Misty Zaugg's Blog - Posts Tagged "unsolicited-promise"

Hi friends,

Searching for Allies has been having a great first week thanks to all of you! And awesome readers have already posted a handful of encouraging reviews - You're the best!

Check it out:

Searching for Allies: Book 4 in Aftermath

And a quick note: If you want to be notified when my new books come out - head over to Amazon and click the "Follow" button under my pic on my author page:

https://www.amazon.com/author/mistyzaugg

______________________

When a Promise is Dangerous. Warning Signs #6

Here's the sixth tip about behaviors that can warn you an attack is imminent from the informative book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin deBecker.

Remember, no single one of these seven behaviors predicts that an attack will come, but if you see multiple ones, be warned.

Here's the list of the ones I've discussed so far:
1. Discounting the word "No"
2. Too many details
3. Charm and Niceness
4. Loansharking
5. Forced Teaming

And for today:

#6 Unsolicited Promises

A potential attacker will make a promise to do (or not do) something in order to reassure you they aren't dangerous .

"I promise I'm a nice guy."
"I promise I'm not going to hurt you."
"I promise I only need your phone for a minute."
"Can you give me a ride? I promise my house is just around the corner."

Example #1:

A good-looking man knocks at your door, looking sheepish. (Charm and Niceness)

"I'm so sorry to bother you, but I just ran out of gas and my phone is dead. I'm such an idiot. I'm sure you've probably let your phone die, like me. (Forced Teaming).

Would you let me come in and use your phone? I promise it'll only take a minute. (Unsolicited Promise)

Example #2:

A mom rushes flustered to the back of a grocery store with multiple small children and one that has to go to the bathroom NOW.

A personable man gives the mom a sympathetic look. "Oh, wow," he says. "I really don't miss potty training." (Forced Teaming) "Can I help?" (Loan Sharking)

"No, I've got this," she replies, distracted.

"Really," he insists. (Discounting No) "I can watch the others for a minute while you run her into the bathroom really quick. No need to be superwoman." (Typecasting)

She hesitates, glancing toward the bathroom.

"I promise, I'm a really nice guy," he says with a disarming smile. (Unsolicited Promise)

***
These are examples of how a potential attacker will add a promise to give added strength to his reassurance that you don't need to worry.

Now that you know about this warning sign, it should have the opposite effect.

"I promise I won't hurt you."
becomes
"I'm planning to hurt you."

Remember, someone with no ill intentions toward you doesn't need to convince you they are safe and harmless.
***
Stay safe out there! And if you've noticed any of these warning signs in a real situation, I'd love to hear what happened. I enjoy reading your stories!

______________________

Misty's Writing Update:
With my sister's family with six kids in town visiting, we've been in the midst of enjoyable bedlam . . . and no writing (other than this newsletter).

It's pretty fun to take a break from the daily writing to reconnect with some family who live so far from us.

How about you? I hope you're able to visit with friends and family again as the covid pandemic finally begins to wind down in many places.

I'm also jotting down ideas for my new litrpg fantasy series, which is part of the writing process I really enjoy. Creating a new world. Complex magic and people. What's not to love?

Happy reading this week!

— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website

Hi friends,

We're so excited that you helped Deadly Lockdown reach a #1 ranking in the Natural Disaster category in Amazon!

And Searching for Resistance, Aftermath #5, has been having a great first week thanks to all of you!

Not to mention, Deadly Escape, Virus #2 will be out in just two weeks!

Your reviews have really helped the books do so well - Thanks!

If you haven't read them yet:

Deadly Lockdown: Book 1 in Escaping the Virus

Searching for Resistance: Book 5 in Aftermath

And a quick note: If you want to be notified when my new books come out - head over to Amazon and click the "Follow" button under my pic on my author page:

https://www.amazon.com/author/mistyzaugg

______________________

When is an Insult Dangerous? Warning Signs #7

Here's the seventh and final tip about behaviors that can warn you an attack is imminent from the informative book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin deBecker.

Remember, no single one of these seven behaviors predicts that an attack will come, but if you see multiple ones, be warned.

Here's the list of the ones I've discussed so far:
1. Discounting the word "No"
2. Too many details
3. Charm and Niceness
4. Loansharking
5. Forced Teaming
6. Unsolicited Promises

And for today:

#7 Typecasting (or manipulative insults)

A potential attacker will insult the victim to try to influence them to go against their better judgment and do what the attacker wants.

"There's such a thing as being too independent, lady."
"What? You're too racist to accept help from a black man?"
"No need to be scared of everyone. I'm just trying to help."
"You don't want me in your car? You don't give rides to poor people?"

Example #1:

A kind-looking man in the parking lot offers to help you load your groceries from the cart into your trunk. (possible Loan Sharking).

You refuse politely.

"Really," he insists. "Let me help." (Discounting No)

You don't know him and refuse again, hoping he'll just go away.

"I guess you're too good to accept help from someone like me," he says in a disappointed tone. "I just wanted to help." (Typecasting)

Feeling suddenly guilty, you apologize and thank him for his offer.

Without realizing how it happened, you find yourself stepping back while he finishes loading your car with a kind smile on his face. (Charm and Niceness)

When he asks for a ride to the nearby gas station, (Loansharking) you find it very difficult to refuse.
***
This is an example of how a potential attacker will use insults and typecasting to make you feel guilty, hoping you'll then do what the attacker wants in order to disprove the insult . . . which generally leads to you and him being alone where there are no witnesses.

Now that you know about this warning sign and can recognize how manipulative it is, it should be much easier to resist.

Respond with calm but firm instructions.

"I don't need your help. Leave me alone!"

You're not obligated to be polite when you feel your safety is threatened.

And remember, a stranger with no ill intentions toward you won't try to manipulate you.
***
Stay safe out there! And if you've noticed any of these warning signs in a real situation, I'd love to hear what happened. I enjoy reading your stories!

All the best,
______________________

Misty's Writing Update:

With my mom and dad in town visiting and new books releasing, most of my author work has been squeezing in time to upload manuscripts, finish editing, set up advertising, etc.

The not-so-glamorous part of writing, that I was mostly unaware of when I started this adventure - lol.

What about you? Have you started a new venture, only to find out there's a lot more involved than you think? Or do your plans always go along smoothly with no surprises? :D

Tell me it's not just me!

Happy reading this week!

— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website