Vicki Enns's Blog, page 4

Tools for Collaborative Counselling

Counselling is a collaborative effort between counsellor and client. This shared process means each person involved has agency and responsibility to move it forward. However, it is also very normal for the amount of motivation, energy, and focus that each person brings to vary across meetings, and even at different points in a conversation. It’s like sharing access to the steering wheel in a car – in some counselling conversations, it is optimal for the client to be in the driver’s seat, steering the direction of the conversation; at other points, it is helpful if the counsellor is behind the wheel, providing guidance and focus.

Counselling is a collaborative effort between counsellor and client.

Although this would not be a good design for an actual car, perhaps the optimal design for the counselling process is when the steering wheel can be smoothly shifted between participants. Or maybe they even have joint access to the wheel to choose the direction or next part of the journey. There are times, however, when there are obstacles to moving forward. The process can feel stuck, and it can be tempting as a counsellor to take over the steering wheel at these points and fall into a role that involves more teaching, telling, pushing, or pulling the client.

Another option at these moments is to intentionally invite the client back behind the steering wheel, with some support. Worksheets or reflective questions are one way to provide this support because they allow the client’s voice to come forward to help guide the next step. As described in the Change and Planning section of the Counselling Activities Workbook, counsellors can help clients find their own motivation for change by becoming a trusted ally and highlighting change talk when they hear it. This is like being a trusted passenger in the car, who looks up helpful information in the car manual and keeps the conversation going to support the driver to stay alert, engaged, and focused.

It’s normal for the amount of motivation, energy, and focus that each person brings to vary across meetings, and even at different points in a conversation.

Case Study Example: Mateo

What follows is an example of using a worksheet to help get the client back in the driver’s seat and direct focus in a counselling conversation. This is an example from my own work, but the names have been changed to protect the clients’ identity.

Mateo and I had been meeting for counselling sessions for several weeks. When we started, one of his goals was to finally quit smoking. Mateo described his 13-year-old daughter voicing concern, a family history of lung- and respiratory-related health concerns, and his own recent health scare with pneumonia all contributing to this becoming a primary focus for him.

After a couple of sessions getting connected and exploring his history along with other immediate concerns, I invited a shift toward intentionally focusing on his goal of quitting smoking. Mateo welcomed this focus and was very engaged in a conversation exploring his relationship with tobacco and the act of smoking. It very much felt like we were sharing the steering wheel.

We collaboratively discussed possible steps as well as barriers for Mateo as he engaged with this goal. Mateo expressed hopefulness and confidence in these conversations. I was also feeling the positivity and satisfaction of feeling helpful and able to support someone so motivated to move ahead with change. This amplified my surprise in the next couple of sessions as Mateo did not move forward on his own steps, and indeed seemed to be losing motivation as he expressed feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and self-critical.

At the end of a second conversation that felt like I was juggling both a pull to cheerlead Mateo forward and find a way to stay meaningfully connected with his feelings of being disheartened, I realized I now felt like I was alone at the steering wheel, straining to pull Mateo along on this journey. I knew my own feelings of frustration and helplessness were not helpful to Mateo, nor to my own ability to think creatively. I decided in our next conversation I needed to give the wheel back to Mateo, and I needed to shift back to being curious and learning from him what was needed next.

Worksheets are one way to provide support because they allow the client’s voice to come forward to help guide the next step.

To help with this step, I brought a worksheet titled Ready, Willing, and Able.

The purpose of this activity is to reflect on different elements of readiness to move forward on steps toward change. Using four scales measuring 1–10, a person is invited to explore:

Their level of confidence toward the changeTheir belief in the importance of this changeTheir ability to take the actual stepsTheir perceived sense of readiness and how realistic it is for them to act nowReady, Willing, and Able

Goal: To reduce the amount of cigarettes I am smoking each day

The worksheet includes scaling questions, asking the participant to consider the following 4 areas on a scale of 1 (not at all) to 10 (extremely).

Confidence – How confident would you say you are that you could make this change right now if you decided to?Importance – How important would you say it is to make this change right now?Ability – How able would you say you are to make this change right now?Readiness – How ready would you say you are to make this change right now?

Mateo was able to fill this worksheet out quickly, and as we reviewed it together, we both encountered something surprising. He had scaled the three areas of confidence, importance, and ability all at high numbers, between 8 and 10. What was surprising was the Readiness scale. He circled a two (close to “not ready at all”). I asked Mateo, “When you read the question, ‘How ready are you to make this change?’ what went through your mind?” Mateo replied, “The first thing I thought was not at all!” This was like Mateo turning on the signal light, and we needed to take a turn in our focus.

As we explored this “two” score of readiness, Mateo was able to identify that right now he is extremely worried about being the best dad he can be for his daughter. She is starting puberty, experiencing changes in her body, friends, and emotions. Mateo is a single parent without a lot of family support, so he’s feeling overwhelmed about how to navigate this important phase of her life and keep their relationship strong.

However, he was able to start to untangle his “stuck” feelings. On one hand he could clearly identify that quitting smoking was a great wish of hers and would be very beneficial to his health. But on the other hand, it was his reliable “friend’ to manage stress and keep his mood calmer to help conversations with his daughter go well. We shifted our next conversations to this area of Mateo’s family life. It once again felt like Mateo was at the steering wheel, and I could hold the map offering navigational support.

Reflection activities are one tool that can assist with these moments that are so common and essential to productive and collaborative counselling work.

This experience was a strong reminder of the importance of ensuring the person I’m supporting is fully involved in deciding the direction of our counselling work. And that “stuckness” can be like a stoplight indicating we need to consult our map and plan, and perhaps take a turn down a more important road. Reflection activities are one tool that can assist with these moments that are so common and essential to productive and collaborative counselling work.

The Counselling Activities Workbook contains 147 different worksheets or activities. There are 12 different sections representing a wide variety of counselling topics. Additional activities in the workbook include questionnaires, worksheets, reflective exercises, mapping activities, safety plans, and coping strategies.

The 12 sections of counselling activities are:

Change and PlanningCoping and StressSelf-awareness and Self-esteemCognitive Behavioural Strategies Body and MovementBreathingMindfulness and CalmingEmotionsSafety PlansConnecting and RelationshipsCommunicationConflict

For more information about ordering the Counselling Activities Workbook, please visit our website.

For more FREE RESOURCES on this topic and others, visit our free resources page.

Author: Vicki Enns (MMFT, RMFT)
Clinical Director, Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute

Vicki is a co-author of CTRI’s latest book, Counselling in Relationships –  Insights for Helping Families Develop Healthy Connections. The book is available on our website.

To receive notification of a new blog posting, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
© CTRI Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute (www.ctrinstitute.com)
Interested in using the content of this blog? Learn more here. 

The post Tools for Collaborative Counselling appeared first on Crisis and Trauma Resource Institute.

5 Ways to Experience Joy Through Your Senses

The new year often heralds a time of reflection, change, and rejuvenation. However, the pandemic we’re currently living through has...

How to Use Counselling Activities to Support Change

The goal of counselling is to support people as they move toward their goals of managing themselves, their life issues, and their relationships. This often works best as a collaborative process between counsellor and client, to create the conditions to support change. Each counsellor will have their own favourite ways for participating in or guiding this process. In my own counselling work, I try to have enough flexibility to match my own framework and knowledge with the client’s own wisdom and preferred ways of doing things.

Much of mental health counselling is based on conversation and requires counsellors to employ good listening skills, ask good questions, and provide psychoeducation. It can also be extremely helpful to provide tangible tools like worksheets, handouts, or exercises at different points to deepen or clarify things. I have found there are four common points in the counselling process when I might reach for tools like this:

When the client is struggling to find and clarify goals

It is not uncommon for people to talk to a counsellor, knowing they or someone else would like some kind of relief, change, or resolution to a struggle in life, but not have any ideas for what to do about the situation.

It can be extremely helpful to provide tangible tools like worksheets, handouts, or exercises at different points in the counselling process.

If they are struggling to choose a goal to focus on

Others will come to a counselling session and have many ideas of what they want to work on. However, this list may be too long or overwhelming to tackle all at once. That’s why helping them sort through their priorities, what is realistic, and what is most likely to move them toward their goals can be an important part of the counselling process.

To notice and mark progress

At any point in the counselling process, people may feel stalled or unsure if things are changing in a helpful way. It can be beneficial to occasionally step back to review what’s different, what’s staying the same, and what’s new.

To provide practical support along the way

Active counselling work can be challenging and take a lot of energy. Practical tools, activities, and worksheets can provide helpful structure for the inner work that is ongoing.

One example of when I have used a worksheet to help a client choose a goal to focus on was in my work with someone I’ll call Janet. We had been working together in counselling for about three months. I knew a lot about Janet’s life at this point, and she was comfortable with the process of our conversations and said she found them helpful. However, she would often struggle with feeling overwhelmed when she was spending time with family members, who were involved in many parts of her life. Janet described feeling like all her issues would come up together, and she would feel stuck without knowing what to do differently as a result.

Janet could easily identify things she would like to change in these relationships. Examples included (among others):

Getting along better with her motherBeing able to manage her anger with her teenage sonBeing less reactive to her brother when he makes suggestionsLetting go of old hurt from her past relationship with her father

Janet described thinking about all of these goals simultaneously and feeling helpless to change any of them. We had talked about these relationships many times, and it seemed we needed a way to help Janet find a focus for realistic change. After talking it through, Janet realized each of these goals had many layers to them, and we needed to break them into more manageable pieces.

Practical tools, activities, and worksheets can provide helpful structure for the inner work that is ongoing.

A new resource from CTRI is the Counselling Activities Workbook, which contains a wide variety of worksheets, including several that can help with this sort of goal setting. To help Janet with her goal, we chose an activity from the Change and Planning section of the workbook called Identifying Your Barriers to Change.

From her four relationship goals, Janet chose one that she felt more hopeful about because of the influence she had over the situation. Then we used the worksheet to explore barriers and possible steps within that goal. Janet noted her experience of control or choice related to each barrier, and we brainstormed possible steps.

Goal: Be less reactive to my brother when he makes suggestions

What stops you from achieving your goal? How much control do you have over this factor?

(High, medium, or low?)

What are some possible solutions?

 

 

I think about all the past times he has been bossy and told me what to do

 

Medium

 

• I can write these thoughts and feelings down and reflect on them later.

• I can practice focusing on the present situation only

His voice gets loudLow• I can’t make him change. I can ask him to use a different tone  

As soon as he starts talking, I get upset

 

Medium – high

• I can predict this, so I can prepare myself ahead

• I can calm myself down beforehand

• I can choose when to ask him for his opinion so he feels heard

The exercise of reflecting and writing down the different barriers within one goal helped Janet slow down her thinking. This allowed her to realize that it made sense she got overwhelmed since there was a lot going on at the same time! The chart also showed Janet that there are times when she has more influence and choice and others when she has less. Together we planned how she could focus her energy on what she had more choice and influence over. This helped her feel more hopeful and focused the next time she spent time with her brother.

Using a worksheet like this one in your counselling work can provide structured support for thinking through a particular challenge. By doing an activity with your client or reviewing it after they’ve filled it out themselves, your counselling conversations can have greater direction and depth. It can spark new ideas for your client and help you discover and explore other important areas to help support the change process.

The Counselling Activities Workbook contains 147 different worksheets divided among 12 sections that each represent a different counselling topic. There are questionnaires, worksheets, reflective exercises, mapping activities, safety plans, and coping strategies to help support your counselling work.

The 12 sections of counselling activities are:

Change and PlanningCoping and StressSelf-Awareness and Self-EsteemCognitive Behavioural Strategies Body and MovementBreathingMindfulness and CalmingEmotionsSafety PlansConnecting and RelationshipsCommunicationConflict

Click here for more information and to order the Counselling Activities Workbook.

For more FREE RESOURCES on this topic and others, visit our free resources page.

Author: Vicki Enns (MMFT, RMFT)
Clinical Director, Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute

Vicki is a co-author of CTRI’s latest book, Counselling in Relationships –  Insights for Helping Families Develop Healthy Connections. The book is available on our website.

To receive notification of a new blog posting, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
© CTRI Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute (www.ctrinstitute.com)
Interested in using the content of this blog? Learn more here. 

The post How to Use Counselling Activities to Support Change appeared first on Crisis and Trauma Resource Institute.

How to Improve Well-Being Through Grit and Gratitude

What promotes positive mental, emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual health? This can sometimes be a frustrating pursuit, with confusing and contradictory messages of what we need to become more resilient and improve our overall well-being. Most of us already do many things in our daily lives in the hope of staying or becoming healthier. I have been encouraged by my discovery that one of the most beneficial things we can do is build on qualities we already have within us – grit and gratitude.

 

Gratitude

There is a growing body of research that highlights the benefits of what many of us have been taught as essential to being well in this world – noticing what you are grateful for in life. It turns out that taking time to notice, name, and express gratitude has many positive impacts:

Reduction in stress, depression, and hopelessnessImproved sleep and overall moodIncreased sense of motivation and agency in lifeExpanded sense of positive self-esteemImproved relationships and greater appreciation of othersDeepened sense of spiritualityIncreased creativity and opennessIncreased hopefulness

One of the most beneficial things we can do is build on qualities we already have within us – grit and gratitude.

When we cultivate a positive outlook and take time to really notice, absorb, and express gratitude, we are deepening an important state in our mind and body. The positive effects ripple into other parts of our experience and into our relationships. However, one catch is that gratitude is notably fleeting. Although it is readily accessible, it is easy to lose a hold of it, and our attention can move quickly to focus more on what we find stressful. Our natural survival instincts push us back toward watching out for what worries us, and problems we may be facing resurface and grab our attention.

Which brings me to the other quality we all need . . . grit.

Grit

What do you rely on to get you through a tough day? What behaviours, supports, or messages do you reach for to help you continue to show up and carry on? We all have patterns of coping – in how we think, collaborate, or sustain ourselves when we face challenges. One word for this quality, supported by the research of Angela Duckworth, is grit. Each person’s grit will look different, and we may use it to different degrees. When we are able to tap into our grit, the benefits include:

Increased ability to persevereExpanded response and ability to adapt to challengesPersistence to face our fearsGrowth in self-esteem and confidenceIncreased hopefulnessDevelopment of a growth mindsetIncreased likelihood of achieving positive changeLong-term success and satisfaction

Your grit is fueled by what matters to you – do you have particular goals you’re pursuing? What do you care about and feel passion for?

The more aware we are of our purpose and passion, the grittier we will become!

Building on Grit and Gratitude

In some ways, these two qualities can seem somewhat contradictory. Gratitude requires us to pause, relinquish our push for change, and shift to noticing the positive things that are already in our lives and relationships. Grit allows us to keep moving, to notice and confront what might be challenging or feel negative in our lives – it propels us into more adaptable change.

Taking a small amount of time to consistently notice what already matters to you can greatly increase your mental, emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual well-being.

There is an interesting and symbiotic relationship between these two qualities. When I have a hard time accessing gratitude, it’s my grit that I rely on to cope with a challenging situation. When I feel depleted and far from gritty, pausing to connect with gratitude refuels my hope and energy for perseverance.

What is encouraging to me about the benefit of both these qualities is how accessible they are to each of us.

Here is how you can access more of the benefits of your grit and gratitude:

Observe it. Take a moment to name one thing you are grateful for and one thing that helps you persevere.Express it. Journal, write it down, or say it out loud to yourself or a friend. Draw it, sing it, or build or sculpt it. Making it a bit more tangible in some ways will deepen its meaning and help you absorb the benefits.Practice it. Choose a way to regularly practice the first two steps. The research about both gratitude and grit clearly reveals the importance of developing patterns and habits that bring us to openly and regularly connect with these qualities.

Taking a small amount of time to consistently notice what already matters to you can greatly increase your mental, emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual well-being. Knowing what you are grateful for and what you find challenging about this allows you to tap into this powerful tension between gratitude and grit – building on one helps fuel and nurture the other. In the end, your well-being and relationships will be strengthened by tapping into these inherent qualities.

For more FREE RESOURCES on this topic and others, visit our free resources page.

Author: Vicki Enns (MMFT, RMFT)
Clinical Director, Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute

Vicki is a co-author of CTRI’s latest book, Counselling in Relationships –  Insights for Helping Families Develop Healthy Connections. The book is available on our website.

To receive notification of a new blog posting, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
© CTRI Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute (www.ctrinstitute.com)
Interested in using the content of this blog? Learn more here. 

The post How to Improve Well-Being Through Grit and Gratitude appeared first on Crisis and Trauma Resource Institute.

5 Principles of Trauma-Informed Workplaces

The following information comes from A Little Book about Trauma-Informed Workplaces, written by myself, Randy Grieser, and Vicki Enns. Trauma...

5 Principles of Trauma-Informed Workplaces

The following information comes from A Little Book about Trauma-Informed Workplaces, written by myself, Randy Grieser, and Vicki Enns.

Trauma is prevalent in our world and its effects can ripple out, shaping our interactions and relationships at home and at work. It even affects whole organizations by impacting the ways in which we do our work, serve our clients, and achieve our missions.

 

A trauma-informed workplace focuses on five principles:

Promote AwarenessShift AttitudesFoster SafetyProvide ChoiceHighlight StrengthsPromote Awareness

In trauma-informed organizations, leaders and employees are aware of the pervasiveness of trauma and its significance in people’s lives. Becoming aware of trauma is not about taking on the role of a trauma specialist. It is about being prepared for the possibility that someone has been impacted by trauma, preventing further harm, and understanding the role each of us can play in promoting individual and collective well-being.

Trauma is prevalent in our world and its effects can ripple out, shaping our interactions and relationships at home and at work.

Educating staff about trauma is integral to generating awareness. All those who work in the organization should be provided with opportunities to grow in their awareness of the prevalence and impacts of trauma and apply this learning to their work.

Promoting awareness also involves assessment, consideration of policies, and ensuring principles continue to be practiced over the long term:

By completing CTRI’s Trauma-Informed Workplace Assessment, individuals and organizations can gain a more accurate picture of their approach to trauma-informed principles.Policies should be evaluated and updated with an eye toward enhancing principles. Feedback from staff and clients should be included in this process.Establish some form of ongoing “champion(s)” of trauma-informed principles in your workplace. Champions or committees with this role can be responsible for promoting trauma awareness and monitoring the organization’s evolving long-term progress in embracing trauma-informed principles.Shift Attitudes

While trauma awareness is valuable at a knowledge level, an attitude shift is necessary in order to change how we engage with people. By shifting attitudes, we are able to put our awareness of trauma into action. This shift impacts the questions we ask and creates a mindset of curious empathy that we can bring to our interactions. It is demonstrated by responding to people, organizations, and communities in ways that reflect awareness of the role trauma can have. When we shift our attitudes, our biases recede and healthy responses to trauma become the norm.

One of our favourite sayings at CTRI is “Shift judgement to curiosity.” At the heart of this saying is a call to approach a person’s behaviour with openness and interest. For example, instead of thinking “What is wrong with you?” when responding to challenging behaviours, consider asking “What has happened that might be leading to this behaviour?” The problematic question of “What is wrong with you?” reflects a reactive attitude that implies blame and a deficit in the person. In contrast, by withholding judgement and taking a moment to internally wonder what has happened that could explain this behaviour, we are acknowledging that trauma might be influencing this person. In this way, we are separating the person from the behaviour.

Foster Safety

One of the central aspects of trauma is the experience of a threat to physical or psychological safety. When an organization does not give attention to safety, it can make both staff and clients vulnerable and create barriers to engagement. Therefore, fostering safety helps reduce the impact of past damaging experiences.

In trauma-informed organizations, leaders and employees are aware of the pervasiveness of trauma and its significance in people’s lives.

Fostering a safe environment requires a wholistic approach and paying close attention to the varying needs of different people. These can range from the physical, such as the need for adequate lighting and safety rails, to the psychological, which could include how safe clients feel within your office or managing disrespectful behaviour.

Safety protocols cannot be enacted from the top down or created in isolation without considering how they impact everyone in the organization. Instead, safety is best fostered collectively in relationship with each other. In a sense, we co-create safe environments when each person within the organization takes on a responsibility to make safe decisions and people believe others have their best interests in mind.

Provide Choice

Another significant aspect of traumatic events is the lack of choice and control that people experience. The helplessness felt in an overwhelmingly threatening situation can leave lasting imprints on a person’s sense of power to take back control over their lives. It’s not uncommon for staff or clients to feel powerless and unable to influence the way they do their work or receive an organization’s services. Therefore, it’s important for trauma-informed workplaces to provide meaningful opportunities for choice.

Effectively creating opportunities for choice requires all leadership and staff to work collaboratively and strive toward what’s best for everyone, not just what’s best for a few. At times, it will require us to respect the choices and voices that run contrary to – or even challenge – the status quo. These challenging voices are to be expected, and it is through these conversations that we can begin to create healthier, more trauma-informed workplaces.

Highlight Strengths

Every person has inherent strengths that help them survive. For people who have come through traumatic experiences, highlighting strengths is especially relevant because it helps to emphasize and build up their inherent resilience. After all, they have survived because of their strengths and have found new and creative ways to live and overcome obstacles.

Unique individual and collective strengths can be found by getting to know each other and recognizing the inherent resources and resilience each person brings. When we learn about and engage with experiences and perspectives that differ from our own, our biases are corrected and we become more respectful of differences, breaking down barriers that can cause tension and conflict. This enables us to develop new and empowered ways of relating and being in community together.

 

We envision a world where everyone is trauma-informed, and our hope is that these five principles will help your organization join us on this path. We offer the principles as a starting place for evaluating your workplace and beginning your journey. While we have outlined the principles in distinct sections, applying them is anything but linear. The process of becoming trauma-informed is a unique path with a different timeline for each of us and every organization.

For more FREE RESOURCES on this topic and others, visit our free resources page.

Author: Nathan Gerbrandt (MSW, RSW)
Managing Director, Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute

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© CTRI Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute (www.ctrinstitute.com)
Interested in using the content of this blog? Learn more here.

The post 5 Principles of Trauma-Informed Workplaces appeared first on Crisis and Trauma Resource Institute.

How to Practice Self-Care for Zoom Fatigue

For many counsellors, the use of technology has become central to how we do our counselling work over this last year. Because of this, I have become increasingly aware of the reality of “Zoom fatigue,” which can be applied to any type of technology. In addition to so much change while navigating the pandemic, it’s also useful to focus on the specific effects of the added time in front of a computer screen. Part of this process is weighing the rewards against the costs of doing online counselling.

We assess rewards both externally – In terms of time management, income, and opportunities – and internally – in our nervous system, body, and emotional well-being. When the scales tip toward more costs, we feel more fatigue. If the costs lessen and the rewards increase, the challenges can be invigorating and help us feel more alert, interested, and satisfied.

Ensuring there is time to unwind, shift your attention, and absorb your day is key to building resilience.

When I first shifted to providing online counselling sessions, I attributed a lot of the extra stress and how tired I felt to the amount of external changes in my life overall. There were a lot of “costs,” but the reward was contributing to a collective effort of surviving the pandemic.

As time goes on, I’m realizing there is a specific layer of internal stress connected to the use of technology itself. However, I’m also starting to appreciate the benefits of this way of working more. This got me curious about tangible ways I can reduce stress and increase well-being and resilience through my telehealth work – how can I tip the scale so that the rewards of working with technology outweigh the costs?

The benefits or rewards of using online or telehealth platforms for counselling continue to be clear:Increased ease of accessibility for many people; bypassing mobility, geographical, and transportation barriersIncreased flexibility for scheduling without the need for commutingNovel opportunities for client’s comfort in their own environment and giving them more choiceVariety and flexibility in my own workdayThe costs or challenges specific to using technology for this work have also become more apparent:Clinically, assessment and support of some mental health vulnerability is harder without as much access to body language or subtle shifts in voice tone and energyTechnology glitches such as an unstable internet connection or the normal delays in communication can add to a feeling of disconnectionCommunication rhythms are slightly different, making it harder to understand and form responses; with more lag between people speaking, this can unconsciously add to a feeling of disconnection or result in interruptions and talking over each other; less mutual eye contact can also add to a feeling of disconnectionPhysical strain increases from sitting or being in one spot; strain on eyes from looking at a screen for so long; strain from trying to hear and listen well when navigating fluctuating sound levels and the shifts in rhythm of the conversation

What are small, tangible steps that can make technology more user-friendly? How can we use it to support our work rather than wrestling with it while we try to support others? How can we reduce some of the felt costs of using technology to capitalize on the positive opportunities it can offer? How can we increase work satisfaction and overall well-being? I’ve started to think about this in three different stages of a workday:

Stage 1: Going to Work

Taking some steps to prepare myself, my environment, and my processes helps lessen zoom fatigue and promote ease:

A workspace that supports you and the workThis includes the physical layout of the space, such as good lighting that shows your face but doesn’t shine in your eyes. This also helps clients read your facial expressions and body language. Having pleasant surroundings such as plants, pictures, and colours that you like, along with a generally orderly space, can also improve you and your client’s online counselling experience.Managing potential distractionsThis includes turning off your other devices so you can focus on your clients. Communicating with your family so they know when you need privacy and no interruptions also allows you to feel more focused.Arranging your screen so it is eye level and allows eye contact to be more possible without leaning forward will help you engage with the client more fully. Good support for your back and the option to stand or sit allows physical flexibility.Adapting informed consent formsOrienting clients to consider similar steps for their own environment and contribute to a private, focused space sets the stage for more successful and satisfying sessions.Thinking through and articulating a plan for crisis support when you are meeting online is helpful to discuss ahead of time.

How can we tip the scale so that the rewards of working with technology outweigh the costs?

Stage 2: Doing the Work

Practical steps for using technology to support the clinical work can greatly ease Zoom fatigue:

Collaboratively monitor your environmentTogether discuss distance from camera, privacy, and troubleshoot challenges such as managing pets or other needs that might arise from being in one’s home.If counselling children or youth, include conversations with other family members to help with setting up their environment and to check in on technical challenges.Reduce physical and mental strainSome prefer to turn their video off so it is less distracting, while others find it useful to use the video of themselves to deepen their awareness of presence and facial expressions. Choosing what fits for you can make this more of a tool rather than an assumed part of the technology.Consider using headphones if that helps you hear more clearly. It can also free up energy lost from straining to hear or managing fluctuating audio levels.Build in breaksSchedule time to move during the day. This might be between sessions or meetings when you go up and down some stairs, or even during sessions by doing some stretching, movements and physical grounding.Ensuring there is time to unwind, shift your attention, and absorb your day is key to building resilience.Consider the weight of your work – some sessions are more emotionally taxing, and you may need time to process them.During sessions, use your environment to look out a window occasionally or reflect on a painting. This is consistent with how we would be in person – we look around occasionally to orient ourselves within our environment. This helps us reflect, integrate, and regulate.

 

Stage 3: Leaving Work

Even though I am working in my home, I have come to realize the importance of the transition out of work and the impact of technology:

Physical Do eye care. Close your eyes and slowly rotate your gaze like a clock. Slowly continue until your eyes can make a fluid circular motion. This is very relaxing for the inner eye muscles.Place your palms over your closed eyes and lean forward. Imagine you are allowing your eyes to relax. This supports the deep eye muscles.Exercise in a way you enjoy. Move your body and open up your posture.MentalPractice keeping your attention in the present and over the short term to manage external stress. Each day identify what you can be grateful for, and something tech-free to look forward to, such as food you’ll eat, a conversation with a friend, or a creative hobby. Considering and limiting your overall screen time, including social media, television, and using your smartphone can also help.Have a clear end to the workday. Working from home can make it too easy to answer one more email or do a few more tasks. Give yourself a clear sense of being “off.”Social and EmotionalTap into your own support. Talking to others who will listen to you whether in a formal or informal way is so important. Give yourself a chance to empty out what you’ve absorbed from the day. It may be helpful to do this using a different modality. If you are using a video platform all day, pick up the phone or go for a walk and talk.

As technology becomes more central in my counselling practice, learning small steps to shift it to be a positive tool as part of my workflow can help the work feel more rewarding. Shifting to a proactive stance of managing how I use technology makes it feel more like an asset to my practice rather than something I tolerate. These small steps are important contributors to my overall resilience as a counsellor.

For more FREE RESOURCES on this topic and others, visit our free resources page.

Author: Vicki Enns (MMFT, RMFT)
Clinical Director, Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute

Vicki is a co-author of CTRI’s latest book, Counselling in Relationships –  Insights for Helping Families Develop Healthy Connections. The book is available on our website.

To receive notification of a new blog posting, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
© CTRI Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute (www.ctrinstitute.com)
Interested in using the content of this blog? Learn more here. 

The post How to Practice Self-Care for Zoom Fatigue appeared first on Crisis and Trauma Resource Institute.

Managing the Online Counselling Relationship

The COVID-19 pandemic has had many impacts on our lives, including changes in how we connect with others. For many counsellors, this has meant shifting to working remotely, whether through online video platforms or over-the-phone support. Since March 2020, my own counselling practice has almost completely shifted to online video conferencing.

Connecting with people using video platforms had already been a small part of my counselling role, but it has now become the main way I provide support. This no longer feels like a stopgap to get through the pandemic; it will likely continue to shape and influence how I think about counselling.

There is abundant evidence that one of the central ingredients in any successful counselling experience is the quality of the relationship and connection between counsellor and client. This is one of the most robustly studied aspects of in-person counselling, and it is also central to providing support remotely.

At first, I worried that the shift to online counselling would cause my connection with clients to suffer. I was concerned that it would be too hard to do well, and that the usefulness of counselling for people would lessen as a result. Despite my concerns, I have been pleasantly surprised to find that many people enjoy it, and some even prefer connecting online rather than having to meet at my office.

Regardless of how counsellors are interacting with those we support, positive outcomes rest on the development and experience of a solid and positive connection.

There has also been a lot of grace and acknowledgement that we are all adapting and doing the best we can. However, this comes along with a lingering sense that this way of living is temporary. Although many people say online counselling is better than not meeting at all, what if this continues to be how some would prefer to engage with counselling in the future? How can we ensure we’re building the strongest counselling relationships possible while working remotely?

3 Areas to Strengthen the Online Counselling Relationship

With the abundance of research on online counselling, there are some key findings to that will enhance our online counselling relationships:

Set the tone and establish boundaries.

The environment you create through your online “meeting space” can greatly support a feeling of ease, consistency, and safety. The following will provide a foundation to create a supportive connection:

Consider the lighting and environment you are in. Make sure your face shows up well, without too many shadows. Have pleasant colours and images in your background.Be mindful of privacy as it is of course paramount for ethical counselling work. Privacy can also ensure you are free from distraction so you can focus on the interaction at hand.Don’t get distracted by your devices. Make sure notifications are turned off and displays are out of your sight line. This will help you give your full attention to your client so they feel truly listened to. It will also improve your ability to guide difficult conversations.Pace the interaction well. Allow space between asking a next question or waiting for the client to respond. Some cues that tell us when a person is about to speak or they need time to reflect will be harder to read. Going a little slower than you would in person helps avoid speaking over each other or missing an opportunity for the client to respond.Create conditions for trust.

At the centre of a positive and successful counselling connection is the trust between client and counsellor. A key way we can create the conditions needed to build trust is through the quality of our presence and attention. Here are some key aspects for enhancing and conveying your presence for clients:

Consider how the client will see you and pay attention to how much of you is visible in the video’s frame. Seeing all of your face and some of your shoulders allows facial and body language to be conveyed through movements, gestures, and expressions. It also ensures you are comfortable so that you can be grounded and steady in your presence.Pay attention to how close or far you are from the camera. If you’re too far, you’ll seem detached and unreachable; too close and you’ll seem more intense and in their face.  Practice giving eye contact. Although it is uncomfortable and sometimes threatening to have too much direct eye contact, without some sense of being able to really see and be seen, there can be less of a connection. You may need to toggle looking at the image of your client on your screen and directly into the camera so they have the experience of direct visual acknowledgment.Try using earbuds or headphones. This will make you less likely to strain to hear, and the sound will feel more immediate and intimate.Practice collaborative communication.

Counselling relationships that have the most benefit include a sense of collaboration between client and counsellor. This includes ensuring there is consistent opportunity for the person you are supporting to use their voice and have choice in the course of setting goals. It’s important to feel like you are negotiating together what is focused on and to build on the client’s strengths. Some ways you can do this are:

Take time to check with your client about all of the areas mentioned above. For example, discuss the lighting, your distance from the camera, how well you can hear each other, and the privacy of your environments. These extra steps will help you creating a joint space for your counselling work together.Verbalize or narrate more often what you are thinking about or how you are sensing your client might be feeling as you interact. Following this up with curious and open questions to check your observations not only helps you learn to read and listen to your client in this different medium, but it also helps the other person become more aware of these things. It is making the unspoken more explicit.Regularly ask your client what the experience of online counselling is like for them. What are they noticing? Also check in to see how they feel before and after sessions. These transitions may be very different if they are connecting from their home, office, or car. Creating plans together for helpful ways to prepare for an online session, as well as how to shift gears afterward, can support the overall feeling of a well-contained and supportive counselling relationship.

Using online or remote methods for counselling is becoming more common and is likely here to stay. Applying practical knowledge from known methods of creating an environment, tone, and collaboration that promotes a strong counselling relationship can help us all adapt and use this modality well. Regardless of how counsellors are interacting with those we support, positive outcomes rest on the development and experience of a solid and positive connection.

For more FREE RESOURCES on this topic and others, visit our free resources page.

Author: Vicki Enns (MMFT, RMFT)
Clinical Director, Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute

Vicki is a co-author of CTRI’s latest book, Counselling in Relationships –  Insights for Helping Families Develop Healthy Connections. The book is available on our website.

To receive notification of a new blog posting, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
© CTRI Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute (www.ctrinstitute.com)
Interested in using the content of this blog? Learn more here. 

The post Managing the Online Counselling Relationship appeared first on Crisis and Trauma Resource Institute.

Managing the Online Counselling Relationship – 3 Areas that Can Make it Stronger

The COVID-19 pandemic has had many impacts on our lives, including changes in how we connect with others. For many counsellors, this has meant shifting to working remotely, whether through online video platforms or over-the-phone support. Since March 2020, my own counselling practice has almost completely shifted to online video conferencing.

Connecting with people using video platforms had already been a small part of my counselling role, but it has now become the main way I provide support. This no longer feels like a stopgap to get through the pandemic; it will likely continue to shape and influence how I think about counselling.

There is abundant evidence that one of the central ingredients in any successful counselling experience is the quality of the relationship and connection between counsellor and client. This is one of the most robustly studied aspects of in-person counselling, and it is also central to providing support remotely.

At first, I worried that the shift to online counselling would cause my connection with clients to suffer. I was concerned that it would be too hard to do well, and that the usefulness of counselling for people would lessen as a result. Despite my concerns, I have been pleasantly surprised to find that many people enjoy it, and some even prefer connecting online rather than having to meet at my office.

Regardless of how counsellors are interacting with those we support, positive outcomes rest on the development and experience of a solid and positive connection.

There has also been a lot of grace and acknowledgement that we are all adapting and doing the best we can. However, this comes along with a lingering sense that this way of living is temporary. Although many people say online counselling is better than not meeting at all, what if this continues to be how some would prefer to engage with counselling in the future? How can we ensure we’re building the strongest counselling relationships possible while working remotely?

3 Areas to Strengthen the Online Counselling Relationship

With the abundance of research on online counselling, there are some key findings to that will enhance our online counselling relationships:

Set the tone and establish boundaries.

The environment you create through your online “meeting space” can greatly support a feeling of ease, consistency, and safety. The following will provide a foundation to create a supportive connection:

Consider the lighting and environment you are in. Make sure your face shows up well, without too many shadows. Have pleasant colours and images in your background.Be mindful of privacy as it is of course paramount for ethical counselling work. Privacy can also ensure you are free from distraction so you can focus on the interaction at hand.Don’t get distracted by your devices. Make sure notifications are turned off and displays are out of your sight line. This will help you give your full attention to your client so they feel truly listened to. It will also improve your ability to guide difficult conversations.Pace the interaction well. Allow space between asking a next question or waiting for the client to respond. Some cues that tell us when a person is about to speak or they need time to reflect will be harder to read. Going a little slower than you would in person helps avoid speaking over each other or missing an opportunity for the client to respond.Create conditions for trust.

At the centre of a positive and successful counselling connection is the trust between client and counsellor. A key way we can create the conditions needed to build trust is through the quality of our presence and attention. Here are some key aspects for enhancing and conveying your presence for clients:

Consider how the client will see you and pay attention to how much of you is visible in the video’s frame. Seeing all of your face and some of your shoulders allows facial and body language to be conveyed through movements, gestures, and expressions. It also ensures you are comfortable so that you can be grounded and steady in your presence.Pay attention to how close or far you are from the camera. If you’re too far, you’ll seem detached and unreachable; too close and you’ll seem more intense and in their face.

Practice giving eye contact. Although it is uncomfortable and sometimes threatening to have too much direct eye contact, without some sense of being able to really see and be seen, there can be less of a connection. You may need to toggle looking at the image of your client on your screen and directly into the camera so they have the experience of direct visual acknowledgment.Try using earbuds or headphones. This will make you less likely to strain to hear, and the sound will feel more immediate and intimate.Practice collaborative communication.

Counselling relationships that have the most benefit include a sense of collaboration between client and counsellor. This includes ensuring there is consistent opportunity for the person you are supporting to use their voice and have choice in the course of setting goals. It’s important to feel like you are negotiating together what is focused on and to build on the client’s strengths. Some ways you can do this are:

Take time to check with your client about all of the areas mentioned above. For example, discuss the lighting, your distance from the camera, how well you can hear each other, and the privacy of your environments. These extra steps will help you creating a joint space for your counselling work together.Verbalize or narrate more often what you are thinking about or how you are sensing your client might be feeling as you interact. Following this up with curious and open questions to check your observations not only helps you learn to read and listen to your client in this different medium, but it also helps the other person become more aware of these things. It is making the unspoken more explicit.Regularly ask your client what the experience of online counselling is like for them. What are they noticing? Also check in to see how they feel before and after sessions. These transitions may be very different if they are connecting from their home, office, or car. Creating plans together for helpful ways to prepare for an online session, as well as how to shift gears afterward, can support the overall feeling of a well-contained and supportive counselling relationship.

Using online or remote methods for counselling is becoming more common and is likely here to stay. Applying practical knowledge from known methods of creating an environment, tone, and collaboration that promotes a strong counselling relationship can help us all adapt and use this modality well. Regardless of how counsellors are interacting with those we support, positive outcomes rest on the development and experience of a solid and positive connection.

For more FREE RESOURCES on this topic and others, visit our free resources page.

Author: Vicki Enns (MMFT, RMFT)
Clinical Director, Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute

Vicki is a co-author of CTRI’s latest book, Counselling in Relationships –  Insights for Helping Families Develop Healthy Connections. The book is available on our website.

To receive notification of a new blog posting, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
© CTRI Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute (www.ctrinstitute.com)
Interested in using the content of this blog? Learn more here. 

The post Managing the Online Counselling Relationship – 3 Areas that Can Make it Stronger appeared first on Crisis and Trauma Resource Institute.

5 Ways to Experience Joy Through Your Senses

The new year often heralds a time of reflection, change, and rejuvenation. However, the pandemic we’re currently living through has potentially changed this for many of us. The past year has been challenging on many fronts, and unfortunately, the start of this year hasn’t been much different.

In my recent work with a client, we spent some time talking about ways in which she’s managed to combat anxiety and feelings of overwhelm. Around the same time, I was chatting with a dear friend about how she’s managing her stress and what feels like a never-ending cascade of bad news. In their own different ways, they’ve come to notice that while the stress hasn’t decreased and the uncertainty is still looming, they’ve found an antidote that seems to give them some relief – joy.

They both shared stories of experiencing joy that have eased their distress and given them a mental boost. These experiences ranged from unexpected care packages, touching music, or simple connections with loved ones, all of which have served to increase their joy. In turn, they have both experienced increased distress tolerance, improved mood, and a general sense of contentment.

Experiencing moments of joy throughout the day – whether they’re small or otherwise – can help us buffer stress and foster resilience.

Similar to a daily gratitude practice, experiencing moments of joy throughout the day – whether they’re small or otherwise – can help us buffer stress and foster resilience. Here are five sensory ways to experience joy in your daily life:

Sight

Spending time in nature has been shown to have positive impacts on our physical and mental well-being. I recently had my first experience with forest bathing, an experience that originates in Japan, known there as shinrin-yoku. In its essence, it is the practice of mindfully being in nature. For myself, it was a guided experience, where we spent two hours in an urban park, walking and engaging in mindful activities including visually noticing colour and movement. I experienced a quiet but profound joy in those two hours that carried me through the rest of my week.

I invite you to go for a walk (or even a drive) and see what your eyes notice that can bring you joy. Is it the sunrise or sunset over the prairies? Is it the majesty of snowcapped mountains? Is it the sun shining on the white snow? How about the dewdrops on the flowers? Or is it the moving waters of rivers and oceans?

Touch

The other day, my two-year-old niece and four-year-old nephew tried to bite me. When I redirected them to do something different with their mouths like saying something nice or singing a song, they both decided to give me kisses. My heart just filled with joy with their exuberance and sheer enjoyment of peppering me with kisses and receiving them in return.

Research shows that hugging can improve mood (by releasing serotonin and dopamine – brain chemicals that can enhance our mood). The joy we can feel with positive experiences of touch are some of the simple yet most meaningful pleasures of life. So, hug a loved one, have a tickle fight, give or receive a foot massage, cuddle on the couch, or hold hands on a walk.

Sounds

Confucius said that “Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without.” Music can have an incredible impact on our emotional states; many of us can recall songs that have brought us to tears, touched our hearts, or made us jump for joy. Music provides a soundtrack to our lives. Depending on our moods, we usually choose music to match that mood. I have playlists for weekend relaxation, to energize me when I’m working out, or my favourite: a playlist for my drive out to the mountains that elicits such joy and contentment for me.

Create your own playlists with music that brings you joy and touches your heart. Listen while on a drive or have a dance party in your living room. Invite your children, your spouse, or your roommate to join in. And for an extra spurt of joy, bring laughter into your dance party!

Create your own playlists with music that brings you joy and touches your heart.

Taste

There are certain taste experiences that make us feel so good, like a hug on the inside – that cold bite of ice cream on a warm day or that first sip of coffee in the morning. Like music, food experiences can also provoke strong feelings. This is evident in how many cultures connect food with community and social connections – things that also bring us feelings of joy (my colleague Vicki Enns also wrote about experiencing joy with others here).

Most of us can identify a comfort food or something that we gravitate towards when we crave comfort or nourishment, so give yourself a joyful experience of food. Make yourself and your loved ones a meal that tastes good; share a treat like warm cookies out of an oven; savour a hot cup of tea and a visit with a friend; or cuddle on the couch with some hot chocolate.

Smell

As with our auditory senses, our sense of smell can strongly connect us with memories and emotions. There are scents that remind us of loved ones, bring us to a certain time and place, and others yet that can evoke a sense of calm or relaxation. For me, the smell of incense used in my Sudanese culture instantly reminds me of family and connection.

Create a ritual around your sense of smell that can bring you joy in your daily life. Light a candle with a favourite smell after dinner; diffuse some essential oils for an aromatherapy experience; or buy flowers that smell pleasing to you.

These are just some starting suggestions. Use these as a guide, and perhaps create a list of joyful experiences that you can do on a regular basis. They don’t have to be time consuming or elaborate. Most of us can agree that it’s often the small things that have the biggest impact. You may already be doing some of the things listed above – if they bring you joy, continue doing them, but try to bring some intention and mindfulness to the experience. Remind yourself to be present and connect with the joyfulness of the moment.

For more FREE RESOURCES on this topic and others, visit our free resources page.

Author: Marwa Fadol (MA, RPsych)
Trainer, Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute

Marwa is a co-author of CTRI’s upcoming book, Counselling in Relationships –  Insights for Helping Families Develop Healthy Connections. The book is available for pre-order on our website.

To receive notification of a new blog posting, subscribe to our newsletter or follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
© CTRI Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute (www.ctrinstitute.com)
Interested in using the content of this blog? Learn more here.

The post 5 Ways to Experience Joy Through Your Senses appeared first on Crisis and Trauma Resource Institute.