L.T. Marshall's Blog, page 15

Make a baby/little Yoda – knitting pattern

It’s that time of the month again folks. Free knitting pattern time!!!

I have been so obsessed with all the little baby Yoda creations appearing in all my crafty groups and on YouTube, so decided I would treat all those star wars lovers to a special make this month. Yoda has always been my favourite and just adored this quick knit.

So enjoy, and don’t forget to check out my other patterns , or my books while you are here.

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Get the pattern here !!



Yoda Knitting Pattern DownloadDownload

Aliexpress Craft/Stationary Haul – Bargains!!

I have a video below with all the products I have been collecting since November, I know many love haul videos as it highlights things they might want to buy.

Aliexpress for those who don’t use it, is a wholesale website that used to only sell in bulk. Nowadays it lists single purchases at wholesale prices (mostly from china) and it is easy to use if you do not mind long shipping times. Most of my orders take from 2-6 weeks and some have even topped out at 8 weeks.

The most important thing when using sites like this , is to read the entire listing fully, check for sizes and the reviews which are usually at the bottom. I have had very few fails because I make sure I know exactly what I am getting. This site sells everything from beauty products, clothes and toys to stationary and home decor. I love the craft selections the most as the variety is massive and affordable.

Crafting and paper crafts can be such an expensive hobby so i make it my life mission to find cheap bargains and cute things at the fraction of a price when I can and share them all with you.

Below the video is the list of things in the video, prices and links. I am UK so some of these were all bought with free shipping to UK in mind. Some may vary of you use Aliexpress but live in another country. Not all the listings have free shipping and since purchasing, some have now added it so prices may vary to ones mentioned in the video, now that I have collected links.

A lot of the shops offer shipping discounts though so always check your own shipping with how many items you are purchasing.

Where to buy –

Unicorn create book – https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1686736835
£4.99 – shipping is free with prime.

Carrero Journal – https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1086718941
£8.50 – shipping is free with prime

1 sheet Faux leather fabric £3.52 (there was a shipping charge on this item)- https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000117994887.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.3da24c4dUTGX42

46 pcs Toadstool stickers £1.17 (shipping charge)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32911607916.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.3da24c4dUTGX42

3 sets of 40 transparent flower images £2.67 (including shipping)
Choose your designs
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000137023385.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.3da24c4dUTGX42

100 pcs vintage book stickers £1.82 (including shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000165467536.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dniznaK

100 wax seals £1.44 (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000339499663.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dniznaK

4 pcs unicorn correction tape £1.84 (including shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32973493403.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dniznaK

40 cactus stickers 80p (including shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000122009361.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dniznaK

12 milk liner pens £3.56 (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/33048029148.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dniznaK

5 pcs blue tone washi tape £1 (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/33039875040.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dvqnZXK

4 pcs pink tone washi tape £1 (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/33031169443.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dvqnZXK

10 pcs blue pattern washi tape £1.94 (including shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000215779898.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dvqnZXK

Mechanical pencil plus refills 88p (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000340830014.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dvqnZXK

Planner word and icon stamp set £1.35 (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32833135070.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dvqnZXK

Monthly calendar stamp set £1.56 (including shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000410106927.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dvqnZXK

12 shts camping scrapbook paper £1.94 (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32959824075.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dvqnZXK

12 shts fox scrapbooking paper £2.01 (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32869851044.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dvqnZXK

40 pcs delicate white lace paper £3.03 (including shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/33032185540.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dniznaK

60 pcs starry stickers £1.86 (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/33031764774.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dniznaK

10 pcs thing gold white washi tape £1.25 (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/33031764774.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dniznaK

20 pcs thin black and white washi tape £1.53 (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000093359918.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dniznaK

30 pcs planet notelets 33p (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/33022790435.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dniznaK

Gold star ring – this was no longer available so found an alternate
£1.31 (shipping included)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000310589473.html?spm=a2g0o.productlist.0.0.18c15428U13fhk&algo_pvid=f0f184f0-09ff-44c3-a7a9-da0e7a29299a&algo_expid=f0f184f0-09ff-44c3-a7a9-da0e7a29299a-38&btsid=22f12bc6-de21-4889-8baf-10e642137368&ws_ab_test=searchweb0_0,searchweb201602_4,searchweb201603_53

Faux druzy bracelet 91p (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/33055113182.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dIkw8ex

Gold and clear gem bracelet 73p (free shipping)
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32917428380.html?spm=a2g0s.9042311.0.0.27424c4dvydGkJ

Don't give up on them.

A group I am in is talking about people who have intervened in their life to save them from abuse and their gratitude. It brought up a memory of my own from when I had my own flat back when I was in my very early twenties.
A new couple had moved into the empty flat next door after it had sat vacant for years . I remember one night, the girls and I were having a little drink and movie night and we heard banging and shouting through the wall.
I remember the girl well, she had passed me in the hall prior to that on a few occasions that week and always seemed shy and withdrawn, avoided eye contact and would run away when I tried to say hi. I was young and naive and didn’t know how to see signs of DV.
So anyway, my flat was an L shaped building, in that my living-room window could look right into theirs easily and as they had only moved in had no blinds or curtains up. We had first turned down our music to listen,wondering what the hell was going on, when my friend caught sight of them at the window and we had all run over to look.
He was beating her.
He had her pinned to the window by the throat and we could clearly see him mouthing the words ‘I am going to kill you.’
We were about 5 girls I think, all late teens, early twenties and we saw enough in just 3 minutes to act without thought. While one of us stayed to use my house phone to call the police, the other 4 of us went straight to their door and started pounding on it, trying the handle to get in and calling out that we could see him.
Within minutes he answered, acting cool and trying to pretend he had no idea why we would be there. It didn’t last because we told him straight what we saw and to get out of the way, we were there for his girlfriend and when she appeared in the hall far behind him, we coaxed her to come to us.
She was visibly shaking, white as a sheet and tear stained. She lurked in the shadow afraid to come out and stayed silent when he kept demanding she tell us to go away because ‘they were fine’. I remembered thinking how much she looked like a terrified fragile child, half his size and build and that despite the mess of her, she was pretty.
He got really mad and as I was at the front , he squared up to me aggressively in an attempt to get us out of the doorway to shut it. I remember my tiny bombshell pal Rachel was in there like a cyclone, fierce little wifey she was, and used her breasts to bounce him back while delivering a full mouthful at him that we would not be intimidated by a wife beater.
The girl seeing a show of us not being afraid of him, came to us and was immediately shuffled to the safety of my open door while we informed him to go sit down and wait for the police. See we were witnesses and we didn’t need her voice to get him done. He couldn’t twist her to deny anything at all. She had five other voices fighting her corner this time.
Long story short – we took that girl into my flat., we surrounded and assured her we wouldn’t let him hurt her, we made her tea and gave her tissues and waited on the police, who came quickly. We repeatedly told her ‘it is not your fault or what you deserve’
They say you should never intervene in abuse , that it can make things worse, but we couldn’t stand by and watch that girl being thrown around like a rag doll. She was one of us – a girl who suffered at the hands of an abuser. Most of us had been through it in one form or another. She needed someone to not look the other way and not give up on her when her fear kept her grounded in that house. And when she ran past him and he caught her arm – we removed it. We were not leaving her behind. We were NOT backing down and going away, for anything.
And she WAS grateful to us, thanked us repeatedly. She shook, she cried, she admitted it was a common occurrence and the police took her to family, while he was carted off to jail.
When I got the letter to go to court as a witness I found out she had never gone back to him in that time frame. Neither had come back to that flat and the council had put a new tenant in.
Which I know better than anyone is not always the case – trauma bonding is a very real thing and why so many women go back.
She didn’t come to court though. I hoped it was because she had found a new life and didn’t want him to be able to get to her again.
The case was thrown out, despite our statements, because she was needed to be able to testify too. Which I think is wrong. We witnessed his violence and he should have been held accountable for that, whether she was strong enough to speak her truth or not. We were willing and able to speak for her. The law didn’t seem to care though.
I don’t know what happened to her and all these years I have wondered. Did we alter her life? Make a difference? Or did we make it worse?
Did she go back to him eventually? I hope not.
Did she run far away? Is she happy now? Is she safe?
She was literally a brief moment in my life. A 45 minute guest in my home and yet I have never forgotten her.
Does she remember us? Those five loud, stubborn girls in their pajamas who invaded her house and hauled her away.
I hope so.
She is why, and many like her that I will never stop writing about abuse, never stop trying to open peoples eyes. Never stop shining a light and saying ‘over here, look, you are not alone’
Don’t give up on that person in your life, who is too afraid or too emotionally broken and bonded to an abuser to leave ….yet.
Be there, stay close, tell them when they are ready that you will be their support and their safety. They need it more than you can ever know. They need to know they are not alone. That you will stand with them, beside, in front and do all you can to help them when the time comes. That you know it is THEM who has to choose to come with you.
See, their abuser has convinced them they are alone and that leaving is not an option and they will hurt any who help. Don’t reinforce that by walking away too.
Our strength came from one another, the trust in knowing we were a team and had each others back. . Alone we might not have had the courage to stand up to him……think of how that girl would have felt.
Would it have turned out the same way had we just called and left the police to deal with it? I don’t think so. I think she needed to know people cared, to gain strength from somewhere.
I know it’s hard and frustrating to watch someone you love stay, but please do not walk away. You will become another person to look the other way and do nothing and then carry that guilt and pain if one day, they just aren’t there anymore to save at all.
#standtogether #youarenotalone
My inbox is always open. I am a safe space and my email is on this website, my social media, with many links to resources for people who have been abused or live with abuse (all forms). Don’t be afraid to use them or to reach out.
There are people in this world who care.

Don't be an abusers pawn

This is a topic that is very rarely touched upon and I don’t know why, because it is a massive part in how abusers operate. I decided after recent events in my own personal life that I wanted to write a blog about this and I will try as best as I can to explain clearly the things I have witnessed or researched over the years.

I am no expert but I do like to think of myself as an advocate for surviving abuse and moving on – seeing as it’s my specialty and what I write books about. I spend my life studying the psychology and behavioral patterns surrounding all sides of abuse.

Take this blog as merely my view, my observations in how I navigate situations and by all means research for yourself. The only way we can break this pattern and tool of abuse is by refusing to be drawn in and used as a weapon.

I am no stranger to it, no stranger to being in the clutches of manipulative or abusive people or standing my ground against someone in defense of another. Many have tried to silence or scare me away so they can continue their crusades on another innocent soul and yet have failed. I won’t back down from it. I am not easily scared away and neither should you be. Bullies and abusers are usually cowards and have no power at all. They rely on making you think they do.

I think arming yourself with knowledge and tools, opening your eyes to how even you can be manipulated into being an abuser indirectly is a good place to start. Joining the fight to stand against abuse.

We are all capable of it. We all play roles every day in life and this is one we never seem to really talk about.

So what is a pawn?

Someone who is manipulated and used as the person to carry out the actions of the offender. A minion. Usually easy to manipulate and naive. Usually truly good people who think they are defending a victim.

The offender?

The person behind the abuse. Usually crying victim at every opportunity and mass enlisting people to fight on their behalf while directing, encouraging and pushing them to act on their behalf. They will paint a picture to gain sympathy and convince you they are being wronged, hurt or bullied. They will work on your sympathy and make you feel truly sorry for them.

This offender usually cries victim, has a very good story about how they were wronged and will always hide behind those they can use to do their dirty work. This can involve spreading gossip, targeted hate in the form of social media comments, messages, texts, calls or anything that requires you reach out to the other party and inflict even more injury in their life. Silencing them and disregarding their side of the story loudly. Stalking a profile and reporting back. Copying their posts or pictures and ridiculing them. Constantly keeping the drama in the forefront and not letting the other person walk away or be heard. Invalidating them and their voice so no one can ever hear or believe their side of the story. It’s usually aggressive, constant and driven nastily. This person is at the center of the drama while continuing to complain how it’s affecting their life.

Narcissists use this eloquently and have groomed and perfected the act of using people to further isolate and capture their victim in a place which can only be described as emotional hell. It’s a very effective tool. Especially in this age of technology and social media where you can access a person in many ways and have around the clock ability to torment them.

You can learn a lot from reading up on articles like this , which highlights, breaks down and simplifies traits present in most abusers. It can apply to almost every situation and not just domestic violence – http://www.newhopeforwomen.org/abuser-tricks

Let’s list some of the common ones.

Isolation – first an abuser will infiltrate the victims friend groups, family and try to separate them by any means. Removing allies and turning others against them. If you can see the person you are siding with doing this – view it as a red flag. This can happen either with stories, verbal or typed which portray the victim badly on social media or outright threats to ‘stop getting involved’. The lack of any physical evidence is usually a clue. And any evidence is usually snippets out of context and you will never be shown full conversations.

Destruction – they don’t want apologies or any form of resolution or to even walk away and get on with their lives. They want to annihilate another person and punish all those involved. This will spread to anyone who supports the victim too. So instead of having you target just one, they will target entire groups and try to intimidate and pick people off – another red flag that suggests you are being used.

Ongoing anger – human nature is to forgive and forget and move on. It’s not always the case in severe trauma scenarios but most people will put the past behind them in some form and try to move on. Abusers do not. So is their intent at being seen as a victim and destroying the other persons life that they will not let go. If you find the person obsessing, bringing it up constantly and taking constant action to prolong the drama – walk away from them. They don’t want it to end.

Turning on doubters – the quickest way to know if you are being used by an abuser is to question their behaviour or doubt their motives. Quicker than the flick of a switch you will be deemed a traitor and join the others in having their lives destroyed. Choose inaction and make it clear and again you will see the ugly side of their personality. Quick to insult and abuse and label you as a traitor.

Threats, intimidation – abusers cannot stand people who see through them so the first port of call is to target the strong ones in an attempt to remove them. This will be done with using pawns to intimidate or threaten said people. Using personal things about them to try and scare them away and back down so they can have a clear path to continue abusing their victim. They will also try to turn the victims support against them with more fabrications. Innocent people have no need to threaten or intimidate or destroy lives – bear that in mind.

If the person is encouraging you to threaten, reach out to supporters and try to sway them, then take note. Innocent people do not need to threaten and abuse.

No responsibility at all – this means they accept nothing in the situation is anything they deserved or added too. As things escalate and people cause excess drama the offender will only scream louder how innocent they are and people are trying to make them look bad. Innocent people tend to give up trying to maintain the truth and walk away,(unless it is of course concerning imprisonment) close down and stop interacting. – it’s been noted in many psychology papers. Most people can admit some wrong doing in a situation when looking at the bigger picture but an abuser will never do it. Most people can come to some sort of resolution or agreement to cut all ties.

Controlling – just look at how this person treats those around them and in life. Most abusers are controlling, quick to insult and put people down and are critical most of the time. They hide nastiness in passive aggressive behaviours or are outright aggressive. Sometimes they can appear to be charmers, seem level but the telltale sign is how quickly they erupt at any form of criticism aimed their way. Over reaction is usually a clue. They cannot tolerate it.

Quick to share – this one is not always true but in things I have experienced it has been. The abusers willingness to tell the entire story to anyone who listens in hopes of getting them on side. Victims usually have had their trust in people broken at the hands of the onslaught of abuse and reluctant to speak to anyone new who ‘wants to know the drama’ They will usually even find speaking out in the first place, incredibly hard. The abuser has no trust issues as they are the abuser and therefore quite willing to share the slandering of the other person freely. In fact they will tell the tale to anyone they get near, they never stop looking for pawns.

Gaslighting – turning the abuse around and making the victim look over dramatic or crazy. This is the most important one and usually the most obvious in any situation. Belittling, invalidating any reaction to how they have tortured the other person. Laughing at their reaction, as though it’s insane of over dramatic to what you have been used to do to them.

These are just some of the more obvious traits but the list is endless and I have only touched on a few I myself have encountered. Every day people are used to fight battles on behalf of other people and people are manipulated and drawn in thinking they are helping the true victim. As humans we want to protect the vulnerable and help. It’s human nature but very few talk about the fact that goodness is often manipulated.

In domestic violence this form of gas-lighting and turning the tables is how the abuser keeps the victim in control and silent. Any hints of truth escaping are clamped down brutally and stomped back into silence. Without minions or pawns the abuser loses that control so of course they have many methods of using you.

I could go on about this topic all day but I think you have the jist of what I am highlighting.

I hope after reading this that you evaluate scenarios when faced with them and take the time to look at the other side, the bigger picture. Many women and men caught in abusive homes really do put out cries for help in many ways, but most of the time the abuser is so apt on shutting it down using other people, that the true victim accepts fate and becomes silent.

Please help fight to give them back their voice. To learn to trust people again and know some of us will never be threatened or intimidated into shutting up or backing down.

#Standupforvictims

If you are the victim of abuse, caught in domestic violence or feel trapped in a circumstance please browse my info page for helpful contacts. Speak out, there are people who believe you.

Support for victims Abuse

The Carrero Effect, Free For 5 Days!

Help Raise funds for Rural Fire Brigades of QLD and NSW.

Hi Everyone (Feel free to copy and paste to your own blogs and social media to help spread it xx)

I just wanted to post that Beyond the Pages are hosting an online Book Auction 24-27 January with all proceeds going to the Rural Fire Brigades of QLD and NSW.

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For our overseas friends Australia is currently facing some of its worst bushfires the country has seen. We have millions of acres of land on fire, animals and habits have been lost, properties damaged and lives lost. Our brave rural firefighters are out there 24/7 trying to fight these fires and they have minimal resources.

We would appreciate if anyone could share and raise interest for the event. We have raised $430 so far with a local lunch raffle but are now opening it up to the online community.

We have received donations from Authors Australia and NZ wide as well as cash donations to auction off a kindle and gift cards. We will be posting pictures of the auction lots soon. All books are signed by the author and any cash donations towards our auction can be sent a tax receipt.

For any further information please click on the original post or feel free to PM me.

Please also join us at Beyond The Pages Australia and Beyond The Pages Worldwide to be kept up to date with our auction results.

Kind regards
Kellie Josephs

Free printable stationary while I Penpal

New Year’s is almost upon us and I have been catching up with my Penpal mail over the holidays. I decided to film this one as a break to some of my resin and knitting and hope you enjoy.

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I designed a simple and free PDF for you to download and print if you have any letter writing to do , which you can get here. You can see how they look and are assembled in the video and I absolutely love the simplicity yet whimsy of this set. Print on good quality paper for a nicer finish. I used a cream paper in a textured finish for mine which made it a little thick for putting in the envelope later.

Toadstool EnvelopeDownload



Toadstool PaperDownload



The video

Getting ready for New Year

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and now in that weird space between Xmas and New year I am sure you are all feeling as out of whack as me, and lost the day of the week somewhere along the way.
I decided to get productive while chilling on the couch. So while binge watching ‘The Witcher’, I came up with a new design for my of knitting patterns and wanted to share her with you.

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After weeks of Christmas knitting it was a nice change to switch into a completely different theme and yes, you guessed it. I have spring and future gardening on my mind as soon as the weather starts to warm up, with this cute girl Gnome. This is Gertrude and you can buy the pattern here.
I may come up with a friend or two for her in the next weeks and I hope to get my Unicorn themed pattern book on Amazon soon too!

If I don’t blog before then, have a great New Year and lets hope 2020 is better for us all xxx

Enter To Win

The fab company The Way of the Tortoise, on Facebook are having a cool giveaway. Such serene and organisational gifts to kick start the new year.

With such a cute prize, I myself just had to enter.

You can enter by clicking the pic

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Merry Christmas Everyone

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