Rajat Chakraborty's Blog, page 7

Will You Wake Up Tomorrow

Something feels fundamentally off about the way I’ve been living and working so far.

It is as if I have been living and working for a tomorrow.

It is as if I have been sacrificing the present for a better tomorrow.

This makes my heart cry…

What bothers me the most is that no matter what I have gained or achieved in the past few years, it feels like a lot of time has been wasted.

Time that could have been spent living in the moment. Creating in the moment. Witnessing the moment.

Time that could have been spent being lost in my work…Not caring about a damn thing in the world.

No anticipation or hope of getting anything.

Doing for its own sake.

Understanding cause and effect without any emotions.

Learning the truths without any judgment.

So much of everything has been an empty chase.

The truth, I realized, lies in the moment. THIS moment.

There is no tomorrow. I may or may not wake up tomorrow.

Then why waste today for an unknown tomorrow?

I refuse to live and work this way any longer.

Everything has to be in this moment. NOW.

Whether it produces an effect tomorrow or not.

I am going to sleep with the satisfaction that I did not waste a day.

This realization dawned on me during my 14-day incubation period of COVID19.

I have fully recovered a week ago.

Even though mines was a mild case with no drops in SpO2, there was a point when I actually felt uncertain whether I’ll survive.

I’m not quite sure if it was the temperature or hysteria but I really believed I could die. And so, I started paying attention to the thoughts on my so-called deathbed.

Fortunately, I wrote them down as soon as I felt better:

I wish I had expressed just how much I love and value all of you (mom, dad, brother)I wish I had spent more time meaningfully engaging and knowing all three of you more deeplyI wish I did more work from the heart, had put more stuff out there, created more stuff, just for the sake of it, instead of caring about what I’m getting out of it i.e success, money, status, validation, appreciation, praise, etc. (Purity)I wish I wrote moreI wish I at least wrote about how the education sector can be revamped and be made more beautiful  I wish I could change/do something for the education sector

This experience made me realize that nothing really matters in the end, especially what we get in Life.

The satisfaction of doing something truly from the heart will remain.

Expressing your love for your family and spending time with them meaningfully will remain.

The cliche “do what you love” is actually true.

In the end, we will leave everything behind.

Any residual feelings in the heart which did not find expression will be poison.

On your deathbed, you will not think of what you have gotten, I promise you that.

What will matter is what you have given and shared with the world.

What will matter is whether you have given your heart the expression it has always wanted…

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The post If Today Were the Last Day of Your Life? appeared first on Rajat Chakraborty (Raj).

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The post If today were the last day of your life? appeared first on Rajat Chakraborty (Raj).

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The post The False Game appeared first on Rajat Chakraborty (Raj).

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The post The false game appeared first on Rajat Chakraborty (Raj).

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