, so I found a lovely dusty pink sort of dress with only one frill at the top. Luckily she liked it well enough I think she told me she wore it to another occasion. The other thing people don’t understand is the cost of wedding dresses. Were there $1,000+ dresses? I’m pretty sure there were. Mine was $50 and I think the Maid of Honour Dress was $40. I went to a store having a big sale. I got some flowers ordered for her hair. I knew that with a crown of flowers, she’d look like an angel. I knew her face form. I knew the dress would suit her. I wanted pink and blue for my colours. Our wedding wasn’t just about me; it wasn’t about flash and glamour. It wasn’t about money or what we could get. Our wedding was about us. It was about being happy. It was about sharing our day with people who were important to us.
I do have to admit to some panic. I think that it might be true of many introverts. A few weeks before the wedding, I had very real panic. Despite the old “Cold Feet” syndrome that they talk of, it was not cold feet. I literally wanted us to go elope…which would be the very antithesis of “cold feet”. The idea of a big thing that I had to be at the centre of left me uncomfortable. I would have happily eloped at that time. My husband to be, ever being practical and as my mother acknowledged was the only thing that kept me sailing off the earth and floating off in space, said that we had gone to an awful lot of trouble to go and elope at this late date. Maybe we should hold out and have the wedding. Sometimes he was more insistent about it than others. I was never going to be the runaway bride. The eloping one was a definite possibility…but after buying the dress and everything…
Despite a few hiccoughs, we did survive my anxiety, desire to elope and a few other challenges and the ceremony got completed. 37 years ago on July 16th. Every marriage has ups and downs. Every marriage has challenges. Some can be gotten past. I felt bad when my health started to become an issue. He had never signed up for that. Of course, the in sickness and health thing sounds good. In reality, it isn’t always easy. I wouldn’t trade in the last 37+ years. Every wedding has its strange stories. Some of them matter and some of them won’t. Hubby got some grease on his shirt in time for the wedding. They got a small beach ball and covered it in black tape and got some fake chain to have a ball and chain added to the car. It fell off and one of his little cousins ran out on a Niagara Falls road to fetch it. Thankfully we didn’t have a tragic accident there. I’m guessing nowadays the ball and chain gag would have resulted in some kind of marital mayhem. No one gave it a second thought then or if they did, kept it to themselves. But, then I come from a family that my father was spared a Chiveree also spelled Shiveree https://www.findmypast.com/blog/histo... because a relative put a stop to it. We knew about marriage having trials and tribulations. That might be the difference between now and then. I remember hearing the story some old family member talked to them and got them to stop. The other thing that might have set our marriage up differently was something I discovered during the course of getting the venue. We were forced to take a ‘marriage course’. During that, they had people fill out questionnaires and talk about things. I was somewhat confused about why this should be the centre of a course. I mean, we had talked about the important stuff. We actually knew each other pretty well by the time we decided to marry. But, it seemed that some were stumped by some of the questions. We sailed through the course and found it rather boring. Others I don’t know if they even married after taking that course. I would say, jumping into a relationship without knowing each other is a big detraction to a happy marriage. Knowing each other before jumping into things would result in far fewer unhappy marriages. It isn’t a show, it isn’t all glamour and sometimes it’s messy.
As Fawn Weaver is credited with saying, “The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace.” It isn’t about the perfect wedding, it isn’t about the perfect bride, and it isn’t about perfect at all. It’s about real. I still have the Cabbage Patch ring and some rosettes from the wedding cake that I treasure. We got a small wedding ring when he got his bursary. Years later, there was a ring that I had loved when we were first looking. Found the same ring set at a second hand shop. It wasn’t about money; it was about something we had agreed that we would have liked to have had for our wedding. Love isn’t about money, titles, or anything else. There are different types of love and different ways of joining. It doesn’t matter which type as long as one remembers… Love is Love. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
I told my husband that I had to somehow come up with a blog post topic to draft and use as my podcast. His first answer was … tell everyone how good your husband is to you. My first thought was this isn’t General Hospital…no one wants to hear about it. Then I thought…wait, there might be something with that thought. Then I realized it was going to be our 37th wedding anniversary on the 16th of July. It is one of the few days I do celebrate. When we got married in 1986, no one questioned that I would take his name. Not even me. No one questioned that I had a maid of honour and he had a best man. Things were simpler, or so it seemed. I never thought of having a male as part of my bridal party. That idea seems to have come out in the last while and I was frankly intrigued. I did have a friend I would have asked, whether he would have accepted or not is a different story. I had invited the one instructor from the College I attended after finding my BEd was not a way to find a viable job. The College instructor was the only one who seemed to care whether or not I picked up the skills. He was a lovely gentleman. I knew that they sniggered behind his back and made innuendo about his ‘lifestyle’ or his attraction to males. I never gave that a second thought and was so happy he agreed to come. I was honoured that he gifted me a simple bottle opener. I didn’t really feel he needed to bring anything…he had been one of my best teachers in the school. That was gift enough for me. We didn’t go around expecting huge gifts at any rate and just wanted to share our day. Most of those in attendance were trying to live in their means. The wedding was something that was joining of two people. Back then it was usually assumed that it was a man and a woman. As I say, things were simpler and yet more complicated. People didn’t think about something that was a fundamental part of people’s lives as being anything other than the one thing and the one way. There wasn’t an acknowledgement of different ways of joining or different types of marriage. Even in the 1980’s, there were the same assumptions that seem to take over now despite better education being available. The one thing I can say is that now there is some visibility and yet even in this, some groups want to deny, hide and even harm. Sometimes it feels like the further ahead we come, the further behind we keep getting. But I digress…
Back up to the proposal. We weren’t independently wealthy, I said yes to a Cabbage Patch ring, a flower drawn on cardboard taped to a straw. He drew out a fireplace as it was around the holidays. He burned at least one supper beyond recognition he was so nervous. He asked my father’s blessing. I am often confused and flabbergasted by the amount of detail and the need for the biggest and best and everything having to be perfect in order to get married. We had very little. We were living on student loans for the most part and so were a goodly proportion of family and friends. Hubby almost got tossed out of his program for low attendance as he tried a job and school. I finally got a job and we managed until he Graduated.
When it came to the whole enterprise, I had already finished my BEd by this time and could not find a job. How we ended up in Ontario was a little sketchy. I was supposed to attend my second degree in the fall, but all that changed. My boyfriend then (Husband now) decided that it would be better to find somewhere else to get his education. Choice was to follow or to let him go. University was not his thing. That was fair enough. It really isn’t for everyone. His course work at the College was simple to him and he did well enough. He had been placed in probably the worst course for his skill set at University. That aside, we were engaged and happy. We moved because grapes grew well. I didn’t say everything was exactly logical. The weather was supposed to be nice. As an aside, I found the lifestyle way too fast for my liking. Our one stop in Toronto was on the way to Niagara Falls and I nearly got run over by a bunch of ladies with carts. I wanted to leave within the half hour.
Nowadays, the wedding dress seems to cost as much as our first car...actually, I think our first car was somewhat less expensive than a wedding dress. I was going to use my mothers. Had started some changes, but she offered to get me a new dress. So, I went wedding dress shopping. I didn’t want to put my parents in the poor house for a wedding, so we shopped around a bit. Apologies to Say Yes to the Dress type shows…my husband came with me to shop. Yes, my fiancé actually helped me pick out my wedding dress much to the shock of some of the girls in the program I was finishing up. There was no guidance or little from the store. They sent me into the room with him and we found a dress. I liked it well enough. Done! My Maid of Honour was in another Province and we got her dress the same way. My parents and any family that would attend had to come halfway across Canada. I did have a few family members in the Province we were in. But, I was never into big group things. I don’t even remember much about the shopping for the wedding dress. I was probably the least self-centered bride there was. I knew there were things we had to do…get the cake picked, get the venue, get place cards and table stuff, flowers and photographs. I was possibly the least picky bride anyone ever saw. My fiancé accompanied me to all of the steps. So, it really was our wedding.
I was delighted a couple of friends from my University days were going to come. One was my Maid of Honour. The other was a long time friend from University as well. Most of my family was not able to attend. It was quite a distance and not easy for travel. Getting married in Niagara Falls was actually quite exciting for me. I had liked living there, on the Canada side. We moved there for a time. I loved the multi-cultural aspects, the history, and the falls. I was happy with a small turn out for the wedding. Our pictures had everyone who attended…and you could still pick out people. We took my friends who had come for the wedding out for lunch before the wedding. There was a wait. It was a little panicking to try to get things done and make up and get to the wedding on time. I’m not sure who finally spoke up to the servers, but they suddenly were very quick to wait on the table. I remember seeing waiters and waitresses pointing and whispering. Thereafter, things went quickly and we were in and out. At least I wasn’t late for my own wedding. I think one of the waiters might have asked because some of the party were already dressed and I told them I was getting married…and when they asked, I gave them the time. It was a couple of hours away. I did my own makeup and hair. Never occurred to me anyone should do it for me.
So, it isn’t surprising that I’m confused by the nowadays Bridezillas who must control every aspect and find every offense. My Maid of Honour didn’t like a lot of frills, so I found a lovely dusty pink sort of dress with only one frill at the top. Luckily she liked it well enough I think she told me she wore it to another occasion. The other thing people don’t understand is the cost of wedding dresses. Were there $1,000+ dresses? I’m pretty sure there were. Mine was $50 and I think the Maid of Honour Dress was $40. I went to a store having a big sale. I got some flowers ordered for her hair. I knew that with a crown of flowers, she’d look like an angel. I knew her face form. I knew the dress would suit her. I wanted pink and blue for my colours. Our wedding wasn’t just about me; it wasn’t about flash and glamour. It wasn’t about money or what we could get. Our wedding was about us. It was about being happy. It was about sharing our day with people who were important to us.
I do have to admit to some panic. I think that it might be true of many introverts. A few weeks before the wedding, I had very real panic. Despite the old “Cold Feet” syndrome that they talk of, it was not cold feet. I literally wanted us to go elope…which would be the very antithesis of “cold feet”. The idea of a big thing that I had to be at the centre of left me uncomfortable. I would have happily eloped at that time. My husband to be, ever being practical and as my mother acknowledged was the only thing that kept me sailing off the earth and floating off in space, said that we had gone to an awful lot of trouble to go and elope at this late date. Maybe we should hold out and have the wedding. Sometimes he was more insistent about it than others. I was never going to be the runaway bride. The eloping one was a definite possibility…but after buying the dress and everything…
Despite a few hiccoughs, we did survive my anxiety, desire to elope and a few other challenges and the ceremony got completed. 37 years ago on July 16th. Every marriage has ups and downs. Every marriage has challenges. Some can be gotten past. I felt bad when my health started to become an issue. He had never signed up for that. Of course, the in sickness and health thing sounds good. In reality, it isn’t always easy. I wouldn’t trade in the last 37+ years. Every wedding has its strange stories. Some of them matter and some of them won’t. Hubby got some grease on his shirt in time for the wedding. They got a small beach ball and covered it in black tape and got some fake chain to have a ball and chain added to the car. It fell off and one of his little cousins ran out on a Niagara Falls road to fetch it. Thankfully we didn’t have a tragic accident there. I’m guessing nowadays the ball and chain gag would have resulted in some kind of marital mayhem. No one gave it a second thought then or if they did, kept it to themselves. But, then I come from a family that my father was spared a Chiveree also spelled Shiveree https://www.findmypast.com/blog/histo... because a relative put a stop to it. We knew about marriage having trials and tribulations. That might be the difference between now and then. I remember hearing the story some old family member talked to them and got them to stop. The other thing that might have set our marriage up differently was something I discovered during the course of getting the venue. We were forced to take a ‘marriage course’. During that, they had people fill out questionnaires and talk about things. I was somewhat confused about why this should be the centre of a course. I mean, we had talked about the important stuff. We actually knew each other pretty well by the time we decided to marry. But, it seemed that some were stumped by some of the questions. We sailed through the course and found it rather boring. Others I don’t know if they even married after taking that course. I would say, jumping into a relationship without knowing each other is a big detraction to a happy marriage. Knowing each other before jumping into things would result in far fewer unhappy marriages. It isn’t a show, it isn’t all glamour and sometimes it’s messy.
As Fawn Weaver is credited with saying, “The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace.” It isn’t about the perfect wedding, it isn’t about the perfect bride, and it isn’t about perfect at all. It’s about real. I still have the Cabbage Patch ring and some rosettes from the wedding cake that I treasure. We got a small wedding ring when he got his bursary. Years later, there was a ring that I had loved when we were first looking. Found the same ring set at a second hand shop. It wasn’t about money; it was about something we had agreed that we would have liked to have had for our wedding. Love isn’t about money, titles, or anything else. There are different types of love and different ways of joining. It doesn’t matter which type as long as one remembers… Love is Love. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
July 8, 2023
From the Inside Looking Out
Hi and Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson Author Blog Post and Podcast. I’m your host, Jean coming to you from the beautiful Province of Prince Edward Island, Canada!! The blog post and podcast is an opinion piece and only reflects this author’s opinion and not that of any other entity. I hold no designations in politics, economics or medicine. I am retired from the mental health field. I am a humanitarian and speak from that viewpoint only. Whether you agree with me or not, at least I hope it makes you think. This week I look at viewpoints…in “From the Inside Looking Out” and perhaps from the outside looking in…the views are spectacularly different and yet together will give a fuller picture. If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…!
It’s been a week of reflection and differing viewpoints on the same topics here. This got me thinking about viewpoints. There is the viewpoint of someone looking from inside a particular group or area and looking out. This viewpoint can be beautiful; however, it can also miss what is on the outside. Looking in from the outside can also have its benefits, but also misses out on the details and you aren’t an actual member of the particular group. Is there a balanced view? Is it just different viewpoints? Can there be some joining of the viewpoints to get a cohesive whole? This is the thing that might bring the various groups together or might tear them apart. I intend to look at it and see if there is a chance to make some fuller picture of the whole thing.
As Big Sean is quoted with saying, “From the inside looking out you can never see how it looks from the outside looking in.” Perhaps that is what makes things so complicated. If you’re on the inside, you miss some of what is on the outside and from the outside; you miss some of what is on the inside. This is what makes things confusing for people who are allies to the 2SLGBTQ+ community for example. We want to support our friends and family, yet we don’t actually know the struggle and can only imagine from seeing all the hate online and in the news and we know that it makes us feel helpless and angry. The same goes for deniers of the horrors of Nazi Germany. We see what they are saying, we know the history and it horrifies us that people would so coldly deny the murder of so many innocent people. We only see the surface and miss out on the details. The everyday occurrences that make/made up their lives are not part of our own experience. We see the painful posts, we see the hateful comments and we feel defeated and broken. Sometimes we see the survivor they show. Very few of us, if any, could ever get to experience it from the inside. We, for the most part, cannot feel what they feel or see what they see. In some ways to be able to see these viewpoints would be a gift and in other ways a curse. To feel so much would open one’s eyes to the many possibilities and there are so many possibilities in the world. This is also confusing because with all those possibilities a percentage of people seem to choose hate and harm rather than choosing love and healing. It would take strength and endurance to stand up to feeling it. It would also give so much wisdom. It would be wisdom that would only come with being able to do both and that is a near impossibility at best. Sadly, it is a rare and nearly impossible insight to gain. One can only really see the surface. The same is true of the abuse of the First Nation Children. This article gives one story that gives just a taste of how the residential schools affected First Nation Children and continue to affect them and their families today https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iorD2... . We can read about it, we can see the horrors, it reaches our hearts, but we cannot truly know the damage that this horror caused. We didn’t live it. We can imagine that it would cause a huge amount of damage. It can help us gain a better understanding and a deeper respect for groups who have had these experiences. None of the groups truly has the whole picture.
From the outside looking in, we see things like the children dying in the USA due to school shootings and we know we cannot belong to the groups of people in the USA who are grieving because we are from Canada or fit in other groups and we cannot make changes to the political system there. We’re outsiders here in Canada and have a front row seat to this but no real power to enact change there. It boggles the mind that there are so many who would fight to keep up a situation which has been made untenable due to political lines. It is hard to understand how guns and politics are joined and how some would put that ahead of child safety. Even while writing the draft to this blog post/podcast (July 5, 2023), there seems to be another school shooting https://www.gunviolencearchive.org/re... . From the outside looking in, it makes no sense. From the Canadian perspective, these things are becoming ever more frequent and the violence seems to be crossing the border. This is part of what is terrifying about this situation. When something happens to the South of us, we get some of the fallout but we have no real power to change anything there. I’m sure that the same feeling exists for people who are neighbours to other countries.
On the other hand, this does not excuse us from trying to understand the whole picture. It is part of empathy that has people attempt to understand situations which you have not actively had. It is allowing the other person to feel what they need to in order for them to become stronger and healthier. This can be a two way street or a one way street. We can express our shock and the range of emotions in support of others. You don’t have to have lived an event to be able to feel compassion for another. That is part of nature for many. For example, in therapy, the therapist may not necessarily have had the experience with the situation in question, but they have the training and expertise to help the client to reach a place in their lives where they can cope. It does not mean that things will ever go back to the way they were or that the person will not still have issues. Some things may always be uncomfortable. Speaking from the background, I can also honestly say that not only is therapy not a one size fits all, but therapists have specialties for a reason. It is not something that they can just toss on a new one like an overcoat. It does take time, training and deliberate planning. Depending on the background and training, to ask for an instant change of specialty is akin to throwing away years of training and expertise and essentially makes a decision to retrain. It is asking to give up what makes things meaningful. It is also asking to toss out meanings one has picked up to help others over the years. This should not be taken lightly and when it is made to be an on demand thing, it destroys part of who you are. Knowing one’s own limitations is imperative. As with life, nothing is perfect and neither are therapists. It is not always necessary that one be a therapist to help someone along their path. However, the danger in not having a therapist involved at some point, when it comes to serious issues is that can lose their way. Some people find their path either way and some don’t. It’s all part of the marvellous path that we call life.
As Tina Turner is credited with saying, “My legacy is that I stayed on course... from the beginning to the end, because I believed in something inside of me.” There is no better teacher than life. Education is part of it. You educate yourself, you educate others. The frightening thing about the viewpoint of being from the outside looking in versus the inside looking out is that we don’t belong to the actual group and this comes with its own costs. This is part of the actual definition of from the outside looking in (https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/on_the...). It leaves us in a position where we can only lament the dead and keep supporting our allies while being an outsider and thus somewhat exposed. What becomes ever more frightening is that there are those who take over media, mass media and other forums that support all the hate and violence and try to silence the ones on the outside looking in. There are different viewpoints and ideologies from which they both sprout. There is a lack of compassion when it comes to politics. It seems politics has become a weapon rather than a way of running countries. Money is the root of all evil (old saying) and it seems that politics, rather than being based on theory and trying to reach a livable conclusion has become a way of beating up on people that are seen as ‘unacceptable’ in some way. This is the scariest thing about the varying viewpoints. It seems to result in lack of respect for humans and human life. I sometimes despair that humanity will be able to move forward. If we silence those from the outside looking in, we lose a different perspective. If we silence those on the inside looking out, we may lose what can be.
So, where does this disparity and different viewpoints leave us? As Kendra Scott is credited with saying, “Focus on what lights a fire inside of you and use that passion to fill a white space. Don't be afraid of the challenges, the missteps, and the setbacks along the way. What matters is that you keep going.” It is imperative that we find balance in this life. It is not easy to achieve. It is not impossible either. It is difficult. I had really considered leaving Twitter in the past week or so. Ability to post or respond was messed with. The owner seemed to be taking shots at anyone and everyone. Two major holidays came and went for Canada (Canada Day also controversial in its own way) and July 4th (with similar controversies) and we were told to go out and spend time with our families. This isn’t a point I argue with, but it was used more like a weapon to rub in the faces of the user that what we thought didn’t matter, what we felt didn’t matter and what we did would not matter. It was that which I felt most keenly. What decided my staying was that if I leave and other like-minded people leave, who will be the ally and who will speak for the groups that are being sidelined and silenced. Whether from the inside looking out or the outside looking in, both viewpoints will be necessary to find a more balanced world. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
It’s been a week of reflection and differing viewpoints on the same topics here. This got me thinking about viewpoints. There is the viewpoint of someone looking from inside a particular group or area and looking out. This viewpoint can be beautiful; however, it can also miss what is on the outside. Looking in from the outside can also have its benefits, but also misses out on the details and you aren’t an actual member of the particular group. Is there a balanced view? Is it just different viewpoints? Can there be some joining of the viewpoints to get a cohesive whole? This is the thing that might bring the various groups together or might tear them apart. I intend to look at it and see if there is a chance to make some fuller picture of the whole thing.
As Big Sean is quoted with saying, “From the inside looking out you can never see how it looks from the outside looking in.” Perhaps that is what makes things so complicated. If you’re on the inside, you miss some of what is on the outside and from the outside; you miss some of what is on the inside. This is what makes things confusing for people who are allies to the 2SLGBTQ+ community for example. We want to support our friends and family, yet we don’t actually know the struggle and can only imagine from seeing all the hate online and in the news and we know that it makes us feel helpless and angry. The same goes for deniers of the horrors of Nazi Germany. We see what they are saying, we know the history and it horrifies us that people would so coldly deny the murder of so many innocent people. We only see the surface and miss out on the details. The everyday occurrences that make/made up their lives are not part of our own experience. We see the painful posts, we see the hateful comments and we feel defeated and broken. Sometimes we see the survivor they show. Very few of us, if any, could ever get to experience it from the inside. We, for the most part, cannot feel what they feel or see what they see. In some ways to be able to see these viewpoints would be a gift and in other ways a curse. To feel so much would open one’s eyes to the many possibilities and there are so many possibilities in the world. This is also confusing because with all those possibilities a percentage of people seem to choose hate and harm rather than choosing love and healing. It would take strength and endurance to stand up to feeling it. It would also give so much wisdom. It would be wisdom that would only come with being able to do both and that is a near impossibility at best. Sadly, it is a rare and nearly impossible insight to gain. One can only really see the surface. The same is true of the abuse of the First Nation Children. This article gives one story that gives just a taste of how the residential schools affected First Nation Children and continue to affect them and their families today https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iorD2... . We can read about it, we can see the horrors, it reaches our hearts, but we cannot truly know the damage that this horror caused. We didn’t live it. We can imagine that it would cause a huge amount of damage. It can help us gain a better understanding and a deeper respect for groups who have had these experiences. None of the groups truly has the whole picture.
From the outside looking in, we see things like the children dying in the USA due to school shootings and we know we cannot belong to the groups of people in the USA who are grieving because we are from Canada or fit in other groups and we cannot make changes to the political system there. We’re outsiders here in Canada and have a front row seat to this but no real power to enact change there. It boggles the mind that there are so many who would fight to keep up a situation which has been made untenable due to political lines. It is hard to understand how guns and politics are joined and how some would put that ahead of child safety. Even while writing the draft to this blog post/podcast (July 5, 2023), there seems to be another school shooting https://www.gunviolencearchive.org/re... . From the outside looking in, it makes no sense. From the Canadian perspective, these things are becoming ever more frequent and the violence seems to be crossing the border. This is part of what is terrifying about this situation. When something happens to the South of us, we get some of the fallout but we have no real power to change anything there. I’m sure that the same feeling exists for people who are neighbours to other countries.
On the other hand, this does not excuse us from trying to understand the whole picture. It is part of empathy that has people attempt to understand situations which you have not actively had. It is allowing the other person to feel what they need to in order for them to become stronger and healthier. This can be a two way street or a one way street. We can express our shock and the range of emotions in support of others. You don’t have to have lived an event to be able to feel compassion for another. That is part of nature for many. For example, in therapy, the therapist may not necessarily have had the experience with the situation in question, but they have the training and expertise to help the client to reach a place in their lives where they can cope. It does not mean that things will ever go back to the way they were or that the person will not still have issues. Some things may always be uncomfortable. Speaking from the background, I can also honestly say that not only is therapy not a one size fits all, but therapists have specialties for a reason. It is not something that they can just toss on a new one like an overcoat. It does take time, training and deliberate planning. Depending on the background and training, to ask for an instant change of specialty is akin to throwing away years of training and expertise and essentially makes a decision to retrain. It is asking to give up what makes things meaningful. It is also asking to toss out meanings one has picked up to help others over the years. This should not be taken lightly and when it is made to be an on demand thing, it destroys part of who you are. Knowing one’s own limitations is imperative. As with life, nothing is perfect and neither are therapists. It is not always necessary that one be a therapist to help someone along their path. However, the danger in not having a therapist involved at some point, when it comes to serious issues is that can lose their way. Some people find their path either way and some don’t. It’s all part of the marvellous path that we call life.
As Tina Turner is credited with saying, “My legacy is that I stayed on course... from the beginning to the end, because I believed in something inside of me.” There is no better teacher than life. Education is part of it. You educate yourself, you educate others. The frightening thing about the viewpoint of being from the outside looking in versus the inside looking out is that we don’t belong to the actual group and this comes with its own costs. This is part of the actual definition of from the outside looking in (https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/on_the...). It leaves us in a position where we can only lament the dead and keep supporting our allies while being an outsider and thus somewhat exposed. What becomes ever more frightening is that there are those who take over media, mass media and other forums that support all the hate and violence and try to silence the ones on the outside looking in. There are different viewpoints and ideologies from which they both sprout. There is a lack of compassion when it comes to politics. It seems politics has become a weapon rather than a way of running countries. Money is the root of all evil (old saying) and it seems that politics, rather than being based on theory and trying to reach a livable conclusion has become a way of beating up on people that are seen as ‘unacceptable’ in some way. This is the scariest thing about the varying viewpoints. It seems to result in lack of respect for humans and human life. I sometimes despair that humanity will be able to move forward. If we silence those from the outside looking in, we lose a different perspective. If we silence those on the inside looking out, we may lose what can be.
So, where does this disparity and different viewpoints leave us? As Kendra Scott is credited with saying, “Focus on what lights a fire inside of you and use that passion to fill a white space. Don't be afraid of the challenges, the missteps, and the setbacks along the way. What matters is that you keep going.” It is imperative that we find balance in this life. It is not easy to achieve. It is not impossible either. It is difficult. I had really considered leaving Twitter in the past week or so. Ability to post or respond was messed with. The owner seemed to be taking shots at anyone and everyone. Two major holidays came and went for Canada (Canada Day also controversial in its own way) and July 4th (with similar controversies) and we were told to go out and spend time with our families. This isn’t a point I argue with, but it was used more like a weapon to rub in the faces of the user that what we thought didn’t matter, what we felt didn’t matter and what we did would not matter. It was that which I felt most keenly. What decided my staying was that if I leave and other like-minded people leave, who will be the ally and who will speak for the groups that are being sidelined and silenced. Whether from the inside looking out or the outside looking in, both viewpoints will be necessary to find a more balanced world. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
July 1, 2023
Criticism
Hi and Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson Author Blog Post and Podcast. I’m your host, Jean coming to you from the beautiful Province of Prince Edward Island, Canada!! The blog post and podcast is an opinion piece and only reflects this author’s opinion and not that of any other entity. I hold no designations in politics, economics or medicine. I am retired from the mental health field. I am a humanitarian and speak from that viewpoint only. Whether you agree with me or not, at least I hope it makes you think. This week I talk about criticism and how it is useful but sometimes overused. If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…!
My favourite place to start with discussing most complicated topics is to give the definition. The reason for this is that often people have ideas as to what the word means that have no bearing on the actual meaning. This gives a clear starting point for any discussion. There are two definitions of criticism. One is literary based and so I’m going to leave that one out since it gets a bit more complicated. I’m sticking with the simple definition. So, in this case criticism is defined as “the act of saying that something or someone is bad” https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dict.... This is as simple a definition as one can find. Often society has a habit of only telling people when they have done something which they think is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’. How often do they tell people they’ve done something right? Now with online reviews, there is a little more positive out there. But, most often people tend to write a company when they are unhappy with their service. People tend to leave feedback when it is something immediate on a timeline when it is something they don’t like. Often, on places like Twitter or news stories, I try not to read the comments too much. It seems any time I do, I find at least 1/5 of them are either negative comments on some group or subject they decide isn’t to their liking or some advertisement for some product that has nothing to do with the article at all. Sometimes it is like some people just want to put something there whether or not it helps, acknowledges or adds to the conversation.
There are articles and videos on how to deal with criticism…https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Cri... being just one. Many imagine that it is there to be ‘constructive’. Constructive criticism seems also to be rare. Often it is just a way of trying to fail people. Worse yet, they suggest to ignore destructive criticism without a true definition of or way to determine which is destructive. The other problem is destructive criticism is often in the eye of the beholder and so it gets complicated. Sometimes it isn’t even directed at the person. Sometimes it is just an instructive thing. I have to admit criticism does have its place in the universe and generally can have some use. However, I think first, we need to school ourselves on how to leave criticism before assuming what kind it is. On the plus side, there is possibility of schooling oneself on how to leave constructive criticism. Most people don’t see the need for educating oneself on this topic. They think they already know how to do it. https://www.valamis.com/hub/construct.... It is often hard to make sure that destructive criticism is not left. It is harder than most people think. I sometimes find myself backing out something I want to say because it occurs to me that it might be taken more than one way. I also find myself qualifying something I say for the same reason. I have to admit, I’m not always perfectly clean in making my comments. Who is? I prefer the positive feedback to the negative when given the choice. It’s not a perfect art and one must continually walk a fine line. Twitter makes this harder by having a word/letter limit. Personally, I often feel there is too much negative feedback online already. To leave more is not going to improve the situation. I like to keep it light. From time to time, I am struck by a statement that triggers me. This is often due to unfairness of the statement. Truth is sometimes abrasive and not always the right thing. However, lies are not acceptable either. The overall truth is that sometimes no matter how helpful or kind the intention, someone will have issues that you know nothing about and it will trigger a reaction. It does not become the fault of anyone. If the person with the trigger understands where the trigger comes from and why it is a trigger for them, then they know they have to ride it out and it doesn’t become someone else’s fault. Part of criticism makes it important to also know what your responsibility is and what is not. This too is difficult because at what point does humanity and single-hood stop being one’s responsibility. You are not responsible for other people’s triggers, though it is more pleasant when they are not set up. You are responsible for what you say or do. When I am in doubt, I often post a warning that it might upset some sensitive viewers and sometimes not. However, even then, you cannot guarantee that something that seems quite innocuous will not trigger something for another person. That’s what makes communications hard. It’s what makes life more difficult. The definition of constructive criticism from the article I note above is “Constructive criticism is actionable, clear, and beneficial to the recipient. It does not focus solely on the negative aspects. Rather than tearing something down, constructive criticism focuses on improving it.” (https://www.valamis.com/hub/construct...) Now try to fit all that in 280 characters on Twitter. Look it up on Google…it suggests that is the limit. So to be honest, I don’t see anything to criticize in most of the pages I follow…so often just keep it light and hope to get a few laughs and maybe lighten someone’s day.
I think my most favourite ever example of criticism and its importance can be summed up by this article https://myq105.com/2021/05/28/kiss-sh.... I remember it every time I see criticisms. The critic told KISS more or less not to quit their day jobs. He talks about how KISS won’t be around long. That was in 1974 and they are making the choice to step down despite being one of the best and most known bands on the planet. Sorry other bands. KISS has been my favourite for a long time. They give amazing shows, they love their fans and they always give it their best. I wish them all the best with their future projects. Happy ‘retirement’ Gentlemen! I put it in quotes as they have other projects they are working on so ‘retirement’ is just a word. I do love other bands…my heart is taken by some of them…but come on…KISS has its own army. They accomplished all this after not giving up after the terrible 1974 review. So criticism does have its place. But, if you let it rule your life, you will have trouble.
When it comes to criticism, I was attracted to this quote attributed to Paul J. Meyer “Crystallize your goals. Make a plan for achieving them and set yourself a deadline. Then, with supreme confidence, determination and disregard for obstacles and other people's criticisms carry out your plan.” The people who make it are the ones that take criticism into account and critically assess the content and move forward better armed or who know which criticism to follow and which to discard. These are the ones that benefit from the first and aren’t crushed by the second. There is no real formula for what to accept or what to reject. Some reject nearly all criticism and spin their wheels. Some take all criticism and are destroyed by it. The right balance is difficult to achieve.
“Persecution is the first law of society because it is always easier to suppress criticism than to meet it.” Howard Mumford Jones. This may explain a lot of what goes on in society. It can, at least help, in part, to explain the religious intolerance, the lack of unity and the hatred of other. People feel they must suppress that which makes them uncomfortable. We have to acknowledge that discomfort is all part of criticism and interestingly enough creativity as well, I was fascinated to see what John Cleese had to say on discomfort and creativity. “…the most creative people have learned to tolerate that discomfort for much longer. And so, just because they put in more pondering time, their solutions are more creative.” If you want to get more information on his thoughts on the subject, the following link has the transcript. https://jamesclear.com/great-speeches....” So, to benefit from both criticism and creativity, one must be willing to sit with the discomfort it creates.
I think the part of criticism that is crucial to focus on is the evaluation of the information or criticism. It’s also imperative to consider thoughts that make you want to think. Just because something wasn’t directed specifically to you does not mean it isn’t a valid criticism nor that the information cannot be assimilated into your psyche. I was rather struck by the Cleese quote as it made me think. I found it wonderfully instructional. So being on the lookout for lessons that you can assimilate into your daily life can help you work toward being a better rounded and more grounded person. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
My favourite place to start with discussing most complicated topics is to give the definition. The reason for this is that often people have ideas as to what the word means that have no bearing on the actual meaning. This gives a clear starting point for any discussion. There are two definitions of criticism. One is literary based and so I’m going to leave that one out since it gets a bit more complicated. I’m sticking with the simple definition. So, in this case criticism is defined as “the act of saying that something or someone is bad” https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dict.... This is as simple a definition as one can find. Often society has a habit of only telling people when they have done something which they think is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’. How often do they tell people they’ve done something right? Now with online reviews, there is a little more positive out there. But, most often people tend to write a company when they are unhappy with their service. People tend to leave feedback when it is something immediate on a timeline when it is something they don’t like. Often, on places like Twitter or news stories, I try not to read the comments too much. It seems any time I do, I find at least 1/5 of them are either negative comments on some group or subject they decide isn’t to their liking or some advertisement for some product that has nothing to do with the article at all. Sometimes it is like some people just want to put something there whether or not it helps, acknowledges or adds to the conversation.
There are articles and videos on how to deal with criticism…https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Cri... being just one. Many imagine that it is there to be ‘constructive’. Constructive criticism seems also to be rare. Often it is just a way of trying to fail people. Worse yet, they suggest to ignore destructive criticism without a true definition of or way to determine which is destructive. The other problem is destructive criticism is often in the eye of the beholder and so it gets complicated. Sometimes it isn’t even directed at the person. Sometimes it is just an instructive thing. I have to admit criticism does have its place in the universe and generally can have some use. However, I think first, we need to school ourselves on how to leave criticism before assuming what kind it is. On the plus side, there is possibility of schooling oneself on how to leave constructive criticism. Most people don’t see the need for educating oneself on this topic. They think they already know how to do it. https://www.valamis.com/hub/construct.... It is often hard to make sure that destructive criticism is not left. It is harder than most people think. I sometimes find myself backing out something I want to say because it occurs to me that it might be taken more than one way. I also find myself qualifying something I say for the same reason. I have to admit, I’m not always perfectly clean in making my comments. Who is? I prefer the positive feedback to the negative when given the choice. It’s not a perfect art and one must continually walk a fine line. Twitter makes this harder by having a word/letter limit. Personally, I often feel there is too much negative feedback online already. To leave more is not going to improve the situation. I like to keep it light. From time to time, I am struck by a statement that triggers me. This is often due to unfairness of the statement. Truth is sometimes abrasive and not always the right thing. However, lies are not acceptable either. The overall truth is that sometimes no matter how helpful or kind the intention, someone will have issues that you know nothing about and it will trigger a reaction. It does not become the fault of anyone. If the person with the trigger understands where the trigger comes from and why it is a trigger for them, then they know they have to ride it out and it doesn’t become someone else’s fault. Part of criticism makes it important to also know what your responsibility is and what is not. This too is difficult because at what point does humanity and single-hood stop being one’s responsibility. You are not responsible for other people’s triggers, though it is more pleasant when they are not set up. You are responsible for what you say or do. When I am in doubt, I often post a warning that it might upset some sensitive viewers and sometimes not. However, even then, you cannot guarantee that something that seems quite innocuous will not trigger something for another person. That’s what makes communications hard. It’s what makes life more difficult. The definition of constructive criticism from the article I note above is “Constructive criticism is actionable, clear, and beneficial to the recipient. It does not focus solely on the negative aspects. Rather than tearing something down, constructive criticism focuses on improving it.” (https://www.valamis.com/hub/construct...) Now try to fit all that in 280 characters on Twitter. Look it up on Google…it suggests that is the limit. So to be honest, I don’t see anything to criticize in most of the pages I follow…so often just keep it light and hope to get a few laughs and maybe lighten someone’s day.
I think my most favourite ever example of criticism and its importance can be summed up by this article https://myq105.com/2021/05/28/kiss-sh.... I remember it every time I see criticisms. The critic told KISS more or less not to quit their day jobs. He talks about how KISS won’t be around long. That was in 1974 and they are making the choice to step down despite being one of the best and most known bands on the planet. Sorry other bands. KISS has been my favourite for a long time. They give amazing shows, they love their fans and they always give it their best. I wish them all the best with their future projects. Happy ‘retirement’ Gentlemen! I put it in quotes as they have other projects they are working on so ‘retirement’ is just a word. I do love other bands…my heart is taken by some of them…but come on…KISS has its own army. They accomplished all this after not giving up after the terrible 1974 review. So criticism does have its place. But, if you let it rule your life, you will have trouble.
When it comes to criticism, I was attracted to this quote attributed to Paul J. Meyer “Crystallize your goals. Make a plan for achieving them and set yourself a deadline. Then, with supreme confidence, determination and disregard for obstacles and other people's criticisms carry out your plan.” The people who make it are the ones that take criticism into account and critically assess the content and move forward better armed or who know which criticism to follow and which to discard. These are the ones that benefit from the first and aren’t crushed by the second. There is no real formula for what to accept or what to reject. Some reject nearly all criticism and spin their wheels. Some take all criticism and are destroyed by it. The right balance is difficult to achieve.
“Persecution is the first law of society because it is always easier to suppress criticism than to meet it.” Howard Mumford Jones. This may explain a lot of what goes on in society. It can, at least help, in part, to explain the religious intolerance, the lack of unity and the hatred of other. People feel they must suppress that which makes them uncomfortable. We have to acknowledge that discomfort is all part of criticism and interestingly enough creativity as well, I was fascinated to see what John Cleese had to say on discomfort and creativity. “…the most creative people have learned to tolerate that discomfort for much longer. And so, just because they put in more pondering time, their solutions are more creative.” If you want to get more information on his thoughts on the subject, the following link has the transcript. https://jamesclear.com/great-speeches....” So, to benefit from both criticism and creativity, one must be willing to sit with the discomfort it creates.
I think the part of criticism that is crucial to focus on is the evaluation of the information or criticism. It’s also imperative to consider thoughts that make you want to think. Just because something wasn’t directed specifically to you does not mean it isn’t a valid criticism nor that the information cannot be assimilated into your psyche. I was rather struck by the Cleese quote as it made me think. I found it wonderfully instructional. So being on the lookout for lessons that you can assimilate into your daily life can help you work toward being a better rounded and more grounded person. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
June 24, 2023
The Missing Link
Hi and Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson Author Blog Post and Podcast. I’m your host, Jean coming to you from the beautiful Province of Prince Edward Island, Canada!! The blog post and podcast is an opinion piece and only reflects this author’s opinion and not that of any other entity. I hold no designations in politics, economics or medicine. I am retired from the mental health field. I am a humanitarian and speak from that viewpoint only. Whether you agree with me or not, at least I hope it makes you think. This week I talk about computers and the missing link. Have we become just another automaton in the online meta-verse? If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…!
There are so many benefits to the internet. At the same time, there are so many costs. First some benefits, you can communicate with a wide variety of people. There is an enormous universe to choose from. Celebrities, want to be celebrities, old guard, new guard, vanguard, coast guard. You can find people from all walks of life. There are people of all colours, shapes, sizes, opinions, and orientations. The variety of opinions and thoughts are staggering. You can learn a great deal. At the same time if someone is sensitive to all the baggage flying around, it can be totally overwhelming. The newsfeed while I was writing this was full of death, disaster and every horror known to mankind. People are dying needlessly. People seem to be dying because they want to get high, to be the next big thing and to be better, best and best yet. It’s like thousands of voices screaming in your head constantly. How do you deal with this? It isn’t even anything new. It’s just more available to people nowadays. You can consume it 24/7. They want you to be a certain religion, a certain group, a certain type. You are the problem if you do not agree. Most of them don’t like themselves, let alone another human being. They are non-stop looking for the next big thing. Religious intolerance, hate for other than self. Can’t even get agreement on live and let live and people are being shot over categories. No one wants to lose, but they want to win at all costs. There is a difference. Save face when all you get in the end is wrinkles. What are you saving it for?
It is little wonder that no one trusts that anyone would be purposefully kind. There must be something wrong with that one they say. It can’t be real. Let’s prove it isn’t real. Years of being the same is not good enough. Every proof is met with eye rolls. They make stories to suit their tastes and don’t want to see what is real. So many years of being the same person, singing the same song yet it is all an act. Some may try to get past the façade whether or not one exists and everyone seems to have one. People all talk about wanting real. Yet, real seems to be ever elusive. Even when there is ‘Real’, no one accepts it. They have Reality TV which is about as real as most profile pictures. At one time, I liked the pictures of people, then realized with AI and everything, I was as safe with the cartoon ones as I was with the real ones. One can’t tell the difference anyway. I tend to follow pictures mostly since they can be faked, but at least there is some reality to them. Flowers exist, trees exist, and locations exist. Though I have seen some animal shorts that make me wonder what is wrong with the animal. Something seems off or sick about the creature.
Now, try to be other than Christian or other than white and be different. There is a move to obliterate…to obfuscate and bring you into the fold or annihilate entirely. Even the larger religions are not safe. We see thousands of years of death, hate and cover ups. So, is real actually real or is it an illusion. Is the world AI created, person created or at all created or is it just in our heads? Who created us, some say creator, but they aren’t believed either. They have to join other ‘accepted’ religions in order to be accepted as real.
The thing in life is that there is actually no truth…nor any solid basic truth except what we can get everyone to accept…therefore truth is immaterial…ergo maybe there is no truth and no reality. The truth of the anti-establishment sorts is not the truth of the supporters of other beliefs. Even when the truth is told no one seems to have any interest in it. So, all stand in their virtual corners and shout to sell their wares on their own street corners. The noise is deafening and no one hears it anyway. Government does what they do with or without input. As bell hooks* is quoted with saying, “All over the world, young males and females, schooled in the art of patriarchal thinking, are building an identity on a foundation that sees the will to do violence as the essential way to assert being.” This is very salient in the online interactions we still see. The attitude that men have to be men and women have to be women and no one else can exist is pushed by mass media. You have to fight to be recognized as human. There is no room for shades of grey and the world seems to darken a little more. It is the hallmark of the Conservative parties. It causes fear of change, suspicion of anything that is ‘different’ and perpetuates intolerances against fellow humans.
Alva Myrdal is quoted with saying, "There is a cultural factor promoting violence which nowadays undoubtedly is highly effective is the mass media. And particularly everything that enters our minds through pictorial media". The constant exposure to the media is both a gift and a threat to our very existence. I cannot imagine spending so much time on social media as others do. They seem to be attached to the cell phone and it is constantly being clicked, checked with an exhaustive array of violent images. It becomes a concrete jungle with gangsters and conspiracy. It seems something that can be harmful to younger generations, and to be frank, I can’t handle more than a few hours at a time. I get overwhelmed. When we look at the literature, https://www.helpguide.org/articles/me... and this is just one article, it gives a taste of the fact that there is positive but also there are negative effects on the users. Increase in anxiety and depression are actually pointed out to be two things that can go wrong. So, with all this knowledge we are still having our teens come out with higher anxiety and depression, aggressive behavior, one-upmanship seems the rule. They are tied to the media as though they have handcuffs on. There is the need to get ‘even’. ‘Even’ never happens and the cycle continues.
Pre-computer age, we had news and newspapers. The world was centralized around our community. We had outdoor time. We had better connection with each other and with others. We always had anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses. These are not new either. Now we have more exposure to it, but less understanding. There was never good understanding of mental illness. There was never good understanding of people being different. Though there seemed more likelihood of someone in the family being somewhat accepting or even extended family and/or friends. There are still the same struggles for people coming out as different. People are still ostracized by religion, racial boundaries, and orientation. People are still hiding in the shadows rather than coming out in the light. They are still judged for being different and it seems categories rule the world. You are either one of the cool people or you are not. I’m decidedly not and have no interest in being so. I just go about and do what I do because some will like it, some will not and unless they block me, I don’t know which are which. This makes things go as smoothly as one can expect. There are still people who don’t understand the difference between reality, altered reality or non-reality. Those who are sensitive to the vicissitudes of the world will always have difficulty navigating the huge variety of individuals. Understanding the needs of others always comes at a cost. It means you feel it all deeply. To put others first is not something new. Some had done it for centuries. Their path is and always will be different. There will be those who stand on the path, those who put obstacles in the path and some will even walk the path. Sometimes I have to shut down for my own mental health.
The only thing left in the end is love. As bell hook* is credited with saying, “I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else's whim or to someone else's ignorance.” Only the higher power has the ability and right to do force actions. All else is subterfuge. So folks, sorry, you’re stuck with me as I am. Like it, don’t like it. Sometimes I need to make the media voices stop so I can reconnect with the sacred. It is one of the side effects of being different from others. It is impossible to separate the nature path from the universal or the universal from the single. It is all one. Trying to do so alienates from oneself. The solitary path is one that is different and hard to understand. Often when the shut down comes, people feel that they are being abandoned when in fact; it is only a short break to stay sane. We feel everything, we hear everything, and we absorb everything. We, like the darkness, tend to absorb the heat. Even when I was a child, my mother needed short breaks from us. It is normal and natural. No parent can be on continually and not break down. It is not natural. Even the deer in the forest take their babes and leave them in tall grass to go forage. The birds leave the nest for sustenance. This is the way of nature and the path. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
There are so many benefits to the internet. At the same time, there are so many costs. First some benefits, you can communicate with a wide variety of people. There is an enormous universe to choose from. Celebrities, want to be celebrities, old guard, new guard, vanguard, coast guard. You can find people from all walks of life. There are people of all colours, shapes, sizes, opinions, and orientations. The variety of opinions and thoughts are staggering. You can learn a great deal. At the same time if someone is sensitive to all the baggage flying around, it can be totally overwhelming. The newsfeed while I was writing this was full of death, disaster and every horror known to mankind. People are dying needlessly. People seem to be dying because they want to get high, to be the next big thing and to be better, best and best yet. It’s like thousands of voices screaming in your head constantly. How do you deal with this? It isn’t even anything new. It’s just more available to people nowadays. You can consume it 24/7. They want you to be a certain religion, a certain group, a certain type. You are the problem if you do not agree. Most of them don’t like themselves, let alone another human being. They are non-stop looking for the next big thing. Religious intolerance, hate for other than self. Can’t even get agreement on live and let live and people are being shot over categories. No one wants to lose, but they want to win at all costs. There is a difference. Save face when all you get in the end is wrinkles. What are you saving it for?
It is little wonder that no one trusts that anyone would be purposefully kind. There must be something wrong with that one they say. It can’t be real. Let’s prove it isn’t real. Years of being the same is not good enough. Every proof is met with eye rolls. They make stories to suit their tastes and don’t want to see what is real. So many years of being the same person, singing the same song yet it is all an act. Some may try to get past the façade whether or not one exists and everyone seems to have one. People all talk about wanting real. Yet, real seems to be ever elusive. Even when there is ‘Real’, no one accepts it. They have Reality TV which is about as real as most profile pictures. At one time, I liked the pictures of people, then realized with AI and everything, I was as safe with the cartoon ones as I was with the real ones. One can’t tell the difference anyway. I tend to follow pictures mostly since they can be faked, but at least there is some reality to them. Flowers exist, trees exist, and locations exist. Though I have seen some animal shorts that make me wonder what is wrong with the animal. Something seems off or sick about the creature.
Now, try to be other than Christian or other than white and be different. There is a move to obliterate…to obfuscate and bring you into the fold or annihilate entirely. Even the larger religions are not safe. We see thousands of years of death, hate and cover ups. So, is real actually real or is it an illusion. Is the world AI created, person created or at all created or is it just in our heads? Who created us, some say creator, but they aren’t believed either. They have to join other ‘accepted’ religions in order to be accepted as real.
The thing in life is that there is actually no truth…nor any solid basic truth except what we can get everyone to accept…therefore truth is immaterial…ergo maybe there is no truth and no reality. The truth of the anti-establishment sorts is not the truth of the supporters of other beliefs. Even when the truth is told no one seems to have any interest in it. So, all stand in their virtual corners and shout to sell their wares on their own street corners. The noise is deafening and no one hears it anyway. Government does what they do with or without input. As bell hooks* is quoted with saying, “All over the world, young males and females, schooled in the art of patriarchal thinking, are building an identity on a foundation that sees the will to do violence as the essential way to assert being.” This is very salient in the online interactions we still see. The attitude that men have to be men and women have to be women and no one else can exist is pushed by mass media. You have to fight to be recognized as human. There is no room for shades of grey and the world seems to darken a little more. It is the hallmark of the Conservative parties. It causes fear of change, suspicion of anything that is ‘different’ and perpetuates intolerances against fellow humans.
Alva Myrdal is quoted with saying, "There is a cultural factor promoting violence which nowadays undoubtedly is highly effective is the mass media. And particularly everything that enters our minds through pictorial media". The constant exposure to the media is both a gift and a threat to our very existence. I cannot imagine spending so much time on social media as others do. They seem to be attached to the cell phone and it is constantly being clicked, checked with an exhaustive array of violent images. It becomes a concrete jungle with gangsters and conspiracy. It seems something that can be harmful to younger generations, and to be frank, I can’t handle more than a few hours at a time. I get overwhelmed. When we look at the literature, https://www.helpguide.org/articles/me... and this is just one article, it gives a taste of the fact that there is positive but also there are negative effects on the users. Increase in anxiety and depression are actually pointed out to be two things that can go wrong. So, with all this knowledge we are still having our teens come out with higher anxiety and depression, aggressive behavior, one-upmanship seems the rule. They are tied to the media as though they have handcuffs on. There is the need to get ‘even’. ‘Even’ never happens and the cycle continues.
Pre-computer age, we had news and newspapers. The world was centralized around our community. We had outdoor time. We had better connection with each other and with others. We always had anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses. These are not new either. Now we have more exposure to it, but less understanding. There was never good understanding of mental illness. There was never good understanding of people being different. Though there seemed more likelihood of someone in the family being somewhat accepting or even extended family and/or friends. There are still the same struggles for people coming out as different. People are still ostracized by religion, racial boundaries, and orientation. People are still hiding in the shadows rather than coming out in the light. They are still judged for being different and it seems categories rule the world. You are either one of the cool people or you are not. I’m decidedly not and have no interest in being so. I just go about and do what I do because some will like it, some will not and unless they block me, I don’t know which are which. This makes things go as smoothly as one can expect. There are still people who don’t understand the difference between reality, altered reality or non-reality. Those who are sensitive to the vicissitudes of the world will always have difficulty navigating the huge variety of individuals. Understanding the needs of others always comes at a cost. It means you feel it all deeply. To put others first is not something new. Some had done it for centuries. Their path is and always will be different. There will be those who stand on the path, those who put obstacles in the path and some will even walk the path. Sometimes I have to shut down for my own mental health.
The only thing left in the end is love. As bell hook* is credited with saying, “I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else's whim or to someone else's ignorance.” Only the higher power has the ability and right to do force actions. All else is subterfuge. So folks, sorry, you’re stuck with me as I am. Like it, don’t like it. Sometimes I need to make the media voices stop so I can reconnect with the sacred. It is one of the side effects of being different from others. It is impossible to separate the nature path from the universal or the universal from the single. It is all one. Trying to do so alienates from oneself. The solitary path is one that is different and hard to understand. Often when the shut down comes, people feel that they are being abandoned when in fact; it is only a short break to stay sane. We feel everything, we hear everything, and we absorb everything. We, like the darkness, tend to absorb the heat. Even when I was a child, my mother needed short breaks from us. It is normal and natural. No parent can be on continually and not break down. It is not natural. Even the deer in the forest take their babes and leave them in tall grass to go forage. The birds leave the nest for sustenance. This is the way of nature and the path. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
June 17, 2023
Best Practices I Ignore
Hi and Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson Author Blog Post and Podcast. I’m your host, Jean coming to you from the beautiful Province of Prince Edward Island, Canada!! The blog post and podcast is an opinion piece and only reflects this author’s opinion and not that of any other entity. I hold no designations in politics, economics or medicine. I am retired from the mental health field. I am a humanitarian and speak from that viewpoint only. Whether you agree with me or not, at least I hope it makes you think. This week I look at the best advice I ignore and other of life’s anomalies. These are not things I always ignore…they are things that I tend to sometimes find myself having to ignore and why it might be useful. If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…!
The world is busy telling everyone that they need to step away, ignore others, you only get what you give; hate those who are different from yourself. Money is King … or Queen as the case may be and the crown is constantly up for grabs. Often you see the motto of give up, give in and follow the crowd. Some people they say are born bad, some say they are made bad…and some think it lies between the two extremes. These are all maxims that are bandied about. I believe love can move mountains. I like to think that there are some things worth fighting for. No matter how bad things are, there are still second chances that can happen and you can move forward. You cannot change someone who does not want to change. You cannot heal those who do not want to heal. You can only show the path. Either they will accept it or they will not. Sometimes one has to fight everything to help find a path that allows moving on. It is a spirit battle and there is no clear winner or loser except if they choose to find the wisdom. Sometimes one has to suspend belief and follow the calling of the beating heart. Sometimes one has to tell truth that no one wants to hear. The path to wisdom is determining the direction of that path. The problem is that sometimes exhaustion, continual work and running in the same standards just spins wheels. The more the wheels spin, the deeper one digs into the mud. The mud covers everything. The wheels get stuck in the mud. Nothing moves. People fight to move forward and yet the wheels just dig deeper. Sometimes caring is to wait and try again later. Sometimes it means walking away if you think you are making things worse.
The worst part of this is trying to figure out where the line is to be drawn. How long do you allow yourself and those around you to be beat up trying to make a difference? Sometimes tears are not enough. Sometimes pouring your heart and soul into something results in no movement. Sometimes you have to sideline your path to take care of other business. There are times when things are too fresh to deal with it. There are times when others do not love themselves enough. There are also times when fear keeps them from moving forward. Life is a balancing act. One can only give and hope that it changes one little corner of your world. It doesn’t always mean that you will get instant results. But, there is potential that the one act can create ripples that open other hearts to the possibility of making change. Sometimes the change is for others who see the wisdom. In this case, there is a win.
People always are talking about putting your own needs first…and then you can help others. There are times when even this gets put to the wayside to try to give hope and comfort to another. I would willingly open metaphorical doors and free someone from bondage in their own minds. Imagination is a great super power. But, when is this wisdom and when is it insanity? I have yet to find that fine line. It does not stem from a need to please people, though it is nice when I can do so. I often don’t care what people think of me. Let’s face it, it is a solitary path and makes me push against the wind. If people want to send the white jacket people for me, no one would be able to argue against it. Yet, I continue to not mind my own business and offer consideration for others. I continue to help those that have need of me. It can be overwhelming. Yet, I know I have to follow the flame that I see before me. It calls and I follow its call. It is a choice. I choose it daily. I will choose it unless it disappears. I do it willingly. I have to give myself to the direction that is demanded of me. I know the potential pitfalls of the path, at least some of them. I can see the road blocks…and not always perfectly. That is self-evident. Anyone following my Twitter knows that I have strange creative bursts of energy and sometimes humour.
“If you don’t love yourself, how the he** you gon’ love somebody else?” RuPaul. It is funny how one can find so many quotes that suggest that one should care for themselves first…which is important. Yet, they don’t acknowledge what things make up self-care. They also don’t acknowledge that there are situations when this is not a possibility. “With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side.” Susan Weiss Berry. Perhaps I do not understand the true essence of self-care as I find when I have success in helping another, I feel better about life and everything around me feels different. Is this my self-care? Who knows? I never had a good sense of this. When the world is out of balance, things feel unbalanced. It is like reawakened trauma. It is like being in a world of chaos. Thoughts and feelings act as though flying around in the stratosphere. There is no anchor and the storm is continual. It gets out of hand.
As Andrew Grove is credited with saying, “How well we communicate is determined not by how well we say things, but how well we are understood.” It is important that one know the substance of the conversation. If someone is talking about harm and they do it enough, someone is bound to believe them. This isn’t an excuse, it is a fact. Then when there is chaos, one is left with the impression that something quite negative is about to go down. Often this results in miscommunication, mistrust and chaos. This may not be a good thing. Situations occur where someone may understand one thing, when another completely is meant. Things spin out of control. Then the next communication is misunderstood and before we know it, as Henry Powell Spring is credited with saying, “The Spirit and Beings continue unselfishly to maintain life upon our planet, restoring us nightly, and forgiving us our wilful blindnesses far beyond our spiritual or bodily capacity of repayment. If the Spirit, Who is Life, exacted an eye for an eye, or a tooth for a tooth, this world would indeed be peopled with the blind and the toothless.” An interesting thought when we live in a world where children are used against parents, people who are different are put on high alert and there is no balance in the conversations. I still put out my truth because you never know if there is some benefit to someone and the universe is a mysterious place.
Even when all else fails, I am what I am, I do what I do and I continue to do it. Maybe someone needs it. Maybe I’m just spending time online amusing myself. I am needed when I am needed. Otherwise, it is always interesting to see what usefulness is and that it is only gauged by others. I make my own decisions in this. I cannot make decisions for others. I cannot make decisions without having input. But, I make my own choices and I cannot account for the choices of others. You cannot make a wish and find what you wish for and then decide that it isn’t a fit for you. You can, but then what do you wish for? Will you wish for bigger, better, faster? When will you be enough? The gift doesn’t go away. The ability doesn’t go away. Love doesn’t go away. It comes in all sizes, shapes, colours and denominations.
The ultimate question is “who are you and why do I care?” Bender (Futurama). The ultimate answer is how much does it matter? It is easy to care; it is harder to care responsibly without using and abusing the privilege. The challenge is to know how to make that choice and when it is right for us. The challenge is to become who and what we are intended to be despite obstacles and despite ourselves. The last part is the one that is most difficult to overcome. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
E. Jean Simpson
The world is busy telling everyone that they need to step away, ignore others, you only get what you give; hate those who are different from yourself. Money is King … or Queen as the case may be and the crown is constantly up for grabs. Often you see the motto of give up, give in and follow the crowd. Some people they say are born bad, some say they are made bad…and some think it lies between the two extremes. These are all maxims that are bandied about. I believe love can move mountains. I like to think that there are some things worth fighting for. No matter how bad things are, there are still second chances that can happen and you can move forward. You cannot change someone who does not want to change. You cannot heal those who do not want to heal. You can only show the path. Either they will accept it or they will not. Sometimes one has to fight everything to help find a path that allows moving on. It is a spirit battle and there is no clear winner or loser except if they choose to find the wisdom. Sometimes one has to suspend belief and follow the calling of the beating heart. Sometimes one has to tell truth that no one wants to hear. The path to wisdom is determining the direction of that path. The problem is that sometimes exhaustion, continual work and running in the same standards just spins wheels. The more the wheels spin, the deeper one digs into the mud. The mud covers everything. The wheels get stuck in the mud. Nothing moves. People fight to move forward and yet the wheels just dig deeper. Sometimes caring is to wait and try again later. Sometimes it means walking away if you think you are making things worse.
The worst part of this is trying to figure out where the line is to be drawn. How long do you allow yourself and those around you to be beat up trying to make a difference? Sometimes tears are not enough. Sometimes pouring your heart and soul into something results in no movement. Sometimes you have to sideline your path to take care of other business. There are times when things are too fresh to deal with it. There are times when others do not love themselves enough. There are also times when fear keeps them from moving forward. Life is a balancing act. One can only give and hope that it changes one little corner of your world. It doesn’t always mean that you will get instant results. But, there is potential that the one act can create ripples that open other hearts to the possibility of making change. Sometimes the change is for others who see the wisdom. In this case, there is a win.
People always are talking about putting your own needs first…and then you can help others. There are times when even this gets put to the wayside to try to give hope and comfort to another. I would willingly open metaphorical doors and free someone from bondage in their own minds. Imagination is a great super power. But, when is this wisdom and when is it insanity? I have yet to find that fine line. It does not stem from a need to please people, though it is nice when I can do so. I often don’t care what people think of me. Let’s face it, it is a solitary path and makes me push against the wind. If people want to send the white jacket people for me, no one would be able to argue against it. Yet, I continue to not mind my own business and offer consideration for others. I continue to help those that have need of me. It can be overwhelming. Yet, I know I have to follow the flame that I see before me. It calls and I follow its call. It is a choice. I choose it daily. I will choose it unless it disappears. I do it willingly. I have to give myself to the direction that is demanded of me. I know the potential pitfalls of the path, at least some of them. I can see the road blocks…and not always perfectly. That is self-evident. Anyone following my Twitter knows that I have strange creative bursts of energy and sometimes humour.
“If you don’t love yourself, how the he** you gon’ love somebody else?” RuPaul. It is funny how one can find so many quotes that suggest that one should care for themselves first…which is important. Yet, they don’t acknowledge what things make up self-care. They also don’t acknowledge that there are situations when this is not a possibility. “With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side.” Susan Weiss Berry. Perhaps I do not understand the true essence of self-care as I find when I have success in helping another, I feel better about life and everything around me feels different. Is this my self-care? Who knows? I never had a good sense of this. When the world is out of balance, things feel unbalanced. It is like reawakened trauma. It is like being in a world of chaos. Thoughts and feelings act as though flying around in the stratosphere. There is no anchor and the storm is continual. It gets out of hand.
As Andrew Grove is credited with saying, “How well we communicate is determined not by how well we say things, but how well we are understood.” It is important that one know the substance of the conversation. If someone is talking about harm and they do it enough, someone is bound to believe them. This isn’t an excuse, it is a fact. Then when there is chaos, one is left with the impression that something quite negative is about to go down. Often this results in miscommunication, mistrust and chaos. This may not be a good thing. Situations occur where someone may understand one thing, when another completely is meant. Things spin out of control. Then the next communication is misunderstood and before we know it, as Henry Powell Spring is credited with saying, “The Spirit and Beings continue unselfishly to maintain life upon our planet, restoring us nightly, and forgiving us our wilful blindnesses far beyond our spiritual or bodily capacity of repayment. If the Spirit, Who is Life, exacted an eye for an eye, or a tooth for a tooth, this world would indeed be peopled with the blind and the toothless.” An interesting thought when we live in a world where children are used against parents, people who are different are put on high alert and there is no balance in the conversations. I still put out my truth because you never know if there is some benefit to someone and the universe is a mysterious place.
Even when all else fails, I am what I am, I do what I do and I continue to do it. Maybe someone needs it. Maybe I’m just spending time online amusing myself. I am needed when I am needed. Otherwise, it is always interesting to see what usefulness is and that it is only gauged by others. I make my own decisions in this. I cannot make decisions for others. I cannot make decisions without having input. But, I make my own choices and I cannot account for the choices of others. You cannot make a wish and find what you wish for and then decide that it isn’t a fit for you. You can, but then what do you wish for? Will you wish for bigger, better, faster? When will you be enough? The gift doesn’t go away. The ability doesn’t go away. Love doesn’t go away. It comes in all sizes, shapes, colours and denominations.
The ultimate question is “who are you and why do I care?” Bender (Futurama). The ultimate answer is how much does it matter? It is easy to care; it is harder to care responsibly without using and abusing the privilege. The challenge is to know how to make that choice and when it is right for us. The challenge is to become who and what we are intended to be despite obstacles and despite ourselves. The last part is the one that is most difficult to overcome. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
E. Jean Simpson
June 10, 2023
Philosophy
Hi and Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson Author Blog Post and Podcast. I’m your host, Jean coming to you from the beautiful Province of Prince Edward Island, Canada!! The blog post and podcast is an opinion piece and only reflects this author’s opinion and not that of any other entity. I hold no designations in politics, economics or medicine. I am retired from the mental health field. I am a humanitarian and speak from that viewpoint only. Whether you agree with me or not, at least I hope it makes you think. This week I look at a bit of William Shakespeare and a few things that pop into my head. Hold on to your seats, this one is a stream of consciousness and those sometimes get to be bumpy. If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…!
My first degree I did an English Major and a History Minor (incidentally the difference between majors and minors is the number of courses needed). I moved on to two other degrees, but never lost my passion for learning new things and exploring concepts. Never took a philosophy course in my life because I didn’t care whether or not you could hear the tree falling in the woods or not. It seemed pretty inconsequential…as did the idea of sitting on a roof howling at the moon. My brother was into philosophy and I remember him talking about this activity. It didn’t hit me as something I would be interested in. I was always too realistic to enjoy it…I didn’t feel that it would expand my mind in the least and I felt it might be constricting to me. I fell in love with literature, history, old English, Ancient Egyptian history. I think it is esoteric philosophy. They say “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” – George Santayana. We see so much of it. Even today, we are still fighting the same battles that we were fighting hundreds of years ago. They haven’t changed in all this time. We still do not tolerate our fellow humans based on race, religion or colour. We still fight over territory. We still hate each other based on these faulty concepts.
There is a great quote from William Shakespeare, “There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” People seem to look at only what they can see, hear, taste and smell. There is more than we can see in life. Sometimes there are connections, abilities and strengths that we cannot see. Sometimes there are needs that we don’t understand. Sometimes there are actions we take and don’t know why. Yet, when someone follows it we are judged as incompetent and incapable or crazy. The world is a strange and varied place. They talk about miracles … most religions have some sort of creed concerning this. Dead who don’t decompose…in some churches are saints. Sometimes connections exist which are inexplicable. No one seems to know what makes them. I can find all sorts of and most call them miracles … and they all seem to be associated with Christianity.
I can tell you that there are many different phenomenons out there having nothing to do with churches. There is the miracle where spring comes and flowers pop up. There is the process by which you grow, change and evolve. There is the wonder of getting up every morning and seeing another day. No one thinks about these as miracles. They’re just part of life. There is the inexplicable condition where love transcends everything as you answer the call of another human being. There are the astonishing cases where someone is willing to sacrifice everything for the greater good. They happen every day. We don’t document every one of them. No one seems to notice them much. There are things like the smell of flowers, grass, trees, and the living creatures on earth. They are all different and special. There is the inspiration of seeing a butterfly or a rainbow or the sun coming out of the clouds. They are all miracles. We just want to see the big flashy ones that everyone wants to report on or talk about. Why is this? There are so many unexplained things in the world and yet we only want the big flashy ones? There is also the act of helping people to move to the next step and doing so with love and compassion. Any act of love or compassion can change the world. Yet we sit back. Whether or not we understand the situation, we can only act in ways that we understand…we can only deal with the information we have. We don’t always understand the path. We don’t always understand the reason behind what we need to do. We cannot act properly or according to the path if we do not know what we are dealing with. Sometimes there is a miracle and sometimes there is just some blip that falls by the wayside. But, we won’t know unless we take the chance to move forward. Some people live in fear from psychic pain…some live with trauma. It is not an easy path, but there is always love to make the miracle.
As Frantz Fanon is credited with saying, “yes, the real miracles are the thousands of tiny people who know exactly what they are doing. I used to look for inspiration in higher places but the higher you go like to Plato or God the less space there is in which to stand.” In this there is great wisdom. It is often easier to act when one knows what the path is. Most times one doesn’t know what the path is, one can trip across opportunities. One thing that, at least for me, would never help me to find wisdom or move forward would be chemical substances. There is a difference between medications and self-medication. When you want your miracle, you cannot self-medicate, at least in my world. You cannot kill pain in this way. You cannot find your freedom. You cannot find your destiny. Destiny is hard to come across. When you come across a mission, a destiny, any opportunity, you need to be clear and real.
As Thich Nhat Hanh is credited with saying, “...The miracle is not to walk on water or in thin air, but to walk on Earth. Walk in such a way that you become fully alive, and joy and happiness are possible. That is the miracle that everyone can perform....If you have mindfulness, concentration, and insight then every step you make on this Earth is performing a miracle.” This is the philosophy which I have learned to walk in the world with my own footsteps and moving in light and love. I make my own path. Do I make mistakes? Oh yes, possibly even catastrophic ones but I make my own mistakes. If I fear to tread because I might make a mistake, then I cease to be able to function. There are very few things that can be irredeemable. Sometimes they exist. Sometimes they just seem that way. I haven’t come up with the wisdom to entirely tell the difference. I just know that I walk my path and my husband is with me. Whether I walk the solitary path or not, I continue to move forward and understand that sometimes the path of love means putting down one’s foot and not enabling others. I make amends when I do wrong. I reach out when I think it is needed. If I am wrong, then I am wrong. I will be answerable to myself and sometimes that is the hardest part. That is the most painful. I feel my mistakes the most. I feel pain for others when they are in pain. Am I weird? You bet. Is it a hard path…yes. Am I happy, not always. It’s OK to not be happy always. It’s OK to sit with some pain. It’s also OK if you need to shut down. If you’re not OK that’s OK too…but find a way to become OK. Metaphorically, the monsters don’t always hide under the bed sometimes they rest waiting inside of us to be triggered. That’s something that one has to learn to live with.
“Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.” – A Course in Miracles. The real mystery is not living though it is one of them; the real marvel is continuing to love even when there is no reason to and no cause to. Love can move mountains and deliver us from our own self-illusions and from destruction. Love can save and heal. I’m always amazed at the rockers that people call out over ‘devil’ images (Black Sabbath and KISS for example). For example, have you ever listen to Crazy Train…it talks about the damages done by hate. God of Thunder by KISS…where they sing about the ravages that can come with the music world that can “rob you of your virgin soul”. These are just two and are the ones, when you listen to the words show the importance of love, tolerance and realness…and yet they are the monsters. Remember, in this world, “…if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”Friedrich Nietzsche. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
Write up:
Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson author podcast and blog post. This week I write a stream of consciousness blog…that can become a bumpy ride. If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…!
My first degree I did an English Major and a History Minor (incidentally the difference between majors and minors is the number of courses needed). I moved on to two other degrees, but never lost my passion for learning new things and exploring concepts. Never took a philosophy course in my life because I didn’t care whether or not you could hear the tree falling in the woods or not. It seemed pretty inconsequential…as did the idea of sitting on a roof howling at the moon. My brother was into philosophy and I remember him talking about this activity. It didn’t hit me as something I would be interested in. I was always too realistic to enjoy it…I didn’t feel that it would expand my mind in the least and I felt it might be constricting to me. I fell in love with literature, history, old English, Ancient Egyptian history. I think it is esoteric philosophy. They say “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” – George Santayana. We see so much of it. Even today, we are still fighting the same battles that we were fighting hundreds of years ago. They haven’t changed in all this time. We still do not tolerate our fellow humans based on race, religion or colour. We still fight over territory. We still hate each other based on these faulty concepts.
There is a great quote from William Shakespeare, “There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” People seem to look at only what they can see, hear, taste and smell. There is more than we can see in life. Sometimes there are connections, abilities and strengths that we cannot see. Sometimes there are needs that we don’t understand. Sometimes there are actions we take and don’t know why. Yet, when someone follows it we are judged as incompetent and incapable or crazy. The world is a strange and varied place. They talk about miracles … most religions have some sort of creed concerning this. Dead who don’t decompose…in some churches are saints. Sometimes connections exist which are inexplicable. No one seems to know what makes them. I can find all sorts of and most call them miracles … and they all seem to be associated with Christianity.
I can tell you that there are many different phenomenons out there having nothing to do with churches. There is the miracle where spring comes and flowers pop up. There is the process by which you grow, change and evolve. There is the wonder of getting up every morning and seeing another day. No one thinks about these as miracles. They’re just part of life. There is the inexplicable condition where love transcends everything as you answer the call of another human being. There are the astonishing cases where someone is willing to sacrifice everything for the greater good. They happen every day. We don’t document every one of them. No one seems to notice them much. There are things like the smell of flowers, grass, trees, and the living creatures on earth. They are all different and special. There is the inspiration of seeing a butterfly or a rainbow or the sun coming out of the clouds. They are all miracles. We just want to see the big flashy ones that everyone wants to report on or talk about. Why is this? There are so many unexplained things in the world and yet we only want the big flashy ones? There is also the act of helping people to move to the next step and doing so with love and compassion. Any act of love or compassion can change the world. Yet we sit back. Whether or not we understand the situation, we can only act in ways that we understand…we can only deal with the information we have. We don’t always understand the path. We don’t always understand the reason behind what we need to do. We cannot act properly or according to the path if we do not know what we are dealing with. Sometimes there is a miracle and sometimes there is just some blip that falls by the wayside. But, we won’t know unless we take the chance to move forward. Some people live in fear from psychic pain…some live with trauma. It is not an easy path, but there is always love to make the miracle.
As Frantz Fanon is credited with saying, “yes, the real miracles are the thousands of tiny people who know exactly what they are doing. I used to look for inspiration in higher places but the higher you go like to Plato or God the less space there is in which to stand.” In this there is great wisdom. It is often easier to act when one knows what the path is. Most times one doesn’t know what the path is, one can trip across opportunities. One thing that, at least for me, would never help me to find wisdom or move forward would be chemical substances. There is a difference between medications and self-medication. When you want your miracle, you cannot self-medicate, at least in my world. You cannot kill pain in this way. You cannot find your freedom. You cannot find your destiny. Destiny is hard to come across. When you come across a mission, a destiny, any opportunity, you need to be clear and real.
As Thich Nhat Hanh is credited with saying, “...The miracle is not to walk on water or in thin air, but to walk on Earth. Walk in such a way that you become fully alive, and joy and happiness are possible. That is the miracle that everyone can perform....If you have mindfulness, concentration, and insight then every step you make on this Earth is performing a miracle.” This is the philosophy which I have learned to walk in the world with my own footsteps and moving in light and love. I make my own path. Do I make mistakes? Oh yes, possibly even catastrophic ones but I make my own mistakes. If I fear to tread because I might make a mistake, then I cease to be able to function. There are very few things that can be irredeemable. Sometimes they exist. Sometimes they just seem that way. I haven’t come up with the wisdom to entirely tell the difference. I just know that I walk my path and my husband is with me. Whether I walk the solitary path or not, I continue to move forward and understand that sometimes the path of love means putting down one’s foot and not enabling others. I make amends when I do wrong. I reach out when I think it is needed. If I am wrong, then I am wrong. I will be answerable to myself and sometimes that is the hardest part. That is the most painful. I feel my mistakes the most. I feel pain for others when they are in pain. Am I weird? You bet. Is it a hard path…yes. Am I happy, not always. It’s OK to not be happy always. It’s OK to sit with some pain. It’s also OK if you need to shut down. If you’re not OK that’s OK too…but find a way to become OK. Metaphorically, the monsters don’t always hide under the bed sometimes they rest waiting inside of us to be triggered. That’s something that one has to learn to live with.
“Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.” – A Course in Miracles. The real mystery is not living though it is one of them; the real marvel is continuing to love even when there is no reason to and no cause to. Love can move mountains and deliver us from our own self-illusions and from destruction. Love can save and heal. I’m always amazed at the rockers that people call out over ‘devil’ images (Black Sabbath and KISS for example). For example, have you ever listen to Crazy Train…it talks about the damages done by hate. God of Thunder by KISS…where they sing about the ravages that can come with the music world that can “rob you of your virgin soul”. These are just two and are the ones, when you listen to the words show the importance of love, tolerance and realness…and yet they are the monsters. Remember, in this world, “…if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”Friedrich Nietzsche. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
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Write up:
Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson author podcast and blog post. This week I write a stream of consciousness blog…that can become a bumpy ride. If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…!
June 3, 2023
I-Hate
Hi and Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson Author Blog Post and Podcast. I’m your host, Jean coming to you from the beautiful Province of Prince Edward Island, Canada!! The blog post and podcast is an opinion piece and only reflects this author’s opinion and not that of any other entity. I hold no designations in politics, economics or medicine. I am retired from the mental health field. I am a humanitarian and speak from that viewpoint only. Whether you agree with me or not, at least I hope it makes you think. This week I look at hate and its causes, cures and some things I hate. If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…!
First, I don’t know if it is a good idea to focus on hate, but nonetheless many people seem bent on doing so. So, before I go into a rant, it is best to define it. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines hate as: “intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury.” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dicti.... This is one of the statements on the page about hate. There are a few others. It seems the most inclusive and other statements give finer points…if finer points are the right words. This makes a point that I like to drag out…” it is usually derived from fear, anger or sense of injury”. I have found that to be the most interesting, sad and frightening thing about hate. We now have studies, schools and journals out to try to investigate this (eg. The Journal of Hate Studies https://www.gonzaga.edu/academics/cen... and The Centre for Hate Studies https://le.ac.uk/hate-studies/research ). Some ground work for those who have an interest in addressing or understanding this better. This is an area ripe for study and finding ways to abolish hate. It seems to be a terrible scourge that has done more damage to humanity than anything else.
The one thing that I find there is a lot of in this world seems to be hate. It is phenomenal to me the hate directed at the LGBTQ+ community and that people would go so far as to abolish someone in drag reading to children but yet, seem happy enough for these same children to be used as target practice for shooters in schools and see nothing wrong with it. This article addresses the political struggle for reading to children while dressed in drag https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-p.... I cannot see someone dressed in drag as being a threat. The sad thing about this is that they make up such a small percentage of the population. It seems rather strange to be so frightened by them. They aren’t the ones going around shooting their kids in their schools. Still other’s focus on Asian people https://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-co... and others on other races https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/two-fl... and these are just two examples. These are recent and one can just follow their news feed and find all such information on this. Of course, there are also religious groups being targeted. https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/repor... For example, there seems an increase in anti-Semitic crimes. This makes things frightening for people. One of the problems is a historical one in that Jewish people have been targeted by Europeans for centuries. It had become ingrained. We also have hate crimes against First Nations People https://www.albertanativenews.com/off... . In this article there is suggestion that it is under-reported for reason of the historical treatment at the hands of law etc in Canada. Now, this is also a possible problem for many of the minority groups. I use minority groups to describe the groups that have been marginalized over time. So, it is something that we need to be aware of. We only see the tip of the ice berg. We don’t see the comments, the things said by people without thinking that cause pain and don’t get reported. We don’t see everything and we cannot know the true rate of issues caused. I cannot hope to give all the examples in this short blog post, but this gives a small overview.
At the same time, there are also many articles on how to prevent hate crimes in the area. https://www.splcenter.org/20170814/te... is just one article I picked at random that deals with how to fight hate in your community. It can be done. I would never suggest someone endanger their own lives. I would suggest that maybe official channels need to be employed. In fact, they do encourage reporting of hate crimes. They point out that hate sometimes masquerades as civic pride movements. Don’t be fooled. This article tells you some actions that you can take. The most important thing that they suggest is that you educate yourself. They also suggest that people need to be aware and not follow the finger pointing route. They give examples of what this means. It seems to be an illness that can affect whole communities and destroy whole groups. This is actually a very interesting article and I would suggest that it would make good reading for those who are interested. This article also gives advice on dealing with hate speech. https://www.stompoutbullying.org/blog... and suggests ‘counterspeech’ which they suggest exists of “speaking up about equality, inclusivity, and diversity”. This seems a logical step in dealing with it. Sometimes I wonder if pointing out the negative is giving them more ‘press time’ than they deserve and helping the ‘dark side’. This is something that everyone has to decide for themselves.
It is not a new idea to respect each other and end hate. Hate speech and hate crimes have been around at least since ancient Rome where it became a thing to feed Christians to the Lions https://www.crimemuseum.org/crime-lib... and probably longer. As Dwight D Eisenhower is credited with saying, “This world of ours... must avoid becoming a community of dreadful fear and hate, and be, instead, a proud confederation of mutual trust and respect.” Politically it is interesting where this comes from. If you want to be shocked look it up. How can we have come so far from this sentiment? Is this misquoted…have they changed their minds? An interesting thing to consider with this quote is the originating party.
As far back as the time of Confucius people were exploring and talking about hate and love, “It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.” So, readers and listeners, it is something that we all need to consider. Do we want a bitter world or a better world? You have a choice, you have a voice, you have a life and you need to decide how to make it count. I see people stand up to negative rhetoric on Twitter. I follow people who use their power to try to confront hate and work toward a better world. Some of them are elderly now. It is up to the next generations to also help to bear this burden and stand up for what is right, good and caring in this world. If not, we may not have a world to live on. Hate seems to act like a virulent virus on the people it infects. I end this post with a thought from Booker T Washington who said, “I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.” I still like to think that the wielding the power of kindness, love and compassion will still overcome the powers of hate and darkness. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
First, I don’t know if it is a good idea to focus on hate, but nonetheless many people seem bent on doing so. So, before I go into a rant, it is best to define it. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines hate as: “intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury.” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dicti.... This is one of the statements on the page about hate. There are a few others. It seems the most inclusive and other statements give finer points…if finer points are the right words. This makes a point that I like to drag out…” it is usually derived from fear, anger or sense of injury”. I have found that to be the most interesting, sad and frightening thing about hate. We now have studies, schools and journals out to try to investigate this (eg. The Journal of Hate Studies https://www.gonzaga.edu/academics/cen... and The Centre for Hate Studies https://le.ac.uk/hate-studies/research ). Some ground work for those who have an interest in addressing or understanding this better. This is an area ripe for study and finding ways to abolish hate. It seems to be a terrible scourge that has done more damage to humanity than anything else.
The one thing that I find there is a lot of in this world seems to be hate. It is phenomenal to me the hate directed at the LGBTQ+ community and that people would go so far as to abolish someone in drag reading to children but yet, seem happy enough for these same children to be used as target practice for shooters in schools and see nothing wrong with it. This article addresses the political struggle for reading to children while dressed in drag https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-p.... I cannot see someone dressed in drag as being a threat. The sad thing about this is that they make up such a small percentage of the population. It seems rather strange to be so frightened by them. They aren’t the ones going around shooting their kids in their schools. Still other’s focus on Asian people https://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-co... and others on other races https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/two-fl... and these are just two examples. These are recent and one can just follow their news feed and find all such information on this. Of course, there are also religious groups being targeted. https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/repor... For example, there seems an increase in anti-Semitic crimes. This makes things frightening for people. One of the problems is a historical one in that Jewish people have been targeted by Europeans for centuries. It had become ingrained. We also have hate crimes against First Nations People https://www.albertanativenews.com/off... . In this article there is suggestion that it is under-reported for reason of the historical treatment at the hands of law etc in Canada. Now, this is also a possible problem for many of the minority groups. I use minority groups to describe the groups that have been marginalized over time. So, it is something that we need to be aware of. We only see the tip of the ice berg. We don’t see the comments, the things said by people without thinking that cause pain and don’t get reported. We don’t see everything and we cannot know the true rate of issues caused. I cannot hope to give all the examples in this short blog post, but this gives a small overview.
At the same time, there are also many articles on how to prevent hate crimes in the area. https://www.splcenter.org/20170814/te... is just one article I picked at random that deals with how to fight hate in your community. It can be done. I would never suggest someone endanger their own lives. I would suggest that maybe official channels need to be employed. In fact, they do encourage reporting of hate crimes. They point out that hate sometimes masquerades as civic pride movements. Don’t be fooled. This article tells you some actions that you can take. The most important thing that they suggest is that you educate yourself. They also suggest that people need to be aware and not follow the finger pointing route. They give examples of what this means. It seems to be an illness that can affect whole communities and destroy whole groups. This is actually a very interesting article and I would suggest that it would make good reading for those who are interested. This article also gives advice on dealing with hate speech. https://www.stompoutbullying.org/blog... and suggests ‘counterspeech’ which they suggest exists of “speaking up about equality, inclusivity, and diversity”. This seems a logical step in dealing with it. Sometimes I wonder if pointing out the negative is giving them more ‘press time’ than they deserve and helping the ‘dark side’. This is something that everyone has to decide for themselves.
It is not a new idea to respect each other and end hate. Hate speech and hate crimes have been around at least since ancient Rome where it became a thing to feed Christians to the Lions https://www.crimemuseum.org/crime-lib... and probably longer. As Dwight D Eisenhower is credited with saying, “This world of ours... must avoid becoming a community of dreadful fear and hate, and be, instead, a proud confederation of mutual trust and respect.” Politically it is interesting where this comes from. If you want to be shocked look it up. How can we have come so far from this sentiment? Is this misquoted…have they changed their minds? An interesting thing to consider with this quote is the originating party.
As far back as the time of Confucius people were exploring and talking about hate and love, “It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.” So, readers and listeners, it is something that we all need to consider. Do we want a bitter world or a better world? You have a choice, you have a voice, you have a life and you need to decide how to make it count. I see people stand up to negative rhetoric on Twitter. I follow people who use their power to try to confront hate and work toward a better world. Some of them are elderly now. It is up to the next generations to also help to bear this burden and stand up for what is right, good and caring in this world. If not, we may not have a world to live on. Hate seems to act like a virulent virus on the people it infects. I end this post with a thought from Booker T Washington who said, “I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.” I still like to think that the wielding the power of kindness, love and compassion will still overcome the powers of hate and darkness. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
May 27, 2023
Life After Retirement?
Hi and Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson Author Blog Post and Podcast. I’m your host, Jean coming to you from the beautiful Province of Prince Edward Island, Canada!! The blog post and podcast is an opinion piece and only reflects this author’s opinion and not that of any other entity. I hold no designations in politics, economics or medicine. I am retired from the mental health field. I am a humanitarian and speak from that viewpoint only. Whether you agree with me or not, at least I hope it makes you think. This week I look at life after retirement. If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…!
Since I had to stop work early on due to multiple causes, I find that interests and ideas change. The most disturbing thing that I find is that often the ideas are less tolerant and the activities less sane than they had been when I was younger. Not that we always took sane actions, but there seems to be more footage showing it. For example, the news of the day was about banning people in drag from reading to children
https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-p.... Now to be honest, I have to respect anyone who will walk into a library and try to read anything to children. If you think it is easy to keep kids entertained long enough to read a book to them, I’m sure you’ll be surprised. With all the media and games that they are playing, most of them likely have little ability to sit and listen for long. If someone wants to read to them in drag, I say, let them read. Read on. Many kids have no one reading to them. My last concern is whether they are dressed in drag or not. Personally, I wouldn’t have the patience to sit and read to the little darlings. Retirement has its perks. Apparently they don’t want kids to have ‘sexual information’ read to them. I very much doubt that they are reading “sexual how to” books to kids. Giving kids some information about Drag Queens isn’t going to ensure that we get a whole generation of drag queens. It just gives kids one more option along with fireman, nurse, doctor, mechanic, and carpenter. Now in the meantime, why are we looking at what people wear and where they use the bathroom? I often wonder, being older and more cynical than I used to be, if this is just something to try to:
a) Appeal to a certain group and/or
b) To take people’s minds off some more serious issues that faces the country.
Being Canadian, I don’t know the real answer. It would take US people to think about that question. This is just one example of the lack of logic that bothers me since I retired.
They say to maintain a daily routine among other things https://wealthtender.com/insights/ret.... The article gives some advice. From what I have seen from some retired family members, before I came close to the age, was that there seems to be a never ending round of appointments for various issues. In our own retirement, there seems a never ending round of things that need to be done. Albeit we did leave the workforce a bit early which means serious budgeting and managing things around the house. Articles also suggest starting a new hobby…or in my case, dug out some old ones that I had done sporadically. These seem like good ideas. In practice, it is good to keep busy. Some people retire at younger ages than others. Some stay on longer. Interestingly, it seems that most article focus on the money aspect of things. Here’s the thing, life isn’t perfect and sometimes there isn’t a huge choice when it comes to retirement. There seems to be a gap in research for you research types out there when it comes to age of retirement. https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-189.... There are confounding factors. Ill health being one of the factors they discuss. Some studies suggest early retirement others suggest later retirement is ‘better’. When it comes to the game of life, there is no actual ‘better’ and it depends on many factors. This is what makes this area interesting to look at. From the money viewpoint, which seems the most salient, it seems later is suggested to be ‘better’ https://www.cnbc.com/2022/02/01/why-e... . So, either way, it is not an idea that should be taken lightly. One needs to give a great deal of thought as to whether to retire early or later on. The other thing that sometimes comes up for people is the workplace. Sometimes things change dramatically and the workplace gives the option to retire early and offers a package to do so. This is yet another thing that figures into one’s decision process on this matter. So, I would suggest that no matter what you choose to do, give it careful consideration and weigh the costs and benefits as they fit into your lifestyle.
Personally, I’ve been torn on the area of retirement. I’ve often said to one Aunt that it was a good thing that she had retired as she’d never have time for everything she does if she was still working. She’s kept up on many things. My husband has developed his woodworking skills. I’ve developed my cooking, baking, sewing skills and amuse myself and hopefully at least a few others with my playing on Twitter. If not, at least I amuse myself. Retirement seems to mean different things to different people. For some it is to spend more time with family, for others, there is no real retirement. Many celebrities seem to continue in the field in some form well pass ‘retirement’ age and excel in their chosen field.
As Fred Rogers is quoted with saying, “Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else.” This is true. Often in retirement, you find other skills and other interests that you did not spend time developing when you were working. There never seemed enough time to do the things you wanted to do. On the other hand, when you are retired, there seems never enough time in the day to do everything you want to do. So, it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference between retirement and employment. For those who love their jobs, there is no retirement. Some count the days till retirement, others enjoy their jobs. Still others are forced to retire. Some never get that chance.
Walt Mossberg is credit with saying, “I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself.” This is one of the more adventurous ideas on retirement. You get to reinvent yourself. Many try. Many find new ways of doing things, new ways of looking at the world and try new things for the first time. It is a stage of potential rediscovery. It is also a stage of potential pitfalls and false starts. It can be a time of renewal and finding out that you are at a whole new stage of life with whole new doors to examine and decide on. At the same time, it can be a time of trials in finding how to negotiate conditions that develop or that happen.
No matter how you feel about your life after retirement, as Max Ehrmann is credited with saying, “Life is your artwork. Create it! No one else can do it for you. You create it by seeing life, and living it to its fullest.” This is the part that many miss. Not everyone gets the chance to reach retirement. Some get to retirement whether or not they like it. Their health or circumstances enforce it. No matter what age you decide to retire, you are never free from having to make your own choices and live your own life. This is true for everyone until they are no longer among the living. Not everyone will agree on what living life to the fullest means. For different people it will have different meanings. Some choose to remain in the saddle and some choose to ride off into the sunset.
The one thing that you need to know is that as long as there is life, “You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.” ~ C.S. Lewis. Everyone has to make the choice of what to do with the life they have or the life they have been given. Whether it is retirement or just general life, we continually have to make choices. It’s up to every one of us to decide how we are going to use the time we are given. The one thing that is seldom readily available to us is how long we will have on this plane of existence. That is what makes life all the more precious and the use of our time more important. You can spend the end of our life in negative pursuits or you can spend the rest of your life in some positive and life affirming way. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
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Since I had to stop work early on due to multiple causes, I find that interests and ideas change. The most disturbing thing that I find is that often the ideas are less tolerant and the activities less sane than they had been when I was younger. Not that we always took sane actions, but there seems to be more footage showing it. For example, the news of the day was about banning people in drag from reading to children
https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-p.... Now to be honest, I have to respect anyone who will walk into a library and try to read anything to children. If you think it is easy to keep kids entertained long enough to read a book to them, I’m sure you’ll be surprised. With all the media and games that they are playing, most of them likely have little ability to sit and listen for long. If someone wants to read to them in drag, I say, let them read. Read on. Many kids have no one reading to them. My last concern is whether they are dressed in drag or not. Personally, I wouldn’t have the patience to sit and read to the little darlings. Retirement has its perks. Apparently they don’t want kids to have ‘sexual information’ read to them. I very much doubt that they are reading “sexual how to” books to kids. Giving kids some information about Drag Queens isn’t going to ensure that we get a whole generation of drag queens. It just gives kids one more option along with fireman, nurse, doctor, mechanic, and carpenter. Now in the meantime, why are we looking at what people wear and where they use the bathroom? I often wonder, being older and more cynical than I used to be, if this is just something to try to:
a) Appeal to a certain group and/or
b) To take people’s minds off some more serious issues that faces the country.
Being Canadian, I don’t know the real answer. It would take US people to think about that question. This is just one example of the lack of logic that bothers me since I retired.
They say to maintain a daily routine among other things https://wealthtender.com/insights/ret.... The article gives some advice. From what I have seen from some retired family members, before I came close to the age, was that there seems to be a never ending round of appointments for various issues. In our own retirement, there seems a never ending round of things that need to be done. Albeit we did leave the workforce a bit early which means serious budgeting and managing things around the house. Articles also suggest starting a new hobby…or in my case, dug out some old ones that I had done sporadically. These seem like good ideas. In practice, it is good to keep busy. Some people retire at younger ages than others. Some stay on longer. Interestingly, it seems that most article focus on the money aspect of things. Here’s the thing, life isn’t perfect and sometimes there isn’t a huge choice when it comes to retirement. There seems to be a gap in research for you research types out there when it comes to age of retirement. https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-189.... There are confounding factors. Ill health being one of the factors they discuss. Some studies suggest early retirement others suggest later retirement is ‘better’. When it comes to the game of life, there is no actual ‘better’ and it depends on many factors. This is what makes this area interesting to look at. From the money viewpoint, which seems the most salient, it seems later is suggested to be ‘better’ https://www.cnbc.com/2022/02/01/why-e... . So, either way, it is not an idea that should be taken lightly. One needs to give a great deal of thought as to whether to retire early or later on. The other thing that sometimes comes up for people is the workplace. Sometimes things change dramatically and the workplace gives the option to retire early and offers a package to do so. This is yet another thing that figures into one’s decision process on this matter. So, I would suggest that no matter what you choose to do, give it careful consideration and weigh the costs and benefits as they fit into your lifestyle.
Personally, I’ve been torn on the area of retirement. I’ve often said to one Aunt that it was a good thing that she had retired as she’d never have time for everything she does if she was still working. She’s kept up on many things. My husband has developed his woodworking skills. I’ve developed my cooking, baking, sewing skills and amuse myself and hopefully at least a few others with my playing on Twitter. If not, at least I amuse myself. Retirement seems to mean different things to different people. For some it is to spend more time with family, for others, there is no real retirement. Many celebrities seem to continue in the field in some form well pass ‘retirement’ age and excel in their chosen field.
As Fred Rogers is quoted with saying, “Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else.” This is true. Often in retirement, you find other skills and other interests that you did not spend time developing when you were working. There never seemed enough time to do the things you wanted to do. On the other hand, when you are retired, there seems never enough time in the day to do everything you want to do. So, it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference between retirement and employment. For those who love their jobs, there is no retirement. Some count the days till retirement, others enjoy their jobs. Still others are forced to retire. Some never get that chance.
Walt Mossberg is credit with saying, “I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself.” This is one of the more adventurous ideas on retirement. You get to reinvent yourself. Many try. Many find new ways of doing things, new ways of looking at the world and try new things for the first time. It is a stage of potential rediscovery. It is also a stage of potential pitfalls and false starts. It can be a time of renewal and finding out that you are at a whole new stage of life with whole new doors to examine and decide on. At the same time, it can be a time of trials in finding how to negotiate conditions that develop or that happen.
No matter how you feel about your life after retirement, as Max Ehrmann is credited with saying, “Life is your artwork. Create it! No one else can do it for you. You create it by seeing life, and living it to its fullest.” This is the part that many miss. Not everyone gets the chance to reach retirement. Some get to retirement whether or not they like it. Their health or circumstances enforce it. No matter what age you decide to retire, you are never free from having to make your own choices and live your own life. This is true for everyone until they are no longer among the living. Not everyone will agree on what living life to the fullest means. For different people it will have different meanings. Some choose to remain in the saddle and some choose to ride off into the sunset.
The one thing that you need to know is that as long as there is life, “You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.” ~ C.S. Lewis. Everyone has to make the choice of what to do with the life they have or the life they have been given. Whether it is retirement or just general life, we continually have to make choices. It’s up to every one of us to decide how we are going to use the time we are given. The one thing that is seldom readily available to us is how long we will have on this plane of existence. That is what makes life all the more precious and the use of our time more important. You can spend the end of our life in negative pursuits or you can spend the rest of your life in some positive and life affirming way. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
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Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
A & J PEI Treasures/E Jean Simpson, BEd, BA, MA
A & J PEI Treasures is located on Prince Edward Island, Canada. We are a husband and wife team and our companion animals. There are a number of things that drew us to the Island…one of which was the n
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