Dave Horowitz's Blog, page 4
May 23, 2012
I come from the Land of the Ice and Snow
My 10 year old niece is learning to play the flute. She knew I was coming over last weekend so she got the accompanying percussion parts to the songs she is learning, so I could help her practice.
I sat at my brother's drum kit and rested my sheets of music on the floor tom. We played the 1812 Overture about a dozen times. Mostly quarter notes and rests.
Then she starts noodling around between songs. Wait a minute? What's that line she's playing?
"Is that ... Led Zeppelin?" I ask.
"Yeah. The Immigrant Song. My teacher, Mr G., taught me.
I moved the sheet music on the floor—and my god, an uncle couldn't be more proud—we jammed Led Zeppelin! Thanks Mr. G. You rock!
I sat at my brother's drum kit and rested my sheets of music on the floor tom. We played the 1812 Overture about a dozen times. Mostly quarter notes and rests.
Then she starts noodling around between songs. Wait a minute? What's that line she's playing?
"Is that ... Led Zeppelin?" I ask.
"Yeah. The Immigrant Song. My teacher, Mr G., taught me.
I moved the sheet music on the floor—and my god, an uncle couldn't be more proud—we jammed Led Zeppelin! Thanks Mr. G. You rock!
May 18, 2012
I told you so ...
... and $3.98 gets me a gallon of gas.
But... I'm predicting this facebook stock thing is not going to go well. Someone—or a whole lot of someones—is gonna' lose their shirt.
Billions of dollars for this thing that doesn't actually generate, um, what's that stuff called again? Oh yeah: Money.
Nope. No bubble to see here, folks. Move along. Like me on Facebook.
But... I'm predicting this facebook stock thing is not going to go well. Someone—or a whole lot of someones—is gonna' lose their shirt.
Billions of dollars for this thing that doesn't actually generate, um, what's that stuff called again? Oh yeah: Money.
Nope. No bubble to see here, folks. Move along. Like me on Facebook.
May 15, 2012
Words of Eulogy
It's been a long year—and it's only May. Too many loved ones have passed. (Not to mention Maurice Sendak and my man, MCA).
So it goes. We're all just passing through. No one gets outta' here alive.
I heard this in a eulogy last weekend and it almost made me feel better (I'll paraphrase; it was probably from a famous poet):
When a baby is born we all celebrate. When a loved one dies, we weep.
Maybe it should be the other way around, since no one knows the trials and suffering the baby will face—while for the departed, the journey is concluded. The life has been lived.
So it goes. We're all just passing through. No one gets outta' here alive.
I heard this in a eulogy last weekend and it almost made me feel better (I'll paraphrase; it was probably from a famous poet):
When a baby is born we all celebrate. When a loved one dies, we weep.
Maybe it should be the other way around, since no one knows the trials and suffering the baby will face—while for the departed, the journey is concluded. The life has been lived.
May 9, 2012
Let the Wild Rumpus Begin ...
Those were the words Maurice Sendak used to conclude the speech he gave at my college graduation in 1992.
Sendak was a hero to me, since long before then though. Not so much for the work itself; but because he was a pioneer. He did it HIS way.
There is much to be read about his life in children's publishing. There are the letters in Dear Genius: The Letters of Ursula Nordstrom and lots of wisdom to be found in those big coffee table retrospectives.
Whenever I have a tough call to make in publishing, I generally find myself thinking, WWSD (What would Sendak do?).
Can monsters in a kids book have sharp teeth? WWSD? Should one ever take illustration work because they need the money? WWSD?
Early on, I read that Sendak was also famous for his generosity in helping other artists break in. I keep this in mind every step of the way too.
A truly great man has passed.
Rest in peace, Max. We'll keep your supper, hot.
Sendak was a hero to me, since long before then though. Not so much for the work itself; but because he was a pioneer. He did it HIS way.
There is much to be read about his life in children's publishing. There are the letters in Dear Genius: The Letters of Ursula Nordstrom and lots of wisdom to be found in those big coffee table retrospectives.
Whenever I have a tough call to make in publishing, I generally find myself thinking, WWSD (What would Sendak do?).
Can monsters in a kids book have sharp teeth? WWSD? Should one ever take illustration work because they need the money? WWSD?
Early on, I read that Sendak was also famous for his generosity in helping other artists break in. I keep this in mind every step of the way too.
A truly great man has passed.
Rest in peace, Max. We'll keep your supper, hot.
April 29, 2012
Tip of Hat or Wag of Finger?
Stephen Colbert has a celebrity kids book, I Am A Pole, publishing in a few weeks. As an author/illustrator, who works pretty hard at it, I hate celebrity books, and the people that make them.
But I'm a big fan of Stephen Colbert. So what do I do? Do I give his new book—which I haven't seen—a "tip of the hat" or a "wag of the finger?"
Tip of the Hat!
There's an anecdote, I love, about Salvador Dali: At the top of his career, Dali assembled a group of reporters on an airport tarmac. He told them that they (and the art world in general) were such a bunch of sycophants that they would buy anything he put his name on because he's famous. To prove it, he then takes a shotgun (full of paint?) and destroys the canvas displayed in front of them.
As foretold, the bidding for the "masterpiece" begins before the artist's gun was cool.
This is how I see Stephen Colbert. He takes a gleeful pride in letting everyone know his book is crap, but that people will buy it only because he's famous.
And he's right. They will. Hell, they'll probably give him a Caldecott.
But I'm a big fan of Stephen Colbert. So what do I do? Do I give his new book—which I haven't seen—a "tip of the hat" or a "wag of the finger?"
Tip of the Hat!
There's an anecdote, I love, about Salvador Dali: At the top of his career, Dali assembled a group of reporters on an airport tarmac. He told them that they (and the art world in general) were such a bunch of sycophants that they would buy anything he put his name on because he's famous. To prove it, he then takes a shotgun (full of paint?) and destroys the canvas displayed in front of them.
As foretold, the bidding for the "masterpiece" begins before the artist's gun was cool.
This is how I see Stephen Colbert. He takes a gleeful pride in letting everyone know his book is crap, but that people will buy it only because he's famous.
And he's right. They will. Hell, they'll probably give him a Caldecott.
April 8, 2012
An Easter Theory.
Not being Christian, the symbols and customs of Easter have always puzzled me. Bunnies and candy and eggs? What's it all about?
Surely, I don't know. But here's a theory I've come up with about where the custom of the Easter egg hunt comes from:
We know that golf is a really, really old pastime. Some estimates say that it dates back to about 40 a.d. when the Romans occupied Great Britain.
Now fast forward to last week. It's early Spring and I'm looking for lost golf balls in my yard. It occurred to me that these little white balls that get nestled in the tall grass and under leaves look an awful lot like eggs.
Could it be that in ancient times, crappy golfers convinced kids to help them look for golf balls in the Spring, and they would be rewarded for the efforts with candy?
Somewhere along the way golf balls got switched out for eggs, and just like that, a tradition was born.
It's just a theory.
Surely, I don't know. But here's a theory I've come up with about where the custom of the Easter egg hunt comes from:
We know that golf is a really, really old pastime. Some estimates say that it dates back to about 40 a.d. when the Romans occupied Great Britain.
Now fast forward to last week. It's early Spring and I'm looking for lost golf balls in my yard. It occurred to me that these little white balls that get nestled in the tall grass and under leaves look an awful lot like eggs.
Could it be that in ancient times, crappy golfers convinced kids to help them look for golf balls in the Spring, and they would be rewarded for the efforts with candy?
Somewhere along the way golf balls got switched out for eggs, and just like that, a tradition was born.
It's just a theory.
April 5, 2012
Anti-tising.
In the words of the late, great Bill Hicks, "If you're in marketing or advertising... kill yourself."
"No seriously," he'd continue, "I know you think there's a joke coming... but there isn't. You are Satan's spawn, doing the Devil's work; kill yourself!"
This is how I feel every time a Gieco ad comes on. Not only are their ads insufferably bad, but I already use their product. I don't have a TV (such is my disdain for commercials), so all the ads I endure come through Hulu or the like.
Every morning it's the same thing. I'm watching a show like the Colbert Report, and the same commercial plays at every break. And it's Geico. Always Geico. It was bad enough, when they ran those ads which referred to their gecko as an amphibian. (Geckos are reptiles!)
But now the ad they run over and over and over has Richard Simmons in short-shorts jumping up and down, yelling at me.
I swear, if they don't stop it soon I'm going to switch to Aflac.
"No seriously," he'd continue, "I know you think there's a joke coming... but there isn't. You are Satan's spawn, doing the Devil's work; kill yourself!"
This is how I feel every time a Gieco ad comes on. Not only are their ads insufferably bad, but I already use their product. I don't have a TV (such is my disdain for commercials), so all the ads I endure come through Hulu or the like.
Every morning it's the same thing. I'm watching a show like the Colbert Report, and the same commercial plays at every break. And it's Geico. Always Geico. It was bad enough, when they ran those ads which referred to their gecko as an amphibian. (Geckos are reptiles!)
But now the ad they run over and over and over has Richard Simmons in short-shorts jumping up and down, yelling at me.
I swear, if they don't stop it soon I'm going to switch to Aflac.
April 2, 2012
Let my gefiltes go!
Once upon a time I wrote a book called Five Little Gefiltes.
Years ago, when I was trying to get it published, I got one of my favorite rejection letters of all time. It said, something like, even though we all thought it was very funny and clever, we don't publish Jewish themed books that don't have the name of a holiday in the title. Then they gave me examples: Hanukkah Ha-Ha's and P is for Passover, etc.
A few months later I brought my idea to my present editor. When she got to the punchline of the book, she burst out laughing and said, "let's do it." (And she's not even Jewish).
I knew then I had found the right editor, both for that book and many more to follow.
The moral to the story? It always pays to be a mensch—and don't listen to Sales and Marketing.
p.s. Five Little Gefiltes has nothing to do with Passover.
Years ago, when I was trying to get it published, I got one of my favorite rejection letters of all time. It said, something like, even though we all thought it was very funny and clever, we don't publish Jewish themed books that don't have the name of a holiday in the title. Then they gave me examples: Hanukkah Ha-Ha's and P is for Passover, etc.
A few months later I brought my idea to my present editor. When she got to the punchline of the book, she burst out laughing and said, "let's do it." (And she's not even Jewish).
I knew then I had found the right editor, both for that book and many more to follow.
The moral to the story? It always pays to be a mensch—and don't listen to Sales and Marketing.
p.s. Five Little Gefiltes has nothing to do with Passover.
March 29, 2012
Go Frack Yourself!
Just in case anyone here reading this lives under a rock: Hydrofracking (the process of fracturing shale to remove gas) poisons the water table. As a bonus, Hydrofracking has also been responsible for all those bizarre earthquakes that have been happening in the mid-Atlantic and mid-West lately.
The only ones who will benefit from hydrofracking will be the big gas companies doing it and the politicians they keep fat and happy. The rest of us will have poisoned wells and cancer to look forward to.
The propagandists on TV are doing everything in their power to spin it—to make it seem like the next great idea—because that's their job as corporate tools.
End of rant. Have a nice day.
The only ones who will benefit from hydrofracking will be the big gas companies doing it and the politicians they keep fat and happy. The rest of us will have poisoned wells and cancer to look forward to.
The propagandists on TV are doing everything in their power to spin it—to make it seem like the next great idea—because that's their job as corporate tools.
End of rant. Have a nice day.
March 26, 2012
How to get published in 5 steps.
By far the question I am asked most is, how did you first get published? Or rather, how do I go about getting published?
Obviously you can't get published without an agent—and you can't get an agent without being published—right?
Wrong.
Many are surprised to learn that I sold my first book without an agent, and that it was only having that first book published which gave me the legitimacy to score an agent. After all, agents, like everyone else in the biz want one thing: a known quantity. Sorry to report that in publishing, as in real life, talent doesn't really count for much.
So do this:
1. Write a great book.
2. Go to the bookstore (or wherever one gets books these days) and find books in the same world as yours.
3. Write down the names of the imprints.
NOTE: An imprint is not the same as a publisher. There are only a handful publishers left, but each publisher will have a ton of imprints. For example: Viking, Dial, Dutton, Puffin, Putnam, etc. etc. are all imprints of Penguin. It's important to find the appropriate imprints.
4. Do your homework, (Googling, facebooking, twittering?) whatever it takes to find out the names of the editors at the appropriate imprints*. (A manuscript addressed to no one in particular will go straight to the trash). Find out their submission guidelines, and go.
Don't be discouraged if you are told, "we don't take unsolicited/unrepresented material". Of course they will say this to separate out the weak.
5. Collect your rejection letters and repeat. If you did step 1 correctly, eventually you will find the right editor and you'll be on your way.
* PRO-TIP: Smart authors will thank their editors in their books acknowledgments, so when doing your research, check the acknowledgments of the books you found, for the names of editors you wish to woo.
Obviously you can't get published without an agent—and you can't get an agent without being published—right?
Wrong.
Many are surprised to learn that I sold my first book without an agent, and that it was only having that first book published which gave me the legitimacy to score an agent. After all, agents, like everyone else in the biz want one thing: a known quantity. Sorry to report that in publishing, as in real life, talent doesn't really count for much.
So do this:
1. Write a great book.
2. Go to the bookstore (or wherever one gets books these days) and find books in the same world as yours.
3. Write down the names of the imprints.
NOTE: An imprint is not the same as a publisher. There are only a handful publishers left, but each publisher will have a ton of imprints. For example: Viking, Dial, Dutton, Puffin, Putnam, etc. etc. are all imprints of Penguin. It's important to find the appropriate imprints.
4. Do your homework, (Googling, facebooking, twittering?) whatever it takes to find out the names of the editors at the appropriate imprints*. (A manuscript addressed to no one in particular will go straight to the trash). Find out their submission guidelines, and go.
Don't be discouraged if you are told, "we don't take unsolicited/unrepresented material". Of course they will say this to separate out the weak.
5. Collect your rejection letters and repeat. If you did step 1 correctly, eventually you will find the right editor and you'll be on your way.
* PRO-TIP: Smart authors will thank their editors in their books acknowledgments, so when doing your research, check the acknowledgments of the books you found, for the names of editors you wish to woo.
