Misty Zaugg's Blog - Posts Tagged "self-defense"

Thanks for answering my question last time about book lengths. The consensus is that interesting characters and a good story trumps word count.

Sweet, because I'm pretty much the same way. :)

Also, readers sent in a few more fun facts about plantain: Bruce mentioned plantain helps with nettle stings, and RobinBeth said the seeds are edible before they flower and have a wonderful nutty flavor. Thanks, guys!

I also had some great emails in response to using a cane or walking stick for self-defense.

Brian, who uses one for his bad back, was able to deter an attack just by threatening to use his.

And Matthew gave some great tips on how he practices ahead of time with his walking stick made by Cold Steel and out of solid polyurethane (which means it doesn't set off metal detectors): "As a test I used it to shatter heavy half-inch thick flower pots and slash open a gallon water jug and I have been very happy with it thus far."

Great tips all around!

So, on to today's topic: What common household items can you use to defend yourself?

Let's start with the awesome tips sent in by readers:

From Barrie: "A tip from my Army days, try rolling up a fairly substantial magazine secure both ends with elastic bands. Give it a try you'll be surprised how much damage you can do especially to the stomach and groin areas. Other weapons I have carried to good effect have been a length of light chain . . . cheap to obtain, and is effective at a decent range if used properly."

From Jeanette who uses a wheelchair: A large Maglight with 4D cell batteries which doubles for illumination and defense.

From Adam: keys between fingers and large umbrella - standard military black one.

From Cherie - hair spray works just as well and comes in small sizes. (as an alternative when you don't have pepper spray)

From Robin - Consider a utility knife (box cutter). It's razor sharp. And since the blade only actually extends an inch beyond the body, it isn't illegal to carry one anywhere except a courthouse.

So, how do you defend yourself with something just lying around?

Remember, the #1 rule about weapons: Practice before you actually need it!!

How to use items around you for self-defense:

1. Take a few minutes in various settings to get up, walk around and look at all the objects within reach. Evaluate them for how useful they would be against an attacker.
2. Practice. Visualize an attack, in say, your office, and practice grabbing items fast enough to use effectively. Enlist a friend or family member to be the "bad guy".
3. Repeat in different settings: work, home, the gym, out for a walk, etc.

Ideas for improvised weapons:

• 'Stabby' things: kitchen knives, screw drivers, letter openers,
• Large solid objects with heft for throwing or blocking: stools, backpacks, textbooks, trashcans.
• Small solid objects for throwing or striking: canned food, hammer, fire extinguisher (can also spray with this), lamp, glass bottle, pots and pans.
• Club-like items: baseball bats, golf clubs, piece of wood in the door track, broom, mop.
• Garage items: rakes, shovels, hoses, tools, etc.
• Debris: spices, dirt, sand or other small particles can be thrown to disrupt vision or distract while you escape.
• Even your phone: to call for help or start recording while you yell about it uploading instantly to the cloud in the chance it will scare them away. :)

And the best weapon of all? Your mind!

The more you learn to look around you, evaluate dangerous people and situations, recognize escape paths and possible weapons, the better your chances of defending yourselves and your loved ones successfully.

I'm considering adding a final discussion on this topic about pets helping defend their owners.
I'd love to hear your ideas and experiences!

Stay safe out there!

Misty's Writing Update:

Steph and I continue writing about a post-apocalyptic landscape in our books about devastating storms, we're a bit stunned by how crazy the storm season is this year.

We send our best wishes to any of you hit by these disasters.

It also makes us consider an interesting question:

If you're a fan of post-apocalyptic fiction, have you kept reading during the Covid crisis? During the storms, fires and other disasters? Or has the fear and worry of shortages and shutdowns been a bit too close to the stories you liked? Did you switch to reading happier storylines?

I'm just curious if the current crises have changed your reading.

I appreciate anyone who takes the time to respond! :)

Happy reading this week,

-- Misty :)

Quick note: If you want a notification from Amazon when I release a new book, click on my Author Profile and then on the orange "+ Follow" button underneath . . . and tell me what you think of my pic I chose :)

My Author Page

Wow! I got so many responses to last week's article about using improvised weapons. Thank you to everyone who took the time to write to me. You sent me so many new ideas that I'm compiling them into a part 2 episode on improvised weapons. If you have an idea and didn't send it in, you still have time!

For today, I'm starting a series on one of my favorite topics I teach in self-defense seminars: How to recognize behavior that might warn you of an attack.

I learned these from the amazing book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker, which I recommend all women read at least once. (There is some scary/realistic content, so screen it before giving it to your daughters.)

Mr. de Becker's premise is that an attacker will behave in certain ways to influence a potential victim before the attack. No single one of these seven behaviors predicts that an attack will come, but if you see multiple ones, be warned.

Here's the first one, illustrated in story form . . . because I love telling stories. :)

***

Discounting the word "No"

"How about I give you a ride home," Anthony said with a smile, waving a hand toward the dimly-lit parking lot as he and Julie walked out of the art building on the first day of their evening class.

"No thanks," Julie said with a polite smile. She shifted her backpack and turned to walk toward the bus stop a block further along the busy road.

"Really," Anthony said, hurrying after her. "I don't mind. And it'll be much faster than taking the bus."

Julie stopped and looked at Anthony, his charming smile and handsome features making her reconsider. But, no. She didn't really know him and would rather wait until they'd been in class together for a while before going with him.

"I actually like the bus," she said. "But thanks for the offer."

"Oh, I've spent many hours on buses," Anthony said, walking beside her instead of heading to his car. "The people you meet are so fascinating, aren't they? They'll probably give you some great ideas for our art class, don't you think?"

Julie nodded, but something was feeling off about this guy. Why did she suddenly feel uneasy?

"Hey, it's pretty late," he said, turning as he moved a bit ahead of her. "I can drive you home a lot faster than the bus and I'll drop you off, safe and sound. I promise. What do you say?" He spread his arms, his charming smile still in place.

But all Julie wanted was to get away from this guy.

***

Analysis:

Was Julie right about Anthony? What warning signs was she picking up on?

-There is a possibility that Anthony was just attracted to Julie and determined to pursue her. But, his refusal to accept her "No" doesn't bode well for a future relationship.

-When Julie refused a ride the second time and said, "Thanks for the offer," this would be when a person without ulterior motives would give her a friendly wave and move to his car. Everything after that was suspect.

What warning signs did you see in the story? What should Julie do in this situation?

There are no right answers. Just the process of thinking it through will help you recognize this behavior in the future. And hopefully help you feel more prepared with what actions to take.

Check out the next Warning Signs article for a few of my ideas.

Stay safe out there!

All the best,

— Misty :)

Hi friends,

Quick question for any US military or ex-military: If our bad guys steal a military truck, do they have license plates (regular or special military ones) or painted identifying markings on the truck? How could the bad guys change those to make it through a checkpoint that had been warned to watch for the stolen vehicle? . . . Google wasn't much help this time around, so thanks!

I love your emails and thanks to everyone who answered my question about whether you like seeing books come out close together or are willing to wait.

The consensus? Regular and fast publication! Though one reader enjoys the anticipation of not knowing when the next book will come out, like an unexpected gift. :)

Improvised Weapons for Self-Defense: Part 2
Reader Edition!

So, I gathered up the suggestions from all your awesome emails. Thanks for sending them in! I love them!

Reader ideas for common items you can use to defend yourself in an emergency:

From Sarah - One tip that probably not a lot of people would think of is a plain old ink pen. Probably more people than not carry a pen in their pocket, their purse or have one right handy. An ink pen jammed into someone's eyeball will do it every time.

From Viet - A spray bottle filled with ammonia will deter almost any animal. Never tried it on a bear. When I was young we used it to stop dogs chasing our bikes and car wheels. Will not harm the animal.

From Anna - I have always had a large wooden rolling pin on my desk as a pretend weapon in case of home invasions, which are now common.

From Lynne - My late husband told me about a woman who ended a serial rapist/killer's streak when he broke into her apartment when she was styling her hair - she turned her can of hairspray into an instant flamethrower with her lighter (she was a smoker) and torched the attacker's face, rendering him too injured to escape before the police arrived. Admittedly, doing something like that has the potential for the aerosol can to literally backfire and explode in the user's hand so it's not a tip to be considered unless in a dire emergency.

(Note from Misty: A handful of other readers mentioned the flaming hairspray too. And while I found this fascinating, I consider it very dangerous and would probably never attempt it!)

From Wendy - In "Death Wish" (1974), the title character uses $20 of quarters in an old sock to drive off a bad guy.

From Karl (who sent in a whole bunch) - Frying pan. Especially cast iron. Car keys in a fight. My belt with a heavy buckle. A sock with a rock or keys inside
A computer power cord. About 6' long and heavy on both ends. Metal coat hanger opened up is like 4'. We have this wooden tray with handles to serve mom breakfast in bed. Great shield. My shop has tons of stuff.

From Robin (a sample of her suggestions) - I took martial arts with my kids for several years. One of the things I learned was how to turn almost anything into a weapon. Broken things work even better than intact things. The arms of your sunglasses can be used for stabbing or slashing. Bic Stick pens or sharp pencils are great stabbing tools. Wire coat hangers make handy catching tools to divert hands or trip up attackers, sewing tools (rotary cutters, seam rippers and scissors as well as pins and needles) are as efficient at ripping skin as they are at cutting thread and fabric. There are a multitude of household chemicals which are also extremely effective. If you want to blind someone, vinegar is very useful...but it can be permanent, so make damn sure that's what you want to do! . . . And an excellent bludgeon is a frozen stick of hamburger.

Amazing ideas all around! Thanks for sending them in and I apologize if I missed anyone.

And on that hilarious last image of an angry homeowner beating an attacker over the head with a stick of frozen hamburger, I'll leave you with a bit of homework. :)

Homework

• Look around you right now and identify three things you could use to defend yourself if you were attacked.
• Try to do the same this week when you're in other locations: the car, home, work, the garage, the backyard, a friend's house, etc.

And I'd love to read any stories you have if you ever used an improvised weapon to defend yourself.

Stay safe out there!
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Misty's Writing Update:
We did it! Typed the last words in the second book of our storm series, though there is a touch of editing still to finish.

So, we use the internet and especially Google maps streetview ability to research the details for our story. Did you know you can go all over the world on Google maps and drop down to street level to look around, just like you're standing there.

So cool, isn't it? It doesn't make up for being quarantined, but is a pretty cool way to do a little virtual traveling . . . and location research for post-apoc novels! :)

But we were stumped by searching to figure out if US military trucks would have regular license plates or something else. So if any of you military people out there could chime in, we'd love to make that part of our story accurate.

Next week we'll move on to outlining Book 3 and hope to get it finished by Christmas.

We can't wait until the new year when we can start sharing these books with you, one every month!

Happy reading this week,

— Misty :)

Hi friends,

I'm glad you enjoyed the pictures of Halloween candy chutes last week. It was a fun celebration in the midst of a lot of 'not-fun' happenings. :)

Today is the second in my series on how to recognize warning behaviors that might come before an attack.

Remember Julie's story, with her classmate Anthony who won't take no for an answer when she refuses his offer of a ride home? We left the story with him following her to the bus stop.

And thanks to those of you who wrote back about what Julie should do, with some great suggestions:
• from Tracey: Julie should TRUST HER GUT! Then, quickly scan her surrounds for a safe place to potentially run.
• from Surekha: One thing that struck me was Julie “suddenly” feeling that something was “off” with Anthony, and feeling “uneasy”. That was her intuition talking.
• from Irene: I think Julie is right, this person is a stranger and, while he may be innocent, someone who doesn't listen to the word "No" is not someone you want to be alone with.

Warning Sign #2
Too Many Details

(When lying a person will often add too many details. They think it makes them sound more believable to their victim - "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker)

"Well, I'm happy to walk you to your bus stop and wait with you," Anthony said as he matched steps with Julie.

She walked faster, no sure how to shake the persistent guy.

"It's no big deal, I promise. I have a sister who I worry about, and I'd hope someone would watch out for her when it's late like this," he said with an easy shrug. "She's into art too, just like us. In fact, she was the one who suggested I take this art class. I've never really taken a class like this. I didn't think I'd enjoy it, but it's actually a lot of fun, don't you think?"

Julie gave a tense nod as she saw the bus stop up ahead. While the street had plenty of traffic whizzing by, the stop was deserted. It had begun to get dark and the street lamps were on.

"I do the opposite of art all day, boring accounting stuff . . ." Anthony continued to drone on with details about his life. Julie wasn't really interested, but it did make him sound pretty normal, not so sinister.

Analysis:

What is Anthony doing here? And how could it lead to danger for Julie?

• There is still the possibility that Anthony is attracted to Julie and determined to pursue her. But, the flood of details without any meaningful interaction from her doesn't bode well for her safety or his personal skills.
• Julies defenses will naturally go down the more she "knows" about Anthony. This flood of details is critical to his attempt to make the transition from stranger to friend, which will naturally lower her defenses.

Were you warned by anything Anthony did this time? Have you ever noticed someone using this technique to "sell" their story to you?

Hopefully thinking these scenarios through will heighten your ability to recognize this type of behavior and feel more confident in keeping yourself safe.

Stay safe out there!

All the best,

— Misty :)
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Misty's Writing Update:

Steph and I are forging into book 3 - about 25k words so far. This is the part I like, when all the fun stuff starts happening and we're foreshadowing for the big stuff at the climax of the story.

My question this week is a bit macabre. Unlike a disease raging through and killing everyone, in our story, society breaks down after the disaster. But many people make it through alive at the start. So what happens to them all? How do they die?

Imagine for a moment, it's 10 days after a big disaster hit and:
• The power has gone off and on
• Water is not working everywhere
• Food delivery trucks have stopped
• Stores are looted
• Occasional tornado or fires have hit.
• Police and/or National Guard are operating in pockets.

So, how would you envision vast numbers of people dying? And what would it look like? Bodies in the street? Big chunks of war zones with bodies? Technically they wouldn't be actually starving to death yet if they have enough drinking water.

I'd love to hear how you think this would play out!

Happy reading this week,

— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website

Hi friends,

Thanks for the Thanksgiving well wishes and stories you sent me. It's nice to take a little time for gratitude, especially when times are tough.

I spent quite a few newsletters discussing the use of weapons for self-defense, so today I thought I'd go back to a self-defense move everyone can use - no special skills or weapons required.

To envision how effective this technique is, think back to a time you dropped a heavy item on the top of your foot.

Instant pain, hopping around, maybe some colorful language, and your ability to walk and run were definitely hindered.

The Stomp: Self-Defense Tip #9

Um . . . so there isn't really a lot to explain here. The title pretty much says it all. :)

• You stomp on an attacker's foot as hard and fast as possible.
• It hurts them a lot.
• They let go.
• You run.
• They can't run after you.

The main point is that you know about the technique and do a little practice, mental or actual, so you'll remember to use your stomp when adrenalize floods you during an unexpected attack.

An attacker will usually concentrate on controlling your arms. They might pin them against your body, or even grab your arms and wrists.

The reason a stomp is so simple and effective is that an attacker can't do much to control your feet during an attack and your stomp can cause a lot more damage to their feet than any can of beans.

Here's a scenario that has you free from your attacker in seconds:

• In a dark, deserted parking garage (not a good place to be), you lean over to unlock your car.
• A hand clamps over your mouth from behind. A strong arm wraps around your waist, jerks you back into the attacker's body and pins both arms to your sides.
• You jerk your heel up into the attacker's shins and then stomp down as fast and hard as possible.
• Shocked by the sudden, unexpected pain, the attacker cries out and lets go of you.
• You sprint toward the exit, looking for other people while yelling out for help.
• He's in too much pain to chase you. Besides, you're drawing a lot of attention to the situation, so he hobbles away as fast as he can.
• You resolve to avoid being alone in deserted places like that again and to keep a better eye on your surroundings.

I hope you enjoy this simple technique and feel free to share it with others who might find it helps with to their ability to defend themselves.

Enjoy your weekend!

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Misty's Writing Update:

Congrats to anyone else who made the 50k writing goal for NaNoWriMo this month. As usual, I crammed in the last few words just under the deadline. It's a fun time every year to join so many other people working to create stories to share with the world.

Our third storm book is coming along nicely at around 80k and both Steph and I can't wait to share these books with you early next year. We've also got an amazing cover artist who is making the series come together and feel a lot more real. It's such a great feeling to see the book covers for the stories that started as a jumble of ideas and words in your head.

Thanks for all of your support and happy reading this week,

— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg's Website

Hi friends,

Quick note: If you haven't actually followed me yet here on Goodread, would you mind clicking the follow button? I'd love to make sure you get notified when my new series comes out!

I'm glad you enjoyed last week's tip on using a stomp against an attacker that grabs you from behind. I got a few great ideas back from readers that I'll be adding to future newsletters. Thanks for all your replies!!

Today, I'm sharing the details of another type of behavior that can warn you about an imminent attack from the amazing book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker, which I recommend all women read at least once. (There is some scary/realistic content, so screen it before giving it to your daughters.)

Mr. de Becker's premise is that an attacker will behave in certain ways to influence a potential victim before the attack. No single one of these seven behaviors predicts that an attack will come, but if you see multiple ones, be warned.

Here's the list of the ones I've discussed so far:
1. Discounting the word "No"
2. Too many details

And for today:

#3 Charm and Niceness

This one is so simple, but can be very dangerous because . . . it can trick you into letting down your guard.

Scenario #1:
A big man in a scruffy tank-top steps out behind you as you're walking to the parking lot where your car is way at the back because of the busy holiday shopping season. He's smoking with a perpetual glare on his face while multiple tattoos snake up both arms and the sides of his neck.
***
Are you a bit worried? On guard? Maybe you turn around and head back into the store to ask a worker to accompany you to your car?

Scenario #2:
A handsome man dressed in a suit steps out of the store behind you carrying a single bag with a few groceries. When you look back, he gives you a charming smile.

"Here," he says as he takes a few quick steps to catch up with you. "Let me help you with some of those."

"No, thanks" you say. "I've got it."

"Are you sure? I really don't mind," he says as he reaches for one of your bags.

"No," you repeat, pulling the bag away. "I'm fine, thanks."

"It's not a big deal," he says, reaching out again with a smile. "I'm just in town for a conference, so I only needed to pick up a few snacks to tide me over before the company meal. So, I don't have much to carry. I'd be happy to help you with these to your car."
***
Well? Worried or not? And did you happen to notice him using the first and second techniques? Discounting your repeated "No" and sharing too many details in an attempt to disarm your worries?

Yep - he could be much more trouble than the first man with his obviously dangerous looks.

Remember, though, this doesn't mean everyone charming and nice is a secret serial killer - lol.

Just that charm can be one of several tools used by an attacker to get you to let down your guard.

Stay safe out there and I hope you're enjoying the holiday season!

All the best!
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Misty's Writing Update:

We are finishing up the third book in our storm series this week and trying to pick a side character to write a fun bonus chapter about for the true fans like you guys.

I really love hearing from you and seeing your reviews go up on Amazon or Goodreads. It means a lot when most of my writing is done in isolation sitting here in front of my keyboard.

Hearing from a reader is the highlight of my day!

If you've read Combat Origin, my first in series and would like to leave a few words about it on Amazon, here is the link - just scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on "Leave a Customer Review":

Review Combat Origin on Amazon

Thanks for taking the time!

And Steph and I are looking forward to finally sharing our storm series with you early next year!

Happy reading this week,

— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website

Hi friends,

I hope 2021 is turning out well for you!

With my husband working from home, I got a chuckle when I saw mostly t-shirts in the laundry instead of the usual long-sleeved button up shirts from pre-pandemic. Sometimes I wonder how many of the pandemic-driven changes will persist when we finally beat this thing.

Speaking of beating things . . . time for another simple self-defense tip.

(Thanks to Dennis, one of my readers, for suggesting this a while ago.)

Your head as a weapon!

When you get right down to it, the front and back of your head are really just hard bone under a thin layer of skin.

This makes a great weapon to use during a close attack like a grab from the front or behind.

How, you ask?

Simple.

Hit your attacker with your forehead or the back of your head with a sudden and strong strike.

Aim for the nose, lips, teeth and cheekbones to cause sudden pain and an eye-watering response. Hopefully the painful shock will cause your attacker to loosen their grip, so you can break free and run.

To supercharge your defense even more, you can relax for a brief moment beforehand and pretend to give up and submit. Then wait for your attacker's grab to relax before you strike with as much force as possible.

Really, that's all there is to it. If you practice striking with your head - make sure you have a well-padded surface so you don't hurt yourself. And limit practice to a strike or two so you don't cause your own brain any unintended damage.

I hope you enjoy this technique and feel free to share it with others. Also, if you have any self-defense tips or questions you'd like to see in the newsletter, please send them to me!

Enjoy your weekend!
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Misty's Writing Update:

Steph is in the middle of moving this week and I'm having the not-so-fun task of investigating what could become another chronic medical condition for me.

Funny how life comes along and tries to disrupt all your best-laid plans.

I hope you're finding ways to overcome any challenges cropping up in your lives.

We're still squeezing a bit of writing in where we can, enjoying our characters who are always dealing with much worse than we are, right?

At least we have running water, warm bellies and a home with our families. Gotta remember the important things!!

All the best to you out there!

— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website

Hi friends,

Quick question: Did you leave a review on Amazon for our new book, Searching for Shelter!?

If so, THANK YOU!! It's up to 24 ratings which makes a huge difference for new readers trying to decide if they'll like it. :D

Here's the link if you meant to leave a review and haven't had a chance:
Leave a Quick Review: Searching for Shelter

On to a quick and effective self-defense tip, since I haven't done one of these in a while:

Pretend to submit, then don't! (Tip #11)

This tip takes advantage of an attacker's natural tendency to underestimate someone smaller and maybe weaker than him . . . especially if she suddenly acts really afraid and pretends to submit to his demands.

Example scenario:
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You had to park at the far end of the parking lot because it was full when you arrived at the movies (back when we could go to the movies). When you leave, it's pretty dark and deserted back there.

You fumble your keys out of your purse and just as you get them in the lock, someone grabs you from behind, one arm pinning your arms to your front and the other arm wrapped around your throat.

"Don't make a sound, or I'll hurt you," a voice hisses in your ear. "Come with me."

The man pulls you backwards, in a direction toward the even emptier side of the large movie theater, both of his arms tight and pulling hard enough to hurt.

"Don't hurt me," you say in a pleading voice as you go along with the man, putting up no resistance at all. "I'll do whatever you say." You try to relax all your muscles and not fight.

After a few more steps, he relaxes, thinking you're afraid and compliant. The arm around your body and the one around your throat sag just a bit.

It's what you've been waiting for.

You push with your legs, straightening suddenly in an upward lunge as you simultaneously smash your head up and back right into the man's face, making the back of your scalp suddenly sting. At the same time, you stomp back a rapidly until you get one of his feet.

The man howls in pain, both hands loosening as he reaches for his injured face and hops on one foot.

Wasting no time, you pull free and run at full speed back toward the movie theater's lobby yelling for help.

Next time, you vow to pay more attention and either ask for an employee to accompany you to your car, bring a friend or find a closer parking spot.
______________________

Hopefully, you'll never be grabbed in a parking lot, but this simple idea can help you create the perfect opportunity to break free from a stronger opponent.

Good luck out there - and thanks again for posting reviews for us!

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Misty's Writing Update:

We're halfway through writing the first draft of Searching for Resistance, Book 5 of our Aftermath series. Steph and I are throwing our characters into all kinds of trouble. :D

The big question is how much the conflict will spiral out of control as Rita is in trouble and April and company are racing to help.

How do you think main characters should get out of trouble in a story?
1. Save themselves by digging deep for the strength, cleverness or skills?
2. Be rescued by family, best friend, love interest, group of friends, etc.?
3. A combo of both - get themselves most of the way free, but leave a bit of the rescuing to their friends to help with.

I'm sure there's a case for all three in different stories with different main characters, but I'm curious which scenario you enjoy the most. Send me a quick note. :)

Enjoy reading this week!

— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website

Hi friends,

We had a sunny 65F (18.3C) day this week and everyone was so excited to get out into the sunshine for the brief anomaly. I hope you're able to enjoy some time out of doors wherever you are in the world!

And if you missed last week's email, Searching for Escape: Aftermath Book 2 in our Aftermath series just came out!

A handful of great reviews have come in and we are so excited!
Rosemary says, "A fascinating, scary and inspiring what if...? near future possibility that will keep you on the edge of your seat throughout."

And Patrick says, "Action Packed: The storyline kept me on the edge of my seat. I felt like I knew the characters."

I keep grinning when I read your reviews - you're the best!

Searching for Escape: Aftermath Book 2



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Why is his help dangerous? Warning Sign #4

Here's the fourth in my series about behaviors that can warn you an attack is attack from the amazing book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin deBecker.

I think all women should read it at least once. (There is some scary/realistic content, so screen it before giving it to your daughters.)

Mr. deBecker's premise is that a potential attacker will behave in certain ways to influence a victim before attacking. No single one of these seven behaviors predicts that an attack will come, but if you see multiple ones, be warned.

Here's the list of the ones I've discussed so far:
1. Discounting the word "No"
2. Too many details
3. Charm and Niceness

And for today:

#4 Loan Sharking

An attacker can offer unsolicited help before an attack to make the victim feel obligated to reciprocate, or at least let down her defenses more than she normally would. Like borrowing from a loan shark, you'll be asked to pay back much more than you received.

Scenario #1:

A young good-looking man (Charm and Niceness) sees you struggling to unload a heavy box from your car parked on the street in front of your house.

"Hi, there. Let me help you with that," he says as he hurries to grab one side of the box without permission.

"It's ok," you reply to the stranger. "I've got it."

"No, really," he insists (Discounting No). "Let me just help you get it to your porch at least. I know what it's like to have to move heavy things like this. I had trouble with my back a few years back and could hardly even lift a backpack (Too many details). I'm happy to help."

It's easier to just let him help, so you stop arguing. When you both get the box to your porch, you try to set it down so you can open your door.

"I've got it. No problem," he says easily, taking the box so your hands are free to get out your keys.

A worried feeling twists inside you, but you don't like causing a fuss, so you ignore it.

Once you've got the door open, he smiles. "Let me just set this inside for you," he says.

Before you can stop him, he walks inside, box and all, and sets it on the coffee table in your front room.

Now what do you do?
***
This illustrates how unsolicited help (loan sharking), niceness and discounting 'No' can lead to a situation she would have never imagined possible - she let a stranger walk into her house and didn't stop him.

What should she have done differently?
***
Remember, though, this doesn't mean everyone offering to help is dangerous.

However, this pattern of manipulating you to do something you normally wouldn't is definitely a warning sign - especially if a handful of these techniques are being used.

Stay safe out there and I hope you're enjoying some nice weather wherever you live!
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Misty's Writing Update:

One more week!

We'll finish writing https://amzn.to/38R067y Searching for Resistance, Book #5 in our Aftermath series this week! And then we'll send it off to editing, formatting and all the processing that happens to a book before it finally makes it to your e-reader.

We'll probably hop right into outlining https://amzn.to/38Q0e76 Searching for Victory - the finale of the series, since we have some great ideas about how all the characters come together in the climactic battle for survival, freedom and family. So fun! :D

Once we're done with that, we'll dust off our Post-Apoc Virus series that we set aside to do this project with Mike Kraus.

The first two books are written, and after we tidy them up a bit, we'll write the third book to wrap up a nice trilogy. Hopefully, a virus themed post-apoc will go over decently now that our real-life Covid virus is on its way out!

My six-year-old demanded yesterday, "Dad! When will Covid finally be over?!?"

Hopefully soon!

What do you think about virus-themed post-apoc stories right now?
1. Love them! Makes me feel more positive to read about heroes overcoming a virus-devastated world.
2. As long as the story and characters are well done, I don't really care what the world-ending event is.
3. Hate them - they hit too close to home right now. Maybe later.

Thanks for your feedback! We want to write the books you want to read, so your input is very valuable.

Happy reading out there!

— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website

Hi friends,

First off - thanks to Adam who wrote in and mentioned to be careful not to use toilet tank water during an emergency if you have a grey water system. He sent me an awesome description of his own water collection set-up that made me jealous! :D

You guys are send the best emails!

And just a quick note that Combat Origin, Book #1 in my dystopia series is at $0.99 and free to read in Kindle Unlimited for those of you who are new to my blog.

Combat Origin by Misty Zaugg

Jessie C left a really nice review on Amazon: "Fun read, was intrigued by hints of a larger plot in the epilogue. World was reminiscent of Divergent/Alita battle angel, but the tone was more Ready Player One with a street fighter theme."

There are five books in the series, so lots to read if you enjoy the first. :)

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The Back Elbow - Self-defense Tip #12

Today's self-defense tip is a fun and easy one - the kind I like the best.

Do you know how to pump your arms and elbows when you jog or run?

. . . then you already know a great move to fight back against a grab from behind: the back elbow!

Imagine an attacker who grabs you around the waist and tries to pull you back off your feet or into a waiting vehicle.

Bend your arms, just like you do when you run, and then slam your elbow back into the attackers solar plexus (the central area just below the sternum that will know the wind out of someone).

To be most effective, you might need to either twist a little or take a step to the side with one foot to line your elbow up better with the center of the attacker's body.

This is where practice comes in. Have a friend grab you from behind - gently to start - and take a little time to figure out how to hit the correct target with your elbows.

Once you have a bit of confidence, have your practice partner get some padding - a punch of tightly rolled towels, an old couch cushion, etc., and then practice striking with your elbow quickly and at full force.

Don't forget to copy the motion you use when you run. It's the most efficient and powerful way to do this strike. Winding up or bringing your elbow up and away from your body will only decrease the strength of the blow.

Have any of you had to get out of a grab? What worked for you? I'd love to hear your stories!

Stay safe out there,

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Misty's Writing Update:

We started Searching for Victory, Book #6 with a handful of very happy chapters for our big crowd of characters. Now, I won't spoil what follows, but you know things don't ever stay easy and happy in post-apoc novels.

But I'm curious about your opinion on the start of a novel.

Does it have to be crazy, in-your-face danger? Or is that only the first book in the series and you don't mind a happy start to the later books?

We figured by book 6, the finale of the series, it would be nice to see a few things work out well for the characters . . . at least until the next big disaster. LOL.

And for everyone who has been leaving reviews on books 1 and 2 in the series, I'm sending you a virtual high five. You are helping us so much!

Happy reading out there!

— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website