Ruby Fitzgerald's Blog - Posts Tagged "writer"
Handling Pressure
There’s always a deadline to meet, bills to pay, people to talk to, errands to run, things that need fixing, schedules colliding, phones ringing, emails buzzing, it's enough to drive you crazy. On top of that there's always opinions to balance and emotions to process. Always. Every day. That’s true as a person, but also as a writer. Writer’s block is totally and completely a real thing. But it’s just a side effect of feeling pressured. My brain isn’t broken, and 'I'm never going to write again’, isn't ever true.
Just like having a bad day… it’s just one day. You’ll get up again in the morning and start fresh. It's not about the morning being fresh, or the day holding the promise of hope - it's about you, and your perspective. The choice is finding the hope of a new day, it's not easy, but after awhile, and a lot of discipline, it starts to work. Right? I know reading this you understand what I'm saying, it works for almost any habit.
I have stressed myself out over and over again because I take on too much, forget to take care of my inner self, and try to do too many things at the same time. Because of this, I’ve slowly realized that there’s never enough time, energy, or attention to make life—or a story—perfect. At least not all at once. Enjoy life instead of treating it like a duty. I know negativity hovers around us, bad things happen, stress and strain is unavoidable. I also get that it’s often hard not to linger in the past, but it’s always served me best to take the lessons I’ve learned and mistakes I’ve made, and file them away. It’s so much better for the mind and heart to instead focus on the present and the future full-heartedly. Life is exhausting. We all know that.
The key is the freedom to feel. Let yourself momentarily freak out, worry, get overwhelmed, then take a deep breath and keep going. The farther you go, the more you learn, and it's the learning that leads to understanding, and that leads to hope.
Just like having a bad day… it’s just one day. You’ll get up again in the morning and start fresh. It's not about the morning being fresh, or the day holding the promise of hope - it's about you, and your perspective. The choice is finding the hope of a new day, it's not easy, but after awhile, and a lot of discipline, it starts to work. Right? I know reading this you understand what I'm saying, it works for almost any habit.
I have stressed myself out over and over again because I take on too much, forget to take care of my inner self, and try to do too many things at the same time. Because of this, I’ve slowly realized that there’s never enough time, energy, or attention to make life—or a story—perfect. At least not all at once. Enjoy life instead of treating it like a duty. I know negativity hovers around us, bad things happen, stress and strain is unavoidable. I also get that it’s often hard not to linger in the past, but it’s always served me best to take the lessons I’ve learned and mistakes I’ve made, and file them away. It’s so much better for the mind and heart to instead focus on the present and the future full-heartedly. Life is exhausting. We all know that.
The key is the freedom to feel. Let yourself momentarily freak out, worry, get overwhelmed, then take a deep breath and keep going. The farther you go, the more you learn, and it's the learning that leads to understanding, and that leads to hope.
Daydreaming Characters
Each character in the DoW series is a developed aspect of my own characteristics and struggles. Gwendolyn is my endurance, Silvia both my strength and my fears, Bridget my frustration, Jestin both my good-naturedness and my sorrow, Eleanor my internal struggle, Malcolm my heart, Zagan my temper... etc. When I write each character I imagine the aspect of myself that they portray and elaborate on it. I let the characters' actions be based on what would happen if I was fueled by a singular aspect of my personality rather than them all. If I let my anger and temper rule me- that would be the ruthlessness of Zagan. If I let my selfless kindness rule me- that would be the dedication of Gwendolyn...And so on and so forth.
I often lose track of time as I write, because I dont want to break my thought flow. The lives my characters live need to feel real- real life doesn't stop- so I don't want my stopping and restarting while writing to get into the story and diminish the authenticity of my characters. But! Because I strive so hard for authenticity, my characters end up with direction and opinion and plot different that what I intend. I always have a pretty good overall of how I want my books to unfold but, I swear, it's like the characters band together to change things as I write, and make the story totally different (and way better) than my original intentions.
On top of authenticity, I always want vivid imagery and relatable challenges in my stories because that gives readers a grand stage on which to imagine what I've written. I want readers to continue the story themselves, wonder about the details of the personalities and lives of characters that I don't get the chance to cover. I want them to think they'd befriend a character if they were real. That's why I never cease to visualize and daydream about the lands and the characters I've created (even if all my thoughts don't make it into the books) because I want to understand the story from a reader's perspective and write to help them enjoy the story even more.
I often lose track of time as I write, because I dont want to break my thought flow. The lives my characters live need to feel real- real life doesn't stop- so I don't want my stopping and restarting while writing to get into the story and diminish the authenticity of my characters. But! Because I strive so hard for authenticity, my characters end up with direction and opinion and plot different that what I intend. I always have a pretty good overall of how I want my books to unfold but, I swear, it's like the characters band together to change things as I write, and make the story totally different (and way better) than my original intentions.
On top of authenticity, I always want vivid imagery and relatable challenges in my stories because that gives readers a grand stage on which to imagine what I've written. I want readers to continue the story themselves, wonder about the details of the personalities and lives of characters that I don't get the chance to cover. I want them to think they'd befriend a character if they were real. That's why I never cease to visualize and daydream about the lands and the characters I've created (even if all my thoughts don't make it into the books) because I want to understand the story from a reader's perspective and write to help them enjoy the story even more.
Perfect isn't Perfect
Perfection is an infuriating concept to me. 'Perfect' is based on preference and opinion. When we 'strive for perfection', whose perfection are we aiming for?
My idea of self perfection is mental and emotional stability, physical health and strength, a home to return to after a day spent working on something I truly care about, and some friends and family to talk to and enjoy time with. But perhaps your perfect is more specific? More focused on gain? Less interested in home and more on travel? Who knows. There are a thousand variants of what perfect looks like! The reason I bring this up is that my fear - a lot having to do with the power of social media - is that people have begun to ignore their own sense of good and right in exchange for what the world tells us is perfect.
So I ask of you, when you're flipping through the pages of a magazine or scrolling through your IG feed on your phone, be aware of what's influencing you, and why. Are you being encouraged to be the best version of yourself or are you simply being influenced to buy more, diet more, and fear more, all in the pursuit of airbrushed, money-hungry, impossible so-called perfection?
You are so strong. You're living in a world over-saturated with people, opinions, influences (both bad and good), options, offers, and standards and yet there you are... your own self, in a sea of others. You like the color turquoise, but not turquoise jewelry, you've re-read Harry Potter eight times, you put brown sugar in your tea, and you're scared of moths. You say y'all but you're not from the south, you put ranch on your pizza, you never wear matching socks and your ponytail always leans to the left. You are you, apologetically so. And that, to me is perfect. Are you content with your life? Are you health? Can you make a friend smile when they're having a bad day? Yes? Then you have no need for the stress, the pressure, the anxiety that I know comes from wanting to do and be everything perfect.
Perfect isn't possible. Not the perfect that advertisements and get-rich-quick scams talk about. That perfect will drive you mad with insecurity, anger, and worry. That perfect will tear the beauty - your unique beauty - right out of your being. I say to you, let us see the struggle and the sad, because it will make us value the happy and the strong. Be true to who you are and who you want to be, keep fighting for health and happiness, keep loving those around you, keep loving yourself. That, in my eyes, is as perfect as perfect can be.
My idea of self perfection is mental and emotional stability, physical health and strength, a home to return to after a day spent working on something I truly care about, and some friends and family to talk to and enjoy time with. But perhaps your perfect is more specific? More focused on gain? Less interested in home and more on travel? Who knows. There are a thousand variants of what perfect looks like! The reason I bring this up is that my fear - a lot having to do with the power of social media - is that people have begun to ignore their own sense of good and right in exchange for what the world tells us is perfect.
So I ask of you, when you're flipping through the pages of a magazine or scrolling through your IG feed on your phone, be aware of what's influencing you, and why. Are you being encouraged to be the best version of yourself or are you simply being influenced to buy more, diet more, and fear more, all in the pursuit of airbrushed, money-hungry, impossible so-called perfection?
You are so strong. You're living in a world over-saturated with people, opinions, influences (both bad and good), options, offers, and standards and yet there you are... your own self, in a sea of others. You like the color turquoise, but not turquoise jewelry, you've re-read Harry Potter eight times, you put brown sugar in your tea, and you're scared of moths. You say y'all but you're not from the south, you put ranch on your pizza, you never wear matching socks and your ponytail always leans to the left. You are you, apologetically so. And that, to me is perfect. Are you content with your life? Are you health? Can you make a friend smile when they're having a bad day? Yes? Then you have no need for the stress, the pressure, the anxiety that I know comes from wanting to do and be everything perfect.
Perfect isn't possible. Not the perfect that advertisements and get-rich-quick scams talk about. That perfect will drive you mad with insecurity, anger, and worry. That perfect will tear the beauty - your unique beauty - right out of your being. I say to you, let us see the struggle and the sad, because it will make us value the happy and the strong. Be true to who you are and who you want to be, keep fighting for health and happiness, keep loving those around you, keep loving yourself. That, in my eyes, is as perfect as perfect can be.
