Dave Horowitz's Blog, page 3

CRASH!

Last Friday afternoon I was sitting around watching South Park and drinking a beer. (You know... a work day). Outside I heard a motorcycle go by really fast.

And I mean really fast, as if the bike left the ground.

I got up and looked out the window to see a deer lying dead in the road. But that's it. No bike. No people. Weird.

Then I looked up the road a couple of hundred yards and I saw them; one rider was down, in the woods.

I have a bunch of first aid/rescue training, and it looked like I was first on the scene. It'd been a while since I'd been part of a rescue, but there wasn't much to do but keep the guy's neck and spine stable until we got a c-collar and backboard. The rider was very lucky (well, except for the part where he hit a deer); he flew in the air, slid for a while and busted a femur when he hit a tree—but other than that he was okay. He was barely bleeding.

At some point, before the police and firetrucks and ambulances showed up, someone said, "wow... that's all poison ivy!"

It sure was!

The victim goes, "oh crap" and tries to get up, which was kind of funny. What wasn't funny were the blisters that showed up on my arms over the next couple of days. They were as big as jelly beans.

So remember fellow amateur rescuers, before you check ABCs (Airway. Breathing. Circulation), do a scene survey. See what your running into before you run in.

Would you like fries with that? Hey wait a minute.

I drove past a Wendy's today (Lie: I stopped at a Wendy's today. I don't know why I like those goddamn cheesy-cheddar burgers so much).

Anyway, they have some ad campaign going on that has something to do with Wendy (the girl in the logo) being a redhead.

Okay so then I'm thinking, huh just like the Burger King. And Ronald!

Hey. Just what the hell is going on? Why are all the fast food mascots redheads? What have I stumbled upon?

Wild Kingdom

In the last week I have seen a porcupine (up close), an owl (also, up close), a copperhead snake (yup!), two otters and your assorted deer, frogs and turtles.

Now granted I spend a lot of time in the woods, but that is an incredible menagerie. I mean, otters? Seriously. Who ever sees otters around here?

Be water, my friend.

Even though much of the country has been enjoying a drought, for me, this has been the summer of water.

Maybe it was because I spent the winter and spring drawing pirates and frogs and sinking boats (Psst: Twenty-Six Pirates, coming 2013!) that I decided to start the season by getting a kayak and a fishing pole. Maybe it was because it was over 100° by May.

Either way, the perfect summer for it. The perfect summer for lots of time on the laziest rivers I can find.

Also the perfect summer to rediscover watercolor as a medium. Not so great for impatient me when the humidity kicks in, but other than that, oh what a fast, fun way to paint. (Psst: Little Big Horse, Book 1, coming 2014!)

And while we're talking about water: BE WATER, MY FRIEND.

Optimistic pessimism and pessimistic optimism

I consider myself to be both an optimistic pessimist and a pessimistic optimist.

Say wut?

My optimistic pessimist side recognizes that when things are going badly, that's good news: Because the law of averages, or karma, or whatever, suggests that things can only suck for so long. AKA it's darkest before the dawn.

However my pessimistic optimist side never sees the glass as half empty; the glass is half full.

Only trouble with a half full glass? The last half is typically backwash.

The Most Boring Auction Yet?

Seriously, this is the most boring auction election yet. Maybe in 2016 it should be in 3D.

**CORPORATE TOOL, 2012!**

Critic "jumps the shark".

It's been said a critic is one who shows up on the battlefield, after the battle is over and shoots the wounded.

Goodreads has been great about warning me not to reply directly to my own critics, who are sometimes (often) pretty silly (stupid). So instead, I'm going to make fun of Patrick Goldstein.

Patrick who?

Exactly.

Patrick is a movie reviewer for the LA Times. I just came from their website, where the front page "news" was Patrick telling us that Adam Sandler has "jumped the shark".

But did Pat tell us what was actually wrong with Sandlers latest movie? No he just went on and on explaining what "jump the shark" means as if he was actually informing anyone of anything.

Dude, Adam Sandler hasn't been funny for about 10 years, and the phrase "jump the shark" jumped the shark about 10 years before that.

See... being a critic is easy!

Live, from New York, it's ...

A special invitation ...



On Thursday, June 28th at 6:30pm, I will be giving a live slideshow and talk at the Tenement Museum, in New York City's Lower East Side; 103 Orchard Street, to be exact. Learn how a nice Jewish boy goes from the mean streets of Long Island, to the mountains of Peru, and on to become a world famous, kids' book author.

If you can't make it, this event will also be live-streamed on the Tenement Museum's Facebook page. Oy Vey! Get all the details HERE.

Hope to see you there,
dave horowitz

EDIT (July 16): There will soon be an edited video and podcast of this event available online. I will post links in this spot soon.

Ray Bradbury on Flying/Falling

On the recent passing of Ray Bradbury, the radio station I was listening to kept playing this one sound-byte over and over:

It was the late Ray Bradbury advising us to "jump off a cliff and build our wings on the way down."

Funny, because that's how I've been doing things lately—I even wrote a book, Chico the Brave, on the premise—but it has been starting to feel a little foolish. Publishing is for the birds! Years of work without even the promise of pay. And when you do get paid, believe me, it ain't much ...

Dare I admit I've even been doubting if I can afford to keep making books anymore? But what else would I do? Blah, blah, blah; poor me.

I go back and forth on the above statement, but ultimately, I take Bradbury's words as encouragement.

Being brave and being stupid are just two sides of the same coin; the difference is how well and how fast you build those wings.

*Here's that book I was telling you about.

Video preview: http://www.goodreads.com/videos/24330...

Humongous interview

I did not expect a video interview when they said they wanted to use my painting for the cover of their magazine.

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But they did. And here it is:
http://www.chronogram.com/issue/2012/...