Ivy Keating's Blog - Posts Tagged "selfhelp"
Right or Wrong
When you ask someone's opinion, whether it's on a book you've written or how you look in a new sweater, you open yourself up to criticism. But, how do you know when to listen to advice or ignore it? How do you know what's right or wrong for you?
The first thing to consider is, who is giving you the advice? Does this person have expertise in the field? In the example of writing a book, if the critique is from a publisher, the critique should be considered seriously.
Next, think about your expertise on the subject. In the example of writing a book, are you a new author? If you are, then definitely listen to criticism. This doesn't mean you have to change anything, but it's definitely a learning opportunity.
Most importantly, understand yourself. What are your limitations? What do you need help with? What are you good at? What are you confident about? You must really know you and be secure with what you are presenting. This will help you know from within if a change is needed.
The decision to change something about your work or wardrobe has to feel right for you. Keep an open mind to feedback, particularly from people who have knowledge on the subject, but the final decision must come from within.
The first thing to consider is, who is giving you the advice? Does this person have expertise in the field? In the example of writing a book, if the critique is from a publisher, the critique should be considered seriously.
Next, think about your expertise on the subject. In the example of writing a book, are you a new author? If you are, then definitely listen to criticism. This doesn't mean you have to change anything, but it's definitely a learning opportunity.
Most importantly, understand yourself. What are your limitations? What do you need help with? What are you good at? What are you confident about? You must really know you and be secure with what you are presenting. This will help you know from within if a change is needed.
The decision to change something about your work or wardrobe has to feel right for you. Keep an open mind to feedback, particularly from people who have knowledge on the subject, but the final decision must come from within.
J.O.Y.
Today, I was inconvenienced. I had to wait to pick someone up, and there was no parking. I pulled down a side street and sent a text message - 'I'm here...'.
As I waited, I started to get annoyed. I like taking photos of nature for my social media. So, to pass the time, I drove slowly down the block. Just yards down the road I discovered a lovely stream, a quaint bridge, and a large lake with rock features and ducks - who knew?
My bad mood lifted! It made me think how negative emotions can obstruct our ability to reach our goals, but there are things we can do to lift our spirits. Here are three ways to move on with J.O.Y..
'J' is for 'justify' your feelings. We all have suffered disappointments. Tell yourself it's okay to feel upset, sad, or any other way.
'O' is for 'options'. Help yourself move away from negative feelings by thinking about 1 or 2 things you can do to change the situation. Even making a small list can help you realize things can change.
'Y' is for 'you', as in 'you can do it'. When we feel vulnerable it's harder to act. If you can think about the options you have and make a small start you will move yourself on to feeling better.
**I wish everyone Happy Holidays and the skills to keep that happiness all year round! **
As I waited, I started to get annoyed. I like taking photos of nature for my social media. So, to pass the time, I drove slowly down the block. Just yards down the road I discovered a lovely stream, a quaint bridge, and a large lake with rock features and ducks - who knew?
My bad mood lifted! It made me think how negative emotions can obstruct our ability to reach our goals, but there are things we can do to lift our spirits. Here are three ways to move on with J.O.Y..
'J' is for 'justify' your feelings. We all have suffered disappointments. Tell yourself it's okay to feel upset, sad, or any other way.
'O' is for 'options'. Help yourself move away from negative feelings by thinking about 1 or 2 things you can do to change the situation. Even making a small list can help you realize things can change.
'Y' is for 'you', as in 'you can do it'. When we feel vulnerable it's harder to act. If you can think about the options you have and make a small start you will move yourself on to feeling better.
**I wish everyone Happy Holidays and the skills to keep that happiness all year round! **
Focus and a Good Night's Sleep
Years ago, I learned a trick for what to do if I couldn't fall asleep. The solution was to stop trying. Get up, walk around, even turn on the light, and then - after a few minutes - settle back in bed and close my eyes. It worked!
I think the reason this trick was successful was because it took the focus away from the pressure and the negative feelings of not being able to do something. Negative feelings stifle productivity.
Did you ever notice how sometimes the best ideas come to us when we're not trying? While submitting my second novel for consideration an agent asked me what inspired the story. My answer was the Great Lakes. What an odd answer for a fantasy novel with magical creatures, but I remember thinking about the lakes and wondering what kind of imaginary world could be built around them. Without pressure or doubt it's easier for ideas to flow.
If you are trying to start a project or find yourself having trouble finishing one, ask yourself if negative thoughts are blocking your ability to succeed. If you have to refocus, step away from the project, even for 10 minutes, and come back to it. This simple action may be all you need.
I think the reason this trick was successful was because it took the focus away from the pressure and the negative feelings of not being able to do something. Negative feelings stifle productivity.
Did you ever notice how sometimes the best ideas come to us when we're not trying? While submitting my second novel for consideration an agent asked me what inspired the story. My answer was the Great Lakes. What an odd answer for a fantasy novel with magical creatures, but I remember thinking about the lakes and wondering what kind of imaginary world could be built around them. Without pressure or doubt it's easier for ideas to flow.
If you are trying to start a project or find yourself having trouble finishing one, ask yourself if negative thoughts are blocking your ability to succeed. If you have to refocus, step away from the project, even for 10 minutes, and come back to it. This simple action may be all you need.
We're Connected!
When it comes to reaching goals, the importance of networking should not be overlooked.
Networking is the act of interacting with others to exchange information and develop professional contacts. It can also help us generate fresh ideas.
The extent one can benefit from this varies. There's a sentiment-It's what you don't know that can hold you back. As you're working toward your goals, seek out others in your field. Chances are you will discover something that can help you that you may not have known to look for.
An example of a site that has fantastic networks for writers is Goodreads! To find the best ways to promote 'Camouflage', I searched for Goodreads' groups that discuss promotions. For finding an agent, I like the network "Query Tracker" because writers share their experiences. These sites do not push an agenda. Instead they encourage dialogue. In reading this blog, you are networking because there's an opportunity to share comments and ask questions.
No goal can be reached in isolation. Finding a good network can be an invaluable resource.
Networking is the act of interacting with others to exchange information and develop professional contacts. It can also help us generate fresh ideas.
The extent one can benefit from this varies. There's a sentiment-It's what you don't know that can hold you back. As you're working toward your goals, seek out others in your field. Chances are you will discover something that can help you that you may not have known to look for.
An example of a site that has fantastic networks for writers is Goodreads! To find the best ways to promote 'Camouflage', I searched for Goodreads' groups that discuss promotions. For finding an agent, I like the network "Query Tracker" because writers share their experiences. These sites do not push an agenda. Instead they encourage dialogue. In reading this blog, you are networking because there's an opportunity to share comments and ask questions.
No goal can be reached in isolation. Finding a good network can be an invaluable resource.
Let's Talk Promotions!
Recently I had a request to do a blog on how I promote 'Camouflage'. I'm happy to share some of the things that work and how I go about organizing them.
My background is in social work and I like to set up any challenge in a structured goal attainment way. First I define my goal. Then I do research to discover the best way to get results, and then I try what I discover.
In this blog I'd like to focus on the goal of increasing sales. 'Camouflage' is sold primarily online as an eBook at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, and Apple iTune. Any promotion I run has to send readers to these sites.
After I define my goal, I do my research. I constantly search for the best promotional sites and then go to Kboards to see if anyone has had experience with them. Here's my favorites for science fiction and fantasy: Bargain Booksy, Booksends, EreaderCafe, (their last minute option) and The Portalist. BookBub is supposed to be terrific but they are expensive. A great strategy is to line up a few promotions in a row. This will help you climb in rank on Amazon.
I also promote my book for free by reaching out to bloggers, and I contact magazines and newspapers to write articles featuring 'Camouflage'. The New England landscape inspired my story and I mention this to interest local publications. My bank allowed me to set up a table with my book and information about my social media. Getting the word out always helps increase sales.
I hope this answers some questions about promotions. I am open to answering questions and anyone may email me directly through my website, ivykeating.com.
My background is in social work and I like to set up any challenge in a structured goal attainment way. First I define my goal. Then I do research to discover the best way to get results, and then I try what I discover.
In this blog I'd like to focus on the goal of increasing sales. 'Camouflage' is sold primarily online as an eBook at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, and Apple iTune. Any promotion I run has to send readers to these sites.
After I define my goal, I do my research. I constantly search for the best promotional sites and then go to Kboards to see if anyone has had experience with them. Here's my favorites for science fiction and fantasy: Bargain Booksy, Booksends, EreaderCafe, (their last minute option) and The Portalist. BookBub is supposed to be terrific but they are expensive. A great strategy is to line up a few promotions in a row. This will help you climb in rank on Amazon.
I also promote my book for free by reaching out to bloggers, and I contact magazines and newspapers to write articles featuring 'Camouflage'. The New England landscape inspired my story and I mention this to interest local publications. My bank allowed me to set up a table with my book and information about my social media. Getting the word out always helps increase sales.
I hope this answers some questions about promotions. I am open to answering questions and anyone may email me directly through my website, ivykeating.com.
What a Character!
A great character in a book is similar to a good friend in the sense that they're both someone we want to spend time with. But, unlike our good buddies, great characters can be rotten to the core. So, what is it about certain fictional players that draw us in? Three of my favorite attributes are their intrigue, image, and depth.
Intrigue is what about them holds our interest. It's why someone should care about the character. What personality traits do they have that make them unique, or what behaviors do they exhibit that a reader could empathize with.
Image is what the reader makes a character out to look like. We don't really need to know if the protagonist has straight hair or curly, but if we can picture them-it closes the gap between our worlds.
My favorite trait to analyze is depth. Depth is how solid the character is. Can I get a feel for how they would act in any circumstance: even outside the story? Does the player feel authentic? This is done by showing the character's actions in a variety of situations and, every time, showing their behaviors are true to their personality and physical limitations. If a character is flawed or chaotic or rotten to the core-their actions still must make sense for their reality.
If you're a writer, think about the characters you've created and analyze them. If they're bland, inconsistent, or hard to imagine, they will have a negative impact on your story. Interesting, well developed, players will be the ones readers want to hang out with.
Intrigue is what about them holds our interest. It's why someone should care about the character. What personality traits do they have that make them unique, or what behaviors do they exhibit that a reader could empathize with.
Image is what the reader makes a character out to look like. We don't really need to know if the protagonist has straight hair or curly, but if we can picture them-it closes the gap between our worlds.
My favorite trait to analyze is depth. Depth is how solid the character is. Can I get a feel for how they would act in any circumstance: even outside the story? Does the player feel authentic? This is done by showing the character's actions in a variety of situations and, every time, showing their behaviors are true to their personality and physical limitations. If a character is flawed or chaotic or rotten to the core-their actions still must make sense for their reality.
If you're a writer, think about the characters you've created and analyze them. If they're bland, inconsistent, or hard to imagine, they will have a negative impact on your story. Interesting, well developed, players will be the ones readers want to hang out with.
Pencil Me In
Today, many people are finding that their normal daily routine has been changed due to no fault of their own. If you are someone that feels they need an external stimulus to get motivated, now is the the time to to use effective strategies that can help you structure your day.
Why structure? Structure can help us feel secure in the sense that it gives us direction, purpose, and a path to reach our goals.
Think about something you want to achieve. Maybe you want to finish writing a book or learn how to use a new computer program.
Now, brainstorm - think of all the things you have to do to reach that goal. To learn a new computer program you may have to research what the best program for your needs are, watch a tutorial, upload information, etc. Write out what it takes to reach your goal.
Goals that are grand are usually harder to reach. A good trick is to focus on the step right in front of you instead of thinking about how far you have to go.
Every day, check your list and set aside some time to work on the behaviors you listed. By creating a new schedule for yourself, in absence of your regular daily routine, you may find you can achieve something you didn't have time to before.
Why structure? Structure can help us feel secure in the sense that it gives us direction, purpose, and a path to reach our goals.
Think about something you want to achieve. Maybe you want to finish writing a book or learn how to use a new computer program.
Now, brainstorm - think of all the things you have to do to reach that goal. To learn a new computer program you may have to research what the best program for your needs are, watch a tutorial, upload information, etc. Write out what it takes to reach your goal.
Goals that are grand are usually harder to reach. A good trick is to focus on the step right in front of you instead of thinking about how far you have to go.
Every day, check your list and set aside some time to work on the behaviors you listed. By creating a new schedule for yourself, in absence of your regular daily routine, you may find you can achieve something you didn't have time to before.
Motivation
If motivation is the general desire to do something, then it's probably not lack of motivation that prevents us from reaching our goals.
The following are three common reasons we put off doing something we say we want to do.
1) There are aspects of reaching the goal that we don't like.
2) We don't know where to start.
3) We don't have a clear path to reaching the goal, so we become overwhelmed.
Here are a couple tricks to get you over the hurdles above and back on the path to success.
Usually there are elements of any activity that we love and some we do not. Take, for example, writing a novel; you may love crafting a story, but you may not enjoy editing it. Take a moment to think about why each step is necessary. Acknowledge "editing" is not your favorite. Then, try the Premack Principle and plan to do something you like after you complete the undesirable task. Modifying the environment may help, too. Keep your favorite drink handy or a book that inspired you on your desk as you continue to work.
If getting started is difficult, think about the very first step you need to take. Focus on it alone. A book can take years from conception to publication, but it starts with pressing the letters on the keyboard.
When we feel overwhelmed, it's hard to act. A great way to combat this is to put together a step by step plan. Break-down a huge task into manageable pieces. Finding a publisher or an agent is hard, but the first step is to create the book-then do a ton of editing-then create a query letter-and then look up publishers and/or agents that work with your genre. If you're not sure what to do next, researching the subject will give you the confidence to proceed.
If you're putting off reaching your goals, try modifying your method--it's likely you have all the motivation you need!
The following are three common reasons we put off doing something we say we want to do.
1) There are aspects of reaching the goal that we don't like.
2) We don't know where to start.
3) We don't have a clear path to reaching the goal, so we become overwhelmed.
Here are a couple tricks to get you over the hurdles above and back on the path to success.
Usually there are elements of any activity that we love and some we do not. Take, for example, writing a novel; you may love crafting a story, but you may not enjoy editing it. Take a moment to think about why each step is necessary. Acknowledge "editing" is not your favorite. Then, try the Premack Principle and plan to do something you like after you complete the undesirable task. Modifying the environment may help, too. Keep your favorite drink handy or a book that inspired you on your desk as you continue to work.
If getting started is difficult, think about the very first step you need to take. Focus on it alone. A book can take years from conception to publication, but it starts with pressing the letters on the keyboard.
When we feel overwhelmed, it's hard to act. A great way to combat this is to put together a step by step plan. Break-down a huge task into manageable pieces. Finding a publisher or an agent is hard, but the first step is to create the book-then do a ton of editing-then create a query letter-and then look up publishers and/or agents that work with your genre. If you're not sure what to do next, researching the subject will give you the confidence to proceed.
If you're putting off reaching your goals, try modifying your method--it's likely you have all the motivation you need!
Take a Breath
Acting on impulse is letting your emotions make decisions. While some choices have to be made faster than others, it's often beneficial to take a moment and steady our feelings before making decisions.
Here's an example; Today, the cover artist for 'Sarana and the Dark King' sent me a dozen potential designs. When I looked at the first few, I knew they weren't right. Sarana was too exposed. It was completely the wrong look for this female warrior. Immediately my impulse was "there's nothing here that's going to work". As I looked through the other photos, I was only seeing the faults.
I took a breath.
Scrolling through them a second and third time, I started to see the potential. One image of the woman was spot-on, and the font from another rendition was perfect. With a calm head, I could see she actually presented me with all the elements of a fantastic cover.
It's helpful to be in-tune with your emotions. If you're about to make a decision based on impulse, take a breath, think it over. You may discover something wonderful.
Here's an example; Today, the cover artist for 'Sarana and the Dark King' sent me a dozen potential designs. When I looked at the first few, I knew they weren't right. Sarana was too exposed. It was completely the wrong look for this female warrior. Immediately my impulse was "there's nothing here that's going to work". As I looked through the other photos, I was only seeing the faults.
I took a breath.
Scrolling through them a second and third time, I started to see the potential. One image of the woman was spot-on, and the font from another rendition was perfect. With a calm head, I could see she actually presented me with all the elements of a fantastic cover.
It's helpful to be in-tune with your emotions. If you're about to make a decision based on impulse, take a breath, think it over. You may discover something wonderful.
Talking Heads
This blog is not about the cool music group from the 90's. It's actually about a no-no in writing. I used to wonder why parts of my story were zooming by. It turned out, I had a couple of passages with talking heads. This is when there's dialogue with no action.
I didn't recognize it as a problem at first because I thought it was an exciting read. One character said something–– right away the other responded–– then the first person commented–– and back and forth it went.
The problem is that it's limited. People rarely talk without moving, getting distracted, getting interrupted, taking a sip of a beverage, etc. If you write with only 'talking heads,' the reader will not get a true picture of the scene and it limits character development.
Here's an example:
"Hi hun, what are you doing?"
"Finishing up some work."
"Okay I'm going to watch TV.
"I'll join you soon."
Here's an example with actions added:
"Hi hun, what are you doing?" He took quick steps out of the kitchen toward the living room with a soda and bag of chips.
"Finishing up some work." She took a big breath and let it out, then slumped back in her seat in front of the computer.
"Okay, I'm going to watch TV." He stopped behind her chair and leaned over to give her a kiss on the back of her head.
"I'll join you soon." She smiled and moved her fingers back over the keys.
Actions give context to a scene and flushes out the characters. In the first example, you really don't get a feel for who these people are. In the second example, you can draw some assumptions about them.
If you're a writer, help the reader really get to know your characters. How they act is just as important as what they're saying. A well developed scene will have more than 'talking heads.'
I didn't recognize it as a problem at first because I thought it was an exciting read. One character said something–– right away the other responded–– then the first person commented–– and back and forth it went.
The problem is that it's limited. People rarely talk without moving, getting distracted, getting interrupted, taking a sip of a beverage, etc. If you write with only 'talking heads,' the reader will not get a true picture of the scene and it limits character development.
Here's an example:
"Hi hun, what are you doing?"
"Finishing up some work."
"Okay I'm going to watch TV.
"I'll join you soon."
Here's an example with actions added:
"Hi hun, what are you doing?" He took quick steps out of the kitchen toward the living room with a soda and bag of chips.
"Finishing up some work." She took a big breath and let it out, then slumped back in her seat in front of the computer.
"Okay, I'm going to watch TV." He stopped behind her chair and leaned over to give her a kiss on the back of her head.
"I'll join you soon." She smiled and moved her fingers back over the keys.
Actions give context to a scene and flushes out the characters. In the first example, you really don't get a feel for who these people are. In the second example, you can draw some assumptions about them.
If you're a writer, help the reader really get to know your characters. How they act is just as important as what they're saying. A well developed scene will have more than 'talking heads.'
