Paula R.C. Readman's Blog, page 5

Happiness…,

Good morning everyone!
I think I am back . Well, normal being my standard of normal in this crazy world.

Last night I slept well. I had a strange (normal for me) dream but it was a pleasant one, it left me feeling positive and chilled out, rather than anxious and depressed. It was as though all my anxiety had gone and I was back in my own happy place.

In my dream I was wandering the old streets of the town where I grew up only it had become a steampunk version of Chelmsford with a suspension monorail that zoomed over our heads. This was known as the cloud in the sky

I was with Sherlock Holme investigating a case As we walked along we could see in the bedrooms of the houses. These were a strange mixture of interior designs from futuristic to Victorian.

This morning I woke feeling relaxed and positive that I am back in my happy place.
Though not quite optimistic enough to risk dancing along to this song as I don’t want to undo the recovery to my thigh muscle.

Have a great day everyone

Education First

If you had a million dollars to give away, who would you give it to?

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” – Nelson Mandela

I would employ more teachers to inspire more girls into getting a good education.

If you educate the girls they will educate their children thus lifting the family out of poverty. Far too often young girls see pregnancy as away of escaping bad situations rather than children being brought up in a loving relationship and a secure home environment.

In Britain being a single young mother is seen as a way to get benefits, a house or flat, child support payments etc. Over the years this has become a vicious circle as generations of children have been brought up to believe they don’t need to get a good education to work for a living when you can get money for free.

British’s standard of living has dropped because generations of its population see living on benefits as normal career choices rather than a safe net during difficult times.

Educate yourself gives you
more options in life

If I had two million pounds I would invest it my village school and doctors surgery to equip them with everything needed to help the children in the village by employ the best teachers and doctors. A good education and health care will put Britain back on its feet again.

Thank you for dropping by and reading my blog.

By Looking at the Bigger Picture.

What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.”
– Paulo Coelho

The saying, ‘there is two sides to every story’ echoed so true to me at my mother’s funeral nine years ago.

Mum’s passing opened up not only old wounds within the family but also threw a new light on a relationship which was always seen as being on the outside of my siblings and l as we were growing up.
I have a half-brother, Alan who I always viewed as my father’s son, not as one of my siblings. I suppose it’s our age differences which separate us in my mind. My parents divorced when l was a teenager.

When Alan arrived at my mother’s funeral I was shocked but only because my mother would have disapproved of him being there. Alan, after reading about her death in the local paper, felt he needed to be there.

Of course, I was polite to Alan. After all, he was as much a victim as I was of my father’s betrayal to my mother. My mother had been betrayed not only her husband but by a woman she called a friend. Then my mother was betrayed by her mother-in-law. ( my grandmother) She told her son that he should divorce my mother and marry Alan’s mother as a child shouldn’t be born out of wedlock.
I never blamed Alan, but l never view him as ‘my’ brother. He had his mother’s family and cousins on her side.

At mum’s funeral my dear friend made a comment that made me step back and look at the bigger picture.
I had never thought to ask Alan how he viewed us, Dad’s first family as we were called at my father’s funeral, where our names were never read out.

A day after Mother’s funeral, I phoned him to apologise for to let him know that my mother had passed away. l asked him how he viewed our relationship.
‘You are my sister, ‘ he said in a puzzled tone, as though it had always been obvious.

The pain that ripped through my heart was unmeasurable. This poor man who saw me as a sister has stood on the edge of my life thought more of me than my own siblings.

The difficulties and unhappiness I had experienced between my two sisters over the years as I fought to be a loving, caring sister to them faded away with the realisation that I could have had a better relationship with my half-brother.

Whenever I visited my father I was never rude or unkind to Alan but never thought that he saw me as his sister visiting him too.

I suppose l could blame my father for not including us his children in his young son’s life, or l could blame Alan for not phoning me for a chat over the passing years. After my father passed away, I neglected Alan and his mother and focused on my own mother. I felt I would be betraying her if l spent my time with Alan and his mother.

Sometimes it is best to turn your back on the painful relationships and focus on the ones who value you in their lives.

The poem below was written after one of my visits to see my mother in her nursing home. It wasn’t long after that visit my husband and I sat at her bedside for two days waiting for the angels to show my mother the way to her ancestors.

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With the Deepest Respect.

I looked death in the face today.
It was a face I recognised, and I had to turn away.
Sorrow filled my heart as I recalled the pain that was left behind when she came calling.
Death gave a gentle smile. “It’s okay” she said “I won’t be back for you for quite awhile.”

I gave a slight nod and thanked her, as l turned to go. It didn’t ease the pain in my heart to know she wasn’t visiting me today. My sorrow was for the one who’s dearly departed now, and their friends and family left behind.

I looked death in the face today and lowered my head in respect knowing she would be back for me someday.

Our time on earth is so short to worry about people who don’t want us in their lives. It’s hard for me just to walk away but sometimes you have to in order to find peace.

Keep smiling, dear friend and find joy in the smallest of things.

Material Possessions

What would you do if you lost all your possessions?

All my possessions for a moment of time.

Queen Elizabeth I of England

During times of war, natural disasters and house fires we are told time and again material possessions are replaceable and have no real value, but we still amass them over our lifetime.

I have reached a point in my life where I am downsizing to free myself of things I no longer need or want cluttering up my life.

Does my son want to spend time clearing my house at the most difficult time in his life, the death of his mother?

To my son my stuff has no real value to him as he won’t understand why I value it so much. For me, most of the things I owe aren’t of material value to anyone else. No treasures of golden jewellery, paintings by famous artists or antique furnitures.

For me, my life has always been about living simply. Knowledge is the most important thing to me. So my large collection of books are precious to me. They might be second-hand bought from charity shops and car boot sales but the wisdom within is priceless. My education has come from reading books. Having a physical book in your hand is a powerful tool. You don’t need electricity to recharge it.

Losing my house would be devastating too. All the years of working long hours and overtime to keep a roof over my son’s head, to give him security in an uncertain world.

Sometimes our material possessions aren’t abouts the objects themselves but all the memories and emotional ties we have with them. Of course, something can be replaced but they aren’t the same as the original things.

These days our phones are our photo albums we carry them with us every day but I would be guttered to lose the old physical albums full of family photos. These are irreplaceable and hold such memories that can trigger forgotten memories of people and places.

Roadside Buzzard in oil and
acrylic by Roger Dale

Today I received a lovely get-well card from a dear friend Penny Dale. The painting on the front of the card had an amazing story behind it. Penny and her husband found the bird injured at the side of the road and took it to the vet. Unfortunately, it was too badly injured to survive. Penny’s husband created the image to reflect the bird’s fears and suffering. The painting is both stunning and sad.

Can’t wait to start
walking again

I’m still stuck on my bed with no sign of recovery. I’ve another six weeks of this and hopefully, by the end, I can start rebuilding my muscles and strength. I’ve tried exercising to keep the strength in my legs only to be causing more damage. I’ve got to learn patience if I want to be more active.

Chat again soon

The Mirror Cracked

Some things I cannot change, but ’til I try I’ll never know.

Stephen Schwartz, from the musical Wicked.

For quite a while now I’ve been wanting to replace my laptop. Yesterday, while paging through an online Marketplace someone had posted a brand new Google Chromebook.
Today, I’m sitting propped against some pillow to rest my torn thigh muscle ( I have another six weeks of this ) just about to start plotting out my new novel on my new laptop.
Yes, I’ve checked it is compatible with my printer. Thank goodness it is.

This morning, I’ve been familiarising myself with how it works. At my time of life, it is hard to keep up with changing technology, but you must try otherwise you get left behind. I think I’ve worked out that I can transfer anything I write on the new computer to my main computer via a memory stick.
Being stuck on my bed has been a right pain in my left knee, but at least I’m overcoming my depression by thinking outside the room.

See what I did there?

Evil Godmother

Yes, it was a fantastic bargain. The guy received it as a gift, with a new phone, but no one in his family wanted it. He had only just posted the laptop for sale online when I spotted it. I had just joined the site and was paging through to see what was available in my local area.
Brilliant! I’m so pleased I did as it lifted my spirits no end.

The curse of my godmother has come to an end, and I’m feeling more like my old self as I can see a light at the end of a dark tunnel.

Now to get focus and start writing my new book.

Keep smiling everyone. Be true to yourself.

Thank you for dropping by and reading my post.

If money didn’t matter.

List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.

Money is our madness, our vast collective madness. – D.H. Lawrence

Writer, artist and walker… writing and painting don’t pay the bills because there are too many people who are willing to make money out of the process needed to write books or in the creation of art.

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Being both an artist and novelist I can tell you that you don’t write or paint for money because you need a lot of luck and financial support from others to build a career.

After 20 years of writing, six books and over hundreds short stories published I spent more money than I made. The problem is the money you make when writing you have to share with your publisher and agent. If you’re self-published you have to pay for editing and marketing.

As for being an artist, it’s the same as being a writer, you have to promote yourself. You could go down the route of teaching others but this route means you have less time to paint

As for walking, it doesn’t cost you anything, but there’s no money to be made from it. The one advantage of walking is it improves your health and mental well-being.

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Writing can be quite stressful when you are trying to build a career as a writer. You panic over sales, reviews, editing and rewriting, and whether you can finish the next book before its deadline. As for being an artist, you can sell your work online or at a craft fair but then you have to paint for a market. If you try to sell via art exhibitions this will cost you as the galleries will charge you to exhibit and take a commission on each painting you sell.

Once again, everyone wants a slice of your talent, especially when you’re making any money.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.

In Dreams

“Everything begins with an idea.”

– Earl Nightingale

As you know I’ve been laid up for quite a few weeks now with a torn thigh muscle. I can only stand for a short time and as for sitting at my computer desk, it’s impossible as an awful pain tears through my leg. The only place I’m pain free is sitting on my bed propped up by pillows with my legs raised.

Last night, I woke up at one o’clock in the morning. My mind was racing with an idea for a new novel.

For days now, I’ve been trying to come up with an idea for something totally different, I’ve lost interest in writing horror stories and there’s too many stories about witches. I played around with the idea of writing a romance but this didn’t fire me up enough to start write one.

I wanted to write something unique, well as unique as any novel can be in today’s world.

The idea came creeping into my brain at one last night and had me hanging over the side of the bed writing notes. The words flooded from me as I covered four pages with ideas. I think I’ve found a way of writing the story I really want to write

I shall tell the tale from five points of view and with a few flashbacks, too. The idea is still in its early stages so I can’t say any more. At the moment, being stuck on the bed most of the day for the next seven weeks means I’m writing longhand.

I have a painting to finish then by the first of October I’ll start writing again. I think it’s time to buy a new laptop to see if I can write while lying on the bed.

Happy Writing everyone.

Shh, listen carefully. 🤫

What aspects of your cultural heritage are you most proud of or interested in?

This royal throne of kings, this sceptered isle, This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, This other Eden, demi-paradise, This fortress built by Nature for herself Against infection and the hand of war, This happy breed of men, this little world, This precious stone set in the silver sea, Which serves it in the office of a wall Or as a moat defensive to a house, Against the envy of less happier lands,–This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.” – William Shakespeare

Shh, listen carefully because I not allowed to shout about how proud I am to be born free. My DNA tells me my ancestors came to these shores hundreds of years ago. My roots are in the north of England in area where the Vikings settled and made this country their home.

In a land where I can voice my opinions without fear that I’ll be silenced but now Big brother is watching us.

What has made England, and the rest of Britain great is slowly being eroded way. Over the centuries, we have welcomed the persecuted people to our shores and offered protection to them on the understanding they accepted our way of life and culture.

But in recent years, things have changed dramatically and our culture is being transformed. Illegal migration is making demand on our infrastructure by expecting housing, jobs, education, health services and benefits while our citizens are struggling with inflation and poverty. Our health system is on its knees, hospitals and school buildings are crumbling along with roads. Prisons are overcrowded and we have flooding in many places.

When the English and British people stand up and demand that the indigenous community is put first, that the homeless and the poor of Britain are care for before the illegal migrants, we are silenced.

When we demand those who have entered the country illegally should be returned to the countries they belong to, we are called racists.

Generations of British people have fought for the freedom of others. Two war worlds were fought in the name of freedom. British taxpayers send billions of pounds overseas in aid to help others create a better life in their own countries, yet when we stand up for our rights in our own country we are in the wrong.

I don’t believe in violence, but I do believe in the law of this country. No one has the right to enter this country illegally and expect to be housed, education, have access to healthcare, employment or benefits when we have thousands of people who have the right to be here in desperate need.

From George Orwell 1984 propaganda

Shh, these are my views. Charity begins at home. Once the great has been put back into Britain then we can help others.

Thank you for reading my post.

What are Brands?

What brands do you associate with?

“Products are made in the factory, but brands are created in the mind.”– Walter Landor

Brand Goods are all about buying into dream and an image. I know brands are supposed to be about quality but these days I think Brands are like Football Teams, it’s all about the money.

Well known British brands are no longer made in Britain so to me you’re a buying into its past glory rather than a quality product. The companies that own the brand names are charging you a fortune for its renown image.

A brand is just a name which might have a long history but over the years the product has changed and not always for the better.

Most brands are not always made in the country they were originally created. Over the years the brand name has more value than the product itself.

Just like the British football teams were once made up of players who were born in the towns or cities of their origins, but now the players come from anywhere in the world.

Money, money, money, it’s all about the money.

Spent your money wisely and look for quality in whatever you are buying rather than buying something for its names.

Thank you for dropping by and reading my post.

The Best Piece of Advice.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself. – Oscar Wilde

Advice isn’t something I give to others. I tend to wait for others to ask me for my views on their problems.

I found others are too quick to give out advice without actually listening to what is being told to them.

When I lived on my own, with a young son, others were always quick to tell me what I should do, how to raise my son but were never quick to offer practical help.

As a working mother I would have loved to had some practical help during school holidays allowing me to save a few days to have holiday with my son rather than constantly working. I even did homework in the evening, once my son was in bed, to make ends meet. The company I work for wasn’t very understanding towards working mums.

I was often being told I would be better off on benefits, but I wanted my son to see the value of working for what you want from life.

The best piece of advice, I know is to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes before you comment of others.

Never judge a book by its cover things because things are never quite what they seem.

You can learn a lot about others by listening to them, and not talk over them. When they have finished talking, do they show you the same respect?

As for following advice from others, listen carefully then make a decision on what your heart and mind tells you. Not everyone around you knows all the facts that you need to make the right decision. Remember you’re the who has to live with the decisions you make.

Thank you for dropping by and reading my post.

Have a great day