Priyanka Nair (Joshi)'s Blog, page 5

Are You An Emotional Masochist? Everything You Need To Know About Emotional Masochism

Who is an emotional masochist? Can someone really find pleasure in pain? Can someone like being in that self-inflicted zone of dismay and sorrow? Emotional Masochism is like an emotional attachment to your pain. Sometimes it is a forced choice or sometimes it is an unconscious choice, and for some people, it just becomes a pattern hard to break.

In this blog, let us try to understand some signs of an emotional masochist and see if we can identify any one of them around us.

Who is an Emotional Masochist?

Can pain become a habit? Can pain and sorrow feel like home? Will you believe that some people can’t help but somehow like it being there, in the dark zone, in the pain. They keep on rewinding the bad incidents in their mind and stay associated with their bad memories. They can anytime access their traumatic experiences and indulge in it, soak in all the negativity and be sad about it.

It is also called finding subconscious pleasure in emotional negativity. An incident or experience we don’t appreciate or like but cannot detach ourselves from it, masochist sometimes like it being there and they start relating/familiarising with that pain, and even worse they self-sabotage themselves.

Stepping over the same sharp stone, again and again, hurts us, but after some time we exactly become aware of the amount of pain it will cause for us, and then we no longer fear the pain, we get through it by actually going through it again and again, now just replace the physical pain with the amount of emotional pain one person goes and that’s how masochists see and feel the pain. 

5 signs of an emotional masochist 

It is not really hard to identify a masochist around you, we all become one sometimes. We over-stretch, get into unnecessary arguments, nag, and overreact over things. We know that all this will cause irritation, hurt, and trouble but still we find it hard to resist the urge of reacting and letting it go.

Now, when an element of emotion gets mixed with masochism it becomes a little more vulnerable. It directly affects your mental health if you deeply internalize it in your system. If you make it a habit of picking up fights, getting into avoidable arguments, repeating the same traumatic episode, recalling disturbing memories, and thinking about them.

All this and a lot more are the signs of emotional masochism. Here is how you can identify if you are one of them or if you know someone, please try to bring some awareness and help them overcome it.

1.) An emotional masochist will go back to the person who causes them emotional pain

We have seen this in relationships, wherein a partner in spite of being hurt and betrayed keeps on going back to the same person. Some people are attracted to relationships that aren’t going to work, still they continue.

2.) An emotional masochist will deliberately do sad things and soak in the pain

Like listening to sad songs, sitting with a cup of coffee or tea may be recalling a particularly bad event. Replaying the same stories that cause a lot of pain and sadness inside.

3.) An emotional masochist will not define boundaries with toxic people in their life

As they seek pleasure in pain, they hardly define boundaries, rather they keep on crossing those boundaries and knock on the doors of possible arguments and disagreements.

4.) An emotional masochist will dwell into negative self-talk and self-criticism

Are you someone who keeps on criticizing yourself? Do you dwell in negative self-talk? How does it help you? You feel more sad and worried, isn’t it? Your inner-dialog changes the way you see yourself.

5.) An emotional masochist will hold grudges and fight over the same things again 

Many of us will conveniently avoid situations wherein there is a possibility of a quarrel but an emotional masochist will bring out the past time and time again, speak the same thing and cry over the same pain. 

To conclude, I would say that masochism is not a mental disorder but masochism is a self-defeating personality disorder. Choosing bad over good, sadness over happiness, and ending up in situations leading to disappointments, failures, and grudges, even when they had better options to choose. 

So if you are one of them, take time to reflect and help yourself, speak to someone and if you see someone being a self-defeating person, get them help.

What Are The Common Causes Of Stress In Women?

Common causes of stress in women or a common scenario in a woman’s daily life, how does it look to you?  Piled-up laundry, undone dishes, kids screaming at the top of their voices, blowing whistles of the kettles in the kitchen? Wait, it is all this and beyond. Women are always questioned about what they do the entire day, they get so much free time to rest and yet complain that they don’t get enough rest. A housewife or a working mom, you are not allowed to complain and with this very thought starts the list of common causes of stress in women.

Stress affects men and women equally but differently. I will write a completely dedicated post for men in my next, but today I will talk about how stress affects women and what are the most common causes of stress in a woman. Mental health is still some foreign terminology for a majority of the population. No one sees the invisible wounds, the silent cry for help, sadness, and loneliness an individual goes through in personal life, all they get is judgmental views and labels.

Twelve Common Causes Of Stress In Women

Whether you are a working professional or a housewife, whether you belong to a high society or a slum area, stress doesn’t discriminate against you as an individual. Stress will enter your life in the form of a difficult lover you have been dating for a while. It could also take place in your life in the form of toxic in-laws who leave no space for you to live a sane life.

What are the other common causes of stress in women? I am not a therapist but yes I am one non-judgemental and unbiased individual who has been researching, writing, and voicing out for mental health and my blogs are just a medium to help you forge your own path.

1.) Marriage2.) Death of a loved one3.) In-laws4.) Chronic illness5.) Childhood trauma6.) Financial stress7.) Body-Shaming8.) Color-Shaming9.) Infertility10.) Post-partum depression11.) Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder12.) Loss of career path

1.) Marriage

Marriage is the biggest turning point in any woman’s life. It changes a lot in and around her. Suddenly a girl who was dreaming about a new life gets a reality check by entering her new life, where the baggage of expectations, responsibilities, judgments, and complaints awaits her.

Marriages in India are not only between two people but two families and women are expected to happily fulfill all their duties entire their life sacrificing their dreams and aspirations. Societal norms and stereotypes are such that a daughter in law is measured in terms of the set parameters which causes a lot of unwanted stress and pressure.

2.) Death of a loved one

Women and mental health have never been a topic of discussion or consideration in our ignorant society.  A girl who lost another father or a married woman who lost her husband early shatters into pieces and yet she is expected to live up to society’s expectations. Sometimes she doesn’t even get a space to mourn or grieve. The death of a loved one affects one internally and it creates a vacuum beyond measure.

3.) In-laws

One of the most common causes of stress in women is her beloved in-laws, a narcissist mother in law, a controlling father in law or a biased sister in law. Women are hardly blessed with an evolved in-laws family. From day one she is expected to adjust, sacrifice, and keep quiet. My heart aches when I see that even in 2020 daughters in law are burnt alive in the name of dowry. Only in-laws can do this and no one else. They hardly accept a daughter in law as their own family member, throughout her life she is treated as an outsider. How will it not take a toll on her mental health?

4.) Chronic illness

There is a possible cause that some women might be going through some chronic illness and in turn, it is causing stress in them For example, if a woman met with a severe accident and then is bound to use a wheelchair, she feels immobile, restricted and frustrated, if a woman who lost all her hair in chemotherapy to save herself from a disastrous disease like cancer, how will she not feel sad? How will illnesses and diseases like these not cause mental distress to a human being? But how many of us could empathize with such individuals?

5.) Childhood trauma

This is hardly spoken about but almost 25% of women go through childhood abuse and trauma in their life which leaves a long-lasting impression in their memory and also impacts their behaviour and developmental pattern to a great extent. Childhood trauma is such that when you actually go through something as a child you don’t really understand how it is affecting you and when you reach out to someone, no one takes you seriously. But when you grow up you realize how that one incident or experience has changed the way you look at life.

6.) Financial stress

One of the most common causes of stress in women is financial stress. This is another level of challenge for women who are single, single mothers, and managing homes single-handedly. Even if you are married and have a family, when the financial crisis hits the bottom rock you lose your mind. I have seen pretty couples turning ugly once they hit the crisis and losing families over the financial mess. How will all this not cause stress and lead to an unhappy and unfulfilling life?

7.) Body-Shaming

Not being biased here, but life is a little harsh on a female I guess. We are expected to look flawless. Body-shaming is one thing that has killed the entire confidence level in many women and they have lost their inner spark just because the weight of the expectations was too high than their actual body weight. 

8.) Color-Shaming

Another social culprit in running the beauty within. The judgment parameter for a woman is such that if you are fair you are lovely, but if a man is dark, he is handsome by default. A woman with dark skin colour is always criticized and demeaned. Throughout my life I have been bullied for my skin colour, even if I don’t take it to heart, people make a big deal about it, as if choosing ht skin colour is in our hands.

9.) Infertility

Infertility in women is not a disease, but society and their family members make a big deal about it and blame the woman for not being able to conceive. Right her lifestyle, job, and everything is questioned by tom, dick, and harry. Its treatment is very cumbersome and can affect all aspects of a woman’s life, which can cause various psychological-emotional disorders or consequences like frustration, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, guilt, and feelings of worthlessness in life. Struggles with conception can cause deep feelings of loss to the surface and the uncertainties that infertility brings can create great emotional upheaval for many couples. 

10.) Post-partum depression

Postpartum depression is again one of the common causes of stress in women, especially in new moms but again the most ignored area of society. It is a mood disorder that occurs after the birth of a child. It certainly does not mean that a mother is not happy to deliver a baby, but it causes a lot of biological, physical, and emotional changes in the mother.

They feel extreme sadness, anxiety, and exhaustion that may make it difficult for them to complete daily care activities for themselves or for others. Disorders like such only cause self-harm, lack of self-care, and difficulty in managing the day-to-day activities in personal purview.

11.) Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder is a type of depression related to a woman’s menstrual cycle which leads to severe mood swings, anxiety, and negative thoughts that present themselves in the week prior to the start of menstruation and dissipate once the menstrual period begins. It might disrupt normal daily functioning and could require medical attention in the long run.

12.) Loss of career path

This happens with many women, isn’t it? And this is another common cause of stress in women. If you are ambitious and career-oriented but had to leave your job just because you got married, your husband doesn’t like to see you working, you have a baby to take care of and your in-laws are non-supportive. You lose your career path and on the contrary, you are made to realise that you are a worthless piece who is sitting at home doing nothing, how will it not cause stress and frustration to the sanest mind in the world?

How does stress affect women in their daily lives?

A milder form of depression wherein a woman feels low, weak, and fatigued all the time. Reasons could be anything and everything right from a broken relationship, an unfulfilling career, an inferiority complex, troubling in-laws, financial stress, or any baggage of the past.

Although this is not much harm if it goes away in a shorter period through proper closures and counselling, the problem here is that due to the lack of Mental Health Awareness, none dare to read between the lines and hear those unspoken words.

After knowing all the possible common causes of stress in women, I am sure anyone who is reading this blog will like a woman in their life or help herself. You can begin by talking about it, You know it is time to talk when you observe some different behaviour in your wife, mother, daughter, or friend. It is not the time to fight, blame, or criticize but to understand what is bothering them.

Since you stay together, and know each other so well, you will be immediately able to understand when they behave differently and if the indifferent behaviour continues for some time then it is important that you talk. It will not only affect her but if a woman is under stress it will affect the whole atmosphere of the house.

So when you observe some changes,  it is time to talk when you see the below-mentioned persistent symptoms in an individual, especially if you know that person it becomes easy for you to gauge her before and after behaviour:

Inability to concentrate or remember thingsIrritable and exhausted easilyTerrible mood swingsAlways tensed and worriedLoss of interest in everythingTurning to be less socialSad, anxious, and hopeless all the timeFrustration on kidsUnnecessary lashing out at kids and feeling guiltyWants to sleepWants to stay aloneA change in eating patternA change in sleep pattern

How to deal with women stress and help her regain her sanity

First of all the biggest help, you can do for her is to be there and be aware of her situation. Assure her and make her feel comfortable. Be non-judgemental and unbiased when they are talking or sharing things with you. When you feel that things are getting out of hand, seek professional help, there is no shame in seeing a counsellor or psychologist. In addition to medications and therapy, a few below-mentioned self-help techniques can be helpful too, if you can encourage them to do so:

Find a support groupStay engaged in social activitiesExercise regularlyGet enough sleepMeditateYogaPractice other relaxation techniquesRead booksGo for a long walk in natureCycling and swimming also helpsStay in touch with positive peopleStay away from toxic peopleBring out the best in youFocus on good thingsReplace the negative thoughts with positive onesBreathe

Women are programmed in such a manner that they feel they have to touch perfection in everything they do otherwise society and family members will abandon them as if there is a rat race going on, a competition wherein you have to win, in the end, and you will be awarded. The biggest and one of yet another common cause of stress in women is they want to excel in everything they do. Ladies, please take a pause, reflect, and Godspeed. Introspect, bring awareness to your mind and body, listen to what your body says, and halt when you need to. Take a break.

There is no harm in taking care of your mental health, your body needs you too. If we ignore the signs that our body is giving us then we might end up in a no-hope zone forever, so ladies take charge of your life, and as Maya Angelou says, ‘Let nothing dim the light which shines from within. Self Love is not Selfish.

Identifying Red and Green Flags for a Healthy Relationship

Developing a healthy and fulfilling relationship requires awareness of the positive and negative aspects that can influence its course. Identifying red and green flags in a relationship can provide valuable understanding, helping individuals nurture a strong and lasting connection.

The most important point to note here is no one is perfect and each of us has certain personality traits which could be a red flag or a green flag depending on who we are interacting with at, what phase of our life. You can be the best for someone but not for the other, some people can like you but not want to be in any relationship with you and that’s ok. The colour of the flag depends upon what we can work with, and what we can’t. Also, it is essential to be mindful that despite red flags people deserve to be loved and before giving up on a person, we might try to understand their love language and make things work in a way which is healthy for both partners.

Red and green flags in a relationship – the yin and yang

The red flags are often right in front of us, but we ignore them because we are more in love with the idea of being in love than we are with the person we are actually with. We self-sabotage ourselves to restore peace and make things work but it is not one person’s job to do. The biggest green flag in a relationship would be it will be seamless when it comes, like someone willing to grow with you, work through challenges, and celebrate you. This article delves into common red and green flags in a relationship, enabling you to develop your relationship with clarity and understanding.

What are the most common red flags in a relationship?

Lack of trust: A consistent inability to trust your partner may indicate deeper issues that require attention. It hits from both sides, the inability to trust your partner and make them trust you. It takes a lot of energy to make someone believe in you and just when you feel at ease with the fact that they trust you, they demonstrate behaviours showing they don’t and creates a lot of tension between the two.

Poor communication or silent treatment: Healthy relationships thrive on open, honest, and respectful communication. If you have a problem or disagreement – TALK it out. If you don’t like the way your partner behaved or responded, tell them. The biggest red flag in a relationship is avoidance or refusal to communicate and take accountability for the actions, it can signify underlying problems and could lead to an unhealthy relationship dynamic.

Controlling behaviour: Attempts to control your actions, choices, or relationships with others can be a warning sign of an unhealthy partnership.

Unwillingness to compromise: A balanced partnership involves some level of compromise and understanding. An uncompromising partner may lead to imbalances and dissatisfaction. It might be backed by their past experiences but not healthy for the present one. Relationships require consistent nurturing, effort and consideration.

What are the most common green flags in a relationship?

Mutual respect: A strong relationship is built on respect for each other’s feelings, opinions, and boundaries. Celebrating your partner’s individuality and upholding their dignity are essential elements of a healthy partnership.

Effective conflict resolution: Disagreements are inevitable, but how you navigate them is crucial. The ability to resolve conflicts peacefully, listen actively, and find solutions together creates a secure bond. You cannot escape from a misunderstanding when two people are trying to know each other so closely, you cannot avoid conflicts but can work on them together.

Emotional support: Providing comfort, encouragement, and a safe space to express emotions strengthens your relationship. Someone with whom you don’t have to fear being vulnerable. Supporting each other through life’s challenges is a key aspect of a healthy partnership.

Accountability partners: Aligning your values and long-term goals can reinforce your commitment to each other and ensure you’re both working towards a common vision. Pushing each other to thrive for the better, and helping each other by simply nudging to stay in touch with their passions and aspirations makes a whole lot of difference.

Relationships are hard work. Especially in this new digital era, it has become a challenging task to meet and be with the one. To save you some sanity, understanding the common red and green flags in a relationship is vital for building a healthy, long-lasting connection. Being mindful of these indicators can help you identify potential issues, navigate challenges, and celebrate the positive aspects of your partnership. Remember, communication, trust, and mutual respect are at the top of the leaderboard.

Nurturing your mental health through coping skills

Emotions are an integral part of our human experience. They guide our reactions, decisions, and interactions. But let’s face it, life can throw us some curveballs, and we might lose perspective on how to respond to a situation. That’s where coping skills can rescue us. Coping skills are like a collection of tools in our emotional toolbox, helping us manage stress, anxiety, sadness, and other emotions in healthier ways.

So, how can we identify the coping skills that work best for us? The journey starts with self-awareness. Knowing what we need and what works best for us. Take some time to reflect on how you typically react to challenging situations. Do you find yourself getting overwhelmed easily, or do you tend to isolate yourself? None of it is wrong, but understanding these patterns can be a valuable first step in choosing coping strategies that align with your needs.

5 ways to develop coping skills

Let’s explore a few essential coping skills that you might consider developing:

1. Deep Breathing and Mindfulness:

Practising deep breathing exercises and mindfulness can help you stay present in the moment. When you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, take a pause, inhale deeply, and exhale slowly. This simple practice can bring a sense of calm and clarity to even the toughest situations.

2. Emotional Expression:

Give yourself permission to express your emotions. Whether through journaling, talking to a friend, or engaging in a creative activity, expressing your feelings can be incredibly cathartic and prevent emotions from getting bottled up.

3. Positive Self-Talk:

Our inner dialogue can greatly impact our emotional well-being. Practice replacing negative self-talk with positive and compassionate affirmations. Treating yourself with kindness can help build resilience in the face of adversity.

4. Physical Activity:

Engaging in regular physical activity not only benefits your physical health but also has a profound impact on your emotional state. Whether it’s a walk, a yoga session, or a workout, moving your body releases endorphins that can boost your mood.

5. Seeking Support:

Remember, you don’t have to go through challenging times alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a mental health professional for support. Talking about your feelings can provide fresh perspectives and a sense of connection.

Developing coping skills is a gradual process, much like building a muscle. It takes time and consistent practice. What works for one person might not work for another, and that’s okay. The key is to explore different techniques and find what resonates with you.

Here’s a simple exercise for my readers: I encourage you to take a few moments each day to check in with yourself. Ask how you’re feeling, what is making you feel that way and what would help you the most in that situation – try to identify a coping skill matching that. Over time, you’ll create a personalised toolbox filled with different tools that will help you strengthen your emotional well-being.

Self-managerial effectiveness

Self-managerial effectiveness refers to an individual’s ability to manage their own performance, productivity, and personal development in a way that leads to success and accomplishment of personal goals. It involves the application of self-management techniques and strategies to maximize one’s potential and achieve optimal results.

Some key aspects of self-managerial effectiveness include

Self-awareness: Understanding one’s strengths, weaknesses, values, and emotions is crucial for personal growth and success.

Goal setting: Establishing clear, realistic, and measurable goals provides direction and motivation.

Time management: Effectively prioritising tasks and managing time leads to increased productivity and better work-life balance.

Self-discipline: Maintaining focus and commitment to goals, even in the face of challenges or distractions, is essential for success.

Self-motivation: Cultivating intrinsic motivation and a positive mindset helps individuals overcome obstacles and stay focused on their goals.

Continuous learning: Pursuing knowledge and personal growth through learning new skills and staying updated on industry trends contributes to long-term success.

Adaptability: Embracing change and being flexible in response to new situations or challenges is key to personal growth and resilience.

Decision-making: Making sound, well-informed decisions based on careful consideration of available information is essential for personal success.

Emotional intelligence: Recognising, understanding, and managing emotions contributes to better relationships, communication, and collaboration.

Self-care: Prioritising physical and mental well-being by engaging in healthy habits, such as exercise, proper nutrition, and stress management, supports overall performance.

By developing these self-management skills and strategies, individuals can enhance their effectiveness in managing their personal and professional lives, leading to greater success and fulfilment.

7 steps to MAKE it right when nothing FEELS right

We often go through days when nothing feels alright, we want to get up and get going but how to feel alright when nothing feels right? How do we gain that motivation to carry on the dark and gloomy days? Let us explore some ways through this blog post.

How to feel alright when nothing feels right?

1.) Acknowledge the Feeling

It’s completely normal to experience times when nothing seems to align or feel right. It is essential to acknowledge these emotions and not abandon them. How to feel alright when nothing feels right? Remind yourself – it’s okay to feel lost or overwhelmed and not have everything sorted at once.

2.) Practice Self-Compassion

When we’re facing challenging situations, we tend to be hard on ourselves. Practising self-compassion and treating yourself with kindness, just as you would treat a friend going through a tough moment. Allow yourself to feel the emotions without judgment.

3.) Pause and Reflect

Take a moment to pause and reflect. Identify the sources of your discomfort or discontent. Write it down, till you figure out the exact pain point. Understanding the root cause of your feelings can help you gain perspective and clarity.

4.) Attitude of gratitude

Cultivating gratitude and mindfulness can be powerful tools to shift your focus away from negativity. Each day, take a moment to reflect on the things you’re grateful for, even the small joys that often go unnoticed.

5.) Set Realistic Goals

How to feel alright when nothing feels right? Set smaller and achievable goals for yourself. These can be as simple as going for a walk, reading a book, listening to a podcast or learning something new. Accomplishing these goals can provide a sense of accomplishment and motivation.

6.) Focus on What You Can Control

During uncertain times, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by circumstances beyond our control. Instead, focus on aspects of life that you can influence. Concentrate on your reactions, decisions, and actions.

7.) Reach Out for Support

Remember, you don’t have to face challenges alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a support network for a listening ear and understanding. Sometimes, sharing your feelings can lighten the emotional burden. Do not over analyse what you share and do not worry about what others will think of you.

It is natural to feel disoriented at times and it’s okay not to have everything figured out. How to feel alright when nothing feels right? By practising self-compassion, gratitude, and adaptability, you can find strength and positivity when nothing feels right.

Love and light,

Priyanka

Why do People Ghost? The Psychology Behind Avoidance

Have you ever been on the receiving end of ghosting – that sudden, unexplained silence from someone you thought you had a connection with? Why do people ghost someone? It’s an experience that can leave us feeling confused, frustrated, and rejected. But have you ever wondered why people choose to ghost rather than communicate openly? I was intrigued by this phenomenon and want to delve into the reasons behind it.

Ghosting, a term popularised in the digital age, refers to abruptly cutting off communication without explanation. While this behaviour might seem hurtful or even cruel, understanding the psychology behind it can help us approach such situations more empathetically.

Why do people ghost?

Here are some common reasons why people might ghost instead of communicating directly.

Fear of confrontation: Some individuals struggle with how others might react to their honesty. They worry about hurting someone’s feelings or being unable to handle the other person’s response. In such cases, ghosting can feel like the easier, albeit unhealthier, option.

Self-preservation and emotional immaturity: Ghosting can be a self-protective measure. When people feel overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally triggered, they may choose to disengage entirely rather than confront their feelings. However, this behaviour indicates a lack of emotional maturity and effective communication skills.

Plenty of fish: The digital era offers endless options for connections, making it easier to disengage from a current relationship in favour of a new one. Some people even rationalise ghosting by reasoning that they’re simply pursuing better options.

Avoiding accountability: This is an interesting one. Ghosting allows people to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or explaining their decisions. In a way, it’s a form of escapism, enabling them to sidestep uncomfortable conversations and potential consequences.

Personal Anecdote: I recall a time when I experienced ghosting in a friendship, yes you could get ghosted in a friendship too. The sudden silence left me questioning everything, from my self-worth to my ability to trust others. It was a painful experience, but it also provided me with valuable lessons on communication and vulnerability. Through self-reflection, I ultimately realised that the more I tried to mend things the more it went north and south. People comprehend information differently and it’s their choice and sometimes we just have to let them go. It is not a reflection on you but their inability to respond.

Impact of ghosting

Ghosting can have significant psychological impacts on the person left behind, often leading to mental health challenges. Here are some ways ghosting can affect mental well-being:

1. Self-Doubt: When someone experiences ghosting, they may question their actions, behaviours, or even their worth as a friend or partner. They might wonder what they did wrong or if they could have done something differently to prevent the ghosting from happening. This self-doubt can lead to low self-esteem and a loss of confidence entering into new relationships.

2. Anxiety and Fear of Abandonment: Ghosting can trigger anxiety, especially in future relationships or social situations. The fear of being ghosted again may cause constant worry about whether others will suddenly leave without explanation. 

3. Questioning Self-Worth: Being ghosted can cause people to question their value and worthiness of love, friendship, or professional opportunities. It’s common for individuals to wonder if they’re not good enough or if something is inherently wrong with them, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

4. Rumination and Overthinking: Ghosting can lead to obsessive thoughts and a desperate search for closure. Without a clear explanation, people may analyse every past interaction, trying to find a reason for the sudden disappearance. This rumination can exacerbate anxiety and depression and prevent individuals from moving forward.

If you are struggling with a similar situation, it’s crucial to recognise these effects and seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals to navigate these challenges and cultivate resilience.

What is the hardest part of being a single mum?

One of the biggest challenges of being a single mum is that the role is more demanding than the child. It demands strength, resilience, perseverance and a constant commitment to your child. While the rewards are immeasurable rather priceless, it’s essential to acknowledge the unique challenges that single mothers face in their day-to-day lives and people around think that they have got it all easy because they don’t have in-laws or a partner to deal with, to break the news they have the whole world to deal with – alone.

Being a single mother, I go through this a lot and the pressure is sometimes inevitable. Raising your child right, and providing the child with the best care and facilities become your prime concern and you don’t have the liberty to take time off for yourself because your child becomes your purpose and priority in life.

While raising a child on your own has its beauty at the same time, we must take time to reflect on our personal needs and mental health status. In this article, I will help you explore the hardest thing about being a single mum and offer some perspective shifts to navigate these difficulties with grace and resilience.

4 Hardest Challenges of being a single Mum

1) Balancing Multiple Responsibilities: One of the toughest aspects of being a single mum is juggling multiple responsibilities. Single mums often find themselves as the sole provider, caregiver, and emotional support system for their children. The never-ending to-do list can be overwhelming, leaving them totally drained, while they are trying to balance work, household chores, parenting duties, and personal needs.

Imagine you have a meeting you can’t miss, but your child has got a dental appointment they can’t miss, both at the same time – it has happened to me so many times and I have to sometimes choose my work over her needs, sometimes her needs over mine. There is always a sense of guilt and pressure that’s the practicality of life and we will always find ourselves in situations like these because we don’t have a fallback. But you manage, you find ways, you work through it. Release yourself from that guilt.

2) Financial Strain: Financial strain is another significant and hardest of all the challenges faced by single mothers. Raising children without the support of a partner can put a tremendous burden on the financial aspect. Imagine a world where the income of two doesn’t suffice enough, how a single parent can fulfil all the needs of one in every uncertain situation amid the cost of living crisis?

Single mums may have to stretch their income and work extra to cover daily expenses, childcare costs, education, healthcare, and more. Single parents who are sole care providers don’t take it as an option to rest and take time off. I never took time off even when I was diagnosed with diplopia (double-vision). No one forced me to work, but when you hold the fort by yourself, you cannot rest. I would not recommend this to anyone as it ultimately leads to total exhaustion but sometimes we don’t have choices. Seek support and take time off if you can.

3) Emotional Exhaustion: Balancing the demands of parenting, work, and personal life is another one of the biggest challenges of being a single mum. It can take an emotional toll and leave little time for self-care and emotional well-being. Single mothers often experience feelings of loneliness, stress, and exhaustion.

Building a support system of family, friends, and other single mums can provide much-needed emotional support. Taking time for self-care, engaging in activities that bring joy and talking to someone can help maintain emotional resilience.

4) Limited Time for Self: With a never-ending list of responsibilities, finding time for oneself is never easy. I try to carve out small pockets of time for activities I enjoy, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. It could be reading a book- even a page, writing, colouring, baking, taking a walk, or pursuing a hobby, anything that helps. Prioritising self-care allows single mums to recharge, reducing stress and increasing overall happiness.

Being a single parent is undoubtedly a challenging journey, but it is filled with immeasurable love, strength, and resilience you derive from your little one. I try to prioritise and create a realistic schedule that can help alleviate some of the pressure, allowing me to manage my time effectively. By acknowledging the hardest aspects of single motherhood and seeking out support, resources, and self-care, single parents can navigate these challenges with grace, ensuring a brighter future for themselves and their children.

Love and light,

Priyanka

What is the hardest thing about being a single mum?

Do you the know hardest thing about being a single mum is that the role is more demanding than the child? It demands strength, resilience, perseverance and a constant commitment to your child. While the rewards are immeasurable rather priceless, it’s essential to acknowledge the unique challenges that single mothers face in their day-to-day lives and people around think that they have got it all easy because they don’t have in-laws or a partner to deal with, to break the news they have the whole world to deal with – alone.

Being a single mother, I go through this a lot and the pressure is sometimes inevitable. Raising your child right, and providing the child with the best care and facilities become your prime concern and you don’t have the liberty to take time off for yourself because your child becomes your purpose and priority in life.

While raising a child on your own has its beauty at the same time, we must take time to reflect on our personal needs and mental health status. In this article, I will help you explore the hardest thing about being a single mum and offer some perspective shifts to navigate these difficulties with grace and resilience.

4 Hardest challenges faced by single mums

1) Balancing Multiple Responsibilities: One of the toughest aspects of being a single mum is juggling multiple responsibilities. Single mums often find themselves as the sole provider, caregiver, and emotional support system for their children. The never-ending to-do list can be overwhelming, leaving them totally drained, while they are trying to balance work, household chores, parenting duties, and personal needs.

Imagine you have a meeting you can’t miss, but your child has got a dental appointment they can’t miss, both at the same time – it has happened to me so many times and I have to sometimes choose my work over her needs, sometimes her needs over mine. There is always a sense of guilt and pressure that’s the practicality of life and we will always find ourselves in situations like these because we don’t have a fallback. But you manage, you find ways, you work through it. Release yourself from that guilt.

2) Financial Strain: Financial strain is another significant and hardest of all the challenges faced by single mothers. Raising children without the support of a partner can put a tremendous burden on the financial aspect. Imagine a world where the income of two doesn’t suffice enough, how a single parent can fulfil all the needs of one in every uncertain situation amid the cost of living crisis?

Single mums may have to stretch their income and work extra to cover daily expenses, childcare costs, education, healthcare, and more. Single parents who are sole care providers don’t take it as an option to rest and take time off. I never took time off even when I was diagnosed with diplopia (double-vision). No one forced me to work, but when you hold the fort by yourself, you cannot rest. I would not recommend this to anyone as it ultimately leads to total exhaustion but sometimes we don’t have choices. Seek support and take time off if you can.

3) Emotional Exhaustion: Balancing the demands of parenting, work, and personal life can take an emotional toll and leave little time for self-care and emotional well-being. Single mothers often experience feelings of loneliness, stress, and exhaustion.

Building a support system of family, friends, and other single mums can provide much-needed emotional support. Taking time for self-care, engaging in activities that bring joy and talking to someone can help maintain emotional resilience.

4) Limited Time for Self: With a never-ending list of responsibilities, finding time for oneself is never easy. I try to carve out small pockets of time for activities I enjoy, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. It could be reading a book- even a page, writing, colouring, baking, taking a walk, or pursuing a hobby, anything that helps. Prioritising self-care allows single mums to recharge, reducing stress and increasing overall happiness.

Being a single parent is undoubtedly a challenging journey, but it is filled with immeasurable love, strength, and resilience you derive from your little one. I try to prioritise and create a realistic schedule that can help alleviate some of the pressure, allowing me to manage my time effectively. By acknowledging the hardest aspects of single motherhood and seeking out support, resources, and self-care, single parents can navigate these challenges with grace, ensuring a brighter future for themselves and their children.

Love and light,

Priyanka

Personal Efficiency Through Applying Management Philosophies to Daily Life

When I was studying for my MBA, my favourite subject was organisational behaviour, managerial effectiveness and personal financial management. I saw these subjects in a different way and thought about how can I use these management fundas or philosophies in my personal setting. I would ponder over the pursuit of personal growth and self-improvement (I still do), and how it can be helpful to borrow strategies from the world of business management. 

Through this post, I am sharing my top favourite and popular management philosophies – Kaizen, Lean Management, Six Sigma, the 5S Methodology, and Total Quality Management (TQM) – that can be applied to our daily lives to enhance time management and overall efficiency.

5 Management philosophies to apply in daily life

1. Kaizen

Kaizen, a Japanese concept of continuous improvement, focuses on making small, incremental changes. By applying Kaizen to our daily lives, we can identify areas for improvement and set achievable goals to enhance our time management skills. 

2. Lean Management

Lean Management aims to eliminate waste and maximise value. In a personal context, we can use this philosophy to streamline our schedules and prioritise tasks that truly matter. Analyse your daily activities eliminate non-value-added tasks and focus on high-value activities that contribute to your personal growth and well-being.

3. Six Sigma

Six Sigma is a data-driven approach to reducing errors and improving processes. To implement Six Sigma in your daily life, identify inefficiencies in your routine or habits that are holding you back. By analysing and understanding your strengths and weaknesses, you can create strategies to overcome challenges and optimise your time management. Could use a personal SWOT analysis to identify them.

4. 5S Methodology

The 5S Methodology focuses on organising physical spaces for efficiency and effectiveness. In a personal context, this can apply to organising your living or working spaces. The five principles of 5S are:

Sort

Set in Order

Shine

Standardise

Sustain

5. Total Quality Management (TQM)

TQM aims to achieve long-term success through customer satisfaction, employee involvement, and continuous improvement. In daily life, we can apply TQM by striving for excellence in all areas, including relationships, personal growth, and overall well-being.

Involve others in your improvement journey, seek feedback, and adapt your strategies accordingly. We can create a foundation for personal growth, improved time management, and overall life satisfaction by remembering that small, incremental changes can lead to significant improvements over time.

Gratitude,

Priyanka