Graham Johns's Blog, page 7
March 25, 2020
“Theatre of Life” – STILL FREE – have you got your copy yet?
Hi again
My Grandpa’s birthday would have been on 25th March (he sadly died in 2004).
I wanted to commemorate him when I published his memoirs, “Theatre of Life“, and I think it is fitting to offer the e-book version of his story of a life growing up in the depression, his time as a gunner in the Merchant Navy during WWII and his life as a pantomime dame in amateur theatre…still FREE until end of 27th March 2020 (US Pacific Time).
So click here for all of the Amazon links you need to get it for your Kindle or Kindle Reader today!
I give you thanks in advance for not forgetting those who fought in WWII.
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Lockdown – Day One
Hi Readers…
I thought while the whole of New Zealand, and many other parts of the world, are in coronavirus lockdown that it might be fun to make up a story on a day to day basis (it may be the most fun thing you can do on your own at home…I’ll let you ponder that one)…so here we go…hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer – Please forgive any typos…I’m doing this on the fly so editing might be at a premium…
Let’s call this story “Lockdown“…and now let us begin…
If anyone has a view on where they might be interested in the story going or exploring, feel free to comment…
DAY ONE
My head really hurts. I’ve had a rough, self-inflicted couple of weeks. I had to get away from my wife. I had to get away from everyone. I’ve got to finish writing this novel or my publisher will get really annoyed and start quoting contracts at me. I remember when I used to self-publish, sure I sold less books back then but I had far more control and leeway with what I did and when I did it. I’m not a successful writer but I earn enough to get by – it’s still a bit of a hand-to-mouth existence though.
I’ve been out here for three months, in the most remote cabin I could find in New Zealand. My marriage was in tatters and my wife had given me the ultimatum that I either left or she would be leaving me herself. I’m not a vindictive person so I thought I might make life easier and kill two birds with one stone. There is no mobile signal out here. No TV. No radio. Just wonderful peace and solitude.
The cabin is in the middle of the woods. I came here because I’m writing a fictional book about someone who lives in the woods. It’s a lame link but I guess you take what inspiration you can. The cabin has water from its own bore and electricity is solar-generated. I haven’t needed the heating but that is wood-powered. Summer is finally coming to an end. There is a chill in the air in the morning and the grass is pretty damp. Drying my very occasional laundry is becoming more difficult. I haven’t shaved for a good while and my dark beard is thick. I’m not sure I’ve been eating too well because I feel like my clothes are a little looser than they were.
The cabin has been a great place to think and I have finally completed my first draft of the manuscript. I’m not sure if it is really any good, I’ve been drinking a lot of bourbon while I’ve been out here, that’s principally why my head hurts. The last two weeks have been especially bad. I’m not sure why it has taken so long for the end of my marriage to really hit home, perhaps it is because I knew my time here was coming to an end and I would have to deal with it. Sarah would be thrilled to know how little I’ve really thought about her though. I wouldn’t say I hate her but the love died a long time ago. Her parents must’ve been a bit odd, you pronounce her name as Sahrah…go figure. I’m called John – nice, simple and honest.
I probably shouldn’t drive today but I think I need to get back to Auckland to try to patch things up a little, at least until I can find a place to stay. She’ll be mad as hell that I’ve been off the grid.
Filling up the car doesn’t take too long, it is mostly empty bottles and rubbish from food packets, along with my few things. I mustn’t forget my computer, it has the finished work on it. I lock the cabin door and push the key into a sealed drop box on the wall. No going back in there now.
I set off. It will be a long drive home. Almost a full day.
The roads are peaceful. Just a few trucks around as I course my way through the North Island. They all seem to be going the other way. There are so many trees, when you look away from the volcanic landscape at least! Incredible beauty of the NZ countryside. I’m surprised by how quiet it is in Hamilton and Taupo though. There isn’t even a queue in Huntly! I just keep driving. I stopped once for petrol at a self-service station as it’s cheaper. I have plenty of water in the car so I can relieve myself by the road when needed.
The evening is descending as I enter the edge of Auckland, again so quiet. I’m starting to wonder what is going on. The Sky Tower is lit up pink – I’m not sure why. There are lights on but nobody is out on the street as I get closer to home, or rather Sarah’s home. At least my hangover has gone a long way back so I’m clear-headed in preparation for the conflict to come.
I pull into the driveway of our two bedroom bungalow. The lights are off. There’s no point waking her up. It’s gone eleven so I think I will sleep in the car.
Sleep comes quickly.
March 24, 2020
“Theatre of Life” – Free for a Limited Time
Hi Folks
My Grandpa’s birthday would have been on 25th March (he sadly died in 2004).
I wanted to commemorate him when I published his memoirs, “Theatre of Life“, and I think it is fitting to offer the e-book version of his story of a life growing up in the depression era, his time as a gunner in the Merchant Navy during WWII and his life as a pantomime dame in amateur theatre…all for FREE for just three days from 25th to 27th March 2020 (US Pacific Time).
So click here for all of the Amazon links you need to get it for your Kindle or Kindle Reader today!
I give you thanks in advance for not forgetting those who fought in WWII. Perhaps in the current climate of the world those of us who are much younger can get just a tiny appreciation of what it means to make sacrifices for the greater good. Look after each other!
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March 23, 2020
You STILL haven’t got “Pickled”?
Hey readers of the world…Are you mad? I mean really mad?
First came “Baabaric“, then came “Stoned” and now came “Pickled“…
It such interesting times as we are currently living in, reading comedic novels about Yorkshire seems like a good idea…especially if we are all in lockdown…self-isolation needn’t be a bad thing…
All of my novels are available for a very reasonable price in Amazon e-book format and have some great reviews…it’s not often to get compared to classic TV like Monty Python, Carry On, Last of the Summer Wine and more!
Give them a try, and hopefully laugh a little in the face of COVID-19 or coronavirus. Click on the titles above to learn more.
Keep safe everyone…
March 15, 2020
Have You Got “Pickled” Yet?
Readers of the World…
I trust Friday 13th March came and went without dark deeds or incidents in your life…I trust you also had the chance to get thoroughly “Pickled“. Everything is available on Kindle or paperback from all good Amazon stores.
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If you haven’t got there yet, and even worse if you still have never ventured to Nether-Staining and haven’t gone “Baabaric” or got thoroughly “Stoned“…perhaps now is your time…
Just in case you have been asleep for several days, CLICK HERE for all you need to know about how to get “Pickled“…and do please enjoy.
March 12, 2020
“Pickled” is now Available!
Hi Readers of the world, lovers of Yorkshire…
First you went “Baabaric“, then you got “Stoned“…and now it is the time to get “Pickled“…finally available in e-book or paperback from all good Amazon book stores…comedy, mystery, sci-fi and horror all in one place…what more could you wish for?
Episode three in the Annals of Nether-Staining has arrived. Click HERE to learn more…
I hope you enjoy!
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March 11, 2020
“Baabaric” and “Stoned” await you…FREE!
Lovely Readers…
The world is a sad and divisive place if you watch too much news of late. What price a little laughter?
I’ll tell you…just maybe that price is nothing. This is because “Baabaric” and “Stoned“, the first two episodes in the Annals of Nether-Staining are currently FREE on Kindle until the end of Friday 13th March…which is coincidentally when episode three, “Pickled” launches…
Click here for “Baabaric” details
Click here for “Stoned” details
So why not kick back and perhaps be entertained? Forget the outside world for a while, especially if you are self-isolating.
Welcome to Nether-Staining! Enjoy this little slice of Yorkshire…
Before “Pickled” arrives, here is a Very Special Offer…
Hi Readers of the World, people of Yorkshire…
With the grand launch of “Pickled” on Friday 13th March 2020, I wanted to give all of those who may not yet have visited the village of Nether-Staining a chance to get involved…with that in mind, the e-book versions of episodes one and two in the Annals of Nether-Staining are now FREE from the start of 11th March to end of 13th March (US Pacific Time)…
Book one is “Baabaric” and the links to the Amazon stores can be found by clicking here…
After you’ve done that, why not get “Stoned“, book two in the Annals…click here…
And when you’ve done that and read them both, you should most definitely get “Pickled“, being book three…I and the residents of Nether-Staining give you our thanks.
March 6, 2020
What is “Pickled” about?
I must say I’ve been coy so far in saying much about what “Pickled” is all about. It’s time I righted that wrong…so here is a brief synopsis to hopefully whet your appetite…
And if you are really quick, you’ve got chance to read “Baabaric” and “Stoned” before it launches on FRIDAY 13th MARCH 2020 on all good Amazon stores…
Here we go…
***
THE SEQUEL TO STONED IS HERE…COMEDY, SCI-FI, HORROR AND MYSTERY COLLIDE…
Nether-Staining has found peace at last. The aliens who tried to take over the wonderful little pocket of the Yorkshire Dales are now friends and honorary Yorkshire-folk. Those from Lancashire who would take it over are no longer the enemy. All is well. The new visitors to mighty Yorkshire seem to delight in nothing more than drinking the beer in the Dog & Duck. You just can’t beat a Priest’s Hole, can you?
Except just as all is well, all is actually not well. Trying to make sure it ends well might be a challenge.
A most unusual thing is about to happen in Nether-Staining…local Casanova, Mick Hunt, wants to settle down with the right lady and when something so incredible occurs, you just know that hell is about to break loose.
Join Gordon and Mick once more as they endeavour to combat what might be the greatest threat to their beloved slice of Yorkshire since time began…and this time, it doesn’t just end in death.
***
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March 4, 2020
Are You Ready to Get “Pickled”?
The time is almost here, I can finally confirm a launch date for “Pickled” on e-book and paperback on all good Amazon stores!
You’ve enjoyed “Baabaric“, you’ve then gone and got “Stoned“…so I hope you are ready to now get totally “Pickled“, bringing the darkest and most horrific threat yet to Nether-Staining’s walls. And our heroes may struggle to cope…
The date?
It’s available from the positively portentous FRIDAY 13th MARCH 2020!
Get ready for it!
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