Angela Ackerman's Blog: Writers Helping Writers, page 174

Angela Wanders The Blogosphere

Hi everyone! Today, I am on a walkabout, visiting a bunch of great writers and talking about THINGS. Want to take the hike with me? Just click on the links below & discover some great blogs in the process!



The awesome Mindy Hardwick asks me to spill my Top 5 Pet Peeves in Books. Do you have the same ones?  The talented Elizabeth Arroyo is giving her love to a previous post on Flirting 101--how cool is that?The inquisitive Laura Stanfill asks me 7 GREAT Questions. What are they? Stop in and see!The angelic Danyelle Leafty challenges me to name my Top 5 Villains in Books. Are yours on my list?If you have some time today, I hope you'll stop in.  Happy writing!

Character Trait: Glamorous

Definition : having an aura of allure and fascination; a showy attractiveness



Causes : a need for attention, a fear of what others will think, always wanting to look one's best out of respect for others, being raised in a glamorous environment (Hollywood, Broadway, etc.), having parents or siblings in the glamor industry, excessive wealth



Characters in Literature and Pop Culture: Scarlett O'Hara (Gone with the Wind), Jay Gatsby (The Great Gatsby), Audrey Hepburn, Princess Grace



Positives : Power and wealth are undeniably attractive, so most glamorous characters catch the attention of others. They are envied, admired, and copied by their peers. Glamorous characters have an air of self-confidence (whether real or fabricated) that is appealing. Whether the glamor is a true extension of a person's personality or a complete fabrication, the glamorous person is somewhat set apart from others. While this aloofness is scorned in a "normal person", it is often expected and overlooked in the glamorous character.



Negatives : Glamorous characters are easily misunderstood. Because of their aloofness, people don't often get to know the real person and often draw incorrect conclusions about them. As a result, glamorous people may have trouble trusting others, never knowing if someone is reaching out to them out of a true desire to connect or a selfish motivation. While some glamorous people dress and act the way they do as a true extension of their personality, many use glamor as a shield, wanting to keep people at arms' length or portray themselves as being more important than they are. Glamor can mask insecurity, weakness, and great sadness.



Common Portrayals : actors, models, royalty, the wealthy, rock stars, beauty queens



Clichés to Avoid: the criminally bored young heir or heiress; the glamorous character who takes pity on a hopeless cause and makes her over into someone fabulous; the washed-up actress or model who clings to her glamor via plastic surgery and inappropriate clothing 




Twists on the Traditional Glamorous Character: 




Glamorous characters are almost always wealthy. But what about a poor or working class character who achieves glamor through little means? (Pretty in Pink style) 
Or, to twist the cliché the other direction, create a wealthy character with absolutely no style or fashion whatsoever. 
People usually work so hard at being glamorous because of their need to live up to others' expectations, being driven to keep up with the Joneses, or a desire to appear more "together" than they really are. Try changing the motivation to put a twist on the glamorous character. 







Conflicting Characteristics to Make your Glamorous Character Unique or More Interesting : distracted, humble, clumsy, rowdy, poor, awkward, strange



*****



Oh, and Angela has skipped over to J.C. Martin, Fighter Writer today to share her tips for effective book marketing. And believe me, if there's anyone you want to spy on while they discuss marketing, it's Angela, so head on over and check it out!

Want to Write a Best Seller? Change Your Mind

Today, a treat! Dr. John Yeoman joins us from Writers Village, a blog dedicated to helping writers succeed. Holding a PhD in Creative Writing, John is the author of eight humour books,  tutors at a UK University and judges for the Writers’ Village story competition. If you like, he offers a free 14-part course in writing fiction for profit on his website. If you've ever been interested in entering writing contests, this site might be a good starting point, especially for UK writers.



Now I'll turn things over to him, so read on!



~ ~ ~

Want to Write a Best Seller? Change Your Mind!

Teenagers know better than we do, how to write great stories. Sounds absurd? We’re experienced authors, right? We know the craft tricks. We’ve pounded the keypad all our lives...



Yet, it’s true. Because young people often have a freshness of experience that we can’t match. Simply, they don’t know enough as yet. And that’s their gift.



Of course, they might not be great shakes at grammar or punctuation. That’s dog work. It’s quickly learned. What they have, most of them, is a freshness of perception. And we can’t match it.



Perhaps we had it once. Then we lost it, around the time our teacher slapped us down for telling lies. Or we set our hearts on some literal-minded discipline like chemistry or bricklaying.



But maybe it’s still there, whimpering at us like a child locked in a closet. If we’re creative writers, we can hear it...



To see the world as it is, without labels, is the gift of genius. Maybe William Blake had it. For him, to describe a tree as an angel was not just a metaphor. He actually saw an angel.



Hemingway had a similar gift. He didn’t see angels, of course. He saw the bedrock of experience, stripped of its metaphors. He found the words to describe what he saw. Then he stripped off a thousand superfluous words for every word he used.



Can we find that freshness in our own writing?

Sometimes. There’s a trick to it. I teach creative writing at a UK university. As an exercise, I ask my first-year students to wander around the campus for 20 minutes. Stop at random, I say. Just stop for five minutes and look at what’s in front of you. (Be discreet, I tell them...)



Pretend you have never seen that thing before. Use all your five senses to perceive it. Then come back and write a few lines to describe what you perceived.



I tell them: “You can’t just write: ‘I saw a mop propped in a bucket.’” That’s journalism. Bring out the essence of that mop.



Some students ‘get’ it.



“The mop gazed at me like an old man with a grey beard and rheumy eyes.” “The garbage bin was an Aztec god. Cigarette butts lay around it, ritual offerings.” “Parked cars steamed in the forecourt. Beetles with bright carapaces. Roaches stained with rust. Everywhere, the tangled antennae of bicycles.”



Annie Proulx does this in The Shipping Forecast. Every line glows with epiphanies. Maybe she does it too much. The book screams: “Look at me. Don’t I write well?” David Lindsey gets it right in A Cold Mind. Among the routine squalor of a murder hunt, Lindsey hits us with a glittering insight. Again and again. We don’t just see what’s happening. We feel it, taste it, smell it.



Balance is everything.

A lot of authors never try for those effects. James Patterson is as prosaic as cold porridge yet his books top the best seller lists. Some readers just want plot, fast-paced events, a consumable ‘good read’. Fine. But a novel that also hits us with fresh language appeals to a broader market.



The crime thrillers of the late Lawrence Sanders never stop selling. Sanders had the trick of fresh perception.



Can that trick be learned? For literal-minded writers, it’s tough. Many of my students don’t want to learn it. They yearn to be reporters. Playing with words is for columnists, they say. (Never mind that columnists get paid more.)



But if a writer is creative enough to embark on a novel, the trick can be acquired. It’s a sleight of meditation. Just look at an event, an object, a person. Pretend you’re a little child. You’ve never seen it before.



I remember once walking into an art show. On the wall, some joker had hung an empty frame. Within the frame was the wall itself, plain bare bricks. I stopped. I frowned. I looked.



Suddenly, those bricks became objects of numinous wonder. Their textures, colours, cracks glowed with meaning. Of course, I was sinking in all that ‘meaning’ myself. It’s the trick of modern art. Perhaps that’s what the joker had intended me to understand.



(Or was he really a joker? I seem to remember the exhibit had a hefty price tag.)



That’s the essence of the trick.



Put a mental frame around an object, howsoever mundane. The frame has a distancing effect. It forces on us a new perspective. At once, a fireplace becomes a giant’s mouth; the glowing coals are a magic grotto. It flickers with mystery, fairy lights and invitation...



Do you remember those days? Suddenly, we have regained the viewpoint of a child.



If we could once do it before a smoky fireplace, we can do it again - in our stories.



~ ~ ~

How about you? Have you tried framing objects or thinking in metaphor in order to get in touch with a fresh perspective on setting? What techniques do you employ when crafting rich sensory detail that will pull the reader into the scene?  



***And before I forget...



Hop on over to  Jenny's The Dreamweaver's Cottage for an interview with BECCA. After all, this could be the post where she admits to having *whispers* extra-terrestrial DNA. Or maybe she'll give out the co-ordinates to her Zombie Apocalypse shelter filled with Mountain Dew & chain saws. Perhaps she will answer the critical question: Why Bacon tastes SO GOOD? 



One never knows what secrets she might spill, so swing on by to find out!

WRITING HERO: K.M. Weiland

[image error] For a long time now, Becca and I have wanted a way to acknowledge the people who have helped us develop into stronger writers and who add to the writing community as a whole. So, once a month I'll be featuring a writer who really makes an impact...someone who is a true Writing Hero.



Today I am excited to give a well deserved shout out to someone so many of us know: K.M. Weiland.



Katie is one of those special people that every fledgling writer hopes to come across. She has one of the best craft blogs out there and knows writing inside and out. I was so grateful when I found her blogging at Author Culture years ago, which then led me to her personal blog Wordplay: Helping Writers become Authors. And that's just what she does--helps writers of all levels grow stronger and move closer to their goals.



Katie herself is the author of several books, writing both Historical and Speculative fiction. She also has a wonderful writing book I really recommend to anyone who is looking to understand or sharpen their outlining skills: Outlining Your Novel: Map Your Way To Success. I found it especially helpful as I try to make the move from pantsing into more structured outlining, without losing that critical creative element that is so important to a pantser's process. If you want to read more about her Reverse Outlining technique, there's an excerpt here.



[image error] Katie also has a series of podcasts if you like to listen as you write, or enjoy the more interactive feel of a podcast. If you visit her blog, you'll find a huge list to choose from. Katie's craft posts are not to be missed as she always offers great insight and she also has a FREE Digital book on Crafting Unforgettable Characters, so head on over and snag a copy!



In short, she's incredibly generous with her time and expertise, and just a positive, caring force in the writing community. You can connect with her on Twitter, Facebook and if you like, add her books to your Goodreads lists. So thank you K. M. Weiland, for being one of my WRITING HEROES. You inspire me!



To pay it forward, I will give a 1000-word critique to Katie. She can then choose to keep it for herself or offer it as a giveaway on her blog! As a resident writing hero, she will also have a permanent link in our header.



So tell me Musers...do you know K.M. Weiland? Has she helped you or your writing in some way? Please tell us in the comments and help celebrate this amazing WRITING HERO! 



**Also, if you have the chance, BECCA is visiting the awesome Carrie Butler at her blog So, You're a Writer dishing out the 3 Ingredients Needed for a Strong Scene. Please stop in! She's also running a GIVEAWAY of The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide To Character Expression !

Character Trait Entry: Maturity

ALERT! ALERT! Our Goodreads Giveaway for TWO print copies of The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide To Character Expression ENDS TODAY! Hurry and enter, and if you like, add our book to your read list as a back up!



~~~

Definition:  a strong level of mental development or wisdom, often beyond one's years



Causes: being a firstborn child; exposure to education &/or responsibility in formative years, genetics; the encouragement of thinking for oneself and the importance of wisdom; high self-awareness; a strong interest in the outer world and how it relates to oneself; exposure to a traumatic or life-altering event; living in a environment of day-to-day survival



Characters in Literature:  Hermione (Harry Potter); Katniss (Hunger Games); Hazel & Augustus (The Fault In Our Stars



Positives: Mature characters are responsible, trustworthy, thoughtful and more consistent in behavior than others they are normally grouped with in a society. Often viewed as deep thinkers, they can articulate their thoughts at a level beyond their years or offer wisdom that seems greater than average. Matures are moralistic and have a strong thought process. They see the cause-effect scenario, and base decisions & actions on their perceptions of right & wrong.



Negatives:  Matures can be critical of others, and judge based on their own accelerated development and matured outlook/beliefs. Others may view Matures as bossy, too serious or lacking a sense of fun or spontaneity. Siblings will often view a mature brother or sister as a 'second parent', causing resentment. This is often leads to more friction because adults (parents, teachers, etc.) praise maturity, making others feel less than adequate.



Common Portrayals: Older siblings; youths facing survival situations; leaders bearing great responsibility



Cliches to Avoid:  The brainy teacher's pet; the haughty older sibling/neighbor/classmate who acts better than everyone around them; the joyless and dour adult or elder, weighed down by responsibility



Twists on the Traditional Mature:

Maturity is a trait most main characters have to some degree, because it helps them face challenges ahead. Show us an immature character who must evolve in order to succeed.
One large cause of maturity is growing up in an environment where maturity is the expectation. Show us a character who is mature despite an irresponsible or laid back upbringing. Be sure to show what made them that way.


Conflicting Characteristics to Make your Mature Unique or More Interesting: Reckless, Manipulative, Witty; Charismatic; Excitable

Sweeter Than Tea Writing Tips & Giveaway

Click for the recipe!
Hi everyone, I have SUCH a treat today! Some of my very good friends and writers that I greatly admire are releasing a short story collection, Sweeter Than Tea through Belle Books. When I found out I was all, Ahhh! and jumping around and stuff, and then I calmed down enough to ask if they might stop by and share with us a powerful Description Tip.



Many of the authors were able to be here today with Becca and I, and their tips follow. But that's not all. Belle Books is offering up 10 (yes, T-E-N) print copies of this southern-flavored collection for you to WIN. How delicious is that? So read on and check out these excellent tidbits, and leave us a comment if you'd like to be included in the giveaway. 



Descriptive Tips To Give Your Writing A Boost

Kathleen Hodges:  There's so much we want to tell our readers when we start a book so they understand our characters and their lives that we often fill the early chapters of the story with tons of backstory. After I wrote my first book, filled with purple prose and pages of backstory, I was lucky enough to have an experienced published writer look at it. She pointed to spot around page 62 in Chapter Three, and said, "Here's your beginning." And that started a writing exercise I used with most of my books after that. I would just write to my heart's content, not worrying about anything except building my characters, and the beginning would find me. Then I would take the key elements of those beginning pages and filter them in slowly. Getting that backstory out of my system was essential to knowing my characters, but not necessarily essential for my reader. Visit Kathleen at A Writer's House!



Martina Boone: When creating a setting or a character, put in one main, memorable detail that simultaneously builds-in active interaction opportunities. Incorporate that detail into the scene or story through action. Use it to show emotion. For example, the framed photo that a character smashes can tell us a lot about that character. What was the photo? When was it taken? What does it represent? How is it framed—in gold, in plain, cheap wood? Where was it kept in the room—among a lot of other photos on the mantel, at the back of a collection on the end table, by itself in pride of place? Choosing how you describe something forces you to concentrate on coming up with something meaningful and makes your description further your story as well as paint a visual. Visit Martina at Adventures in YA & Children's Publishing!



Deborah Grace Staley: Trust that you know enough to write well. Don't get me wrong. You have to do the work. Read novels like a writer, finding something in that author's writer's toolbox that you might need in yours. Go to seminars and conferences to learn about the craft from professionals. Or take a class. But at some point, acknowledge that you know something, too. Enough to see you through writing the book. Trust yourself and your instincts. Most of all, trust that when you sit down to write, even if it's an off day and you aren't sure where you're going with a scene, trust that it will come if you just sit and put fingers to keyboard (or pen to paper). Remember, as long as you have something on the page, it can always be fixed. It does not have to be golden. Visit Deborah at her Website!



Susan Sipal: Be precise and be strong! - One main reason why adverbs (and sometimes adjectives) get the bad rap that they do is because their overuse indicates weak description. If you choose a strong enough verb, you usually don't need an adverb to qualify it. And if your nouns and adjectives are precise, your writing won't risk tripping into purple prose. The foundation for choosing the most precise and strongest word is your imagination. You must first visually imagine the character, setting, action in your own mind, in vivid, active, and beyond-the-norm detail before you can convey that intriguing visual to your reader in black and white on paper or screen. This art of crafting engaging description is usually created through the work of multiple revisions. Enjoy! Visit Susan at Harry Potter For Writers!



Tom Honea: The secret, I think, is to know what the rules are and to be secure enough in what you do to stick to what feels right to you. Listen to the critiques of your group, your cohorts, but don't feel that you are obligated to do it their way.



One other suggestion: read out loud what you have written, especially the dialogue. Or better yet, get someone to read it back to you. If it sounds good out loud, it most likely is good. If it is not good, it won't sound worth a damn! Visit Tom on his Website!



Darcy Crowder: Word choice is a key element in writing description. When I’m in the creative stage of writing (as opposed to editing) my best method of creating description is to close my eyes and imagine myself as my character -in the moment. What does she see? What colors, shapes, textures are she experiencing? What sounds? The drum of a steady rain, the soft drone of insects? What smells? Freshly mowed grass, spaghetti cooking on the stove? The trick is to get the words on the page as quickly as possible. But that’s only the beginning. The magic happens in the editing. My best writing tip is to create word lists. Whenever the moment presents itself; a quiet walk alone, a crowded outdoor festival, a boat ride, a rainy day….you get the idea, take out your trusty pen and handy 3 x 5 index card (I carry some in my purse or pocket) and make a word list. Let the experience flow over you and note as much as possible, using the best words you can. Then, going back to that story you’re editing, pull from these lists. Your words will be fresh, first hand and more fully in the moment.Visit Darcy at It's Only A Novel!



Jane Forest:  Several of us got to talking about creativity during a quilting retreat I attended this past weekend. I decided that some people make things, and some just . . . don’t. The makers versus the takers. Those of us who create often have a finger in every crafty pie out there. We have whole rooms in our houses devoted to craft. We don’t simply sew or quilt, we write and make ornamental metalwork, we dye fabric and crochet and knit; do photography and woodworking and cooking and grow veggies and flowers—the list is endless.



I also work in a public library. When I'm helping people get their first email address, I chat with them to find a memorable password. “You don't want to use your children or pet’s names, that might be easy for someone to guess,” I’ll say. “Do you have any hobbies?” I’m astonished by the vast number of people that don’t do anything but chat on the phone or watch sports on TV.



So melding together these two perceptions, I've come up with my tip to all those who want to be more creative, skillful writers: Get out there and make things. Be a creator, not a consumer. Watch less television, hang up the phone. Take some classes and stretch your brains. The more you experience, the more things you discover, the better you will be able to describe them knowledgeably in your books. You never know when some skill you've learned will useful to one of your characters—and having done it yourself, your descriptive writing will have a recognizable bite of reality. Visit Jane at Forest Jane's Designs!



SWEETER THAN TEA: Family dramas, comic mishaps, sentimental remembrances and poignant choices illuminate these thirteen stories by new and established authors. There’s something for every reader: The gritty realism of a hunt for wild boars, the gentle grieving for a home now filled only with memories, the funny battle between a woman and her recipe for deviled eggs, and much more.



Come sit a spell on the front porch. Prop your feet up, sip a cold glass of sweet iced tea, and lose yourself in a way of life that’s as irresistible as pecan pie and as unforgettable as a chilled slice of watermelon on a hot summer day. Welcome to a place that exists between the pages of How It Was and How It Might Have Been—just a little bit south of the long path home.

Seriously, doesn't this sound like the type of book you want to read this summer? I am a sucker for Southern Stories, and very excited to read this one. Make sure to leave a comment for a chance to win, and if you like, add it to your Goodreads as a backup!



***ALSO, Becca, my partner in mayhem, is at Courage 2 Create, a Write To Done's Best 10 Blogs for Writers winner. She's doling out Research Tips for All Writers so please stop in and check it out!***

A Series of Visits

Angela and I are blessed in so many ways. One of the best parts of launching our book has been getting to know so many of our followers and their blogs. Today, I'd like to introduce you to a few of these awesome folks who've allowed either Angela or me or The Emotion Thesaurus to visit their sites. Now, when you hear the word 'visitor', I know it can conjure up a number of startling images.



Some people think of this:







If you're old enough, you might worry about this:









But this is more what we had in mind:







So if you have time this weekend, please stop by, meet some new friends, and say hello.




Dianne Salerni at In High Spirits shares some results after using The Emotion Thesaurus with her fifth grade writing class
Top 5 Books I Wish I'd Written Myself at Donna's Bites
An interview at Nancy Sander's Blogzone
Top 5 Tips for Fledgling Writers at The Thinker
An interview about The Emotion Thesaurus' Publication Process at Kitty's Inner Thoughts

Character Entry Trait: Calm

Definition : free from agitation or disturbance; composed; level-headed




Causes : an easy-going nature, a boring personality, lack of imagination, practicality (why get upset if I can't do anything about it?), an upbringing that focused on composure and emotional temperance, a desire for peace




Characters in Literature: Legolas, Spock, Nick Andros (The Stand), Yoda




Positives : Calm people don't rock the boat. They're dependable, do what they say they'll do, and can be relied upon to react predictably in any situation. As such, they act as stabilizers in a high drama cast of characters. They don't allow emotion to sway them and can be depended upon to hold fast to the basics and make solid decisions. Calm characters can be the glue that keeps a group from falling apart.




Negatives : Because of their consistency and reliability, calm characters are usually pretty boring. Because they always seem to do the right thing, they can be seen as cardboard, unrealistic, and forgettable.




Common Portrayals: parents and grandparents, religious figures, mentors, immortals




Cliches to Avoid:  the wise mentor who shows no emotion, no matter how desperate the scenario; the martyr who calmly and serenely faces his own death; the calm character who never makes a mistake




Twists on the Traditional Calm Character: 



Emotionally, your character might be even-keeled, but he can be weak in other areas. Give him an achilles heel or crazy quirk to make him more interesting.
Because calm character are somewhat boring, they aren't usually cast as heroes. But what if calmness is a fault that has to be overcome? What if the calm demeanor is a deep-seated survival technique that must be broken down so the hero can experience real emotion? 




Conflicting Characteristics to Make your Calm Character Unique or More Interesting: adventurous, loyal, glamorous, rude, messy, gluttonous, pessimistic

Blog Takeover: Janice Hardy On Style

I'm swapping blogs today with the oh-so-awesome Janice Hardy, author of the imaginative Healing Wars Trilogy & Writing Mastermind of The Other Side Of The Story. Janice is one of the most knowledgeable writers I know, and her MG series is among my favorites. It's a pleasure to hand her the keys and duck out...if you like, after you finishing reading her wisdom today, maybe you'll follow me to Janice's secret lair where I divulge (are you ready for this?) The Key To Success. And now over to Janice...



Are You Just Making Lists? Smoothing the Flow of Your Prose

One pitfall of a first person point of view is that you sometimes end up with a lot of sentences in a row starting with I. This holds true for third person as well, but it seems a bit more noticeable in first. (Maybe because it makes the narrator feel self-centered and egotistical). But the "list-like paragraph" can occur in a variety of ways, and they all have the same result.



A monotonous rhythm that puts readers to sleep.



Good writing has a musical flow, drawing the reader into and through the paragraph and seamlessly handing them off to the next paragraph. Without that flow, you get this:

I ran down to the river to look for my little brother. I found him sitting on a rock, his feet dangling in the water. I yelled for him to come home, but he didn't seem to hear me. I went over and nudged him in the arm. He screamed and fell off the rock into the river. I just laughed.

-Yawn-

The same rhythm, the same pace. The sentences are all roughly the same length as well, adding to that list-like feel. Before you think, "Well, that's just how first person is," let's look at it in third.



Fred ran down to the river to look for his little brother. He found him sitting on a rock, his feet dangling in the water. Fred yelled for him to come home, but he didn't seem to hear him. Fred went over and nudged him in the arm. He screamed and fell off the rock into the river. Fred just laughed.

It's just as bad, isn't it? And with both characters being male, you can't even use pronouns all the time to avoid repeating the name.



A little variety makes all the difference. Instead of just using description of action, try mixing in a little internalization, setting, mood, dialog, and reorganizing the sentence structures.



Where was that kid? Fred ran down to the river, scanning the bank where Georgie liked to play. A flash of a red Elmo t-shirt caught his eye and he veered toward it.

"Georgie! Time for dinner."

Georgie didn't turn around; just sat on his rock, head down, his feet dangling in the water.

I can't believe he's gonna make me go down there. Fred slogged through weeds and mud, messing up his brand new sneakers, and nudged Georgie in the arm.

He spun around, screaming, and toppled right off the rock and into the river.

Fred laughed. "Serves you right, brat."

A much more interesting scene now, using the same elements as the original paragraph. Now it's more than a list of actions.



But pronouns aren't the only culprits to list-like prose. Similar sentence structure can also give your prose a list feel.



Six men ran across the yard, carrying automatic weapons. They moved silently, their feet light against the stones. At the gate they stopped, waiting on high alert. Their leader disengaged the panel, shutting off the alarm.

Or even...



Six men ran across the yard and ducked behind the wall. They moved silently and their feet made little sound against the stones. At the gate they stopped and waited on high alert. Their leader disengaged the panel and shut off the alarm.

Or another common one...



Carrying automatic weapons, six men ran across the yard. Moving silently, their feet were light against the stones. Still on alert, they stopped at the gate and waited. Carefully, their leader disengaged the panel and shut off the alarm.

See how the same sentence structure flattens out the rhythm?



Red Flags for List-Like Prose

Your ear is probably the best detector on this, especially if you read the work out loud. If it sounds like a list, it probably is.



Multiple sentences all starting with pronouns, or all the same pronoun: I-I-I he-he-he, I-he-I-she, it-it-it. One trick here is to do a find and replace for "punctuation, space, pronoun" (. I ? He) and make them bold and red. Several in a row will stand out.



Sentences of the same size and structure: These are harder to find, and you really do have to trust your ear on them. But even if they don't all start with a pronoun, sentences with the same structure sound just as list-like. We did this, we did that. He did something and then did something else. To start, they all did something.



You skim it when you read it: If you find yourself skimming over a paragraph because you know what happens and all it does is relay that, there's a decent chance you're just listing the events. Your instincts are probably telling you it's not worth reading, so you don't.

Testing List-Like Prose

Another trick to test if a paragraph is sounding too monotonous, is to actually make a list with the sentences.



Fred ran down to the river to look for his little brother. He found him sitting on a rock, his feet dangling in the water. Fred yelled for him to come home, but he didn't seem to hear him. Fred went over and nudged him in the arm. He screamed and fell off the rock into the river. Fred just laughed.

Reads more like an outline than prose in this format. This also works for similar structure.



This is one of those things that once you're aware of what it sounds like, you'll quickly develop an ear for it and be able to avoid it in your own work. Trust your instincts. If it sounds like a list, it's probably a list.



Janice's Q for you: Do you check for sentence variety during revisions or does it come naturally as you write?

Janice Hardy always wondered about the darker side of healing. For her fantasy trilogy THE HEALING WARS, she tapped into her own dark side to create a world where healing was dangerous, and those with the best intentions often made the worst choices. Her books include THE SHIFTER, BLUE FIRE, and DARKFALL. She lives in Georgia with her husband, three cats and one very nervous freshwater eel. You can visit her online at www.janicehardy.com, chat with her about writing on her blog, The Other Side of the Story  or find her on Twitter @Janice_Hardy.

Villain Myths

Happy Wednesday, people! Normally, Wednesday is hardly a day to celebrate, but today's different for a couple of reasons. First, our Goodreads giveaway is still going strong, so if you're hoping to score a paperback copy of The Emotion Thesaurus (and you live in the US or Canada), head on over and enter to win. And secondly, our own Angela Ackerman is hanging out at the fabulous Query Tracker blog, where she will be spewing writing wisdom by the bucket loads. Today's topic: Three Myths About Villains. And boy does she know what she's talking about--er, I mean, she's...done a lot of research on villains. All second-hand experience, of course...