David Andrew Jaffe's Blog, page 4

Unemployment Done Right: 4 Rules to Thrive

Enjoy!

I had a traumatic situation about a year ago. After hanging onto a job for over six years, and basically working non-stop for twenty, I found myself unemployed. And miserable.

I didn’t know how to properly fill my time. And I felt myself in a state of constant worry and panic.

And then one day, I was employed again. And I found myself looking back at those frustrating unemployment days as lost opportunities. I realized I did unemployment incorrectly. And lots of observation and contemplation prepared me for today, once again “between jobs”, but this time attempting to live life to the fullest.

I have four rules that have kept me smiling during round two of the wonderful world of unemployment.

Unemployment: Be Picky

The first rule is to be selective.

Last time I was job hunting, the goal was to be employed. To pay the bills. To put food on the table. I easily sent out hundreds of resumes… and consequently spent half my day deleting rejection emails.

First of all, the goal should never be to just have a job. It should be to love a job. It should be to work in a field or for a company you love. You won’t love everything you do and 100% of your jobs along the way. But that should always be the goal!

So send out fewer resumes. Apply for jobs that are really calling to you, and will have an extremely positive impact on your future. Take the time to craft your resume and tailor resumes toward specific positions.

This is beneficial on so many levels. No one wants to receive hundreds of rejections or get ghosted by several dozen other companies. You are prevented from accepting a role that will at best not advance your career, and at worst will make you miserable. And you keep your eye on the prize. It’s like a marriage. The wrong choice can have indefinite negative consequences. You should play for keeps. Working for the sake of paying the bills is important, no doubt. But so is happiness. It should never be sacrificed.

Unemployment: Embrace the Chaos

The second rule is to learn to embrace the lack of schedule.

If you are anything like me, you like routine. You thrive on routine. You might get frustrated with the daily grind, but you also appreciate it. You know where you need to be at all times and what you’re supposed to be doing.

But you know in your heart that there’s more to life than going through prescribed motions.

There are countless things that get pushed to the side because there are too many rigid schedules in your life.

So what happens? You make job hunting your job, and artificially limit yourself once again, preventing you from doing things you couldn’t do before… because of your job.

Make a list of the likely several things you had no time for when you were working. Do you have a friend you never get to meet up with? A doctor you have been pushing off seeing? A class you’ve been wanting to take?

Of course, you’ll talk yourself out of it. How can I take a class when I don’t have a steady income? How can I justify taking time off my busy schedule of emailing resumes to thoughtless computer systems?

You’re asking the wrong questions.

What if life is about doing these things, and you’re missing out on everything because of your job? Before you were restricted by a work schedule. Now you are free. It’s temporary. So make the best of it!

Unemployment: Upskill Away!

The third thing one must do during their quasi-retirement is upskill like crazy.

When you have a full-time job, you usually tell yourself two things:

a. If I’m going to spend my time studying, it’s going to be to perfect my skills for my current role… or

b. Why bother branching out further when I already have a job?

It’s like reading a book on dating and flirtation when you’re already married. Nobody prepares themselves for the possibility the relationship might not work out. It seems insane. And silly.

But now you’re between relationships, and you have no idea what’s coming next. You think you do, but if you’ve been around the block, you recognize that the possibilities are endless.

You might take a course and it completely throws you off the path you thought you were on. You might gain the skill that sends dozens of recruiters to your LinkedIn page.

You might make yourself significantly more marketable. Or you might not. You might simply enjoy the time more since, like seeing that old friend, when are you able to pick up new and interesting skills?

You’re already stuck in this new and frustrating situation. Might as well make the best of it and ensure that what you know by the time you’re employed again is greater than what you knew when you left the previous job.

Unemployment: Where Does Happiness Come From?

Finally, you need to remember that happiness and calm are all in your head.

If you choose for this period in your life to be productive and pleasant, it will be. If you choose for this period to be miserable, it also will be.

That’s why we see unhappy wealthy people and joyous poor people. Some face tragedies and persevere to create amazing lives for themselves, and others crumble under the weight of the difficulties they face.

The difference isn’t the circumstances, but the character of the person facing those circumstances.

But you can, of course, influence the way you perceive the time. If you spend it trying to find your path, rigidly looking for something amazing to do with your life, bonding with close friends, and learning new and exciting skills, it will go a long way toward keeping a smile on your face throughout the ordeal.

But it’s not enough.

You need to be a different you. A type of you that laughs at adversity and thrives under all conditions. You need to transcend your circumstances. Rise above the challenges life will inevitably throw your way.

You need to not just tolerate unemployment. You need to choose happiness.

The post Unemployment Done Right: 4 Rules to Thrive is featured at Jaffe World.

He’s Different: He Booked the Room

Enjoy!

I had a very important and simple experience recently that taught me a huge lesson. My friend told me he booked the room, teaching me an important lesson through a simple act. And really demonstrating to me the difference between certain personality types.

You see, there are really only three people who manage to survive financially in Israel (excluding those who move here retired or other ways in which they start off with lots of cash):

Work in high-techFind some job where the money is coming from outside the countryBecome a successful entrepreneur

The first anyone can do, just not everyone wants to. If you hate computers and other types of technology, you’re just choosing a lucrative livelihood over happiness.

The second is really just 90% luck. You were in the right place at the right time talking to the right person. You nailed a fantastic opportunity. And now you are the fortunate envy of everyone around you.

Starting a Business in Israel

But the third one, now that’s worthy of a whole lot of discussion.

I’ve known a lot of people in Israel who’ve started their own businesses. And the purely speculative statistics are jarring. It appears to me that at best one in three are able to completely support themselves with the business they’ve created. The rest eventually, for a wide assortment of reasons, are forced to close their metaphorical doors forever.

Or run away from Israel.

Not that starting a business is easy in other places. Perhaps a little easier. But there’s something absolutely terrifying most of us feel when we consider starting any type of business venture.

Daunting Questions

Is my idea authentic, or novel enough that someone will want to pay for my goods or services?

Is the overhead too daunting? How can I pay this much money without severely panicking?

Do I have the patience necessary to go from day one to actually seeing things through to a completely successful and thriving business?

But from everything I’ve read, these questions, despite being ubiquitous, are not the issue that will prevent a business from reaching the pinnacle of achievements.

Your idea might be inauthentic. Heck, it might even be a downright ripoff of someone else’s idea. It doesn’t mean it couldn’t or shouldn’t succeed. Just because someone runs a great hand-crafted pottery business in Atlanta doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start your own in Portland.

Yes, the overhead will be daunting. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t suck it up and just shell out the cash.

And your patience will absolutely be tested. You will worry about not being able to make ends meet all the time. You will want to close up shop over and over again until you taste the sweetness of victory.

They Get Things Started

But there is one thing that separates the winners from the losers. There is one thing that separates those who create a successful business from those who spend their entire lives getting endless paychecks from ungrateful corporations.

They open the business.

They get things started.

They jump in, while the rest of us sit around coming up with reasons not to.

And that’s where I get to my story.

He Booked the Room!

A friend of mine and I recently reconnected. During our conversation he came up with a bit of a business proposal, which I found intriguing. He’d been running these seminars that were quite successful, and thought he could expand to a demographic that was more suited to my personal experiences. I liked the idea and thought it totally worthwhile to explore, and explore we did! We came up with a system for how to incorporate what I had to offer into what already existed.

But things got stalled, as they often do.

Life got in the way.

I was too busy one day. He was too busy another day.

And even though we both theoretically wanted to jump in with both feet, life was dictating that we ever-so-slowly poke our pinky toes in the water.

But then we had this ground-breaking moment. We were discussing things, and he told me he booked the room for our first session. On Thursday! It was less than a week away.

And it hit me like a ton of bricks. Our program may or may not be successful. It may or may not even be a good idea.

But the difference between me and him is I’ll hem and haw about the details for the rest of my life. What’s the best day and time? Where should we do things? What’s the optimum number of participants? Are we actually ready?

But him, he booked the room.

He booked the room!

And that’s what it takes to succeed in this world.

Fear of Failure

Fear of failure is powerful. And can stifle even the greatest minds with the most innovative ideas.

But at the end of the day, 100% of those who cross the threshold from nothing to overwhelming success took a dive and tried to do something. They plunged into the unknown with only hopes and dreams to carry them there.

What would the world look like if Jeff Bezos didn’t try to sell books to people online? What if Mark Zuckerberg didn’t give college students an opportunity to connect with people through the internet, attempting to succeed where Friendster and MySpace failed?

If they didn’t try, we wouldn’t be buying items to our heart’s desire on Amazon or posting pictures of our kids’ dance recitals on Facebook. The two would have phased away into obscurity. And the world would have no idea what it was missing.

The Successful Book the Room

Instead, they booked the room. They took a chance where others would have doubted themselves… and now they impact the lives of billons of people daily, and they are both among the wealthiest human beings alive.

The trick isn’t to always succeed.

No one could guarantee that. Or even come close. Even these two giants continue to make errors and have made many mistakes in their lives. It’s not the ability to coast through the world flawlessly that lays the foundation of greatness. It’s the ability to try something risky that makes this a possibility. And the lack of willingness to take that risk ensures failure.

Nothing guarantees success. But the one who ultimately does succeed tries where others wouldn’t. The one who succeeds is the one who books the room.

The post He’s Different: He Booked the Room is featured at Jaffe World.

Iran and the Out of Touch West

Enjoy!

With the wonderful mix of Hamas, Hezbollah, and Iran (oh my!), I currently check the Israel news way too much.

During times of calm, I check far less frequently. I receive a newsletter a few times a week that keeps me up-to-date on the vast majority of the top issues going on in the country. And that’s more than enough for me.

But when things get crazy–and that’s not an uncommon phenomenon–I’m glued to the news. I keep it open 24/7 in my browser, and I check it to see if there are any updates that are essential to know for practical reasons or just general awareness of what’s happening in my home.

See the Patterns

If you pay attention too long, you start noticing patterns. You start seeing how certain news outlets react to things. What stories they choose to tell, and what gets left behind.

For example, many don’t realize how many attempted terror attacks happen in Israel. If someone is murdered, that usually makes the news everywhere. But if someone is “lightly injured” or no one was hurt at all, then it’s agenda dependent. If you want to present Israel as a scary place, inundated by terror, you want to print as many stories as possible to support that narrative. If your goal or hope is peace and understanding with the neighbors, you want terror presented as an uncomfortable aberration. Showing every last attempt at Arab’s maiming people would not advance your cause.

And the news outlets take advantage of the laziness of the readers, in the hopes to push forward a narrative, and to get eyes on their sites. It’s effective… but dishonest. And in the big picture, I think they undermine their own integrity. And they make so many of us long for a medium to get our information that is exactly that: Information. No commentary. No manipulation. No agenda. No bias. Just the facts on the table, so we can form our own thoughts and opinions about what’s going on in the world.

It’s wishful thinking. But still an ideal.

The Enticing Headline

The other day I saw a headline interesting and enticing enough that I decided to click and find out what the bigger story was. It basically said that five or so countries had declared that Iran should not strike Israel. Yes, Iran was pissed that Israel killed a Hamas leader on their land. But it was not in their best interest to retaliate, according to these countries. They’re better served just cooling off for a few days and then moving on. Letting it go.

I opened the article because I was intrigued. Were fellow influential Arab nations coming forward and pushing Iran to not escalate things? Maybe Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates were waving their influence around, and pushing its brethren toward a measured and, dare I say, modern approach to regional conflict resolution. Or perhaps it was nations like Russia and China. These giants towered above puny Iran and maybe warned them that they might reduce their support if Iran didn’t back up slowly into a bush, a la Homer Simpson.

But no.

Italy Waves its Finger

The nations flexing their might and pushing Iran toward restraint were all Western European countries, like Italy and France, telling Iran their way is not the right way.

And my head dropped in a combination of emotions. Defeat. Confusion. Even a small smidgeon of laughter.

What in the world makes these countries think Iran cares at all about their opinions? All I think when I see things like this is that the Western World is far too out of touch with the Middle Eastern mindset to be even remotely involved with negotiations here.

The West knows about money. And politics. They don’t want war to touch their lands. They don’t want their citizens harmed. And they take being reasonable and having adult conversations as a sign of strength.

Iran and the Middle Eastern Mentality

The Middle East is filled with religious zealotry. It’s packed with idealism. It sees greater causes then just earning money and getting reelected. And many are willing to die for their causes. Or are at least willing to sacrifice the safety and security of their own people if it will advance their cause.

When Israel stepped on Iran’s toes, so to speak, Iran didn’t hesitate. They sent missiles and drones to pummel Israel, damn the consequences. In their eyes, they were attacking the enemy. They wanted to bring death and devastation. Their mission failed. Miserably. But it doesn’t change the goal. And their mentality has not shifted.

Some Middle Eastern countries have started to develop a bit of a Western mind. Those countries are capable of creating and maintaining peace treaties with Israel. They’ve learned to enjoy the benefits of not living through constant war and bloodshed. They decided that missiles landing on them is not their lifestyle of choice.

But it certainly wasn’t always that way.

A few short decades ago, they were attacking Israel left and right. And even when they were soundly defeated, just a few years later they’d lick their wounds and try again. Many of those countries have grown a lot since then. Iran is not one of them, at least insofar as it keeps itself heavily involved in regional conflicts.

The West is Out of Touch

The United States found itself face-to-face with a nation like that at the beginning of the 20th century. Two of its most iconic buildings came crashing down. Thousands of lives were lost. No one at the time considered negotiating with the Taliban. Nobody threw around phrases like “disproportionate force”. And no one made any silly assumptions that waving angry Western fingers would make a lick of a difference.

But that was a whopping twenty years ago.

And now Italy, a nation that a couple of generations ago fought alongside Adolf Hitler, can now wave a peeved finger at Iran, make a bunch of frustrated grunts, and can seriously imagine a reality where the Ayatollah will look at them and say, “Oh, so sorry my Italian brethren. Mi dispiace. We didn’t realize our actions would upset people as important as you. We’ll tone down our threats and rhetoric. It won’t happen again. All apologies!”

The Western World could not be more out of touch with the mentality of the region. And it’s to the detriment of the entire universe.

The post Iran and the Out of Touch West is featured at Jaffe World.

War and Intellectual Honesty

Enjoy!

In general, maintaining intellectual honesty is a real challenge in life. When faced with a security situation like the one Israel’s been in for three months, where there are two distinct sides, neither of which wishes to give an inch of the benefit of the doubt to the other side, intellectual honesty becomes downright nearly impossible.

And it gets worse when you factor in this ridiculous modern algorithm-driven life we all live, where Facebook and YouTube continuously spit back at us content that merely supports what we’re already thinking, and couldn’t care less about such things as values, morality, and truth.

Bias and Intellectual Honesty

No one is immune to bias, despite how much they might think they are the exception. And no one could avoid a certain level of blind support for their “team”, despite desperately wishing to be objective.

But living an existence where truth is more important than being a dumb cheerleader is a value of mine, one I hope to pursue the remainder of my life. So despite having my biases, I can’t and will not shut off my brain, even if it means the occasional criticism of my own side of the debate.

Let’s get my bias out of the way first:

Israel is the good guy and Hamas is the bad guy. Is Israel perfect? By no means. But a sovereign nation that does not seek out conflict and wishes to protect its citizens will always be better in my eyes than a terrorist organization that rapes women, murders babies, and uses innocent people as human shields.

And that’s not really something I’m so willing to debate.

But bias should not mean a complete shutting off all faculties of reason. It should not mean blindly accepting everything I read or see on Twitter or someone shouts at me on a bus. It should not mean running from intellectual honesty.

Bias should just mean you’ve chosen a side. And it is harder to see faults on your own side. Not impossible. Just harder.

Bias should just mean you've chosen a side. And it is harder to see faults on your own side. Not impossible. Just harder.
Share on X

More Than One Reality

So I read the news and see people’s repetitive posts on Facebook, and I often find myself wondering: Is this actually true? Or: Despite the initial exciting appearance, is this actually something I should be proud of or excited about?

And of course: Are we truly being honest with ourselves about the intellectual integrity of what we’re saying?

This is just one example of something I’ve encountered a number of times that I can’t help ponder.

One argument I frequently see: When Israel fights in Gaza, there should be minimal concern for “ordinary citizens” because there are no real innocent civilians. Why? Because they’re trained from an early age to want Jews dead and to do everything in their power to make that happen, and they did everything from cheer on Hamas’ actions on October 7th to direct complicit actions.

Another argument I’ve seen: Israel is thoroughly justified in any actions taken in Gaza because evidence shows even the Palestinians don’t want Hamas as their leaders. Their brutal and overbearing regime is bad for the average Gazan on the street, and they want Hamas to be overthrown as much as we do.

Both approaches alone have their merit. And the possibility of being logically accurate.

However, can they both be true? Are these two ideas ever posted and or cheered on by the same source? Can they co-exist or are we just blindly regurgitating any argument we find appealing just because our crazy neighbor posted it on Instagram with a quip and an authoritative tone?

Contradictions

I maintain they are contradictory. You can tell me the average person on the street is not entirely innocent. You can talk about the text books in their schools. You can show videos galore of women and children cheering rape and murder. And the anger this induces could absolutely cause you to boil in rage. Even violent rage.

But don’t go trying to say the next day that the poor innocent Gazan hates Hamas as much as we do. Don’t go saying we’re really all on the same side against a common enemy.

I just don’t see a reality in which these two concepts can coexist. In which both can be accurate. In order to be intellectually honest, you also need to be logically consistent. And if you find it perfectly acceptable to be inconsistent, just quoting arguments when they suit your needs, you are no longer being true to the world or yourself. You are a propagandist. You’re just trying to manipulate facts to support whatever point you wish to make at any given moment.

The Believer

I think back to the movie The Believer, a fantastic film that I feel most have forgotten exists, about a Jewish boy who becomes a neo-Nazi when he learns about Jewish passivity during the Holocaust. He comes to think of his own people as weak and it sets him on a dangerous path.

Many hypocritical and contradictory thoughts are expressed and exposed throughout the film.

My favorite is when one of the Nazis is harassing a Jew in a restaurant, and in the dialogue one of the group denies Hitler’s murder of six million Jews. One of the others shouts at him, “Of course he killed six million Jews. That’s why he’s your hero, you moron.”

This fool was doing exactly as I’m arguing against. When he needed Hitler to be the leader of those who truly hate the Jews, Hitler was the mastermind exterminator. But when he needed to argue that Jews didn’t have the right to their level of anger, he made Hitler into someone who’s actions had been exaggerated.

But only one reality could be true, and his friend called him out on his asinine misuse of logic.

The Need for Consistency

We see it when other people do it. Everyone loves to point out a flaw in arguments made by others. But it takes a lot more work to see it in our own arguments. It takes a lot more work to consistently maintain intellectual honesty.

And I think we need to be people who do that. 100% of the time.

We can’t afford not to.

The world is looking at us. They’re pouring over our every word and action with a fine-tooth comb. And we must do a better job than we’re doing.

And we shouldn’t have to manipulate facts or stretch the truth. We occupy the moral high ground. We’re not perfect, but we sure as hell are better than the monsters who kidnapped and murdered babies on October 7th.

We’ve got the truth on our side. We should use it.

The post War and Intellectual Honesty is featured at Jaffe World.

Our People Need to Work Together

Enjoy!

October 7th was likely the worst day in Israel’s history. Yet there was this really interesting several weeks that followed. People were kinder to each other. More understanding.

They drove a little slower and were a bit nicer about letting people switch lanes. People weren’t cutting lines or yelling at each other. Maybe it was all in my head, but it felt like for the first time in my life I was experiencing everyone treating each other the way they are supposed to.

And then it all came to an end. It just fizzled out, and when life returned to relative normality, people became themselves again. With all the assorted bumps and bruises.

And it made me think. Thoughts I’ve had countless times. Things that I think are obvious, but apparently not so to so many people.

Everyone Can Be Successful

The 76-year experiment that is Israel, especially for those coming from foreign lands, only works if we look at everything as a team effort. We are all in this together. Through mutual understanding, shared experiences, and a bit of patience and humility, there’s room for everyone here to be successful.

Yet this is a small taste of things I’ve seen in recent weeks when people tried to ask reasonable questions on online forums:

Someone lambasted a recent immigrant senior citizen for asking questions about senior discounts on buses, because that person was a new immigrant and thus didn’t spend the last several decades contributing to Israel’s pool of taxes.

Another person mocked a someone for questions about sirens during the Iran attack. When called out for their lack of kindness they (with maximum snark) retorted that it was their duty to mock questions they deem stupid. Some type of contribution to stopping the spread of panic and misinformation.

And repeatedly I’ve watched people mocking others’ “ignorance”, and claiming proudly they feel they can do so because of the amount of time they’ve been living in Israel. You don’t know something that I do? Well, moron, maybe you should have come here much sooner, mastered the language, learned to navigate the system, and then you could sit here in the front seat with me, tormenting those who don’t have our superior knowledge.

It irks me because it’s obnoxious and downright mean.

But it irks me more because it literally damages the Zionist cause.

How Will People Stay?

There are lots of reasons people come to Israel at different stages of life. Lots of reasons why people struggle with a foreign language. And plenty of folk who have trouble adjusting to a culture and system so drastically different from what we’re used to.

So what does one do when facing these and other difficulties? They call to the crowd and humbly ask for assistance navigating a world so foreign to them. In a universe where the system works correctly, that crowd then offers advice. They graciously share their gathered wisdom with whomever requires help. And people feel comforted knowing they can rely on the collective grace of their people to guide them through often treacherous waters.

When the system works correctly, we want to come. And we want to stay. Because we know the answer to all of our questions is a quick Facebook post away, and a nation that is looking out for itself sees people assimilating well as a value.

But what happens when people are humiliated for asking a question? What happens when every attempt to find out information is filled with mockery and dumb jokes? What happens when there is no place to turn to look for what you need if you don’t have thick enough skin to deal with the torment of an imbecile hiding on the other side of a computer?

The best case scenario is you just stop asking.

The Damage Done

The worst case scenario is far more daunting and dangerous.

It also involves no more asking, or asking, but every single time doing it with a feeling a dread, panicking that your every typo, uninformed thought, or simple lack of information is going to be welcomed with a flood of asinine, childish, and downright hurtful reactions.

But it’s worse than that. You’re going to start disliking your home. You’re going to start questioning why you’re here. You’re going to doubt whether or not you can properly survive the Israel immigration experience if you know that every time you have a question, you’re faced with two choices: Not asking, but risking making a terrible and costly error. Or asking, but knowing that doing so will likely result in enduring the obnoxious behavior of your supposed comrades in this endeavor.

A Shift in Process

There actually is one more option, although I often doubt whether or not it’s a viable one. We need a shift in consciousness. A new outlook. Groups need to make it a priority to police this kind of behavior, followed by warnings and offenders ultimately being cast out of groups if people refuse to comply.

In the group that is the single worst offender of this notion (Secret Jerusalem), I once had a post removed because it “wasn’t about Jerusalem”. I asked a question for entertainment purposes… and it was working! In an hour it had hundreds of people replying, and everyone was having a good time. It was a lovely break from the tension that has been the last four years, but it was harshly and swiftly dealt with.

Get your priorities straight! If you have enough manpower to shut down a harmless post like mine, you could and should also police the massive bullying in your group.

And a Shift in Attitude

But we need more than better and more enforced policies.

We need a proper shift in attitude.

We need to see this as a collective effort. A team. A group of people sharing a common goal.

If you believe in the Zionist dream, you believe the entire Jewish world should be getting off their cozy New Jersey couches and moving to Efrat or Beit Shemesh or Tel Aviv. But what if they considered doing so, or even did so, but they chose in the end not to move to Israel or to leave because things were just too damn hard? What if they sought help, but instead were met with condescension and verbal abuse?

Are you going to sit on your porch self-satisfied that you’ve been here a long time? Proud that you know stuff and others don’t? Are you going to mock those who aren’t willing to make the sacrifices you have?

Sadly, the answer is probably yes.

But you are a part of the problem. Way more than you realize.

And you are an impediment to the Zionist dream.

Shift your attitude.

It could change the world.

The post Our People Need to Work Together is featured at Jaffe World.

Shai: You Can Change the World

Enjoy!

Something monumental happened last week. We celebrated the Bat Mitzvah of my precious youngest child, Shai, and it was an extremely special and fantastic experience.

An anecdote to illustrate a little bit about my daughter:

My son, Shai, and I were sitting around before our Friday night dinner. My son is in an advanced electrical engineering and physics program at Tel Aviv University. For some reason I’ll probably never remember, I asked him to tell us a physics joke, knowing full well there was less than a 4% chance I would get it. He proceeded to tell the following joke:

Heisenberg was driving along, when he was pulled over by a cop. The cop said, “Sir, you were driving 90MPH in a 60MPH zone.”

Heisenberg replied, “Great, now I’m lost.”

Crickets (most likely).

Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle

Now, if you giggled, you clearly had a more successful time in your High School physics classes than I did.

For the rest of us… the joke is based on something known as Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle. The idea states that you can know an object’s exact speed, or you can know its exact location, but you cannot know both at the same time. Hence, when the police officer told Heisenberg his speed, at that moment he most certainly did not know his location.

Ergo, “Great, now I’m lost.”

After we stared at Shlomo blankly for a moment, he then explained the joke at length to us, so we could at least get a friendly light giggle out of the deal.

Joke of a Thousand Laughs

But then we thought of a fun idea. Shai would tell this joke at our Friday night dinner and Shlomo and I would crack up while the others at the table would stare in confusion, both at why we got the joke and they didn’t, and at the fact that the joke was was told by an 11-year-old. We had a short window, and started prepping her for the operation, replete with acting lessons and a practice run.

She transitioned into telling the joke seamlessly, and with flawless execution in every way imaginable, told the joke at the table. And the reaction from everyone around was absolutely priceless, as they stared at all of us in utter confusion.

And that’s my little Shai Shai in a nutshell.

Everything she does, she does well. And one of her greatest gifts to this world is her ability to put a smile on anyone’s face.

And she’s been doing it now for twelve years, which is so mind blowing.

I wanted to highlight three things about Shai that stand out to me among a slew of fantastic character traits. The first I’ve already illustrated. She is so darn funny. And I know a lot of people in this world are funny. But frankly, not a lot of twelve-year-olds are. But she’s been cracking me up for years now, and I look forward to many more years of laughter.

Shai is a Curious Little One

The second trait I would like to look at is curiosity.

You can see Shai’s drive for understanding the world in her every facial expression. She is bursting with curiosity, and it’s so much fun to be with someone who wants to experience the world as much as she does.

I can’t think of a time in which we asked Shai to try something new and she immediately shrugged it off as being uninteresting or outside her comfort zone.

So whether it’s helping in the kitchen or going to a line dancing class or going to an escape room or learning how to read from the Torah in preparation for her Bat Mitzvah, every new task or challenge is met with enthusiasm and excitement.

Having someone in your life like that is so wonderful. And inspiring.

I hope the jubilant curiosity never lessens!

Filled with Kindness

Finally, my little Shai has a kind nature that fills me with immense pride.

Several months ago, Devorah was working on a project at our home. She was getting filmed for some online educational videos. Shai was visiting and helped out a bunch while she was there.

At some point, the person in charge asked if she’d be interested in being in one of the videos. Shai, the forever curious one, enthusiastically (and hysterically) participated.

When it was over, the man in charge insisted on paying Shai for everything she had done, and Shai flat out refused to accept the money.

He left the money for her anyway, and we approached Shai with three choices of what to do with the money:

Zero Hesitation

First, she could just keep it and go buy herself whatever she wanted.

Second, we could open up some sort of account for her and she could save the money for whenever she might want it.

Third, she could donate it to the charity of her choosing.

With zero hesitation, she chose the third option. She was so happy and excited to do something nice and good for the world.

The remaining question would be where to donate the money. I had prepared in my mind a list of suggestions, and started telling them to her. The first was a kibbutz I like giving to that helps out Lone Soldiers. I asked Shai if she knew what Lone Soldiers were. She didn’t, and I explained it was soldiers in Israel living here alone, with no family.

Once again, there wasn’t even a quick second of hesitation. Her eyes went wide, and she exclaimed that’s where she wanted it to go, which we took care of immediately.

It takes a very special child to put ice coffees and candy and toys to the side, suppressing the human urge toward selfishness in favor of doing what you can to make someone else’s life better.

And yet at a mere 12 years of age, Shai already has a profound sense of priorities that shocks, intrigues, and delights me.

You Can See the Sparks

Twelve is young. It’s more of a springboard for the rest of your life than actual life itself. Most of us look back and can barely remember the age, if at all. We certainly think of those days as inconsequential. Forgotten in a sea of accomplishments, hardships, and a whole lot of time passed.

Nevertheless, you can still see the sparks. You can see the foundations of greatness.

Shai, this is just the beginning.

There is so much more to come. And so much more amazingness to unfold!

The post Shai: You Can Change the World is featured at Jaffe World.

Maybe the World Loves Israel?

Enjoy!

I’m confused by the world.

Who is on Israel’s side and who is against us?

One one hand, it’s very easy to believe Israel is loathed and there is no one out there who trusts us. This is the feeling I get when I look at the news. It’s what things seem like when I see statements from international bodies or world leaders. When I see protests in the streets of London or watch college kids aggressively disrupting student life.

And when I look at my social media, it seems like there are only two camps in the world: Us lowly confused Jews, who are bothered by everything we’ve witnessed in the past year, and the rest of the world, who sees only evil when they look at Israel and wonders with confusion how the universe has allowed it to exist this long.

Do they really hate us?

My question: Is this accurate? Is the dichotomy really this pronounced? If so, that is terrifying. But if it’s not the case, who wants us to think it is? What is the goal of making so many out there think those who stand adamantly against the State of Israel represent the vast majority of the world?

I honestly don’t know the answer to any of these questions.

But I’ll tell you this much: I’m confused by what I’m seeing.

One of my second homes is Quora, where I’ve been answering questions for years, but only recently spend the vast majority of that time educating anyone who’s listening about the history and current events of Israel. And the responses have been extremely interesting.

What’s in a name?

When someone responds to my answer, one of the first things I do is check the name of the responder. Why? Because I’m looking for potential bias.

If someone agrees with my response, but they have a name like Shimmy Weinberg, I’m grateful for their support, but understand I was likely just preaching to the choir. I’m not really interested in writing things for validation. I’m there to hopefully make a difference. To educate, when possible. And to create balance in a medium that seems filled with anti-Israel sentiment.

At the same time, my answers will often generate a lot of angry responses. I’ll get called names. I’ll be accused of lying. And people will spew facts that support a very anti-Israel view. These “facts” are often complex, ranging from the reasonable to the downright fictitious.

But like I do with the cheerleading squad, I check the names of the detractors as well. If they have a name like Omar Badawi, I am again outside my sphere of influence. As far as I’m concerned, there is a very large chance they’ve arrived to the discussion with a large bias, and no amount of persuasion or reason will help them listen to another perspective.

Whose Opinion Matters

No, my interest is far more piqued when they have a name like Thomas McMurphy or Xavier Menendez. Of course the possibility exists that these folk are Jewish or Muslim, or have family who are, or live immersed in one of the two communities, so their bias is super powerful. My observations here are far from scientific. But that doesn’t mean they are without merit.

So let’s assume that by observing names, I can predict with 85% accuracy who among the responders are neither Jewish nor Muslim, and are impartial observers of the conflict just trying to make sense of this world. What do those people think or believe?

That’s where things get interesting.

Of course there are other factors, and some are really hard to pin down. Who uses Quora? Are they concentrated in specific countries, and do those countries have views per capita different from other places? Do those who read my answers fit into a specific political mold? Are certain people more likely to get fired up and responsive than others?

These questions are impossible to answer. All I have is assumptions and observations. And even so, I think they are both interesting and informative.

Applauding Israel?

Let’s assume that Quora users represent a swath of the world’s population. They are from a wide variety of countries and cultures, and could thus be seen as a microcosm of the world at large. And let’s assume issues related to Israel on the global stage are ones that provoke thought and responses from diverse people across the political spectrum. Now let’s go back to my attempts to ignore the thoughts of those whose bias is or very well might be overtly biased, then I’m left with the following observations:

The world isn’t what the media or your social feed or world leaders or students on university campuses want you to think it is. The majority, perhaps even the vast majority, not only support Israel, but are extremely wary of Muslim extremism. They applaud Israel’s efforts to dismantle Hamas, seeing it as a mission that not only benefits the world, but one the other nations should be actively participating in as well.

A Glimmer of Hope

It’s impossible to know the truth.

But what I’m seeing gives me a glimmer of hope. Sure, there are people who respond to my answers blaming Israel for all that’s happening or comparing them to Nazis. But they’re the ones getting shouted down, not the other way around.

What if the world isn’t the way some people out there want us to see it?

What if Quora’s users represent a truer reality than the one others want represented?

I have certainly seen many times in my life where noise creates a false representation. There are communities in Israel where one particular demographic is a minority yet feels like the majority. Why? They’re the ones starting groups and programs. They’re the ones who are vocal when change is needed. They’re louder than others, and thus feel bigger.

Israel is loved?

To be sure, there are loads of people out there who hate Jews. And loads more who vehemently don’t support Israel.

I mean, even if it turned out that only 15% of the world hated Israel with a passion, that’s still over a billion people!

But what if the rest loved us? Or at least supported us or our right to exist?

But what if their support was quiet? It was in the shadows? Or it’s being actively downplayed by others?

The people of Israel know they’re in the right. Perhaps most others know it as well. Maybe it’s time for them to come out and tell the world.

The post Maybe the World Loves Israel? is featured at Jaffe World.

Lessons from the Road: How to be a Better Person

Enjoy!

I’ve now been on the road in Israel for a few months, something I was fairly certain I would never do. And I’ve been through the ringer.

I’ve tried parking in places way too small, while dozens of cars are honking behind me.

I’ve gotten trapped in an intersection after the light changes, forcing me out into no man’s land while enduring the arrogant and angry stares of all passersby, acting as if it’s never happened to them before.

And I’ve gotten caught in standstill traffic for an hour because an accident occurred and in all the melee and confusion, no one thought it might be a good idea to try to regulate the cars coming through on the side where the accident happened.

The Adventure of the Road

Yes, every minute is an adventure when you drive in this crazy country. Anything can happen, and usually does. There’s not a single moment where you get to relax and enjoy the experience. Your senses need to be turned up nice and high, or before you know it, you’ll be a statistic on the side of the road.

It’s not fun. But if observed carefully, the Israel motor vehicle adventure can be a fine way to observe human behavior, and learn a little more about what makes some humans better than others.

In some ways, the horrendous driving is a microcosm of some of the worst character traits I see here. If you do any of these things, it’s worth thinking long and hard about what it means about you.

Selfishness, the Checkpoint Way

The first is like this:

There are three lanes of cars lining up at a checkpoint in Gush Etzion. Everything is inching along at a snail’s pace. Several dozen cars are patiently hanging out in their lanes.

Then, from out of nowhere another vehicle appears right at the front of the line, trying to push their way into the mess of cars without the annoying wait the rest of us need to endure. At some point someone lets them in, not because of desire to help another but because the car has inserted itself so forcefully that not doing so might risk a nasty scratch on their vehicle.

This embodies the negative character trait of selfishness.

What kind of person thinks they’re so damn important they get to bypass everyone else, and everyone else’s discomfort, just so they can save some time and go first?

That’s the kind of person who might rip you off in a store because you have money in your pocket and they want it. They might treat you like hell in a government office, because they like to be moody and rude to those around them, and are uninterested in the possibility they might ruin someone else’s day.

Don’t be like these people. It sucks to wait behind a long line of cars. But it’s right. It’s fair. You’re not more important than everybody else. Just be patient and you’ll eventually make it to the other side. Yes, it will take a long time. Better to be trapped behind a dozen cars than to be an awful human being.

Patience, the Uncommon Virtue

And whereas selfishness is a lousy character trait, patience is and will always be a virtue.

The classic situation in Israel is the light turns green, and someone behind you is already slamming on their horn. Sure, it’s annoying. But it’s not the end of the world. And after a while, you can learn to just laugh it off.

Slightly less common is when the light turns green, but someone is blocking the path from the other direction and now the cars can’t move. We’ll come back to this in a minute, because sometimes it was a purposeful act, and other times just a blunder.

But I’m focused on the three dozen cars right now that start blaring their horns. What do they expect to happen? Will their horn magically make the car float up and away and no longer block the road? Will it send a poignant message to the offender that they’ve hurt others and cost them an abundance of time?

Nope. All it will do is create noise. Somewhere on that street is a nurse sleeping after a nightshift. Or a newborn baby. And because you can’t stomach not letting off your anger through your horn, no one gets to rest that day.

The Weaving Menace

But there’s an even worse person in the mix. Because whereas the horn is annoying and potentially detrimental to someone’s rest, the weaver is a menace, and can cause real damage.

The weaver–one who is zipping down the road way too fast, switching lanes left and right to get in front of any car he can– is the real enemy of the Israel driving experience, combining the aforementioned impatience and selfishness, with a reckless nature that keeps the roads both stressful and extremely unsafe.

There was one day fairly recently in which I watched a weaver zig zag through the roads like life had no consequences, all to get that sweet, sweet advantage of being in front of just one more vehicle.

At best this type of driving will ultimately save the driver just a few minutes here and there on a crowded street. At worst it will do nothing for them at all. I saw that same driver, that imp who blazed his way through the streets without a care in the world, sitting right in front of me at a red light. His bobbing and weaving didn’t even work in the long run. He ended up ahead of some cars… and moments later was right beside them once again.

But it’s even worse than that!

Your Needs Don’t Come First

That road had accidents every day. One of those accidents caused me well over an hour of standstill traffic. When I finally passed it, there was broken pieces of multiple vehicles all over the road.

Accidents like that don’t usually happen when the drivers collectively choose to drive safely. They happen when someone puts their own needs above those of the community, and drives dangerously because it suits their wishes.

But that day it didn’t work. That day they caused themselves extreme delay, and others excessive misery. And they did it to multiple others as well. And on top of that, caused an aggregate of several days of wasted time, when you consider the length of the delay and the amount of cars it impacted.

Your inane need to be in front of another car caused pain and hardship to yourself and countless other people.

Don’t be like this guy.

Don’t be like any of these people!

The post Lessons from the Road: How to be a Better Person is featured at Jaffe World.

The First Female President

Enjoy!

Unsurprisingly, after the last presidential debate there have been many folk shouting for President Biden to step down and let a new reality attempt to grab the presidency. It’s quite understandable.

I hate that it’s about age, because there are so many people as old if not older than Biden who are killing it. They can do almost anything. And probably should! But those who denied that he was losing his step simply cannot deny it any longer, and now they’re desperately trying to figure out what to do next.

Kamala Harris as the First Female President

There’s an obvious way to go about this. The powers that be can attempt to invoke the 25th amendment, declaring Biden unfit to continue serving the nation as president. Kamala Harris would then assume the presidency and would likely oppose Donald Trump in the upcoming election.

And I think it’s a wildly bad idea.

Why?

Because Kamala Harris is a woman.

(crickets)

But before you seethe with anger and punch me in the face through your computer screen, please hear me out for a second.

Celebration of Progress

Having a woman president would be a tremendous milestone. Anyone with a shred of knowledge of the history of the United States understands that this would be no simple achievement. I remember when Obama was elected. I wasn’t a fan of his politics or his speaking style, despite everyone around me raving about every word that left his mouth. But I got swept up in the excitement. America had made progress that was hundreds of years in the making. Progress the whole word could acknowledge as monumental.

And a female president would be just as glorious, if not more so.

But how we get there is important too.

There is no part of me opposed to the concept of a woman president. Or any race, religion, or any group out there. I’d like a decent person with good ideas. And that is certainly not dependent on externalities. There are great and crappy people in every group.

But there are two very strong reasons I believe Biden stepping down and handing the presidency over to Harris is a terrible, very shortsighted idea.

Wildly Unpopular

The first reasons is that Kamala Harris is wildly unpopular. Besides the fact that she was very much not chosen to run for president in 2020, partially because of a poor debate performance and getting dismantled by Tulsi Gabbard, she has been a very lackluster Vice President. From my limited perspective, she was given one task in the past several years, and she botched it. More than anything, she has been silent and barely noticed, popping out on occasion to create cringy and unimpressive Channukah videos.

The United States of America absolutely could and should have a woman president. But its first female president should be someone glorious. Someone impressive. Someone we can all look back at with immense pride.

But that’s small in comparison to the second reason I think it’s a bad idea.

Take the Presidency

Several years ago a friend of mine posted about how men should step aside and give women a turn to run the country. I took issue with this idea. And my issue has nothing to do with opposition to a woman president. Quite the opposite, in fact. First off, there are plenty of crappy women in the world, just like there are crappy men in the world. I don’t want a female president. I want a good president. Making everything about gender is a big mistake.

But more than that, women shouldn’t be given anything. If they want the presidency, they should take it! And they have all the means in the world to do so.

Ronda Rousey and Caitlyn Clark

When I think about a woman president, I can’t help but think about women’s sports. I’ll never forget the first time a women’s fight was the main event for a major UFC event. I watched it live from a sports bar in Kansas City… standing in the back because there was a three-hour wait to get a seat.

How did Ronda Rousey gain her fame and fortune? Talent, hard work, and a unique and interesting personality. She shocked everyone with exciting fights and powerful interviews. And before you knew it, she was on top of the world. She was a household name. She was dominating the world of combat sports. Before then, this was unthinkable. And now women’s fighting is an integral part of the Mixed Martial Arts world.

The whole world is watching Caitlyn Clark and her meteoric rise to fame. Did she get there because some men decided the time had come to give the lady folk a chance? Was she handed her success on a silver platter? Not at all. She performed outstandingly well, and continues to do so. And her charming and humble personality create a total package that yanks people to stadiums to watch WNBA games, something that for many sounds like a giant joke.

A Greater Goal

We’re in it to win it in this world. I don’t want a female president who was handed her job and is hated by all American society, who is later replaced by a male. I want a foundation laid where female presidents are normal. Commonplace. Not a fluke situation that results in not having another female president for another century.

Ultimately there are two ways to get to the presidency that make sense to me. The best is to earn it. To have the best candidate, who wows the American population and makes the choice easy for the masses.

But there’s always option number two: Take the presidency!

Don’t be a Default

Like many, I find it annoying hearing women complain about the lack of viewership of women’s sports. Who exactly are you complaining about? Last I checked, at least half of the American population is female. If no one’s coming out to watch the WNBA, you only have yourselves to blame. You’re either not watching sports at all, or you’re also only watching the men’s sports. You can’t fault men for their preferences, especially if you agree with them.

So if you want female sports to take over, you know where to click. You know where to buy tickets. Take over the industry. You have the numbers to make anything happen.

And if you want the presidency, take that too!

But for God’s sake, don’t allow the first female in the Oval Office to get there by default. That does little to nothing to advance this world forward.

The post The First Female President is featured at Jaffe World.

What Would You Do To Get Hostages Home?

Enjoy!

I recently answered a question in Quora that reminded me of a Dvar Torah I wrote many moons ago that got me in a bit of hot water.

Here’s the question and answer.

The general gist: Someone asked how Israel could justify killing hundreds of Palestinians in the process of rescuing just a few hostages. The basic theme of my answer was there’s no bodycount too high. Terrorists stole people and hid them among civilians. They composed their own death sentences. The instant those hostages are discovered, the gloves must come off immediately. It’s acceptable to through heaven and earth to get them back to their families.

The vast majority of responses I’ve received to my answer have been positive. Yes, there’s always a propaganda hound or two who will shout at me and call me a liar and throw accusations against me or Israel without evidence.

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t voices of dissent worth listening to.

Yaakov’s Daughter

The world has changed a bit in the twenty years since I wrote about Yaakov’s daughter Dina. A super-quick story refresher: His daughter was kidnapped and raped, and whereas Yaakov (Jacob) wished to negotiate, two of his sons had a different idea. They went ahead and slaughtered the entire town, either for perpetrating this disgusting act, or for harboring those who committed it.

Yaakov was quite displeased with his sons’ behavior. But my article expressed sympathy with their actions.

Why? Because Yaakov confused me. Possibly more so than anyone in the entire Bible. And the sons actions made sense to me. Maybe they went too far. But who wouldn’t be filled with violent rage after finding out that someone in their family was seriously harmed by some repugnant figure, and was nonchalantly being harbored by those who just wished to talk the matter over!?

Maybe some among us might look back a few days later and realize his actions were extreme. Maybe. But that doesn’t change how far most of us are willing to go when the people we care about most are threatened.

Uninterested in Extremes

So when I said the IDF was more than justified to save the lives of a few hostages, the responses were varied. I received everything from those saying it was unacceptable to those who felt the full destruction of Gaza would have been warranted. One should keep in mind there are plenty of folk who have expressed the latter approach since October 7th. In their minds the attack should have resulted in a response from us that took out the entire region, regardless of any details, and regardless of whether or not people we harmed were in any way connected to Hamas’s attack against Israel.

The extreme responses on either side don’t interest me. I am not interested in those who accuse Israel of apartheid or say something insane like killing others to get our hostages back is valuing our people’s lives more than there’s. Anyone with a shred of knowledge about Israel or the concept of apartheid knows how wrong these accusations are. And those who say we value our people’s lives more, you’re right. We put the lives of our captured people before the lives of those who kidnapped them or harbored them. I say that unapologetically.

And if anyone truly innocent was killed or harmed in the rescue operation, I am sorry this occurred. It’s a tragedy. But it’s on the heads of those who stashed hostages there, not Israel. The fate was written by the perpetrators of an atrocity.

Blemished Soul

But I am also uninterested in the opinion off those who say to burn all of Gaza to the ground.

I am not bloodthirsty. And I’m not interested in revenge. I want safety. I want justice. And I want peace.

The deaths of tens of thousands of people might be necessary to achieve those goals. But if it is not, I don’t want it.

I like culture. I love diversity. And I long for a world where we can be more than just tolerant of our neighbors, but we can be friends. We can feel comfortable and safe in each other’s places, and benefit from what we all have to offer.

Nothing good comes from the mass, random killing of people. And I think the net result would be disastrous. Yes, technically we’d be safer. But at what cost! Not only would our image be forever tainted historically, but the blemish on our souls would be overpowering.

Real Lives at Stake

But there are a lot of opinions in between these two extremes. And when I address these questions, that’s who I am speaking to. That’s where sanity lies. It is extremely possibly to value Israel’s safety and the lives of the hostages more than anything else and still feel taking additional lives is not glorious. We can be overjoyed about the return of the hostages, and think all lives taken to get them home was 100% justified, but still feel remorse if there is a Palestinian mother mourning over the loss of her child who got caught in the crosshairs.

I believe one could be a perfectly good and moral person and still support ripping through the world to get innocent people home to their families. In fact, I think it reflects quite poorly on your moral character if you take issue with this approach. We glorify when Liam Neeson kills his way through the world to retrieve his kidnapped daughter or even when Keanu Reeves goes on a murder spree to avenge his dead dog. But when real people are sitting in a tunnel fearing for their lives for eight months, all of a sudden people become a bit squeamish when some eggs need to get broken to get them home.

Freed Hostages and Unnecessary Death

I’ll say two ideas, with pride. With my head way up high.

I do not want a single unnecessary death to happen in this war. If there were a new weapon that allowed the IDF to take out all of Hamas without harming any non-terrorist elements, I’d strongly advocate its usage.

However, it’s our collective family rotting in Gaza. And I see no problem in ripping the place apart, doing whatever it takes to bring them home.

And I see no contradiction whatsoever.

The post What Would You Do To Get Hostages Home? is featured at Jaffe World.