Bruce Lansky
Goodreads Author
Genre
Member Since
March 2013
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The Girl Who Wanted To Be A Princess
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Happily Ever After (Girls to the Rescue, #1)
19 editions
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published
1995
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100,000 + Baby Names: The Most Complete Baby Name Book
18 editions
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published
2004
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Kids Pick The Funniest Poems: Poems That Make Kids Laugh
by
10 editions
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published
1991
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The Royal Joust
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Newfangled Fairy Tales, Book #1 (Newfangled Fairy Tales, #1)
7 editions
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published
1998
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Early Birdy Gets the Worm (Picture Reader): A Picture Reading Book for Young Children
by
9 editions
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published
2014
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A Bad Case Of The Giggles: Kids' Favorite Funny Poems
by
14 editions
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published
1994
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If I Ran the School
by
4 editions
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published
2005
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No More Homework! No More Tests!: Kids' Favorite Funny School Poems
by
12 editions
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published
1997
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“My Teacher Sees Right Through Me
I didn’t do my homework.
My teacher asked me, “Why?”
I answered him, “It’s much too hard.”
He said, “You didn’t try.”
I told him, “My dog ate it.”
He said, “You have no dog.”
I said, “I went out running.”
He said, “You never jog.”
I told him, “I had chores to do.”
He said, “You watched TV.”
I said, “I saw the doctor.”
He said, “You were with me.”
My teacher sees right through my fibs,
which makes me very sad.
It’s hard to fool the teacher
when the teacher is your dad.”
―
I didn’t do my homework.
My teacher asked me, “Why?”
I answered him, “It’s much too hard.”
He said, “You didn’t try.”
I told him, “My dog ate it.”
He said, “You have no dog.”
I said, “I went out running.”
He said, “You never jog.”
I told him, “I had chores to do.”
He said, “You watched TV.”
I said, “I saw the doctor.”
He said, “You were with me.”
My teacher sees right through my fibs,
which makes me very sad.
It’s hard to fool the teacher
when the teacher is your dad.”
―
“Do not oversleep and miss the school bus-
you'll be late.
That's a habit teachers generally
don't appreciate.
Never tell your friends at school
that you still wet your bed.
They are sure to tease you,
and you'll wish that you were dead.
Never call your teacher a name
when she's not near you.
Teachers' ears are excellent,
so they can always hear you.
Do not read a textbook when your hands
aren't clean-it's tricky
to separate the pages when the pages
get real sticky.
When you go out for a team
it's always wise to practice.
When you are a substitute,
the bench can feel like cactus.
Do not copy homework from a friend
who is a dummy.
If you do, I'm sure that you
will get a grade that's crummy.
And if your report card's bad,
don't blame it on your buddy.
Kiss up to your parents quick,
or they might make you study.”
―
you'll be late.
That's a habit teachers generally
don't appreciate.
Never tell your friends at school
that you still wet your bed.
They are sure to tease you,
and you'll wish that you were dead.
Never call your teacher a name
when she's not near you.
Teachers' ears are excellent,
so they can always hear you.
Do not read a textbook when your hands
aren't clean-it's tricky
to separate the pages when the pages
get real sticky.
When you go out for a team
it's always wise to practice.
When you are a substitute,
the bench can feel like cactus.
Do not copy homework from a friend
who is a dummy.
If you do, I'm sure that you
will get a grade that's crummy.
And if your report card's bad,
don't blame it on your buddy.
Kiss up to your parents quick,
or they might make you study.”
―
“What I Found in My Desk
A ripe peach with an ugly bruise,
a pair of stinky tennis shoes,
a day-old ham-and-cheese on rye,
a swimsuit that I left to dry,
a pencil that glows in the dark,
some bubble gum found in the park,
a paper bag with cookie crumbs,
an old kazoo that barely hums,
a spelling test I almost failed,
a letter that I should have mailed,
and one more thing, I must confess,
a note from teacher: Clean This Mess!!!!”
―
A ripe peach with an ugly bruise,
a pair of stinky tennis shoes,
a day-old ham-and-cheese on rye,
a swimsuit that I left to dry,
a pencil that glows in the dark,
some bubble gum found in the park,
a paper bag with cookie crumbs,
an old kazoo that barely hums,
a spelling test I almost failed,
a letter that I should have mailed,
and one more thing, I must confess,
a note from teacher: Clean This Mess!!!!”
―
Topics Mentioning This Author
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