Kyle A. Massa's Blog, page 2

Several Hypothetical Low-Stress Fallback Jobs I Think I Might Be Halfway Decent At

I’m secure in my current employment, but you never know when you might get fired. With that thought in mind, here are some jobs I’m halfway interested in. 1. Seat-Filler Apparently, award show broadcasts look bad if even a single seat is vacant. That’s where us seat-fillers swoop in. See an empty seat? Fill it. […]

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Try My Stew

Not the kind you eat. The kind you read. Hi reader. Today I’d like to share my newest book with you. It’s called Hecatontagonal Stew, and it’s out now in ebook, paperback, and soon, hardcover. Let me tell you a bit more about it. The Gimmick Hecatontagonal Stew is a short story collection. However, it’s […]

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A Little Better Than Bad: My 2024 New York Giants Season Preview

I tried watching Hard Knocks this year. I really did. But it became too depressing. Welcome to my annual preview of the upcoming New York Giants football season, where I either grossly over- or underestimate just how competent they’ll be. And so, without further ado… So Long, Saquon The Giants’ most significant offseason change is […]

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The World Without Vampires

You may love them, you may hate them, but either way, I’m sure you know all about vampires. In today’s edition of “The World Without,” we’ll examine life in their absence. So, in a world without vampires… …There Would Be Fewer Great Basketball Players But why is that, Kyle? you must be wondering. What do basketball players […]

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!

I end too many sentences with exclamation marks. I’m aware of this personal flaw, yet I can’t seem to stop myself from doing it. I know it’s overdone. I know it’s inaccurate. I know Strunk and White would table-top me if they could. And yet, I do it anyway. Why? Because I don’t want people […]

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The World Without Kyles

Kyle. It’s a name you might’ve heard before. It also happens to be my name. My parents gave it to me, as it were, and there are many more of us out there. Today, we’re going to celebrate ourselves. How? By imagining the sad, bleak state of affairs without us. And so, in a world […]

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Every King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard Album, Ranked

I had to do it eventually. A Foreward To prepare for this meaningless exercise, I listened to a lot of Gizzard. That’s pretty much the only prerequisite. 25. Murder of the Universe All you need to know about this album is that it’s got a track called “Vomit Coffin.” It’s meant to gross you out, […]

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Back to the Past (And Future. And Present.)

I’ve got a new book. Sort of. In my ongoing effort to resell stuff I’ve already written, I’m releasing a paperback version of my triptych short story collection, Past, Present, Future. It’s not just a triptych anymore, either. It’s a…decarology? Not sure if that’s the right word, but I’m using it anyway. This is a […]

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My Upcoming Book Schedule

As you may or may not be aware, I recently released a (sort of) new book called Past, Present, Future. I’ve also got another, Remembering the End, arriving later this year. But those aren’t the only books coming to a shelf near you. Today’s the perfect day to reveal all the books I’m working on. Let […]

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So Long, Time

This week’s post is a poem—or rather, a gripe. Maybe a poetic gripe. Whatever it is, it goes like this: Crankiness. Bleariness. Sadness. Despair. But Daylight Savings Time doesn’t care. That is all. Get a nap if you can. Kyle A. Massa is a comedy author of some sort living somewhere in upstate New York […]

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