Paula R.C. Readman's Blog, page 6

Peace

What things give you energy?

“You cannot change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails to always reach your destination.” – Jimmy Dean

You wake up one day and you realise the world is out of sync with you. It has all been a game and no one had told you the rules, or explained the game.

Along with the grief of the last two months and the accident with the dog that caused the tearing of my thigh muscle, I feel depleted both mental and physical energy. The normal everyday activities are beyond my control leaving me feeling exhausted and vulnerable. I’m sure others are bored of hearing me complaining about being laid up for the next eight to twelve weeks.

I’m busy painting while stuck on my bed with a torn thigh muscle.

Today, even I fed up with feeling depressed about my situation. The time has come to fight back and stand up for myself even though it is bl@@dy painful to do so.

In my past, I never had anyone fighting in my corner and fought tooth and nail for what I have achieved today. I need to find my stronger self again and believe in her this will stop me from feeling sorry for myself.

What gives me energy?

A long walk along the footpaths around the countryside where I live. An early morning walk clears my mind, but with a torn thigh muscle walking any distance is out of the question. I can just about walk around my garden.

Not quite finished yet.

So now, I’m going to focus on drawing and painting, getting ready for my art exhibition next year.

Time to put the past back where it belongs, in the past and move forward with my life. Peace and happiness must be restored and the only way to do that is to work hard at it.

Smile and the whole world smiles with you. Cry and you cry alone.

So from now on I am going to create my own happiness and recharge my energy.

Thank you for dropping by.

Keep on smiling

Pollution.

Which topics would you like to be more informed about?

Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s need, but not every man’s greed.

Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948), quoted in EF Schumacher, Small is Beautiful.

Of course, I know what pollution is and how wasteful humans are but what I want to know is just how much time we have left before it’s too late.

We all know we need to be more mindful of just how much waste we create. A visit to the local rubbish tip and you can see how much people throw away.

In Britain, the gap between to the have and have nots has increased significantly. Poverty is high in this country and we can’t keep on paying out benefits. People need to work their way out of poverty. I’ve always tried to live with in my means as I worked full-time to support my son and keep a roof over our heads.

In the past, there was less choice for people to spend their money on, and shops were closed on Sundays.

Things like clothes changed with the seasons rather than changing constant as fashion suppliers launch a new ranges. It’s the same with technology constantly being updated rather than being built to last.

A ruined farm is now a home to an incinerator

I would love to know more about green energy as I don’t think it is as green as we all think. You only need to think about how long rechargeable batteries last between charges. Not forgetting the numbers of fires created by charging the batteries. Then the destruction of the planet as we mine for the minerals needed for our modern technology.

If we are going to have a brighter future we all need to just buy what we need rather than buying everything we want.

Thank you for reading my post.

Chat again soon.

A world without sound

What would your life be like without music?

Without music, life would be a mistake. Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols .

Without the music of life, the world would be a silent place. Okay, so this might not be true. Humans have always been noisy creatures.

In today’s world we don’t know how to be quiet. Sounds of traffic, aircraft, and human voices fill the air constantly. During Covid lockdowns the planet became a quieter place and it was easy to imagine what the world was like a hundred years ago.

Now, for me, the music of life is the soundtrack of nature. Walk through a woodland or forest in early springtime and listen to the birds. In the summer time a meadow is full of the hum of insects as bees gather pollen. The sound of the wind through the branches of the trees or the sound of rain and even thunder is the true music of life.

Bush cricket

Of course, in today’s world money can’t be made out of the sound of the grasshoppers or crickets rubbing their legs together or the lark on its wing as its beautiful melody rises above the meadow.

Stunning piece of music

It’s all about the latest boy band or the next biggest band. Once music praised the glory of a god or Mother Nature as people worked in the fields or sung sea shanties but now modern music drowns out the noise of traffic and city life as people hurry about with earbuds in.

Step away from your busy life once in a while and be at one with nature. Retune your hearing to the natural sound around you. An early walk before the busyness of human activity fills the air can ease you both physically and mentally.

There isn’t enough time to switch off and tune out in our modern world.

Be at peace with yourself.

Thank you for dropping by and reading my thoughts.

There are shades of Grey Everywhere.

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

“Sometimes the people closest to you are the ones who let you down the most.” – Unknown.

I’m too trusting.

Believing in fairness, honesty and truth. Rules are there for a reason and not to be broken. If you are truthful and honest to others they will be truthful and trustworthy to you.

I believed in giving the benefit of the doubt until others prove me wrong then I’ll walk away.

Now I realise there are too many shades of grey and the world is not black and white anymore.

The world is back to front and upside down. Nothing is straight forward. The rules no longer apply.

Everyone is in it for themselves.

Red Flags

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.

Bruce Lee

All I can say is Prince Andrew must be desperate for friends if he is following me on Bluesky.
Sorry, Your Royal Highness, I’m not interested. Deleted

Not for one moment did I think this was the man himself.

For me a red flag is when someone start showing off their so-called wealth as though they are competing with others.

I don’t mean openly dragging about what they own but more about what they say and how they treat others around them.

I’m not impressed by titles, wealth or status but more interested in how someone carries themselves through life.

Have they worked hard for what they have? Some might inherited a fortune but to continue building the family farm or business they have to work hard to keep it afloat.

Money isn’t everything. Yes, I guess you are thinking ‘well, it’s already for her to say.’

I believe once you have found the right home, have food on the table, clothes on your back, and enough money to cover the daily cost of living you can live comfortably.

Too much money brings a whole set of other problems. The bigger the house or car the more it costs to run it.

We all need to count our blessings and remember we coming into the world with nothing and we leave with nothing. The good send off is we all hope for, while during the wake most people have already begun to move on and are enjoying themselves.

Arrogance, ignorance, manipulation and bitchiness are red flags to me. I tend to listening carefully to other people while they are talking. Do they interrupt others while they are talking?

Do they listen to what you are saying because they are interested, or are they more interested in talking themselves.

I can spot quite quickly when someone is really listening when I put forward my comments or thoughts in a conversation. I think if they are really interested they would encourage me to continue in my view point, if not I just shut up.

I’m far more interested in how others deal with what life throws at them. Do they stand up, brush themselves down and start again without moaning and complaining?

For me, my glass has always been half full rather than half empty. I’ve never longer for fame or fortune.

For me a good life is an stress-free one. As for Prince Andrew, his life hasn’t exactly been stress-free. Bet he wishes he had been born a commoner.

Thank you for dropping by and reading my post.

Pity

If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

She could not have borne their pity, and their whispered remarks to one another upon her strange situation; though she would almost have faced a knowledge of her circumstances by every individual there, so long as her story had remained isolated in the mind of each. It was the interchange of ideas about her that made her sensitiveness wince.”

Author: Thomas Hardy

Book: Tess of the D’Urbervilles

The character they are talking about: Tess Durbeyfield.

It’s not a word I use often but more a word I hear. It’s such a pity… it’s a pity more is done about such and such … it’s a pity the government let such a thing happen. And on it goes. Pity is such a small word.

What does it mean?

According to the dictionary definition of the words pity

noun

1. the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortune of others.2. a cause for regret or disappointment it’s a pity you didn’t contact us first”

verb

feel sorrow for the misfortune of- ‘I could see from their faces that they pitied me”

Instead of saying it’s a pity… why can’t we start doing more for ourselves. After all we have many more options at our disposal into days world.

You would think that people would want to be more self-sufficient than under the power of others. If you rely on your government to provide for you and your family they have more control over your life.

It’s the same when countries rely on other countries for food, energy, medicine and doctors, handouts etc you are becoming weaker instead of stronger.

Grow-your-own

Being self-reliant makes you stronger and able to overcome obstacles. You’re are less likely to suffer depression because you know you have the ability to find other options to solve problems.

Pity is an excuse in my book.

Tess was a strong woman. She learnt the hard way that life isn’t always easy and you can’t rely on others.

Be strong. Write down your options and remember you might have to make a few tough choices but with hard work you can build a better future for yourself without handouts from others.

Be at peace. Your life is yours to live.

Thank you for reading my post.

No Point in Holding One.

Are you holding a grudge? About?

They hold a grudge like it was their family treasure.”

— Ilona Andrews

Throughout my life I have tried to be kind, honest and respectful. The older I get the wiser I become and now realise that you can’t change the spots on a leopard . No matter how thoughtful or kind you are, or how much you want to understand other people’s points of view, it’s useless unless they are willing to listen to your point of view, too.

I’ve never seen the point of holding a grudge, simply because you gain nothing from it. My life has always been about finding peace. Once I was older enough to start work I have done whatever I could to be self-sufficient and not to rely on the adults in my life. I have often found myself alone especially when my first marriage broke down, leaving me with a young son who needed me to be strong.

My safe space

The most important thing was to have a safe place for my son to grow up in. I needed peace in my life so anything that disturbs my equilibrium I turned my back it including disgruntled family members.

From an early age, I realised adults were not always truthful. They can behave badly like spoiled children and carry grudges for many years, if not, forever to their grave.

Just recently I found out that someone I thought a great deal of held a grudge against me. Their nasty, bitter words cut me to the core, but I soon realised the child within them had no one left to turn their anger towards following the deaths of their mother, brother and husband.

Over the years they had shared many unhappy memories and experiences with me. I sat quietly and listened as they laid their cards on the table.

At some point they realised they had told me too much, and I had shared so little information with them. They had nothing to manipulate me with or to hold over me. Instead I told them I didn’t want to discuss others behind their backs.

I feel sad that they directed their bitterness at me for so many years. Now they are being laid to rest, maybe they can stand before their Mother, brother and husband and tell them why they have been so unhappy during their life on earth.

As I write this I am in my art studio surrounded by blank canvases, paintings, brushes and paints. In my life, I have no need to hold a grudge, bitterness or anger. If raw emotions bubble to the surface in me, I turn them in characters in my books or short stories. This way I can deal with the unhappiness others have created in my life.

It’s important to find the goodness in others, but sometimes it is important to walk away from those who disturb your peace of mind.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post

Be happy.

Oh, if only I could…

What does your ideal home look like?

“I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of a Library.”

Jorge Luis Borges 

(1899-1986. Argentine writer)

The small cottage-type building would have a slate roof with large windows to let in plenty of light. It would be set in English countryside, with a large garden. In the garden, there would be a bluebell wood and a large pond full of waterlilies with dragonflies, frogs, newts and toads.

English Bluebell Wood

Within the house would be a large kitchen/ dining room. Here visitors could sit and chat while I served homemade bread rolls, salad and cheese. Off the kitchen would be a sitting room and from here a library and an art studio.

The library would have books from floor to ceiling. There would be high-back chairs and a desk for study

I’m so lucky to have a home of my own and have an art studio and a writing room. I have a good size garden but only have two small ponds. No bluebell wood in my garden, but one close by.

Happiness comes from counting your blessings and being bless with freedom and a comfortable life, I’m happy with what I have.

Where shall I begin?

How are you feeling right now?

The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray.  Oscar Wilde

It’s hard to let go when you feel rejected. When the things that have shaped us all in our childhood can never been resolved.

When every word, and look has a raw emotion or meaning added to it.

The problem is everyone seems it from their own perspective. Your hurt isn’t as bad as theirs.

No matter how long you wait for someone to acknowledge your pain, to make you feel you have a right to feel your rejection, your pain or upset it won’t come, because you’re in the wrong.

You have always been in the wrong.

But hang on a minute. Let’s take control of this situation. Let’s move forward.

What about all those times when you had no one to turn to in your hour of need. When you were alone, ready to give up.

You took the bull by the horns and stood up for yourself. Look around you and see what you have achieved on your own.

You never needed their approval so why do you need it now?

Time to move on.

Our lives are short. Death is a leveller.

A Shed

Tell us about the last thing you got excited about.

Rain drums its fingers on the garden shed.”

— V.E. Schwab

When the dead tree was removed from the corner of my garden I was sad. There is an offshoot of it growing so it hasn’t gone completely. It will take many years before it is as big as its predecessor. At least, I will see white blossoms in the spring before its bright green leaves appear which I’m pleased about but the is very bare at moment.

Trees are the lungs of the world and we must treasure them. Around the world we are losing our jungles, forests and woodlands. Every country must plant more trees to help us to survive.

My garden isn’t really big enough to have trees but I do grow some in containers. Next month I’m having another tree taken down because it is damaging the driveway. It was the first Christmas tree my husband and I had when we became a family over twenty-five years ago.

Christmas tree gone rogue

You have to be realistic when planning a garden and look to the future too. When I planted our Christmas tree I thought it was an idea spot for it. A pine may not a thick trunk but now with a bit of research and hindsight I would have found out it becomes a very tall tree with a thick root system to hold it up.

Next to the pine tree growing three other trees which will benefit from its removal.

Pine trees are greedy for water so my Japanese maple and cherry tree has suffered. Hopefully, the area will become much brighter and lighter without the pine tree. In the future, I will think more carefully about what I planting. I shall stick to shrubs

My husband and I have built a new shed for the garden using old fence panels, two gates, (one for the floor) and pallet wood. Like everyone else we hated throwing things away just in case it comes in handy. Once the old tree came down it made room to have a good tidy up.

There’s still plenty to do. We need to add guttering and set the paving slabs into place. Once the rose starts growing around the arch and the plants become more established it won’t look so bare in the corner. I’m wanting to add an irrigation system to my vegetable garden so the water butts need to be linked up correctly in this corner. I’m excited by what I can do to help improve the way I’m grow our own food. Some of our vegetables I’m growing in containers.

No matter how small your garden is there are plenty of ways you can have the pleasure of home-grown vegetables. Not only that but it is great for your mental health, too while you nurture and care for your plants and garden.

I shall keep you updated on my progress. I’ve just seen someone selling an irrigation system on Facebook marketplace much cheaper than online. Hopefully, I will be successful and grab a bargain

I’m living my best life cheaply.

Speak to you again soon.