Kyle A. Massa's Blog, page 3

The 7 Types of Karaoke Singers

Karaoke is an art form I’m passionate about. Perhaps a bit too passionate. After all, I’ve already written an essay (published) and a short story (unpublished) on this very subject. It’s the next best thing to actually singing karaoke, which I haven’t done in quite some time. Nonetheless, if I can’t do it, I’ll write […]

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The World Without Teeth

Smile! Or don’t. Because in this hypothetical alternate universe, nobody has teeth. That’s the nightmarish scenario we are examining today in our ongoing “World Without” series. But fear not, dear reader. I think there would be upsides to this world, too. So, without further ado, let’s get into it. In a world without teeth… …Vampires […]

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New Year, New Mailbag

As has become an annual tradition, I recently ran a survey with my newsletter subscribers. Were their questions awesome? Absolutely—and you can have that answer for free. …Oh yeah, and the rest are free, too. Here they are! 1. What is the genre of your writing? It’s funny you should ask that, because I myself […]

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Thoughts on Crocs

As part of my ongoing attempt to make a complete ass of myself, let me tell you about my new Crocs. I got them for Christmas. (Shout out to my mother-in-law, Karen.) They’re the Moon Jelly variety, which is a weird way of saying they’re periwinkle. This color is a bit more feminine than it […]

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The World Without Albany, NY

Or as we call it around here, Smallbany. Yes, I reside in our titular city. I have most of my life. We don’t have the glamor of Los Angeles, the thrill of New Orleans, or the sleaze of Philadelphia, but we’ve got…umm, other stuff. In this article, we’ll explore this great city’s absence further. So, […]

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911, What’s Your Emergency?

Here in the United States, if you’ve got an emergency, you’re probably calling one of two numbers: 911, or your mother. In this blog post, we’ll discuss the former. “911, what’s your emergency?” This is how 911 operators always answer the phone, and I think it’s a good policy. Otherwise, you might have situations like […]

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The World Without Halloween

This article might be controversial. After all, Halloween is a beloved holiday. In fact, in terms of belovedness, it’s right up there with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and International Juggling Day. Maybe not that last one. But hey, this article series is often about appreciating subjects through their hypothetical absence. So let’s start appreciating. In a world […]

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For the Love of the Gut

Gut. It’s a word that’s existed for centuries, though nowadays it’s become more popular than ever (or maybe I’m just noticing it more). My question is this: Why? It’s not like “gut” is a descriptive term. It’s unpleasant to hear—and to say, for that matter. Try saying it. “Gut.” It’s so guttural. Furthermore, this word always […]

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One-Sentence Story Notes for “Mild Buffoonery”

My dog Osi (pictured above) recently read my new book, Mild Buffoonery. Her review: “Woof.” Hopefully that’s positive. I don’t speak dogish. All I can tell you for certain is that Mild Buffoonery is a collection of humorous essays on topics ranging from parenting to music to sports to reminiscence about a cruise I took […]

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A New Book, and This Time, It’s Personal (Essays)

Greetings reader, I’m happy to report that Mild Buffoonery is available right now in ebook, paperback, and hardcover. There’s no film adaptation, but we’re working on the script. I’m pleased to report that early readers have commended its “good humor,” “fun and lighthearted writing style,” and its “essential contributions to humankind rivaled only by the wheel.” (That last one was completely fabricated.) It even peaked at number 25 […]

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