Shea McGee's Blog, page 2

New Podcast Episode!

The Written Life Podcast has a new chapter installed just for you lovelies.

This episode deals with the state of things as they are now with myself, how it has made me feel or has affected me as a person, mother, writer, HUMAN. It’s a short diddy about the current events and how it has taken its toll on my creativity BUT hope is on the horizon. NO matter what, I have to keep trekking on and so do we all!

Short Story Time!

Good evening, my darlings.

I know I’ve been away for quite some time, but I have been busy. And by busy I mean I’m working from home and helping my kiddo with his schooling from home. It has NOT been an easy ride, but…it also hasn’t been as bad either.

I have away, yes, but I also have something new for you. New and a little “disturbing”. I put in quotations because it’s not disturbing for me, but for others, it may be.

No time to waste, here is a short little diddy about a man name Barry, and his new dream home. I hope you enjoy.

Barry’s Dreamhome

The key slid in the lock, reaching inward, fitting inside before the click signaled it worked. A sigh of relief reverberated within the anxious Barry as he had issues with his lock before. He was all too happy to have it finally be fixed. He had only been there for a little less than six months, but already had an incident. Someone had broken into his home, which he thought was safe since the neighborhood was rather “posh”, as his English-born neighbors would say. Posh enough that he had to get an alarm system installed along with all of the locks changed. It was a hassle but one he could afford, and paid for.

Once inside his ranch style bungalow, he breathed easier, locking the deadbolt and door smoothly. The light from his sliding glass doors in the living area showed him that evening was approaching. The glow from the sun outside was tinged a lively orange. He loved when it illuminated his space. From the steps that opened into the pit where conversations were had and encouraged, led to the glass doors that lent to his back yard, complete with the modern furniture for outdoor entertaining. Alongside those meaningful bits was the tour de piece: his new pool. The home didn’t come with it, but Barry insisted and had to have it. Construction started and ended quickly due to Barry’s deep ends. He had a bonus from his position with his consulting firm and it paid handsomely. He was quite comfortable with the end result of that relationship. And he showed it with his house.

California was his dream state, and the house was the perfect showcase for the California living. He had more than enough recommendations for neighborhoods where he could see himself possibly getting married and raising a family in. The home was the first step toward that life. A young man from Ohio, it seemed, had big dreams, ambitions. Ones his single, working mother wasn’t too happy about, but Barry didn’t have a mind for her protests. He instead worked harder in school, college, cultivated relationships in college that transitioned into the world of the New York Stock Exchange, Wall Street, and then…and then…

The pool. It was the perfect mix of the deluxe lifestyle. Something right out of his fantasy and thrown into his real life. All of his goals were coming to fruition. He couldn’t have thought of anything better than what he dreamed of. His dreams were becoming the real thing.

He casually strode along the edge of the stillness of that clear aqua green color. Tips of fingers dipped into the coolness, reaching in to only pull back, flicking the excess after. Barry admired his life. Even if there was still no wife to speak of.

Dating had been…interesting for him. He didn’t consider himself a bad looking fellow. Dark hair that he styled in a slick back coiffeur. Blue eyes as blue as the pool on a bright sunny day. His lips weren’t the pouty sort but he smiled and dimples met you along with his slack jaw that he didn’t too much care for. He wasn’t ugly. He took care of himself, his body was in tip top shape, and he ate carefully. His hygiene was impeccable. His fashion was contemporary but yet timeless. Yet, somehow, he could never fully connect—commit—to one woman.

He had his pick. Models, successful business women, socialites, party scene gals, you name it. None of them held even a flicker of a flame to his first and only love, Vanessa.

The waif brunette girl with the lusty lips and deep, brown eyes. The petite madame who he risked sex in an elevator for in college. The ingenue who kneeled before him in an alley, taking him all into her mouth before he exploded from the sheer excitement of it all alone. The many chances they took, the careless abandon with emotions that transpired. The endless naked conversations about art and books he couldn’t get out of his mind, night after night in this new place. This wondrous place.

He longed for her as she was, as he remembered her.

This dream he couldn’t make a reality, unfortunately. Vanessa wasn’t one to give up the small town life and he aspired to bigger, better things.

Barry took these memories with him as he went back into his home, locking the sliding door behind him. He took off his casual shoes, leaving them at the door to walk his way to his bedroom where the girl-for-now waited for him.

Her mousy brown hair spread over his pillows carelessly. She probably napped while he ran his errands. As it were, this arrangement was going to run its course soon enough. It always did with these girls. Never lasted long enough to go anywhere near a real relationship, let alone a marriage. But still, Barry felt a physical thing was better than no thing at all, and he preferred his things warm and inviting. This girl was overstaying her welcome at this point.

Her once happy, brown eyes had all but glossed over whenever he spoke to her, finally graying as time passed. It disappointed him to see such a lackluster look in her eyes. Sure, it always came down to this but he had notions this one would last a little bit longer. He was disappointed once more, it seemed.

Nature always won out, no matter what lengths he went to. This girl managed to last a little longer but nothing more than two months, maybe three if he really wanted to stretch it. She was right about three months now, maybe a little over. Time escaped him. He figured what did it was the time he had spent away from her when cops came over to investigate what happened to his door—the break-in. She couldn’t be seen, couldn’t be around. He had hoped she would understand and cooperate with this mishap, but from the flies fluttering around her more and more now, he was sure it didn’t matter after all. Her once tanned skin began to taken a pallid hue, veins erupting just underneath. A sight he was hoping he wouldn’t have seen at all.

He stood in the doorway of his luxe bedroom, and there on his king sized bed laid his latest short-lived love affair. The flexibility of her left long ago. They had tried to make love last night and it was too…the smell of her. He couldn’t, and she couldn’t. So they didn’t.

He sighed, knowing that this little romance was done. And so was she.

“They always leave far too soon,” he sighed, taking her in one last time. The nude elegance of her losing its effect. He had tried and lost once again. His now disposable darling was no longer an option to him. He knew the process of seeing her out was going to be long and he didn’t look forward to it. Luckily, he had this down to a science. No amount of ointment was going to keep these women from turning rancid. Eventually, they always turned rancid.

2020: Clearer Vision Or Just Another Year?

[image error]Writing an article with hopes that it gets featured…whew!

I took a little hiatus–as I normally do–around the holidays because there’s family events to do and whatnot. Also because there were many other factors that jumped onto the scene, but some of them no longer seem to affect me the same way anymore. I’m out of the funk that “winter” (I put it that way because Cali doesn’t have a traditional winter that other states get to experience) brought forth, and I am feeling a lot better! I must admit, I felt a lot better last month, but this month just feels fresher. It is indeed a new year so that might have something to do with it as well?

Late last year, I had started a few things that I was hoping to hear back from, but didn’t hear back right away. One of those things indeed sprang up with good news for me.

There was a call for submissions to an online magazine. I answered that call, even when I was a little down in the dumps and wasn’t even sure I was up to the task.

I did it anyway.

I did it because I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, and that I didn’t need to be fearful of others not connecting to my work. Especially an article with a theme.

I created the article, submitted it, and waited to hear back about it. When I heard nothing after a month or so, I decided to reach out. The response was positive! I had an article that was accepted!

Now, this wasn’t the only article that I had written, and not the only publication I wrote an article for, but it was one I was trying to get to because it was new. Pleasantly enough, I also write articles for San Diego Voice and Viewpoint, so having that experience was extremely helpful to submit to a different publication.

I’m getting off track here. To say that my 2020 isn’t starting off promising would be a lie! Albeit, I started these changes at the same time I felt like life was going awful for me. I put them out in hopes that it would be just the thing I needed to cause a positive shift in my life, to pull me out of whatever muck I was feeling. I just didn’t know that it would come about at this time. It really took patience (which I do have) for these things to come back with news, great news at that.

I’m still working on my own projects (I’m still trying to wrap up “The Sorceress” and also my novella “Bela’s Bride”) as well as another that has more to do with my editing skills. I’m keeping myself busy!

I say all of this to share that life took me to a place I didn’t want to be, but I waded through the murky waters anyway. I allowed myself to be swept away with no direction. Still, I had to trust that things would get better and they are. Slowly, but getting there. I am actively doing what I can on my end to get it there.

As for the article with Nura Magazine, I am so pleased to have someone else see my work and accept it. It just reminded me that as long as I value myself, others will see that same value and meet me there. I am going to celebrate every little victory I have along this journey. I am so looking forward to wrapping up my books and showing you all the value of those as well, and hope that you will meet me there.

[image error]My article about relationships and the societal norms viewing gender roles in said relationships evolving.

Writing Two Books? No Problem!!

Good morning!!!

I have been typing away, scribbling on paper as well, regarding not only “The Sorceress” but another little novella that has been a side project. Just a little. Nothing crazy.

“Bela’s Bride” is my next piece, but I’m struggling with trying to decide if I should definitely make it a release, or just put it on here! Issue with putting it on this here blog is that it is way too long for a blog format. Who would read all of that on a blog? A BLOG! I don’t know if I would.

“The Sorceress” is literally 90% done–which I’m very excited about. It hasn’t been easy. It was very smooth and then it got a little tough towards the middle. I pushed through because I believe in this story. Makaela is having a wild ride with Andrei’s advances and the Dark Mother attacking her. D’s family is about to touch down in London town with D leading the charge. Ursula is MIA as of right now. The story is progressing, the climax is coming, and I can’t wait to share this last installment in the Makaela Williams series with you all.

As for “Bela’s Bride”, my MC is having some difficulty with her dreams. She’s being seduced, let’s just leave it at that! I don’t want to give too much away concerning “Bela’s Bride” because it’s a huge departure from “The Sorceress”, “Whispers of the Flesh” and “Voices on the Air”. It’s also my first foray into the world of erotic horror. Writing “Bela’s Bride” was just a side thing, but it taken on a life of its own and wants to be read.

Amongst those two are a ton of other short stories that I’ve been playing with, but writing those two books (maybe just one, but I’ll decide during the editing stage) has been my main concern. Makaela’s story is what really drives me, it’s my first baby. It has helped me grow as a writer, and I’m still continuing to grow through “Bela’s Bride”! It’s exciting, it’s thrilling, and it’s keeping me from going insane (hardy-har-har).

This winter is going to be full! Writing two books is a challenge for me, but I’m up for it!

I Let NaNoWriMo BEAT ME!

Oh, my comrades! I’ve allowed myself to defeat myself via NaNoWriMo.

I went into it thinking ‘Yes, I’m going to reach my goal this time, I won’t let myself get taken down by the big, bad procrastination monster. Nope, not this time!’ and what happened? You guessed it. I let it eat me alive!

Now, now let’s not get carried away with talks of regret, stew in disappointment, wade in waters of woe. I’d much rather talk about how I allowed this to happen in the first place. How I managed to get behind by less than 20k words (and I definitely will need more for “The Sorceress”; I am fleshing out a ton of scenes and I’m not even in the editing stage) of reaching my 60k word goal.

It all started with a loss. A little loss, but a loss nonetheless. I allowed my own thoughts to get in the way of achieving this seemingly easy feat. I let distractions…well…distract me, for lack of a better word. Yet, I take absolute full accountability for it. Once I realized what was happening, I tried to put some steam into it, but by then it was already too late. I had disappeared beneath the murky and angry waves of despair, my word goal just within reach but only my fingertips managed to tickle the 60k goal before I was lost to the waves. Shame. Shame on me! Doom to my house!

I could always blame Mercury’s retrograde shadow period, but I cannot. That would be wrong AND lame. It was my own doing, or undoing rather. Silly, silly me.

So, I decided to come here and procrastinate some more *maniacal laughter*. Yes! I decided to come here and write about my self-imposed “failure”, but to me, it is actually really helpful doing this and not having done it at all because I know I am not the only writer who has suffered at the hands of NaNoWriMo. Like the commercial for those seeking compensation due to suffering from the effects caused by Mesothelioma, I am reaching out via my piece here to see who else has been hurt by NaNoWriMo…or themselves.

“The Sorceress” is…whew! She’s taking me there, but I have to remember that no matter what is happening outside of my work, I have to continue to move forward. Mentally, I was exhausted. Emotionally, I was beaten. And it was all taking a bit of a toll on me physically. Even with all of that, I know that I have a goal and I can’t stop for one thing. I have my low periods, my shortcomings, but I have to do what I have to do. My story demands more of me. I should demand more of myself. I’ve let myself get lost in the sauce of life’s darker moments, and almost allowed my story to slip away. Depression or sadness be damned, I may have missed my goal during NaNoWriMo, but I refuse to let my story go unfinished. I may be slow and I may missed my target date, but I will finish my book.

Maybe next NaNoWriMo I can beat the goal, and my own sabotaging ways.

Here’s to all of you who entered, who reached your goal and then some, and for those who entered and didn’t meet your goal. As long as we all started, that’s what matters most. We started, we wrote as much as we could, and we’re better for it. At least now, we know we can do it. The trick is sticking to it.

The Hour is HERE!

With Halloween a mere few days away, the book I’ve been waiting to be released is now physical, and AVAILABLE!!!

‘Hell Hour: A Horror Anthology’ launched October 26th, and I don’t think anyone has been as excited as myself! I’ve been awaiting its arrival like Ned Stark was awaiting winter in GoT. Except this reception is not as ominous and deadly… at least I don’t think so. Maybe.

I wrote “The House That Stood” specifically for this anthology once I saw that they were accepting submissions for it. I worked feverishly on the short story, hammering out 5,000 and some odd words, putting together a vision of suspense and horror as best as I could. I didn’t expect it to be accepted, myself being a bit of a pessimist about my own work at times, but once I received news that it was, I was overjoyed! It lit a fire under my behind like I had never had before (hold your booty jokes, okay?). I was just excited to be able to say I wrote a short horror story, let alone it got accepted to be in the anthology!

Yes, there were edits made, and it’s necessary. However, the finished product was still truly of me and by me. To send it over to the amazing people at Abomination Media for a final time made me feel like I was sending my child out into the world, and I couldn’t have been happier.

I am included in the anthology along with several other amazing writers. I so look forward to receiving my physical copy, holding it in my hands, and having the world read it and, hopefully, get the shivers. To get your hands on your own copy, get on over to Amazon! As a writer, I am elated, and as a fan of horror, I am rejoicing!

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Almost That Time!!! HALLOWEEN TIME!

*breathes in* Do you guys smell that? No, not that pumpkin spice crap, I’m talking about the smell of new costumes and…wait, does Halloween even have a scent? Probably not. I tried!

Boils and ghouls, we are almost to the witching hour of All Hallow’s Eve! I can feel the excitement moving through me, but no one is more excited than my little monster. Of course he loves Halloween only because there’s free candy involved that he didn’t have to work for, so there’s that. Why I enjoy Halloween is rather simple: horror movies.

Yes, yes! The movies! The blood, the carnage, the guts, the blood curdling screams, the crawling and walking dead! Vampires, witches, zombies, wolves, monsters from the deep, and more! That is my favorite thing about Halloween and has been since I’ve been allowed to trick or treat. The movies that get played on TV were always amongst the highlights of Halloween for me. I’m sure I am NOT alone in this (I know I’m not, I’m actually in a few groups geared towards thi—nevermind).

My favorite movies to enjoy were always zombies films. You can’t get me to not watch “Night of the Living Dead”, “Dawn of the Dead”, and “Land of the Dead” back to back. I am certain I’ve watched “Dawn of the Dead” more times than any other movie that I own. I watch it even when Halloween is nowhere near coming around! My love for horror runs deep, thanks to my Gran Gran (grandmother, may she rest peacefully). She introduced me to many great shows, including “The Outer Limits”, “Tales from the Dark Side” and, of course, “Tales from the Crypt”.

I’ve watched 80s slasher films (looking at you, Jason Vorhees and Freddy Krueger) on up to super gore remakes (“Evil Dead” remake was….nuts). I still cannot get enough. Although I enjoy these films all year long, Halloween just makes it all the more special!

What are some of your favorite horror films to feast your eyes on when Halloween comes around? Any at all? Share with me!

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To Self-Edit or Not To Self-Edit (But It’ll Cost You)

Good day, mates!

I have been writing since I could write, and I’ve always been a fan of just going off at the cuff. I would write for hours as a kid and later a teen, editing as I went. Some writers actually frown at this though. Why? Because you should just let it all flow freely until the very end, when the story is complete.

But I am what I am! I am a writer who edits as she writes!

Sue me!

I actually self-edit because I have the know-how to do it. If there’s something I don’t know I am willing to seek outside help and understanding until I know better. Then when I know better, I do better! See that? It always works out. Yet, it is heavily encouraged that when you have the funds (because you will most certainly need the money for it) you should hire a professional editor. Someone who is outside of you, able to catch those things that you weren’t able to.

The more I think on it the more desirable it sounds. However, you really do have to make sure you are able to pay the normal asking price for a quality editor if you really want your story/book to POP! That can run you anywhere from $25/hr – $80/hr, depending on the level of editing you need. And the number of pages or words. It sounds intimidating, but it’s definitely something to consider if you don’t want to have control over the process of bringing your story to fruition–you just want to write. Which makes sense as a writer. You just want to do the creative piece of it all. All of the other running parts you can leave to a pro if you are able to.

But that’s where I come into play for myself.

That’s why I aim to learn as much as I possibly can about editing so I can do my OWN editing. Or maybe I’m just a big control freak and don’t want anyone touching my sh*t because I’m sensitive about it (shout to E. Badu). I do enjoy doing it myself. The hard work of reading over your own story and the creation you just manifested may be daunting, but it’s something I would do over and over again. And I have!

As a writer, though, I will say if you have the means, certainly get an editor if you don’t want to edit your story yourself. Or you’re not good at it and feel you will benefit greatly from having an outside resource. There’s nothing wrong with it. Just make sure you have your ducks in a row money-wise, and go for broke if you can. Half-assed editing is not cute!

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How Can You Do It?

Good morning!

It’s easy to start off the day with a smile, even if you have to force it. That’s kind of what I do because who wants to see a grumpy old lady? Not that I’m grumpy or an old lady, it just appears that way when you’re not smiling. Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked!

It’s a conscious decision for me to start my day thinking highly and positively of the day before it begins. I have to, or else my mind will take a rather sharp turn into thoughts that shouldn’t be there. It’s a trick really. I trick my brain. I have to because my mind is constantly thinking, overthinking, and over the overthinking. I have to remind myself to breathe, sink into my body, and be in the moment.

I try to think too far ahead and it really messes me up. Especially in regards to my writing, namely my book.

“The Sorceress” is still coming along rather smoothly because I am taking my time. I have a deadline that I’ve set for myself, but I still like to think that I’m just taking it easy. And I am, for the most part.

But then my mind goes to the places that most writers’ minds head to: doubt.

I begin to doubt my ability, doubt that I will finish this book and that then, in turn, makes me doubt myself in other ways. It’s a poison that permeates through one side of the brain to the next until all is covered by a blanket of “you cannot do this”.

But I inject the serum.

Slowly. Little by little.

I set a course for reminding myself of how far I’ve come, how far I aim to go, and how silly it would be for me to go back or stop. I take time to ground myself. Realize who I am and what I am, then reaffirm those positive things I know of myself. The serum seeps into those infected parts and makes me rise from the darkness I’ve allowed to corrupt my mind.

So how can I do it? It’s not easy, but I do it because I can’t do anything else. I don’t want to. I do it by giving myself the freedom to fail but the comfort of knowing that I can always try again, and the triumph is in the trying.

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The Written Life podcast, Chapter 7: “The Sorceress” Chapter 1 Sneak Peak

Good morning! It is Monday, and it is GLORIOUS!

And with today comes a new chapter for my podcast, The Written Life!

In this chapter, I got to do some reading out loud! Yes, I gave a chapter share, a chapter reading if you will. It was tough because I’m not a public speaker, so my throat was definitely getting parched, and also because it was hard for me to read my own work aloud. I’m so used to just hearing it in my head that it was odd for me to hear my voice trying to bring these characters in the first chapter to life. However, I thought it was great!

Would I do another reading? I sure would! I think I’d just make sure to have some cool water prepared for that.

That’s enough with the chit chat, it’s time to get into the podcast chapter for The Written Life!

Chapter 1 of “The Sorceress” went by very quickly for me in terms of writing it. It was the quickest because I was just excited and happy to get something down finally for my third installment in the Makaela Williams series. All of the other chapters to follow will be and are hard for me, I won’t lie. I’m already on the 6th chapter of the book and when I tell you I am really pushing it out, I really am.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy writing. It’s a great joy for me, but it does not come without challenges. Most things in life do, even things we love! But it doesn’t make me love it less, if that makes sense.

So, without further stalling, I present to you Chapter 7 of The Written Life podcast, Chapter 1 reading of “The Sorceress”. The Written Life is FREE and available on all streaming platforms, most notably Spotify and the home of my podcast, Anchor; uploaded every Friday to get you ready for the weekend and carry you into the following week! Please don’t forget to share if you care, and subscribe to follow my podcast to keep up.

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