David Andrew Jaffe's Blog, page 8

Surviving Employee PTSD

Enjoy!

Do I have Employee PTSD?

I entered a new world recently, very enthusiastically. I’ve got a new job, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

And, in all honesty, I’m thankful for everyone who has ever handed me a work contract. I’ve always been fully confident in my ability to do everything I’ve done, from my lowly job scrubbing pots and pans in a bakery, to running a summer camp, to my current job working in digital reputation management.

But I’ve also done a fair amount of career hopping, so to some extent, I understand why someone might look at my resume with a level of trepidation. Is he really qualified for what we’re going to be tossing his way? Is he going to once again decide to move on to something very different with his life?

Is he a product of his previous employment, incapable of shifting to become the kind of worker we need him to be?

Suffering from Employee PTSD

And this last question is a major part of what I want to write about today.

I think I’m suffering from a bit of Employee PTSD… which may or may not be a term I’m coining. Or it might even be a term I’m using wildly incorrectly.

Nevertheless…

When you’ve been employed for a while, you build up a reservoir of experiences. And, unfortunately, inevitably many of those experiences will be harsh or negative.

And they start shaping your outlook.

Here are some examples of workplace situations that have shaped my perspective, which I will need to shed in order to live a comfortable life, and be the best I can possibly be at what I do.

On Edge, All The Time

I had several jobs over the years with one-year contracts. These contracts contained clauses stating I could be let go at any time for any reason whatsoever. And the contracts never improved, they just got renewed from year to year… If you were lucky.

They left me feeling unnerved, never fully comfortable. Never fully feeling like I was protected or that my career was going anywhere.

And they’ve helped me develop a mindset like I’m always on the chopping block. Like my job could be snatched out from me at any moment. I can do exceptional work. I can be a team player. I can be innovative and put in tons of hours. But it does not matter. When the smoke clears, it can all be snatched right out from under me in an instant.

It’s an unsustainable way to feel in the workplace. I, and I assume most people, are infinitely better at what we do if we have a certain level of freedom, a certain level of knowing we can come and go, do our thing, and not live in panic that every misstep, big or small, could result in our termination.

This was especially true from my teaching days, where it didn’t even need to be a real misstep. All that was needed was a false accusation from an angry student or parent, and not only would the job disappear in the blink of an eye, but the career would be gone as well. Vanished into thin air, regardless of anything I had done prior.

And it’s still there. That ever-oppressive voice in the back of my head that tells me I need to be perfect or the chopping block is in my future. Don’t take days off. Don’t socialize too much. You must over-perform. And you need to be the best at everything, otherwise they’ll just find someone else.

Merger PTSD

That PTSD is following me around, alongside a fear of mergers and acquisitions.

I’ve now worked for several companies either during or shortly after the company was part of a massive restructuring, either bought by someone else or combined with another company.

In every case, the mood is awful. Everyone’s terrified of change, and they’re panicking that the company culture is about to be shifted drastically. And they’re right! These are always filled with massive change and culture shifts. And often gigantic layoffs as well.

And these restructurings can happen at any moment.

It takes some of us months or even years to get fully settled in a role. To know your boss, and the way things flow, and the nuances of the company culture, and to start feeling like you belong, like you’re a part of the fabric of the company.

And there are countless ways that can be uprooted in the blink of an eye.

I once worked for a company that excitedly talked about it’s new merger with a competitor. I’m sure someone in some office somewhere made millions off the deal. But the rest of just felt doom and gloom as we watched everything we had grown to know and love get flipped on its head.

And before we knew it, half of us were unceremoniously let go.

Fear of change is real. Fear of change in the workplace is very real. And it’s not going away for me anytime soon.

Questioning PTSD

My final workplace PTSD is about asking questions.

In any new work situation, or really at any point along the way, people should be strongly encouraged to ask copious amounts of questions. It’s how we learn. How could we be expected to know everything, or really anything at all? And if the job involves any level of complexity or there are moving parts that change all the time, you will need to rely on others to help in the process.

And this should be encouraged!

But some people are really bad at this. Some people or institutions don’t have a simple way to ask questions. Or they’ll go so far as to make you feel inadequate for even asking.

And this happened to me enough times that I fear asking, despite knowing full well how much of a necessity it is.

Whenever I need to ask someone a question, I have to brace myself. I feel like I’m inconveniencing others. And that I should have an alternative way of finding our the information. And then when I finally break through and ask what I needed, I’m still shocked and in awe when they graciously answer me and are not bothered by the fact that I asked.

I’ve got a lot of growth and an odd uphill battle ahead of me. I know I’ll emerge on the other end of this a better, stronger person. I just wish I didn’t have to wash off so many years of muck and grime to get there.

The post Surviving Employee PTSD is featured at Jaffe World.

A Brave Night of Comedy

Enjoy!

A friend of mine and I recently went to an open mic comedy show in Jerusalem. I’m going to be honest: My expectations were pretty low.

Why?

Well, for one, I don’t find Jerusalem to be a particularly funny and entertaining city. It’s a city filled with lots of division. It’s city with huge amounts of traffic, smoking, and litter. It’s a city with wall-to-wall synagogues, people walking into each other, and noise pollution.

But funny? Entertaining?

Not the city’s specialties.

Comedy Skeptic

So I would be skeptical if I were going to a professional comedy show in Jerusalem. All the more so an open mic where un-polished, starry-eyed young folk will hit the stage, untested, trying to kill it with the crowd, and hoping someone out there is watching who will talk to them after the show, and give them the break that will change their lives forever.

But I thought it was more likely some not-extremely-talented but enthusiastic folk would hit the stage and eke out a few jokes here and there, with a couple of disjointed laughs from the crowd. And I would sit there stoic, wondering when the show would end and I could move on with my night.

Well, this is how it went, and what I took away from the experience:

A Late Night

First off, the show was mid-week and was scheduled to start at 9PM. I hate to admit it, but I’m just not the teenager I used to be. A show starting at nine means not getting home until God know’s when, and then and only then winding down until I can finally fall asleep.

But as I said in a previous post, if you want to get anywhere in life, you need to say “yes” to trying new things. I’ve repeatedly complained about the lack of things to do in Jerusalem. And even when there are things to do, they’re often too expensive to sustainably do regularly.

But here we were. I love comedy, and there’s a comedy show happening in my backyard. For free! Granted, it was an open mic in Jerusalem. I’ve gone to see some of the greatest who’ve ever lived. George Carlin, Louis CK, Stephen Wright. And I’ve been to Atlantic City for some fantastic live shows. What’re the odds a bunch of random folk winging it at a hole-in-the-wall in Jerusalem will really capture my heart, and have me falling off my seat laughing?

The odds were not in their favor, but it’s impossible to know until you get off your ass and try things out.

But, as happens to me so many times in my adult life, I made the erroneous assumption that if they’re starting really late in the middle of the week that they’d at least start close to on time.

Not quite.

It was 9:45 when the first person was called up to the microphone! Not a great way to start the event, but what can you do? It’s Israel. Not a lot of respect for time in this wacky place.

Met Expectations

But I watched with a very open mind. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to laugh really, really bad.

And sadly, I didn’t that much.

It’s not that I didn’t have a good time. I certainly did. And I have zero regrets for going.

It’s just that the routines weren’t all that good. I laughed a few times, to be sure. But I’m used to something more polished. In a sense, I’m spoiled.

It’s like theater. I’ve seen Les Miserables on Broadway three times. If I heard that it was being performed in some backyard theater in Ohio, I just wouldn’t go. They could all be extremely talented actors and singers, but my standards are likely just a bit too high. And it’ll ruin the performance for me.

If I do it the other way around, everything will be fine. I’ll go in with no expectations. I’ll go in not knowing the plot or the songs. And I’ll smile and be happy, blissfully ignorant that there’s something better out there.

And here I was, painfully aware that on YouTube or Netflix, just a click away, was some comedy I could watch that was a lot higher quality.

Following a Dream

And it’s not that the jokes weren’t good, or the concepts people were speaking about weren’t amusing or entertaining. It’s that the performers lacked experience. It’s the subtlest things that’ll take a comedian from good to great. Timing. Knowing when to pause. Brilliant crowd work. Controlling the microphone just right. And so much more.

I truly hope they keep getting up there and doing what they do. I hope they follow their dreams to the end. I hope they never stop trying to make all of us laugh.

And I hope they all get there, and at one point in history, I’ll get to say, “Wow, I was there when they were just starting out at a hole in the wall in Jerusalem. I was bored… but look at them now!”

Balls of Steel

But in all of this, my biggest takeaway is how impressed I am that they even get up there in the first place.

Most of us have trouble standing in front of a crowd. It doesn’t matter if it’s one minute or an hour, we still get nervous. We get jittery. We might even feel a little ill.

Standing up in front of a crowd and trying to make them laugh is beyond challenging. Few have tried, even fewer succeeded. Yet these young folk have a dream. They want to stand in front of thousands of people, each one laughing harder than the next. And they know there is only one road to get there. Before you can thrive in front of the many, you have to bomb countless times in front of the few.

So who were all these people that night?

People will balls of steel. People who fought hard against the urge to just be silent observers. People who are willing to do what the rest of us are way too afraid to do.

All to make other people laugh.

I’m impressed.

I’m inspired.

And yes, I’m a little bit jealous.

Before you can thrive in front of the many, you have to bomb countless times in front of the few.
Click To Tweet

The post A Brave Night of Comedy is featured at Jaffe World.

Cluster Munitions and the Morality Question that Isn’t

Enjoy!

This is a bit more political than I usually like to get, but when you’re passionate about an issue, it’s hard to remain quiet.

I read something in the news that was an eye-opening learning experience. The United States decided to send something called cluster munitions to Ukraine, to assist in their efforts to fight back against the Russian invasion.

Now there’s a few points here that should be said.

Rules of War

First, I haven’t seen much about this in the news, so I thank Tangle once again for bringing it to my attention.

Second, I never heard of cluster munitions before reading this article. I know we’ve had several moments in modern history where people read a blurb on Instagram and instantly saw themselves as experts. I am not one of those people. In a matter of moments, if you’ve never heard of cluster munitions before, you will have as much knowledge about them as I have.

Finally, I’ll admit the concept of rules of war is really bizarre to me. I get that in a sport, rules are needed. Some might think there should be fewer rules in Mixed Martial Arts, for example. Nevertheless, there are some rules almost everyone agrees on. You might be perfectly OK with kneeing a guy in the head while on the ground, but still don’t want to see biting or crotch punching.

But war is different.

Can we really be civil as we try and kill one another? Apparently the answer is yes. Countries can come together and say if the need arises to massacre one another, we can at least retain our humanity. Thus bullets and missiles are a polite form of murder, whereas biological weapons are socially unacceptable.

But even though I struggle with the idea, I accept it. And appreciate it. And I think the world’s a better place with such rules.

I’d prefer no war… but beggars can’t be choosers.

Bullets and missiles are a polite form of murder, whereas biological weapons are socially unacceptable.
Click To Tweet

What are Cluster Munitions?

And that brings us to cluster munitions. On one foot:

They are essentially bombs with tons of mini-bombs that explode outward in many directions.

Now, this just sounds like a nasty bomb. And war is war. It’s hell. Of course it’s gross and violent and you want to do as much as you can to win as quickly as possible.

Nevertheless, these bombs come with two primary issues:

a. They tend to cause much more immediate damage to civilians than ordinary bombs.

b. They have a tendency to produce lots of unexploded warheads that can detonate and hurt people for decades to come.

And for this reason well over one hundred countries have come together to ban their usage during warfare.

So… How Do You Feel About Cluster Munitions?

But here’s where is gets sticky.

Despite the fact that so many countries hate these things, three countries not signed to ban them include: Russia, Ukraine, and you guessed it, the United States of America.

Now the US will claim that their version of these bombs is less disastrous than other country’s versions. But, seriously, come on! When you lose the moral high ground to over one hundred countries, you need to really rethink your actions.

And who are some of these countries?

The heroin-producing, 9/11 instigating, women stay in the home and be slaves to their spouses, good ole Afghanistan. Who else? Well, Germany, Japan, and Italy–yes, all three axis powers–all hate cluster munitions. And heck, let’s toss Lebanon and Iraq in there for good measure.

And the US is not only not coming out against these horrific weapons of enduring civilian casualty, they’re sending them into an active war zone, near guaranteeing the suffering of thousands over the course of the next several decades.

This is not something to be proud of. This is something that puts us in a category of not all that much better than Russia!

What About Tomorrow?

What’s our justification?

Not much, to be honest.

We’re trying to help Ukraine win a war, and a defensive one at that. Which is very understandable. Russia is the clear aggressor. And Russia has already used such weapons on Ukraine, as well as other practices oozing with immorality. And finally, we claim that our cluster munitions aren’t as unsafe as those of other countries. Fewer duds. Fewer unnecessary civilian casualties for generations to come.

But I feel silly even saying these things.

Yes, Russian leadership is being horrendous, and deserves to get completely demolished in this war. But the war will come to an end. There will be a tomorrow. And the leadership of the United States of America will need to wake up the next morning and live with itself. It will need to know it did actions to make the world a better place, not backwards errors that will cause suffering years later. Not moral compromises that will make us look back and wonder how we could have been so foolish and shortsighted.

A Question of Morality?

Have we not been here before? Have we not looked upon Vietnam with regret? Have we not been behind the only two atomic weapons ever used on other human beings, thus resulting in generations of pondering whether or not the US really is the moral country it claims to be?

When your actions are looked upon by the world as revolting and dangerous, it’s time to check yourself. It’s time to look internally and say, “Hey, maybe we’re not inherently great. We can make mistakes. And perhaps it’s time to take cues from others as to how we should behave.”

We ceded the moral high ground. And it could have repercussions on our future. And that is unacceptable.

I said at the beginning of this article that I don’t love writing about politics. I might be more knowledgeable than the average Joe on the street, and I certainly don’t lack opinions. But it’s not where my passion lies. And it’s not as fun as it used to be to get involved in controversy.

But I see this as different. I see it as a question of morality.

And it’s easier for me to write about things when the topic feels, for lack of a better word, easy.

If there’s a war going on, should you supply one of the countries with weapons infamous for causing mass destruction to civilians, that will continue to cause pain and death long after the war is over? Weapons condemned by more than half the countries in the world?

Seriously, why the hell is this even a question!?

The post Cluster Munitions and the Morality Question that Isn’t is featured at Jaffe World.

Saying Yes: Idiot’s Guide to Happiness

Enjoy!

Humans are frail. Riddled with fears, preconceived notions, and expectations put upon them by others. And yes, all of this interferes with our happiness.

Not a day goes by in which I don’t stop myself from saying or doing something. Pesky thoughts take over. What if I mess I up? What if other people think my question was stupid, my suggestion was trite, or my participation was annoying? And instead of living the life I want to live, I just continue to sit there in my chair and do nothing. Nothing, except watch the life I could have pass me by.

What Could Be

Contrast this with the results of conquering the moment.

Picture someone sitting on a train. The morning’s been normal. Quiet. Not a care in the world.

Across from him sits a girl who starts reading his favorite book. He’s intrigued by her and desperately wants to start a conversation.

What could go wrong? She could ignore him or blow him off. The conversation could go poorly. She could hate the book. She could tell him she’s seeing somebody. And a hundred different ways that simply saying, “How’re you enjoying such and such book?” could go sideways.

For the confident who roam among us, they’ll move on with their day. Won’t consider it again, unless they’re just patting themselves on the back for being among the few in this world who are able to do that.

But what could go right?

Are you about to have a far more pleasant train ride? Or about to make a new friend? Perhaps it will lead to a date, or you might even have found the girl of your dreams you’ve been pondering for the last decade.

Cost-Benefit Analysis

Think about the cost-benefit analysis here!

You can have everything you’ve ever wanted in life. And all it would cost you is a small risk of embarrassment… which is also all in your head. Some people do the same thing, feel no shame whatsoever, and even if it is the biggest flop imaginable, they go on with their day. In fact, the next day, they try it all again.

Why are they different? They’re living life on their own terms, not held back by fears, and the other many silly thoughts we all experience that prevent us from walking away from our week living on a cloud, doing mental cartwheels in acknowledgement that we got up off our asses and did something new and special.

And for me, fear isn’t even the biggest factor. It’s a factor, to be sure. But it pales in comparison to the extent that I don’t like having my routine uprooted. Even if my day isn’t the most optimized it could possibly be, I’ve grown complacent. I’ve learned to be content just falling back into a routine. Any routine. As long as it’s there and keeping me generally busy and content, deviation is rendered anywhere between unsettling and downright painful.

But in the past few weeks, I’ve fought against my urge to just have today look exactly like yesterday.

The best way to get there is to just say “yes”. Do you want to try the new bar? Yes. Do you want to take a 90s hip-hop dance class? Yeah, sure. Do you want to fly to Brazil and study Capoeira for a month? Why the hell not!?

None of my experiences are all that dramatic; however, they’re all wonderful and incredibly impactful to me.

Me on the Screen

Just before starting my new job, I was asked to be in a short film. Sorry to say it’s not finished yet, so I’ve got nothing to show. And I also have no idea whether or not I did a decent job.

All I know is, instead of lounging in my apartment doing Duolingo or heading out for my daily gym fix, I spent the day out in the sun getting filmed. It was fun. It was eye opening. And I can’t wait to see the results.

And if the following day I looked back and said, “Why didn’t I do that? It’s a new experience. And I’d love to see what I look like on camera. Why didn’t I just say yes?” I would have beat myself up about it, feeling like life is short, and before I know it, I won’t have had the experiences I wanted to have.

Similarly, I was asked to be on a podcast about divorced men in the Jewish community. I didn’t know the people I’d be speaking with, nor did I have an hour to spare that evening. And as much as it’s abundantly clear that I like to air my thoughts and opinions out to the world, I wasn’t 100% sold on talking to strangers (and who knows who might listen) about some of the most complicated parts of my life.

But I knew if I had said “no”, I would have kicked myself. I would have thought it a missed opportunity. And a lost chance to get some of my messages out there to those who might listen.

So I said yes, both to the film and the podcast.

A Dancing Yes

Just like I said yes to go to a friend’s line dancing class.

Listen world: I can’t dance. I don’t even understand the concept. To me it just looks like some people have it, and the rest of us might admire the art, but we just can’t figure out how to get our bodies to do something that is actually pleasant for others to watch.

But whether or not they can admit it, in some form or another, everyone likes to dance.

Everyone likes to just let go and have a little fun without a care in the world.

And I so I went with my wife and daughter, and I had an absolutely fantastic time. Had I not gone, the next day I would have looked back with confusion, wondering why I didn’t just hop at another fun opportunity.

A Speaking Yes

And recently at work–a job I’d been at for a week–I had an opportunity for a bit of public speaking. I could have ignored the possibility and no one would have noticed. There were less than zero expectations that I would try doing something like that.

And to boot, I’m still nervous about public speaking in general. I’ve done plenty of it, but one of my main reasons is because I have fears I feel I need to fight against. I never want to be ruled by stupid fears, so given the opportunity to test myself, I take it.

And again, no regrets.

That isn’t to say I love every risk I take or I walk away a better person from every moment in my life where I say “yes” to interesting and peculiar suggestions. But I still never regret those decisions. It’s how I learn. It’s how I grow. And the endless possibilities that arise from putting yourself out there in the world are infinitely greater than the supposed risk at hand.

If someone comes to you with a proposal for something that even interests you slightly, or piques your curiosity, just say “yes”. You never know where the craziness of life can take you!

The endless possibilities that arise from putting yourself out there in the world are infinitely greater than the supposed risk at hand.
Click To Tweet

The post Saying Yes: Idiot’s Guide to Happiness is featured at Jaffe World.

Rejection Letters and Other Elements of a Faulty System

Enjoy!

I just escaped a not-so-delightful period in my life: Unemployment.

It was extraordinarily trying on me, from rejection letters to boredom. I’m simply not meant to be doing nothing. I’m a doer. I like to bust nearly 100% of the time. And job hunting is a very unsettling world, filled with disappointment after disappointment. And despite the fact that it’s basically a full time job in and of itself, it doesn’t have any of the benefits of actual work.

And it pays far, far less.

This experience was particularly difficult here in Israel, where the system is set up to make life infinitely more challenging.

No one who can change things is listening, to be sure. And even if they were, way too many people are too set in their ways. Nevertheless, I would like to propose four or so changes, concrete or otherwise, to the methods and systems of how institutions go about hiring new employees in Israel.

1) Time-Restricted Rejection Letters

One of the first things I noticed was how omnipresent were my rejection letters. I was getting rejection letters seven days a week, at literally any possible time of day. This was insanely unsettling. I felt like I couldn’t relax, because I was surrounded by rejection every single moment of my life.

I would like to suggest rejection letter hours. Obviously this is not something that could or necessarily should be legislated. But imagine a world in which all the companies knew and understood that rejection letters were only to be sent five days a week, from 10-11AM. It wouldn’t hurt the businesses at all, but would give an exceptional amount of peace to those hunting for jobs.

2) Speed Up the Hiring Process

Another thing that would make the world of the prospective employee significantly better would be a more streamlined system for hiring.

When I was in the States, I would go to an interview, and then I would either be hired or not hired. For my education jobs, it would often involve a model lesson as well. But as one of my favorite bosses along the way would say, “I can teach anyone how to be a teacher. But I can’t teach them enthusiasm, personality, and loyalty.”

Interviewers should be looking for the so-called “soft skills”. They should be hiring those who want to enthusiastically work hard and will throw themselves into their job, not someone who simply knows JavaScript.

And for this, you don’t need twelve interviews. One can totally be enough.

But for whatever reason, in Israel it’s this long, drawn-out process, whereby you first speak to a hiring manager, usually someone who doesn’t even work for the company. And then you progressively go up the rankings, until you’ve met with everyone from the CEO to the head janitor, they’ve checked 38 references, you’ve done a task that used up a good solid 30 hours of your time… and then they decide to go with someone else… or decide to restructure the department and no longer hire anyone at all.

I don’t think they’ll fully change this process, even if it’s convoluted, time consuming, and sends the message that the job isn’t really all that urgent. But at the very least, I think it should become a one-day affair. Bring someone into the office, have them go through a battery of interviews and tasks, and make the decision in one week, rather than one to two months.

It’s literally better for everyone involved.

3) Remember the Little People

Part of this comes with the third thing:

Prospective employers need to have a better understanding of the people they are interviewing.

It is a super tough job market out there, and Israel is ridiculously expensive. It’s not just the exorbitant rents or the outrageous taxes. There are countless things that sneak up on you constantly. So if you are out of work, that bank account is going to disappear in no time.

Imagine (not hard for me) working for 17 years straight, and still knowing that if the unemployment drags out long enough, your entire bank account will be completely gone.

In six months, everything you’ve attempted to build, can vanish in an instant.

What does this mean for the employer? We’re in pain and every second counts. You might need to take a day off, and that’s fine. And, of course, there are holidays and all sorts of other obligations that will inevitably get in the way.

But if you recognize that the person standing before you isn’t just another potential cog in the wheel of your company, but an actual human being who might be worried about how they’ll be feeding their kids soon, you’ll potentially look for solutions to streamline the process a bit quicker.

You don’t owe me anything. And no one’s forcing your hand. But it’s still the right and decent thing to do.

You need to learn to look at things through the eyes of the prospective employee and act accordingly. Yes, technically you hold all the cards. You have the power, and you have what they want. But that doesn’t take away your morality or your sense of fairness. I mean, do you really think your brand new employee is going to feel inherently loyal after you strung him along for a month just to hand over a contract?

The person standing before you isn't just another potential cog in the wheel of your company, but an actual human being who might be worried about how they'll be feeding their kids soon.
Click To Tweet

4) Rejection Letters… the Right Way

Finally, shore up the process of applications. And stop saying nonsense in rejection letters!

The vast majority of my application flops looked like this: I saw a job on LinkedIn that looked mildly interesting, definitely something I could do. So I clicked a button and tossed my resume that way.

Then I forgot about it and moved on.

Several days later or so I would get an email saying generic blah blah. We were impressed with you. But we’ve decided to go with another candidate. Please feel free to apply to other roles. We will keep you in our system in case anything matching your skillset opens up in the future.

And so on.

The first time you receive something like this, it feels a bit nice. At least they saw you. And they were impressed! And who knows, the chapter might not be closed yet.

The Truth about Rejection Letters

Facts:

They never looked at your resume.

And you will never hear from them again.

They were not impressed by you, and your existence has fallen into the abyss. You have been forever forgotten by the company.

The chapter is 100% closed.

There is no reason for this. Any of this. There is nothing wrong with being brutally honest.

Don’t string people along and make them think there’s still a chance. It’s painful and ultimately harmful.

For sure, get back to people. The quicker, the better. Be blunt. Don’t lead people to believe the matter is still open. And better yet: Don’t pretend like you’re looking at resumes in the first place. Stop advertising your jobs on LinkedIn and just tell the world: We ain’t hiring anyone unless someone we know plops the resume down on our table.

Unemployment is miserable.

We’re all in this game together. One day I’m unemployed, the next day it might be you. There’s no reason to make the process any worse. Let’s all work together to make things better for everyone.

The post Rejection Letters and Other Elements of a Faulty System is featured at Jaffe World.

Looking for the Right Community

Enjoy!

Jerusalem is not my forever home, my ultimate community.

It’s the place I’ve been living for the past 6+ years, and whereas good things have arose along the way, and I have had some positive experiences, I’ve known for some time now that I’m not where I want to be.

I can explain my reasons all day long, everything from the traffic to the high cost. But it won’t really convey the feeling in my heart that lacks a proper, decisive explanation.

When you know you’re not home, you just know it. You feel it in every inch of your system. I’m not where I’m meant to be, and when you feel this way, it seeps into everything you do.

We all should be able to find our homes. The community that is right for us. That place you don’t like leaving and you are excited to return to. The place in your life that just screams “home”.

Jerusalem is Not Home

And not only is Jerusalem not that place for me, but I have yet to find the place either. We’ve begun the search, but all beginnings are challenging. And can be frustrating.

It’s actually a bit similar to dating, in many ways. Generally speaking, you can’t know you’ve found the place of your dreams after just one visit. However, it often doesn’t take much time at all to realize you aren’t where you belong.

The process of finding the right home is daunting.

There are many things that I’m on the hunt for. Some are obvious, some a little less so.

I would like a proper home. I grew up in a nice-sized house with a yard. I had my own bedroom. And it’s hard for me to imagine a world in which my children don’t have the same privileges. They shouldn’t have to be cramped. There should be a place for all of us to go outside and enjoy some fresh air, with a bit of grass and a big grill.

Spoiled by Kansas City

And it would be nice if that little dream didn’t come at the expense of having to sell organs on the black market or creating a giant crystal meth cartel just to afford the down payment. Sadly, Kansas City has forever spoiled me. I now believe you can have everything you want in a home, and it can still be affordable. Is that the case in Israel? Well, yes and no. The percentage you need to pay for a down payment is outrageous, and in order to get even close to the aforementioned house description, you’re going to need to be pretty far from central areas.

But I’m keeping the dream alive.

Nevertheless, that’s all material goods. Just because I found the perfect house for the right price, does not automatically mean happiness is inevitable. It by no means signifies that “home” has finally been discovered.

After being around for a bit, and thinking way too much about my settings and the people around me, I’ve finally found a general description of what I’m looking for. I don’t know if it exists, or if it exists in the way I would like it to, but maybe if I put it into words, it will help me get there.

The Mixed Community

But first, I want to contrast what I’m looking for with something that doesn’t interest me very much. And that’s a so-called mixed community. What “mixed” usually means in this context is that different types of people live side-by-side. In Israel, more than anything else, it’s a reference to religiosity. In a mixed community, there are both religious and secular people.

As you’ll soon understand, this is by no means a problem for me. Quite the opposite, in fact.

What is a problem is what “mixed” means with a little further observation. A mixed community is one in which religious and non-religious folk live in close proximity, but often have little to nothing to do with each other. It’s like two different worlds living right there, but there’s no meaningful interaction between them. They are mixed like combining oil and water. Yes, they’re together. But they’re separating. They’re not actually one.

In a mixed community, at best they live in separate harmony. At worst, they spend their waking hours silently judging those different from themselves.

No, what I seek is something a lot deeper. I want an “integrated” community.

Mixed vs Integrated

I don’t just want religious and non-religious people living in close proximity to one another. I want them relating to each other as people. I want them friends with one another. Visiting each other’s homes, watching their kids play together.

I want religious and non-religious friends and neighbors engaging with one another in lively discussions, sometimes about their differences, and sometimes about soccer, their favorite Netflix shows, and the bastard who cut them off in traffic.

And I want it to be seamless. Obvious. We’re not friends with each other because we have an agenda or we want to proudly tell other people that we have such a great variety of people in our lives. No, we’re friends because we like each other, we’re not judgmental, and we try to relate to people for who they are, not because they fit into a certain demographic.

I don’t want an invisible partition fence separating me from people in my community, patting ourselves on the back and pretending like it matters that there are different folk around. No, I want people to relate to people as they should: As people. Never discounting each other based on outer appearance nor hyper-focusing on belief systems as a way to make decisions about who you want or don’t want to be in your life.

A mixed community is not a bad thing. Tolerance is definitely better than intolerance. And willingness to be exposed to things different from yourself can certainly be beneficial. But it’s just a first step toward a far greater ideal.

Tolerance is good, but it’s a fairly low standard. If someone described their marriage as tolerable, I think most of us would be worried about their future. True progress comes not from tolerance, but from love, integration, and communication.

If I find that, I’ve likely found my home.

Tolerance is definitely better than intolerance. Willingness to be exposed to things different from yourself can certainly be beneficial. But it's just a first step toward a far greater ideal.
Click To Tweet

The post Looking for the Right Community is featured at Jaffe World.

Tangle My Way to a Smarter Me

Enjoy!

I am inundated with amazing newsletters, from Need2Know to Tangle. Swamped with amazing content… and loving it.

How’d I get here?

Becoming Informed

I made a pact with myself not long ago. I decided to become more informed. I wanted to know what was happening around the globe, and to be better capable of participating in a conversation or discussion about the world around me.

Arguably, the best way to do that would be to read newspapers and news websites, but this comes with three problems for my personality:

a. It’s just too much. The news cycle is never-ending and many articles are extremely long. I don’t have the time or the patience to attempt to digest all of the data that would be flying my way. Especially considering that I would need to consume more than one site, if I wanted to stay true to myself and get perspectives from multiple angles (see #3).

b. It’s overwhelmingly depressing. Knowing what’s going on is important. But immersion is a recipe for upset and depression. I remember when I used to follow the news all day every day during the Second Intifada. It was unsettling and definitely made my days worse. Life will always continue happening, with it’s ultra-consistent ups and down, regardless of whether or not I’m reading the news. But it’s up to me to learn to be informed without finding my way into an insane asylum.

c. News sources are choc full of bias. When you read most news sources, you can feel the political leanings. You can sense hatred. Some don’t even attempt to mask their political bent. Others try and fail. But I want to know what’s going on without someone telling me how I’m supposed to think and feel about things. There’s very little out there that seeks to inform without indoctrinating, so I have the increased burden of trying to become well-informed and hearing what others thinks about matters, but sill making sure I’m exposed to multiple perspectives… but not manipulated by any of them.

This is all a massive task. And yet, I feel like I’m finally where I want to be. It’s not simple, but here we are.

The Process Begins

To get started, I needed a newsletter that summarized what was happening in the world in a quick, easy to digest format. I searched, found, and quickly fell in love with Need2Know, and I’ve been reading their emails five days a week for years. It’s brief, informative, and really too short to complicate the matter with unnecessary commentary or bias.

But this didn’t satiate me. No, it was my gateway newsletter. And before I knew it, I was signing up for a whole lot of them. I didn’t like that I received news from around the world (mostly US), with almost no information about the country I was living in. After a hard search, I finally found IsraelAM, to get a quick dose of Israel news a few times a week. It’s not the highest quality, and it’s not free from bias (despite their claims), but it’s what I have for now. And it’s certainly a lot easier than tormenting myself with an Israel news addiction, a problem I had during the second Intifada. I couldn’t get enough of feeling miserable…

But I still felt like I needed more. I was economically ignorant, and I was fortunate enough to stumble upon Morning Brew. Morning Brew is more like an economics newsletter empire. Not only do they have their core newsletter, which is fantastic, but for those who wish to get a bit deeper into all sorts of more niche topics, they have special newsletters for those as well, with topics like marketing and emerging technology. I signed up for a few of those as well. And by this point, I’m already needing more time in my day to feed my desire for knowing what’s happening in the world.

To make things more exciting, in one issue they mentioned their founder, Austin Rief. I thought it was an odd coincidence, but upon investigation, I confirmed that he had been a student of mine! It truly is a wonderful world sometimes.

But I was by no means done. I would eventually toss in a couple more newsletters. Chartr is yet another one, this one telling a few stories of current events, but with the visual aid of really interesting and vivid charts. And Contrarian Thinking isn’t really news so much as a different perspective on entrepreneurship. It often highlights folk who took simple (and often dull or mundane) concepts and turned them into business behemoths, businesses that have made them financially independent.

Tangle Arrives

But I still wasn’t done. Something was missing. I didn’t know what until it fell in my lap. This is where signing up for Tangle was the major game changer, finishing the package (maybe?) and tying everything together.

I don’t remember how I discovered Tangle, I just vaguely remember reading a description and realizing immediately it was exactly what I was looking for.

How was it described? It’s basically an attempt to dissect major news stories, look at it from multiple perspectives, and truly grasp the concept of what’s happening without a prior perspective clouding the thought process. And it does so brilliantly.

I’ve often said that all the previous newsletters I signed up for are in my life to help me be more informed. But Tangle actually helps me become a wiser person.

And it’s true. Every time I read the newsletter I walk away with my brain feeling taxed. Like it got its own little workout.

Tying it all Together

And it’s fascinating to see how differently people can understand the same issue or story. Tangle’s main person, Isaac Saul, will often feature letters he receives the day after he publishes a piece about a controversial subject. Inevitably people will be upset and unsubscribe, and also inevitably some will write in to angrily complain about what they read. Isaac will feature two letters, one complaining and stating he’s unsubscribing because of how biased the article was to the right, the other complaining about how biased the article was to the left.

And at that point, what can you do? You can just laugh a little. And, of course, recognize that if you’re pissing people off from both sides of the aisle, you’re probably doing something right.

If you're pissing people off from both sides of the aisle, you're probably doing something right.
Click To Tweet

And Tangle definitely is. There are not a lot of attempts to respectfully address multiple perspectives in this day and age. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. People are wearing their biases on their sleeves like never before. And on top of that, they’re spewing venom and hatred upon anyone who disagrees. Thank goodness for Tangle, displaying a whole lot of sanity in an otherwise insane world.

So, am I more informed than I used to be? Most certainly. Many writers have been working hard to get me there. Am I actually wiser? That remains to be seen. But I’m certainly enjoying the process of trying to get there.

If only there were more hours in the day!

The post Tangle My Way to a Smarter Me is featured at Jaffe World.

5 Things I’ve Learned Unemployed in Israel

Enjoy!

I just spent the longest stretch of my adult life unemployed. It was unnerving, at best. I hated it, and I’m still reeling from the experience.

But with all adversity comes the lessons learned, the lessons I wish to pass along to anyone listening, unemployed or not. Here are the main five:

1) Do Not Wait

This one is enormous. Fact is, I could have guessed my previous job would have eventually disappeared. The writing had been on the walls for years. But I was comfy. The job wasn’t terribly difficult, the pay was good, and the lifestyle it provided me was desirable.

We all eventually developed an attitude like we’d be there forever. Like we’d grow old with the company, and that we mattered and they wished to hold on to us for as long as we were willing to stick around.

But that’s not the world we live in. Company’s grow and shift. They change priorities. They merge with other companies, or get purchased by other companies. Bosses and co-workers comes and go. Often the workplace you start at barely resembles the one you’re currently working in. And before you know it, you are unceremoniously let go. You have joined the ranks of the unemployed. Some HR person coldly gives you the news, and your whole life is overturned.

Don’t wait until things fall apart. Of course, you’re allowed to enjoy your job. Stick around, be loyal. But protect yourself at all times. Keep your resume up-to-date. Keep updating your LinkedIn profile. Go to networking events. Learn new skills. Find a mentor. Apply for other positions if they look appealing.

Don’t wait until you’re unemployed.

Sadly, most companies will move forward and not even notice that you are left in the dust. Sometimes you have to be a little selfish. You have to put yourself first. No one else can do that for you. Get yourself out there and climb to the highest highs. Don’t wait around until someone else makes that choice for you.

Sometimes you have to be a little selfish. You have to put yourself first. No one else can do that for you.
Click To Tweet

2) The Process is Mighty Long

Another reason to start nice and early is because the process in Israel is insanely long.

For the past two decades, I worked at many places. And every single one of them had just one interview. For most teaching positions, there was a model lesson as well. Even I was shocked at the end of my interview with GoDaddy. I thought we were just introducing ourselves to one another, but at the end of the interview, we started talking about my training. I actually had to clarify what exactly just happened.

But that was it. I had just been hired. In the States, as far as I can tell, when a position needs to be filled, they fill it. The process is fairly quick and simple.

But apparently that’s not at all the case here.

Standard practice is it all starts with speaking with a hiring manager, if you somehow get past the resume stage. This person, unlike their name might imply, doesn’t actually hire you. They’re just a first step in a long process of around 4-6 interviews, a task that will normally take around 1-2 hours, and contacting your references. The whole ordeal usually takes somewhere between 1-2 months.

So if you just lost your job, you need to expect that you will spend some amount of time unemployed, even if your credentials are off the charts. Get started nice and early. Because you’re in for the long haul!

3) You Must Shift Your Expectations

I had a pretty good setup with my previous job. My hours were great. I worked from home… so my commute was superb. And the pay was pretty decent as well.

I set off on my job search adventure expecting I would have to make compromises in one of those realms. I’d probably have to shift my hours, perhaps even work a really awful evening shift. Any commute would be more challenging than just walking over to my couch. But I accepted the idea that if I wanted to stop being unemployed, I might have to travel, perhaps a few times a week. Perhaps pretty darn far.

But at first I thought I could keep my paycheck intact… and as time went by, that dream seemed to be slipping away as well.

I always thought to get a job it would be absolutely necessary for me to compromise on one of these three elements. For sure, no more than two of them. And after months of searching, I’d definitely come to realize that to make ends meet, I would likely have to take a paycut, work hours I don’t want to work, and endure an uncomfortably long commute.

And I was not at all prepared for this reality.

But the quicker one realizes that massive sacrifices will likely need to made to get a job in Israel, the quicker you are likely to be able to get one. It’s sad, but true. If you want to be in Israel, shift expectations. Be prepared to compromise. Otherwise, you might be in for a very unfortunate job search.

4) The Learning Can Never End

When you have a job for too long, you tend to fall into the shampoo pattern. Lather, rinse, repeat. All day, every day. You become a master at the one thing you’re doing, but are not necessarily preparing yourself for the other things out there in the world.

But the world doesn’t stay on hold just because you do.

Learn. Learn new skills. Take on new tasks. Keep up with what the industry wants and needs.

You need to be utterly prepared for whatever might be out there when the wheels stop spinning. At worst, you have a trunk filled with skills you don’t really need. At best, you have the resume of champions when all the smoke clears, and when eventually unemployed, you’ll find yourself with infinitely more options.

5) CONNECTIONS ARE EVERYTHING

Finally, connections are everything. No, they are not just a lot. They are everything.

Theoretically, you can send thousands of resumes out to jobs you find on LinkedIn. And all those places need to hire someone. Maybe just maybe, you’ll have all the right keywords and your extensive experience will somehow magically get you to the top of the pile. But more realistically, it will disappear into some giant resume pit of despair, never to be seen or heard from again.

I’d take one connected friend who hands my resume to the hiring manager over one hundred applications sent on LinkedIn. All that I got from sending out mass applications was endless rejection notifications, and an overwhelming email inbox.

Hunt down your connections, big and small. Don’t leave any stone unturned. Somebody out there knows someone, and if you push long and hard enough, it will pay off. A job isn’t guaranteed, but it’s the best way to push past the awful initial stages and get yourself to an interview.

So stop serial applying. It’s a waste of time and mental fatigue and frustration. Start reaching out to the people you know. There’s a precious gem hidden somewhere deep within your social media connections. You just need to find it!

The post 5 Things I’ve Learned Unemployed in Israel is featured at Jaffe World.

My Gym Face Plant… I’m OK!

Enjoy!

I’ve been going to the gym for many, many years now, and at some point in one’s gym career, it becomes very easy to think you know everything.

But it’s very, very not true.

Gym Fails

There are many classic fails at the gym. The two most obvious are flying off the treadmill or getting caught under a heavy barbell during a bench press. How do these happen? The first is either because the treadmill is going too fast for you or you get distracted by something and lose your footing. In the worst case scenarios, it’ll look something like these. Obviously the whole scenario is far worse if you’re in a public setting.

With heavy bench presses, it’s advisable to use a spotter, someone who stands behind you and helps put the bar in the rack if it’s too heavy and you are incapable of completing a repetition. Should this happen, they’ll assist you. And if they weren’t there, you would either get crushed or you would have to do some pretty awkward maneuvering to prevent said crushage. It might look something like these (warning: not for the squeamish among us).

Thankfully, in my many years of gym attendance, and after spending countless hours doing both of these types of exercise, I have managed to not humiliate myself once on either device. I’ve lost my footing for a second or two on the treadmill, but always with a quick recovery, and as far as I can tell, entirely off the entire gym’s radar (and 100% free of embarrassing YouTube permanency).

But if you go to the gym several times a week for so many years, I guess it’s inevitable that you’re going to have a bad day here and there. And it looks like my number was finally called.

Trying Something New

One my favorite things to do in the gym is to try an exercise for the first time. Nothing beats that feeling of giving something a go and knowing right away that it would become a part of my personal arsenal of go-to moves.

So I wanted to try something that combined two moves I’d already attempted. Everyone knows what a push-up is. Well, there are some ways to enhance this move so you have a greater range of motion. One way is to balance on two kettlebells, like you see in the image. I’d done it before with great success.

Another intense move I’ve enjoyed is called a renegade row. See the video. But it’s basically like this: You get into a push-up position, with your hands over kettlebells or dumbbells, and you row back with one arm at a time. It’s a super challenging back exercise because of how unstable the body is during the move. I’d done it before, and it was super hard. I was ready to try again…

But this time I wanted to do something a little different. I would do a push-up on kettlebells, and then a row for each arm. But here’s where I made my fatal mistake.

My Fatal Mistake

Renegade rows are really challenging for me, so I wanted to use a fairly light weight. Veteran gym goers might already see where this is going. Well, you see, lighter weights are significantly less stable than heavier weights. When I tried push-ups on the kettlebells the first time, I used very stable, heavy weights. And thus had no difficulties.

But this fateful day, my luck would change.

I did one full push-up, and before I could do anything else, my balance was totally lost and my face was smacking against the floor at full force. I immediately sat up with my face buried in my hands. I was in a ton of pain.

My mental picture of what the scenario must have looked like was quite dramatic. Blood was pouring down my face from my freshly broken nose, and the entire gym was stopped in its tracks, all staring at me. Of course a few guys were off to the side trying really hard not to chuckle… and failing.

But, thank goodness, it’s not at all what happened. No, barely anyone noticed at all. Just one sympathetic fella who asked if I was OK and suggested for the future I use heavier kettlebells.

And then there was the requisite mirror check.

Surveying the Damage

It wasn’t too bad. My face was a bit red. My upper lip was a bit black and blue. My chin was marked up from the weird floor design. And when I blew my nose, there were tiny bits of blood.

But my lips, teeth, and nose hurt a lot. Very sadly, at the time of writing, my nose still hurts and is a bit sensitive to the touch.

But more than the physical pain, this was a bit of a blow to my pride.

I am a big advocate of exercising intelligently. It’s far more important to focus on form than it is to focus on heavy weights. If you lift correctly, you get to do so for many years. If you want to show off to the gym that you can make lots of steel move more, you’ll likely hurt yourself and end up out of commission indefinitely.

So even though the weights I’m lifting will rarely cause a passerby to marvel in awe of my accomplishment, I’ll be back again tomorrow. And the day after. In fact, I’m nearly 46 and I’m objectively in the best shape of my life. And I’m virtually injury free as a result of training. Yeah, there will be a few small pains here and there. That’s life. But nothing has taken me out and have me sidelined me for an extended period.

In addition, fitness is all about knowledge. The more you know, the more you can accomplish. Hard work is the most important key after you’ve gained said knowledge, but without research and thought, you have nothing to build upon.

My Wakeup Call

And here I was. Completely careless. Risked a nasty injury or two. All because I didn’t know enough and didn’t think more about what I was about to do.

It should be a wakeup call to me and anyone else who may be reading this. (A painful wakeup call)

Be.

Careful.

Life is precious. Don’t spend any of it holding your face in pain. Or nursing an unnecessary and debilitating injury for two months. Think before you act. Ask loads of questions. And live to train another day.

I finished my workout that day. And I was back in the gym the next. The matter could have been so much worse. And I’m grateful my wakeup call was just a slap in the face and a slight kick to my pride.

And I’m forever grateful that, as far as I can tell, I’m not the source of anyone’s viral video.

The post My Gym Face Plant… I’m OK! is featured at Jaffe World.

The World’s Worst Train Ride

Enjoy!

Apparently, there was a soccer game.

My son and I were on our way back from Tel Aviv the other day, a common occurrence for him and a big anomaly for me. We sat down on the train, tired, hoping for a pleasant and quiet ride as we came back home.

We were very unpleasantly surprised.

After The Soccer Game

Our entire car was filled with young folk singing, screaming, and chanting, with zero regard for anyone on the train. There had been a soccer game. Someone apparently won said game. And scores of youth then thought it was appropriate to ruin the ride home for dozens of other people, without a care in the world for how it affected anyone else around them.

And I spent over thirty minutes of my life stewing in anger, wondering how anyone of any age could be this inconsiderate. Hoping and begging that at some point they would just stop (they didn’t). Beyond curious if there were parents out there actually proud of their vulgar, loud, obnoxious, and rude children, who had zero regard for any other person on that train.

And odd visions passed through my head.

My Unfortunate Mind

Suddenly I was a samurai warrior. I took at my katana blade, and sliced my way through the train car, to the adoring adulation of everyone on the train who had just worked a full day and just wanted to come home with some peace and quiet.

My violent visions were not specific to any particular annoying adolescent… but they certainly didn’t exclude the kid who elbowed me in the head. As I angrily pushed his arm away from me, he had a look of shock on his face. He wondered what he could possibly have done and expressed those thoughts. When I explained that he hit me in the head, he said my head shouldn’t have been there.

And the katana blade just kept on slicing and slicing.

Nor did the vision exclude the bouncing moron standing next to me whose scrawny chest bones kept banging into my face, and whose spittle was getting on my arm. And it didn’t exclude the kids who were spattering sunflower seed shells all over the floor of what otherwise would have been a pretty clean train car.

Slice slice slice.

But there was no sword. No aggressive reaction. Just me sitting there, hoping and praying for them to stop, or for the train to get to its destination quicker.

And a lot of wondering how I got to this low moment in my life.

The Good Samaritan

I’d like to think I was not alone. That the other non-psychotic passengers were just as annoyed, but also just as passive to get this madness to stop. Or, of course, just as afraid.

But eventually, after maybe fifteen minutes of this nonsense, one brave woman stood up and told them they needed to stop. And it worked… for maybe around 10 to 15 seconds. And the chants grew even louder, more aggressive, and more repulsive as these dreadful twats felt empowered. They sensed weakness on the part of anyone who wanted them to stop. As far as they were concerned, they had every right to do whatever they wanted. As be loud as they wanted to. And nothing in the world could stop them.

That is, until some random man stood up and shouted them down. Demanded they stop immediately.

And this time, they did!

It was not graceful. They certainly stopped begrudgingly. I heard them angrily murmuring behind me about their distaste for this superhero. Nevertheless, the insanity had finally come to its conclusion.

But I sat there scratching my head. Why did the first attempt to shut them up fail, and the second worked perfectly?

Why This Not That?

I had two possibly conclusions:

First, just straight up sexism. These kids, implicitly or explicitly, were brought up without the faintest respect for women. So if they were told what to do by a measly young lady, this was not something they needed to take seriously.

Second, they all collectively feared getting punched in the face.

It is undeniable that this one man was weaker than their collective group. If they all wanted to pounce upon him at once and reclaim their gloriously infuriating chants, they could do so with ease.

But they were not united. Nor were they brave. They were not bold or strong. It was a bunch of scared little brats, each one individually afraid of getting slugged by this angry passenger. They not only didn’t have respect for the female who spoke up, they didn’t have fear of retribution. The weight of one man’s might was enough to crush a room of arrogant kids into submission.

And it almost made the whole thing worth it.

I mean, not really. But it was fun watching them wilt.

I wish it had happened sooner, much sooner. I wish I had had the courage and the confidence in my Hebrew to be that person. But sadly, I just mostly suffered in silence.

Why Was I On The Train From Hell?

I try to live my life looking back and wondering why things happened, big or small, positive or negative. This one so far eludes me.

Perhaps the universe was trying to send me a sign that the commute from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv was not something I would enjoy, or at least not something I was yet ready for. Perhaps after a very positive day in Tel Aviv, I needed a reminder of where I was and the things about Israel that frustrate me.

But maybe it’s simpler than that. Maybe I’m supposed to just look at my own children and smile.

Raising kids is hard, and despite all your efforts, the results can be all over the place.

But there was no nuance here. There was no grey area.

These kids were awful. All of them. The level of disrespect and vulgarity was off the charts. I’m not going to go so far as to blame their parents. Or their schools. But someone dropped the ball here, and ought to recognize that the results were not impressive.

I am proud of all my children, and so happy none of these were my own. They were gross. Yes, a soccer game happened. You have the right to be happy about that. But never at the expense of dozens of other people. Or even one other person!

You will very likely never see this post. And if you did, you’re probably too far gone to care. But seriously, check yourself. If you were my child, I would be embarrassed and ashamed of your behavior.

This is not OK. You are a poor representation of yourself and your nation. You could do better.

The post The World’s Worst Train Ride is featured at Jaffe World.