Shea McGee's Blog, page 7

Extra Extra! It’s a 7-7-7 Tag!

I’ve been tagged by Senita Mahoney (@ZenitaDee) on Twitter for the 7-7-7 tag.

I tag @PhebeOhYes @LillianBlaire @KayAyDowling @Ned_the_Zombie @JenGolembiewski @MichaelSpecks @SonnieRobin

Rules: Go to page 7 of your WIP, share 7 sentences, and then pass it along to 7 people

Book Two is Coming…

Here’s the first chapter of book two, Whispers of the Flesh for you guys! I’m very excited to work on this, and it is a labor of LOVE so I won’t be rushing it. I didn’t rush the first, so I don’t want to do that with this one either. I didn’t edit it or anything, so if you see any grammatical errors just remember it’s a work in progress, mkay? Other than that, enjoy!:

 

Chapter One

 

“Save a little space for me in your heart, darling. Save a little space for me.

Leave a little thought for me in your mind, baby, leave a little thought of me.

I just want you to lean on me a while, tender touch and sweetest smile.

Save a little space for me in your heart, darling. Save a little space for me.”

I rolled my eyes and turned to look at Sandy. “Why the hell are we at this sad ass spoken word night? I can’t believe I let you pull me in here.”

Sandy’s eyes glittered with the laughter she couldn’t quite bust out in. Her smirk told me everything I needed to know. I just shook my head, crossed my arms across my chest and pulled my chin down. I really wanted to be home, but it wasn’t entirely because of this event.

I hadn’t felt quite the same since everything that happened to me, much thanks to Andrei. I was still having a hard time digesting the news of my new “form” that I didn’t ask for. I didn’t do well with any of it, and when he did try to call, I ignored his calls. I sent him straight to voicemail because I wasn’t ready to talk. I was still reeling and needed my space. I did need my time to take it in, but there was this nagging feeling that I couldn’t ignore him for long. Aside from the fact that he didn’t like being shut down, he had a bit of a hold on me—just a smidge. I still wanted to be near him, and that was worrying me because I was pretty sure I didn’t love him let alone like him for that matter! And still, I had this senseless need to be near him. I assumed it was just that way because he was the one who pulled me into his world, made me what he is. I didn’t like that feeling, but I let it go every time it crept up on me. The last thing I wanted or needed was me feeling like I needed anyone. I didn’t want to feel that way ever again.

When Sandy finally took me home, I lamented on the thoughts and feelings I was having. I didn’t think it was unhealthy, but I certainly didn’t think it was right either. I grabbed a bottle of room temperature water, cracking the lid open. My cat sauntered out of the shadows of my room, finally gracing me with his presence. Lately he hadn’t had much of a desire to be near me. He even hissed at me, which took me by complete surprise because he had never done that to me before. Not until I was made into something else did he start his hostile mannerisms around me. He avoided me the same way I was avoiding Andrei. He left voicemails and I chose to let them go unheard. I figured since I was home alone (save for Mr. Chow) I might as well give them a listen, hear what he had to say.

Most of it had been him proclaiming his need to speak to me right away. I deleted them. He didn’t have nothing important to say, at least not an apology. He wasn’t sounding the way I needed him to in light of our situation.

Then there was a rapping at my door. I closed my eyes because I knew who it was before he even said anything. Very patiently, I walked to my door and stood there waiting for the next knock to sound. “I know you’re there, Makaela, I can feel you on the other side of the door. Stop your childish ways and let’s talk.” I heard Andrei’s muffled voice.

A smirk spread across my lips because I was deeply satisfied that he knew I was here but wasn’t going to let him get the better of me. Not again. “I’m not going to do that. I’m still not entirely happy with you.”

I waited to hear more of what he had to say, to hear him plead with me, but he said nothing. It was just me staring at the middle of my door. I started to wonder if he had left until I saw the top lock knob on my door began to turn. Perplexed, I went to it and tried to stop it from opening. It was beyond my control as it completed its turn, then my doorknob began to turn.

“What the hell, Andrei?” I reached for the knob.

My door pushed open and there he was, but he wasn’t alone. His beautiful hazel golden eyes met mine and I let some of the anger and annoyance melt away, but I still held a hint of both. Then my eyes darted to the tall, statuesque woman standing beside him.

She was both striking and fearsome, and still I felt like her presence made me feel at ease as the rest of my anger magically dissipated. I didn’t know her, but I felt like I had seen her before, and like we had known one another for many years. My brows furrowed as I admired her standing in the doorway. It was difficult, but I managed to escape her eyes and give them to Andrei.

“I apologize, I didn’t mean for Ursula to invade your space, but it is imperative that we speak,” Andrei broke our gaze to lend his eyes to Ursula. She looked absolutely pleased with herself as she smiled, her eyes held a certain amount of warmth that maternal figures had. Andrei just shook his head and returned his hazel gaze my way. “May we come in? I wish to not further intrude on your personal time anymore than we already have.”

I thought about it, then nodded because I felt foolish just standing there with them in the doorway. Andrei entered and then Ursula as she closed the door behind her. She didn’t lock it. I was beginning to think she didn’t need to.

They both took their time getting to my sofa to sit. Ursula gracefully slid onto the couch, her legs crossed, hands laid on her lap. She sat up straight, spine erect, and I could tell she held herself to the highest esteem no matter where she was. Seeing her just killed all of the fascination I had for Andrei because she was everything that he was and more. Unexpectedly, I could feel her energy lift from her body, almost like a cooling heat. I felt as if my pores had opened at that moment and welcomed her in like an old friend. All of her heat was feeding me, and I gobbled up her energy; swallowing it down like a fine wine in huge gulps. I closed my eyes and let her take over me, breathing along my skin.

“She is…more. Definitely more than your last, I can assure you of that,” I heard Ursula’s velvety sweet voice fill the room. I was still in the thralls of the energy binding that was taking place. It moved all over and through me. The sensation pulled a gasp from me, and I licked my lips as if to taste it, to see if it was as delicious as it felt and I didn’t know why. I didn’t understand anything that was happening to me. I just accepted it. I could always ask after the fact.

“Okay, Ursula, that’s enough. You overstep your bounds now. She is mine, don’t lose sight of that.” Andrei’s voice burned with anger but I felt none of that. I was too busy reveling in this moment that was being shared with me.

“You are right,” Ursula sighed. “But if you had fed her, she wouldn’t be so resentful of you. I fed you when I turned you, you should’ve extended that same courtesy to your youngling,” Ursula pulled back her energy so suddenly that I stumbled forward.

I was once again back in my skin, and the annoyance returned. Once I finally opened my eyes, I glared at Andrei to read his face. What I saw made me grin. “Jealous?”

When I met his eyes this time they were glowing. They showed like molted gold, fiery and bright. I wasn’t phased. He couldn’t scare me anymore as my anger was building up inside of me. I had my own rage to match his, maybe even more. I could feel him running over my skin as goosebumps prickled up, but I didn’t back down.

Ursula watched with amused eyes, sitting back and enjoying the show. “As fun as this is to watch, this is quite ridiculous of you both. And a word to the wise, Andrei, I’d back down if I were you. She is not at all like your former. She will indeed fight you inch for inch.”

There must have been something on my face or maybe Andrei was finally done being a sore brat, but his eyes slowly returned to their normal hazel hue as he settled back into the couch. I could feel the heat leave my body as I felt spent. I needed to have a seat, and my body was letting me know that as I stumbled over my feet like a newly born fawn. Joy filled laughter escaped from Ursula, clapping her hands as she did. I ignored her as I finally reached my love seat to sit down and gave Andrei my attention.

“Who is this and what do you guys want?” I began rubbing my temples. I could feel a headache coming on, and was no longer in the mood for small talk. I needed immediate answers.

“I’m Ursula, sweet one. Andrei here has told me nothing of you, but I can see that you’re a very impatient girl. Andrei was my youngling long ago. I’ve come to see about him and you,” Ursula gave me one of the sweetest, kindest smiles I’d ever seen on anyone—man or woman. Her blue eyes sparkled.

For all her mothering warmth, I still didn’t completely trust her. Her gentle tone of voice and friendly blue eyes did nothing to change that, but I did like that she could speak for herself.

“She is here because there is someone from my past who also knows of you, but could possibly bring you harm,” Andrei finally appeared calm. I further laid back on my love seat to take in the news in comfort.

“She’s here, and she’s not like me, or Ursula for that matter. She’s here to cause us a great deal of pain. She may come after you to get to me, but we can’t let that happen.” Andrei scooted closer to the edge of the sofa, trying to be nearer to me. He clasped his strong hands together, nerves painfully visible, wiring through them. “I apologize for what I’ve done to you. I can’t change any of that now, but what I can do is protect you. My travel to Europe has to wait…unless you come with me.”

“With us.” Ursula spit out. She leaned forward to look at me, her cream colored blouse under her shiny forest green suit jacket caught my eye as it opened a bit, leaving a peek of pale skin. She looked expensive, worldly and sophisticated while I looked like road kill and tired in my gray sweatpants and white t-shirt. Both were oversized on my small frame. I didn’t start to feel self-conscious until I noticed that they both were pretty well-dressed.

Andrei nodded. “Yes, with us. Unfortunately, someone hitched a ride on my jet without warning, but I am glad all the same.”

“Of course you are! I brought you important news, I think that deserves a tiny bit of gratitude at the very least.” Ursula fixed her jacket and smoothed down her pant legs, her silvery white curls spilled forward as she did.

I weakly smiled at them both because I really couldn’t say anything else. I was starting to feel like I could sleep at any moment, but was trying hard not to. I smiled instead because I wanted to say something smug but decided against it, so a smile it was. Andrei returned the smile back to me, reaching his hand out to touch my knee, rubbing against it back and forth in a comforting motion. “I’d like it very much if you came with us back to Europe, back to Romania with me. It’s quiet, the land is plentiful, and no harm will come to you there.”

I shook my head. “I have a life. I have a job. I can’t just run off because of a mistake you made years, hell, centuries before me! I would need some fair warning to get my shit in order, don’t you think? This is all short notice for me.”

“It was short notice for us all, I’m afraid, but that’s the only sane choice I can give you at this time.”Andrei’s eyes pleaded with me.

“That is not the only option you have, Andrei. I swore you said you’d prepare her and then fight for her, am I not correct?” Ursula interjected.

Andrei turned his head as his voice boomed with force. “ We cannot fight her. We don’t have time for that, you know this. The only logical choice is to take her from here and away from the danger. I cannot have her fighting something she knows nothing about.”

“What is it? Who is it? You haven’t told me anything,” I yelled, feeling even more drained since I had to raise my voice.

They both turned their attention to me. Ursula then looked over at Andrei, leaving him to explain what was going on. “I told you about Cosmina, and who she is, what she is, cor—“

“Yep, you sure did.” I cut him off from explaining so he could get to the real meat of what I wanted to know. “She’s the crazy lady who had you kidnap some poor village girl and you two chopped off her head and made her into some sort of zombie slave thing to kill your dad, right?”

Andrei’s eyes glimmered as he nodded. “Yes, that’s the short of it. Well, she’s here, in San Diego, and knows about you as well. I hadn’t felt her presence before, but I feel it now. It’s weak but still there, meaning she isn’t very close—she’s just close enough. She might not be in her full power at the moment and may use a minion like Ananda to come after you instead of her directly coming to you. She may have already seen you. I’m sure she can feel you as I feel her and knows you’re now in my power. I fear she may get to you while your guard is down, of course, and when you least expect anything to happen to you. I want to prepare you, but I don’t know how much time we have hence why leaving is what I now suggest we do.”

I stuck my pointing finger in my mouth then pulled it out, pointing it up in the air as if to check the temperature of the room. Andrei closed his eyes and dropped his head.

Ursula looked confused as she turned her body to Andrei. “What does that mean? Why is she checking for the wind?”

Andrei cut his eyes at Ursula. “She’s being a brat, she’s not listening to me.”

“I’m not being a brat, I’m just not leaving with you guys. I heard what you had to say, and I still can’t leave until I have my shit taken care of first,” I wiped the wetness off of my finger onto my sweatpants. “You have to give me a chance to say goodbye to the people I care about. If I just up and disappeared, they’d have a heart attack.”

Ursula’s ruby red lips laid side ways, half smirking, half wanting to laugh. “Surely they wouldn’t actually die from your absence. You’re incorrigible.”

I tilted my head. “Okay, time for y’all to get out. I’m tired. I’ll think about it and will let you know my decision tomorrow or whatever. I promise.”

Ursula threw up her hands and stood abruptly from the sofa. “This is an outrage. She doesn’t seem to take anything seriously. Come, Andrei, let’s leave your little pet to her thoughts.”

Andrei slowly rose from the sofa, his black slacks smoothing down his legs to touch the tops of his black leathered shoes. I scanned his body over, finally going up the length of him to catch his eyes. His dress shirt was neatly tucked into his slacks, black belt securing them. As usual the top two buttons of his simple dress shirt were undone, his gorgeously tanned skin showed. I noticed the buttons of his cuffs were undone as well. This was the first time I’d ever seen him look slightly relaxed. His hair was still slicked back from his beautifully structured face so he wasn’t so outside of his normal look, but just enough to let me know he was kind of unhinged. Just a touch. He took the few steps to lean over me, his lips barely touching my cheek. “Please do not keep me waiting. If I do not hear from you then I’ll be the one who has a heart attack.” At last he laid a kiss on my cheek. I felt the tips of his fingers under my chin as he slowly turned my head to face him. A lump developed in my throat, my heart nearly skipped a beat when I peered into his eyes. He laid a kiss on my lips, our eyes still locked, then he pulled away.

“Don’t leave me to worry.”

I cleared my throat and nodded. I was afraid my voice would’ve broke if I spoke. Once I felt confident that it was cleared, I tried. “I won’t. You don’t have to worry about me. Thank you for coming, Andrei.”

“Oh do come along now, Andrei. Leave her be, you love sick puppy!” Ursula commanded. She leaned against the door, hand on the knob.

Andrei met her at the door, giving me one last parting look. If I didn’t know anything else in this world, I would’ve said the look he gave me said he was in love, or really great at faking it. Either way, it hit me in deep in my feels as I had the swelling need to rush to him and cover him with my body, kissing him all over his chiseled face. When they went out and closed the door, I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding. For all of my talk, I wasn’t angry with him or even exasperated. I felt a slight chill creep up my spine with the knowledge that I was now a target with no understanding of how to defend myself. Shook was not the word for it. Pissing in my pants was more like it.

 

Now that you’ve had a taste of that, don’t forget the first book Voices on the Air is available for your reading pleasure on Amazon, Apple, and Google Play Books.

 

New Book, Who Dis??? – SoundCloud

New podcast for my channel The Written Life i up and ready!!!

Listen to New Book, Who Dis??? by The Written Life #np on #SoundCloud

New Book, Who This?…

Happy NaNoWriMo to you all out there who are writing or have writing goals this month of April in the year of our Lord 2018.

It’s been a great time to be alive and to create. I took a break from writing longer works, and have been doing shorter pieces instead. It’s been working for me and has given me plenty of inspiration to go on. It’s led me here to start on my second book in my Makaela Williams series, and I look forward to sharing some of it with you guys on here.

So, without further ado, I bring to you the first chapter of the book, Whispers of the Flesh: 

 

Chapter One

“Save a little space for me in your heart, darling. Save a little space for me.

Leave a little thought for me in your mind, baby, leave a little thought of me.

I just want you to lean on me a while, tender touch and sweetest smile.

Save a little space for me in your heart, darling. Save a little space for me.”

I rolled my eyes and turned to look at Sandy. “Why the hell are we at this sad ass spoken word night? I can’t believe I let you pull me in here.”

Sandy’s eyes glittered with the laughter she couldn’t quite bust out in. Her smirk told me everything I needed to know. I just shook my head, crossed my arms across my chest and pulled my chin down. I really wanted to be home, but it wasn’t because of this event.

I hadn’t felt quite the same since everything that happened to me, much thanks to Andrei. I was still having a hard time digesting the news of my new “form” that I didn’t ask for. I didn’t do well with any of it, and when he did try to call, I ignored them. I sent him straight to voicemail because I wasn’t ready to talk. I was still reeling, and needed my space. I did need my time to take it in, but there was this nagging feeling that I couldn’t ignore him for long. Aside from the fact that he didn’t like being shut down, he had a bit of a hold on me—just a smidge. I still wanted to be near him, and that was worrying me because I was pretty sure I didn’t love him let alone like him, for that matter! And still, I had this senseless need to be near him. I assumed it was just that way because he was the one who pulled me into his world, made me what he is. I didn’t like that feeling, but I let it go every time it crept up on me. The last thing I wanted or needed was me feeling like I needed anyone. I didn’t want to feel that way ever again.

When Sandy finally took me home, I lamented on the thoughts and feelings I was having. I didn’t think it was unhealthy, but I certainly didn’t think it was right either. I grabbed a bottle of room temperature water, cracking the lid open. My cat sauntered out of the shadows of my room, finally gracing me with his presence. Lately, he hadn’t had much of a desire to be near me. He even hissed at me, which took me by complete surprise because he had never done that to me before. Not until I was made into something else did he start his hostile mannerisms around me. He avoided me the same way I was avoiding Andrei. He left voicemails and I chose to let them go unheard. I figured since I was home alone (save for Mr. Chow) I might as well give them a listen, hear what he had to say.

Most of it had been him proclaiming his need to speak to me right away. I deleted them. He didn’t have nothing important to say, at least not an apology. He wasn’t sounding the way I needed him to in light of our situation.

Then there was a rapping at my door. I rolled my eyes because I knew who it was before he even said anything. Very patiently, I walked to my door and stood there waiting for the next knock to sound. “I know you’re there, Makaela, I can feel you on the other side of the door. Stop your childish ways and let’s talk.” I heard Andrei’s muffled voice.

A smirk spread across my lips because I was deeply satisfied that he knew I was here but wasn’t going to let him get the better of me. Not again. “I’m not I going to do that. I’m still not entirely happy with you, good sir.”

I waited to hear more of what he had to say, to hear him plead with me, but he said nothing. It was just me staring at the middle of a door. I started to wonder if he had left until I saw the top lock knob on my door began to turn. Perplexed, I went to it and tried to stop it from opening. It was beyond my control as it completed its turn, then my knob began to turn.

“What the hell, Andrei?” I reached for the knob.

My door pushed open and there he was, but he wasn’t alone. His beautiful hazel golden eyes met mine and I let some of the anger and annoyance melt away, but I still held an edge of both. Then my eyes darted to the tall, statuesque woman standing beside him. She was both breathtaking and intriguing. Her presence made me feel at ease, and the rest of my anger faded away. I didn’t know her, but I felt like I had seen her before, and like we had known one another for many years. My brows furrowed as I admired her standing in the doorway. It was difficult, but I managed to escape her eyes and give them to Andrei.

“I apologize, I didn’t mean for Ursula to invade your space, but it is imperative that we speak,” Andrei broke our gaze to lend his eyes to Ursula. She looked absolutely pleased with herself as she smiled, her eyes held a certain amount of warmth that maternal figures had. Andrei just shook his head and returned his eyes to face me. “May we come in? I wish to not further intrude on your personal time anymore than we already have.”

I paused but then nodded because I felt foolish just standing there with them in the doorway. Andrei entered and then Ursula as she closed the door behind her. She didn’t lock it. I was beginning to think she didn’t need to.

They both took their time getting to my sofa to sit. Ursula gracefully slid onto the couch, her legs crossed, hands laid on her lap. She looked so regal and I could tell she held herself that way no matter where she was. Seeing her just killed all of the fascination I had for Andrei because she was everything that he was and more. I then could feel her energy lift from her body, almost like a cooling heat. I felt as if my pores had opened at that moment and welcomed her in like an old friend. All of her heat was feeding me, and I fed from her energy; swallowing it down like a fine wine all at once. I closed my eyes and let her take over me, breathing along my skin.

“She is…more. Definitely more than your last, I can assure you of that,” I heard Ursula’s velvety sweet voice fill the room. I was still in the thralls of all of the energy binding that was taking place. It moved all over and through me. The sensation pulled a gasp from me, licking my lips as if to taste it on my mouth to see if it was as delicious as it felt, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t understand anything that was happening to me, I just accepted it. I could always ask after the fact.

“Okay, Ursula, that’s enough. You overstep your bounds now. She is mine, don’t lose sight of that.” Andrei’s voice burned with anger but I felt none of that. I was too busy reveling in this moment that was being shared with me.

“You are right,” Ursula sighed. “But if you had fed her, she wouldn’t be so resentful of you. I fed you when I turned you, you should’ve extended that same courtesy to your youngling,” Ursula pulled back her energy so suddenly that I stumbled forward.

I was once again back in my skin, and annoyed. Once I finally opened my eyes, I glared at Andrei to read his face. What I saw made me smirk. “Jealous?”

When I met his eyes this time they were glowing. They showed like molted gold, fiery and bright. I wasn’t phased. He couldn’t scare me anymore as my anger was building up inside of me. I had my own rage to outmatch his. I could feel him running over my skin, goosebumps prickling up, but I didn’t back down.

Ursula watched in amusement, sitting back and enjoying the show. “As fun as this is to watch, this is quite childish of you both. And a word to the wise, Andrei, I’d back down if I were you. She is not at all like your former. She will indeed fight you inch for inch.”

There must have been something on my face or maybe Andrei was finally done being a sore brat, but his eyes slowly returned to their normal hazel hue as he settled back into the couch. I could feel the heat leave my body as I felt spent. I needed to have a seat, and my body was letting me know that as I stumbled over my feet like a newly born fawn. Joy filled laughter escaped from Ursula, clapping her hands as she did. I ignored her as I finally reached my love seat to sit down and gave Andrei my attention.

“Who is this and what do you guys want?” I asked Andrei, rubbing my temples. I could feel a headache coming on, no longer in the mood for small talk. I needed immediate answers.

“I’m Ursula, sweet one. Andrei here has told me nothing of you, but I can see that you’re a very impatient girl. Andrei was my youngling long ago. I’ve come to see about him and you,” Ursula gave me one of the sweetest, kindest smiles I’d ever seen on anyone—man or woman.

I still didn’t completely trust her, and her gentle tone of voice and friendly blue eyes did nothing to change that. I did like that she could speak for herself.

“She is here because there is someone from my past who also knows of you, but could possibly bring you harm,” Andrei finally appeared calm. I further laid back on my love seat to take in the news.

“She’s here, and she’s not like me, or Ursula for that matter. She’s here to cause us a great deal of pain. She may come after you to get to me, but we can’t let that happen.” Andrei scooted closer to the edge of the sofa, trying to be nearer to me. He clasped his hands together, nerves painfully visible, wiring through them. “I apologize for what I’ve done to you. I can’t change any of that now, but what I can do is protect you. My travel to Europe has to wait…unless you come with me.”

“With us.” Ursula spit out. She leaned forward to look at me, her cream colored blouse under her shiny forest green suit jacket catch my eye as it opened a bit, leaving a peek of pale skin. She looked expensive, worldly and sophisticated while I looked like road kill and tired in my gray sweatpants and white t-shirt. Both were oversized on my small frame. I didn’t start to feel self-conscious until I noticed that they both were pretty well-dressed.

Andrei nodded. “Yes, with us. Unfortunately, someone hitched a ride on my jet without warning, but I am glad all the same.”

“Of course you are! I brought you important news, I think that deserves a tiny bit of gratitude at the very least.” Ursula fixed her jacket, her silvery white curls spilled forward as she did.

I smiled at them both because I really couldn’t say anything else. I was starting to feel like I could sleep at any moment, but was trying hard not to. I smiled instead because I wanted to say something smug but decided against it. Instead, I tried for something nice. Andrei returned a smile back to me, reaching his hand out to touch my knee, rubbing against it back and forth in a comforting motion. “I’d like it very much if you can come with us back to Europe, back to Romania with me. It’s quiet, the land is plentiful, and no harm will come to you there.”

I shook my head. “I have a life. I have a job. I can’t just run off because of a mistake you made years, hell, centuries before me! I would need some fair warning to get my shit in order, don’t you think? This is all short notice for me.”

“It was short notice for us all, I’m afraid, but that’s the only sane choice I can give you at this time.”Andrei’s eyes pleaded with me.

“That is not the only option you have, Andrei. I swore you said you’d prepare her and then fight for her, am I not correct?” Ursula interjected.

Andrei turned his head and sounded unhappy with Ursula. “ We cannot fight her. We don’t have time for that, you know this. The only logical choice is to take her from her and away from the danger. I cannot have her fighting something she knows nothing about.”

“What is it? Who is it? You haven’t told me anything,” I yelled, feeling even more drained since I had to raise my voice.

They both turned their attention to me. Ursula then looked over at Andrei, leaving him to explain what was going on. “I told you about Cosmina, and who she is, what she is, cor—“

“Yep, you sure did.” I cut him off from explaining so he could get to the real meat of what I wanted to know. “She’s the crazy lady who had you kidnap some poor village girl and you two chopped off her head and made her into some sort of zombie slave thing to kill your dad, right?”

Andrei’s eyes glimmered as he nodded. “Yes, that’s the short of it. Well, she’s here, in San Diego, and knows about you as well. I hadn’t felt her presence before, but I feel it now. It’s weak but still there, meaning she isn’t very close—she’s just close enough. She might not be in her full power at the moment and may use a minion like Ananda to come after you instead of her directly coming to you. She may have already seen you. I’m sure she can feel you as I feel her and knows you’re now in my power. I fear she may get to you while your guard is down, of course, and when you least suspect anything to happen to you. I want to prepare you, but I don’t know how much time we have hence why leaving is what I now suggest we do.”

I stuck my ring finger in my mouth then pulled out, pointing it up in the air as if to check the temperature of the room. Andrei closed his eyes and shook his head. Ursula looked confused as she turned her body to Andrei. “What does that mean? Why is she checking for the wind?”

Andrei cut his eyes at Ursula. “She’s being a brat, she’s not listening to me.”

“I’m not being a brat, I’m just not leaving with you guys. I heard what you had to say, and I still can’t leave until I have my shit in order first,” I wiped the wetness off of my finger onto my sweatpants. “You have to give me a chance to say goodbye to the people I care about. If I just up and disappeared, they’ll have a heart attack.”

Ursula’s ruby red lips laid side ways, half smirking, half wanting to laugh. “Surely they wouldn’t actually die from your absence. You’re incorrigible.”

I tilted my head. “Okay, time for y’all to get out. I’m tired. I’ll think about it and will let you know my decision tomorrow or whatever. I promise.”

Ursula threw up her hands and stood up from the sofa. “This is an outrage. You don’t take anything seriously. Come, Andrei, let’s leave your little pet to her thoughts.”

Andrei slowly rose from the sofa, his black slacks smoothing down his legs to touch the tops of his black leathered shoes. I scanned his body over, finally going up the length of him to catch his gaze. His dress shirt was neatly tucked into his slacks, black belt securing them. As usual the top two buttons were undone, his gorgeously tanned skin showed. I noticed the buttons of his cuff were undone as well. This was the first time I’d ever seen him look relaxed, slightly. His hair was still slicked back from his beautifully structured face so he wasn’t so outside of his normal look, but just enough to let me know he was kind of unhinged. Just a touch. He took the few steps to lean over me, his lips barely touching my cheek. “Please do not keep me waiting. If I do not hear from you then I’ll be the one who has a heart attack.” At last he laid a kiss on my cheek. I felt his the tips of his fingers under my chin as he slowly turned my head to face him. A lump developed in my throat, my heart nearly skipped a beat when I looked into his eyes. He laid a kiss on my lips, our eyes still locked, then he pulled away.

“Don’t leave me to worry.”

I cleared my throat and nodded. I was afraid my voice would probably squeak if I spoke. Once I felt confident that it was cleared, I tried. “I won’t. You don’t have to worry about me. Thank you for coming, Andrei.”

“Oh come along now, Andrei. Leave her be, you love sick puppy!” Ursula commanded. She knelt on the door, hand on the knob.

Andrei met her at the door, giving me one last parting look. If I didn’t know anything else in this world, I would say the look he gave me said he was in love, or faking it. Either way, it hit me in deep in my feels as I had the swelling need to rush to him and cover him with my body, kissing him all over his face. When they went out and closed the door, I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding. For all of my talk, I wasn’t angry with him or even exasperated. I felt a slight chill move up my spine with the knowledge that I was now a target with no understanding of how to defend myself. Shook was not the word for it. Pissing in my pants was more like it.

Save Yourself

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Here’s a little blurb I wrote as apart of a challenge, but I really enjoyed typing it up (“writing” it), and thought why not share it with my peoples? Please read it and leave any thoughts!

                As the cool heat of the liquid hit my lips, I replay events that continuously flash through my mind. My body barely ached, as a matter of fact, it never does. But I’m constantly putting it through the ringer day in and day out, giving myself this impression that I’m never truly present, a notion that leaves me feeling like I’m always on the run, always on the move. I get so mentally exhausted and run down by these thoughts. But I know it’s no use feeling this way, especially when I’m the only one in my city who can save it. Slamming a guy here, choking another guy there, throwing a car half a football field away from a small child. All of this to just hide away when it’s all over. I whine incessantly, but I know this is the way it has to be—the safest way for me to coexist with the people who don’t know me, because I’ve seen what happens to those who save others. The one time you let them down they never forget it, and they never forget you for it. It turns into a love-hate relationship, and not one that is back and forth, no. It’s one where half of them love you, and understand, but the other half? You can never make things right again. Never.

              I remember a conversation that I was having with…her name doesn’t matter, I just remember her, and I remember our conversation so vividly. “You can’t save everyone. Sometimes, you just have to save the one person that matters most: yourself. Please try to remember that the next time you start getting down on yourself, okay?” I remember nodding, but I couldn’t stop beating myself up about the incident that changed my life, and a family’s lives forever.

             I also remember the family and their rants, the disappointment, the yelling and screaming on top of the cries and rage. I remember the blood soaked pavement, the arm still outstretched as if reaching for a savior—the arm attached to the broken body. When the body hit the ground, it was like watching a mannequin break but the body still held together by…flesh.

“You could’ve caught her, you could’ve saved her!”

“You’re no hero!”

“Fuck you!!”

              “If you’re listening out there, where ever you are, you’re no hero,” said the most popular talk show host in the country on her primetime morning show the next day. Her face was a sneer, full-on anger searing through the tv screen. Her eyes were glazed with fresh tears, but her hatred seemed more realer than the tears. “You’re just some person with abilities, abilities you barely use. And for all these ‘powers’ you possess, you couldn’t be where you were counted the most to be. You. Are. No. Hero. I hope you heard me, and heard me clearly.”

               I couldn’t say she was wrong. I couldn’t say she was right. Her cameramen and producers, writers, and the rest of her staff damn sure weren’t going to tell her any different. Who was I to say differently? I listened. I watched her show that day, and I let her defiant words hit me where it meant to. It pierced more than any bullet, it cut through more than any knife to me hearing her say those things, seeing the look in her eyes. She wasn’t the main reason I decided they didn’t need me around as much anymore. I made the decision all on my own, all because of that crumpled mass of human that laid on that pavement.

                I still helped. Help. I still let the human in me continue doing the best that I can with what was given to me through some miracle, or phenomenon. I still enjoyed making sure some old lady wasn’t mugged by some punks, took them down and made sure she got her bag back. I still enjoyed making sure kids weren’t harmed by an accident, and I made sure to steal myself away as well, back into the shadows as soon as my good deed was accomplished. It was all I could do to ensure that I wasn’t on the news or the internet anymore. If the would-be victim wanted to talk, they could, but I didn’t want to stick around for that. I retreated back to my hideout, and I made sure no one knew where I lived. That as well was important to me. I, too, needed a safe haven, and my apartment was it; far away and on the outskirts of the city where no one who knew me personally would come looking is where I chose to be. It was safer for everyone that way.

            Most nights, I drank. I drink to forget, but always end up remembering, sulking. I become a lump of wallowing. I do this even when I’ve had a good night, even when someone is no longer being hurt. I make sure they’re safe, but inside I know I’m just going to die a little as soon as I get comfortable and alone.

            I drink to forget. But she always visits me. She smiles, and I stop crying for that brief moment. She comforts me with her words and that beaming in her eyes. “Hey big guy, what you crying for?”

“I miss you,” I whimper, tears spilling down my chin.

           She walks over to me, her smile warming me down to my toes. She touches my shoulder and leans down in front of me, her hand resting on my shoulder, and her other hand casually caressing my hand that held the bottle of Irish whiskey. “I’m always with you, you know that. I haven’t gone anywhere. Remember what I told you?”

I nod. “How can I forget?”

             She sighed, pressing her cheek onto mine, and she felt so much like home, so real. “Even the strong need a break, need a moment. And you feel. You have to remember that you’re human, too, just different. You can’t save everyone. Sometimes, you just have to save the one person that matters most: yourself. Please try to remember that when you’re sitting here, drinking this poison, okay?”

            What she said, what I remember her saying, breaks me down. The tears stream down my face, hiccups become uncontrollable. “B-but you m-m-mattered most to me! YOU! And I couldn’t…I-I couldn’t s-s-s-save you!!”

              The chair barely held me as I shook with pitiful sobs. She leaned back to look me in my face as her smile began to waver, then vanished as blood poured down her face. In complete horror, I pushed away from the vision, bottle falling from my hand as I stood up abruptly. “Amina, AMINA!! NO!” Then off in the distance, I could hear a menacing chorus of laughter. I balled up my fists, rage filling me up more and more with every second that passed. That laugh that kept feeding my hate, fueling my need to keep fighting on the good side as long as I could. That laugh that stole my Amina from me, and the laugh that I was going to find and choke the life out of.

Bon Voyage, 2017! We won’t miss you!

Free at last, free at last!

We made it through the year. Some of us faring better than others, but here we are nonetheless. I barely made it, and I sincerely mean that. The end of the final week of 2017 brought many, many sick people. Unfortunately, I became one of them, and rung in the New Year Eve with snores and horrid coughs. I didn’t even make it to midnight, that’s how sad it was. Even so, the morning brought me my sense of smell back so I was very happy about that.

I’ve had plenty of rest since being sick since this past Thursday, so I’m feeling a little better. I even woke up in a more positive mood (going from immobile and incapacitated to feeling normal will do that), and had this voice in my head saying, “No more struggling.” It wasn’t ominous. It was more like a promise, as if to say the worst is over and better is arriving. I took that thought and almost let it fade away. I knew I had to keep that going like a mantra though because I truly do need it. 2017 had been an incredibly harsh year for me. I was beginning to think I had done something so horribly wrong that I was just receiving from karma for whatever it was I had done. I knew I didn’t really do anything wrong, except for maybe make a snap decision or two, but other than that I really hadn’t done anything that warranted such a weird year for me. And yet, I can look back and say at least the latter half wasn’t all so bad.

Sure, I struggled, but I also published my first book. That’s one great thing I did! My personal life was pretty golden as well (wasn’t bad at all actually, and still isn’t), my son is still my little maniac whom I love dearly, and my niece is beautiful and healthy! I’m embarking on a new journey of doing what I love without being scared. I have goals I want to achieve, and I’ve learned I can do everything I set myself to doing. It’s me that has to move out of the way and let myself flourish. The ending of 2017 showed me that, and I can carry that all the way through into this new year. I do not have any resolutions, I never really do. I find when I do that, I usually lose the list somewhere, or I don’t take it serious anyway. So instead, I’m going to do what I gotta do without talking too much about it, and just do it. I tend to perform much better that way. I’m dedicated to myself being my best self, and I know it’s coming. For now, I’m going to wish everyone a Happy New Year, best of luck in everything you do, and don’t stop striving! P.S. While you’re here, check out what I HAVE been getting into the latter part of this year with the link here: https://geo.itunes.apple.com/us/book/...

and here: https://horror.media/i-have-an-insane...

 

 

 

 

 

 

First of Many!

Exciting news!!

The excerpts are no longer just excerpts and extensions of the story I’ve been working on for quite some time. It’s now a fully realized ebook!

That’s correct, it is now an ebook. It is published, and I couldn’t be happier. It’s one of my prouder moments in my life, as I didn’t think I’d ever see it through to completion, but here I am. Here we are. A completed piece of work.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to even publish it frankly. I thought I’d just keep it on my laptop, saved, never to be seen – I was wrong. I was braver than I gave myself credit for. I normally don’t share too much, but I felt like I needed to pull up my big girl underwear and make it do what it do! I am so happy that I made that decision on a late night and just pushed. I’m going to continue to see all of my endeavors through. From henceforth, I will no longer hold back out of fear of the unknown. I will push myself to the edge, and just dive.

‘Voices on the Air’ is available on Amazon Kindle, and it’s my baby! I just birthed a book baby! So please have at it, and express your thoughts on this so that I can continue to grow into the author I want to be.

‘Voices on the Air’ Amazon Kindle

When She’s Done, What’s Next?

Well, I’ve done it.

I have done it! I’ve managed to finish a story! In all of my years of being someone who loves to create little stories here and there, I’ve never finished them, ever! I’ve started them, and they’ve sounded amazing, but then they just sort of died. Sad little deaths. I’ve allowed the stories to disappear in my head; characters wiped clean from my mind, their world: gone. I would move on to something else because that’s how I used to work. Very fleeting, barely there. I would be quickly inspired by something else and that’s all it took for me.

I love to imagine characters and build a story about them as much as I can, immediately. I never ease into it, I used to always just dive right in. With this, however, I wanted to try and take my time. And so I did. Two years worth. On and off, like a relationship that was almost not going to make it but now here we are – married.

Melded perfectly and accepting one another in all of glory and dirt. Except, like me, she needs some work. She needs some internal work, so we’re going to fix her up. We’re going to make her better. She’s great right now, but it feels like she can definitely benefit from having some things added or cut. She’s in the process of seeing someone about that right now. I’m going to be there to hold her hand through it out and watch the beauty come shining through. And I’ve made this strange now…

Moving on! I said all of that to say that I managed to do something I didn’t think I knew I could do. But I made it happen and I’ve had some sleepy (yes, sleepy, because I definitely stayed up later than I should have, but I still got some sleep so no sleepless nights just yet caused by writing) nights. Yet it was all worth it though, because now I can breathe easy knowing I did it. I do feel an odd sense of accomplishment because of it. I feel like I can complete anything now, and that’s really good to hear because I’m still in the process of finishing up junior college to obtain my degree! But it makes me feel really good. I feel solid. I’ve made one of my characters come to an actual end of her story, but I intend on making it into a series so she’s not done yet, not for a while. I’m not done, but just the beginning of it is laid down. The foundation is there. I’m going to keep building on it. And I want to take you all along for the ride.

You strive, or you die…

Sounds ominous, but it’s really not.

What I mean by that is in today’s world, we’re all really just surviving. Day to day. Pay check to paycheck. Hand to mouth. It all feels like this cyclic struggle that seems to be encapsulating us and I, for one, really am bored of it. I’m literally sick and tired of being sick and tired, always thinking what can I do to better my situation? Besides get this degree I’ve been slaving over, on top of motherhood, and full-time work, what else can I do? What can EYE do?

You hear the words “multiple streams of income” and think, sounds awesome, I need to get in on that. What can I do to create an opportunity for myself to get in on this many streamed money team? Who do I have to sleep with to get a money tree around here?! The answer is quite simple: yourself.

The answer is also not so simple. This new age is a time for the ultimate hustlers. People with the gift to sell. They can sell you something you probably have bought many times from somewhere else, but because they have this incredible talent to talk your money out of your pockets, to make you feel like you NEED said product in your life, you will part with you greens. Happily, might I add. You will give it up. Easy. Later on you might regret it, but at the moment you can only think ‘Wow, what a bargain!’ and just coast on through life for the next week or so with no worries.

I say all this to say, in this time, we have to do so much more than survive. We have to strive. We have to get in the mindset that we are going to see a better tomorrow, even if we have to struggle today. The struggle is the part that is going to build the character you need. I’m learning this the hard way. The struggle for me is to keep doing things I don’t really enjoy, until I get to the position where I can step back and give myself wholly to what I DO love. I’m doing things the hard way. Never meant to, but I guess in the words of my son, “The world made me this way.”

And with such sweet and strong words, I bid you adieu and goodnight!

Sidenote: feel free to check out my written works on Vocal Media! Thanks in advance!

Vocal Media

 

Written works!!

Currently writing and creating on a new platform: Vocal. I will still be utilizing this as well as my Medium, but I wanted to highlight some other things I’ve worked on outside of WP. You can read “You Watch Me” and “The Search” on Vocal at the following links. “You Watch Me”

And here:“The Search”