Scott Perry's Blog, page 17
August 16, 2022
Shaken Not Stirred
When I hit bottom in my "all is lost moment" in midlife, the famous line from the Bond film Goldfinger neatly summed up my experience.
"Shaken, not stirred."
This, of course, was Bond's preferred martini preparation. But I wasn't asked how I wanted my midlife crisis cocktail prepared and presented.
And my experience is not unique.
We get "shaken" in midlife because our role in making a living and raising a family is winding down. Our identity is in transition, and we're not sure who we're meant to be next.
And we're "not stirred" because traditional schooling and occupation encouraged seeking external rewards and validation. Our life's next act requires paying attention to an internal calling we have little practice hearing or heeding.
For me, the antidote for the "shaken, not stirred" midlife crisis cocktail came in three doses.
First, I sat with the tension of the anxiety, and uncertainty of my situation until I could also see the silver linings and possibilities.
The flip side of every obstacle is opportunity.
Even if the "opportunity" is to cultivate acceptance, patience, humility, and resilience.
Second, I had to slough off the certainty and overconfidence with which I had navigated life up to this point.
Embracing curiosity and consideration helped me explore the edges of my understanding and abilities, develop my potential, and step into possibility.
Third and finally, guides and fellow travelers appeared, which lightened the load.
Being lost is less of a burden when we no longer feel lonely.
"Shaken, not stirred" slowly gave way to "stirred, not shaken."
It took time, but eventually, a new way of being and becoming emerged.
What about you? Have you experienced moments of dislocation or disturbance in midlife or any other time? How do you navigate these times of transition?
Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach at The Art of Encore Living
If this resonates, please share it with a friend!
August 14, 2022
Sarah Scala - "We always fail if we never try."
Today I'm sharing some insight for finding fulfillment, forging meaning, and making an impact from an inspiring difference-maker living her legacy. Sarah Scala is an LGBTQIA+ Leadership Coach. Catch our entire conversation here.
[SARAH] "I would say we always fail if we never try."
"If we never try, there isn't even that possibility. So, give it a try."
"Take small micro-steps. Try something."
"Get feedback."
"Have mentors or trusted friends that can give you some insights and nothing is impossible."
Sarah made a strong case for taking small steps into possibility. Fortune favors the bold. What micro-step into your potential are you taking today?
Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach
(BTW, you can tune in to this entire conversation and EVERY other episode of The Art of Encore Living here.)
If this resonates, please share it with a friend!
"What am I supposed to do with my life?"
I was introduced to the Bhagavad Gita in the 7th grade by my English teacher.
Both the book and teacher remain important to my life to this day and my adventures in midlife.
Although the Gita is one of the world's oldest spiritual and philosophical texts (written well over 2000 years ago) it remains one of the most relevant regarding humanity's central questions.
"What am I supposed to do with my life?"
Through a beautiful tale about the great warrior Arjuna and his friend and advisor Krishna (a divine in disguise) the Gita reveals that the answer lies within every individual's dharma.
What is dharma?
Like most words whose etymology begins with Sanskrit roots, dharma defies a singular or absolute definition.
It translates variously as path, teaching, or law.
Expanded definitions include sacred duty and vocation
I like to think of dharma as your soul's true calling or the difference only you can make.
But how do you, or I, or anyone else find and live into the purpose you're meant to live now (in midlife or any other time of life?
The Gita shares a process based on embracing four ideas.
"Look to your dharma." You must accept that you have a unique gift, a difference only you can make, and dial it in.
"You should not vacillate." You must embrace, engage, and enact your life's true calling fully.
"Let go of the fruits." Grasping at results or rewards only brings suffering. Do the work you are meant to do now with passion and detachment. Aspire without attachment and equanimity is achieved.
"Thou art that." You are a spiritual creature having a human experience. Surrender to the divine,—the divine within you, the divine in all beings, and the divine that permeates the entire cosmos.
Obviously there is much more to be unpacked in each of these steps. But what happens if you begin to contemplate your sacred calling and live into your soul's purpose today?
If you want to go further with the Bhagavad Gita, I recommend the Stephen Mitchell translation and Stephen Cope's wonderful guide to the Bhagavad Gita, The Great Work of Your Life.
Would you like to explore the approach to vocation in the Bhagavad Gita with me? Send me an email and let me know. If I get 20 responses, I'll create a 30-minute workshop and invite you to attend!
Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach at The Art of Encore Living
If this resonates, please share it with a friend!
August 9, 2022
How to Make Your Midlife Your BEST Life
I was introduced to the Bhagavad Gita in the 7th grade by my English teacher.
Both the book and teacher remain important to my life to this day and my adventures in midlife.
Although the Gita is one of the world's oldest spiritual and philosophical texts (written well over 2000 years ago) it remains one of the most relevant regarding humanity's central questions.
"What am I supposed to do with my life?"
Through a beautiful tale about the great warrior Arjuna and his friend and advisor Krishna (a divine in disguise) the Gita reveals that the answer lies within every individual's dharma.
What is dharma?
Like most words whose etymology begins with Sanskrit roots, dharma defies a singular or absolute definition.
It translates variously as path, teaching, or law.
Expanded definitions include sacred duty and vocation
I like to think of dharma as your soul's true calling or the difference only you can make.
But how do you, or I, or anyone else find and live into the purpose you're meant to live now (in midlife or any other time of life?
The Gita shares a process based on embracing four ideas.
"Look to your dharma." You must accept that you have a unique gift, a difference only you can make, and dial it in.
"You should not vacillate." You must embrace, engage, and enact your life's true calling fully.
"Let go of the fruits." Grasping at results or rewards only brings suffering. Do the work you are meant to do now with passion and detachment. Aspire without attachment and equanimity is achieved.
"Thou art that." You are a spiritual creature having a human experience. Surrender to the divine,—the divine within you, the divine in all beings, and the divine that permeates the entire cosmos.
Obviously there is much more to be unpacked in each of these steps. But what happens if you begin to contemplate your sacred calling and live into your soul's purpose today?
If you want to go further with the Bhagavad Gita, I recommend the Stephen Mitchell translation and Stephen Cope's wonderful guide to the Bhagavad Gita, The Great Work of Your Life.
Would you like to explore the approach to vocation in the Bhagavad Gita with me? Send me an email and let me know. If I get 20 responses, I'll create a 30-minute workshop and invite you to attend!
Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach at The Art of Encore Living
If this resonates, please share it with a friend!
August 7, 2022
Turning Breakdowns Into Breakthroughs
Life's challenges can precipitate a breakdown.
But life's difficulties (and disasters) can also catalyze a breakthrough.
My breakdown moment came just as I was entering midlife.
I thought I had myself and my life all figured out, and it was running more or less on autopilot.
And then it all came apart, went sideways, and crashed.
I was completely broken (and stayed that way for over a year).
But thanks to family, friends, a good therapist, excellent coaching, and lots of inner work, I became utterly broken open.
And wondrous things began to unfold.
A hidden wholeness I'd forgotten I possessed began to emerge.
I became less anxious and angry about my situation and better able to acknowledge what was happening and take intentional action to influence better results.
I became clearer about who I am (and who I had been) and who I wished to become.
I began to set clear boundaries about what I did and did not do and who I did and did not let in.
I defined the essentials in my life and focused on mastering them effortlessly.
Life became more uncomplicated, and I navigated it with more ease, equanimity, and joy.
Is my life still fraught?
Of course. Any life worth living is.
But I now see life's difficulties and disasters as discoveries and lessons.
There are no roadmaps for navigating midlife crises (or crises at any other age).
But you already possess a compass, and there are guides and fellow travelers all around you.
Find your inner compass and seek your guides and fellow travelers.
Advice worth heeding even before difficulties and disasters arise.
If you could use help finding your inner compass, a trusted guide, or fellow travelers, The Art of Encore Living offers courses, coaching, and a community that can help. Send me an email to learn more.
Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach at The Art of Encore Living
If this resonates, please share it with a friend!
August 2, 2022
Alisa Conner - "It's never too late."
Today I'm sharing some insight for finding fulfillment, forging meaning, and making an impact from an inspiring difference-maker living her legacy. Alisa Conner is an email marketing strategist. Catch our entire conversation here.
[SCOTT] "What last encouragement would you give someone, or what piece of advice would you give someone that's ready to level up in the difference only they can make?"
[ALISA] "So, there's two, and they'll be short."
"The first is that it's never too late."
"It's never too late until the gig is up and you're taking a dirt nap. That's really what it amounts to."
"You have every opportunity, every single minute of the day, to make a different choice and make an impact."
"And the second is that I don't believe in failure."
"Everything that you do, every step that you take, even the mistakes that you make, even if they're gargantuan mistakes, are giving you the opportunity to learn."
"And so when you look at something, and you're like, 'Oh, it didn't turn out the way I wanted,' if you shift that perspective and instead say, 'What can I learn from this?' Your growth will be exponential because everybody else will be wallowing in the 'Oh poor me, why did it turn out that way? Boohoo!'"
"The people that can look at that from a different perspective of 'There's a lesson here. There's something I'm supposed to learn, and that lesson is going to take me forward.'"
"And so instead of focusing on failure, focus on the lessons and then see how your life changes and see where you end up going next."
Alisa made a strong case for making the most of every moment and reframing failure. How might you do what brings you joy today?
Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach
(BTW, you can tune in to this entire conversation and EVERY other episode of The Art of Encore Living here.)
If this resonates, please share it with a friend!
July 31, 2022
Want to NEVER fail again?
What keeps you from succeeding?
Failure may be the obvious answer.
But I think it's actually a level deeper. I think it's fear of failure.
And what is fear of failure?
A story you tell yourself about your self.
In Onward: Where Certainty Ends, Possibility Begins, I shared a riff (or was it a rant?) called "Choose your story, choose your future."
Maybe it was actually a "riffrant?"
(Those of you who know me from my long tenure as a head coach in Seth Godin's Akimbo Workshops may remember my coining that term.)
Anyway...
The point is that the stories we tell ourselves become self-fulfilling prophecies.
The stories you tell yourself frame your possibilities or, more to the point, the lack thereof.
Given your choice, why wouldn't you choose stories that encourage you to pursue your potential with greater joy and equanimity?
Let's reframe.
What is failure really?
It simply means that you didn't achieve the outcome you set out for.
"Things didn't work out the way I expected..."
Ooooh, so scary. TERRIFYING. Better give up. Actually, better not try!
Do these conversations you have inside your head make any real sense to you?
When you were an infant, did fear of failure keep you from speaking?
When you were a toddler, did the fact that "This might not work?" paralyze you with despair and keep you crawling around on your hands and knees.
Of course not.
Your initial attempts at doing anything worthy of your time, attention, and effort never worked out. Did you fail?
No.
You discovered something valuable with every attempt that didn't entirely succeed.
And you processed what you discovered and iterated your next attempt.
You learned and you grew from every "failure."
And over time you learned to talk and walk.
Sure, at first, the articulations and mobility were executed haltingly and shakily.
But over time, you went from talking and walking poorly to doing it all day without thinking about it (AKA "mastery" or "excellence.")
Choose your story, choose your future .
Most failures are not lethal or final.
They're lessons learned through experimentation that can be applied to the next iteration of your pursuit.
Failures are discoveries.
What if, just for today, you eliminated "failure" from your vocabulary and replaced it with "discovery?"
How might that change your story?
How might that change your Self?
How might that change everything?
Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach at The Art of Encore Living
If this resonates, please share it with a friend!
July 26, 2022
What is the meaning of life?
"What is the meaning of life?"
It's one of the most asked questions across all of human history.
But perhaps a more helpful question is, "What gives life meaning?"
I think we have to begin with the fact that life ends.
ANY meaning our life has comes from what we do with it during our journey from womb to tomb.
And what we all do in that journey is work. We spend our precious and finite allotment of time, attention, and energy doing things.
What are you doing? What are you working on?
In midlife, some find that the roadmap to meaning offered through institutionalized education and occupation doesn't provide the sense of fulfillment we crave.
Many of us feel we were born to do more and better than chase salary, status, and stuff (and measure "success" against how everyone else is doing).
And I believe that instinct is absolutely correct and worth spending time on, paying attention to, and exerting some effort to figure out.
At some point, some of us start to think about our legacy.
But here's the thing.
Legacy isn't just something you leave behind.
Legacy is something you can live every day.
You don't want to die with the difference only you can make still inside.
Do you?
How are you living your legacy today?
(Ready to reconnect with your soul's true calling and make your midlife your best life? I'd love to share resources to help. Send ENCORE by email to scott@creativeonpurpose.com to start the conversation.)
Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach at The Art of Encore Living
If this resonates, please share it with a friend!
July 24, 2022
Is what you're working on working for you?
How do think about the work you do?
Are you working at something?
Is it something worthy of your valuable (and finite) time, attention, and effort?
Are you doing that work in collaboration or community?
If not, why not?
Or maybe you're working for something?
If so, is it a paycheck or a cause?
Perhaps you're working on something?
Is it a project, a problem, or a passion?
And most work is done with something.
Are you working with your hands, your mind, your heart, and your soul?
If you're like me, you probably don't think much about all the ways you work.
But here's the thing, work matters. It matters a lot.
What we work at, in, on, with, and for says a lot about who we are.
All living things work. But humans are unique in that, if we do it with integrity and intention, our work informs our identity and infuses our life with meaning.
So, what are you working on? How are you working in and at it? Who are you working with and for?
How's it all working out?
Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach at The Art of Encore Living
If this resonates, please share it with a friend!
July 17, 2022
Your REAL Legacy
Answer these 3 questions to define your soul's purpose, cultivate greater fulfillment, and even fund the encore life of your dreams.
Who are you REALLY? Never mind the resume values you collected; what are the eulogy values you want to be remembered for?
What are you REALLY good at? If the skills you were forced to learn at school and on the job don't light you up, it's time to reconnect with your inherent talents.
Where do you REALLY belong? Bloodline and geography don't absolutely define your scene. Everyone's life is enhanced when you spend more time with people who share your values and need your talents.
Your life's 1st and 2nd acts were journeys of achievement and success as defined by others.
Your 3rd act is a journey of discovery and joy experienced from the inside out.
Don't die with the difference only you can make still inside.
More perspective can be found in this article published in The Christian Science Monitor.
How can you start living more joyfully into your legacy today?
Send an email if you'd like my favorite surveys for dialing in your values and talents. I'm happy to share!
Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach at The Art of Encore Living
If this resonates, please share it with a friend!
