Amy Makechnie's Blog, page 21

My Boy Made His Bed

Encouragement for the week:

We put our 18-year-old son on a bus yesterday, headed to New York City. Without us. He’s going to intern at Crush Records this fall, record label to the amazing Matt Nathanson, Alanis Morrisette, Lorde…yeah, whatever, it’s cool. TOTALLY COOL!!!!

The house is quieter, leaving us all slightly unsettled. The house whispers, there were four and now there are two. I went down to his room today, just to see if he was actually here and I hadn’t dreamed the whole good-bye.

He was gone.

His room was quite messy, liked he had attempted to clean, but was caught up in the last-minute process of packing and remembering and rummaging for this and that.

But what I really noticed was his bed. He rarely makes the bed (I cannot bear to write when he lived here). Really, who has time for that as a teenager? You’re barely able to roll out and get your life together for that thing: SCHOOL.

Still, I thought bed-making an important motherhood mantra: “If you make your bed, you’re starting your day off right. It sets you up for happiness in life! Gretchen Rubin says so.” Okay, Mom, whatever.

So this morning, when I saw his bed was made, the comforter pulled up tight, the pillows on the bed, I paused. He made his bed. And I knew then, that he was ready to go.

This is all to say, keep trying. Keep teaching. Because someday, you will have the great fortune of seeing the bed made and you will know: they are ready.

p.s. (In his closet were the SHEETS to the bed and the pillowcases, but the COMFORTER was pulled up nice and tight and looked MADE. Baby steps, friends!)

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Good Books I Read This Summer

IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF TRUE by Susan Caplan Carlton, YA. It’s the summer or 1958 when Ruth Robb and her family move from New York City to Atlanta—”the land of debutantes, sweet tea, and the Ku Klux Klan.” Intrigued? Great addition to YA, southern fiction, and civil rights. Realistic depiction of the emotional complexity of not only being a teenage girl, but also Jewish. I really enjoyed this (and met the wonderful Susan for a book event in Concord, NH!)I MISS YOU WHEN I BLINK by Mary Laura Philpott, Essays. If you’re compared to the reincarnated Nora Ephron, I’ll pick you up! Essays are wonderful and life-affirming and sometimes feel like Mary Laura is in your head watching and able to articulate what you cannot (she also works in Nashville with Ann Patchett, so…jealous?) Well done!THE SILENT PATIENT by Alex Michaelides, Thriller. Sometimes you just want an exciting, heart pumping page-turner with a twist at the end that you didn’t see coming – here you go!







THE ISLAND OF SEA WOMEN by Lisa See, Historical Fiction. Everything you could want from a historical fiction novel. It took me the entire month of July to read this because 1) so busy 2) I couldn’t skim. I had to read and soak in every detail of this masterpiece. The life of a female Jeju sea diver is so perilous it’s almost unbelievable! I’m in awe of these women and mothers. See is a terrific storyteller and wordsmith; I’m so excited to finally have read her. Itching to get to her other books.







MRS. EVERYTHING by Jennifer Weiner, Fiction. Big buzz around this book. My first time reading Weiner. She’s a very good writer and knows how to tell a complex and emotional narrative from a woman’s point of view. I liked the storytelling, but I never got to the point where I felt good. I wanted more redemption, more something… thoughts and opinions?THE NEED by Helen Phillips, Fiction/Thriller. Woah. This one might “blissfully wreck” your brain, as my writer friend, Melissa said. Haunting and transcendent, Phillips nails the animalistic protectiveness of motherhood when danger shows up in your living room…WOLFPACK by Abby Wambach, Inspiration. Soccer icon and world leader Abby Wambach puts her Barnard Commencement speech in book form. You can read in one sitting – and think about long after. A favorite call to action? Lead From the Bench, where Wambach tells of having to sit instead of start. Wambach delivers on equality, equity, and the need for women to use their voices for good. Great gift, esp for young women.







LOVE LIKE SKY by Leslie C. Youngblood, Middle Grade. I met Leslie in July at the ALA Writer’s Conference when we were on a MG writer’s panel together. I’m a fan of the woman, the writer, and this book! Leslie’s voice is so pitch perfect. G-baby and Peaches will find a place in your heart from the first page. It’s sweet and endearing and laugh-out-loud funny. Some favorites:

“…Have you seen the sky run out? No matter how far we go?…that’s the kind of love Daddy and Mama have for us, Peaches – love like sky.”

“I picked out everything in my favorite color – lilac, which is like purple with milk in it.”

And now summer reading days are coming to a close. I mourn a bit for them, but we always have more books, don’t we? Now tell me – what did you read and what do you recommend???

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My Favorite Daily Smoothie

I’m a little lost, bereft, adrift without my morning smoothie. It sets me up to run, think, write, stay full, and feel all-around GOOD. There are tons of recipes and it’s definitely good to mix it up, but I supposed I’m getting stuck in my ways.

If I have the ingredients, I have the same smoothie almost every day:

Water base

1 Avocado

Women’s Soccer and Happy Birthday, COPE!

I posted my enthusiasm for the Women’s World Cup team win yesterday (great game, Netherlands!), but Instagram took it down citing “copyright infringement” (I recorded a snippet from television.) They also banned me until 7/11. Boo.

So I’ll celebrate here, along with wishing my girl Cope a happy birthday -because her birth is inextricably tied to the 1999 watershed women’s world cup win.

This is what I wrote yesterday after our iconic women’s USA soccer team raised the trophy:

“I may have cried. The No-Quit Team. There are no glass ceilings, girls!!!

What I Read Last Month: Book Recommendations!

There are three things that help me read more: Goodreads accountability (I get endless satisfaction from checking boxes!), I read before sleeping, and I try to always have a book in my purse. It is more tempting to reach for my phone, but I try to pull out the book when I’m waiting for someone…and I’m always waiting for someone.

So even though May was crazy busy, I did manage to read:

I HAVE LOST MY WAY by Gayle Forman. A YA read that was compulsively readable. I get why Forman is a bestseller – she’s good. Three kids, all lost in their own way, who find hope because they find each other one day in New York City. Really interesting and believable characters. What I didn’t like? How the word “sex” was interchanged with the “F” word. True to a character relationship? Perhaps.

BOSS LIFE: SURVIVING MY OWN SMALL BUSINESS by Paul Downs. I find business books interesting, and this one began with a few New York Times articles Downs wrote. Downs is a high-end furniture craftsman who’s just trying to stay afloat year after year in a world who buys cheap furniture. It reminded me a little bit of my dad and how hard the small business daily grind is.

INHERITANCE: A MEMOIR OF GENEALOGY, PATERNITY, and LOVE by Dani Shapiro. This book is getting tons of press as it hits at just the right time: DNA testing. How would you feel if your DNA test came back (that you took on a whim) and revealed your father wasn’t your father? Shapiro is a seasoned memoirist (I previously enjoyed HOURGLASS). I was really looking forward to this read and it didn’t disappoint. It’s a page turner with great writing and emotional pull!

JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH by Roald Dahl. I read this as a kid, but Paige hadn’t. I read the second paragraph out loud and gasped – WHAT?! (the parents are eaten by an enormous angry rhinoceros at the London zoo!) Paige’s eyes grew wide as she said, what is this book?! It was so delightful! I loved it. If you haven’t read this gem or it’s been awhile, do it

What Goes On

I was going to title this post, “Ordinary Days” except nothing feels ordinary at all. The big and the small are happening and I’m just trying to hang on.

May was tremendous! Brynne and Nelson were in the musical, Once on This Island. We didn’t even know Brynne could sing. She played Andrea and Nelson was Daniel.

If you know this musical, then you know that Andrea and Daniel are betrothed. This, of course, caused much glee among their friends :). I’m sure biased, but they sure were AMAZING!

Nelson, rising from the dead

In the mean time, high school was finishing up, finals came and went, and my Anatomy & Physiology class dissected a sheep kidney. Isn’t this amazing?

Triple injected. Red arteries, blue veins, yellow urinary system

The garden has been busy, too, bursting with flowers and gorgeous greenery. Wow.

Someone is learning to drive. I won’t tell you who as they obviously don’t want their picture taken! But let’s just say I should be used to this. I’m not (think heart palpitations!)

I made a book video for Oklahoma. Thank goodness for my friend, Ethney, who makes it all happen. She played videographer as we visited with my Hereford neighbors.

My boy, my only son, my dearest little buddy…graduated from high school! I’m so so proud of him. He had a huge year. Sports, singing, awards, student leadership, seminary; all great.

Grandparents.

Nelson graduated with his cousin, Hailey. LOVE.

Kisses.

This same crazy week we decided to tear out all of the upstairs carpet and install bamboo flooring. Good thing my dad was in town!

It’s a JOB! Bamboo not in yet. This week, fingers crossed.

Me and my new pal, YA author, Susan Carlton had a book event at Gibson’s Bookstore in Concord, NH. It’s a FABULOUS bookstore! And Susan’s new book is terrific. Really good.

Even with life so busy and nutty, I go out and run. It’s my sanity. Endorphins, dopamine, serotonin. This scene stills my brain and fills my heart:

Life is good. And guess what? It’s summer time!

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Inspiration for the Week: i love the mothers

Many years ago, when I was the younger mother of two small children, I was so tired. The consistent lack of sleep for years was the hardest part of motherhood for me. I looked forward to an afternoon nap with an unusually ardent affection. Can I just lay down? was on autopilot in my brain. Also, I was still drinking a big glass of milk with an entire packet of chocolate carnation drink mix every morning b/c it had protein in it. It also had a HUGE amount of sugar and while I now know how sugar affects my energy, I did not at the time. I was literally pouring TIRED AND FATIGUE JUICE into my veins.

Anyway, one Sunday I sat with a nice elderly man. What little hair he had, had long ago turned pure white. His eyes were blue eyes and framed with smile wrinkles. As we sat down he asked kindly, “How are you doing?”

I’m embarrassed to say I burst right into tears. All I could think and sputter was, I am just so tired.

He smiled and tilted his head and said, “Sister, you are doing a great work. Remember that out of the small and simple things, great things come to pass. Someday, your children – your sons – will call you blessed.

Now I admit, the first thing I thought was, oh my gosh, he said SONS. Am I pregnant? Am I having more boys??? I may have been pregnant at the time, I don’t remember, but I do remember that this was a very naughty phase of Nelson’s, when I would come downstairs and he had emptied all the pasta from the boxes onto the living room floor. When our eye would meet he would laugh like a little maniacal devil. So.

But after this frightening thought passed, I was encouraged.

Through all of the hard times of parenting, and all the “good” and rewarding parts too, I have remembered this old man’s words. They come to my mind often. Though I may not be called “blessed” yet, I have already come to see that all of the “small and simple” things are among the most important in a child’s life.

As for “my sons,” I only have one biological son, but there are many many boys I have had opportunities to “mother.” #lucky. (But only Nelson has emptied entire boxes of uncooked pasta on my floor. Special one.)

My darling daughter Cope who has been serving as a missionary in Taiwan for six months, and will be there for another twelve months, sent this to me for Mother’s Day.

So I send it out to you, wonderful women who mother the world and small creatures everywhere, who sometimes wonder how “enough” you are…you are. xoxo

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Inspiration for the week: Rachel Held Evans

Pebbles at Highland Lake

In remembrance of Rachel Held Evans, a truly courageous Christian woman who wrestled with doubt and faith, who challenged hypocrisy, who championed ALL. She passed away suddenly this past week at age 37.

From The New York Times:

“Her last blog post appeared online on Ash Wednesday, March 6, a day of repentance. It signals the start of Lent, which ends with the celebration of resurrection on Easter Sunday.

“Whether you are part of a church or not, whether you believe today or your doubt, whether you are a Christian or an atheist or an agnostic or a so-called ‘none,’” Ms. Evans wrote, “you know this truth deep in your bones: ‘Remember that you are dust and to dust you will return.’”

“Death is a part of life,” she added. “My prayer for you this season is that you make time to celebrate that reality, and to grieve that reality, and that you will know you are not alone.”

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Book Recommendations! (my april reads)

I read five books this month. Kindof. Two were DNF (did not finish) for different reasons. I don’t want to throw any authors under the proverbial bus (is that used correctly?) so I won’t tell you what they are (unless you corner me on the street), BUT – they came with a lot of BUZZ, touted as AMAZING! MUST READ!

My dear librarians BOUGHT these two books for the local library b/c I asked for them – and then I didn’t like them. Oh dear.

I sometimes wonder about these reviews, this whole “buzz” thing – who gets it, who doesn’t and why?

ANYWAY.

The two books that I loved this past month? BOTH middle grade reads! Middle grade is hot right now! Both of these books I HIGHLY recommend for you adults out there. Both have huge potential in a book club or as a conversation with younger readers:

The Miscalculations of Lightening Girl by Stacy McAnulty

Lucy Callahan’s life is changed forever when she’s struck by lightening. The zap gives her genius-level math and science abilities that she tries to keep under-wraps as a middle schooler. Technically, she could be in college – but surviving middle school is WAY HARDER. Can she do it? And what happens when her friends find out she’s a genius? This is a fantastic book, with themes of acceptance, differences, OCD, and friendship. It made me laugh out loud a few times – always a plus!

The Benefits of Being an Octopus by Ann Braden

From my Instagram review: I really really loved seventh-grade Zoey. She’s a girl who takes small brave steps to transform herself and her family when the adults in her life have forgotten how. Poverty can so easily kill the spirit. Zoey takes herself and the reader to a place of realization that you can – and you should – say NO when you’re made to feel less than. It’s hopeful, but know there are rough issues explored- ones that will prompt good and necessary discussion. Braden writes deftly about the things we see but don’t want to see. It’s a reminder to me, personally, that there is suffering I NEED to see and act upon, esp when it comes to children. Highly recommended! Great job, Ann. A stellar debut

Life Goes On & Happy Bday, Cass

There’s still snow on the ground. But the rhubarb finds a way.

Today is Good Friday, the day we commemorate Jesus’s trial, crucifixion, and burial 2000 years ago. Amazing, really, that such a long-ago event remains so central in our lives. Good Friday was not good, but with the belief in Christian doctrine, a necessary one. The “good” of Good Friday is incongruous unless viewed in what it heralds…on Sunday He rose.

You know I see “signs” everywhere. I relate to words of poet Mary Oliver, who wrote And mostly I’m grateful that I take this world so seriously.

I can’t help it. There has to be meaning in everything.

In New Hampshire the snow lingers to the point of exasperation. It’s mid-April and last week I was driving through a snow storm! But a day later I spotted it – the bright red of the rhubarb poking through the brown dead earth.

I was reminded of how I received this rhubarb. It was a surprise gift. Thank you, Tamar. She was sad. She was thinking of Heather. She felt a wreck. To top it off, she had killed her beloved rhubarb plant. Actually, she only thought she had. Hark! One day, growing out of her own dead brown earth was a baby shoot of scarlet red.

“Suddenly,” she said, “it was as if I heard Heather’s commanding voice behind me – ‘SEE! LIFE GOES ON!'”

Tamar dug up a piece of the rhubarb root, got in her car, and drove to my house. She gave me the tiny plant and said I was not capable of killing it. Indeed, I neglect it and still it grows. It has become a yearly reminder: after the winter, spring always come. Life goes on.

Easter Sunday is Cassie’s birthday. She would have been 38. In June it will be three years since we very unexpectedly lost her. I tried to reread the post I wrote and found I could not. I also hesitate on my word choice – “lost.”

My good brother. And sweet Scout who loves her mama and happy sunflowers.

Yes, “Good Friday” was a tragic day and yet it made possible to have “Good News” – that Jesus Christ would rise again. Because of this, we too, will rise again. It is both incredibly implausible and absolutely believable.

I find it significant, or perhaps only comforting, that this Easter weekend is Cassie’s birthday – and not the anniversary of her death.

She is gone from this earth, but she is not lost to us. She is there. Here.

Happy Easter, friends. What GOOD NEWS we’ve been given.

“Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.”
― Mary Oliver, Thirst

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