Priyanka Nair (Joshi)'s Blog, page 6

Reducing Stress Through Minimalism and Decluttering

Minimalism and decluttering could be your path to salvation. In this post, let’s talk about how choosing a way through minimalism and decluttering can have a life-changing impact on you.

We can search for anything online, and order any product and there comes a need to introspect between the need and the want, which we tend to ignore and that results in empty pockets, more stuff and small storage space in a house, more belongingness than its usage.

I have read a lot about decluttering because I love to stay organised. I make sure I donate or discard things if I am buying things, not only to make space but also if I am not using something it might get used by someone.

I had my first encounter with the real DECLUTTERING process through a very famous Japanese technique KONMARI, founded by Marie Kondo, who is the author of “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying”. It changed the way I looked at things in my house, I would question myself and my daughter – does this spark joy in our lives, will you need this after 6 months? Do you remember we had this all along? if the answer is No, then you know.

We can start decluttering from small things, like our wardrobe, our kitchen storage, our office desks or if you are determined enough then maybe the entire house.

Five benefits of Minimalism and DeclutteringIt helps you decide between what you actually need and what you want. Begin with your wardrobe, drawers, mailbox, social media accounts, toxic people in your life and unsubscribing to negativity.Minimalism and decluttering are also very internally connected as there are certain things in our house holding some negative memories, yet they are around us, which should be discarded immediately.Other than negative things, we do possess a few kinds of stuff which are very old holding deep sentiments, maybe from another generation but we need to figure out how important it is to hold on rather than to let go.It is said that if you have not used a certain product, cloth, electronic item or anything for six months then the probability is you will never use it again. Yes, exceptions are there as per winter and summer season essentials.Decluttering helps you to spark joy in your house, in your living space and also in your relationships. Mental Space cleansing it is.The Minimalist way

Now if you have a rough idea about what decluttering looks like, let us switch over to understanding Minimalism. You can also watch a documentary on Minimalism which is inspired by the real story of two friends Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus. They have helped over 20 million people live meaningful lives with less. For them, less is more.

It was a year back when I started decluttering things, especially clothes which were still in good condition, bed sheets, blankets, unused utensils and many other kinds of stuff. I don’t call it a donation but yes the stuff was in very much useful condition so I voluntarily went to a nearby NGO and handed three bags full of all the items. I felt lighter as if a weight from the house had been removed. My wardrobes could breathe, my bed storage was more spacious and my kitchen was more organised.

You know the best part of minimalism and decluttering is; that you make room for new things when you discard old ones, but this time only by measuring them through the need and want analysis.

I love to recycle things and have transformed my sarees into dresses and long gowns. The only thing I could not even think of decluttering was BOOKS, I have over 150 books some very very old but my books are like my biggest assets. I have never touched that area of my house and being an old-school avid reader I still am not an audio book fan but yes I have been able to successfully apply the basic rule of MINIMALISM, less is more.

There is nothing wrong with inheriting material for happiness but the problem lies with the meaning we assign to them. Everything is turning materialistic and artificial. Fewer people more stuff, more devices, more gadgets, more financial liability, and more stress.

How Decluttering and Minimalism can reduce stress:

Trust me it can, and here is how:

When you have fewer options, you don’t waste time on deciding what to wear, take the example of the Facebook face Mark Zuckerberg. Mostly seen in grey t-shirts, said “I really want to clear my life to make it so that I have to make as few decisions as possible about anything except how to best serve this community,”.When you accumulate less stuff you use them rather than simply holding them up. Once you use them thoroughly you make space for new items to replace them.Choosing to minimize is not restricted to materialistic things but also things which affect on a cellular level. Mentally or emotionally, which could harness our productivity.When you have less burden of liabilities or freedom from debt, and toxic elements in life, you stay in peace, you focus on better things.Last but not least it helps you stay in harmony with your mind and body when you have fewer things to think about.

I started with small things and I found it very useful, we have nothing to prove and nothing to explain to the world for our choices because most of the things we do in our life are to meet the societal standards to fit in. Of course, you don’t have to ditch your wardrobe for a set of grey T-shirts or live in isolation but we can adopt some practical ways to start implementing minimalism and decluttering in your life.

Have a light and clutter-free weekend

Much love and gratitude

Priyanka

​​Journaling for Mental Health – My coping skill

Journaling has long been recognised as a powerful tool for self-reflection, stress management, and personal growth. Through expressive writing, journaling can help improve mental health, enhance emotional well-being, and promote healing.

In this blog, I will share various journaling methods and provide practical tips for incorporating this therapeutic practice into your daily routine. I have been journalling since high school and began writing online in 2017 and it has always helped me to record and understand my thoughts.

Journaling Techniques for Mental HealthWrite without editing or filtering your thoughts, allowing your ideas to flow freely onto the page. This technique encourages self-discovery and emotional release.Use specific prompts or questions to guide your writing, such as “What am I feeling right now?” or “What is one positive thing that happened today?” Prompts can provide focus and structure to your journaling sessions.List things you are grateful for or things that spark joy in your everyday life, which can help foster positive emotions and boost overall well-being.Combine mindfulness meditation with journaling by focusing on your breath and thoughts in the present moment. This method promotes relaxation and self-awareness.Write down your goals and dreams, as well as actionable steps to achieve them. This practice can enhance motivation and promote personal growth.Or simply write what is bothering you. Give shape to your feelings in the form of words, describe every feeling and acknowledge your thoughts by putting them to paper.

Interested in a guided journaling experience? I offer therapeutic writing sessions designed to help you explore the benefits of expressive writing techniques and support your mental health journey. To book a session, please visit my contact page or book a slot here.

Journaling is an accessible and effective tool for enhancing mental health, emotional well-being, and personal growth. By experimenting with different expressive writing techniques and incorporating journaling into your daily routine, you can experience the transformative power of this therapeutic practice. Your journal could be a safe space for self-expression, so pick up a pen or your laptop embrace the journey and unleash your inner voice.

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Inner Child Work: What it means and why is it important

I hear a lot about childhood trauma and how our childhood experiences shape us into the people we are today. The more I learn about it I realise how deeply past traumas and emotional wounds can affect our adult lives in ways we may not even recognise. Inner child work is a powerful tool that allows us to reconnect with our younger selves, address unresolved issues, and foster personal growth.

In this blog, we will explore the importance of inner child work and try to find some practical steps to break the chain so that we don’t pass on the trauma to our children.

What is Inner Child Work?

Inner child work is a therapeutic process that involves recognising and healing the wounded parts of our childhood selves. Our inner child represents the part of our subconscious that carries unmet needs, suppressed emotions, and painful memories from our past. By addressing these long-held issues, we can achieve emotional balance and improve our overall well-being.

Why is Inner Child Work Important?

Childhood experiences, both positive and negative, lay the foundation for our adult lives. Unresolved emotional wounds can manifest as self-destructive patterns, low self-esteem, and troubled relationships in our present life. It highly impacts our emotional response, and our language in given circumstances and sometimes we don’t even know where this reaction is coming from. Inner child work is crucial because it improves:

Self-awareness: By connecting with our inner child, we gain a deeper understanding of our emotional triggers and behavioural patterns.Self-compassion: Inner child work encourages us to practice self-love and empathy towards our younger selves.Emotional healing: Addressing unresolved issues allows us to release emotional blockages, thus promoting mental and emotional well-being.Personal growth: Through inner child work, we develop resilience and healthier coping mechanisms, leading to personal growth and self-improvement.

Here are some book recommendations related to inner child work and healing past emotional wounds. Each of these books offers valuable insights and practical tools for inner child work, emotional healing, and personal growth.

“Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child” by John Bradshaw: A pioneering work on inner child healing, this book provides practical guidance and techniques for reconnecting with your inner child and addressing past traumas.

“The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” by Bessel van der Kolk: This book explores the impact of trauma on the mind and body, offering insights into the healing process and various therapeutic approaches to recovery.

“Recovery of Your Inner Child: The Highly Acclaimed Method for Liberating Your Inner Self” by Lucia Capacchione: Filled with exercises and creative art therapies, this book is a practical guide to understanding and nurturing your inner child for emotional healing.

“The Inner Child Workbook: What to Do with Your Past When It Just Won’t Go Away” by Cathryn L. Taylor: A comprehensive guide that combines cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and compassion-focused therapy to help readers reconnect with their inner child and work through past traumas.

“The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are” by Brené Brown: While not specifically focused on inner child work, this book encourages readers to cultivate self-compassion, resilience, and self-acceptance—all essential components of healing and personal growth.

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Healing: A Long Journey

Out of all the journeys I have been on – Healing is a long journey, and I am still travelling. It’s a journey that often begins in the depths of despair, where pain and suffering seem insurmountable. I feel like a tourist for all the places I have called home, all the places I have visited and stayed for a bit, I have left a piece of me.

This reminds me of Kahlil Gibran’s timeless masterpiece “The Prophet,” where he writes, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” His deep words of wisdom speak to the paradox of healing—that out of our deepest pain can emerge our greatest strength. It is through facing our wounds, embracing our vulnerabilities, and finding meaning in our suffering that we discover the resilience of the human spirit. I discovered my capacity to endure pain and learned not to lean on things not meant for me.

Healing requires perseverance

Healing is not a linear journey; it’s a series of peaks and valleys, of setbacks and breakthroughs. It requires patience and perseverance, as well as a willingness to confront the shadows of the past. As Rumi, the 13th-century Persian poet, famously wrote, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.” It might sound cliche when we hear or read things but when we experience things and then read these things, we feel the depth of words. In our brokenness, we find the seeds of our transformation, the potential for renewal and growth.

One of the most powerful examples of healing can be found in the story of Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani activist for female education and the youngest Nobel Prize laureate. I heard her on YouTube, after surviving an assassination attempt by the Taliban at the age of 15, Malala emerged from the darkness with a renewed sense of purpose and determination. Despite the trauma she endured, she refused to be silenced, using her voice to advocate for girls’ education around the world. Through her resilience and courage, Malala has become a beacon of hope and inspiration for millions.

In the words of poet Nayyirah Waheed, “And I said to my body softly, ‘I want to be your friend.’ It took a long breath and replied, ‘I have been waiting my whole life for this.'” The body stores trauma and healing begins with self-compassion, with extending kindness and understanding to ourselves in our moments of greatest need. It’s about embracing our imperfections, honouring our scars, and recognising the beauty in our brokenness.

Let us be gentle with ourselves and with each other, knowing that healing is not a destination but a way of being. Create your own space, your rhythm of life, sometimes, it is in the act of creation, of expression, that we find our greatest source of healing.

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Breaking Generational Cycles: Healing Trauma and Dysfunction in Families

Generational healing is a very long and exhaustive journey in which many individuals try to break the chains of trauma and dysfunction that have been passed down through their families for generations. It involves a deep understanding of one’s family history, understanding how past experiences have shaped the present, and actively working towards healing and transformation.

I recently finished listening to the groundbreaking book, “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma,” by renowned psychiatrist and trauma expert Dr. Bessel van der Kolk. In this book, the author delves into the intricate connections between mind, body, and trauma. He explores how unresolved trauma can manifest in physical and psychological symptoms and how traditional talk therapies may not be sufficient for healing deep-seated wounds. Through a combination of neuroscientific research, case studies, and personal anecdotes, Dr. van der Kolk offers insights into innovative therapeutic approaches that address trauma on a holistic level.

Generational healing – The body stores trauma

One of the key concepts in “The Body Keeps the Score” is the idea that trauma is not only experienced by individuals but can also be transmitted across generations if not addressed earlier. This intergenerational transmission of trauma can manifest in various ways, including patterns of behaviour, emotional responses, and even physiological changes. Dr. van der Kolk emphasises the importance of recognising these patterns and actively working to disrupt them through interventions such as therapy, mindfulness practices, and somatic experiencing.

Generational healing requires a willingness to confront the pain and suffering that may have been buried within the family system for years, if not centuries. It involves acknowledging the impact of historical traumas such as war, colonisation, and systemic oppression, as well as the more personal traumas experienced within the family unit. By shining a light on these hidden wounds and offering compassion and understanding, individuals can begin to break free from the cycle of dysfunction and create a healthier, more resilient family dynamic.

One powerful anecdote from “The Body Keeps the Score” illustrates the story of a woman who experienced chronic anxiety and depression, which she traced back to her grandmother’s traumatic experiences during World War II. Through therapy and exploration of her family history, the woman was able to uncover the roots of her suffering and begin the process of healing. As she worked through her own trauma, she noticed a shift not only in herself but also in her relationships with her children and grandchildren. By breaking the silence and shame surrounding her family’s past, she opened the door to healing for future generations.

Breaking generational trauma is not easy but by acknowledging the impact of past traumas and actively working to break the cycle of dysfunction, individuals can set examples of resilience and healing for themselves and their descendants. As Dr. van der Kolk writes, “The body keeps the score and stores trauma, but with understanding and support, it can also find a path to healing.”

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Family Dynamics and Mental Health

Family dynamics play a massive role in shaping our core memories and emotional well-being. As we grow up, it forms the intricate threads intertwined with memories, things said to us, perceptions, notions and miscommunication that weave together to become a part of our individuality. The bonds, conflicts, and interactions within our families shape our mental health, often serving as both a source of strength and vulnerability.

A nurturing family environment, characterised by empathy, open space for communication, and mutual respect, provides a crucial foundation for psychological resilience. Conversely, strained family dynamics marked by conflict, neglect, or dysfunction can exacerbate stress and contribute to mental health challenges such as low self-esteem, lack of confidence and anxiousness in the long term.

Family Dynamics and Mental Health – Taoist Philosophy

The Taoist philosophy offers complementary insights into understanding family dynamics and forming a mental balance. Taoism encourages individuals to embrace the natural flow of life, cultivating a sense of inner harmony and acceptance. Within the family context, this perspective emphasises the importance of adapting to change, resolving conflicts with equanimity, and letting go of rigid expectations.

The majority of family dynamics revolve around control, discipline, and instilling qualities which match the societal standards and not with the individual’s needs and capacity. As a family member, if we start putting people first and then the expectation from what they could do or what value they could add then I feel it will help to set the right expectations.

The total culture of comparison and criticism is unhealthy too, where th benchmark to success is set on parameters which are not related or in the interest of a particular individual. Instead of seeking to control or change others, we can learn to embrace diversity and appreciate each family member’s unique strengths and perspectives.

Moreover, recognising the interconnectedness of family dynamics and mental health underscores the importance of seeking support when needed. Whether through therapy, support groups, or open dialogue within the family, acknowledging and addressing psychological struggles can lead to healing and growth for individuals and the family unit as a whole.

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Empaths in Relationships

Empaths often experience love differently due to their heightened sensitivity and empathic nature. Their ability to deeply connect with the emotions of others can influence the way they express and experience love in relationships.

While their ability to empathize and connect on a profound level can be a gift, it also comes with its own set of challenges. On the bright side, empaths bring unparalleled depth and understanding to their relationships. They have this ability to intuitively sense the emotions of their partners, offering comfort, support, and validation in times of need. Their empathic nature tries to form constant intimacy and connection, creating a safe space for their partners to be open vulnerability and authenticity to flourish.

However, being an empath in a relationship isn’t always easy. The constant influx of emotions can be overwhelming, leading to emotional exhaustion and burnout. Yes, being an empath could be exhausting. Empaths may struggle to maintain boundaries and distinguish between their own emotions and those of their partner, resulting in a loss of self-identity and autonomy.

In a relationship where one partner is overly empathetic, there often emerges a dynamic of a giver and a taker. The empath, naturally inclined to give and nurture, may find themselves in a position of constantly meeting the emotional needs of their partner, sometimes to the detriment of their well-being. Conversely, the partner who takes may become reliant on the empath for emotional support, without reciprocating in kind.

Studies have found that empaths are more likely to experience emotional contagion, absorbing and internalizing the feelings of those around them. This heightened sensitivity can lead to greater emotional distress and susceptibility to stress-related disorders.

Open communication and mutual understanding with their partners can help empaths navigate the complexities of their emotions more effectively. Despite the challenges, there are ways for empaths to overcome challenges in relationships by learning to set clear boundaries, practising self-care, and cultivating emotional resilience.

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Depression in Men

Depression is a silent mental illness that often lurks in the shadows, affecting millions worldwide. Despite the increasing awareness surrounding mental health, societal taboos and stigmas continue to shroud experiences with depression in men, men struggle to confront this issue openly.

Through this blog, I am trying to shed some light on the complexities of depression in men, the impacts of social stigma, and the importance of breaking the silence. For many men, the mere acknowledgement of experiencing depression can feel like an acceptance of weakness. 

Societal expectations of masculinity often dictate that men should be capable of handling any challenge without faltering. They learn to put a mask on, internalise their struggles, fearing judgement or feel ridiculed if they were to express vulnerability. As a result, they suffer alone, grappling with overwhelming emotions without seeking the support they desperately need.

Depression in men – barriers and breaking the silence

Research has shown that untreated depression can develop in various harmful ways, affecting personal relationships, work performance, and overall well-being. For instance, studies indicate that men with depression may exhibit heightened irritability, aggression, or withdrawal, straining relationships with partners, family members, and friends.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, men are four times more likely than women to die by suicide, highlighting the dire consequences of unaddressed mental health issues in this demographic. It is the reluctance to seek help for depression that can lead to a cascade of negative outcomes, including substance abuse, reckless behaviour, and even suicide. 

Challenging the Stigma

Encouraging open conversations about mental health and challenging outdated notions of masculinity can help create a supportive culture where men feel safe to seek help without fear of judgment.

One study conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health found that men who perceived less social stigma surrounding mental health were more likely to seek professional treatment for depression.

Breaking the Silence Together

As a society, we can play a vital role by recognising the urgency of destigmatising depression and encouraging men to prioritise their mental well-being. Whether it’s through education, advocacy, or simply lending a compassionate ear, each of us can help break the silence surrounding men’s mental health.

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Book Review of “The Courage To Be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

“The Courage To Be Disliked” challenges conventional wisdom and offers a fresh perspective on the pursuit of happiness and self-fulfilment. Written by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, this book is a dialogue between a philosopher and a young man, exploring the principles of Alfred Adler’s psychology.

The book encourages readers to free themselves from the burden of seeking approval from others and embrace the courage to be disliked. It presents various arguments expressing that true freedom comes from accepting oneself the way they are and choosing one’s path regardless of others’ opinions.

How do we gain the courage to be disliked?

Do you remember reading Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”? I don’t know somehow when I was reading the courage to be disliked, I could draw parallels with how the authors of the courage to be disliked contrast the idea of striving to be liked. While Carnegie’s book emphasises developing social skills and strategies for gaining acceptance, the Courage to be disliked advocates for personal empowerment through self-awareness and self-acceptance.

In a world where validation often comes from external sources, this book serves as a reminder that true fulfilment stems from within. It challenges readers to question societal norms and reevaluate their own beliefs about success and happiness.

Moreover, the book prompts reflection on the evolution of human thought. Where once we sought acceptance and approval as a means of survival, we are now challenged to embrace our individuality and stand firm in our convictions, even if it means facing criticism or rejection. I think this is the new way of life now, while we work on building resilience, we also might need to embrace ourselves in every possible way.

I see this book as a reminder that true courage lies in embracing our imperfections and embracing the discomfort of being disliked, not fitting in rather than conforming to the expectations of others. It is a hard thing to do but I feel the most liberating one and let you have control over your life.

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Biophilia and Mental Health

I recently learned that we have a term to define this connection – “Biophilia” which is more than just a love for nature—it’s a fundamental aspect of our psychological makeup that has implications for our mental health. It highlights the inherent human tendency to seek connections with nature and other forms of life.

In our technology-driven world, it’s easy to feel disconnected from nature but I firmly believe in the deep connection to the natural world that could play a crucial role in enhancing our mental health and well-being. A study published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology found that spending time in nature significantly lowered cortisol levels, a key indicator of stress. Various studies have shown that exposure to natural environments, whether it’s a walk in the park, gardening, or simply gazing at a potted plant, can have significant benefits for our mental well-being.

Have you ever realised how spending time in nature lowers our levels of cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone and makes us feel calm and relaxed? Whether it’s the soothing sound of birdsong or the gentle rustle of leaves in the wind, nature provides a sanctuary from the chaos of our everyday life.

Additionally, biophilia encourages physical activity, which is essential for maintaining both physical and mental health. Whether it’s going for a long walk, hiking, swimming in a lake, or practising yoga in the park, engaging in outdoor activities allows us to reconnect with our bodies and experience the joy of movement. Simply put, nature has a remarkable ability to lift our spirits and nourish our souls.

For me a walk around a daffodil-laden street makes my day, buying flowers, and touching leaves while I walk past them help me feel grounded. From incorporating natural materials and textures into interior design, and our workspaces to creating green spaces in living areas, there are countless ways to bring the innate healing power of nature into our daily lives.

Evidence Supporting Biophilia’s Impact on Mental Health

Numerous studies have demonstrated that exposure to natural environments can reduce stress levels and promote relaxation.

Mood Improvement: Research has shown that interacting with nature can have a positive impact on mood and emotional well-being. A study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that participants who took a 90-minute walk in a natural setting reported lower levels of rumination and reduced activity in brain regions associated with depression compared to those who walked in an urban environment.

Improved Mental Health: There is growing evidence to suggest that biophilic interventions, such as exposure to natural light and views of nature, can improve mental health outcomes. A study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found that incorporating biophilic elements into workplace design led to reductions in perceived stress, anxiety, and depression among employees.

Physical Activity Promotion: Biophilic environments can also encourage physical activity, which is known to have numerous benefits for mental health. A study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that individuals who lived in neighbourhoods with greater access to green spaces were more likely to engage in physical activity and experienced lower levels of psychological distress.

In conclusion, biophilia reminds us of the deep connection between ourselves and the natural world. By embracing our affinity for nature and prioritising time spent outdoors, we can nurture our mental health and cultivate a greater sense of well-being. So next time you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, consider taking a walk in the park or spending some time in your garden. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you for it

I am participating in #BlogchatterA2Z 2024 and will be writing one informational post almost every day for you Keep reading!