Niyati Tamaskar's Blog

The Magnificence of Theth National Park

Upon my buddy’s recommendation we added 3 days in northern Albania to the itinerary to explore Theth National Park. Albania is already flanked by mountains, but Theth is the next level of ruggedness, remoteness, untouched beauty and oh so magnificent peaks! The drive from Durres to Theth was breathtaking. The number of times I said, “I’ve never seen anything like this” is too many to count. The kids loved the drive, we didn’t rush it one bit, we made sure to pull over, take pictures and really grasp the stunning landscape – just so many unexplored, untouched mountains! We did see some surface mining, but for the most part it is unexplored territory.

I found a wonderful guesthouse for our stay in Theth. The road to the guesthouse, like the last mile really, is all rubble with steep inclines and just as steep falls if you weren’t an expert driver. The people that run the guesthouse Valter (who was in Greece) and Drita have done a bang up job of keeping their home immaculate and personable. The breakfast area is the common space where visitors can mingle. Since we booked our stay towards the end of season, we were the only ones there. Valter and Drita’s son Gjon greeted us when we got there and helped us with our bags. Pictures of the guesthouse didn’t lie but sure didn’t do justice to the views from our room – 2 windows framing mountains, and two balconies also framing more mountains. 

That first evening in Theth my friend Alex was going to meet up with us, with his mother, sister and her two kids. Albanians are evidently family oriented from family businesses to traveling as a pack. I was very touched that Alex came to see us. We met up a really nice dinner place, and Alex’s mother helped us order the local specialties. “Auntie” didn’t speak a word of English but I had Alex translate so I could still include her in our conversation. Alex’s niece got on with my kids like a house on fire, she didn’t speak much English and my two don’t speak a lick of Albanian, yet they communicated. Kids are so brilliant.

The next morning, we were a bit tardy, but Alex patiently waited for us at the start of a hike to the Blue Eye. Tardiness was partly because we slept in, partly because my husband and son went for a run in the AM, and partly because we loved talking to Gjon. The Blue Eye in Theth, is an unmarked hike, as is any other hike in this region. You have a generic idea on which direction you need to be going thanks to GPS, but there is no path, no mile-marker, no indication of if you’re heading the right way.. The hike was challenging because it was a lot warmer than we had dressed for. And it was challenging with all the rocks and iffy terrain. The kids were troopers though. We had water but didn’t carry snacks – hindsight, we should’ve carried some breakfast bars. There were climbs and descends, views and more views, peaks and more mountains. A little over an hour later, we got to what we thought, was the Blue Eye. Crystal clear waters a picturesque albeit dodgy bridge over the space. Some hikers were jumping into the cold water, definitely not something I was going to do. But online pictures told us this wasn’t the Blue Eye. So after a short break, we decided to carry on hiking. And guess what, a 3-4 minute hike later we got to the actual Blue Eye. A stunning waterfall, and waters even more breathtaking than the previous stop. Alex and my husband both got in the ice-cold water for a dip. The hike up and back from the Blue Eye was worth every rock we climbed over and I’m really proud of the kids to take this on without complaining. I will let pictures do rest of the talking.

Gjirokaster Castle and Butrint National Park

Every Airbnb, guesthouse, hotel we stayed at was a discovery to be made. GPS is not up to date, and directions from hosts weren’t always easy to follow. Gjirokaster hotel GPS sent us to a dead end, we then looked up the directions as per host and were put back on the right path. A major shout out to my husband’s driving skills. Without his expertise we wouldn’t have been able to see a quarter of what we did – true for every holiday we take!

The hotel we stayed at, Hotel Kalemi 2 has spectacular views, we could see the castle from our room, and the outdoor breakfast area had breathtaking views of the mountains. We joked, I bet you people in Albania don’t pay extra for the mountain view – they are surrounded by peaks! Breakfast was a decent spread of veg, eggs, my stable – yogurt w honey.

Gjirokaster, the city, has a larger souvenir/ vendor selection with lots of restaurants, bars, ice cream parlors. The problem though is the bars, where we stayed the night they had loud music playing till past midnight. The kids were not able to sleep, we asked the front desk for a fan to create some white noise, and they hung up on my husband very rudely. Nuwan figured we could download an app for that, and of course there is a white noise app. This saved us, and the kids were in bed in no time. Eventually I fell asleep as well, but the app really helped.

Day 1 in Gjirokaster was just spent wandering aimlessly in city center. Day 2 we had a plan to drive further south to Butrint National Park – another UNESCO World Heritage Site! The draw to explore Butrint was to learn a little about the Roman past of Albania. This archaeological park is protected and has some spectacular Roman ruins- amphitheater, frescos, old city walls, wells and views of beautiful blue and green waters. Butrint was a treat and for the most part we had the place to ourselves. I am a selfish explorer. That day we eat fresh seafood- muscles and prawns like you couldn’t imagine. Super fresh and cooked to perfection. Taking the day out to go further south and explore that part of Albania was well worth the effort. And I liked that we had now seen various aspects of Albanian history – Communism, Ottoman rule, the valor of Skanderbeg, Roman settlement and democratic Albania.

On day 3, we did a late check-out and explored Gjirokaster Castle. This fortress has been around, in parts, since the 12th century. Like everything else in Albania, the castle is flanked by stunning mountains, and is atop a mountain itself. Legend has it, that in the 15th Century a princess by the name of Argjiro jumped off the castle wall along with her child to avoid being captured by the Ottomans. Albania has a long history of being invaded – which reminds of India again. The castle is an imposing structure, with breathtaking views of the city below. Another Albanian gem covered with this visit & a UNESCO protected site. Next up – we did a pitstop in Durres, which I will skip as it was my least favorite place, too industrialized and busy for me. And the following morning we made our way north to Theth National Park, more to come on that!

City of a Thousand Windows

We left the capital city of Tirana and headed south to a UNESCO World Heritage Site, the town of Berat. Also known as the city of 1000 windows, Berat is located in central Albania on the banks of River Osum. This charming city is famous for it’s Ottoman style houses and unique roof structure. On top of a mountain in the center of town there is an entire city within the walls of Berat castle. Cobbled – stone streets, castle overlooking it’s people, mountains all around, river (albeit smelly), bridges, medieval architecture, mosque and church stones throw distance from one another made Berat an absolute delight to visit.

The first evening we got there, we checked into our guesthouse, dropped our bags and went on to explore the town. Kids wanted a bite to eat so we found a quiet place by the river. Walking around town is a visual treat. We waited till sundown and took some more pictures with the city lights on before making our way back to the guesthouse. That night we had paid to eat at our guesthouse, that way we didn’t need to make our way back in the dark. Hotel Amalia fit our needs perfectly. Clean and quiet digs, homecooked meals from Albanian mom, few rooms and gracious hosts and great company. The following morning at breakfast we met a lively 84-year-old German man, that we called Uncle Vernan. He reminded us a lot of our friends-like-family Grandpa Grant.

After a wholesome breakfast, we checked out of the hotel and made our way to explore Berat Castle. Same drill as always, we try and find a parking spot closest to the castle walls so we can explore the area thoroughly via foot, instead of getting the kids tired from just reaching the destination.

Berat castle reminded me in parts of Greece, and parts of Turkey. People still live within the castle walls and there are small vendors selling goods and restaurants tucked away all over the place. We found a wonderful place w a view to grab lunch and got to talk to the owner. The owner of Mbrica, shared with us that this was his family name and they have lived within Berat for generations. He aired out grievances about corruption and shared his views on the future of Albania. It was refreshing to talk to a local not afraid to speak his mind. 

Post lunch, we got back in the car and started making our way to next destination – Gjirokaster with a clear plan to explore Gjirokaster Castle and spend a day at Butrint National Park. More to come on that.

Albanian Bunkers- Fear and Paranoia

Dictator Enver Hoxha ruled over Albania for almost half a century during this time Albania was the most isolated country in Europe. It was also the poorest European nation during the cold war. Currently that title belongs to Ukraine, followed by Moldova and North Macedonia. It still doesn’t make sense that Albania is on the top 5 impoverished European nation’s list given that Albania has the largest onshore oil field in continental Europe! Someone is profiting from it, and it’s clearly not the common man.

Albania’s isolation from the world was fueled by the dictator’s paranoia. There’s Cuban communism that still allows outsiders to visit and then there’s Albanian communism that didn’t allow her citizens to leave or let visitors in. The repercussions during that 50 year period go from severe – execution and torture of citizens to economic – stifling the tourism economy. Enver Hoxha had his people build 173,000 concrete bunkers throughout the country for citizens to take refuge if the “enemy” attacked. Most of these are abandoned single person bunkers with nothing to ponder about. But there are two bunkers – that I know off – that have been converted to museums which a worth a visit. Bunk’Art2 which is in the heart of Tirana, right by Skanderbeg Square. We did not go into this one as it showcases the history of torture which would be inappropriate for children. But we did visit Bunk’Art1 which is an engineering marvel. Taking pointers from North Korea, this Bunker is a 5-story underground maze, in the outskirts of Tirana, with a dedicated dwelling for the dictator himself and a smaller setup for his right hand man.

While there is no access to sunlight, the underground floors are far from claustrophobic. Tall ceilings, spacious room, an assembly hall that can comfortably house 80 adults with a big center stage, cafeteria area, gym and more. It is incredible to walk through. About half the rooms have posters, propaganda from the communist era, equipment like radios and phones on display and information printed in Albanian and English. A good 2 hours is needed to truly take in what this bunker represented. In simpleton language this is the perfect example of paranoia and doom’s day preparation. This bunker was aimed to shield the dictator and his cronies, only the political elite, from a nuclear attack – one that never came. The bunker was also largely kept a military secret. Incidentally the bunker was finished post Enver Hoxha’s death. 

I found the military liaison room and telecoms room all too eerie, with old black and white videos playing in he background where you can hear Hoxha’s voice. Bunk’Art1 is a brilliant showcasing of Albanian history from the Italian invasion, Nazi ties, collaboration w Russia, North Korea and China to the end of communism. We learned a lot from it and had the whole place to ourselves. Well done again Albania for letting us get a glimpse of your past

Krujë and Skanderbeg – Albania’s Pride

On day 3 of being in Tirana we decided to do a day trip to Kruja Castle, about an hour north of the capital. This fortress was built in the 5th Century and is one of the most visited places in Albania. 

Kruja Castle

As we got closer to town of Kruje, the roads got narrower and even more winding – driving here is not for the faint hearted. We paid to park as close to the castle as possible and then climbed up rather steep sidewalks to get to the main entrance. Let me talk to you about the roads, there is cobbled stones like you would imagine in Western Europe and then there’s ankle killing cobbled stones – very unforgiving pavements. There’s charming and then there’s painful. Good walking shoes are a must, this is not the terrain for flimsy footwear. 

Kruje is a picturesque mountain town. There is an old bazaar along the castle walls with shopkeepers selling rugs, pillow covers, trinkets, Albanian flags, jewelry and hats. This bazaar has functioned for over 500 years. The castle setting and walls are formidable. We walked around the castle and Vihaan marveled at the cannons – as all boys must. Within the castle walls is a museum dedicated to none other than the national hero Gjergj Kastrioti Skenderbeu, popularly known as Skanderbeg in English. Skanderbeg’s story is a source of inspiration to Albanians all over the world, and recently a hero to my two kids.

In the early 1400s, Gjergj Kastrioti was “given” in service to the Ottoman empire. Essentially a hostage, he was made to convert to Islam and conscripted. Kastrioti was a fine warrior, his skills on the battlefield earned him the name of Iskender Bey which means like- Alexander in reference to Kastrioti’s likeness to the Macedonian ruler Alexander the Great. After fighting for the Ottomans for over two decades, Skanderbeg defected with 300 men on his side, forged a letter from the Sultan, making him a feudal lord of Kruje. His coat of arms was the double headed eagle, which is now on the Albanian flag, a unique symbol and iconic image.

Skanderbeg was able to keep control of the town and defeat the Ottomans in 4 battles, always outnumbered by the Ottoman army but never defeated. He also converted back to Christianity and encouraged/ mandated others to do the same. Even after he died, it was another ten years before the Ottomans could capture Kruje. There are many details I’m glossing over here in the interest of time.

Skanderbeg in Battle and Helmet Replica

Now to the fun facts – Skanderbeg’s helmet has a goat on it, there is a replica of his helmet in Kruja Castle. The original is sadly in an Art Museum in Vienna. I think Albanians should ask for its safe return to Kruje where it belongs. When we saw the replica, Vihaan commented, “Skanderbeg is the original GOAT!” Why are kids so brilliant? Skanderbeg with a goat on his helmet, undefeated in every battle he fought, is the original GOAT – copyright pending. You’re welcome Albania, I share this gem with you.

To my Indian sisters and brothers, Skanderbeg’s imagery, his fight against the mighty Ottoman Empire reminds me of our very own Shivaji! Skanderbeg is the Albanian Shivaji. Or since Skanderbeg is 1400s and Shivaji is 1600s, is Shivaji the Indian Skanderbeg? The parallels in imagery, fight against the mighty Moghul empire are all too uncanny, and I might be the first one drawing this comparison! You too are welcome for this golden nugget.

Tirana, the Capital of Albania

We flew from Chicago to Istanbul on Turkish airlines We were supposed to have a 4 hour layover and then get on a puddle hopper from Istanbul to Tirana with Air Albania. Well that didn’t work out as planned, we were holed up in Istanbul airport for over 8 hours. It was brutal, I won’t lie, but the kids were champs. They were on such good behavior, neither gave us any trouble at all. This would be a very different post had the all-day-at-airport been wrought with tempers and tantrums. Nuwan and I are grateful parents.

We ended up making friends with a bunch of the passengers, most of whom asked if I was Albanian. Others wondered why we chose to visit Albania with no familial ties to the country. My answer was always the same, “I met a guy at work…” It’s a good story and also a showcase of how random I can actually be. Unhinged, deranged, random, determined? I also struck up a conversation with a pilot, him and the crew were deadheading. The Italian/ Albanian pilot shared with us that Air Albania has a fleet size of 2 airplanes, all of two. Coincidentally 50% of that fleet was in repairs, so they literally had only 1 plane. 

The flight from Istanbul to Tirana was only an hour and half long, it was a relief to finally walk into Tirana airport. An even bigger relief was receiving our luggage and car seat. Nuwan got a new sim for his cell phone and we walked to a hotel across the street to pick up our car rental. Since the holiday I planned was a big road trip, we rented an SUV for convenience. Sidebar – Tirana airport is a tiny airport, I can see Albania expanding that to be bigger as tourism picks up.

First thing we noticed about the locals- they love to smoke. The number of Albanians that smoked was astounding, which I was informed is a sign of geo political economic stresses. My kids were troubled by it, I felt bad but it was unavoidable. Finding our Airbnb was a bit of a challenge, a theme that continued for the rest of the trip. GPS has not caught up with all the one-way streets and road closures, every guesthouse, Airbnb, hotel we checked into posed the same issue – it was hard to find the first time.

Independence Monument

Our first evening in Tirana was a quiet one, we wandered into the old town for supper, did some basic groceries, showered and called it a night. The next day, with jetlag and general exhaustion Vihaan slept in till past 11 am. We let him lie in. Nuwan made me a delicious coffee and we packed some snacks for our day of exploration. We walked from our Airbnb to Skanderbeg Square, it was a Sunday and the square was filled with vendors, like a farmers market. From honey to trinkets, Albanian flags, hats, everything for sale. I loved the vibe and very quickly noticed how safe Tirana felt. The vendors were not hawk-watching their goods, they were not worried about petty theft. We had exchanged dollars for the local currency lek. But realized Albania very willingly accepts euros. A point of contention amongst the Albanians- they are not part of the EU yet. Albania is part of NATO – go figure but not accepted in the EU.

House of Leaves was awarded European Museum of the Year in 2020 by the Council of Europe

From Skanderbeg Square we grabbed a quick bite to eat, walked up a decent flight of stairs up a clock tower to see aerial views of the city. We took pictures by the Independence Monument and decided to visit the House of Leaves. House of Leaves is a glimpse into the dark communist history with paranoia and deep surveillance and extreme secrecy from 1930s to the fall of communism in . 1991. Albania got a lot of help from North Korea during this dark past. We learned about Enver Hoxha and his rise to power. The House of Leaves is a testament to how progressive Albanians truly are. Instead of pretending they didn’t have a dark past, they are displaying it in full glory – educating the world about their history almost as a vow to never go back. It is a sobering yet strangely restoring faith in humanity visit. It was Nuwan’s idea to go there, I am glad we fit it in that first day we were in Tirana.

Finally, I want to acknowledge that every place we went- from the Clock Tower to House of Leaves provided free entry to kids under 12. I loved that the most about Albania. Please don’t change that in the future as you get more popular Albania.

Et’hem Mosque Built in 1791

Bonne Chance

I work for a conglomerate that values her people. Within that organization I work for a business unit that makes the effort and takes pride in forming human connections. One such event was organized earlier this year to celebrate International Mother Tongue Day. A note was sent out asking employees if they were willing to share a few lines in their native language. I signed up to speak in Marathi. The gentleman before me spoke in a language I didn’t recognize, so I took the initiative to strike up a conversation. The young man told me he was from Albania, instantly making him my favorite Albanian national (also the only one). I asked Alex (name changed for anonymity) a few curious questions about the Balkan state. In my head, it was in the Eastern bloc, to which I was educated that it is north of Greece, east of the southern tip of Italy. The Albanian language fascinated me, I asked Alex if it had Indo- European origins. While I was correct on that assumption, which was a no-brainer as almost half of the world’s population speaks an Indo-European language. However, I didn’t grasp the uniqueness of the Albanian language – it is the only surviving language of the Albanoid branch. This distinctive language is spoken in Albania, Kosovo, Montenegro and parts of Greece, Macedonia, Italy, Croatia to name a few. Incidentally, I was thinking about taking the kids to Croatia over fall break and I shared that with Alex. He suggested that I should consider visiting Albania instead. 

That statement planted a seed and that is all it took. When I got home that day, it didn’t take more than a minute’s worth of research to solidify my decision: fall break would be in the Balkans.

Sidebar- Can you imagine the power of influence the 26 yo has to convince me to visit his country with one statement? Or is it that I am that unhinged. Rhetorical question.

The way my husband and I travel starts about the same- we seek out the Lonely Planet guide book, read up about the destination, make a custom itinerary to meet our interests and needs and embark upon said adventure. The beauty here is the Lonely Planet guide did not have a guide to Albania! The English guide was set to release in Oct 2025. Now this was a promising sign of how untouched the country must be. Between the odds of meeting an Albanian national at work and there being no Lonely Planet guide for this great nation, reaffirmed my whim to visit Albania.

 

I procured the next best thing to Lonely Planet and got a guide from Brandt, to kickstart my research. By the summer I had a tentative itinerary that included a healthy balance of UNESCO World Heritage sites, castles and ruins; and spending time in charming villages. I emailed the plan to Alex and asked if I were missing something. He recommended that I add the Accursed Mountain range in the north if we were interested in exploring mountains, waterfalls and natural beauty of the Albanian Alps. That was a brilliant suggestion, I added 3 days of hiking and exploration in Theth National Park. 

 

And just like that I had a 12 day Albanian adventure on my trusty spreadsheet and tickets booked.

Totality Awesome – Twice in a Lifetime

In August 2017, Nuwan and I left our 3 yo and 6-month-old baby in the trusting hands of daycare and a sitter to drive to Hopkinsville Kentucky aka Eclipesville to experience our first total solar eclipse. And that was a life changing, awe inspiring, jaw – dropping moment that I desperately wanted to relive for ourselves and create a new experience for our children.

8 April 2024 the moon cast its shadow on us, as the little rock eclipsed the sun in its entirety, visible right in our backyard. Totality was supposed to last for 3 mins and 45 seconds, a period during which we could look at the sun directly with our naked eyes without harm. And to witness we had family fly in from California and drive down from Chicago. There was a good hour long build up. Using eclipse glasses, we looked at the sun and a little part of it was bitten off, like a piece of bitten apple. Within the course of an hour (approximately) more and more of the sun was bitten off. The greater the coverage, the cooler it got… critters got louder, birds started chirping and our neighbors dog decided to start barking from the confusion. The diffused light is a perplexing situation, the skies were blue and clear, yet it was getting darker. It is so bizarre, there’s no other way to describe it.

Now something we didn’t experience in 2017 that we did this time, if you stepped into the house it was super dark, dark like when a storm is passing through. But when you look at the sky through the window you see blue skies. And my home has floor to ceiling windows in the living space.

We geeked up the joint by making a pinhole camera to observe the eclipse, which can be done safely without eclipse glasses since you’re looking at a show as opposed to staring at the sun. Nuwan then poked a bunch of holes and now we could see 9 sun-shadows. Kids got a kick out of this.

And finally the moment arrived where there was just a sliver of sun still peeking through, and then like magic a totally eclipsed sun put us into totality! The children, Vihaan especially, instantly started screaming, while my cousin and his wife stood in awe. I was uncontrollably laughing, as we all took off our eclipse glasses and started directly at the sun. We could see the corona, and solar flares. We could see planets in the sky, as bright stars, this was new to us. The 2017 eclipse didn’t get this dark. And we were all just dumbstruck, wonderstruck, in awe of the cosmos. As we were nearing the end of totality we saw the brilliant diamond ring and that was our queue to put the eclipse glasses back on. We were all buzzing from the excitement, Aarini wanted to create a time machine to experience it again. Vihaan was incomprehensible. All that build up, the anticipation, the nerves because it was supposed to be cloudy but wasn’t, was worth every single second of totality. Nuwan said, “That was Totality Awesome!”

Lastly, even with a tiny sliver of sun visible, it feels like there’s a spotlight on you. The tiniest crescent sun has the effect of floodlights. That’s how mighty our star is.

To have witnessed totality twice, been in the shadow of the moon, I am a self-declared umbraphile and a wannabe eclipse chaser. What a privilege!

P.S. It was supposed to be cloudy, which meant a good chance of missing totality. I had an Eclipse Playlist sorted but I didn’t play it, I didn’t want to jinx us. But for giggles, this was my playlist: Total Eclipse of the Heart (duh!), Ain’t No Sunshine, See You Again, Dark Side of the Moon, Steal My Sunshine, You are My Sunshine, Blinded by the Light, Fly Me to the Moon and when totality is finally over and the sun can be seen again end with Here Comes the Sun! 

Speaking at an Ivy League

Recently I was invited to talk at Brown University by a student-run organization called Umeed. Umeed’s mission is to help cancer patients in developing nations by fund raising and creating awareness on the health inequities across borders. They partner with Can Kids India, Pink Ribbon Pakistan and Foundation for Cancer Care in West Africa to continue their mission. I was invited because the president of the org watched my TEDx talk and read my memoir.

We were loosely expecting 25-30 people, 20 odd showed up. And that actually worked out really well. It ended up a close-knit session where I could make eye contact and speak to each attendee individually. I had prepared the material with a lot of thought to who my audience was. The demographic was largely male, almost all second generation Americans ranging from ages 17 – 24 year olds. I broke up my talk into sections. After a brief intro about myself I went to talk about my diagnosis, the reactions I received, the inadvertent victim blaming, followed by the cultural aspect of cancer. I then gave a few pieces of advice on what to say when someone shares something deeply personal with you and ended with the burden us survivors carry. A link to my talk should be available soon, I’ll share as soon as it is.

In the Land of Giants, I am not that little it’s the men that are tall

First off, kudos to the organizers and all the students that showed up. This is not a fun topic, lets just get that out of the way. What 18 yo voluntarily shows up to listen to a cancer survivor on a school night with no extra credit hours or incentive tied to it? Oh I forget, there was an incentive; cheap store-bought cookies out of a box and questionable lemonade, ha! I’m so used to corporate events that when ‘light refreshments’ is mentioned my mind goes to tiny portions of fancy hors d’oeuvres. This was the youngest group I had talked cancer with. Thankfully I kept the audience lifestyle in mind made sure to pepper (dark) humor into my talk. Now is this a questionable coping mechanism? Absolutely. Sidebar: This is the first talk I’ve done where I dropped the f-bomb! I did let media man Imaad know he can beep it out in the video.

We ended my talk by watching my TEDx talk and then opened up the floor to questions.

The first thirty seconds was quiet as there was hesitation in the room. But that silence was broken by, what I would say, was the bravest person in the room. I won’t share any details because I am not in the business of breaking trust. The questions were personal, insightful and the students were vulnerable. We talked about aging grandparents, family with special needs and how to have that difficult talk with the parents. Some got choked up sharing their story, some had tears. We talked about toxic positivity, false bravado and shouldering the responsibility of a caregiver. I was asked what kind of training would make for an effective oncologist, how to use empathy in everything we do and how to be a better patient advocate.

At the end of the event, few of the attendees asked for my email address. I am hopeful I hear back from some of them. One of the organizers told me she has never seen a display of raw emotion, be vulnerable and share intimate details in a Q&A like this. Brown Umeed ranks high up there in one of the most extraordinary experience’s I’ve had at a speaking gig. It is the courage of these young adults that had me floored. To be honest, I have colleagues that been the workforce for 15-20 years that could learn life lessons from these students. If this is the next generation of citizens we are cultivating, humanity has a bright future. It was an honor to speak at Brown.

The President’s Daughter

I recently finished a 600 pager book, American Prometheus, a biopic on J. Robert Oppenheimer only to trade it for another 600 pager. Glutton for punishment much? The book I’m reading is titled ‘America’s First Daughter’ is about the life and influence of Thomas Jefferson’s daughter, Pasty (nickname). It’s apt that today’s post is about daughters/ women.

India’s 15th president is the first of many things. Droupadi Murmu is the first person from tribal community, youngest in age and first to be born in independent India to be president of the nation. (India got her independence on 15 Aug 1947. It has taken us three quarters of a century to reclaim our original name. We are now known as Bharat and henceforth I will refer my home country as Bharat.) Mrs. Murmu was the first woman from her village to graduate from university. She is also the first tribal woman governor of any tribal-majority state in India. What Murmu wasn’t first for was being a female president of India. That first was taken by President Pratibha Patil in 2007. Murmu, in her role as Madam President, has been applauded for her compassion and deep understanding of government policies. She has both head and heart. People often write about her humble beginnings, having lived in poverty and personal struggle.

An article on Murmu in the Britannica mentions the terrible loses she has faced in her life. Murmu’s daughter died when she was a child, but goes on to mention she and her husband had three children after this loss. Brittanica then shares information about the years Murmu lost her husband, two sons, mother and brother. When I speak to friends and family living in Bharat they cite this loss, often saying Murmu doesn’t have anyone in her life with the husband, sons, mother and brother all gone. But there was a third child Britannica mentioned. A quick google/Wikipedia mention Murmu has a daughter that is still living. How is it that we talk about the loss of her children but don’t acknowledge Murmu is not all alone. She has a living, thriving, married daughter. Is the girl child that disposable or is that because Murmu’s daughter is married that we are considering her as someone else’s family and not her mother’s keeper? Murmu’s daughter has given her a granddaughter, the lineage of strong Indian women lives on.

Time and time again, I see this in Indian families- it is us girls that take care of our ageing parents. The emphasis on having a boy, carrying the family name is not in vogue. Many Indian families stop at one child if their first is a girl. Times are changing… but not fast enough. Recently I heard from a friend back home that she erroneously thought that she and the brother were equals in her parents’ eyes. Only to find out that her parents have signed off all the inheritance to her brother. We need to be part of the change, and we need allies. Men have to step up, in this case the brother needs to tell the parents he won’t accept the whole inheritance and that it needs to split 50-50. We need allyship.

Back to Droupadi Murmu, Bharat’s Madam President has suffered terrible personal loss, but she is not the lone survivor of her bloodline. Her lineage carries on with her daughter and granddaughter. Daughters matter and we are as much part of lineage and legacy as sons. Here’s to the President’s daughter, Itishree Murmu, know her name.