Syl Sabastian's Blog, page 32
November 23, 2018
Unhooking from "Should"
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/nobelia/episodes/Unhooking-from-Should-e2kjju
Constant Perspective
"Disconnecting from default unthinking behaviour, responses, and reactions is a crux matter."
Such unhooking can be simple, relatively easy to apply, and has profound consequences, many instantly transformative, if...
Typically, when embarking on Change, I've found we become diverted because of lack of focus, leading to a lack of momentum and persistence. We perceive the entirety of the issue, in all its complexity and set about dealing with it. But, the mind is not particularly geared to holding multiplicity in consciousness for longer than brief focused exercises. The moment we cease that immersion, much is lost. Unless, unless we make the effort to save our labours. What's needed is a mental filename.
Such a filename is "Should."
If we deliberately make "Should' a mini-obsession, convert it into a perpetual part of our focus and perception we start a massive impactful habit. If we set our internal computer to always have "should" as an ongoing filter and search, scrutinising ALL our behaviour, interaction, perception and perspectives, as well as everything we encounter, for evidence of "Should," soon we see its insidious influence everywhere.
"The more we recognise external "Should," the more we recognise its infestation within."
New Awareness
This focus on the underlying reasons for our actions makes us acutely Aware of exactly how un-free we really are. Here we had prided ourselves on our independence, but really, we come to realise, we still do much because of "should." When we examine those actions, activities, interactions, and particularly relationships, we quickly see the root cause of our misery. We don't want to do so much we engage in, not in the least, yet we do. Why? Because of that horror, "should!"
From this one singular persistent focus of noticing "should," much results. To unhook from "should," to kiss it goodbye, what's needed? To truly claim our deeply desired Independence-of-Being, what's required of us? We have to acquire much. Courage for a start. Next comes Trust. Trust in our OWN capability to determine Sensibility.
Whenever we abrogate our freedom-of-choice to "should," we are in essence saying; "I'm incapable of determining what's good for me, by myself." How does this make any sense at all? If this were really true, well, we are lost. Yes, of course we learn from everything around us, but, in the end, we, and we alone, the individual, is the Final-Arbiter-of-Truth. If it's not us, we're not living our own life, but someone else's.
As we persist in weeding out "Should," we find other benefits. We realise how we think, how we perceive, how we relate and connect. Once we Understand we've been defaulting to someone else's idea and thoughts and beliefs, and after the horror abates, joy sets in, as now we realise we can start living our OWN lives, think our own thoughts, make our own choices and decisions. A heady power, and a delicious freedom.
New Choices, New Questions
Most excitingly, we develop the habit of simply asking a sincere, earnest sober, "Why?" to what we took for granted. We ask "Why?" to what we had done before without any thought at all. And now, we find reasons to our why, because it's asked with an expectation of reply, asked with an insistence on answer, which leads us to see for the most part, there IS no good reason why we do so much which brings us nothing but misery, stress, or wastes our time. There's really no good justification for why we insist on doing so much of what we do simply because of that corrupter of independence: "Should."
What a liberation to realise there's absolutely no need whatsoever to do what all our lives we thought we needed to. It's somewhat humbling to recognise how much we've done, how much we've lived, how much time we've wasted, all because of an unquestioning default to "Should." But the joy of our newfound freedom, exquisite!!!
Living should-less is profound. Suddenly it is US who are doing the living. All of our Self and everything we are, want to be, intend to be, is suddenly all in play. Now US, ourselves, our own individuality, is our own deliberate choice! When we unhook from "should" it's like a fog is lifted from the mind. Suddenly WE start actually thinking, deciding, choosing, and it's glorious!
Maintaining a constant awareness of "should" is a most worthwhile practice and habit to cultivate, as the effects of such a vigilance are incalculably significant. Unhooking leads to the necessity to self-decide, which leads to all the magic of choice, leading us to the delights of Replacement. All starting with a perpetually leveraged focused attention on "should."
A handy reminder:
"We shouldn't should on ourselves."
Nobelia.org
#Should #Shouldn't #PersonalFreedom #IndependenceOfBeing #ThinkingForOurselves #FreeChoice #UnhookingFromShould #UnConditioning #ReplacementPhilosophy #SelfChange #SelfImprovement
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Constant Perspective
"Disconnecting from default unthinking behaviour, responses, and reactions is a crux matter."
Such unhooking can be simple, relatively easy to apply, and has profound consequences, many instantly transformative, if...
Typically, when embarking on Change, I've found we become diverted because of lack of focus, leading to a lack of momentum and persistence. We perceive the entirety of the issue, in all its complexity and set about dealing with it. But, the mind is not particularly geared to holding multiplicity in consciousness for longer than brief focused exercises. The moment we cease that immersion, much is lost. Unless, unless we make the effort to save our labours. What's needed is a mental filename.
Such a filename is "Should."
If we deliberately make "Should' a mini-obsession, convert it into a perpetual part of our focus and perception we start a massive impactful habit. If we set our internal computer to always have "should" as an ongoing filter and search, scrutinising ALL our behaviour, interaction, perception and perspectives, as well as everything we encounter, for evidence of "Should," soon we see its insidious influence everywhere.
"The more we recognise external "Should," the more we recognise its infestation within."
New Awareness
This focus on the underlying reasons for our actions makes us acutely Aware of exactly how un-free we really are. Here we had prided ourselves on our independence, but really, we come to realise, we still do much because of "should." When we examine those actions, activities, interactions, and particularly relationships, we quickly see the root cause of our misery. We don't want to do so much we engage in, not in the least, yet we do. Why? Because of that horror, "should!"
From this one singular persistent focus of noticing "should," much results. To unhook from "should," to kiss it goodbye, what's needed? To truly claim our deeply desired Independence-of-Being, what's required of us? We have to acquire much. Courage for a start. Next comes Trust. Trust in our OWN capability to determine Sensibility.
Whenever we abrogate our freedom-of-choice to "should," we are in essence saying; "I'm incapable of determining what's good for me, by myself." How does this make any sense at all? If this were really true, well, we are lost. Yes, of course we learn from everything around us, but, in the end, we, and we alone, the individual, is the Final-Arbiter-of-Truth. If it's not us, we're not living our own life, but someone else's.
As we persist in weeding out "Should," we find other benefits. We realise how we think, how we perceive, how we relate and connect. Once we Understand we've been defaulting to someone else's idea and thoughts and beliefs, and after the horror abates, joy sets in, as now we realise we can start living our OWN lives, think our own thoughts, make our own choices and decisions. A heady power, and a delicious freedom.
New Choices, New Questions
Most excitingly, we develop the habit of simply asking a sincere, earnest sober, "Why?" to what we took for granted. We ask "Why?" to what we had done before without any thought at all. And now, we find reasons to our why, because it's asked with an expectation of reply, asked with an insistence on answer, which leads us to see for the most part, there IS no good reason why we do so much which brings us nothing but misery, stress, or wastes our time. There's really no good justification for why we insist on doing so much of what we do simply because of that corrupter of independence: "Should."
What a liberation to realise there's absolutely no need whatsoever to do what all our lives we thought we needed to. It's somewhat humbling to recognise how much we've done, how much we've lived, how much time we've wasted, all because of an unquestioning default to "Should." But the joy of our newfound freedom, exquisite!!!
Living should-less is profound. Suddenly it is US who are doing the living. All of our Self and everything we are, want to be, intend to be, is suddenly all in play. Now US, ourselves, our own individuality, is our own deliberate choice! When we unhook from "should" it's like a fog is lifted from the mind. Suddenly WE start actually thinking, deciding, choosing, and it's glorious!
Maintaining a constant awareness of "should" is a most worthwhile practice and habit to cultivate, as the effects of such a vigilance are incalculably significant. Unhooking leads to the necessity to self-decide, which leads to all the magic of choice, leading us to the delights of Replacement. All starting with a perpetually leveraged focused attention on "should."
A handy reminder:
"We shouldn't should on ourselves."
Nobelia.org
#Should #Shouldn't #PersonalFreedom #IndependenceOfBeing #ThinkingForOurselves #FreeChoice #UnhookingFromShould #UnConditioning #ReplacementPhilosophy #SelfChange #SelfImprovement
www.SylSabastian.Blogspot.com https://www.facebook.com/syl.sabastian (For Comments) Enter your email address: [image error] Subscribe in a reader
November 19, 2018
The Young Young Man's Story - Ch 6 The Magic of Context Part 2
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/nobelia/episodes/The-Young-Young-Mans-Story---Ch-6-The-Magic-of-Context-Part-2-e2k4d0
Continued from Ch 6 Part 1: https://sylsabastian.blogspot.com/2018/11/the-young-young-mans-story-ch-6-magic.html
The Young Man: - I didn't immediately use the term Strategy for what I developed, it simply attached itself at some point later on. I had realised there were many many ways to deal with situations. One of the key Understandings inherent in this variety of option was the Understanding of Awareness.
I studied the sources of potential trouble closely, teachers, bullies, parents, all of them. I analysed all of them and from this study flowed Understanding. I realised not everyone was aware of everything, therein lay survival advantage, and options. The other key Understanding then, was people didn't automatically act sensibly, as one would presume, well at least to my pre-teen mind. Or logically, or rationally. All of those were a factor of their Awareness.
A key element of the strategy then rested on Knowing Others. All of their actions *DID* follow a logic, of sorts. But typically narrow logic, closed logic, situational logic, circumstantial logic, internal logic. All of this odd logic was thus, lack-of-awareness-Logic. Or, bubble-logic.
Again...
L: - Yes!
The Young Man: - Again, this was Yuuuge! My uncovering of these different logics meant if I could figure out that limited logic, all I had to do to have a Strategic Advantage was apply a greater-context logic. Or, use the internal logic for leverage, against itself if need be.
I had already thought much about logic, this insight into the various logics led me to greater efforts concerning logic.
L: - “Very logical! wink emoticon Tee hee. Loving the YM's story... <3 ”
The Young Man: - I investigated Logic in detail. Capital L Logic. Making again my own definition of what it meant to me. A powerful mechanism for Understanding. Of course I also looked it up in the dictionary, but sadly, dictionaries are limited in this regard. Not because they are deficient, but because they weren't personalised, as well as limitations of space.
To fully Understand something, I figured, one had to be able to *Apply* it. This was critical. Knowing what logic was defined as in the dictionary, didn't show how to *Apply* logic.
To me logic was always conditional, always related to something, to a goal of sorts, or a relationship. It made sense if it was true, or if the goal was achieved. Even before Spock made his infamously famous *Illogical* line of: "Emotions are illogical," I'd already heard such beliefs. TV wasn't yet in the country. :)
But the series was out elsewhere in the world. I assume that particular popular nugget had made its way there. However, this intrigued me no end. When I first became aware of it, “Emotions are illogical” wasn't connected to Spock in any way. He wasn't at all a part of any conversation. That statement could also have been a product of the conservative culture which did regard emotional displays as distasteful and inappropriate, or 'silly' and thus, by extension, illogical. Very much an underlying sentiment.
Had I known it was uttered by a supposed paragon of logic I would have been even more astounded, as I indeed was when I watched the series later.
The statement...
Oh most cool L. <3 I'm enjoying telling it to you. Liking the story myself also.
L: - “Haha... love Spock... lol.
...”
The Young Man: - The statement: "Emotions are illogical," made no sense to me, long before Spock. How could they simply be logical or illogical on their own? Illogical for what? In what situation? If one experiences fear, and it helps one to run away, was fear then not logical? If love helped us to be in a relationship, was it not logical? If joy and happiness helped us and made things better, were they not logical? If anger helped us deal with a threat was it not logical?
Many examples of where *Having* emotions was logical existed.
Just as many situation existed where *having* emotions was illogical. If our squeamishness led us to not clean a wound and this led to infection, the squeamishness was illogical. Many examples of when *having* emotions was illogical. Having or not having emotions can't be logical or not, however emotions themselves, of their own accord, without context, could not logically be determined to be illogical or not. A fundamental display of an ignorance of how logic works. Lol.
But for me then, so clearly absurd. When one thought about it, *Emotions* themselves could not be logical or illogical, modifiers, context, connections, purpose etc. were needed. This made me look deeper. The issue too odd to ignore. How could such a clearly *Illogical* statement be accepted as a logical?
Of course what's *meant* by the statement is not the same as what's said by it, as is often the case with many statements. But even what's *meant,* or implied, is not logical either.
A...
L: - “Lol...”
The Young Man: - A huge ball of muddled and contradictory thinking. The more I delved the worse it became. I realised in the end people on the whole didn't like thinking. They didn't want to make the effort to actually think about implications and developments, and to actually make the effort to check whether something was actually what it purported to be. That was the important rub of it.
The *Purported.* meaning, the implied meaning and the emotional and attitudinal meaning, here the focus lay.
If it *Sounded* good, that was enough. If those who said whatever sounded confident, well then it "Must Be" true. Otherwise of course, they would not be so confident.
Monumental.
Most people just adopted their sensibility and beliefs based on what they perceived in others. AND... it wasn't based on any kind of *ACTUAL* sensibility whatsoever. Simply on the *Appearance* of sensibility, the *assumption* of sensibility.
Revolutionary.
And, appalling to me, to be foolish simply because one was ignorant was one thing, but to adopt what was blatantly and obviously self-contradictory as a truth of belief which led to very real changes of behaviour, was astonishing. And again, appalling.
This matter of "Emotions are illogical" wasn't simply a matter of faulty thinking, a matter of logic, or even laziness to investigate, as it was with the idea of Perfection when I had investigated, no, it went a lot deeper. This flawed belief actually led to real changes of behaviour. Amazing, and again, appalling.
People were actually suppressing their emotions. They were developing negative feeling towards *having* emotions. And all of this based on an idea which inherently not only didn't make sense, but was inherently illogical, Didn't Make Sense in pretty much any context when one thought about it even a little bit.
So how did it Make Sense?
L: - “Conditioning!”
The Young Man: - I even then realised things had to Make Sense in some Context, otherwise they couldn't happen. The word Context, I now remember, was huge when it came along, when it was uncovered by me. Not the concept, the word itself. Like most such words, ones not commonly used, or not used in the fullness of their meaning, I understood the concept from working it out, before the word came along.
Because I was doing my investigation, my developments, my construct, building, formulating and creating of what I needed, completely by myself, I had no need for the precise terms, or words. I understood much without the words.
Appropriateness, from the Bathroom Incident, is a great example. From that incident onward, Appropriateness was a part of everything I did. I used it daily, continually, as much as my limited Awareness could Apply. But all without the word, which came later. I'm assuming the word probably was used in the course of social conversation. Well I know it actually was, such as, 'That would be inappropriate." But always applied in some sort of approval related circumstance. Implications of meaning which were similar, but too specific. Also, almost always the inappropriate was pointed out, seldom, if ever was the appropriate supplied as such, and when this did occur, never was Appropriateness in the Abstract Consideration in play, but rather, distortions such as proper, rules, duty, “should” and other such limitations of concept.
The word Appropriate, was meant in its usage, conformity. Not actual Appropriateness. The concept of Appropriateness, which had its own strategic implications, wasn't used in the way I internally understood it. The actual word Appropriateness only came to be used by me much later. When I could use it in its full context and dissociated from the connotations and implications of its misuse.
But Context came sooner. Coming then, early, during that analysis and investigation of Logic. Such a joy when it came. I remember distinctly, a physical pleasure. So *right* for what I needed. Helping so much, making what I had figured out *so* much easier to use, connecting to so much more. Lol, Context was my gateway drug....
L: - “Haha... the chameleon factor!”
The Young Man: - Context was a connector. I connected so much. Connecting to logic of course, to Awareness., to Appropriateness. Indeed, Context was my substitute for the word Appropriateness for a long time, in many ways. I loved how the simple understanding of Context connected to so much.
It was a key word. Knowing Context, being aware of Context, knowing what Context implied, Understanding Context, and more, all led to so so much. Knowing Context led to everything.
Glorious.
Right there I had my Tool. Right there in that one word and Concept, I had my ability. The key root aspect and knowledge I needed which would enable me to not be stupid. The something I needed which would allow me to escape the limitations and restrictions of memory, and allow me to "Work it out" on the spot.
Oh it was magnificent. Understanding the Concept of Context was a *real* ability. Powerful. I could feel the expansion of my Awareness when I put it all together. I'd been searching, looking, for what I knew I was missing. I knew I had the Understanding, but not an easy way to use it, clumsy and top heavy, unwieldy. But the term Context, when it kind of emerged, for that was the experience, it emerged from, and I have an actual visual memory of this, it emerged from underneath, and slightly to the left, of what was like a large wide whirlpoolish, but not moving, hazlelike mass of knowing.
Into this conglomeration of Understanding, this accumulation of knowings, this mass I had put together, not deliberately, into and from this inadvertent shape, arose Context.
From where I do not know. But it came from underneath and merged with that mass of what I had built, with what was related. And it fused. In that fusing it made everything lighter. There the visual ended. I only have the sense of making it lighter. But the visual clearly showed it emerging from somewhere in that mass.
The feeling of things being lighter was the only feeling associated with that merging. The rest of its importance was mental. When I thought it over, as had now already become my habit, as I explored, and prodded and poked and bent and twisted, examined and analysed and in every other way I could possibly think of, I immersed myself into the Understanding of the implications of Context. I saw the connections. I connected the connections. Didn't just happen. I had to manually do so. I had to tie it all up, put it all together. This I realise was a big deal.
I realise...
I needed coffee. Brb.
L: - “Lol…”
Continued in Chapter 7 – The Practice of Patience...
#YoungMan #Context #Awareness #Logic #EmotionsAreIllogical #Appropriateness #Strategy #Conditioning #Conforming #Bookstagram
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Continued from Ch 6 Part 1: https://sylsabastian.blogspot.com/2018/11/the-young-young-mans-story-ch-6-magic.html
The Young Man: - I didn't immediately use the term Strategy for what I developed, it simply attached itself at some point later on. I had realised there were many many ways to deal with situations. One of the key Understandings inherent in this variety of option was the Understanding of Awareness.
I studied the sources of potential trouble closely, teachers, bullies, parents, all of them. I analysed all of them and from this study flowed Understanding. I realised not everyone was aware of everything, therein lay survival advantage, and options. The other key Understanding then, was people didn't automatically act sensibly, as one would presume, well at least to my pre-teen mind. Or logically, or rationally. All of those were a factor of their Awareness.
A key element of the strategy then rested on Knowing Others. All of their actions *DID* follow a logic, of sorts. But typically narrow logic, closed logic, situational logic, circumstantial logic, internal logic. All of this odd logic was thus, lack-of-awareness-Logic. Or, bubble-logic.
Again...
L: - Yes!
The Young Man: - Again, this was Yuuuge! My uncovering of these different logics meant if I could figure out that limited logic, all I had to do to have a Strategic Advantage was apply a greater-context logic. Or, use the internal logic for leverage, against itself if need be.
I had already thought much about logic, this insight into the various logics led me to greater efforts concerning logic.
L: - “Very logical! wink emoticon Tee hee. Loving the YM's story... <3 ”
The Young Man: - I investigated Logic in detail. Capital L Logic. Making again my own definition of what it meant to me. A powerful mechanism for Understanding. Of course I also looked it up in the dictionary, but sadly, dictionaries are limited in this regard. Not because they are deficient, but because they weren't personalised, as well as limitations of space.
To fully Understand something, I figured, one had to be able to *Apply* it. This was critical. Knowing what logic was defined as in the dictionary, didn't show how to *Apply* logic.
To me logic was always conditional, always related to something, to a goal of sorts, or a relationship. It made sense if it was true, or if the goal was achieved. Even before Spock made his infamously famous *Illogical* line of: "Emotions are illogical," I'd already heard such beliefs. TV wasn't yet in the country. :)
But the series was out elsewhere in the world. I assume that particular popular nugget had made its way there. However, this intrigued me no end. When I first became aware of it, “Emotions are illogical” wasn't connected to Spock in any way. He wasn't at all a part of any conversation. That statement could also have been a product of the conservative culture which did regard emotional displays as distasteful and inappropriate, or 'silly' and thus, by extension, illogical. Very much an underlying sentiment.
Had I known it was uttered by a supposed paragon of logic I would have been even more astounded, as I indeed was when I watched the series later.
The statement...
Oh most cool L. <3 I'm enjoying telling it to you. Liking the story myself also.
L: - “Haha... love Spock... lol.
...”
The Young Man: - The statement: "Emotions are illogical," made no sense to me, long before Spock. How could they simply be logical or illogical on their own? Illogical for what? In what situation? If one experiences fear, and it helps one to run away, was fear then not logical? If love helped us to be in a relationship, was it not logical? If joy and happiness helped us and made things better, were they not logical? If anger helped us deal with a threat was it not logical?
Many examples of where *Having* emotions was logical existed.
Just as many situation existed where *having* emotions was illogical. If our squeamishness led us to not clean a wound and this led to infection, the squeamishness was illogical. Many examples of when *having* emotions was illogical. Having or not having emotions can't be logical or not, however emotions themselves, of their own accord, without context, could not logically be determined to be illogical or not. A fundamental display of an ignorance of how logic works. Lol.
But for me then, so clearly absurd. When one thought about it, *Emotions* themselves could not be logical or illogical, modifiers, context, connections, purpose etc. were needed. This made me look deeper. The issue too odd to ignore. How could such a clearly *Illogical* statement be accepted as a logical?
Of course what's *meant* by the statement is not the same as what's said by it, as is often the case with many statements. But even what's *meant,* or implied, is not logical either.
A...
L: - “Lol...”
The Young Man: - A huge ball of muddled and contradictory thinking. The more I delved the worse it became. I realised in the end people on the whole didn't like thinking. They didn't want to make the effort to actually think about implications and developments, and to actually make the effort to check whether something was actually what it purported to be. That was the important rub of it.
The *Purported.* meaning, the implied meaning and the emotional and attitudinal meaning, here the focus lay.
If it *Sounded* good, that was enough. If those who said whatever sounded confident, well then it "Must Be" true. Otherwise of course, they would not be so confident.
Monumental.
Most people just adopted their sensibility and beliefs based on what they perceived in others. AND... it wasn't based on any kind of *ACTUAL* sensibility whatsoever. Simply on the *Appearance* of sensibility, the *assumption* of sensibility.
Revolutionary.
And, appalling to me, to be foolish simply because one was ignorant was one thing, but to adopt what was blatantly and obviously self-contradictory as a truth of belief which led to very real changes of behaviour, was astonishing. And again, appalling.
This matter of "Emotions are illogical" wasn't simply a matter of faulty thinking, a matter of logic, or even laziness to investigate, as it was with the idea of Perfection when I had investigated, no, it went a lot deeper. This flawed belief actually led to real changes of behaviour. Amazing, and again, appalling.
People were actually suppressing their emotions. They were developing negative feeling towards *having* emotions. And all of this based on an idea which inherently not only didn't make sense, but was inherently illogical, Didn't Make Sense in pretty much any context when one thought about it even a little bit.
So how did it Make Sense?
L: - “Conditioning!”
The Young Man: - I even then realised things had to Make Sense in some Context, otherwise they couldn't happen. The word Context, I now remember, was huge when it came along, when it was uncovered by me. Not the concept, the word itself. Like most such words, ones not commonly used, or not used in the fullness of their meaning, I understood the concept from working it out, before the word came along.
Because I was doing my investigation, my developments, my construct, building, formulating and creating of what I needed, completely by myself, I had no need for the precise terms, or words. I understood much without the words.
Appropriateness, from the Bathroom Incident, is a great example. From that incident onward, Appropriateness was a part of everything I did. I used it daily, continually, as much as my limited Awareness could Apply. But all without the word, which came later. I'm assuming the word probably was used in the course of social conversation. Well I know it actually was, such as, 'That would be inappropriate." But always applied in some sort of approval related circumstance. Implications of meaning which were similar, but too specific. Also, almost always the inappropriate was pointed out, seldom, if ever was the appropriate supplied as such, and when this did occur, never was Appropriateness in the Abstract Consideration in play, but rather, distortions such as proper, rules, duty, “should” and other such limitations of concept.
The word Appropriate, was meant in its usage, conformity. Not actual Appropriateness. The concept of Appropriateness, which had its own strategic implications, wasn't used in the way I internally understood it. The actual word Appropriateness only came to be used by me much later. When I could use it in its full context and dissociated from the connotations and implications of its misuse.
But Context came sooner. Coming then, early, during that analysis and investigation of Logic. Such a joy when it came. I remember distinctly, a physical pleasure. So *right* for what I needed. Helping so much, making what I had figured out *so* much easier to use, connecting to so much more. Lol, Context was my gateway drug....
L: - “Haha... the chameleon factor!”
The Young Man: - Context was a connector. I connected so much. Connecting to logic of course, to Awareness., to Appropriateness. Indeed, Context was my substitute for the word Appropriateness for a long time, in many ways. I loved how the simple understanding of Context connected to so much.
It was a key word. Knowing Context, being aware of Context, knowing what Context implied, Understanding Context, and more, all led to so so much. Knowing Context led to everything.
Glorious.
Right there I had my Tool. Right there in that one word and Concept, I had my ability. The key root aspect and knowledge I needed which would enable me to not be stupid. The something I needed which would allow me to escape the limitations and restrictions of memory, and allow me to "Work it out" on the spot.
Oh it was magnificent. Understanding the Concept of Context was a *real* ability. Powerful. I could feel the expansion of my Awareness when I put it all together. I'd been searching, looking, for what I knew I was missing. I knew I had the Understanding, but not an easy way to use it, clumsy and top heavy, unwieldy. But the term Context, when it kind of emerged, for that was the experience, it emerged from, and I have an actual visual memory of this, it emerged from underneath, and slightly to the left, of what was like a large wide whirlpoolish, but not moving, hazlelike mass of knowing.
Into this conglomeration of Understanding, this accumulation of knowings, this mass I had put together, not deliberately, into and from this inadvertent shape, arose Context.
From where I do not know. But it came from underneath and merged with that mass of what I had built, with what was related. And it fused. In that fusing it made everything lighter. There the visual ended. I only have the sense of making it lighter. But the visual clearly showed it emerging from somewhere in that mass.
The feeling of things being lighter was the only feeling associated with that merging. The rest of its importance was mental. When I thought it over, as had now already become my habit, as I explored, and prodded and poked and bent and twisted, examined and analysed and in every other way I could possibly think of, I immersed myself into the Understanding of the implications of Context. I saw the connections. I connected the connections. Didn't just happen. I had to manually do so. I had to tie it all up, put it all together. This I realise was a big deal.
I realise...
I needed coffee. Brb.
L: - “Lol…”
Continued in Chapter 7 – The Practice of Patience...
#YoungMan #Context #Awareness #Logic #EmotionsAreIllogical #Appropriateness #Strategy #Conditioning #Conforming #Bookstagram
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https://www.facebook.com/syl.sabastian (For Comments)
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November 18, 2018
64 Ask Biella: - "How do I self-talk?"
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/nobelia/episodes/54-Ask-Biella---How-do-I-self-talk-e2jslg
Train The Brain
Dear Questioner, the key with self-talk is to make it real and believable, as well as having it represent our goal. Let's say one wants to deal with a really bad temper.
Most go around saying, "I have a really bad temper." Which is an acknowledgement, and an attempt to deal with the problem, but, saying so in that particular way also locks in the problem.
Now, let's instead say, and also really really mean it: "I USED to have a really bad temper, still is, but I'm working on it, it's getting better."
To make that self-statement true, we actually have to have done something to at least make it a little true, true enough for us to say it without feeling like a bullshitter. The moment we say self-stuff which feels like bullshit, it doesn't work.
So, as we *actually* work on the change, whatever it is, we keep saying:
"My (problem) is getting less and less all the time. It's getting better. I used to have a really bad whatever but not any more."
And as we go along, we have now put ourselves on a Path, and our self-talk describes the Path, how we are constantly improving. And because it's true, the body can believe it, make it so. Through the power of Emphasis, importance, and truth, we Train The Brain and actually literally rewire it and change it's structure to what we want.
The more we say: "I'm getting better and better," because it's true, and self-reinforcing, the more we DO get better and better, until we get to that point where we can say to ourselves and of ourselves. "I used to have ...but not anymore, it's gone now." That's the goal.
Self-talk is incredibly powerful when used this way, when we understand we like the truth, and our body attempts to make our truths true, and we simply have to find an Appropriate and strategic way to present our truth to our bodies. There lies the heart of it, in order for that truth to be true, we actually have to DO something to make it so. Doesn't have to be a big thing, but it has to be a something. Self-talk applied in this way where it's real and true and describes the Path, will do the rest. We CAN Train The Brain, it's totally possible, we simply need to use the Tools at our disposal sensibly, through being Real in a smart way.
Helpful to know when it comes to self-change is that the body, or that part which controls what we want to change, doesn't care for sudden huge radical changes, scares the crap out of that side of us. But incremental change in small safe steps, that's not a problem. And once the body has become used to change, the steps can get bigger and bigger.
"Little by little leads to leaps and bounds."
Biella
Nobelia.org - Ask BiellaAsk Biella - Gateway Gazette
#AskBiella #SelfTalk #SelfChange #RealSelf #Emphasis #PersonalChange #TrainTheBrain
To Ask Biella a question email her at BiellaNoble@Nobelia.org.www.SylSabastian.Blogspot.com
https://www.facebook.com/syl.sabastian (For Comments)
Enter your email address:
[image error] Subscribe in a reader
Train The Brain
Dear Questioner, the key with self-talk is to make it real and believable, as well as having it represent our goal. Let's say one wants to deal with a really bad temper.
Most go around saying, "I have a really bad temper." Which is an acknowledgement, and an attempt to deal with the problem, but, saying so in that particular way also locks in the problem.
Now, let's instead say, and also really really mean it: "I USED to have a really bad temper, still is, but I'm working on it, it's getting better."
To make that self-statement true, we actually have to have done something to at least make it a little true, true enough for us to say it without feeling like a bullshitter. The moment we say self-stuff which feels like bullshit, it doesn't work.
So, as we *actually* work on the change, whatever it is, we keep saying:
"My (problem) is getting less and less all the time. It's getting better. I used to have a really bad whatever but not any more."
And as we go along, we have now put ourselves on a Path, and our self-talk describes the Path, how we are constantly improving. And because it's true, the body can believe it, make it so. Through the power of Emphasis, importance, and truth, we Train The Brain and actually literally rewire it and change it's structure to what we want.
The more we say: "I'm getting better and better," because it's true, and self-reinforcing, the more we DO get better and better, until we get to that point where we can say to ourselves and of ourselves. "I used to have ...but not anymore, it's gone now." That's the goal.
Self-talk is incredibly powerful when used this way, when we understand we like the truth, and our body attempts to make our truths true, and we simply have to find an Appropriate and strategic way to present our truth to our bodies. There lies the heart of it, in order for that truth to be true, we actually have to DO something to make it so. Doesn't have to be a big thing, but it has to be a something. Self-talk applied in this way where it's real and true and describes the Path, will do the rest. We CAN Train The Brain, it's totally possible, we simply need to use the Tools at our disposal sensibly, through being Real in a smart way.
Helpful to know when it comes to self-change is that the body, or that part which controls what we want to change, doesn't care for sudden huge radical changes, scares the crap out of that side of us. But incremental change in small safe steps, that's not a problem. And once the body has become used to change, the steps can get bigger and bigger.
"Little by little leads to leaps and bounds."
Biella
Nobelia.org - Ask BiellaAsk Biella - Gateway Gazette
#AskBiella #SelfTalk #SelfChange #RealSelf #Emphasis #PersonalChange #TrainTheBrain
To Ask Biella a question email her at BiellaNoble@Nobelia.org.www.SylSabastian.Blogspot.com
https://www.facebook.com/syl.sabastian (For Comments)
Enter your email address:
[image error] Subscribe in a reader
54 Ask Biella: - "How do I self-talk?"
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/nobelia/episodes/54-Ask-Biella---How-do-I-self-talk-e2jslg
Train The Brain
Dear Questioner, the key with self-talk is to make it real and believable, as well as having it represent our goal. Let's say one wants to deal with a really bad temper.
Most go around saying, "I have a really bad temper." Which is an acknowledgement, and an attempt to deal with the problem, but, saying so in that particular way also locks in the problem.
Now, let's instead say, and also really really mean it: "I USED to have a really bad temper, still is, but I'm working on it, it's getting better."
To make that self-statement true, we actually have to have done something to at least make it a little true, true enough for us to say it without feeling like a bullshitter. The moment we say self-stuff which feels like bullshit, it doesn't work.
So, as we *actually* work on the change, whatever it is, we keep saying:
"My (problem) is getting less and less all the time. It's getting better. I used to have a really bad whatever but not any more."
And as we go along, we have now put ourselves on a Path, and our self-talk describes the Path, how we are constantly improving. And because it's true, the body can believe it, make it so. Through the power of Emphasis, importance, and truth, we Train The Brain and actually literally rewire it and change it's structure to what we want.
The more we say: "I'm getting better and better," because it's true, and self-reinforcing, the more we DO get better and better, until we get to that point where we can say to ourselves and of ourselves. "I used to have ...but not anymore, it's gone now." That's the goal.
Self-talk is incredibly powerful when used this way, when we understand we like the truth, and our body attempts to make our truths true, and we simply have to find an Appropriate and strategic way to present our truth to our bodies. There lies the heart of it, in order for that truth to be true, we actually have to DO something to make it so. Doesn't have to be a big thing, but it has to be a something. Self-talk applied in this way where it's real and true and describes the Path, will do the rest. We CAN Train The Brain, it's totally possible, we simply need to use the Tools at our disposal sensibly, through being Real in a smart way.
Helpful to know when it comes to self-change is that the body, or that part which controls what we want to change, doesn't care for sudden huge radical changes, scares the crap out of that side of us. But incremental change in small safe steps, that's not a problem. And once the body has become used to change, the steps can get bigger and bigger.
"Little by little leads to leaps and bounds."
Biella
Nobelia.org - Ask BiellaAsk Biella - Gateway Gazette
#AskBiella #SelfTalk #SelfChange #RealSelf #Emphasis #PersonalChange #TrainTheBrain
To Ask Biella a question email her at BiellaNoble@Nobelia.org.www.SylSabastian.Blogspot.com
https://www.facebook.com/syl.sabastian (For Comments)
Enter your email address:
[image error] Subscribe in a reader
Train The Brain
Dear Questioner, the key with self-talk is to make it real and believable, as well as having it represent our goal. Let's say one wants to deal with a really bad temper.
Most go around saying, "I have a really bad temper." Which is an acknowledgement, and an attempt to deal with the problem, but, saying so in that particular way also locks in the problem.
Now, let's instead say, and also really really mean it: "I USED to have a really bad temper, still is, but I'm working on it, it's getting better."
To make that self-statement true, we actually have to have done something to at least make it a little true, true enough for us to say it without feeling like a bullshitter. The moment we say self-stuff which feels like bullshit, it doesn't work.
So, as we *actually* work on the change, whatever it is, we keep saying:
"My (problem) is getting less and less all the time. It's getting better. I used to have a really bad whatever but not any more."
And as we go along, we have now put ourselves on a Path, and our self-talk describes the Path, how we are constantly improving. And because it's true, the body can believe it, make it so. Through the power of Emphasis, importance, and truth, we Train The Brain and actually literally rewire it and change it's structure to what we want.
The more we say: "I'm getting better and better," because it's true, and self-reinforcing, the more we DO get better and better, until we get to that point where we can say to ourselves and of ourselves. "I used to have ...but not anymore, it's gone now." That's the goal.
Self-talk is incredibly powerful when used this way, when we understand we like the truth, and our body attempts to make our truths true, and we simply have to find an Appropriate and strategic way to present our truth to our bodies. There lies the heart of it, in order for that truth to be true, we actually have to DO something to make it so. Doesn't have to be a big thing, but it has to be a something. Self-talk applied in this way where it's real and true and describes the Path, will do the rest. We CAN Train The Brain, it's totally possible, we simply need to use the Tools at our disposal sensibly, through being Real in a smart way.
Helpful to know when it comes to self-change is that the body, or that part which controls what we want to change, doesn't care for sudden huge radical changes, scares the crap out of that side of us. But incremental change in small safe steps, that's not a problem. And once the body has become used to change, the steps can get bigger and bigger.
"Little by little leads to leaps and bounds."
Biella
Nobelia.org - Ask BiellaAsk Biella - Gateway Gazette
#AskBiella #SelfTalk #SelfChange #RealSelf #Emphasis #PersonalChange #TrainTheBrain
To Ask Biella a question email her at BiellaNoble@Nobelia.org.www.SylSabastian.Blogspot.com
https://www.facebook.com/syl.sabastian (For Comments)
Enter your email address:
[image error] Subscribe in a reader
November 16, 2018
The Young Young Man's Story - Ch 6 The Magic of Context
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/nobelia/episodes/The-Young-Young-Mans-Story---Ch-6-The-Magic-of-Context-Part-1-e2jj5r
Continued from Ch5 Part 2: https://sylsabastian.blogspot.com/2018/11/the-young-young-mans-story-ch-5_15.html
5/10, 8:33am
L: - “So where did the YM leave off? Am anxious for the next part about Don Juan...”
The Young Man: - To continue the YYM's Story:
It's difficult to remember all the concepts I developed for myself during the time after the light-bulb exploded, like Patience and Tolerance and all similar such. There were many. As they came about they were focused on, figured out, developed. Much effort was made to acquire them.
These qualities, and to me, abilities, were in the general awareness, but usually, just as something one "should" have. The underlying perspective and attitude toward them was they...
L: - “Yay!”
The Young Man: - :) Was already writing - Snappo - will connect back to DJ later.
L: - “K :) ”
The Young Man: - The underlying perspective and attitude, in general, to these Concepts-of-Character was they were desirable and Good to have, but their full acquisition wasn't a realistic possibility. Or an underlying implication it would entail too much effort, and not worthwhile.
But when I examined this, that perspective didn't hold up at all. Yes, it required effort to acquire something like Patience, but the rewards were inordinate.
I single out Patience because it was a major significant quality and ability to me. One of the most important and significant focuses I engaged in.
When I...
L: - “Yes, patience... a lesson for me I can feel it...
continue!
Helps me work and feel like I have company when I see the little dancing dots. tee hee :) ”
The Young Man: - When I examined in detail all of the benefits of Patience I was amazed at the undervaluation, as Patience affected *Everything,* doing so constantly and continuously.
But first I had to define Patience, for me. Needing a way of knowing exactly what comprised this vital concept and ability. A most important part of what I was engaged in. I didn't think of it then as building and developing a Philosophy, but that's what I was doing. The word Philosophy wasn't yet one I used regularly.
Philosophy literally means Love of Wisdom. And that's exactly what had happened. I'd fallen in love with Wisdom. I pursued Understanding with all my Being, with all the potency of a teenager pursuing what they've fallen madly in love with.
Why Wisdom...
L: - “...”
The Young Man: - Yay!!! And yes I hear you. It helps me write knowing you are there. Even if you respond once a morning or afternoon or so, it's enough, more than enough. :) <3 <3 <3
L: - “Mutual Universal collaboration! Tee hee. Yay!”
The Young Man: - My goal was Perfection, my version, an unknown state, one only known once one gets there. A state, once attained, from which I would not wish to change anything at all, and for me, this implied a state where variability, variety, surprise, freshness creation, change etc, would be a constant aspect. To attain this state-of-being, my present circumstances-of-self would have to be improved. To improve Me-Now, first silliness had to be eliminated. To avoid silliness, Awareness was needed.
Awareness to me then had two aspects. One the Awareness of Situation, or Jungle Awareness, sensory Awareness. Powerful, making a huge difference. If we're always caught up in our bubbles and immersive thoughts we didn't notice what's going on around us. We didn't notice the lion creeping up on us, or the bully headed our way, or the myriad smaller matters, which, when noticed, made a huge difference to our quality of living. An Awareness of the physical.
This Awareness of the material or regular reality included Awareness of attitudes and beliefs and so on, which led to my huge project of Knowing People, but more on that later.
Then...
L: - “Cool ! Jungle awareness! <3 ”
The Young Man: - Then the Awareness of Knowing. Knowledge thus, or non-ignorance. This the acquisition of knowing understandings like: a rock could hurt a little girl if thrown. Yes that's an obvious knowing to us now. But it wasn't so to me at one time, my memory and it's acute impact, leveraged me to consider which other perhaps less obvious, but missing knowings I had yet to acquire. And that non-obviousness was a big deal, as was the not-knowing.
I realised knowing matters of this nature were of course accumulated through living. But this wasn't enough to me. Our knowledge of the obvious would be limited to our experience, which would leave us unprepared in circumstances we had not yet experienced. Much too limiting. And in the light of the path-to-perfection, not ideal at all. I had to find a better way.
Knowing, in the sense of having accumulated the obvious via experience I saw as connected to memory. Not ideal to me either. I observed daily how my classmates would receive hidings literally because they didn't remember the exact same thing from one day to the next. Memory had severe limitations.
I insisted on finding a better way.
What if...
L: - “Hmm... yes makes sense! :) ”
The Young Man: - What if one didn't need memory!!!! How would that work? One would have to figure out the obvious on the spot!! Yes!!! What an awesome solution.
I'd already seen the power of situational construction of solution. When I thought back to my rock, and went into my mind of the time, because the Awareness of that incident had always stayed with me, I looked at what was going on inside my mind during that moment. I examined and explored what tools and abilities I would have needed in order to *Calculate* the effects of my action.
First I realised simply expanding my spatial, or animal Awareness would have solved the problem. At the time, I can literally see my awareness, at the time, all I was aware of was the rock in my hand and the thought of the sensibility of escalation. That was it. Literally the area around me was more or less dark, not black, but dark as in it would lighten if I had directed my Attention and Awareness toward it. If I had extended my Awareness I would have perceived what was around me.
But perception would not have been enough. I had also needed to be Aware. But just being Aware would also not be enough. The Awareness had to be *Connected* to my actions. My Awareness thus had to be connected to *Consequence.*
This led...
L: - “Wow... not need memory... brilliant way to stay in the "now"...”
...
The Young Man: - This logic step-through led to the Imperative-of-Anticipating. To develop a tool which didn't rely on memory, I would have to be able, have the ability, and constant habit, of looking ahead, to *Anticipate* the potential consequences of my actions.
This was *HUGE*
L: - “Yuuuge!”
The Young Man: - If I could look ahead and Anticipate not only *my* actions but those of others I could avoid much much trouble. As a boy in a male hierarchical society, where not only corporal punishment, but physical harm from bullying a constant and daily risk, this ability to anticipate and see things coming was monumental.
My ability to stay out of trouble became awesome. From then on I pretty much never got into any.
"If one can see trouble before it sees you, it's easy to get out the way."
L: - “Haha... very wise, this young man!”
The Young Man: - Yes YUUUUGE indeed. Next the process of refining the Anticipation-Mindset began. Which leads to Patience. But to get there, a bit of Patience is required.
Anticipation alone wasn't enough. Often the trouble was seen coming but how to deal with the actuality, if unavoidable, still a problem. The obvious solution of running away wasn't always, or even usually, an option. Awareness was all fine and well, but on its own, all that happened is one was just more aware of what was coming. Not always ideal if one didn't have any means to deal with the coming trouble.
The result a potential *increase* of stress. I could see how Lack of Awareness could be preferable to some. But not to me. Going backward, was *Not* an option.
I needed....
L: - “Brave YM! <3 ”
The Young Man: - I needed options, more options, many options. I needed a way to transform the inherently inferior position I found myself in, to in some way to be able to deal with threats and risks despite my physical or situational deficiencies.
Yes, bravery was a factor, but one which could also lead to severe consequences. I needed more.
I needed Strategy!!!
L: - “Ah-ha! Yes!”
Continued in Ch 6 Part 2...
#TheYoungMan #Awareness #Anticipation #PersonalPhilosophy #Logic #Context #Self-Improvement #Strategy #AvoidingTrouble #Bookstagram
www.SylSabastian.Blogspot.com https://www.facebook.com/syl.sabastian (For Comments) Enter your email address: [image error] Subscribe in a reader
Continued from Ch5 Part 2: https://sylsabastian.blogspot.com/2018/11/the-young-young-mans-story-ch-5_15.html
5/10, 8:33am
L: - “So where did the YM leave off? Am anxious for the next part about Don Juan...”
The Young Man: - To continue the YYM's Story:
It's difficult to remember all the concepts I developed for myself during the time after the light-bulb exploded, like Patience and Tolerance and all similar such. There were many. As they came about they were focused on, figured out, developed. Much effort was made to acquire them.
These qualities, and to me, abilities, were in the general awareness, but usually, just as something one "should" have. The underlying perspective and attitude toward them was they...
L: - “Yay!”
The Young Man: - :) Was already writing - Snappo - will connect back to DJ later.
L: - “K :) ”
The Young Man: - The underlying perspective and attitude, in general, to these Concepts-of-Character was they were desirable and Good to have, but their full acquisition wasn't a realistic possibility. Or an underlying implication it would entail too much effort, and not worthwhile.
But when I examined this, that perspective didn't hold up at all. Yes, it required effort to acquire something like Patience, but the rewards were inordinate.
I single out Patience because it was a major significant quality and ability to me. One of the most important and significant focuses I engaged in.
When I...
L: - “Yes, patience... a lesson for me I can feel it...
continue!
Helps me work and feel like I have company when I see the little dancing dots. tee hee :) ”
The Young Man: - When I examined in detail all of the benefits of Patience I was amazed at the undervaluation, as Patience affected *Everything,* doing so constantly and continuously.
But first I had to define Patience, for me. Needing a way of knowing exactly what comprised this vital concept and ability. A most important part of what I was engaged in. I didn't think of it then as building and developing a Philosophy, but that's what I was doing. The word Philosophy wasn't yet one I used regularly.
Philosophy literally means Love of Wisdom. And that's exactly what had happened. I'd fallen in love with Wisdom. I pursued Understanding with all my Being, with all the potency of a teenager pursuing what they've fallen madly in love with.
Why Wisdom...
L: - “...”
The Young Man: - Yay!!! And yes I hear you. It helps me write knowing you are there. Even if you respond once a morning or afternoon or so, it's enough, more than enough. :) <3 <3 <3
L: - “Mutual Universal collaboration! Tee hee. Yay!”
The Young Man: - My goal was Perfection, my version, an unknown state, one only known once one gets there. A state, once attained, from which I would not wish to change anything at all, and for me, this implied a state where variability, variety, surprise, freshness creation, change etc, would be a constant aspect. To attain this state-of-being, my present circumstances-of-self would have to be improved. To improve Me-Now, first silliness had to be eliminated. To avoid silliness, Awareness was needed.
Awareness to me then had two aspects. One the Awareness of Situation, or Jungle Awareness, sensory Awareness. Powerful, making a huge difference. If we're always caught up in our bubbles and immersive thoughts we didn't notice what's going on around us. We didn't notice the lion creeping up on us, or the bully headed our way, or the myriad smaller matters, which, when noticed, made a huge difference to our quality of living. An Awareness of the physical.
This Awareness of the material or regular reality included Awareness of attitudes and beliefs and so on, which led to my huge project of Knowing People, but more on that later.
Then...
L: - “Cool ! Jungle awareness! <3 ”
The Young Man: - Then the Awareness of Knowing. Knowledge thus, or non-ignorance. This the acquisition of knowing understandings like: a rock could hurt a little girl if thrown. Yes that's an obvious knowing to us now. But it wasn't so to me at one time, my memory and it's acute impact, leveraged me to consider which other perhaps less obvious, but missing knowings I had yet to acquire. And that non-obviousness was a big deal, as was the not-knowing.
I realised knowing matters of this nature were of course accumulated through living. But this wasn't enough to me. Our knowledge of the obvious would be limited to our experience, which would leave us unprepared in circumstances we had not yet experienced. Much too limiting. And in the light of the path-to-perfection, not ideal at all. I had to find a better way.
Knowing, in the sense of having accumulated the obvious via experience I saw as connected to memory. Not ideal to me either. I observed daily how my classmates would receive hidings literally because they didn't remember the exact same thing from one day to the next. Memory had severe limitations.
I insisted on finding a better way.
What if...
L: - “Hmm... yes makes sense! :) ”
The Young Man: - What if one didn't need memory!!!! How would that work? One would have to figure out the obvious on the spot!! Yes!!! What an awesome solution.
I'd already seen the power of situational construction of solution. When I thought back to my rock, and went into my mind of the time, because the Awareness of that incident had always stayed with me, I looked at what was going on inside my mind during that moment. I examined and explored what tools and abilities I would have needed in order to *Calculate* the effects of my action.
First I realised simply expanding my spatial, or animal Awareness would have solved the problem. At the time, I can literally see my awareness, at the time, all I was aware of was the rock in my hand and the thought of the sensibility of escalation. That was it. Literally the area around me was more or less dark, not black, but dark as in it would lighten if I had directed my Attention and Awareness toward it. If I had extended my Awareness I would have perceived what was around me.
But perception would not have been enough. I had also needed to be Aware. But just being Aware would also not be enough. The Awareness had to be *Connected* to my actions. My Awareness thus had to be connected to *Consequence.*
This led...
L: - “Wow... not need memory... brilliant way to stay in the "now"...”
...
The Young Man: - This logic step-through led to the Imperative-of-Anticipating. To develop a tool which didn't rely on memory, I would have to be able, have the ability, and constant habit, of looking ahead, to *Anticipate* the potential consequences of my actions.
This was *HUGE*
L: - “Yuuuge!”
The Young Man: - If I could look ahead and Anticipate not only *my* actions but those of others I could avoid much much trouble. As a boy in a male hierarchical society, where not only corporal punishment, but physical harm from bullying a constant and daily risk, this ability to anticipate and see things coming was monumental.
My ability to stay out of trouble became awesome. From then on I pretty much never got into any.
"If one can see trouble before it sees you, it's easy to get out the way."
L: - “Haha... very wise, this young man!”
The Young Man: - Yes YUUUUGE indeed. Next the process of refining the Anticipation-Mindset began. Which leads to Patience. But to get there, a bit of Patience is required.
Anticipation alone wasn't enough. Often the trouble was seen coming but how to deal with the actuality, if unavoidable, still a problem. The obvious solution of running away wasn't always, or even usually, an option. Awareness was all fine and well, but on its own, all that happened is one was just more aware of what was coming. Not always ideal if one didn't have any means to deal with the coming trouble.
The result a potential *increase* of stress. I could see how Lack of Awareness could be preferable to some. But not to me. Going backward, was *Not* an option.
I needed....
L: - “Brave YM! <3 ”
The Young Man: - I needed options, more options, many options. I needed a way to transform the inherently inferior position I found myself in, to in some way to be able to deal with threats and risks despite my physical or situational deficiencies.
Yes, bravery was a factor, but one which could also lead to severe consequences. I needed more.
I needed Strategy!!!
L: - “Ah-ha! Yes!”
Continued in Ch 6 Part 2...
#TheYoungMan #Awareness #Anticipation #PersonalPhilosophy #Logic #Context #Self-Improvement #Strategy #AvoidingTrouble #Bookstagram
www.SylSabastian.Blogspot.com https://www.facebook.com/syl.sabastian (For Comments) Enter your email address: [image error] Subscribe in a reader
November 15, 2018
The Young Young Man's Story - Ch 5 Necessary Detours Part 2
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/nobelia/episodes/The-Young-Young-Mans-Story---Ch-5-Necessary-Detours-Part-2-e2jb2m
Continued from Ch 5 Part 1: https://is.gd/KF8Iy6
5/9, 9:03am
L: - “Dream - more of a 'mind's eye' thing actually... I was awake! Starting to drift off to sleep, when in my mind's eye... I saw a figure... just the view their mid-section... I could see their belt... and their hands... on his right hand, a large 'male' figure, bulky male... on his right hand there was this very bright 'teal/emerald' ring... he started to move his hand slightly left to right to make the ring 'catch the light...' to 'catch my attention...' the message was clear to me... it was a control thing... like hypnotic...”
The Young Man: - That's excellent. What's the good to extract??
You were AWARE!!!!!!
You *know* about it now. You're Empowered!!!! Most excellent. You know to not be taken in. Awesome!!! YAY L!!!
L: - “That image seems to be 'dominating' my mind... having trouble shaking it off. Need to find a way, yet every other way is also another old way.
And the left side of my body feels 'different' than the right side.
Heavier... .cloudier.”
The Young Man: - Interesting.
So you need a way to push them away. To disconnect. Yes?
L: - “I'm aware, lots... usually the symbols I see are soothing, kind, gentle... 'hearts, bursts of loving light etc.'
This was unusual... and not unsurprising when one considers recent conversations on the ECP incident, and the 'shadow stuff...'
It's likely just 'mind' ... 'mind' putting images to Fear... mind making up story. Apparently I have a very creative mind lol. ~
Typically, I would 'call for protection"'in a situation like this.
So instead... I will 'know' everything is OK.”
The Young Man: - Ah and yes, there's a but...
L: - “This is about Power. This is about my Power.”
The Young Man: - Trust now. Trust that the U will show a new way. Shift your Trust there I would say. And just be open to a *NEW* solution coming from the Universe, from yourself.
"A Warrior is impeccable when they Trust their Personal Power, no matter how small it may be."
L: - “Now I can relate to "Warrior" analogies... lol...
haha
teehee.”
The Young Man: - Haha - It always Depends...
<3
Yeah, has its Value.
L: - “Yeah, just as I said that, I had a feeling that it's, 'time to stop fighting.'
Stop fighting ... that's significant!”
The Young Man: - We'll get back to the Warrior Perspective in terms of the story. We were on it. It's that start of the larger story, and we're making a big big detour which will connect back to the Warrior Aspect of it all again. And how things developed from there. :)
L: - “Just Breathe.
Just Breathe in the Light.”
The Young Man: - 'Breathe in Smiles of Power.'
L: - “Don't 'Do' anything.”
The Young Man: - Yeah. :) :) 'Not-Doing.'
One of the techniques for Erasing Personal History.
Along with Gazing and the Gait of Power. :)
L: - “Gazing? Oh boy... hopefully not into eyes. (lol)
tee hee.”
The Young Man: - Lol, no - gazing into eyes, specifically not recommended. Takes lots and lots of Power.
L: - “Just joking.”
The Young Man: - Gazing is a Not-Doing. Gazing in the Not-Spaces.
Yeah, but a cool intuitive joke. Value in it.
L: - “Oh I do that all the time, a little differently perhaps... big thing for me, the not-space... the space between things.”
The Young Man: - That Gazing is just letting *Not* come into being. To connect to *not* as a way of disconnecting from a doing. Like your dream-focus atm is a *Doing*
L: - “Lots going on there...”
The Young Man: - Yes!!!! This: L: "...big thing for me the not-space ... the space between things."
L: - “Right... mindlessness.”
The Young Man: - What I was trying to say!!! :) :)
L: - “?
I'm fascinated by it...”
The Young Man: - Well yes and no. We don't want to create a vacuum. Nature abhors a vacuum and will seek to fill it in some way.
L: - “Observation.”
The Young Man: - Ha, just meant we said the same regarding Gazing.
L: - “Got it.”
The Young Man: - It's a focus on the non-specific. So it's a specific disconnecting from what's specific. :) :)
L: - “Yes... that to me really is the essence of 'mediation.'
Meditation. :) ”
“Non-specific observation.”
The Young Man: - Yes. Connecting to the Unknown also. :)
"When the known is a problem, the solution can only be in the Unknown."
L: - “That's the only way ... to 'touch' the 'unknown...' to observe openly.”
The Young Man: - YES!!!!!!!!!
L: “Nice ! I like that one... ROS?`”
The Young Man: - To observe openly yes. :)
Not a ROS no. For a Rule of Sentience it'll have to be tightened. Makes sense now in context, but a ROS has to be able to completely stand on its own without any context at all.
But would be fun to refine into a Rule. Maybe a good exercise atm by way of Focus Shifting.
L: - “Force of Circumstance.”
The Young Man: - YES!!!!!!!!!!
That's the Power of Attunement via Alignment!!!!!
L: - “What if your language is just another 'trap' for me? It's your philosophy... not mine... even though it makes sense... by focusing on it, by 'relying' on it in any way - in another matrix!”
The Young Man: - Force-of-Circumstance is the wave, surfing the Alignment. FoC is the wind, sailing is the Alignment. Circumstance, Anomalies, happenings, pressure, all Force-of-Circumstance.
Yeah could be indeed. Why Discrimination, Discernment, figuring-it-out, making-it-your-own are so imperative. Because *ALL* language is not our own.
So to make it one's own we have to go to the Root Conception, the foundations, and then go from there. Doesn't matter if it's someone else's structure or not. I don't have to build the house myself to live in it and use it. But I do have to check out its soundness for myself.
L: - “That's how you do it... lol... for me, just doesn't compute!”
The Young Man: - And now lol, you know why I so so so balked at your student-teacher comments. That relationship can only be with the U.
That's to me where at times like this one has to focus. You are experiencing a most most most valid doubt. The doubt of Determining Validity. And ultimately, my me, my I, myself, my local me, is way inadequate for Determining Validity. My Personal Judgement is *Always* suspect. That's why I changed my life, as in the Gift-of-Intent, (GoI) for the exact reasons you are now experiencing.
Because *I,* *Cannot,* with any certainty, be sure of Determinations-of-Validity. The *Only* way I can be sure of Validity is when it comes from the Universe!!! (Or my Subconscious really, greater-self, whatever. Just a term here.)
Lol - it actually does for you. You're doing that exact thing now. You are going to the root of the issue, which is Determining Validity.
L: - “So... continue with the YYM story NOW, since it's all related to this... most perfect don't you think?”
The Young Man: - So... this connects to that potential ROS:
"When the known is a problem, the solution can only be in the Unknown."
It's much more intimately connected to this exact moment now.
L: - “OK, you go...”
The Young Man: - It's simply a Perspective Issue. I see you doing what I'm talking about, but the description doesn't connect and resonate with you.
That's exactly why for each ROS there are the Alternate Variations. Because almost always when we say the exact same thing, but in other ways, it connects at some point if it didn't connect before.
Even if one specific alternative way of saying doesn't resonate, the accumulation of all the various ways of expressing the same point builds up, and allows for comprehension.
It's an awesome mechanism.
So....
So how many different ways can you say this:
"That's the only way ... to "touch" the "unknown" ... to observe openly"
L: - “Yeah, good question... must work now though.”
The Young Man: - Kk laters - let it rumble around inside. :)
L: - “Are you writing?”
The Young Man: - Ah not atm - I have an unfinished part sitting here. But it's a cue for me when I resume - A placeholder.
Bah sorry. I guess you seeing dancing dots. I'm commenting from a second window.
I'll save that unfinished comment for later, when I resume.
There ya go. Sry.
“Stuff happens to get in the way, but Patience rules the day.” :)
L: - “Haha... np...”
The Young Man: - :) <3 How things coming for you now?
L: - “Feeling better ... doing nothing helped. :) ”
The Young Man: - GOOD!!!! Yay <3
...
L: - “Yeah, learning to really just observe and not 'react' or analyse those things seems key... to be amused perhaps, or no emotion at all, instead of getting caught up in 'what did that mean?' ... nothing!”
The Young Man: - YES!!!!!! And always to look for some sort of Positive. That doesn't always mean Positive *Feeling.* Knowing what *NOT* to do is very Positive. So there's always something Positive. Something to learn. In this case maybe just something like learning to be able to be still and not stress when encountering such things. I think that's huge. To be able to regulate our feelings towards “stuff.”
Much of predation is activated or triggered by victims behaving like victims. When they don't, it can completely nullify predatory instincts and behaviours.
L: - “It is huge... on many levels... it's huge to not react as that's what causes those 'ptsd' moments to imprint in our muscles and tissues etc. It could be nothing at all, yet if in our unawareness, we 'react' to it... then all of a sudden now it's 'something,' and that something can stick with us for decades!!!!”
“Like the time when I was maybe eight or so, when I asked my uncle next door where he was going as he was walking, and he looked at me and said, jokingly, 'To hell. Want to come along?' ... I was shocked and so upset and confused. I thought, now why would he go to Hell, and why would he ask me to go? It confused me and I never forgot... it imprinted on me in the most peculiar way... Lol!”
The Young Man: - Yes!!! Emotional associations can be completely random. Purely triggered by happenstance. Most cool L.
Yes, lol.
But those can be dealt with, be defused. Just recruit Patient Attention to the various components of such imprints. Once there's a connection to the deep logic, there's change when that logic is seen for what it is. But this has to be done "Inside" the event as it were.
Mostly it's really just a very basic process of spelling out in boring and self-obvious detail each step of the original assumption. We know internally what it's all about, but those internal thoughts about the issue have to be expressed out loud to make them real and see the false logic. Often the barrier is just something as trivial as feeling silly about it. So the *Precise* silliness of it is actually a way to dispel the misbelief. :)
But lol - amazes me the things people say.
L: - “Yeah, just had a good silly laugh... I tend to be more of a feel it out rather than "logic it out" type... as soon as I try to spell out the A B C of it, my mind seems to go to mush!”
The Young Man: - But you do it well nonetheless.
L: - “Well, yeah ... I am a Virgo, after all... so... analysis comes somewhat natural on certain levels...”
The Young Man: - That mush is the body resisting change. Lol, the Bureaucrats of the Self resist change any way they can, even if it's good for them. They're deathly afraid of *ANY* change.
Once we realise it's that Bureau of Change-Resistance who's the culprit, then we can power through it. Becomes easier and easier. The key is of course to do it unemotionally.
That's the tool they use to keep us in line, our feelings and emotions.
It's why Sobriety is so paramount. and why being able to not let those feelings affect us is one of the key parts of Impeccability.
L: - “It's like when ___ and I used to argue about stuff, which rarely happens anymore... but when it did, I could not remember any details at all like two minutes later... just the emotion of it... .none of the words or points either we were trying to make... where he would remember every detail, me, none of them...”
The Young Man: - Yes!! That 's exactly what I'm talking about. When emotion seizes us logic and sensibility go out the window. So one just has to practice setting feelings aside.
"How I feel does not have to be connected to how I think."
L: - “Such a balance ... between 'control' and 'detachment...'”
The Young Man: - Controlled Abandon, yeah. For me what's helped is to develop the Power of Pause. That's all we need sometimes.
And of course the best technique of all is the Anticipation-Mindset. Where we get into the habit of looking ahead for a few seconds. We see stuff coming and have a bit of time to prepare. Makes all the difference.
We can then "set" ourselves. And that's huge. We aren't sucked into an Immersion.
L: - “How is anticipating different from 'steering' or are they the same do you think?”
The Young Man: - Oh, not connected in the least.
An example....
Walking to the car...
Usually for most people they walk to the car, get to the door, *Then* take out their keys.
With an Anticipation-Mindset we're looking ahead and of course know we are going to the car, so we can take out our keys while we walk.
L: - “OK so, 'be prepared.'”
The Young Man: - Simple example but makes a big difference. Not only are we more efficient but of course if there's something amiss near the car or whatever, we're looking up, looking ahead, we're open, and we can Extrapolate.
It's more than being prepared, but that's a part of it.
Being prepared is a consequence of the Anticipation-Mindset. One of them. It's mainly just about having more time. If we are always reacting reacting reacting we have little time to *Choose* our responses. We react usually with whatever comes out.
And of course, in relationships that's not always the best if there's some emotional charge. But if we had a few moments within which to consider, we can be more prudent, more diplomatic, more Appropriate, in whatever way needed. We thus create the opportunity to choose a response, rather than just reacting with whatever comes up first.
So the Anticipation-Mindset is about Buying Time.
And that gives us *Choice.*
5/9, 1:05pm
Continued in Chapter 6 – The Magic of Context...
#TheYoungMan #DeterminingValidity #Awareness #BiellaSeries #Bookstagram #Anticipation #NotDoing ShiftingFocus #FindingCalm #PersonalPhilosophy
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Continued from Ch 5 Part 1: https://is.gd/KF8Iy6
5/9, 9:03am
L: - “Dream - more of a 'mind's eye' thing actually... I was awake! Starting to drift off to sleep, when in my mind's eye... I saw a figure... just the view their mid-section... I could see their belt... and their hands... on his right hand, a large 'male' figure, bulky male... on his right hand there was this very bright 'teal/emerald' ring... he started to move his hand slightly left to right to make the ring 'catch the light...' to 'catch my attention...' the message was clear to me... it was a control thing... like hypnotic...”
The Young Man: - That's excellent. What's the good to extract??
You were AWARE!!!!!!
You *know* about it now. You're Empowered!!!! Most excellent. You know to not be taken in. Awesome!!! YAY L!!!
L: - “That image seems to be 'dominating' my mind... having trouble shaking it off. Need to find a way, yet every other way is also another old way.
And the left side of my body feels 'different' than the right side.
Heavier... .cloudier.”
The Young Man: - Interesting.
So you need a way to push them away. To disconnect. Yes?
L: - “I'm aware, lots... usually the symbols I see are soothing, kind, gentle... 'hearts, bursts of loving light etc.'
This was unusual... and not unsurprising when one considers recent conversations on the ECP incident, and the 'shadow stuff...'
It's likely just 'mind' ... 'mind' putting images to Fear... mind making up story. Apparently I have a very creative mind lol. ~
Typically, I would 'call for protection"'in a situation like this.
So instead... I will 'know' everything is OK.”
The Young Man: - Ah and yes, there's a but...
L: - “This is about Power. This is about my Power.”
The Young Man: - Trust now. Trust that the U will show a new way. Shift your Trust there I would say. And just be open to a *NEW* solution coming from the Universe, from yourself.
"A Warrior is impeccable when they Trust their Personal Power, no matter how small it may be."
L: - “Now I can relate to "Warrior" analogies... lol...
haha
teehee.”
The Young Man: - Haha - It always Depends...
<3
Yeah, has its Value.
L: - “Yeah, just as I said that, I had a feeling that it's, 'time to stop fighting.'
Stop fighting ... that's significant!”
The Young Man: - We'll get back to the Warrior Perspective in terms of the story. We were on it. It's that start of the larger story, and we're making a big big detour which will connect back to the Warrior Aspect of it all again. And how things developed from there. :)
L: - “Just Breathe.
Just Breathe in the Light.”
The Young Man: - 'Breathe in Smiles of Power.'
L: - “Don't 'Do' anything.”
The Young Man: - Yeah. :) :) 'Not-Doing.'
One of the techniques for Erasing Personal History.
Along with Gazing and the Gait of Power. :)
L: - “Gazing? Oh boy... hopefully not into eyes. (lol)
tee hee.”
The Young Man: - Lol, no - gazing into eyes, specifically not recommended. Takes lots and lots of Power.
L: - “Just joking.”
The Young Man: - Gazing is a Not-Doing. Gazing in the Not-Spaces.
Yeah, but a cool intuitive joke. Value in it.
L: - “Oh I do that all the time, a little differently perhaps... big thing for me, the not-space... the space between things.”
The Young Man: - That Gazing is just letting *Not* come into being. To connect to *not* as a way of disconnecting from a doing. Like your dream-focus atm is a *Doing*
L: - “Lots going on there...”
The Young Man: - Yes!!!! This: L: "...big thing for me the not-space ... the space between things."
L: - “Right... mindlessness.”
The Young Man: - What I was trying to say!!! :) :)
L: - “?
I'm fascinated by it...”
The Young Man: - Well yes and no. We don't want to create a vacuum. Nature abhors a vacuum and will seek to fill it in some way.
L: - “Observation.”
The Young Man: - Ha, just meant we said the same regarding Gazing.
L: - “Got it.”
The Young Man: - It's a focus on the non-specific. So it's a specific disconnecting from what's specific. :) :)
L: - “Yes... that to me really is the essence of 'mediation.'
Meditation. :) ”
“Non-specific observation.”
The Young Man: - Yes. Connecting to the Unknown also. :)
"When the known is a problem, the solution can only be in the Unknown."
L: - “That's the only way ... to 'touch' the 'unknown...' to observe openly.”
The Young Man: - YES!!!!!!!!!
L: “Nice ! I like that one... ROS?`”
The Young Man: - To observe openly yes. :)
Not a ROS no. For a Rule of Sentience it'll have to be tightened. Makes sense now in context, but a ROS has to be able to completely stand on its own without any context at all.
But would be fun to refine into a Rule. Maybe a good exercise atm by way of Focus Shifting.
L: - “Force of Circumstance.”
The Young Man: - YES!!!!!!!!!!
That's the Power of Attunement via Alignment!!!!!
L: - “What if your language is just another 'trap' for me? It's your philosophy... not mine... even though it makes sense... by focusing on it, by 'relying' on it in any way - in another matrix!”
The Young Man: - Force-of-Circumstance is the wave, surfing the Alignment. FoC is the wind, sailing is the Alignment. Circumstance, Anomalies, happenings, pressure, all Force-of-Circumstance.
Yeah could be indeed. Why Discrimination, Discernment, figuring-it-out, making-it-your-own are so imperative. Because *ALL* language is not our own.
So to make it one's own we have to go to the Root Conception, the foundations, and then go from there. Doesn't matter if it's someone else's structure or not. I don't have to build the house myself to live in it and use it. But I do have to check out its soundness for myself.
L: - “That's how you do it... lol... for me, just doesn't compute!”
The Young Man: - And now lol, you know why I so so so balked at your student-teacher comments. That relationship can only be with the U.
That's to me where at times like this one has to focus. You are experiencing a most most most valid doubt. The doubt of Determining Validity. And ultimately, my me, my I, myself, my local me, is way inadequate for Determining Validity. My Personal Judgement is *Always* suspect. That's why I changed my life, as in the Gift-of-Intent, (GoI) for the exact reasons you are now experiencing.
Because *I,* *Cannot,* with any certainty, be sure of Determinations-of-Validity. The *Only* way I can be sure of Validity is when it comes from the Universe!!! (Or my Subconscious really, greater-self, whatever. Just a term here.)
Lol - it actually does for you. You're doing that exact thing now. You are going to the root of the issue, which is Determining Validity.
L: - “So... continue with the YYM story NOW, since it's all related to this... most perfect don't you think?”
The Young Man: - So... this connects to that potential ROS:
"When the known is a problem, the solution can only be in the Unknown."
It's much more intimately connected to this exact moment now.
L: - “OK, you go...”
The Young Man: - It's simply a Perspective Issue. I see you doing what I'm talking about, but the description doesn't connect and resonate with you.
That's exactly why for each ROS there are the Alternate Variations. Because almost always when we say the exact same thing, but in other ways, it connects at some point if it didn't connect before.
Even if one specific alternative way of saying doesn't resonate, the accumulation of all the various ways of expressing the same point builds up, and allows for comprehension.
It's an awesome mechanism.
So....
So how many different ways can you say this:
"That's the only way ... to "touch" the "unknown" ... to observe openly"
L: - “Yeah, good question... must work now though.”
The Young Man: - Kk laters - let it rumble around inside. :)
L: - “Are you writing?”
The Young Man: - Ah not atm - I have an unfinished part sitting here. But it's a cue for me when I resume - A placeholder.
Bah sorry. I guess you seeing dancing dots. I'm commenting from a second window.
I'll save that unfinished comment for later, when I resume.
There ya go. Sry.
“Stuff happens to get in the way, but Patience rules the day.” :)
L: - “Haha... np...”
The Young Man: - :) <3 How things coming for you now?
L: - “Feeling better ... doing nothing helped. :) ”
The Young Man: - GOOD!!!! Yay <3
...
L: - “Yeah, learning to really just observe and not 'react' or analyse those things seems key... to be amused perhaps, or no emotion at all, instead of getting caught up in 'what did that mean?' ... nothing!”
The Young Man: - YES!!!!!! And always to look for some sort of Positive. That doesn't always mean Positive *Feeling.* Knowing what *NOT* to do is very Positive. So there's always something Positive. Something to learn. In this case maybe just something like learning to be able to be still and not stress when encountering such things. I think that's huge. To be able to regulate our feelings towards “stuff.”
Much of predation is activated or triggered by victims behaving like victims. When they don't, it can completely nullify predatory instincts and behaviours.
L: - “It is huge... on many levels... it's huge to not react as that's what causes those 'ptsd' moments to imprint in our muscles and tissues etc. It could be nothing at all, yet if in our unawareness, we 'react' to it... then all of a sudden now it's 'something,' and that something can stick with us for decades!!!!”
“Like the time when I was maybe eight or so, when I asked my uncle next door where he was going as he was walking, and he looked at me and said, jokingly, 'To hell. Want to come along?' ... I was shocked and so upset and confused. I thought, now why would he go to Hell, and why would he ask me to go? It confused me and I never forgot... it imprinted on me in the most peculiar way... Lol!”
The Young Man: - Yes!!! Emotional associations can be completely random. Purely triggered by happenstance. Most cool L.
Yes, lol.
But those can be dealt with, be defused. Just recruit Patient Attention to the various components of such imprints. Once there's a connection to the deep logic, there's change when that logic is seen for what it is. But this has to be done "Inside" the event as it were.
Mostly it's really just a very basic process of spelling out in boring and self-obvious detail each step of the original assumption. We know internally what it's all about, but those internal thoughts about the issue have to be expressed out loud to make them real and see the false logic. Often the barrier is just something as trivial as feeling silly about it. So the *Precise* silliness of it is actually a way to dispel the misbelief. :)
But lol - amazes me the things people say.
L: - “Yeah, just had a good silly laugh... I tend to be more of a feel it out rather than "logic it out" type... as soon as I try to spell out the A B C of it, my mind seems to go to mush!”
The Young Man: - But you do it well nonetheless.
L: - “Well, yeah ... I am a Virgo, after all... so... analysis comes somewhat natural on certain levels...”
The Young Man: - That mush is the body resisting change. Lol, the Bureaucrats of the Self resist change any way they can, even if it's good for them. They're deathly afraid of *ANY* change.
Once we realise it's that Bureau of Change-Resistance who's the culprit, then we can power through it. Becomes easier and easier. The key is of course to do it unemotionally.
That's the tool they use to keep us in line, our feelings and emotions.
It's why Sobriety is so paramount. and why being able to not let those feelings affect us is one of the key parts of Impeccability.
L: - “It's like when ___ and I used to argue about stuff, which rarely happens anymore... but when it did, I could not remember any details at all like two minutes later... just the emotion of it... .none of the words or points either we were trying to make... where he would remember every detail, me, none of them...”
The Young Man: - Yes!! That 's exactly what I'm talking about. When emotion seizes us logic and sensibility go out the window. So one just has to practice setting feelings aside.
"How I feel does not have to be connected to how I think."
L: - “Such a balance ... between 'control' and 'detachment...'”
The Young Man: - Controlled Abandon, yeah. For me what's helped is to develop the Power of Pause. That's all we need sometimes.
And of course the best technique of all is the Anticipation-Mindset. Where we get into the habit of looking ahead for a few seconds. We see stuff coming and have a bit of time to prepare. Makes all the difference.
We can then "set" ourselves. And that's huge. We aren't sucked into an Immersion.
L: - “How is anticipating different from 'steering' or are they the same do you think?”
The Young Man: - Oh, not connected in the least.
An example....
Walking to the car...
Usually for most people they walk to the car, get to the door, *Then* take out their keys.
With an Anticipation-Mindset we're looking ahead and of course know we are going to the car, so we can take out our keys while we walk.
L: - “OK so, 'be prepared.'”
The Young Man: - Simple example but makes a big difference. Not only are we more efficient but of course if there's something amiss near the car or whatever, we're looking up, looking ahead, we're open, and we can Extrapolate.
It's more than being prepared, but that's a part of it.
Being prepared is a consequence of the Anticipation-Mindset. One of them. It's mainly just about having more time. If we are always reacting reacting reacting we have little time to *Choose* our responses. We react usually with whatever comes out.
And of course, in relationships that's not always the best if there's some emotional charge. But if we had a few moments within which to consider, we can be more prudent, more diplomatic, more Appropriate, in whatever way needed. We thus create the opportunity to choose a response, rather than just reacting with whatever comes up first.
So the Anticipation-Mindset is about Buying Time.
And that gives us *Choice.*
5/9, 1:05pm
Continued in Chapter 6 – The Magic of Context...
#TheYoungMan #DeterminingValidity #Awareness #BiellaSeries #Bookstagram #Anticipation #NotDoing ShiftingFocus #FindingCalm #PersonalPhilosophy
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November 12, 2018
The Young Young Man's Story - Ch 5 Necessary Detours Part 1
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/nobelia/episodes/The-Young-Young-Mans-Story---Ch-5-Necessary-Detours-Part-1-e2iveu
Continued from Ch 4 Part 2: https://is.gd/JbgPbP
Waiting for the group to settle into the open yet secured comfort of the enclosed gazebo, Biella considered her Sharing of the Young Man. Outside, from every angle, a wild day sought to penetrate their cozy connectivity. “I'm telling a story of a story being told. My intent, our Intent, is to connect to the Young Man, to know him and his life. He strove to write via conversation, to actively Share through direct connection, especially if he felt invited and his efforts contributed to another in some way. He needed that justification of his actions, some leverage via Attunement to rationales of More. He could not Share himself simply for reasons which would solely be his own.”
“Where's the however?” Ursula pre-empted with a cheeky grin.
“Let me guess,” Nora extrapolated, “We're about to, possibly or potentially, side-step into Moreness.”
“Just so,” Biella maintained her Sober mood, “I've debated extensively on the inclusion of such additions to our Story we are telling of the Young Man. Do I interrupt his Sharing of the YYM's story, as he himself did, or do I exercise my edit perspective?”
“What do we not only want, but also desire?” Hrmumpt queried, implying a substantial differentiation.
“I want the continuation of the YYM Story,” Aki voted without commitment.
Ursula extended Aki and Hrmumpt, “I desire to *know* the Young Man, as well as his life.”
“Yes,” Biella nodded seriously. “We have a greater purpose, we wish to know all of him. *How* he told his story, the larger context of that how is hugely significant, revealing his deep underlying motivations, wants and desires, which, as we shall see, were not constrained by self-satisfactions or ambition, but by the Appropriateness of his Attunement. He would happily set aside, but not forget a direction, to attend the needs of the moment. His needs always were subservient, or, he would likely have said, he had long since ceased to feel personal need.”
“I feel Nora's however lurking closer, I too wish to uncover that implied but,” Caljun said.
“As long as you leave yours covered,” Marko teased, confusing Caljun momentarily as he connected figuratively, not a mindset he possessed.
“Haha, my arse is secure thanks.” Caljun had ensconced himself into a deep enveloping seating cocoon, leaving only his head, with rampant grin, exposed for interaction.
Ursula's keen desire to continue penetrated, “Material constraints?' she ventured intuitively, surprising the group and succeeding in marshalling needed Attention.
Biella paced briefly before explaining, “Indeed, the Young Man felt subtle pressure of material circumstance. His commitment to Attunement perpetually placed him on paths unconnected, seemingly, to financial remunerations. He was always happy to do and do, to assist and provide value completely without any reward. Recompense, or any reward for that matter, never a factor in his motivations. He felt he didn't really have any wants or desires which were purely personal, he simply acted according to Force-of-Circumstance, and how such pressures enacted his responses to life, as he definitely saw himself as constantly Responding.”
Biella paused briefly before coming to the now-emerging however, “But, his Awareness of the greater-picture also made him cognisant of larger projects he had been set upon, such as the Sharing of himself. He regarded telling his personal story as a mechanism for communicating his allness, his overall Way-of-Being, and all its constituent elements he had so assiduously constructed and brought together in his Cohesiveness-of-Perspective-and-Understanding. He felt he was being pressured to Share his Philosophy, even though he had compiled his detailed, extensive, and to him, complete, Structure-For-Living purely for his own ends.”
“Never, in all his efforts, did he have any thought of making his perceptions and Understandings public, much less doing so *for* others. A leftover from that early comprehension for the necessity of private and public-self. Not to mention the implied presumption he would have considered such a motivation. But, he had come to see Attunement pressures, and when combined with financial needs, reluctantly came to see how he was being steered to BE in ways which he had otherwise regarded as untenable. But, again, which he realised would extend him as a person, despite his gross reluctance to venture down such paths. A difficult reconciliation for him. His innate willingness to assist and contribute conflicting with his financial needs, the pursuit of which always conflicted with his Attunement. He always had to rely on Trust when it came to his material circumstances. A mystery to him. He felt, at that stage in his life, he was missing something when it came to leveraging himself financially. Somehow, he Understood, that connectivity would come from outside himself, he could only Share and Share, and continue to Trust outside, and others, would make the connections and provide the necessary requests which would take care of that peculiarly absent financial component in his life.” Biella left off, checking for comments before resuming their story.
Ursula self-clarified, “You're saying the Young Man thus made his efforts to finish his projects and to pursue digressions because of these various pressures-of-circumstance?”
“Yes, his entire Way-of-Being made asking for recompense a near impossibility, and I suspect few perceived or knew he was available to offer services they would have been glad to pay him for. An unusual situation. Let's observe how he dealt with external pressures which leveraged his Attunement, and the Way-of-Being he had worked so hard to acquire.”
“I wish I could have helped him,” Aki sighed, “Seems to me, and I'm reluctant to use the word he saw as so deleterious, but feels like he “should” have been in an environment where he did not have to be concerned with financial and material concerns. He seemed to always have way way more to get out than he had time for.”
“Just so Aki. I suspect we all feel this way. Let's continue... L rejoins the YM after he had resumed writing early that morning.”
5/9, 8:28am
L: - “…
Yay!”
The Young Man: - :) :) :) <3 <3
Still writing. I have two windows up so I can comment mid-paragraph. :)
L: - “Lol ... go, go~”
The Young Man: - :D :D
How are you L? <3
L: - “We can talk later... I will work, you will write. :) ”
The Young Man: - I hope I did not disrupt you yesterday. And hope I don't today. Yes cool, you work, I write. Just knowing you are there, connected on the gridwork and that you're likely to pop in occasionally is more than a Giant Gift for me. :) <3 <3
L: - “ :) <3
Just one thing ... and sorry to break your focus, really but... remind me again how to centre when there is a disturbance in the force?”
The Young Man: - Never ever do you disturb. You only *ADD* focus.
For me, I start through Immersion in what is Good and Positive. To Zoom out and see the Overview where I *know* it is ALL Good in the long run. I focus on Trust, Trusting in *Knowing* it's all good. Trusting it Makes Sense somehow, even though I cannot in that moment see how.
L: - “The things I have used all along in my spiritual life to zoom out and feel good, have faces and names... I feel so lost in trying to focus in a new way ... do you meditate?
Never mind... see I have only shifted my focus from 'their way' to 'your way!' UGH.”
The Young Man: - And also... Saying *Hello World* in that special way I do. It's a very specific reaching out to the World. An intimate connecting. In times like that I whisper my Hello. A profound reverential whisper. A whisper of Grace. A whisper of the most intimate connecting, A whisper of Embrace. A whisper of bringing all of the World's Love and Goodness deep deep into my Heart and Being. That *Hello World* is a merging with that energy. And, when one is intertwined thus with the World, as it's our True Lover, nothing can affect us, for we draw on the Power of the Goodness of the World for our spiritual nourishment.
L: - “Thanks ! :) OK, back to work for us both!”
The Young Man: - Yes! Develop *Your* way. The L Way. Doesn't matter if it's composed of elements of other paths, or even if someone else's entirely. As long as you fully make it your own, it becomes *your* power. That's the key. To fully explore, figure out, and examine every aspect of the possibilities and *only* adopt and incorporate once you're fully satisfied a Way-of-Being is now yours.
KK <3 I'm on an energy re-building pause atm, so all good.
L: - “Yes, that's your way... my mind doesn't work that way!”
The Young Man: - Which way do you mean?
L: - “'Examine every aspect of the possibilities and *only* adopt and incorporate once you're fully satisfied...'”
The Young Man: - Ah. How do you bring about new ways into yourself?
Most interesting. :) <3
But later if you want, np. <3
L: - “I've always looked to the writings of others and what felt "right."”
The Young Man: - Deep down it's the same thing. The deciding what's right is just the intuitive way of doing the same thing really.
But at some point *you* have to be the authority. In the end you are the final decider. :) <3
L: - “Right now I seem stuck with a vision in my head... something from dream. Scary.”
The Young Man: - Like this, to quote you L: "It's like, all the "schools of thought" out there... all the Storylines and "follow me" paths to awareness... ALL of them... ALL of them are traps!!!!! They are the traps of the World that continue to draw us in until we get it that we, and we alone, are the Path ... that only thru the U and our own awareness in the moment, can we find OUR path ...
If you follow anyone else, you'll just end up in their house.
They are ALL an endless merry-go-round... until we get it... that is their purpose, to show us the way... like all other karmic lessons... .but a bigger one... a huge one.
<3
This is the Lesson that UNPLUGS one from the "Matrix""
That's so excellent what you said L. :) Ah - on scary. Usually it's just a Perspective. Shift the Perspective and scary vanishes. What does an Energy Being have to be afraid of? Nothing.
Keen to hear about dream.
The easiest way to get rid of scary and return to centre is to *Resolve.* Be the Life-Detective.
Resolution is always a way to centre.
L: - “I will find a way through intent of the moment to shift perspective.”
The Young Man: - YES!!!!!! - Most Awesome. :) <3 So cool. :) <3
Leverage!!!!!!
L: - “Towards my work... wink, lol.”
The Young Man: - Whatever's at hand, whatever works. it's all just Appropriateness.
<3
5 9, 9:00am
Continued in Chapter 5 Part 2...
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November 10, 2018
The Young Young Man's Story - Ch 4 The Bathroom Incident Part 2
Continued from Ch 4 Part 1: https://is.gd/E2SBrQ
I cannot emphasise enough how subtle, complex, and sophisticated this Understanding and Awareness was at the time, involving so much I innately Understood. Such as the phoniness angle, how I could be Appropriately different in different situations and never be phoney or false. Always real and true. A big deal comprehension.
Also, the willingness to share my Individual self if ever anyone asked. I had a distinct awareness or view of doing so happily. More subtleties connected such as it all had to be Ethical, or “right' as I thought of it then. But right personally, according to me, to my sense of goodness. Not society right, personal individual deep inner rightness. And of course nothing at all to do with being correct or correctness or proper or anything like that. Definitely “right' to me then meant personal ethics, determined by me, and by me alone. But this was deeper and not forcefully so, as the rest was. The other outflows from that Awareness, from the incident, came to me at different times, depending on circumstance.
What resulted, was me taking all this fully to heart. No overt changes in behaviour and no-one would have noticed any difference. I continued with what I'd more or less been doing, but not specifically, not deliberately and consciously so. This now the Change. I was thus prevented from inadvertently behaving in ways I would not have thought about, and getting into trouble in some way due to simply not considering my behaviour relative to the situation. I shifted to becoming *strategically* Aware. All this new Understanding about Appropriate behaviour focused on, and was limited to, not getting into the wide variety of trouble always an ever-present threat in that social environment.
Every situation and all persons were potential sources of trouble. Quite incredible when I think of it now. Absolutely everyone could be, and often were, risks of severe physical pain and other horridness. Hidings for just about anything were frequent for the unaware. Bullying a constant threat. Once Aware of these potentialities, how did one not become strategically minded? To be unaware was a guaranteed hiding or other negative consequence. How could one allow such dire unpleasantness to happen? Threat-free situations were rare with others. One of the reasons I enjoyed being on my own throughout my childhood. When among others though. I was certainly not dominated by fear. I knew fear attracted trouble. I seldom felt it, just an Awareness of possibility, because when one was Aware of having taken adequate measures, what's to fear? Would be silly to fear then. My reasoning anyway. Others, I observed, seemed to feel worrying was useful, and would somehow help. Kinda a magical, superstition type thinking I thought. But I did understand they did so because they thought they “should,” if circumstances warranted. I saw even back then how conformity warped people's lives.
I also came to have a clear Understanding my individual-person was, I hesitate to say more important, because that's too strong, but maybe had more primacy. Even that, hmm, more the one which would be the driving force. Everything flowed out from private-self, not in from social-person.
My public side, while me, real and true me, was never really going to be engaging with ALL of me. Yes, that was the distinction, one of scope. The individual side would always be more complete. The possibility for being my individual-self in public or social settings at that time decidedly not a realistic possibility. One could get into severe ongoing almost permanent trouble for being distinctly different. I understood how one could be labelled a “problem child,” weirdo, or something similar. Such labels resulted in a doomed existence.
If I'd been asked then, or even a year or two later, what exactly the difference was between individual-self and social-self, I would have been hard-pressed to say exactly. But I was very very clear there was difference, and not and insignificant distinction either. I did know if individual-self would've said I had ideas and understandings about the folly so widespread in the society, my sharing of such a perception would've guaranteed trouble. Not just for me, but for those who'd know I thought about and perceived the silliness, especially the widespread inadvertent hypocrisy from conforming so constantly. They would not know how to deal with such an Awareness of them, as the entire farce relied on the myth of no-one supposedly knowing, especially not openly saying they knew.
Everyone did what they did mostly because of how it appeared to society. Sharing such knowing could not, from a kid, be tolerated, not even by any remote chance. No matter how correct or sensible one was as a child, it mattered not in the least, if one stepped outside accepted child behaviour, a hiding would result, regardless. Unreason and illogic were simply a fact of my existence right from the get-go, like the weather, not something complaining or stressing about would change, but a factor one had to deal with sensibly.
Sensibility, or “being sensible” was how I thought of Appropriateness as a boy. This Awareness of Appropriateness also comes up in connection with the post-light-bulb focus and Understanding of Awareness. Specifically how it was *not* part of society or anyone I knew. An astonishment for me, this absence of such a perspective or outlook on life. Somewhat of a mystery. After all, I had thought this Understanding was pretty obvious, once one became Aware of it. Surely couldn't just be me? I never felt I'd done anything special to come to this knowing, but how come it seemed no-one else did? Didn't make sense. My knowing had to be suppressed, for the sake of conformity. Made me sad if I went in that direction, which I didn't, once I knew where it led.
As I came to that Understanding about the Awareness-focus of others, after the Light-Bulb Exploded, the memory of the Appropriate Awareness Understanding from the Bathroom Incident came back to me. Its relevance became focused. I saw how, going forward, my individual-self was on a very different Path. My recent illuminating experiences from asking people about their ideas on Perfection brought into sharp Awareness the necessity and value of strategic Appropriateness, especially when it came to what I thought about, and was involved in. In terms of the focus of my individual self and what was sensible (Appropriate) in social and public circumstances. I also thought of Appropriate as strategic back then.
I knew the circumstances for sharing my new life-path were not present. I was okay with that, a Gift from the Bathroom Incident. I had the clear feeling and knowledge it was good either way. I could enjoy each Way-of-Being, both.
Being myself and "doing my own thing," while never a secret or a hidden activity, was joyful and satisfying. More than okay and fine to pursue on my own. I felt an excitement and powerful rightness to the Path going forward which was not connected to whether shared or not. That was incidental. If someone were to ask, I'd be happy to Share my personal-self.
I'm most thankful for having had that Understanding there in the bathroom. It's mysterious to me. A powerful influencing factor, as I have been more than happy being alone and doing my thing, and, when I have been able, to Share. Also, I am, and was, very happy on the social and public side of things. Never had any problems fitting in, being sociable, liked and so on. I was even relatively popular or one of the “main kids” as we called it back then. Although, “being popular” was not in our thinking. The focus was more on not being a “stuff up” and not being “weak” and thus an automatic victim. Not being at the bottom of the ever-present hierarchy thinking. Whether one subscribed to it or not.
There's more to this Appropriateness of Being Perspective, much more, in significant and powerful ways. But that's for another story. :)
The Path Of Awareness I had put myself on took on a life of its own. The developments and outflows from it were profound and deeply affecting. I became immersed in a deliberate program of extending and adding to myself in whatever ways I could figure out.
That specific deliberateness of figuring out and resolving, most profound and affecting. I developed the habit of deliberately and consciously “reaching out” with my thinking to look for, and create, new Aspects of Being I could learn and apply. I wasn't in an environment where I could glean these. I had to invent them. I had to take myself and my Personal Circumstance-of-Being and examine such in a pure abstract sense. I had to look for how exactly I could improve my Being relative to an absolute standard. Not relative to others. I was on a purely individual Path. Comparisons were simply unthinkable, inappropriate, and never ever a factor. I simply did what was important to me. That was it.
The absence of competitive comparisons of self one of the outflows from the Appropriateness Awareness Incident. It just was clear comparing was never relevant. Whatever I was in, whichever situation, was simply me being me. No more and no less. How could I compare? One could not when there's an Awareness of difference. Comparing an elephant to a house makes no sense. As I worked on exploring new ways to be, new attitudes to add, new perspectives to have, new moods to feel, Humility and Modesty became very strong and powerful allies. They became me. Powerfully so, as they gave me a freedom to be me in the individual, private, and also social circumstances.
In those first few years post light-bulb, I developed many many conceptions and Understandings which are the foundation of my A+ Philosophy. This was before the reading bug bit me. I did nothing but think and think and think all day and night. Figuring out, thinking through. Somewhat different. I wasn't content to simply think *about* something, I had to come to some conclusion, a resolution, a result. Something tangible and useful, an Understanding I could add to my Understanding-of-Self, the world, and how things worked. I wanted to be Aware of the underlying logic and reason to everything, so I could USE that knowing to change myself.
The thinking took on a few different forms; the creative part, a kind of a reaching out into the nothingness and gathering little bits, from those constructing something. Or simply coming from the other end. Deciding what I wanted to happen and then creating what I needed in order to achieve my goal. Also, the usual maximising of inspiration whenever it came. When one is immersed in something to that extent, the mind automatically notices and connects to what is relevant.
Then the Figuring-Things-Out aspect of the thinking, all about efficiency, effectiveness and Application. Mostly about clearing confusion of any kind. The drive and desire for Awareness most powerful. Still is. I could not, can not, leave something I don't Understand alone. I had to, have to, *Know.* This applied to everything. I was, am, insatiably curious, but especially applied to Abstract Concepts. As I had discovered, once I understood the Abstract of something, it led to being able to Understand all of its particular applications.
A huge discovery. All resulting from that singular Awareness and Understanding which was the Bathroom Incident.
I remember figuring out "how to abstract." So liberating and exciting at the time. That joy and profound value has stayed with me all my life. So huge, then and now. Knowing I had figured out Abstraction, that I now had the Ability to Abstract, filled me with a deep joy. Still does. But then, in that vacuum of innocence and naivete, was sublime. A treasure, a precious precious treasure. one with significant influence. The Ability to Abstract made an inordinate difference for me. A big big deal. Still is.
Continued in Chapter 5 - Necessary Detours...
#TheYoungMan #BiellaSeries #SelfDiscovery #Awareness #Appropriateness #SocialSelf #PrivateSelf #PersonalPhilosophy #BathroomIncident #AbstractUnderstanding
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Subscribe in a readerNovember 8, 2018
The Young Young Man's Story - Ch 4 The Bathroom Incident Part 1
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/nobelia/episodes/The-Young-Young-Mans-Story---Ch-4-The-Bathroom-Incident-Part-1-e2i491
Continued from Ch 3: https://is.gd/6D70sZ
Biella left off from her immersion into telling the Young Young Man's story for a moment and said, “The Young Man here switches to a different, temporary way of relating what had transpired. A mechanism he used in order to connect back to either a memory or a thread once he had lost connection. He knew moving from the Abstract to the particular would eventually draw him back in as needed.” Biella smiled fondly. She enjoyed the variations of style from the Young Man. “Let's continue with the story...”
5/9, 5:03am
The Young Man: - To get back to the Story...
We were last coming to another impactful incident, but to recap...
The story flowed out of a reading discussion and we were talking about Carlos' books and how I had pulled the Concepts of Values from my Great Reading Project and particularly from Carlos and how I had arranged those on a spreadsheet and sorted them by topic, category and concepts. You remarked, "Ah that's how it all started,” and I had to point out that was an *end,* not a start, and how it had really started the Day the Light-Bulb Exploded. There were some relevant incidents before that day also which were Shared.
I explained what had happened that day which set me on a Path with a Powerful Motivation toward *my* definition of Perfection which I had figured out to be:
"Perfection: the condition, from which, if one had the power to change anything at all, one would choose not to do so."
This led me to think about how exactly to get there, which led me to consider what I would need to improve in myself, which led to an analysis which culminated in an Understanding of the importance and necessity of expanding Awareness, and of Being Aware, all the time
The in-depth insight into Awareness led to an Understanding that for the society I was in at the time, expanding Awareness and making an effort specifically to be *more* Aware was simply not a deliberate focus. This connected to the relevance of telling you about another incident which happened on one of the earliest days of school, when I was six.
The town we lived in at the time, about five thousand inhabitants in the white part, had only one school, for all grades, representing an entire district and thus fairly large as schools went.
A predominantly Afrikaans speaking town with only a handful of English-speaking families such as ours. I only knew of one other family which had an English-speaking child my age. A residual animosity lingered between English and Afrikaans which occasionally found expression. Wasn't a particularly big deal, but children will sometimes find something to make an issue out of for no good reason, especially when looking for reasons to support some kind of superiority or distinctiveness. However, a potential threat and risk to be aware of and pay attention to.
The schooling only in Afrikaans due to the predominance. Which had the benefit of leading to bilingualism for me. But Afrikaans is not a language I enjoyed speaking, even less thinking in.
On that day at school, the one English-speaking boy my age, who strangely enough was not a friend, got into trouble. He had other siblings, but our families didn't know each other either. No particular reason. Except to mention those relationships were not influenced by language. I have only focused on the language issue because it comes into the incident. But minimal, yet something to keep in mind as a child.
The trouble was from a senior, he was bullying this boy in one of the bathrooms. Doing so for no other reason than the boy was "English." From a first grader's perspective, I remember, the senior practically an adult. I still remember my amazement that the senior would even bother to come and bully a child in first grade. (Called Sub-A then.) I thought it made the senior very foolish, and, childish. Made no sense whatsoever even within the bully logic.
He hadn't done very much to the other boy when another senior came along, one who was sort-of English speaking. He never spoke English that I ever heard, but somehow that was an idea for me. I don't also know from which family he could have been. But the school had large boarding school facilities for the many kids from farms.
The "English" senior told off the bully saving the other boy, and likely me. Kinda scolding the bully for being so ridiculous in the process. Not sure if he specifically said anything, but that's the impression I received from him, confirming mine, that it was absurd and idiotic. Even though I'd not been focused on by the bully yet, but had been a distinct probability. Interestingly enough my memory has no personal fear or stress in it at all. Only observation.
It's an interesting memory for me as it does not exactly correlate to its impact. The English senior told the other young boy and I to watch ourselves and be careful and not to be in the bathrooms alone. More like he said, “What are you doing here by yourselves, as English boys, and young boys, that's silly, you should know better.” Not in those words, but my read of that senior's meaning at the time. That was it and he left.
Now comes the curious part for me. I cannot remember specific details much, but that incident led to a direct Awareness, right there, still in that bathroom, of the keen necessity for the Strategic Consideration of Difference, as I'd now call it. It's difficult for me to precisely articulate the complexity and sophistication of the Awareness which came to me there in that bathroom. That's about as close as I have every come to a concise definition. There's so much to it all and on many layers. This Understanding had not come directly, many steps flashed by almost instantaneously, through implication. We were different, which was okay, but couldn't be so un-strategically. It's not what we *were,* which the senior admonished us about, but what we were *showing.*
I clearly came to Understand one's individual person and one's social person were two separate instances of oneself. Used differently. Also a very clear Understanding individual did *NOT* mean secret. Not at all. I have to Emphasize this strongly. I had understood from reading that senior, what we *showed,* in that particular circumstance, was the issue.
Individual-Person was simply what one liked personally, what's of interest, private thoughts and so on. Social-Person, how one was in public situations. I was keenly aware of this as a most most important distinction. The entire Understanding which flashed into me, was about being Appropriate. I did not know the word then, but I clearly understood the Concept. The Understanding was of how behaving according to one's individual person was not a good idea in public and most social situations. Decidedly *not* a good idea because it would get one into trouble and would be not-good.
I'm trying to formulate the wording as close as it would've been at the time, if I were to have explained my Understanding, the Awareness I was having. But those words would have been inadequate without the word Appropriate. What I would have described was exactly what Appropriateness is. That was the clear Understanding without the word specifically. It's most interesting and fascinating to me how one can have such a distinct, clear, and to me then, *acute,* Understanding of a concept without a specific word or phrase for it. A *Knowing* for me. I Understood precisely and also *knew.* I was Aware, fully, of what Appropriateness meant in this regard.
Another aspect to that Awareness infused me there in that bathroom, my individual side was *not* a secret. Simply something I was in my own time. If anyone were to ask about it, I'd be happy to share. A clear and distinctive part of the Appropriateness Awareness from the incident.
On the public side, I didn't have a specific feeling of needing to be in any particular or certain way. But there was a clear and certain knowledge that being individual could at times cause trouble. Again, it was very clear to not ever hide anything, but simply not to show what wasn't needed. This was very strong.
Also a clear Implication it was *not* about being false or fake or phony in any way. The public side was just that, a side. A true side. But simply a side which was shown because of the Sensibility involved. Not because it was "put on" in any way. Many ways existed to be true and real. None were fixed. It was whatever it was. The only requirements were to be Sensible about when to be in certain ways, and Understanding the Need to learn to be flexible and adaptable. A clear knowing that one's person was *Not* something which was fixed.
Continued in Ch 4 part 2...
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November 6, 2018
The Young Young Man's Story - Ch3 The Problems of Independence
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/nobelia/episodes/The-Young-Young-Mans-Story---Ch3-The-Problems-of-Independence-e2hrhn
Continued from Ch 2 Part 2: https://is.gd/5FnOjb
“This chapter is an extended digression,” Biella informs the Group. “But, it's handy backstory for the environment the YM grew up in. What's most interesting is how, later, he came to see much metaphor in this historical recounting. Also, he noted, to himself, his account of the history was based on his schooling, an account which at the time he had no reasons to doubt. He purposely related an un-updated account, sharing what had been his perspective at the time of the YYM.”
Nora grins, “Thoughtful of him.”
“Yes, however, as ever, be careful of inference and assumption, the usual, as usual, does not apply.”
5/8, 7:24pm
The Young Man: - Back to the next incident.
L: - “Listening...”
The Young Man: - This one happened on one of the first days of school. The town we lived in until age nine was very small. Right in the heart of nowhere. The town was mainly Afrikaans speaking, with literally only a handful of English speaking families. I only knew of one other family at the time which was English speaking who had kids. One slightly younger than me. Strangely enough our families weren't friends. I barely knew that boy.
L: - “Were your parents from Britain? Expats?”
The Young Man: - Friendliness between English and Afrikaans speaking kids was not always a given.
No - Both my parents' ancestry is South African. My father's side ancestry goes back to the very first white settlers to arrive in Southern Africa. Before even blacks came to be in that part of the continent. They were migrating in from the north at the time of what is now South Africa. Thus I have more South African ancestry than many black South Africans. :)
Both my parent's fathers for many generations were born in South African but both my grandmothers had been from England. Hence English as the home language. It had been so for a few generations.
L: - “Wow... That history, fascinating story.”
“
