Syl Sabastian's Blog, page 24

An Addiction to Self-Pity

Self-pity addicts are in a perpetual cycle of self-justification.The refusal to acknowledge their unawareness and the clinging and maintaining of that limited-perspective sense of self, the defence of it really, that's what they're continually doing. The question is why. If it is so much easier to simply acknowledge unawareness and then operate from that point, why not make the change?Because as I see it, there's an addiction to self-pity. To me, self-pity is the other side of the self-importance coin. But why? Why does this self-pity make a difference? I always ask, "Where's the payoff?"The payoff for self-pity is the connection to specialness. Those like this, hang on to self-pity because it makes them special in some way. The belief that the world doesn't want them and they have to fight extra hard for everything, makes them a very very special case indeed. So they want to believe, and have others believe about them.
There's more. They've always been aware of their general incompetence, as they see it, by completely their own standards, in actuality, objectively, they are competent and successful and function way more than adequately in life in general, and, even in the specific. But the internal perception is one of incompetence. This constant comparing of themselves to that flying unicorn is of course an absurd comparison.But, there's a payoff,  - the odds are completely stacked against them as a result of the world not wanting them and them having to do everything for themselves by themselves against the entire world, well then, of course if they do screw up, it is completely justified, "If only you knew the odds against me..." A martyr syndrome. The payoff is that "specialness." This entire scheme makes them special in an extraordinary way, in their minds only of course. The refusal to give up that specialness is the root of the issue.
This entire constructed belief system is all to justify their lack of "success." They need some excuse as to why they are not the champion of the world, what they believe they "should" be. This belief, this sad obsession with the need to be "better" than everyone else, relatively only, is at the heart of the matter. A conditioned societal belief taken to extremes. Ego run rampant but unable to support its fantasies, so, a substantiation is needed. Excuses, reasons. "If only I had..."
Sadly, the understanding that they just need be Good to be good, is missing. Sadly, comparison rules their lives, and the awareness and conception of *Celebrating* Difference instead of hating it, is woefully absent. Even more sad is the incredible waste of energy geared to eking out a miserable apparent happiness when that same energy spent on simple self-acceptance that we all are enough and also More, would result in more than sufficient happiness.

#SelfPity #Specialness #MartyrSyndrome #SelfJustification #ComparativeMindset #GoodIsEnough

Feeling we Believe

 The More to this is we tend to believe our beliefs result in our feelings. Or we feel how we feel because of what we believe. But, it's also the opposite. We believe what we believe because of how we feel. We believe what we believe because of how we feel.

And because of how we come to feel, which creates or adopts the beliefs to justify and support how we feel, that original feeling, can come about for not much reason at all. But, once in place, that feeling, or belief, it works both ways, becomes self-reinforcing and self-justifying, as we add to the beliefs to support how we feel, because that *feeling* is the reality we now substantiate with our beliefs, and vice-versa.

But, depending on the day, and whatever factors influence and affect how we feel, we may feel entirely different, and just like that we now believe differently. Our reality is indeed fluid when it comes to perceptions related to feelings, beliefs taken on to support feelings.

Where it matters is entrenched feelings, deep habitual feelings which have deeply layered supporting beliefs which have become convincing, and thus keep supporting the feeling and keeping it in place. It's not a fact, never was, just self-reinforcing habit.
We tend to believe we need a reason to feel in any particular way. But we don't. We can *choose* how we feel at any given moment. Purely our choice. We can choose to feel how we *want* to feel purely as an Act-of-Will, and then make that chosen and desired feeling our habit and default, through another longer more sustained Act-of-Will.

Once we realise and are Aware of this relationship between feeling and belief, the world changes, and we become the ones to change our World.

Feeling and believing is not all there is to us. There's our Character. Once we understand our Character is its own entity and a scared inviolate core of us, we also Understand how feeling and believing are *outside* our Character.
What *is* inside? That's the real question of Self. The heart of the matter when it comes to our World. We use feel and believe in service of our Character, not the other way around. A mistake all to often made. But, realising how those two are created, enables us to avoid the pitfalls of a fragile and insubstantial character.


#DeliberateFeelings #DeliberateBeliefs #AwareRelationship #RealCharacter

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Handicapping Life

I was extremely fortunate in my youth. One of the towns I grew up in had one of the largest schools for the deaf, as well as one of the largest schools for the blind, in the southern hemisphere. Interaction with the deaf, and also the blind children was common. We played sports against the school for the deaf and interacted out of school with them and the children from the school for the blind in activities such as Sunday school and various extracurricular activities such as Eisteddfods, chess clubs etc.


I remember especially playing chess against David, a blind, deaf and dumb machinist who made baskets. He had already left school and was part of that excellent school for the blind's post-school employment program.

It was a profound experience for me. He had been taught to speak, which is astonishing in itself. He "heard" me by placing his palm and fingers along my jaw and his thumb on my lips. The chess pieces had pegs at the bottom of them with holes in the squares. Needless to say, touch is a move was not part of out matches.

He made me acutely aware of the fact that so called handicapped, is merely a perception, and led me to extrapolate that we are in fact all handicapped in one way or another. It's merely a matter of degree and Perspective. David had no self-pity, regret or any other negative attitude towards his "handicap." He was thrilled to be alive. Every time I see a bird flying or fish swimming, I'm reminded of one of my numerous handicaps.

But that interaction with my blind, deaf and dumb chess playing friend, made it abundantly clear that what we regard as handicaps are in no way limitations, merely challenges and alternate Ways-of-Being. None are inherently better than any others. Thank you David, wherever you may be, for these profoundly consequential Understandings. <3

Excerpted From: The Young Young Man's Story


#PerspectiveShifting #LifeHandicaps #CapitalUUnderstanding #Appreciation #JoysOfLife #BlindChess #TheYoungYoungMan
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FB Live: The More Deadly Virus than COVID-19 YOU are Spreading

A deeper Perspective on the COVID-19 situation and how we can Leverage our Understanding of it into More to make a difference in the World and to the World.




#Discernment #UnrelentingPositivity #VirusOfNegativity #DeliberateLiving #WayOfImpeccability #PersonalResponsibility #ChangingThe World #SocialConsciousness #COVID19
https://www.nobelia.org/the-way-of-im...


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Post Intent Process

Removing blockages from our Intents is absolutely vital. Any thoughts of not are such a blockage. What we thus need is Unrelenting-Positivity, which is the *celebration* and enjoyment of every moment of our lives. Living Impeccably thus, because, Joy is an Impeccable Choice. We make no space for doubt, and simply *ACCEPT,* as an inevitability, that what we want, what is right for us, WILL come. Simple as that.


We go into our decision as to what we want with full thoroughness, thinking it through TO THE END! In this process, we can doubt, we deliberate, we perhaps agonise, worry, stress and do all of our shenanigans of deciding. BUT, once we decide, we go on our way free of all of that, knowing our decision is Impeccable, and thus right for us, for ourselves.

Unless something substantially changes, there's no more to do, except ENJOY Living and thus Create Space for what's to come. ANY thought to the contrary is to deny our Impeccability, which is impossible if we HAVE been impeccable in the first place.

Here's where Capital T Trust comes in. We can ONLY Capital T Trust *because* that Trust is laid on a bedrock of Impeccability.  Once we've BEEN Impeccable, there's no more to be done. Except Trust, and ofc, enjoy being Patient. It's then we're At Peace with the World and ourselves, when we know we're Waiting, and what we're Waiting for.


#WayOfImpeccability #DeliberateLiving #CapitalTTrust #DeliberateDecisions
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Self-Healing and Patience

When we're not feeling well, we go to the doctor, get diagnosed. Then we know what's going on, get remedies, then we have to Apply them. We Apply, AND, then, we have to be *Patient* with the Healing Process!!! Knowing is first, then Application, then Patience for the Application to Apply itself and seep in and do its magic. The Application of Self-Healing has to have Patience as a component.

("Why they are called Patients!!" - Be Sidd)


#SelfHealing #CapitalPPatience #Patience #SelfAcceptance #CapitalPPersistence
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35 Ask Biella: - "Loving your neighbor as yourself is always the right thing to do, isn't it? So everyone wins! :) "

Podcast: https://Anchor.fm/Nobelia
"Loving your neighbor as yourself is always the right thing to do, isn't it? So everyone wins!  :) "Appropriate PerspectiveDear Janis, Yes, the sentiment is there. But I'd like to take that a little further. "Love thy neighbour as thy neighbour likes to be loved. Love thy neighbour for themselves."
Otherwise it's all too easy to fall into the trap of assumed similarity, and we miss out in Celebrating and appreciating Difference. Glorious Difference.


If I go somewhat deeper, especially since you asked and included, Always...

I have to say, no, it is not actually always the right thing to do. Sometimes it's the very worst. Sometimes we need *Appropriate Intolerance.* It seems like it can't be, but consider what happens when we love a narcissist like we love ourselves. That love, in ourselves, is based on a honest perspective, on the reality of our goodness, regardless of how sensible, capable or competent we may be in Applying our Goodness. Bottom line, our love for ourselves is based on integrity, honesty, and goodness.
Distorted PsychologyBut, this is not so for the narcissist. Their self-love is based entirely on fabrication, on a self-deceit and a complete lack of any integrity, Loving them only serves to confirm and entrench these distorted self-beliefs. Self-beliefs they know to be false, but which they push, hoping others will "buy" them. It is precisely this our love for them can exacerbate.

Thus, with narcissists, and similar, we have to love judiciously, love appropriately, love with discernment, awareness and understanding and we have to do more. We also have to practice Appropriate Intolerance. because our doing nothing is taken by the narcissist and similar psychologies as an *implied* agreement. They will distort, "if you not disagreeing that means you agreeing," to thus make us an unwilling accomplice, and worse, our inaction, of lack of specific Appropriate Intolerance makes us *Complicit* in their doings.

Overview Sensibility"Love without Awareness can be disastrous."
This is the underlying understanding for making sure our Love, like everything else, is Appropriate. When we zoom out, always useful when there is some doubt, we see that while many beliefs and conceptions, especially those that at first seem overwhelmingly obviously good, are in fact not always so. Yes, they are generally so, but not always. We have to stay open, and be aware those exceptions exist, because, while they may be exceptions, if not paid attention to and dealt with appropriately, can be extremely negatively consequential.

Also, sadly, and it tears deeply at my heart, but unfortunately it's all too common for trouble to come from *Inappropriate Application of Goodness.* It's a huge problem for many Good People. But, I also have a deep deep Love, Reverence and Connection-to-Grace for, and with, Earnest Goodness. It is this wonderment in Good People that always saves them and the world in the end.

Biella
Nobelia.org - Ask BiellaAsk Biella - Gateway Gazette#AskBiella #Awareness #EarnestGoodness #CelebrateDifference #DistortedPsychology #AppropriateIntolerance

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34 Ask Biella: - "How can you get as many different perspectives as possible?"

Podcast: https://Anchor.fm/NobeliaUsing Opposite

"How can you get as many different perspectives as possible?"Dear Dina, Starting with Opposite is a great way to acquire different Perspectives. But, it's starting with opposite, not merely taking the opposite perspective. If we use opposite as a starting point it greatly helps because from there, our view of matters is fresh and new. not affected by habit and familiarity. This enables us to see what we otherwise might not because of a trained view that sees only what we want to see or what is most efficient for us to see. But, from an opposite perspective, especially if we move around a bit from that opposite, suddenly we have many new perspectives to choose from.








Opposite also comes in handy when taking on the perspectives of others, friends family etc, those you disagree with, weirdos even. because coming from somewhere near opposite affords us that openness, that freshness, to see more than we otherwise might. We can now take on perspectives that don't seem reasonable, logical, sensible and work from there. Letting go of assumptions is key. Working backwards from the end helps tremendously for generating different perspectives. Same with shifting the mind internally in virtual space, changing angles, positions, letting go of truth and untruth temporarily, to connect to a larger truth through Perspective.

Opposite also comes in handy when taking on the perspectives of others, friends family etc, those you disagree with, weirdos even. because coming from somewhere near opposite affords us that openness, that freshness, to see more than we otherwise might. We can now take on perspectives that don't seem reasonable, logical, sensible and work from there. Letting go of assumptions is key. Working backwards from the end helps tremendously for generating different perspectives. Same with shifting the mind internally in virtual space, changing angles, positions, letting go of truth and untruth temporarily, to connect to a larger truth through Perspective.


Alien Angles
Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Imagine if you were an alien who just landed and had to experience the world without the benefits of any prior knowledge, Imagine everything being unfamiliar, imagine needing to ask why about everything. Even imagine alien footwear, how that might affect your perspectives standing in them.

Likewise, pretend to be a baby, a tall person, a short person, the dog, the cat, what would their view and perspective be... there are clues... tall people look down? Short people look up... some hover over, take up more space, are more visible, easily overlooked and neglected, etc. Dogs, cats, babies get looked after, their world-view would be different.

Take on the attitudes of these various others. Assume their opinions and beliefs. Those are massively affecting when it comes to perspectives. Just as are motivations, goals, and agendas. Again opposite is useful here. Taking on, temporarily, positions we would never actually hold, such as a those of a criminal, or a bullshitter, a narcissist maybe, an abuser, and also of victims. These are phenomenal for generating different perspectives, and with them, Awareness, Discernment, Understanding, and if we put those all together, a phenomenal Insight.

Exploring perspectives is exciting and allows one to understand those around us more fully and to live in the world more deeply. Have Fun!

BiellaNobelia.org - Ask BiellaAsk Biella - Gateway Gazette
#AskBiella #Awareness #Perspectives #Discernment #Understanding #UsingOpposite
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33 Ask Biella: - "Do you feel that Facebook adds genuinely positive things to your life? If so, what are they?"

Podcast: https://Anchor.fm/NobeliaThe Chronicles of Countenance"Do you feel that Facebook adds genuinely positive things to your life? If so, what are they?"

Dear Noel, Yes, most certainly. Plenty.  Just quick, off the top of my head: Perspective, connectivity, community, awareness, trends, patterns. Ability to be creative, to apply artistry. Application benefits via patience, tolerance, appreciation, enjoying the mundane, seeing the sublime in it. Etc. There's More... :) :D



Facebook for me is most decidedly impactful because it allows for Attunement; a window to the world, seeing what’s happening out there, what people are thinking, where they are at, their inventiveness, their quirkiness, their joy. Being privy to seeing new inventions that could, can and does have positive impact on the world. To connect and experience poetry, art, music, photography, dance, gardens, architecture, design, etc.. is so amazing. The exploration of the world through others' experiences is phenomenal - we get to explore ideas and see trends, patterns and the flow of the river of life in its mundanities and extra-ordinariness. That is such a boon and a blast.
Public FaceThe More... since you asked so specifically, I can only respond by coming from my particular Personal Perspective. First, the issue of Face, or Countenance. In the abstract, this represents our honour, our Integrity, the sum total of our character as a representation of the interface between us and others, and thus the public at large as well. Face is a big deal thus, hence the word interface. It's our connection to the world.

If Integrity is paramount, a huge deal, as it is to me, then Face takes on even more significance. Face has much subtlety to it. When we combine Integrity and Appropriateness, which are further Core Concepts to me, then Face takes on more significance. There's an Appropriateness to having a public Face, one which has differences to our private Face.

When we engage with a public Face, and we maintain Integrity, it means our public Face is not a false one, but a true and genuine representation. It might not be the totality of us, this we assume is taken for granted by most. It's phenomenally difficult to accurately communicate the totality of ourselves, especially if we love to learn and grow, if Change is a major part of who we are.

Thus our public Face is a particular challenge. It has to not be false, not be misleading, but also be Appropriate for what it is. As well as, most critically, not being limiting or over-defining, boxing us in and preventing change or causing problems when we inevitably do change.

Impeccable PostingHow does all this apply to Facebook, besides the name connection? When making posts, for me, I consider all of this. The symbolism of the name is something which I like to, and choose to, pay Attention to. When I make a post, there's a massive difference between making a public post and something I may say privately to a good friend. I can afford to be less than rigorous with a friend. They know me well enough to know what I say, can often be statements which I may believe at the time, but have not yet had time to think through and they won't hold me to those, unless they've checked with me.

However, when making a public post, and it does not matter in the least how many actually see the post, just the mere fact that even one person could, changes matters significantly. I take the responsibility of putting information, opinion, perspective, values, beliefs, and even speculation out into the world most seriously. Anything has the capability and capacity to affect others. Especially since I am acutely Aware of the contagiousness of negativity, a responsibility which impacts on my Ethics most seriously.

Thus my Face on Facebook is a big deal to me. It is one I have to fully be able to stand behind. But, I wish to answer your question, not just relate my personal philosophies. How does all this add Positivity to my life? It's massively Positive to me because of the Leverage it provides me. Because of those Perspectives of mine, because of my Integrity and Ethics, I cannot post in a way which is casual, I cannot make posts of any kind I'm not prepared to stand behind, which leverages my writing, my communications.

This applies particularly to me as I see Facebook as a publishing platform. As I do all social media. Indeed, from a legal perspective, whenever we post something, we are publishing. Knowing that when I post to Facebook, I am not only publishing, but I am making a representation of my Face has a profound effect on me. It makes me more diligent, more scrupulous, more thoughtful. It would be easy to assume it would thus also make me more cautious, more conservative because of being more careful. But actually, that is not so.

Because Facebook is so wonderfully diverse, and despite protestations to the contrary, Facebook is actually phenomenally tolerant of diversity. And I love Diversity, I celebrate diversity. This openness to diversity allows me to plumb the depths of the range of perspectives, beliefs and philosophies I hold, develop, have developed, and continue to explore and extend. I can put out there what needs work, what I would like feedback on, what I wish others would collaborate with me on. I can elicit commentary and discussion. All of this is phenomenally Positive.
Fine-Tuning IntentFacebook especially, because of it's connection to Face, thus leverages my Earnestness, both in what I post, and also by putting me into contact with Earnestness. Earnestness is somewhat like catnip, in that it has a profound effect on me. Earnest questions in particular do something to me, causing something to happen inside which then connects me to so much more than I would otherwise have access to. It's as if Earnestness just pulls responses from me.

A bit More... Taking all of the above, and putting it together in terms of looking at all of me when I post and interact on Facebook, I approach posting from a Stance of Earnest, sober, serious, thoughtful, joyful, Positivity. Or try to as much as I'm able. But there's a greater impact in play. All those Perspectives and Attitudes I bring to bear represent my Intent. This Intent with which I interact and post on Facebook is powerful to me.

In many ways, the most Positive of which is the refining of my Intent in general, the clarifying of my Intent, and the furtherance of my Awareness of what my Intent is. A powerful Positive addition to my life. Knowing our focus, our essence, our Resonance, knowing what's important, meaningful, being connected to Purpose, all of these are encapsulated in our Intent. The more Aligned we are with out Intent, the more Attuned to life we become. A massively Positive benefit.

Contagious PositivityJust like negativity, so too Positivity is contagious. Facebook actually is setup to increase that contagiousness, by spreading more of what we put out, what we like, what we connect with. Thus, if we are consistently Positive, interact with what is Positive, Facebook soon becomes overwhelmingly Positive. Those who experience Facebook negatively only have themselves to blame. In this respect, Facebook is much like life. It might seem artificial to some, but it's an impactful choice we can choose, especially if we consider Facebook as primarily entertainment.

There are plenty of other avenues for accessing the full range of what goes on in the world. I don't see Facebook as needing to be that avenue. Indeed it was not setup to be that. From the start, it was setup with a Positive Intent to be a Positive mechanism for connecting the world Positively. At least that is my understanding. Even if it is not entirely accurate, it's an understanding I like to hold, and will do so as long as it's tenable.

But above all, what makes Facebook especially Positive to me is the incredible range of options it presents. Always, in anything, whether we experience it Positively or negatively is up to us, but usually we don't have the ability to choose from so much. With Facebook we have that choice, and it's most incredibly Positive.
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#AskBiella #Awareness #Positivity #Attunement #Intent #Earnestness #PublicFace #PersonalLeverage

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32 Ask Biella: - "With all of the negative media, how do you stay optimistic about the future?"

Podcast: https://Anchor.fm/NobeliaExcess Breeds Excess"With all of the negative media, how do you stay optimistic about the future?"

Dear Michael, Some problems have been around for a long long time, since recorded history. Problems such as bullshit. A difficult problem to deal with through the ages. The public simply did not have easy access to the facts, or even readily available alternative opinions, perspectives or counter-arguments. Bullshit had to be determined via gauging the truthfulness of the speaker. A difficult task. Accomplished liars and those willing to deceive without qualms could fairly easily mislead.

(Stay with me, I will get to answer your question directly, but first I have to lay some groundwork.)


What would have, or could have, been the remedy in olden times? There really isn't any. Mass education, mass dissemination of information, mass access to information, all of those were not realistic options. They persisted to be ideals, and in the last century with access to libraries and free public schooling, much of that ideal was realised. But it still wasn't enough to deal with the covert cancer of bullshit.

With the coming of the internet age, and easy access for anyone with access it seemed the problem of bullshit would once and for all be banished. but that has not happened. Why not?

A few reasons. One, the problem is not seen as a pressing problem. Bullshit is a word we are not even really allowed to use in polite society, we have to say BS, with the implication that it's not really a big deal. How often don't we hear, "Oh, it's just bullshit," said with an indulging smile? By implication, "It's nothing serious."

Another major problem is the entrenchment of opinion and attitude aggravated by clinging to mis-beliefs because of the utter bullshit of not wanting to be seen as having been "wrong."

So bullshit persists. However, the growing negativity is increasingly bringing our Attention to the common cause of all the negativity, which is bullshit. There's not yet a common Awareness of this common cause and root of all the rubbish and negativity, but that too will come. But, it needs a catalyst, it needs some emphasis, the problem of bullshit needs something to illustrate just how severe a problem it really is. Typically we only tend to wake up and take significant action when a problem moves from being a non-pressing problem to one we can no longer ignore.

Looking AheadIt's by looking to the future, and by extrapolating what is currently transpiring that I maintain my Positivity despite it all. When I look at how things are playing out, look with an Overview Perspective, look within the context of seeing how the current excessive negativity might be necessary, I cannot help but be Positive. That problem of bullshit is coming to the fore. Bullshit is a pressing problem that can no longer be ignored or not taken to be the extremely serious problem it is.

It might seem like we are in overwhelmingly negative times. But just look at what that negativity has led to, has caused to happen. The largest protest ever took place last year. Massive movements resulting in the rapid removal from office or position of power of those who have used their status to abuse. An increase in social consciousness an awareness that is unprecedented in history. The youth have become mobilised in ways they never have before, could have before, all because of the pressing problem of the mounting negativity and problems. We need that pressure to be motivated to take action. Without action, it's all meaningless.

But, to get a large mass to move, and it's a large mass that is needed to change the entrenchments of societies, we need significant pressure. That's the Overview Perspective logic to the current negativity. Yes, it is negative, but it's necessary. The negativity has always been there. It's not really more negative now that at any time in history, there's merely more attention on the negativity, and that's a good thing. It will lead to significant change and the evolution of societal structures and interactions. That to me is most most Positive.
Systemic ChangeA bit More... Changing the specific problems is one thing. Yes, it's good, but it's much like treating the symptoms and not curing the disease. The patient may be pain-free and seemingly okay, but the disease is still there, continuing to cause a problem. Societies are much like this. To truly deal with the problems, we often have to change the underlying system. A particularly difficult problem as it needs massive support, support that typically only comes when matters are seen by most as extreme.

Long-term problems that have become entrenched typically need radical change to get rid of them. Radical change requires severity to galvanise the populace to act. Looking at the current state of affairs this understanding makes me exceedingly Positive. I foresee not only changes which will lead to solving specific problems, such as the changes which have come about when dealing with abuse by those in power. But more is needed, because the entire system still needs to shift to deal with the underlying causes that led to those abuses. That's what I see coming, large systemic change.

I fully see the kind of radical overhaul, that comes along rarely, happening as a result of all of this accumulated negativity that is so in the forefront of our Awareness. We have to deal with it, or be drowned by it. We can no longer continue to treat these problems as not really serious. We are too acutely aware, and that is massively Positive.

To stay Positive despite the negativity we just need to zoom out a bit and focus on the longer-term Goodness of it all. When we see that Goodness, see that longer-term Goodness, it shifts us to a Positive Perspective.
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#AskBiella #Awareness #Positivity #Purpose #SocialChange #OverviewPerspective #Goodness

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