Misty Zaugg's Blog - Posts Tagged "gavin-de-becker"
Why is he dangerous? Warning Signs #1
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Wow! I got so many responses to last week's article about using improvised weapons. Thank you to everyone who took the time to write to me. You sent me so many new ideas that I'm compiling them into a part 2 episode on improvised weapons. If you have an idea and didn't send it in, you still have time!
For today, I'm starting a series on one of my favorite topics I teach in self-defense seminars: How to recognize behavior that might warn you of an attack.
I learned these from the amazing book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker, which I recommend all women read at least once. (There is some scary/realistic content, so screen it before giving it to your daughters.)
Mr. de Becker's premise is that an attacker will behave in certain ways to influence a potential victim before the attack. No single one of these seven behaviors predicts that an attack will come, but if you see multiple ones, be warned.
Here's the first one, illustrated in story form . . . because I love telling stories. :)
***
Discounting the word "No"
"How about I give you a ride home," Anthony said with a smile, waving a hand toward the dimly-lit parking lot as he and Julie walked out of the art building on the first day of their evening class.
"No thanks," Julie said with a polite smile. She shifted her backpack and turned to walk toward the bus stop a block further along the busy road.
"Really," Anthony said, hurrying after her. "I don't mind. And it'll be much faster than taking the bus."
Julie stopped and looked at Anthony, his charming smile and handsome features making her reconsider. But, no. She didn't really know him and would rather wait until they'd been in class together for a while before going with him.
"I actually like the bus," she said. "But thanks for the offer."
"Oh, I've spent many hours on buses," Anthony said, walking beside her instead of heading to his car. "The people you meet are so fascinating, aren't they? They'll probably give you some great ideas for our art class, don't you think?"
Julie nodded, but something was feeling off about this guy. Why did she suddenly feel uneasy?
"Hey, it's pretty late," he said, turning as he moved a bit ahead of her. "I can drive you home a lot faster than the bus and I'll drop you off, safe and sound. I promise. What do you say?" He spread his arms, his charming smile still in place.
But all Julie wanted was to get away from this guy.
***
Analysis:
Was Julie right about Anthony? What warning signs was she picking up on?
-There is a possibility that Anthony was just attracted to Julie and determined to pursue her. But, his refusal to accept her "No" doesn't bode well for a future relationship.
-When Julie refused a ride the second time and said, "Thanks for the offer," this would be when a person without ulterior motives would give her a friendly wave and move to his car. Everything after that was suspect.
What warning signs did you see in the story? What should Julie do in this situation?
There are no right answers. Just the process of thinking it through will help you recognize this behavior in the future. And hopefully help you feel more prepared with what actions to take.
Check out the next Warning Signs article for a few of my ideas.
Stay safe out there!
All the best,
— Misty :)
My Author Page
Wow! I got so many responses to last week's article about using improvised weapons. Thank you to everyone who took the time to write to me. You sent me so many new ideas that I'm compiling them into a part 2 episode on improvised weapons. If you have an idea and didn't send it in, you still have time!
For today, I'm starting a series on one of my favorite topics I teach in self-defense seminars: How to recognize behavior that might warn you of an attack.
I learned these from the amazing book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker, which I recommend all women read at least once. (There is some scary/realistic content, so screen it before giving it to your daughters.)
Mr. de Becker's premise is that an attacker will behave in certain ways to influence a potential victim before the attack. No single one of these seven behaviors predicts that an attack will come, but if you see multiple ones, be warned.
Here's the first one, illustrated in story form . . . because I love telling stories. :)
***
Discounting the word "No"
"How about I give you a ride home," Anthony said with a smile, waving a hand toward the dimly-lit parking lot as he and Julie walked out of the art building on the first day of their evening class.
"No thanks," Julie said with a polite smile. She shifted her backpack and turned to walk toward the bus stop a block further along the busy road.
"Really," Anthony said, hurrying after her. "I don't mind. And it'll be much faster than taking the bus."
Julie stopped and looked at Anthony, his charming smile and handsome features making her reconsider. But, no. She didn't really know him and would rather wait until they'd been in class together for a while before going with him.
"I actually like the bus," she said. "But thanks for the offer."
"Oh, I've spent many hours on buses," Anthony said, walking beside her instead of heading to his car. "The people you meet are so fascinating, aren't they? They'll probably give you some great ideas for our art class, don't you think?"
Julie nodded, but something was feeling off about this guy. Why did she suddenly feel uneasy?
"Hey, it's pretty late," he said, turning as he moved a bit ahead of her. "I can drive you home a lot faster than the bus and I'll drop you off, safe and sound. I promise. What do you say?" He spread his arms, his charming smile still in place.
But all Julie wanted was to get away from this guy.
***
Analysis:
Was Julie right about Anthony? What warning signs was she picking up on?
-There is a possibility that Anthony was just attracted to Julie and determined to pursue her. But, his refusal to accept her "No" doesn't bode well for a future relationship.
-When Julie refused a ride the second time and said, "Thanks for the offer," this would be when a person without ulterior motives would give her a friendly wave and move to his car. Everything after that was suspect.
What warning signs did you see in the story? What should Julie do in this situation?
There are no right answers. Just the process of thinking it through will help you recognize this behavior in the future. And hopefully help you feel more prepared with what actions to take.
Check out the next Warning Signs article for a few of my ideas.
Stay safe out there!
All the best,
— Misty :)
Why is he dangerous? Warning Signs #2
Hi friends,
I'm glad you enjoyed the pictures of Halloween candy chutes last week. It was a fun celebration in the midst of a lot of 'not-fun' happenings. :)
Today is the second in my series on how to recognize warning behaviors that might come before an attack.
Remember Julie's story, with her classmate Anthony who won't take no for an answer when she refuses his offer of a ride home? We left the story with him following her to the bus stop.
And thanks to those of you who wrote back about what Julie should do, with some great suggestions:
• from Tracey: Julie should TRUST HER GUT! Then, quickly scan her surrounds for a safe place to potentially run.
• from Surekha: One thing that struck me was Julie “suddenly” feeling that something was “off” with Anthony, and feeling “uneasy”. That was her intuition talking.
• from Irene: I think Julie is right, this person is a stranger and, while he may be innocent, someone who doesn't listen to the word "No" is not someone you want to be alone with.
Warning Sign #2
Too Many Details
(When lying a person will often add too many details. They think it makes them sound more believable to their victim - "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker)
"Well, I'm happy to walk you to your bus stop and wait with you," Anthony said as he matched steps with Julie.
She walked faster, no sure how to shake the persistent guy.
"It's no big deal, I promise. I have a sister who I worry about, and I'd hope someone would watch out for her when it's late like this," he said with an easy shrug. "She's into art too, just like us. In fact, she was the one who suggested I take this art class. I've never really taken a class like this. I didn't think I'd enjoy it, but it's actually a lot of fun, don't you think?"
Julie gave a tense nod as she saw the bus stop up ahead. While the street had plenty of traffic whizzing by, the stop was deserted. It had begun to get dark and the street lamps were on.
"I do the opposite of art all day, boring accounting stuff . . ." Anthony continued to drone on with details about his life. Julie wasn't really interested, but it did make him sound pretty normal, not so sinister.
Analysis:
What is Anthony doing here? And how could it lead to danger for Julie?
• There is still the possibility that Anthony is attracted to Julie and determined to pursue her. But, the flood of details without any meaningful interaction from her doesn't bode well for her safety or his personal skills.
• Julies defenses will naturally go down the more she "knows" about Anthony. This flood of details is critical to his attempt to make the transition from stranger to friend, which will naturally lower her defenses.
Were you warned by anything Anthony did this time? Have you ever noticed someone using this technique to "sell" their story to you?
Hopefully thinking these scenarios through will heighten your ability to recognize this type of behavior and feel more confident in keeping yourself safe.
Stay safe out there!
All the best,
— Misty :)
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
Steph and I are forging into book 3 - about 25k words so far. This is the part I like, when all the fun stuff starts happening and we're foreshadowing for the big stuff at the climax of the story.
My question this week is a bit macabre. Unlike a disease raging through and killing everyone, in our story, society breaks down after the disaster. But many people make it through alive at the start. So what happens to them all? How do they die?
Imagine for a moment, it's 10 days after a big disaster hit and:
• The power has gone off and on
• Water is not working everywhere
• Food delivery trucks have stopped
• Stores are looted
• Occasional tornado or fires have hit.
• Police and/or National Guard are operating in pockets.
So, how would you envision vast numbers of people dying? And what would it look like? Bodies in the street? Big chunks of war zones with bodies? Technically they wouldn't be actually starving to death yet if they have enough drinking water.
I'd love to hear how you think this would play out!
Happy reading this week,
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
I'm glad you enjoyed the pictures of Halloween candy chutes last week. It was a fun celebration in the midst of a lot of 'not-fun' happenings. :)
Today is the second in my series on how to recognize warning behaviors that might come before an attack.
Remember Julie's story, with her classmate Anthony who won't take no for an answer when she refuses his offer of a ride home? We left the story with him following her to the bus stop.
And thanks to those of you who wrote back about what Julie should do, with some great suggestions:
• from Tracey: Julie should TRUST HER GUT! Then, quickly scan her surrounds for a safe place to potentially run.
• from Surekha: One thing that struck me was Julie “suddenly” feeling that something was “off” with Anthony, and feeling “uneasy”. That was her intuition talking.
• from Irene: I think Julie is right, this person is a stranger and, while he may be innocent, someone who doesn't listen to the word "No" is not someone you want to be alone with.
Warning Sign #2
Too Many Details
(When lying a person will often add too many details. They think it makes them sound more believable to their victim - "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker)
"Well, I'm happy to walk you to your bus stop and wait with you," Anthony said as he matched steps with Julie.
She walked faster, no sure how to shake the persistent guy.
"It's no big deal, I promise. I have a sister who I worry about, and I'd hope someone would watch out for her when it's late like this," he said with an easy shrug. "She's into art too, just like us. In fact, she was the one who suggested I take this art class. I've never really taken a class like this. I didn't think I'd enjoy it, but it's actually a lot of fun, don't you think?"
Julie gave a tense nod as she saw the bus stop up ahead. While the street had plenty of traffic whizzing by, the stop was deserted. It had begun to get dark and the street lamps were on.
"I do the opposite of art all day, boring accounting stuff . . ." Anthony continued to drone on with details about his life. Julie wasn't really interested, but it did make him sound pretty normal, not so sinister.
Analysis:
What is Anthony doing here? And how could it lead to danger for Julie?
• There is still the possibility that Anthony is attracted to Julie and determined to pursue her. But, the flood of details without any meaningful interaction from her doesn't bode well for her safety or his personal skills.
• Julies defenses will naturally go down the more she "knows" about Anthony. This flood of details is critical to his attempt to make the transition from stranger to friend, which will naturally lower her defenses.
Were you warned by anything Anthony did this time? Have you ever noticed someone using this technique to "sell" their story to you?
Hopefully thinking these scenarios through will heighten your ability to recognize this type of behavior and feel more confident in keeping yourself safe.
Stay safe out there!
All the best,
— Misty :)
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
Steph and I are forging into book 3 - about 25k words so far. This is the part I like, when all the fun stuff starts happening and we're foreshadowing for the big stuff at the climax of the story.
My question this week is a bit macabre. Unlike a disease raging through and killing everyone, in our story, society breaks down after the disaster. But many people make it through alive at the start. So what happens to them all? How do they die?
Imagine for a moment, it's 10 days after a big disaster hit and:
• The power has gone off and on
• Water is not working everywhere
• Food delivery trucks have stopped
• Stores are looted
• Occasional tornado or fires have hit.
• Police and/or National Guard are operating in pockets.
So, how would you envision vast numbers of people dying? And what would it look like? Bodies in the street? Big chunks of war zones with bodies? Technically they wouldn't be actually starving to death yet if they have enough drinking water.
I'd love to hear how you think this would play out!
Happy reading this week,
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
Ever drop a heavy can on the top of your foot? Self-defense Tip #9
Hi friends,
Thanks for the Thanksgiving well wishes and stories you sent me. It's nice to take a little time for gratitude, especially when times are tough.
I spent quite a few newsletters discussing the use of weapons for self-defense, so today I thought I'd go back to a self-defense move everyone can use - no special skills or weapons required.
To envision how effective this technique is, think back to a time you dropped a heavy item on the top of your foot.
Instant pain, hopping around, maybe some colorful language, and your ability to walk and run were definitely hindered.
The Stomp: Self-Defense Tip #9
Um . . . so there isn't really a lot to explain here. The title pretty much says it all. :)
• You stomp on an attacker's foot as hard and fast as possible.
• It hurts them a lot.
• They let go.
• You run.
• They can't run after you.
The main point is that you know about the technique and do a little practice, mental or actual, so you'll remember to use your stomp when adrenalize floods you during an unexpected attack.
An attacker will usually concentrate on controlling your arms. They might pin them against your body, or even grab your arms and wrists.
The reason a stomp is so simple and effective is that an attacker can't do much to control your feet during an attack and your stomp can cause a lot more damage to their feet than any can of beans.
Here's a scenario that has you free from your attacker in seconds:
• In a dark, deserted parking garage (not a good place to be), you lean over to unlock your car.
• A hand clamps over your mouth from behind. A strong arm wraps around your waist, jerks you back into the attacker's body and pins both arms to your sides.
• You jerk your heel up into the attacker's shins and then stomp down as fast and hard as possible.
• Shocked by the sudden, unexpected pain, the attacker cries out and lets go of you.
• You sprint toward the exit, looking for other people while yelling out for help.
• He's in too much pain to chase you. Besides, you're drawing a lot of attention to the situation, so he hobbles away as fast as he can.
• You resolve to avoid being alone in deserted places like that again and to keep a better eye on your surroundings.
I hope you enjoy this simple technique and feel free to share it with others who might find it helps with to their ability to defend themselves.
Enjoy your weekend!
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
Congrats to anyone else who made the 50k writing goal for NaNoWriMo this month. As usual, I crammed in the last few words just under the deadline. It's a fun time every year to join so many other people working to create stories to share with the world.
Our third storm book is coming along nicely at around 80k and both Steph and I can't wait to share these books with you early next year. We've also got an amazing cover artist who is making the series come together and feel a lot more real. It's such a great feeling to see the book covers for the stories that started as a jumble of ideas and words in your head.
Thanks for all of your support and happy reading this week,
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg's Website
Thanks for the Thanksgiving well wishes and stories you sent me. It's nice to take a little time for gratitude, especially when times are tough.
I spent quite a few newsletters discussing the use of weapons for self-defense, so today I thought I'd go back to a self-defense move everyone can use - no special skills or weapons required.
To envision how effective this technique is, think back to a time you dropped a heavy item on the top of your foot.
Instant pain, hopping around, maybe some colorful language, and your ability to walk and run were definitely hindered.
The Stomp: Self-Defense Tip #9
Um . . . so there isn't really a lot to explain here. The title pretty much says it all. :)
• You stomp on an attacker's foot as hard and fast as possible.
• It hurts them a lot.
• They let go.
• You run.
• They can't run after you.
The main point is that you know about the technique and do a little practice, mental or actual, so you'll remember to use your stomp when adrenalize floods you during an unexpected attack.
An attacker will usually concentrate on controlling your arms. They might pin them against your body, or even grab your arms and wrists.
The reason a stomp is so simple and effective is that an attacker can't do much to control your feet during an attack and your stomp can cause a lot more damage to their feet than any can of beans.
Here's a scenario that has you free from your attacker in seconds:
• In a dark, deserted parking garage (not a good place to be), you lean over to unlock your car.
• A hand clamps over your mouth from behind. A strong arm wraps around your waist, jerks you back into the attacker's body and pins both arms to your sides.
• You jerk your heel up into the attacker's shins and then stomp down as fast and hard as possible.
• Shocked by the sudden, unexpected pain, the attacker cries out and lets go of you.
• You sprint toward the exit, looking for other people while yelling out for help.
• He's in too much pain to chase you. Besides, you're drawing a lot of attention to the situation, so he hobbles away as fast as he can.
• You resolve to avoid being alone in deserted places like that again and to keep a better eye on your surroundings.
I hope you enjoy this simple technique and feel free to share it with others who might find it helps with to their ability to defend themselves.
Enjoy your weekend!
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
Congrats to anyone else who made the 50k writing goal for NaNoWriMo this month. As usual, I crammed in the last few words just under the deadline. It's a fun time every year to join so many other people working to create stories to share with the world.
Our third storm book is coming along nicely at around 80k and both Steph and I can't wait to share these books with you early next year. We've also got an amazing cover artist who is making the series come together and feel a lot more real. It's such a great feeling to see the book covers for the stories that started as a jumble of ideas and words in your head.
Thanks for all of your support and happy reading this week,
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg's Website
Why is the Charming Man Dangerous? Warning Signs #3
Hi friends,
Quick note: If you haven't actually followed me yet here on Goodread, would you mind clicking the follow button? I'd love to make sure you get notified when my new series comes out!
I'm glad you enjoyed last week's tip on using a stomp against an attacker that grabs you from behind. I got a few great ideas back from readers that I'll be adding to future newsletters. Thanks for all your replies!!
Today, I'm sharing the details of another type of behavior that can warn you about an imminent attack from the amazing book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker, which I recommend all women read at least once. (There is some scary/realistic content, so screen it before giving it to your daughters.)
Mr. de Becker's premise is that an attacker will behave in certain ways to influence a potential victim before the attack. No single one of these seven behaviors predicts that an attack will come, but if you see multiple ones, be warned.
Here's the list of the ones I've discussed so far:
1. Discounting the word "No"
2. Too many details
And for today:
#3 Charm and Niceness
This one is so simple, but can be very dangerous because . . . it can trick you into letting down your guard.
Scenario #1:
A big man in a scruffy tank-top steps out behind you as you're walking to the parking lot where your car is way at the back because of the busy holiday shopping season. He's smoking with a perpetual glare on his face while multiple tattoos snake up both arms and the sides of his neck.
***
Are you a bit worried? On guard? Maybe you turn around and head back into the store to ask a worker to accompany you to your car?
Scenario #2:
A handsome man dressed in a suit steps out of the store behind you carrying a single bag with a few groceries. When you look back, he gives you a charming smile.
"Here," he says as he takes a few quick steps to catch up with you. "Let me help you with some of those."
"No, thanks" you say. "I've got it."
"Are you sure? I really don't mind," he says as he reaches for one of your bags.
"No," you repeat, pulling the bag away. "I'm fine, thanks."
"It's not a big deal," he says, reaching out again with a smile. "I'm just in town for a conference, so I only needed to pick up a few snacks to tide me over before the company meal. So, I don't have much to carry. I'd be happy to help you with these to your car."
***
Well? Worried or not? And did you happen to notice him using the first and second techniques? Discounting your repeated "No" and sharing too many details in an attempt to disarm your worries?
Yep - he could be much more trouble than the first man with his obviously dangerous looks.
Remember, though, this doesn't mean everyone charming and nice is a secret serial killer - lol.
Just that charm can be one of several tools used by an attacker to get you to let down your guard.
Stay safe out there and I hope you're enjoying the holiday season!
All the best!
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
We are finishing up the third book in our storm series this week and trying to pick a side character to write a fun bonus chapter about for the true fans like you guys.
I really love hearing from you and seeing your reviews go up on Amazon or Goodreads. It means a lot when most of my writing is done in isolation sitting here in front of my keyboard.
Hearing from a reader is the highlight of my day!
If you've read Combat Origin, my first in series and would like to leave a few words about it on Amazon, here is the link - just scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on "Leave a Customer Review":
Review Combat Origin on Amazon
Thanks for taking the time!
And Steph and I are looking forward to finally sharing our storm series with you early next year!
Happy reading this week,
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
Quick note: If you haven't actually followed me yet here on Goodread, would you mind clicking the follow button? I'd love to make sure you get notified when my new series comes out!
I'm glad you enjoyed last week's tip on using a stomp against an attacker that grabs you from behind. I got a few great ideas back from readers that I'll be adding to future newsletters. Thanks for all your replies!!
Today, I'm sharing the details of another type of behavior that can warn you about an imminent attack from the amazing book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker, which I recommend all women read at least once. (There is some scary/realistic content, so screen it before giving it to your daughters.)
Mr. de Becker's premise is that an attacker will behave in certain ways to influence a potential victim before the attack. No single one of these seven behaviors predicts that an attack will come, but if you see multiple ones, be warned.
Here's the list of the ones I've discussed so far:
1. Discounting the word "No"
2. Too many details
And for today:
#3 Charm and Niceness
This one is so simple, but can be very dangerous because . . . it can trick you into letting down your guard.
Scenario #1:
A big man in a scruffy tank-top steps out behind you as you're walking to the parking lot where your car is way at the back because of the busy holiday shopping season. He's smoking with a perpetual glare on his face while multiple tattoos snake up both arms and the sides of his neck.
***
Are you a bit worried? On guard? Maybe you turn around and head back into the store to ask a worker to accompany you to your car?
Scenario #2:
A handsome man dressed in a suit steps out of the store behind you carrying a single bag with a few groceries. When you look back, he gives you a charming smile.
"Here," he says as he takes a few quick steps to catch up with you. "Let me help you with some of those."
"No, thanks" you say. "I've got it."
"Are you sure? I really don't mind," he says as he reaches for one of your bags.
"No," you repeat, pulling the bag away. "I'm fine, thanks."
"It's not a big deal," he says, reaching out again with a smile. "I'm just in town for a conference, so I only needed to pick up a few snacks to tide me over before the company meal. So, I don't have much to carry. I'd be happy to help you with these to your car."
***
Well? Worried or not? And did you happen to notice him using the first and second techniques? Discounting your repeated "No" and sharing too many details in an attempt to disarm your worries?
Yep - he could be much more trouble than the first man with his obviously dangerous looks.
Remember, though, this doesn't mean everyone charming and nice is a secret serial killer - lol.
Just that charm can be one of several tools used by an attacker to get you to let down your guard.
Stay safe out there and I hope you're enjoying the holiday season!
All the best!
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
We are finishing up the third book in our storm series this week and trying to pick a side character to write a fun bonus chapter about for the true fans like you guys.
I really love hearing from you and seeing your reviews go up on Amazon or Goodreads. It means a lot when most of my writing is done in isolation sitting here in front of my keyboard.
Hearing from a reader is the highlight of my day!
If you've read Combat Origin, my first in series and would like to leave a few words about it on Amazon, here is the link - just scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on "Leave a Customer Review":
Review Combat Origin on Amazon
Thanks for taking the time!
And Steph and I are looking forward to finally sharing our storm series with you early next year!
Happy reading this week,
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
Use your head to fight back - literally! Self-defense Tip #10
Hi friends,
I hope 2021 is turning out well for you!
With my husband working from home, I got a chuckle when I saw mostly t-shirts in the laundry instead of the usual long-sleeved button up shirts from pre-pandemic. Sometimes I wonder how many of the pandemic-driven changes will persist when we finally beat this thing.
Speaking of beating things . . . time for another simple self-defense tip.
(Thanks to Dennis, one of my readers, for suggesting this a while ago.)
Your head as a weapon!
When you get right down to it, the front and back of your head are really just hard bone under a thin layer of skin.
This makes a great weapon to use during a close attack like a grab from the front or behind.
How, you ask?
Simple.
Hit your attacker with your forehead or the back of your head with a sudden and strong strike.
Aim for the nose, lips, teeth and cheekbones to cause sudden pain and an eye-watering response. Hopefully the painful shock will cause your attacker to loosen their grip, so you can break free and run.
To supercharge your defense even more, you can relax for a brief moment beforehand and pretend to give up and submit. Then wait for your attacker's grab to relax before you strike with as much force as possible.
Really, that's all there is to it. If you practice striking with your head - make sure you have a well-padded surface so you don't hurt yourself. And limit practice to a strike or two so you don't cause your own brain any unintended damage.
I hope you enjoy this technique and feel free to share it with others. Also, if you have any self-defense tips or questions you'd like to see in the newsletter, please send them to me!
Enjoy your weekend!
_____________________
Misty's Writing Update:
Steph is in the middle of moving this week and I'm having the not-so-fun task of investigating what could become another chronic medical condition for me.
Funny how life comes along and tries to disrupt all your best-laid plans.
I hope you're finding ways to overcome any challenges cropping up in your lives.
We're still squeezing a bit of writing in where we can, enjoying our characters who are always dealing with much worse than we are, right?
At least we have running water, warm bellies and a home with our families. Gotta remember the important things!!
All the best to you out there!
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
I hope 2021 is turning out well for you!
With my husband working from home, I got a chuckle when I saw mostly t-shirts in the laundry instead of the usual long-sleeved button up shirts from pre-pandemic. Sometimes I wonder how many of the pandemic-driven changes will persist when we finally beat this thing.
Speaking of beating things . . . time for another simple self-defense tip.
(Thanks to Dennis, one of my readers, for suggesting this a while ago.)
Your head as a weapon!
When you get right down to it, the front and back of your head are really just hard bone under a thin layer of skin.
This makes a great weapon to use during a close attack like a grab from the front or behind.
How, you ask?
Simple.
Hit your attacker with your forehead or the back of your head with a sudden and strong strike.
Aim for the nose, lips, teeth and cheekbones to cause sudden pain and an eye-watering response. Hopefully the painful shock will cause your attacker to loosen their grip, so you can break free and run.
To supercharge your defense even more, you can relax for a brief moment beforehand and pretend to give up and submit. Then wait for your attacker's grab to relax before you strike with as much force as possible.
Really, that's all there is to it. If you practice striking with your head - make sure you have a well-padded surface so you don't hurt yourself. And limit practice to a strike or two so you don't cause your own brain any unintended damage.
I hope you enjoy this technique and feel free to share it with others. Also, if you have any self-defense tips or questions you'd like to see in the newsletter, please send them to me!
Enjoy your weekend!
_____________________
Misty's Writing Update:
Steph is in the middle of moving this week and I'm having the not-so-fun task of investigating what could become another chronic medical condition for me.
Funny how life comes along and tries to disrupt all your best-laid plans.
I hope you're finding ways to overcome any challenges cropping up in your lives.
We're still squeezing a bit of writing in where we can, enjoying our characters who are always dealing with much worse than we are, right?
At least we have running water, warm bellies and a home with our families. Gotta remember the important things!!
All the best to you out there!
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
When a Promise is Dangerous - Warning Signs #6
Hi friends,
Searching for Allies has been having a great first week thanks to all of you! And awesome readers have already posted a handful of encouraging reviews - You're the best!
Check it out:
Searching for Allies: Book 4 in Aftermath
And a quick note: If you want to be notified when my new books come out - head over to Amazon and click the "Follow" button under my pic on my author page:
https://www.amazon.com/author/mistyzaugg
______________________
When a Promise is Dangerous. Warning Signs #6
Here's the sixth tip about behaviors that can warn you an attack is imminent from the informative book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin deBecker.
Remember, no single one of these seven behaviors predicts that an attack will come, but if you see multiple ones, be warned.
Here's the list of the ones I've discussed so far:
1. Discounting the word "No"
2. Too many details
3. Charm and Niceness
4. Loansharking
5. Forced Teaming
And for today:
#6 Unsolicited Promises
A potential attacker will make a promise to do (or not do) something in order to reassure you they aren't dangerous .
"I promise I'm a nice guy."
"I promise I'm not going to hurt you."
"I promise I only need your phone for a minute."
"Can you give me a ride? I promise my house is just around the corner."
Example #1:
A good-looking man knocks at your door, looking sheepish. (Charm and Niceness)
"I'm so sorry to bother you, but I just ran out of gas and my phone is dead. I'm such an idiot. I'm sure you've probably let your phone die, like me. (Forced Teaming).
Would you let me come in and use your phone? I promise it'll only take a minute. (Unsolicited Promise)
Example #2:
A mom rushes flustered to the back of a grocery store with multiple small children and one that has to go to the bathroom NOW.
A personable man gives the mom a sympathetic look. "Oh, wow," he says. "I really don't miss potty training." (Forced Teaming) "Can I help?" (Loan Sharking)
"No, I've got this," she replies, distracted.
"Really," he insists. (Discounting No) "I can watch the others for a minute while you run her into the bathroom really quick. No need to be superwoman." (Typecasting)
She hesitates, glancing toward the bathroom.
"I promise, I'm a really nice guy," he says with a disarming smile. (Unsolicited Promise)
***
These are examples of how a potential attacker will add a promise to give added strength to his reassurance that you don't need to worry.
Now that you know about this warning sign, it should have the opposite effect.
"I promise I won't hurt you."
becomes
"I'm planning to hurt you."
Remember, someone with no ill intentions toward you doesn't need to convince you they are safe and harmless.
***
Stay safe out there! And if you've noticed any of these warning signs in a real situation, I'd love to hear what happened. I enjoy reading your stories!
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
With my sister's family with six kids in town visiting, we've been in the midst of enjoyable bedlam . . . and no writing (other than this newsletter).
It's pretty fun to take a break from the daily writing to reconnect with some family who live so far from us.
How about you? I hope you're able to visit with friends and family again as the covid pandemic finally begins to wind down in many places.
I'm also jotting down ideas for my new litrpg fantasy series, which is part of the writing process I really enjoy. Creating a new world. Complex magic and people. What's not to love?
Happy reading this week!
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
Searching for Allies has been having a great first week thanks to all of you! And awesome readers have already posted a handful of encouraging reviews - You're the best!
Check it out:
Searching for Allies: Book 4 in Aftermath
And a quick note: If you want to be notified when my new books come out - head over to Amazon and click the "Follow" button under my pic on my author page:
https://www.amazon.com/author/mistyzaugg
______________________
When a Promise is Dangerous. Warning Signs #6
Here's the sixth tip about behaviors that can warn you an attack is imminent from the informative book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin deBecker.
Remember, no single one of these seven behaviors predicts that an attack will come, but if you see multiple ones, be warned.
Here's the list of the ones I've discussed so far:
1. Discounting the word "No"
2. Too many details
3. Charm and Niceness
4. Loansharking
5. Forced Teaming
And for today:
#6 Unsolicited Promises
A potential attacker will make a promise to do (or not do) something in order to reassure you they aren't dangerous .
"I promise I'm a nice guy."
"I promise I'm not going to hurt you."
"I promise I only need your phone for a minute."
"Can you give me a ride? I promise my house is just around the corner."
Example #1:
A good-looking man knocks at your door, looking sheepish. (Charm and Niceness)
"I'm so sorry to bother you, but I just ran out of gas and my phone is dead. I'm such an idiot. I'm sure you've probably let your phone die, like me. (Forced Teaming).
Would you let me come in and use your phone? I promise it'll only take a minute. (Unsolicited Promise)
Example #2:
A mom rushes flustered to the back of a grocery store with multiple small children and one that has to go to the bathroom NOW.
A personable man gives the mom a sympathetic look. "Oh, wow," he says. "I really don't miss potty training." (Forced Teaming) "Can I help?" (Loan Sharking)
"No, I've got this," she replies, distracted.
"Really," he insists. (Discounting No) "I can watch the others for a minute while you run her into the bathroom really quick. No need to be superwoman." (Typecasting)
She hesitates, glancing toward the bathroom.
"I promise, I'm a really nice guy," he says with a disarming smile. (Unsolicited Promise)
***
These are examples of how a potential attacker will add a promise to give added strength to his reassurance that you don't need to worry.
Now that you know about this warning sign, it should have the opposite effect.
"I promise I won't hurt you."
becomes
"I'm planning to hurt you."
Remember, someone with no ill intentions toward you doesn't need to convince you they are safe and harmless.
***
Stay safe out there! And if you've noticed any of these warning signs in a real situation, I'd love to hear what happened. I enjoy reading your stories!
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
With my sister's family with six kids in town visiting, we've been in the midst of enjoyable bedlam . . . and no writing (other than this newsletter).
It's pretty fun to take a break from the daily writing to reconnect with some family who live so far from us.
How about you? I hope you're able to visit with friends and family again as the covid pandemic finally begins to wind down in many places.
I'm also jotting down ideas for my new litrpg fantasy series, which is part of the writing process I really enjoy. Creating a new world. Complex magic and people. What's not to love?
Happy reading this week!
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
Why is an insult dangerous? Warning Signs #7 And Deadly Lockdown hit #1!!
Hi friends,
We're so excited that you helped Deadly Lockdown reach a #1 ranking in the Natural Disaster category in Amazon!
And Searching for Resistance, Aftermath #5, has been having a great first week thanks to all of you!
Not to mention, Deadly Escape, Virus #2 will be out in just two weeks!
Your reviews have really helped the books do so well - Thanks!
If you haven't read them yet:
Deadly Lockdown: Book 1 in Escaping the Virus
Searching for Resistance: Book 5 in Aftermath
And a quick note: If you want to be notified when my new books come out - head over to Amazon and click the "Follow" button under my pic on my author page:
https://www.amazon.com/author/mistyzaugg
______________________
When is an Insult Dangerous? Warning Signs #7
Here's the seventh and final tip about behaviors that can warn you an attack is imminent from the informative book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin deBecker.
Remember, no single one of these seven behaviors predicts that an attack will come, but if you see multiple ones, be warned.
Here's the list of the ones I've discussed so far:
1. Discounting the word "No"
2. Too many details
3. Charm and Niceness
4. Loansharking
5. Forced Teaming
6. Unsolicited Promises
And for today:
#7 Typecasting (or manipulative insults)
A potential attacker will insult the victim to try to influence them to go against their better judgment and do what the attacker wants.
"There's such a thing as being too independent, lady."
"What? You're too racist to accept help from a black man?"
"No need to be scared of everyone. I'm just trying to help."
"You don't want me in your car? You don't give rides to poor people?"
Example #1:
A kind-looking man in the parking lot offers to help you load your groceries from the cart into your trunk. (possible Loan Sharking).
You refuse politely.
"Really," he insists. "Let me help." (Discounting No)
You don't know him and refuse again, hoping he'll just go away.
"I guess you're too good to accept help from someone like me," he says in a disappointed tone. "I just wanted to help." (Typecasting)
Feeling suddenly guilty, you apologize and thank him for his offer.
Without realizing how it happened, you find yourself stepping back while he finishes loading your car with a kind smile on his face. (Charm and Niceness)
When he asks for a ride to the nearby gas station, (Loansharking) you find it very difficult to refuse.
***
This is an example of how a potential attacker will use insults and typecasting to make you feel guilty, hoping you'll then do what the attacker wants in order to disprove the insult . . . which generally leads to you and him being alone where there are no witnesses.
Now that you know about this warning sign and can recognize how manipulative it is, it should be much easier to resist.
Respond with calm but firm instructions.
"I don't need your help. Leave me alone!"
You're not obligated to be polite when you feel your safety is threatened.
And remember, a stranger with no ill intentions toward you won't try to manipulate you.
***
Stay safe out there! And if you've noticed any of these warning signs in a real situation, I'd love to hear what happened. I enjoy reading your stories!
All the best,
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
With my mom and dad in town visiting and new books releasing, most of my author work has been squeezing in time to upload manuscripts, finish editing, set up advertising, etc.
The not-so-glamorous part of writing, that I was mostly unaware of when I started this adventure - lol.
What about you? Have you started a new venture, only to find out there's a lot more involved than you think? Or do your plans always go along smoothly with no surprises? :D
Tell me it's not just me!
Happy reading this week!
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
We're so excited that you helped Deadly Lockdown reach a #1 ranking in the Natural Disaster category in Amazon!
And Searching for Resistance, Aftermath #5, has been having a great first week thanks to all of you!
Not to mention, Deadly Escape, Virus #2 will be out in just two weeks!
Your reviews have really helped the books do so well - Thanks!
If you haven't read them yet:
Deadly Lockdown: Book 1 in Escaping the Virus
Searching for Resistance: Book 5 in Aftermath
And a quick note: If you want to be notified when my new books come out - head over to Amazon and click the "Follow" button under my pic on my author page:
https://www.amazon.com/author/mistyzaugg
______________________
When is an Insult Dangerous? Warning Signs #7
Here's the seventh and final tip about behaviors that can warn you an attack is imminent from the informative book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin deBecker.
Remember, no single one of these seven behaviors predicts that an attack will come, but if you see multiple ones, be warned.
Here's the list of the ones I've discussed so far:
1. Discounting the word "No"
2. Too many details
3. Charm and Niceness
4. Loansharking
5. Forced Teaming
6. Unsolicited Promises
And for today:
#7 Typecasting (or manipulative insults)
A potential attacker will insult the victim to try to influence them to go against their better judgment and do what the attacker wants.
"There's such a thing as being too independent, lady."
"What? You're too racist to accept help from a black man?"
"No need to be scared of everyone. I'm just trying to help."
"You don't want me in your car? You don't give rides to poor people?"
Example #1:
A kind-looking man in the parking lot offers to help you load your groceries from the cart into your trunk. (possible Loan Sharking).
You refuse politely.
"Really," he insists. "Let me help." (Discounting No)
You don't know him and refuse again, hoping he'll just go away.
"I guess you're too good to accept help from someone like me," he says in a disappointed tone. "I just wanted to help." (Typecasting)
Feeling suddenly guilty, you apologize and thank him for his offer.
Without realizing how it happened, you find yourself stepping back while he finishes loading your car with a kind smile on his face. (Charm and Niceness)
When he asks for a ride to the nearby gas station, (Loansharking) you find it very difficult to refuse.
***
This is an example of how a potential attacker will use insults and typecasting to make you feel guilty, hoping you'll then do what the attacker wants in order to disprove the insult . . . which generally leads to you and him being alone where there are no witnesses.
Now that you know about this warning sign and can recognize how manipulative it is, it should be much easier to resist.
Respond with calm but firm instructions.
"I don't need your help. Leave me alone!"
You're not obligated to be polite when you feel your safety is threatened.
And remember, a stranger with no ill intentions toward you won't try to manipulate you.
***
Stay safe out there! And if you've noticed any of these warning signs in a real situation, I'd love to hear what happened. I enjoy reading your stories!
All the best,
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
With my mom and dad in town visiting and new books releasing, most of my author work has been squeezing in time to upload manuscripts, finish editing, set up advertising, etc.
The not-so-glamorous part of writing, that I was mostly unaware of when I started this adventure - lol.
What about you? Have you started a new venture, only to find out there's a lot more involved than you think? Or do your plans always go along smoothly with no surprises? :D
Tell me it's not just me!
Happy reading this week!
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
Misty Zaugg's Blog
Stop by for weekly articles about survival, herbs, self-defense and updates on Misty's latest books.
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