Hailey Hudson's Blog, page 3

Blogmas 2024 Day 15 (Christmas party)

I’ve had this cover of Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus by The Arcadian Wild on a nonstop loop this week. It’s so good!

It was FREEZING and rainy and gross all day today. When I was getting ready, I tried this thing I saw on TikTok where you tie a Christmas ribbon around a claw clip.

As usual, I probably talked too long during the welcome/announcements, but who can blame me–I was telling a cute kid story. It’s so interesting to me how story is always the most effective vehicle in every form of communication. When I do the announcements, I could just rattle off a list of dates and times and places. And often I do. But when I tell a story–like, today, the story of how I asked one of our six-year-olds why people should come see the play and she said “because they’re all crazy,” implying that, I guess, our entire county needs a come-to-Jesus moment (I didn’t argue)–I have people texting me throughout the week or coming up to me later, telling me how funny it was or how much they appreciated it. Our brains are wired for story. If you want people to remember what you’re trying to get across… use story!!

After church, we had a family meeting–something we do quarterly that allows us to check in on what’s going on in the life of our church, where God is working, and how we can better meet the needs in our body and in our community (it’s kind of a business meeting, but… not). I also had to film some more footage to make a couple of final videos this week to advertise the kids’ Christmas musical.

As soon as I could, though, I rushed home, got in bed, and set my alarm for a two-hour nap. Then, late afternoon, I got up and got ready to leave again. I made some vegetable potstickers (they honestly looked disgusting, but every single one got eaten) and put on my fun festive outfit #2 of the day (including playing around with this new eyeshadow palette that I got in the mail as my Christmas gift from Grace Anne!).

This evening I went to a Christmas party at Lydia’s house. About eight of our friends were there, and it was a lot of fun! We played Spoons, ate dinner, decorated Christmas cookies (no, the ones pictured are definitely NOT mine), had a white elephant Christmas gift exchange, and played Xbox games. It was such a great night!!

Today I’m grateful for: That post-party debrief… just girlhood things.

Check out Blogmas Day 15 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, and 2016. What did you do today?

Blogmas 2024 Day 14 (homemade Christmas gift)

Last night I finished reading Lucky Broken Girl by Ruth Behar. It was good!

I turned down a solid seven or eight invitations/events today to have a day at home. There were two different dance recitals I particularly wanted to go to, but I knew my body just really couldn’t handle it. I slept until midafternoon and then rested in bed for another hour or two to make sure the migraine that was threatening didn’t become full-blown.

Next, I spent a couple of hours working on a homemade Christmas gift (a different gift than the one previously mentioned). I think I’ve been procrastinating this one because it intimidates me, lol. I’m trying new things and learning about new tools. But so far, it’s going well and I’m really excited about it! I completed the first stage (although that was the easy part) and did some prep work for the second stage.

I FINALLY had some time to work on my book this evening (for the first time since Thanksgiving week). I know it’s okay that my free time is full of different things in December–like making homemade Christmas gifts–but gosh, I am never going to finish the first draft of this darn book. Tonight I worked on the introduction to the third section of the book.

I love me a good run-on sentence

The rest of the night I spent fending off a migraine and getting ready for a busy day tomorrow–figuring out church announcements, wrapping gifts for a party, digging clean outfits out of the dryer, etc.

Today I’m grateful for: All the different types of papercraft and art I’ve experimented with this year. I feel like my creativity and confidence are skyrocketing! (My free time and financial resources, however, are a different story.)

Check out Blogmas Day 14 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, and 2016. What did you do today?

Blogmas 2024 Day 13 (hypersomnia specialist)

This morning I had an appointment with my hypersomnia specialist. For years, doctors have been telling me, “Yeah, you probably have idiopathic hypersomnia, but we can never quite capture it on your testing.” Well, I recently had some additional, more advanced testing done, and after all this time, we actually got the data we needed–so I finally got that official ICD code (oh joy). It’s nothing new–I’ve had IH symptoms since I was 16 or 17, and they’ve been worsening over the years. And since there’s only one FDA-approved drug to treat IH (which isn’t really a good option for me), it probably won’t make much of a difference, anyway. But still, any time I get a new clinical diagnosis can be hard emotionally because it’s yet another reminder of all the things that are wrong with my body–and fatigue, in particular, has always been the big thing that affects my body/life the most.

Idiopathic hypersomnia is a rare lifelong neurological disorder that causes excessive sleep and excessive daytime sleepiness. It’s not just a matter of “oh, if I don’t sleep well I need my coffee to get going in the morning!”–it’s, in my case, sleeping 12-15 hours a day and still being constantly so exhausted and drowsy that I’m stumbling around struggling to balance, or slurring my words trying to cobble a coherent sentence together. (I also have other sleep disorders, including sleep apnea, plus a multitude of other conditions that can cause fatigue.) Interestingly (and frustratingly, but not really surprisingly to me), I saw some results today from yet another recent test which showed that I’m constantly just functioning with lower attention/cognition than everyone else.

Screenshot from here

Here’s a good real-life example: When I got home from the appointment this afternoon, I immediately took a two-plus hour nap because there was no way I could physically stay awake for any longer (although I slept soundly for nine hours last night and took all of my usual meds, like Adderall and Midodrine, to try to help wake me up this morning). But then I woke up from said nap feeling unrefreshed, and continued to be groggy and exhausted all evening.

truly wish sometimes that I had no responsibilities and could just sleep as much as my body needed, like them, but someone has to pay the bills around here

Anyway, I managed to do some work on a project for a new client (an employee benefits software)–repurposing a podcast into a blog post. Not much actual writing on it yet, but thinking about the narrative, takeaways, and structure, and letting that marinate in my head (always feels good). Then I laid on the couch for a couple of hours trying to get my headache to go away, and finally, made a junk journal page before bed (jumping back a couple of holidays to a Halloween party–I used only photos for this spread, except the pink spiderweb background is tissue paper that came in an Etsy order).

Ramble looking like he just got a fresh blowoutRocco’s nose is black, so he’s either two green eyes peering out from the void or–when his pupils are this dilated–it’s nearly impossible to make out his features at all

Today I’m grateful for: That it’s FINALLY the end of the week.

Check out Blogmas Day 13 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, and 2016. What did you do today?

Blogmas 2024 Day 12 (errands)

I woke up so incredibly sleepy today. I was bleary with heavy legs, and barely made it to my 2:00 voice lesson on Zoom. I’d really needed to get some work done first, but there was just no way that was possible. I’ve been pushing myself hard with all the work I have this month and my body is clearly hitting a wall.

During my lesson, we discussed what we’ve worked on throughout the year and what we want to focus on next year. Then, after warming up, we used the end of Thank Goodness from Wicked (which I’d worked on some earlier in November) to work on vibrato. We also briefly looked at Times Are Hard For Dreamers from Amelie (which kinda killed my voice because we’d just focused on head voice for twenty minutes) and listened to The Beauty Is from Light in The Piazza to start work on that soon, too. If you knew me in 2017-18ish, you probably know Times Are Hard For Dreamers was kind of my theme song for starting my writing business and figuring out how my world got made. And when I leased my own little second-floor apartment, I knew I had to put the lyrics on the wall! So starting work on this song was a sweet throwback.

When I finished chatting with Karina, I got ready to go to my music studio for my songwriting lesson. We debriefed last weekend’s event and then studied Dorian modes and other chord stuff I’m struggling to wrap my head around. I also filmed a piano cover of Come Ye Sinners Poor and Needy for my Instagram. We see over and over in the gospels that the heart of Jesus is inclined to the needy. And thank goodness, because I often feel like the neediest of all.

On the way home, I went by Hobby Lobby, Sprouts, and the library to pick up a few things. (Tis the season for homemade Christmas gifts and for Christmas party prep… although I am stressfully behind on the homemade Christmas gifts.) Of course I also ended up buying several papercraft items I don’t at all need. (But how incredibly cute is this little box filled with this ephemera?!) I only have time to junk journal once every 1-2 weeks, but I think about junk journaling literally constantly. I feel like collecting/buying stuff is my way to cope when I don’t have time to actually do it.

Tonight I finally had time to edit a video advertising our kids’ Christmas musical at church using footage that I filmed probably a solid three weeks ago now. You can watch the video on our Instagram or Facebook.

My Advent devotional that I ordered before Thanksgiving finally arrived. It’s from The Bible Study Schoolhouse, which is Amy Cate Gannett’s company. I wish I had been able to start it sooner, but I did the first day tonight.

Today I’m grateful for: Finally having all my new library books.

Check out Blogmas Day 12 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, and 2016. What did you do today?

Blogmas 2024 Day 11

We finally saw some blue sky today! I’d nearly forgotten what sunshine looked like. I was absolutely exhausted when I got up, and my brainpower was dragging a little, too. But I slowly started doing a few small tasks.

My child pretending he wasn’t just eating the end of my braid

My main work goal for the day was to edit and fact-check a buying guide on project scheduling tools. It was the first project I’d done for this client, so I was kind of feeling my way through.

When I finished that, I worked on some Diamonds social media stuff. I also couch rotted and scrolled Twitter for a while. Then, in the shower, I thought about the healthcare system and how it affects myself and the people I love in the communities I care about for so long the hot water ran out (I do this regularly, even when a health insurance CEO hasn’t just been killed, but, you know…).

I used to change my central line dressing on the kitchen counter/island, where there’s plenty of space to spread out all my supplies. Windy wasn’t (technically) allowed on the counter, so it worked out fine. But I can’t do that anymore. I now have to barricade the bathroom door so Rocco doesn’t come pushing his way in and I risk him jumping on the counter and compromising my sterile field. And depending on how full the hamper is, sometimes it isn’t even quite heavy enough to keep him out. (My home health company has also recently started sending me a different type of IV3000, which I hate, and tonight I completely botched it up and ended up having to use a Tegaderm, which I also hate.)

I finished the night by working on some financial stuff. Not a very exciting day. I’m so bone-tired and wish I had the space right now to work on fun, restful, creative projects. (And yes, I realize this post is mostly just me complaining, lol. It’s probably time to get out of my house.)

Today I’m grateful for: A new friend I’ve made this week.

Check out Blogmas Day 11 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, and 2016. What did you do today?

Blogmas 2024 Day 10 (Christmas decor)

Today’s weather was even more gross, and I was very tired from yesterday. I spent some time prepping to interview a source this afternoon (which involved combing through a lot of hematology-related abstracts and studies that were presented at a conference this weekend). Then my mom came over to help me put up a couple of extra Christmas decorations and do a few things around the house that I just haven’t had the energy for.

I’ve decided garlands are going to be my new personality year-round and I’m very excited about it. Next I’ll get a crocheted snowflake garland from Etsy for January, then a felted heart garland for February, and so on and so forth…

Later this afternoon, I interviewed my source and typed up and submitted their Q&A. Then I promptly fell asleep on the couch for a few hours.

When I woke up tonight, I did a little work on a homemade Christmas gift, but that was pretty much my whole day.

Today I’m grateful for: My sweet, cozy, festive apartment.

Check out Blogmas Day 10 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, and 2016. What did you do today?

Blogmas 2024 Day 9 (deep work day)

It was rainy and gross today–a good day to stay at home on the couch and be productive with work. It felt so good for my brain to have energy!!

Shop artist

Today I dug into a website rewrite project where I was rewriting six pages (the entire website, basically). The website belongs to a company that makes a software that helps first responders find emergency callers. I was really in the zone and felt like I was being so productive. I ended up working on this same project from 3:00 until 7:30 with minimal breaks–that was definitely pushing it and I was so tired by the end, but once I realized it was possible to finish the entire thing today, I really wanted to just get ‘er done.

I rewarded myself by DoorDashing mac n cheese from Panera and having some of that. I also did some songwriting homework, and then pretty much just crashed on the couch for the rest of the night.

Today I’m grateful for: Party planning.

Check out Blogmas Day 9 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, and 2016. What did you do today?

Blogmas 2024 Day 8 (church lunch)

I truly look forward all week to worshiping with my church family on Sunday (especially this week since I couldn’t go last week). Being with the body of Christ is so important. I crave it. I’m sad when the service is over each week.

Part of my (volunteer) job as communications leader at my church is doing the welcome and the announcements at the beginning of the service. (Admittedly, I sometimes treat this as my own personal stand-up hour. I’m surprised anybody lets me near a microphone.) Today, though, I reminded people that if you walked into church today with your heart feeling heavy over difficult life events, you don’t have to manufacture artificial holiday cheer; God will meet you where you are. I shared the quote below (from Stephanie Duncan Smith) before going over some upcoming events and then transitioning into the service.

Photo credit

We had a great guest musician today. He even did one song on an electric violin!

Today was our monthly church lunch and our annual white elephant Christmas gift exchange. Unfortunately most people left before the gift exchange, but it was still fun. I stole an electric wax melt thing (from Kristen, and it was her birthday today, so I felt a little bit bad–but then that allowed her to steal a Monsters Inc onesie, which she loved, so God works all things together for good amen).

golden trio

When I got home midafternoon I made some church social media posts and some personal birthday social media posts. Then I’d been going to go take a nap, but I guess Ramble thought I was taking too long to come to bed, because right when I was going to get up he came to the couch and laid on my chest and then I definitely couldn’t get up… so both of us napped for two hours there instead.

This evening I washed my hair, planned my week (aka rewrote everything from last week that I didn’t do), and will probably finish reading Dungeons and Drama by Kristy Boyce.

Today I’m grateful for: Surprise happy mail.

Check out Blogmas Day 8 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, and 2016. What did you do today?

Blogmas 2024 Day 7

Today I slept until four and then got a very slow start. I didn’t really manage much of anything, but I did try to at least be a little bit productive; I laid on the couch and did some work on my phone (blog stuff, a homemade Christmas gift, church social media stuff). I wish I had more exciting things to report, but that’s really it–and even that was a struggle. Here’s a cute graphic so you can marvel at my killer design skills (lol, not–it’s a Canva template).

I’ve been trying to thank God this week for how my chronic illness reminds me so acutely of my full dependency on Him, but that can be a difficult thing to pray and truly mean, especially when I’m this non-functional. I know I’m still recovering from last week’s hospital admission. But I’m afraid it’s going to leave me permanently weaker (or at least, weaker/doing worse for an extended period of time), as often happens. I have a lot of client work to get done in just two weeks and I really have no idea how it’s going to happen.

I’ve also been thinking tonight about commitment and what it looks like to be a person who commits to things (similarly to a conversation I had with someone this week where they told me about their goal of being a “toward person,” or someone who consistently takes steps toward the person they want to be). I remember making a conscious decision, at the beginning of 2022, to commit to certain things and to go deep, not wide. And now I’m seeing the fruit of that, in multiple areas of my life. And it just feels really, really good.

Today I’m grateful for: Being back up to my usual rate on my feeds.

Check out Blogmas Day 7 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, and 2016. What did you do today?

Blogmas 2024 Day 6 (coffee shop concert)

Man, did I ever wake up exhausted today. My legs were heavy and hard to move, and I was so sleepy. I was seriously concerned about getting through the day/night. Usually on Fridays, I don’t do anything because I need to rest from the week. But that wasn’t really an option today. I pushed myself to get a couple of hours of work done (even though it ended up being mostly emails because my brain was not with us).

Later in the afternoon, Brooke came down to my place and we got ready to go. I had been really excited about tonight for quite a while (although the excitement got dampened recently because, well, with everything that happened I didn’t even know if I would make it tonight, lol). My friend Ari hosts a monthly performance night for local singer-songwriters/musicians (many of whom are good friends of mine also). Our usual monthly show would have been tonight–and coincidentally, Ari’s and my favorite local coffee shop just so happened to be having a sort of grand reopening event all day today (they purchased the two storefronts next to them and knocked down the walls so they could expand their space). So, Ari collaborated with them to hold her monthly show at the coffee shop as the grand finale to their festivities!

The coffee shop was absolutely packed all day from 1-9, which made me so happy for them–the owner is great, and the shop has been a special place to me for the last few years. (Most recently, this summer I drank a lot of lavender matchas there while working on my book.) (And I was very pleased that even though I haven’t been to the coffee shop in a couple of months, one of the baristas saw me last night and said, “I recognize you–you always order matcha!”) Brooke and I looked around the new space and the pop-up with local artists until it was time for the show to start.

I had already planned to only perform two songs tonight (one of them a simple cover that I’ve performed before—I’m Not in Love by Emily James), and I was definitely glad about that since I ended up running on fumes this week. The other song I performed was a brand-new original that means a lot to me. (I actually wrote most of it last Christmas break, and dusted it off last month.) It’s called simply Hallelujah, and I call it my “Christmas-song-that’s-not-a-Christmas-song,” lol. The idea behind it is this.

A lot of the songs we sing this time of year are very happy and fun, which is totally fine–it’s a fun time of year! But that can feel sort of disingenuous if there’s hard stuff going on in your life, or in the world. That stuff doesn’t take a break just because it’s Christmastime.

I think it’s important to acknowledge the hard stuff. But we also need to know that jingle bells and Santa aren’t going to fix it. These trappings of the season are just Band-aids.

However, I believe we do have hope–a much weightier and real thing. For that reason, we can still sing with confidence, even as we’re stuck in this messy, painful, difficult in-between place looking back to the incarnation and waiting for the ultimate final restoration. This song talks about that hope. It acknowledges the pain–and, it lifts up the praise that we can still sing.

You can click here to watch a video of me performing the song tonight (and ignore the fact that my voice was apparently struggling, oof). I’m also going to copy and paste the lyrics below:

How can this world be something to celebrate / When all that I love has met an untimely fate / A thrill of hope, nowhere to be found / Can’t lift my gaze from the ground

Hallelujah, still I sing / Believing in my risen King

The earth groans as we, live life in this in-between / Our longings are found, in the One Who hung on that tree / One day He’ll return, to claim His final crown / And it’s that hope, that sanctifies all this now

Hallelujah, still I sing / Believing in my risen King / One day, what’s lost shall be found / Even this place proves hallowed ground / So hallelujah, still I will sing

Everyone sounded great and I’d say the collaboration between the show and the coffee shop was a huge success. My favorite part of the night, though, was that all night, everywhere I turned, I saw someone else I know and love (mostly people from my current season of life, but also people I graduated high school with or people I went to middle school youth group with–north Georgia is a small town). And that was a really cool feeling.

When I got home, I tried to take a few nice pictures with the cats since I was actually wearing makeup and looked cute for once. (I want to send their former foster mom a Christmas card.) They weren’t really on board with that plan. As you can tell, they were so done with me and my stack of props. Ramble’s face is the face of a cat who has simply given up and knows the only way out is through.

Once I was in bed for the night, I also finished the new Monica Hesse (The Brightwood Code). It was a great book and I was kind of mindblown by how the plot unfolded at the end.

Today I’m grateful for: Community.

Check out Blogmas Day 6 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, and 2016. What did you do today?