Ivy Keating's Blog, page 3
May 7, 2021
Calm
We all have feelings of being stressed, overworked, or a whole host of negative conditions. It's often important to get to the source of these issues, but sometimes an in-between step of 'distraction' can be helpful.
There's a common saying, "Negotiate from a position of strength." This can apply to how we handle our mental health. Finding an activity to take our mind off what's fueling any extreme state can help restore calm and make us stronger.
For me, writing is a great distraction. It even works if I start at my laptop when I'm stressed or angry, because inevitably there's a character that imbues the same state. Now I have the benefit of drawing from a feeling I'm relating to. In 'Sarana and the Dark King', the Dark King is an evil character. I'll never reach his depravity, but I allow my emotions to give me a starting point.
A temporary distraction gives us time to gain perspective. Once back in a calmer state, it may feel like we gain that "position of strength" that helps us work things out.
Next time you find yourself overwhelmed, overstressed, or any negative over-the-top feeling, find something to distract yourself for a little while. You won't forget about the difficulty, but you'll be in a stronger place to handle it.
There's a common saying, "Negotiate from a position of strength." This can apply to how we handle our mental health. Finding an activity to take our mind off what's fueling any extreme state can help restore calm and make us stronger.
For me, writing is a great distraction. It even works if I start at my laptop when I'm stressed or angry, because inevitably there's a character that imbues the same state. Now I have the benefit of drawing from a feeling I'm relating to. In 'Sarana and the Dark King', the Dark King is an evil character. I'll never reach his depravity, but I allow my emotions to give me a starting point.
A temporary distraction gives us time to gain perspective. Once back in a calmer state, it may feel like we gain that "position of strength" that helps us work things out.
Next time you find yourself overwhelmed, overstressed, or any negative over-the-top feeling, find something to distract yourself for a little while. You won't forget about the difficulty, but you'll be in a stronger place to handle it.
April 13, 2021
Two Minds
There are therapeutic references to people having both an emotional mind and a rational mind. The emotional mind is driven by feelings, and the rational mind acts on facts. What frame of mind is the best for reaching our goals? In many pursuits, such as writing a novel, I believe that in the beginning our emotional mind, the one driven by passion, dominates. However, the rational mind is inevitably needed to succeed.
Our logical mind may question if we have the level of expertise necessary to pursue our dreams, but it's often the emotional mind that stops us from achieving them.
I've had several people ask me, "how do you write a book?" When I ask what type of advice they're looking for, they say they had a story but didn't know where to start. My suggestion is always to write out the entire story. Let your passion drive you, and tell your best tale. When you're finished, research the writing have-tos. These are the things publishers and agents will insist on. They include such things as excellent grammar, more showing than telling, watching for point-of-view switches, and not repeating words. (At least, these were some of the big ones for me.) Basically, focus on embracing your desire and learning from your research; you need to engage both your emotional and rational mind.
I've seen new writers abandon their work because they get lost in the process. Every lofty goal has the potential to overwhelm us. Before you give up on a dream, ask yourself if it's your emotions or your rational mind pushing you to stop. Combat negative feelings such as fear and anxiety with research on what behaviors are needed to achieve success. This relatively simple trick, of changing feelings to measurable actions, may put you back on track.
Our emotional mind may spark our desire, but our rational mind can help us stay the course. Let your "two minds" work together to help you reach your goals!
Our logical mind may question if we have the level of expertise necessary to pursue our dreams, but it's often the emotional mind that stops us from achieving them.
I've had several people ask me, "how do you write a book?" When I ask what type of advice they're looking for, they say they had a story but didn't know where to start. My suggestion is always to write out the entire story. Let your passion drive you, and tell your best tale. When you're finished, research the writing have-tos. These are the things publishers and agents will insist on. They include such things as excellent grammar, more showing than telling, watching for point-of-view switches, and not repeating words. (At least, these were some of the big ones for me.) Basically, focus on embracing your desire and learning from your research; you need to engage both your emotional and rational mind.
I've seen new writers abandon their work because they get lost in the process. Every lofty goal has the potential to overwhelm us. Before you give up on a dream, ask yourself if it's your emotions or your rational mind pushing you to stop. Combat negative feelings such as fear and anxiety with research on what behaviors are needed to achieve success. This relatively simple trick, of changing feelings to measurable actions, may put you back on track.
Our emotional mind may spark our desire, but our rational mind can help us stay the course. Let your "two minds" work together to help you reach your goals!
March 31, 2021
Healthy Thoughts
Working as a therapist, I had the opportunity to create a group session on coping strategies. It struck me that there are at least 2 'thinking mistakes' I regularly engage in. They are: 1) overgeneralization and 2) mind reading.
Correcting these harmful ways of processing information helps me feel better, and in this blog I will share a great coping strategy for 'thinking mistakes.'
Overgeneralization is when you hear something negative and run with it. For example, before I received a contract for my first novel, I would send out query letters. If the book was rejected, sometimes I thought this novel will never get published. This all-or-nothing thinking made me feel anxious and stressed.
Mind reading is when you think you know what someone else is thinking. This type of negative thought creeps in when I want to ask a store manager if they'd like to carry my novel. I often assume if they don't call me back, they're not interested or they didn't like the story.
There are other 'thinking mistakes,' such as all-or-nothing thinking, disqualifying the positive, should statements, and more. Fortunately, there are positive thinking strategies we can learn to replace these negative ones.
The strategy I like best is called 'thought recording.' Basically one thinks or writes out the evidence for the negative thoughts and then thinks or writes out the evidence against it. Forced to think about alternatives makes me realize I can't possibly know what someone else is thinking, and in the case of 'overgeneralization,' one incident does not guarantee the same outcome every time.
On any given day, we are faced with a multitude of situations. How we think about something will affect our mood and behavior. If you find you overgeneralize, mind read, or process information in a way that causes stress, try 'thought recording.' It can help temper negative beliefs and let more comfortable feelings emerge.
Correcting these harmful ways of processing information helps me feel better, and in this blog I will share a great coping strategy for 'thinking mistakes.'
Overgeneralization is when you hear something negative and run with it. For example, before I received a contract for my first novel, I would send out query letters. If the book was rejected, sometimes I thought this novel will never get published. This all-or-nothing thinking made me feel anxious and stressed.
Mind reading is when you think you know what someone else is thinking. This type of negative thought creeps in when I want to ask a store manager if they'd like to carry my novel. I often assume if they don't call me back, they're not interested or they didn't like the story.
There are other 'thinking mistakes,' such as all-or-nothing thinking, disqualifying the positive, should statements, and more. Fortunately, there are positive thinking strategies we can learn to replace these negative ones.
The strategy I like best is called 'thought recording.' Basically one thinks or writes out the evidence for the negative thoughts and then thinks or writes out the evidence against it. Forced to think about alternatives makes me realize I can't possibly know what someone else is thinking, and in the case of 'overgeneralization,' one incident does not guarantee the same outcome every time.
On any given day, we are faced with a multitude of situations. How we think about something will affect our mood and behavior. If you find you overgeneralize, mind read, or process information in a way that causes stress, try 'thought recording.' It can help temper negative beliefs and let more comfortable feelings emerge.
March 12, 2021
No One has Time to Write a Book
Is it lack of time that stops us from reaching our goals? I had a reader ask me, "how do you find the time to write a book?" My first thought was, no one has time to write a book. This past month seemed busier than most. My days were full just when the line-edits and then the galley for 'Sarana and the Dark King' needed to be finalized. But, no matter how busy I was, nothing was going to stop me from working on the novel. So, if it's not time, then what does get in the way of goal attainment?
When there doesn't seem to be enough time to work on your goals, here are 3 things to think about to get you on track.
First - be honest with yourself. Do you really want to do the activity you say you have no time for? In the example of writing a book, do you want to subject your story to scrutiny, relentless editing, and adherence to industry standards?
If you thought through the details of what it will take to reach your goal, and you still want to attain it, the next step is to think about when during the day you could find 20 to 30 minutes. I use this as a rough estimate of daily time needed. I believe that no matter how busy you are, this amount of time can always be found, so it's a good place to start. I am a slow reader and editor. It takes me a lot of time to make any changes, and there's often strict deadlines. Late nights, less sleep, whatever can be shuffled may have to be. The point is, it's not finding the time but committing to it.
Finally, it's brave to take on a challenge. Any change, good or bad, has potential to be stressful. Work from a position of strength. Take care of yourself in general. When we feel strong, it's easier to embark on something new and have the stamina to complete it.
We are all capable of reaching our goals. Know the activities necessary and be certain you want to do all of them, commit to the time it takes, and check if you're up for a new challenge. Don't let time constraints stand in your way. No one has time to write a book - but many have done it, and you can too.
When there doesn't seem to be enough time to work on your goals, here are 3 things to think about to get you on track.
First - be honest with yourself. Do you really want to do the activity you say you have no time for? In the example of writing a book, do you want to subject your story to scrutiny, relentless editing, and adherence to industry standards?
If you thought through the details of what it will take to reach your goal, and you still want to attain it, the next step is to think about when during the day you could find 20 to 30 minutes. I use this as a rough estimate of daily time needed. I believe that no matter how busy you are, this amount of time can always be found, so it's a good place to start. I am a slow reader and editor. It takes me a lot of time to make any changes, and there's often strict deadlines. Late nights, less sleep, whatever can be shuffled may have to be. The point is, it's not finding the time but committing to it.
Finally, it's brave to take on a challenge. Any change, good or bad, has potential to be stressful. Work from a position of strength. Take care of yourself in general. When we feel strong, it's easier to embark on something new and have the stamina to complete it.
We are all capable of reaching our goals. Know the activities necessary and be certain you want to do all of them, commit to the time it takes, and check if you're up for a new challenge. Don't let time constraints stand in your way. No one has time to write a book - but many have done it, and you can too.
February 23, 2021
Comfort Zone
As part of the promotion package for my second novel. my publisher requires us to create an "About the Author" paragraph.
The problem is, I find it hard to write about myself. To finish the task, it helped to keep the following things in mind, and I find them useful whenever faced with something difficult:
First, it benefited me to acknowledge that I felt uncomfortable. One might think giving something 'negative' attention keeps you stuck in the problem, but the opposite is true. By validating my feelings, I stopped fighting my thoughts of how difficult the task is. It was like I no longer had to be heard–– I was heard–– and now I could move on.
When faced with a tough situation, after acknowledging you're having difficulty, start the task knowing that it's important to be true to yourself. Everyone has a unique way of expressing things, and this difference is often interesting. My essay may not give information about my family or my favorite books to read, but it will sound authentic.
My last bit of advice, when doing something outside your comfort zone, is to be open to criticism. Listening to someone else's opinion does not mean you have to do what they say. But, if you keep an open mind, they may have some wise words about how to improve what you've done. My editor told me, I really should add something more personal. I put this in at the end, and I agree it improves the piece.
I'd like to share my "About the Author" paragraph below. All critiques are welcome. I'm always open to suggestions, especially when writing something out of my comfort zone.
A story can be born out of an image. This is where my stories begin. A site that intrigues me will hold my imagination. I enjoy writing Science Fiction and Fantasy. ‘Sarana and the Dark King’ was imagined from a mental picture of the Great Lakes. The proximity of these bodies of water and the land that surrounds them lend themselves to the formation of separate kingdoms— at least they do in my mind. My challenge as a writer is to take this intriguing setting and create a plot that is both clever and surprising. I enjoy creating characters with depth. I have a master’s degree in social work, and my education has taught me to analyze why people act the way they do. I’m also an animal lover. Books and movies with a man vs nature theme are my favorite. I’m not certain this qualifies, but I’m obsessed with “Grogu” (“Baby Yoda”).
The problem is, I find it hard to write about myself. To finish the task, it helped to keep the following things in mind, and I find them useful whenever faced with something difficult:
First, it benefited me to acknowledge that I felt uncomfortable. One might think giving something 'negative' attention keeps you stuck in the problem, but the opposite is true. By validating my feelings, I stopped fighting my thoughts of how difficult the task is. It was like I no longer had to be heard–– I was heard–– and now I could move on.
When faced with a tough situation, after acknowledging you're having difficulty, start the task knowing that it's important to be true to yourself. Everyone has a unique way of expressing things, and this difference is often interesting. My essay may not give information about my family or my favorite books to read, but it will sound authentic.
My last bit of advice, when doing something outside your comfort zone, is to be open to criticism. Listening to someone else's opinion does not mean you have to do what they say. But, if you keep an open mind, they may have some wise words about how to improve what you've done. My editor told me, I really should add something more personal. I put this in at the end, and I agree it improves the piece.
I'd like to share my "About the Author" paragraph below. All critiques are welcome. I'm always open to suggestions, especially when writing something out of my comfort zone.
A story can be born out of an image. This is where my stories begin. A site that intrigues me will hold my imagination. I enjoy writing Science Fiction and Fantasy. ‘Sarana and the Dark King’ was imagined from a mental picture of the Great Lakes. The proximity of these bodies of water and the land that surrounds them lend themselves to the formation of separate kingdoms— at least they do in my mind. My challenge as a writer is to take this intriguing setting and create a plot that is both clever and surprising. I enjoy creating characters with depth. I have a master’s degree in social work, and my education has taught me to analyze why people act the way they do. I’m also an animal lover. Books and movies with a man vs nature theme are my favorite. I’m not certain this qualifies, but I’m obsessed with “Grogu” (“Baby Yoda”).
February 9, 2021
Talking Heads
This blog is not about the cool music group from the 90's. It's actually about a no-no in writing. I used to wonder why parts of my story were zooming by. It turned out, I had a couple of passages with talking heads. This is when there's dialogue with no action.
I didn't recognize it as a problem at first because I thought it was an exciting read. One character said something–– right away the other responded–– then the first person commented–– and back and forth it went.
The problem is that it's limited. People rarely talk without moving, getting distracted, getting interrupted, taking a sip of a beverage, etc. If you write with only 'talking heads,' the reader will not get a true picture of the scene and it limits character development.
Here's an example:
"Hi hun, what are you doing?"
"Finishing up some work."
"Okay I'm going to watch TV.
"I'll join you soon."
Here's an example with actions added:
"Hi hun, what are you doing?" He took quick steps out of the kitchen toward the living room with a soda and bag of chips.
"Finishing up some work." She took a big breath and let it out, then slumped back in her seat in front of the computer.
"Okay, I'm going to watch TV." He stopped behind her chair and leaned over to give her a kiss on the back of her head.
"I'll join you soon." She smiled and moved her fingers back over the keys.
Actions give context to a scene and flushes out the characters. In the first example, you really don't get a feel for who these people are. In the second example, you can draw some assumptions about them.
If you're a writer, help the reader really get to know your characters. How they act is just as important as what they're saying. A well developed scene will have more than 'talking heads.'
I didn't recognize it as a problem at first because I thought it was an exciting read. One character said something–– right away the other responded–– then the first person commented–– and back and forth it went.
The problem is that it's limited. People rarely talk without moving, getting distracted, getting interrupted, taking a sip of a beverage, etc. If you write with only 'talking heads,' the reader will not get a true picture of the scene and it limits character development.
Here's an example:
"Hi hun, what are you doing?"
"Finishing up some work."
"Okay I'm going to watch TV.
"I'll join you soon."
Here's an example with actions added:
"Hi hun, what are you doing?" He took quick steps out of the kitchen toward the living room with a soda and bag of chips.
"Finishing up some work." She took a big breath and let it out, then slumped back in her seat in front of the computer.
"Okay, I'm going to watch TV." He stopped behind her chair and leaned over to give her a kiss on the back of her head.
"I'll join you soon." She smiled and moved her fingers back over the keys.
Actions give context to a scene and flushes out the characters. In the first example, you really don't get a feel for who these people are. In the second example, you can draw some assumptions about them.
If you're a writer, help the reader really get to know your characters. How they act is just as important as what they're saying. A well developed scene will have more than 'talking heads.'
January 21, 2021
Take a Breath
Acting on impulse is letting your emotions make decisions. While some choices have to be made faster than others, it's often beneficial to take a moment and steady our feelings before making decisions.
Here's an example; Today, the cover artist for 'Sarana and the Dark King' sent me a dozen potential designs. When I looked at the first few, I knew they weren't right. Sarana was too exposed. It was completely the wrong look for this female warrior. Immediately my impulse was "there's nothing here that's going to work". As I looked through the other photos, I was only seeing the faults.
I took a breath.
Scrolling through them a second and third time, I started to see the potential. One image of the woman was spot-on, and the font from another rendition was perfect. With a calm head, I could see she actually presented me with all the elements of a fantastic cover.
It's helpful to be in-tune with your emotions. If you're about to make a decision based on impulse, take a breath, think it over. You may discover something wonderful.
Here's an example; Today, the cover artist for 'Sarana and the Dark King' sent me a dozen potential designs. When I looked at the first few, I knew they weren't right. Sarana was too exposed. It was completely the wrong look for this female warrior. Immediately my impulse was "there's nothing here that's going to work". As I looked through the other photos, I was only seeing the faults.
I took a breath.
Scrolling through them a second and third time, I started to see the potential. One image of the woman was spot-on, and the font from another rendition was perfect. With a calm head, I could see she actually presented me with all the elements of a fantastic cover.
It's helpful to be in-tune with your emotions. If you're about to make a decision based on impulse, take a breath, think it over. You may discover something wonderful.
January 6, 2021
Not Again
Before a book is published, a copy editor can improve the story by enhancing the writing. It's one of the last steps before a book goes to print. I find this interesting because you might think it's the story itself that would face additional scrutiny, but it's actually elements of the written word.
A common mistake is word repetition. I usually catch redundancies when I reread a page. My second book is going through copy-editing now. Even with all the previous edits, the word "like" was overused, and this will have to be corrected. But, why are these repeats a problem?
Books let readers lose themselves in a world created by the author. Most novels will take hours to read, and good writing is the conduit for an entertaining story. Word repetition can be boring and uninspired. It can also be distracting if it garners attention.
When you're writing, challenge yourself to finding new words and different ways to say the same thing. This one fix will benefit not only the structure but also the readability. Remember, not everything bears … repeating.
A common mistake is word repetition. I usually catch redundancies when I reread a page. My second book is going through copy-editing now. Even with all the previous edits, the word "like" was overused, and this will have to be corrected. But, why are these repeats a problem?
Books let readers lose themselves in a world created by the author. Most novels will take hours to read, and good writing is the conduit for an entertaining story. Word repetition can be boring and uninspired. It can also be distracting if it garners attention.
When you're writing, challenge yourself to finding new words and different ways to say the same thing. This one fix will benefit not only the structure but also the readability. Remember, not everything bears … repeating.
December 17, 2020
Merry and Bright!
The holiday season can be a very festive time. But, expectations to be joyous can make us feel stressed. This year, especially in the face of the pandemic, we may need a little help to stay merry and bright. Here are three things to try in any situation that gets you down.
1. Stay in the moment. On the road to any lofty goal, whether it's enjoying the holidays or publishing a book, try not to focus on all the variables ahead but what's actually happening now. Being in control is comforting; think about what you can do in the moment and take things one step at a time.
2. Reframe the situation. This is something I learned from Social Work school. Try to think of something negative in a different way. For example, instead of saying, "It won't feel like Christmas if I can't see my relatives," try, "I'm going to be really creative to connect with my relatives."
3. Take the next step. When we're down about something it may be hard to move away from what's upsetting us. On the path to our goals, there are often disappointments and setbacks. But, try to remember - that's all they are: bumps in the road. The best way to feel better is to think what's the very next thing you can do to move forward. It's amazing how one small move in the right direction can gain momentum.
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. I wish everyone a wonderful holiday season, with good health and goal attainment! - Ivy
1. Stay in the moment. On the road to any lofty goal, whether it's enjoying the holidays or publishing a book, try not to focus on all the variables ahead but what's actually happening now. Being in control is comforting; think about what you can do in the moment and take things one step at a time.
2. Reframe the situation. This is something I learned from Social Work school. Try to think of something negative in a different way. For example, instead of saying, "It won't feel like Christmas if I can't see my relatives," try, "I'm going to be really creative to connect with my relatives."
3. Take the next step. When we're down about something it may be hard to move away from what's upsetting us. On the path to our goals, there are often disappointments and setbacks. But, try to remember - that's all they are: bumps in the road. The best way to feel better is to think what's the very next thing you can do to move forward. It's amazing how one small move in the right direction can gain momentum.
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. I wish everyone a wonderful holiday season, with good health and goal attainment! - Ivy
November 23, 2020
Turkey Vulture
It's a few days before Thanksgiving, so this is the perfect time to tell about my mistake with a "Turkey Vulture".
I try to be mindful not to write anything just because it sounds good. But, my editor caught me doing just that.
In my mind, a turkey vulture is a big, scary bird. It's wingspan is up to 72 inches, and some in the species are larger than vultures. They're bodies are dark, brownish-black, and they often sit high in trees with their wings spread. The sight of such a bird overhead must mean trouble. I referenced them as a bird of "prey".
This was my mistake. I said it simply because it sounded good. But turkey vultures are, in fact, not birds of prey; they are opportunistic feeders.
To the plot of my novel--it made no difference. But, the mistaken reference took the reader, my editor, out of the story to make the correction. Anything that distracts the reader from the plot is something a writer must avoid.
The turkey vulture gave me a good reminder to proof-read carefully, and always write for accuracy-never just to sound good.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I try to be mindful not to write anything just because it sounds good. But, my editor caught me doing just that.
In my mind, a turkey vulture is a big, scary bird. It's wingspan is up to 72 inches, and some in the species are larger than vultures. They're bodies are dark, brownish-black, and they often sit high in trees with their wings spread. The sight of such a bird overhead must mean trouble. I referenced them as a bird of "prey".
This was my mistake. I said it simply because it sounded good. But turkey vultures are, in fact, not birds of prey; they are opportunistic feeders.
To the plot of my novel--it made no difference. But, the mistaken reference took the reader, my editor, out of the story to make the correction. Anything that distracts the reader from the plot is something a writer must avoid.
The turkey vulture gave me a good reminder to proof-read carefully, and always write for accuracy-never just to sound good.
Happy Thanksgiving!
