Rajat Chakraborty's Blog, page 6

Treating Anxiety, In An Instant

My beautiful mom suffers from anxiety disorders from time to time.

Often, she finds herself unable to find sleep.

Sometimes she’s awake the whole night…

This often manifests into physical health problems such as heart palpitations, chest pain, an upset stomach, and loose motions.

She would avoid discussing her anxiety, thinking that it would “disturb” me and that it is not “worthy” of my time.

Even though she very well knows that if there’s anyone who can instantly treat her anxiety problem, it is me.

And this, even my dad would endorse…

Message from Dad after treating Mom’s anxiety attack 1261 miles away.

I am going to share with you how Anxiety is treated in an instant.

No medications. No therapy sessions. No exercise daily. No meditating.

No deep breathing, or healthy diet, or relaxation techniques.

At this point, I must tell you that it is not any new technique or method that you can pick up and use, rather an understanding of the mind.

The first thing to understand is that there is no subtraction or deletion in the arena of the mind.

Only addition and multiplication.

What enters the mind through the five sense organs stays put.

Therefore you cannot remove or get rid of any thought. In fact, any attempt of doing so will only make those thoughts roar louder.

Just like when you instruct a child not to do something, the child does it, despite your instruction.

A common misconception is that in diverting the mind and engaging in an activity you will be able to get rid of the negative thoughts.

It does not work. The mind is more clever than you think. It knows that you are playing a trick on the mind.

Thus, anxiety develops further.

In order to prevent it from developing, the cause of the anxiety must be first understood.

What has triggered the anxiety?

What is the source from which it arises?

When does it arise?

What are the predominant thoughts?

Why are they arising?

What does one fear?

These are some questions that must be examined to arrive at the root cause of anxiety.

Once the cause is well understood, one may ask –

Is it really true?

How real is it?

What is the realistic possibility of such a thing happening or not happening?

Is there anything I can do about it right now? Tomorrow?

More often than not, the root cause is a false belief.

A false alarm.

It is not based upon the truth or reality.

And upon shedding light on the truth, the anxiety goes away.

In an instant.

I must state that this is not a permanent cure for anxiety, but a treatment.

For as long as there is a “self” to protect, anxiety will be present.

The Biggest Challenge In Education

If you really want to solve a problem, you better know what the problem is. And you better be right.

One of my most significant learnings in the past 5 years is this: Identifying the problem is more important than the solution.

It’s easy to go on a chase with solutions only to find out later that what we’ve identified as the problem is still a problem.

Most people working in the education industry think that the problem is:
1. Information overload
2. Lack of curated/useful/engaging content
3. Lack of discipline among learners
4. Low attention span or retention among learners
5. Social isolation among learners
6. Excessive competition in the market
7. Lack of opportunities for everyone
8. Lack of quality educators
…among many others.

When the real problem, rather an understanding, is that learners are not really interested to learn.

Nobody is intrinsically driven to learn. The learning that happens is not for learnings’ sake but rather for what it can provide. And I doubt whether we should even call that “learning”.

When a child is born, he is intrinsically curious. He asks many questions in order to learn and figure out the world around him.

But eventually, his curiosity dies… and he succumbs to the rat race.

There onwards, everything that he does is to climb the social hierarchy.

Why does this happen?

Part parenting. Part society. Part environment. Part school & college.

When we were born, we were instructed by our parents. Then by our teachers. Then by our professors. Then our boss. Now social media.

As a result, how to take instructions and notes is ingrained far better in us than how to learn and what to learn.

Most parents are not interested in their child’s learning either.

In fact, they have never questioned what learning really means. So, they rely on the school and teachers to tell them how far ahead is their child compared to others.

Education has mostly reduced to signalling and status and a place to mingle.

Notice whenever someone completes a course, they immediately post it on LinkedIn. As if someone is waiting to give them an award.

Notice the questions which people ask:

Which school or college did you go to?

What was the RoI from the course?

What certifications do you have?

Did you study from India or Abroad?

What should I study to crack FAANG interview?

Which book should I study to score 95?

What discipline should I pursue to get a job?

Do you guarantee placement?

How much salary will I get if I learn this?

and so on and so forth.

Since there is a demand for such questions, the supply fulfilling these demands is also plenty.

But where does it really take an individual?

Towards dependency. Towards mediocrity. Towards comfort zone.

Towards fear. Towards anxiety. Towards validation and praise.

That is what the majority seeks. And it is fine.

But that is not real education. It is nowhere close to learning.

True learning can only happen when it is pursued for its own sake.

Not for any ulterior motives.

It cannot sustain in an environment of pressure, fear, competition.

It is its own reward. Its own joy.

The learner must be inspired to see learning this way.

He will be inspired in an environment of inspiration and exposure.

Where he is understood and not belittled.

Where the educator himself has become the subject and considers not himself an educator. (Like him, and him)

In such an environment, the learner will be drawn to learn himself.

His mind will be active. Instructions won’t be required.

And, he will learn on his own.

Skin In The Game – Applied To Business

Having failed five (5) business partnerships in the last 5 years, there are some things that I’ve learned and understood really well.

About business partners,

and, about the team — the people who make the businesses work. (I consider & treat team members as partners too since business is all about people.)

First, let us explore why and how the need for business partner(s) arises.

While a business may be started for various reasons, one of the core reasons for any business to exist is to make profits and create wealth. (If that is not so, the business may as well become a charity.)

So, how exactly does a business generate value?

Simple! By creating something that people are willing to pay for (either with their time or money).

However, just creating is not enough. It must also be distributed effectively. The feedback from the market is then used to create more value for the customers, and thus, the business.

[Loop]: Create → Distribute → Improve

It is hard for a business person to focus on both creation and distribution efficiently while maintaining and ensuring the survival of the business. This is where the need for business partner(s), team, arises.

Since it’s a free market and many others can create the same things, businesses often try to differentiate themselves and build a competitive advantage over others.

This competitive advantage comes in various forms — network effects, economies of scale, patented technology, branding, etc.

Talent is also one such competitive advantage. Top talent, or high performers, can create far more value for the business than average or mediocre talent.

The catch is: the smartest people want to work with other smart people, and will never work for (or with) stupid people.

This is why business leadership and management have to be top-notch. Otherwise, they won’t be able to attract other smart people.

Let us assume that a business is started by someone very smart, with a grand vision to challenge the status quo in a particular industry/domain.

He/She quickly realizes that it is a long, lonely journey, and burning out isn’t an option. He also realizes that he does not possess all the necessary skills, talents, and abilities to succeed by himself.

Naturally, he would start looking for potential business partner(s)……someone who could complement his skill-sets.

Now, the #1 act that could take his business down the drain would be to partner with someone who is not aligned with — his vision,

his values,

the way he wants to run the business,

by giving a position/title/equity before testing the partnership,

and most importantly — by partnering with someone who has no skin in the game. (Thanks, N.Taleb!)

Usually, this is how it works —

You want to start something. You’ve got an idea that you think is game-changing.

So you go and discuss it with your best, smartest buddies.

They say they are all-in.

Thus, you’re all excited and start working together to make it big.  

The only difference:

You are all-in, working on the idea, and they are yet to quit their jobs.

They say they will quit their jobs once the idea has some traction.

Once you have some traction, they say they will quit their jobs once you get funded.

What is happening here?

The truth is that you started with an idea, a vision in mind, and not them. Even if you see that vision unfolding in vivid details, it is still your idea and vision.

Hence, they do not see what you see.

What do they see?

A monthly paycheck. Their current obligations. Their routines and chores. Their stable work. Their love life. Their lifestyle. Their current status in society.

And…

An opportunity that may or may not work.

If you believe that they are a part of your “team”, you are gravely mistaken.

They are simply opportunists.

No matter how much they contribute or continue to work with you on the side, it will make no difference to them whether your idea is working or not

Unless

They quit their jobs

And,

Have skin in the game.

Nassim Taleb‘s Skin in the Game is not only one of the most important business concepts, it IS the way our very mind works!

When a business partner, or a team member, is in a position of upside, and no downside, the mind becomes complacent and lazy.

Such a mind has no incentive to act because it knows that however it acts, it will only gain.

And thus, such partnerships never work because humans are ultimately a slave of their own minds.

The person who has conquered his mind is probably sitting inside one of the caves in the Himalayas.

A person working at a full-time job with no P&L responsibility, has no skin in the game, simply because he will, without fail, get paid a comfortable monthly salary at the end of each month. No Qs asked.

Without skin in the game, there is no game at all.

If someone wishes to partner with you, without significant skin in the game, they are simply an “opportunist” and never, serious ‘partnership’ candidate.

Thus, no matter what they say, never believe opportunists to be partners — they are not.

The world is filled with opportunists, my friend. Most people want to fulfill their dreams and desires without having to lift a finger. Only actions are real. People who can die for their dreams and desires are real.

All else is cheap talk.

On Marriages & Love

Of late I’ve been thinking about marriages…and love…and romantic relationships.

Seeing my parents lead a domestic life for 29+ years, I’m questioning whether I really want to be leading such a life or not…

Let us explore this topic in detail, shall we?

All of us are born with X no. of days in our hands.

Fear of loneliness drives our search for a mate.

We want to feel loved…to be cared for…

We want to share our burden of Life with someone…

In hopes of lessening our burden and possibly making our Life more beautiful and joyful.

Little do we know ourselves, but decide to spend a lifetime with someone as clueless about themselves as we are.

This is the premise of a romantic relationship between Person A and Person B as described in the image below.

Through the intersection i.e. marriage, we seek to fill the gaps and holes in ourselves through the other person.

That is, there lies an idea that our life is incomplete by itself, but there is someone out there who will make it complete. That is why they refer to spouses as “better half”.

Then we have the desire to procreate — to become a biological ‘father’ and ‘mother’, which is essentially the highest achievement in such romantic relationships.

And even that, leads to the problem of an empty nest once the child grows up. That is, while parents initially surrender themselves to their children, making the child the center of their lives. When the child grows up and starts leading a Life of their own, the parents no longer know what to do with their own lives…

Upon examination, we find that such relationships lead to a domestic life filled with chores, duties, responsibilities, sacrifices, compromises, and mere ‘maintenance’ activities to survive, pay the bills, put food on the table, raise children, achieve material comfort, and status in society.

To be honest, this kind of Life does not inspire me at all.

In fact, it scares me…

It scares me because such a life can only lead to suffering after suffering, squeezing the ‘life’ out of a human being,

And turning them into zombies…the living dead.

This is not living, it is merely existing.

And I don’t believe we were put on Earth to merely exist…or to suffer.

I believe we were put on Earth to fulfill our human potential, and to experience “Life” as it is — every moment.

Imagine how life would be if married couples lived conflict-free?

If you had no pressure to ‘change’ or ‘adjust’ or ‘sacrifice’ yourself for the other…and even your kids for that matter.

If you could, in the truest sense become each other’s ‘strength’ instead of ‘responsibility’ (read burden),

How would such a life be?

How would such a marriage work?

To start with, every human being is wired in a certain way.

The image below describes the wiring — I’ll explain what each one means and why it’s important for an individual to examine them.

99.99% of us are a slave to our minds. And how does the mind work? It regurgitates and becomes that which we have been exposed to, and continue exposing ourselves to.

Growing up, all of us have been exposed to a variety of different environments, cultures, people, experiences, places, things, media, etc. Then there are certain things in this exposure that we feel strongly about — this is what is solidified and must be examined.

For the human becomes largely that which he/she has been exposed to and continues paying attention to.

Then comes the notion of how one wants to spend their life and what they are truly seeking, aspiring for. Let’s say you want to spend your life backpacking and traveling around the world, while your partner prefers to stay in one place, nearby parents.

Then one of you will have to ‘compromise’, will you not? And in compromise, how can you be yourself?

All of us have certain non-negotiables i.e. things that we are not willing to accept or compromise on. This must be discussed between the two beforehand, as they are a make or break for an individual.

Then comes ethics and values. What do you value? What does your partner value? What are some of those things or guiding principles that matter the most to you? Do you have a moral code of conduct? Don’t go by mere words…they mean nothing! Look for actions.

And finally, what drives you in Life the most? Who/What is your master? What do you surrender yourself to? This is the center of your life and it is the core that defines you as a person. It could be family, technology, Jesus, Shiva, an ideology, a principle, anything.

If you and your partner are driven by the same things, then how beautiful would life be? You would no longer have to ‘compromise’ or ‘adjust’ or ‘sacrifice’ because now you want the same things out of Life.

I think the source of the problem is that we don’t know what we want or don’t want, which is why we get pushed around in different directions by society.

And we don’t know it because we probably don’t value our lives highly enough. Floating around is somehow acceptable to us…

And if you really do value your life but your partner doesn’t, would you really want to spend a lifetime with someone who doesn’t even value their own life? Wouldn’t such a life be a burden on you?

Look at the image below. If both Person A and Person B had figured these out for themselves, and both wanted to go in the same direction, how easier it would be? To lead a conflict-free life…

It is only because we are constantly trying to change each other, make them adjust, sacrifice, compromise, [insert all the other big words that you can think of…] and play fictitious roles invented by the society, that conflicts arise. If you lovingly and willingly do what you do, can there be any conflict?

Now, in all that we have discussed so far, where is love?

Is ‘love’ a prerequisite in marriage?

To be honest, attachment is what exists in the name of love.

When they say “I love you”, essentially what they are saying is:

“You fulfill the checklist that I had in my mind of a partner”

“You make me feel good”

“I’m attracted towards you i.e. I want/desire you”

Can you see the pattern? It’s all me me me me me me …

And because it is all about you, there are needs and expectations,
which when not fulfilled lead to conflicts.

So tell me, this using of each other to fulfill each other’s needs and expectations, is this Love?

I don’t think so…

Frankly, I have no words to explain what love is, but I can tell you this — it is not about you. It is only in those brief moments when I have been completely free of my mind, was I able to experience what love really is…

If Today Were The Last Day Of Your Life

If today were the last day of my life, would I be doing the same things?

In the same way?

At the same speed?

This is a question that has pierced my heart.

I have always had a thing for intensity… passion… being ALL IN.

My heart yearns to live life intensely, to burn with passion.

You know, the kind of intensity you get to see in war movies…

Where soldiers are intensely fighting, passionate to protect their borders,

fully focused and engaged in their mission,

fearless in their ways, and courageous in their strides,

living each day as it comes, not knowing whether they’ll be alive tomorrow.

That’s the kind of life I want for myself!

I know that I’m not there yet. Not even close…

perhaps because I think that I have time,

My mind believes that there will always be a tomorrow…

But we know that it is not true!

The funny part is we don’t even know which day would be the last one…

Maybe today?

Maybe tomorrow?

How To Find Out Someone’s True Character

Knowing a person can be such a difficult task.

Especially because people behave differently in different situations, at different points in time, and have variable psychological and physiological states.

Spouses take a lifetime to figure each other out and still fall short…

Is truly knowing a person even possible? Or is that even a thing?

Hmmm, I don’t think so…

If we don’t know who we are, how can we know who someone else is?

The problem, though, is that we think we know who we are…

But do you truly know who you are, beneath the “personhood” you carry around?

We are strangers dealing with other strangers in a world of wonder.

In such a strange wonderland, how do you deal with others?

How do you know whom to trust?

Whom to work with? Whom to hire? Whom to marry?

How do you assess someone’s character and integrity?

Or would you rather skip all the thinking and rely on the famous “waiter test” to judge a person?

I have found that it’s much easier to know a person’s true nature in a game of football.

In the state of play…

When he rests assured that he is not being watched,

or being the “subject” of a character/integrity test.

What the person does, how he behaves and acts in a competitive-cum-cooperative game tells a lot.

Does he pass?

Does he lose the ball and then blame others?

Does he say “sorry” to the guy who passed the ball to him, for missing a shot?

Does he play in the position he fits best?

Does he alert his teammates to “mark” or “cover” or shout “Man on!”?

Does he call for a “foul” when it was not a foul?

Does he give up when his team is losing?

Does he play his best at all times throughout the game?

Does he play with passion and enthusiasm or like a dead man?

Does he focus on the “game” or is he focused on scoring?

Does he shout and yell at the opponent team members out of anger?

Does he “support” his own team members?

Does he make space for his teammates to succeed on the pitch?

Does he celebrate when his own teammate scores?

Does he pass to his teammate in the penalty arc or is he the guy who frequently takes the shot and yet misses?

Does he appreciate his teammates whenever they do well?

And the list goes on…

A person’s true nature is revealed when they are not being watched.

There is so much to know and learn about yourself and others,

In a game of football…or any other team sports for that matter.

A Story Of Attachment…With A Car

My Dad recently bought a new car.

I did not know how to drive a car, so he hired a driving instructor to teach me.

By the end of 12 days, I learnt how to drive.

Every time we went out, I secretly hoped to drive.

The excuse I’d give to my parents: “Look, I recently learned how to drive and I need to practice.”

The truth is, it felt good to drive a brand-new car. So, I’d grab every opportunity I could.

One fine day, while coming back home from a distant place, I got the chance to drive, again.

I drove carefully, for the entire family was in the same car. Despite so, another car (old) tried to abruptly get in front of me by way of the space that I had left during bumper-to-bumper traffic.

This led to some scratches on one of the sides of the car. When I saw those, it broke my heart.

My Dad still said, “you drove well”. (It’s a big deal to get a compliment from him)

I kept thinking about what went wrong and what I could have done to prevent this.

My Dad could not see me upset, so he took me to a car garage and we got a rubber compound to remove the scratch.

It worked! No more scratch. Now, I became more careful.

Another day we were going to the market. My Dad asked me, “Do you want to drive?”

Ya sure, I responded happily.

While driving, I got several instructions from my Dad.

“Keep it slow, we need to find a space for parking”

“Keep it to the left”

“Let’s Park here”

“Slow down…where are you going?”

My mind did not register any of them. I was busy enjoying the drive.

“Dad, stop distracting me”, I said.

He became angry and wanted to get down from the car.

Mom: Why are you angry, let him drive his way?

Dad: I can’t believe you are telling me. See where he is going! Can’t you see how crowded this place is? Where is he going to park now?

Relax, you guys can get down here. I’ll figure out where to park, I said.

Of course, I did not feel good about the whole thing. So much brunt for a little drag?

I ignored my feeling, thinking It’s OK, happens!

However, this happened again…in a different form.

We were invited to someone’s house for lunch…25km away. I was delighted that I’d get a chance to drive again, hopefully.

Dad wants to come back home before it’s dark so maybe he’ll drive himself while coming back and give me a chance to drive while going there, I thought to myself.

“You don’t know the route, so let me drive,” he said.

I was disheartened, yet again.

While coming back from there though, he asked me “Do you want to drive?”

“I don’t mind”, I said.

He gave me the keys, and, I start driving. He sits beside me to “instruct” me, again. (Though he would say that he sat beside me to guide me through the route)

“Be careful. It’s dark, drive slowly. We do not need to rush”

“Keep left”

I shift to the middle lane from the right.

750m ahead… “What are you doing? You missed the left turn!”

You never said left “turn”? You said “left”.

“Do whatever you want!”

I keep driving straight following google Maps.

750m ahead… “See how he is driving…not even in a proper lane”

Yeah, I have seen you drive too. You also drive in the same way. I reacted, agitated.

Furious, he asked me to stop the car on the side.

He got down…

I thought he’ll say “you guys go, I’ll take an uber”.

But instead, he said, “you get down, I’ll drive”.

I let him drive the rest of the way but from inside I’m in emotional turmoil.

I came back home and closed my door with earphones on.

Did not speak to anyone.

Did not eat that night.

I was wholly focused on just this burning question:

“Why did I feel that way?”

“Why did I react that way while driving?”

I slept thinking on those questions.

The next day morning when I woke up, I found all the answers. I knew exactly why.

I felt that way because I “hoped” to drive.

I reacted that way because I was driving with a self-image “Rajat (Raj) drives well” in mind.

The next time when we went out 25km away, I had no hope or need to drive.

Whether I drove or not made no difference to me.

I did not carry any self-image with me either.

My Dad drove while going there. While returning, he asked me again “Do you want to drive?” (His friend standing beside him)

No! Dad, I think you should drive today…I said.

It was a perfect journey.

And, many perfect journeys followed thereafter…

What Is Marketing?

Why is Apple the most valuable company in the world?

Is it because their return on advertising spend (ROAS) is much greater than all others?

Yet, I haven’t come across a single Ad trying to “sell me” any of their products.

Do you think it is because their products have better features?

I haven’t come across any Apple product owner talking about its features.

What do they talk about?

“Having” the latest iPhone or MacBook Pro or Watch, as if owning it has always been their aspiration.

If you don’t find them talk about it directly, watch them show you – how cool it is, to own one.

To be able to sell, without “trying” to sell – this is true Marketing.

There are 231,497 Apple employees on LinkedIn.

Out of these, 24,198 belong to Sales and another 7,388 to Marketing.

If I add them up – only 13.64% of their total workforce have sales and marketing responsibility.

Yet, they are able to sell the most in the world.

Without having to resort to aggressive “promotion” or “advertising” or “selling”.

Marketing is not selling or trying to sell.  

It is the act of creating something so spectacular – that it sells by itself.

It is the act of inspiring people to such an extent – that they go and talk about it everywhere.  

It is the act of captivating human hearts in such a way – that they feel a direct communion with it.

I receive many emails from people who want me to sell their product using Ads.

They equate Advertising with Marketing.

They think to market is to promote.

That’s pretty much the condition of the fish market – people screaming on top of their voices to get your attention.

Doing whatever it takes to convince you to buy their fish, while 10 others selling the same fish.  

In reality, human beings run away from Ads.

They run away from “promotion” of any kind intended to “sell”.

The truth is if you have to rely on “Ads” and “salespeople” to sell, you most definitely have an inferior product/service.

Such things do not have the ability to inspire people and captivate their hearts.

Marketers who truly understand human beings must be involved in the process of creation – so that they can help create that which captivates human hearts and sells by itself…without needing to “convince” anyone.  

Will You Wake Up Tomorrow?

Something feels fundamentally off about the way I’ve been living and working so far.

It is as if I have been living and working for a tomorrow.

It is as if I have been sacrificing the present for a better tomorrow.

This makes my heart cry…

What bothers me the most is that no matter what I have gained or achieved in the past few years, it feels like a lot of time has been wasted.

Time that could have been spent living in the moment. Creating in the moment. Witnessing the moment.

Time that could have been spent being lost in my work…Not caring about a damn thing in the world.

No anticipation or hope of getting anything.

Doing for its own sake.

Understanding cause and effect without any emotions.

Learning the truths without any judgment.

So much of everything has been an empty chase.

The truth, I realized, lies in the moment. THIS moment.

There is no tomorrow. I may or may not wake up tomorrow.

Then why waste today for an unknown tomorrow?

I refuse to live and work this way any longer.

Everything has to be in this moment. NOW.

Whether it produces an effect tomorrow or not.

I am going to sleep with the satisfaction that I did not waste a day.

This realization dawned on me during my 14-day incubation period of COVID19.

I have fully recovered a week ago.

Even though mines was a mild case with no drops in SpO2, there was a point when I actually felt uncertain whether I’ll survive.

I’m not quite sure if it was the temperature or hysteria but I really believed I could die. And so, I started paying attention to the thoughts on my so-called deathbed.

Fortunately, I wrote them down as soon as I felt better:

I wish I had expressed just how much I love and value all of you (mom, dad, brother)I wish I had spent more time meaningfully engaging and knowing all three of you more deeplyI wish I did more work from the heart, had put more stuff out there, created more stuff, just for the sake of it, instead of caring about what I’m getting out of it i.e success, money, status, validation, appreciation, praise, etc. (Purity)I wish I wrote moreI wish I at least wrote about how the education sector can be revamped and be made more beautiful  I wish I could change/do something for the education sector

This experience made me realize that nothing really matters in the end, especially what we get in Life.

The satisfaction of doing something truly from the heart will remain.

Expressing your love for your family and spending time with them meaningfully will remain.

The cliche “do what you love” is actually true.

In the end, we will leave everything behind.

Any residual feelings in the heart which did not find expression will be poison.

On your deathbed, you will not think of what you have gotten, I promise you that.

What will matter is what you have given and shared with the world.

What will matter is whether you have given your heart the expression it has always wanted…

Why am I pursuing Education?

I stepped into the field of Education serendipitously. However, looking back, I’d say the Universe conspired to it.

When I started, I felt like I was really making a difference. But, by the end of my role at Acadview (now acquired by Upgrad), it was pretty clear to me that people weren’t really motivated to learn. 

And that really put me off. Because I believed in learning and expected others to be the same way.

But boy, was I so wrong. I couldn’t be further away from the truth.

Then I thought, well maybe I should work with children —because you know, they’re still innocent and uncorrupted.

So I joined Parentune to understand the psychology of parents.

And what I learned, disappointed me yet again.

At this point, I realized that trying to change the world is a futile effort.

It is much more effective to focus on oneself.

And in seeing you, if people are inspired, and transformed,

then that is good enough.

I have always been a curious child, as my mother describes.

I wanted to become a scientist.

My zeal for science probably stemmed from the practical Education I had in England.

But as Life would have it, I became an Engineer.

Mostly because everyone around me was becoming one.

Truth be told, I don’t know anything about Engineering.

In fact, I spent the 4 years of Engineering exploring myself — discovering my strengths and weaknesses.

I still find myself to be more complicated than any girl I’ve ever met.

To the extent that sometimes I just wish why I couldn’t be simpler.

Wanting simple things, y’know, like a job, a family, house, kids…

For whatever reason, those things do not interest me.

Especially, a job.

It makes me cringe!

So, I became an entrepreneur.

But something was still missing.

Something felt off,

And for a long time, I couldn’t figure out what it was.

Then I realized, that, even though I had become an entrepreneur,

I was still enslaved by my clients. I was still living for a tomorrow.

SATISFACTION was what I was really seeking.

Having found it nowhere, I began to look at the things that I’ve done in the past.

The things that gave me a sense of true and lasting satisfaction were the things that I had done for its’ own sake, rather than as a means to get something or become someone.

The COVID19 14-day incubation period made me realize that the field of Education is close to my heart.

My actions in the last 6 years reflect that I have always been driven by learning and scope of positive transformation.

It is only now that I have realized that I cannot transform anyone but myself.

So, I’ll continue learning and sharing what I learn. Whether you transform or not, is not my business.