Angela Ackerman's Blog: Writers Helping Writers, page 146

Critiques for U: June Edition

CONTEST CLOSED!

Well, it’s time for this month’s Critiques 4 U contest, and usually I have some kind of pithy, witty intro. But I’ve been knee-deep in contracts for the past week, and I’m all out of humor.

Why all the contracts, you ask? Well, they’re in preparation for the awesome NEW SOFTWARE PRODUCT that Angela and I have in the works. You can read more about One Stop For Writers™ here, and if you’re interested in getting all the up-to-date info as we approach our Fall release, you can also sign up for the One Stop newsletter.

But for now…let’s do some critiques!

If you’re working on a first page and would like some objective feedback, leave a comment that includes: 

1) your email address


2) your story’s genre (no erotica, please)
3) the intended audience
~ONLY ENTRIES THAT FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS WILL BE CONSIDERED~ 

Three commenters’ names will be randomly drawn and posted tomorrow. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll offer my feedback. Best of luck!

Photo credit: Pixabay

The post Critiques for U: June Edition appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS™.

Wound Thesaurus Entry: Childhood Sexual Abuse

When you’re writing a character, it’s important to know why she is the way she is. Knowing her backstory is important to achieving this end, and one of the most impactful pieces of a character’s backstory is her emotional wound. This negative experience from the past is so intense that a character will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing that kind of pain and negative emotion again. As a result, certain behaviors, beliefs, and character traits will emerge.

Characters, like real people, are unique, and will respond to wounding events differently. The vast array of possible emotional wounds combined with each character’s personality gives you many options in terms of how your character will turn out. With the right amount of exploration, you should be able to come up with a character whose past appropriately affects her present, resulting in a realistic character that will ring true with readers. Understanding what wounds a protagonist bears will also help you plot out her arc, creating a compelling journey of change that will satisfy readers.

NOTE: We realize that sometimes a wound we profile may have personal meaning, stirring up the past for some of our readers. It is not our intent to create emotional turmoil. Please know that we research each wounding topic carefully to treat it with the utmost respect.

PAST CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE (BY A FAMILY MEMBER OR TRUSTED INDIVIDUAL)

Examples:

Sexual behaviors, touching or penetration by:

a sibling or cousin
a parent or step-parent
a parent’s romantic partner (a boyfriend or girlfriend)
a close relative (aunt, uncle, grandparent, etc.)
a teacher or principal
a babysitter
a neighbor
a friend of the family
the parent of a close friend who has access (during sleepovers, etc.)
a close friend of one’s siblings
a classmate or peer
a known adult who has authority (a police officer, priest, counselor, doctor, dentist, a farmhand or household worker, etc.)
an adult volunteer associated with the child’s activity or organization (a swim coach, Scout Leader, youth group leader, etc.)

Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: physiological needs, safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization

False Beliefs That May Be Embraced As a Result of This Wound:

My own bad decisions/choices/behavior caused my abuse to happen
I deserved it because I am worthless/a bad person
I am not safe; even those closest to me cannot protect me
Love is a lie
People take advantage of me because I let them
When I am friendly or helpful, people hurt me
I must have wanted it because I didn’t fight back/say no/etc.
I am powerless to change my life for the better
I don’t deserve a better life–bad people only deserve bad things
If I let someone get close, they will hurt me
It is better to be alone than to be betrayed
I can’t trust anyone, not even my family
I am defective
If people know what I am, they will reject me
No one could ever love someone as terrible as me
Standing out (excelling at something, feeling talented or special, wearing nice clothing, etc.) is an invitation to be hurt

Positive Attributes That May Result: analytical, assertive, brave, decisive, determined, empathetic, independent, introspective, intuitive, knowledgeable, levelheaded, loyal, observant, organized, principled, proactive, proficient, reserved, resourceful, self-reliant, watchful

Negative Traits That May Result: abrasive, addictive, anxious, cagey, closemouthed, close-minded, constrained, controlling, cruel, cynical, defiant, explosive, foolhardy, guarded, hostile, hypersensitive, inhibited, insecure, irrational, mistrustful, needy, paranoid, secretive, self-destructive, undependable, violent

Resulting Fears:

fear of being alone
fear of intimacy and sexual feelings
fear of being touched or exposed
fear of specific areas or conditions that act as triggers (a bathroom where the abuse took place, the dark, birthday parties or sleepovers, etc.)
fear of people, especially those tied to the abuser
fear of misjudging a situation or making the wrong decision
fear of trusting the wrong person
fear that the same thing will happen to someone one loves

Possible Habits That May Emerge:

becoming reclusive, avoiding family or friends
mood swings (being quick to anger), experiencing anxiety (panic attacks) and depression as an adult
changing one’s manner of dress to cover oneself more completely or feel less noticeable
giving up passions, interests or activities that one associates with the abuse
worrying about the worst case scenario and adopting pessimistic thinking
becoming overprotective or even irrational about the safety of one’s children or loved ones
developing an eating disorder or engaging in self-harm (cutting, scratching, etc.)
becoming addictive to a substance to cope (alcohol, drugs, etc.)
being achievement-driven at work, in relationships, or as a parent to “make up for being unworthy” (misplaced feelings of shame or guilt)
being unable to accept compliments (responding with self-deprecation or minimizing one’s role) or experiencing discomfort at praise
difficulty with asking for help, accepting gifts, or feeling discomfort when others bestow a kind gesture
trust issues, having a difficult time taking someone at their word, reading into situations
sexual dysfunctions (hyper sexual activity, risky sex, promiscuity, etc. or the opposite where one is unable to enjoy sex)
difficulty being open in a relationship, experiencing anxiety at becoming vulnerable
Being uncomfortable with one’s body and it being seen by others (avoiding group change rooms, disrobing in the dark, etc.)
Flinching when touched, or avoiding situations where one might be touched
Close relationships becoming strained if family members pressure the victim to not talk about it so everyone can move on and forget (resentment and anger)

TIP: If you need help understanding the impact of these factors, please read our introductory post on the Emotional Wound Thesaurus.

Image: DGlodowska @ Pixabay

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3 Quick Tips To Help Readers Connect To Your Hero

There has always been a debate on what is more important–plot or characters. For a long time, I stood on the PLOT side of things, because I thought it was my cool twists and turns that kept readers glued to the page. CHARACTERS, I believed, were just the people populating my world, the ones I did things to in order for the to story work.

And, well…I was wrong.

How do I know? Well, when I think about what makes a great read, characters always pop into my mind first. Barrie Watson and Eight Beaufort from Martina Boone’s novel Compulsion. Karou of Daughter of Smoke and Bone. Mat Cauthom of The Wheel of Time. These are all characters that entranced me. I’m guessing you probably feel the same way. If you think about the stories you loved to read, the ones that made you forget to eat or workout or walk the dog…what about them stuck with you after the book was finished? Do you wish you could read more about the same plot, or do you want more time with the characters?

I’m not saying that plot and world building aren’t important, because they are. But it is the characters readers bond with and root for, and this happens because of one very important word: EMPATHY.

When characters are unique yet well-rounded and familiar in some way, we connect with them. We empathize with what they are going through, become tense when trouble hits, and relax when they emerge in one piece. We care about what happens to them because our emotions are engaged.

So how do we build strong characters that command a reader’s attention?

Create Empathy Through Action, Not Circumstance

Some writers try to use hardship as a way to elicit reader empathy, creating characters who are kicked around, impoverished, or have some sort of physical disability or handicap. Stories with these types of character situations might start out with dead parents, being moved across the country, losing a job or discovering a spouse was cheating. Going this route can be dicey though, and feel like an overused plot device if the author isn’t careful. Readers might have sympathy for what the character is dealing with, but they can also grow bored or impatient because they have seen this scenario before.

What pulls a reader in and makes them care is when they see how the character acts despite their hardship. The actions that one takes regardless of bad circumstances is what is compelling. If a character is a frazzled mess after discovering his spouse has packed up and left him a Dear John note on his nightstand, and yet he manages to shove hurt aside because he has a shift at the Teen Distress Call Center, that makes us care. His actions, his strength…this is why we are drawn in, and whatever his goal is, readers will now have an easier time rooting for him to succeed.

Understand What Came Before

The character’s life did not begin on page one, so we need to spend some time thinking about their past. What events and traumas shaped them? What happened to them that left them feeling utterly helpless and weak? Who let them down in life, and who built them up? What marked them, and wounded them? How do these past events now influence their personality and behavior?

We all try to avoid the hurts of the past, and to keep bad things from repeating. Thinking about who and what hurt your character will help you understand how they behave now to emotionally protect themselves. Don’t be afraid to show their vulnerabilities. We all feel vulnerable at times, even though we try to mask this feeling. Readers will connect to the rawness of a character feeling exposed.

Give Them Flaws, Self-Doubt & Let Them Make Mistakes

People are unique, and characters must be as well, but that doesn’t mean they should be completely foreign to the reader. One way to create commonality is through flaws. As people, we are all flawed and expect to see faults in others. If a character is too perfect and too confident, they won’t feel real. Showing a hero’s shortcomings makes them authentic and rounded. Readers will empathize when they see a character overreact and make a mistake as a result of flawed thinking. It is a reminder of their own imperfections, and they know just how painful it can be when saying or doing something stupid creates a big mess to clean up.

YOUR TURN!

How do you create complex heroes worth rooting for? What ways do you help them to stand out to readers? Tell me in the comments!

Image 2: PublicDomainPictures @ Pixabay
A version of this post first appeared here.

The post 3 Quick Tips To Help Readers Connect To Your Hero appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS™.

Emotional Wounds Thesaurus: A House Fire

When you’re writing a character, it’s important to know why she is the way she is. Knowing her backstory is important to achieving this end, and one of the most impactful pieces of a character’s backstory is her emotional wound. This negative experience from the past is so intense that a character will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing that kind of pain and negative emotion again. As a result, certain behaviors, beliefs, and character traits will emerge.

Characters, like real people, are unique, and will respond to wounding events differently. The vast array of possible emotional wounds combined with each character’s personality gives you many options in terms of how your character will turn out. With the right amount of exploration, you should be able to come up with a character whose past appropriately affects her present, resulting in a realistic character that will ring true with readers. Understanding what wounds a protagonist bears will also help you plot out her arc, creating a compelling journey of change that will satisfy readers.

HOUSE FIRE

Examples: One’s home and belongings being destroyed due to

faulty wiring
a lightning strike
a grease fire in the kitchen
unattended food on the stove
space heaters
a dirty chimney
careless smokers
a child playing with matches
flammable liquids
frayed Christmas tree lights
arson
forest fires or wildfires

Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: physiological needs, safety and security

False Beliefs That May Be Embraced As a Result of This Wound:

I can’t be trusted with anything important. (If the character blames himself)
I can’t trust the important things to anyone but me. (If someone else is to blame)
Don’t get too attached to anyone or anything, because they can disappear at any time.
I can’t ever be truly safe.
If I stay in one place long enough, something bad will inevitably happen.
Through meticulous planning, I can keep something like this from happening again.
I must cling tightly to my loved ones to keep them safe.

Positive Attributes That May Result: alert, cautious, grateful, meticulous, nurturing, simple, thrifty

Negative Traits That May Result: apathetic, callous, fussy, humorless, morbid, needy, obsessive, pessimistic, possessive, stingy, ungrateful, withdrawn, worrywart

Resulting Fears:

Fear of fire
Fear of losing one’s material things
Fear of losing irreplaceable heirlooms or sentimental items
Fear of making (another) huge mistake that has serious consequences
Fear of being responsible for the death of a loved one

Possible Habits That May Emerge: 

Obsessively checking one’s new residence for anything that could cause another fire to start
Moving often, so as not to become attached to any dwelling place
Renting rather than owning
Becoming stingy with one’s money; not purchasing unnecessary items as a way of not becoming attached to them
Becoming disdainful of materialism
Hoarding material items (out of a fear of losing them)
Avoiding duties that makes one responsible for the lives of others (if the fire was one’s fault)
Following instead of leading
Micromanaging others (if the fault was someone else’s)
Withdrawing from others
Clutching onto loved ones, out of a fear of losing them

TIP: If you need help understanding the impact of these factors, please read our introductory post on the Emotional Wound Thesaurus.

photo credit: Kiwi NZ at Creative Commons

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One Stop For Writers: Your Ultimate Online Library

This post has been waiting to be written for some time, and I must admit that as I finally type it out, I’m twitchy-nervous. Why? Because whenever we push ourselves out of our comfort zone to try something new, it is both scary and exhilarating. In our minds we imagine how wonderful it will turn out, but among these exciting flashes also churns our deepest worries and fears: Can I do this? Am I ready? Should I just stick to what is known, the path that works?

A few years ago, Becca and I were in this very same place. We had completed The Emotion Thesaurus, an unusual little resource very different from all other writing books available. Self-publishing still carried stigma, and we were about to put ourselves out there as authorities in an area dominated by traditionally published bestselling authors, highly educated editors, and world-renowned agents. Hitting publish took a lot of courage (and perhaps a dash of insanity), but we took the leap.

And I am so proud of us that we did.

So here we are again with the desire to innovate, to try and build something that will really help writers create wonderful, rich stories and characters, and save them time doing it. Becca and I, along with one of the brilliant developers of Scrivener, are creating something called One Stop For Writers™. This software brings together everything we have worked on, and everything we plan for the future, all in what we hope you will agree is a one-stop library experience unlike any other.

We are still months away from release, but we are building an email list so that we can share our progress, update our audience on some of the offerings, announce when beta testing positions come available and so much more. If this new Writers Helping Writers project sounds like something you are interested in following, we hope you’ll sign up for the occasional update.

Regardless, we are so happy you have taken this journey with us. Becca and I hope we can continue to help you succeed through content we provide here, in our books, and at One Stop For Writers™.

Image 1: Jarmoluk @Pixabay
Image 3: mikilnarayani at Pixabay

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Emotional Wounds Entry: Victimization via Identity Theft

When you’re writing a character, it’s important to know why she is the way she is. Knowing her backstory is important to achieving this end, and one of the most impactful pieces of a character’s backstory is her emotional wound. This negative experience from the past is so intense that a character will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing that kind of pain and negative emotion again. As a result, certain behaviors, beliefs, and character traits will emerge.

Characters, like real people, are unique, and will respond to wounding events differently. The vast array of possible emotional wounds combined with each character’s personality gives you many options in terms of how your character will turn out. With the right amount of exploration, you should be able to come up with a character whose past appropriately affects her present, resulting in a realistic character that will ring true with readers. Understanding what wounds a protagonist bears will also help you plot out her arc, creating a compelling journey of change that will satisfy readers.

VICTIMIZATION VIA IDENTITY THEFT

Examples:

having to fight a charge on one’s record because a criminal identified himself as the character using false documents upon arrest
having one’s passport stolen or duplicated and used to bring a criminal or immigrant into the country illegally
having one’s bank account or investments drained by someone with false documents posing as the character
accruing credit card or other debts as a result of another using illegally obtained personal identity documents and numbers
being harassed by creditors, police or criminals because another person has assumed one’s identity
cyber theft of one’s online social accounts or doppelganger accounts created in one’s name to engage in cyber bullying or to ruin one’s reputation
having another obtain medical care using the character’s identity, racking up medical bills and affecting one’s ability to obtain insurance
having a friend or family member pose as oneself and then do something that leaves a lasting stain one one’s reputation
having one’s fingerprints or DNA obtained without consent and then used to implicate one in a crime
having one’s image stolen, photo-shopped into pictures and videos, and then shared online in a revenge attack to ruin one’s reputation
having one’s personal information (phone number, home address, email and social media links) paired with a fake account on an unsavoury sex, violence or predator site to invite harassment as a means of targeted bullying or revenge
having another hack one’s email or other personal communication to send out harmful emails, criminal threats or to pass on damaging/illegal information with the intent of  all activity being traced to the character as a scapegoat

Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: physiological needs, safety and security, esteem and recognition

False Beliefs That May Be Embraced As a Result of This Wound:

I can’t trust anyone but myself
I was targeted because I am weak
Trying to make a better life is useless because someone will just take it away from me
Control is an illusion; what I have can be taken from me at any time
People don’t respect me because I am not worthy of it

Positive Attributes That May Result: aware, cautious, conservative, discreet, scrupulous, structured, watchful

Negative Traits That May Result: biased, cagey, close-mouthed, controlling, cynical, deceptive, guarded, hostile, insecure, obsessive, paranoid, unsociable, secretive

Resulting Fears:

fear of being used or exploited
fear of losing everything one has built
fear of financial ruin
fear of making a mistake and misplacing one’s trust in the wrong person

Possible Habits That May Emerge:

avoiding technology and information-gathering processes
stashing money in hiding places rather than risking it to the bank
obsessively changing one’s passwords, bank accounts and switching credit cards
refusing to share personal information
shutting down social media accounts
over-reacting when friends or co-workers ask too many personal questions
mistrust and paranoia, leading one to question the motivations of others
always paying in cash
avoiding close relationships (if the identity theft was personal & hate-motivated)

TIP: If you need help understanding the impact of these factors, please read our introductory post on the Emotional Wound Thesaurus.

 

Image: Pixabay: Niekervlaan

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The Connection Between Emotional Wounds and Basic Needs

As many of you may know, we recently kicked off a new thesaurus. This one is all about Emotional Wounds and the formative impact they have on a character’s personality. It’s somewhat intuitive to see how a traumatic event might spawn specific fears or cause flaws or attributes to form. What isn’t quite so clear is the relationship between a wound and a character’s basic human needs. So I wanted to shed some light on that.

First of all, what are basic human needs? According to famed psychologist Abraham Maslow, there are 5 basic needs that every person needs in order to feel fulfilled. If a person—or, for our purposes, a character—is lacking any of these needs, they will set out to fill that void, beginning with the need that’s most vital. 

As the diagram below shows, the foundation of the pyramid represents our physiological needs because those are the most important; the need for food, water, air, and the like are obviously the most vital because without them we would cease to live. The next most important need is that of safety, followed by love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization.

So a character whose physiological needs aren’t being met is going to do whatever it takes to meet those needs. Once that goal is accomplished, she’ll move on to the next most pressing goal. 

As an example, consider Erin Brockovich, from the movie of the same name. At the beginning of the film, she has no job and is struggling to provide for her family; she’s missing the safety need. So she scours the classifieds, interviews pretty much everywhere, and tells potential employers whatever they want to hear in an effort to secure employment so she can take care of her family. With no luck. Then she gets creamed by the doctor in the Jaguar. Medical bills pile up and she becomes so desperate that she walks into her lawyer’s office and just starts working, telling everyone that he hired her. You can see her pride taking a hit when the lawyer confronts her and, in obvious embarrassment, she quietly pleads with him not to make her beg for a job.

This is the power of basic needs. When one is missing, it affects a character’s behavior and pushes her to do things she never would have done otherwise. Knowing which needs your character is missing can help you to write her believably because you’ll know what’s driving her on a primal level. 

So what do emotional wounds have to do with this? Angela has written an excellent post that explains the wounding event; if you’re looking for more information on what that is or need some guidance on choosing the right one for your character, please check that out. Once you’ve chosen an appropriate wounding event, the next step is identifying which needs have been compromised because of it.

To clarify this, let’s look at a girl who was bullied repeatedly about her looks. Because of this bullying, her esteem is removed; the abuse diminishes both her view of herself and her perception of how other people see her. Even after the bullying is done, she still feels the pain associated with the loss of her esteem and will subconsciously take steps to meet that need or make sure that it isn’t threatened again. Maybe she’ll throw herself into education, sports, or the arts as a means of gaining recognition for herself, since she feels unable to compete physically. Perhaps she’ll become overly flirtatious or promiscuous, seeking attention from others as a way of feeling desirable. She might even become a bully herself, valuing her power over others because it brings a measure of respect from her peers.

See how wounds and basic needs are related? The former inevitably impacts the latter. So when you’re looking into possible emotional wounds for your character, always take into account the needs that have been diminished or removed because of those wounds. This information will help you to create and write characters who make sense and resonate with readers.

The post The Connection Between Emotional Wounds and Basic Needs appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS™.

Emotional Wounds Thesaurus Entry: A Parent’s Abandonment

When you’re writing a character, it’s important to know why she is the way she is. Knowing her backstory is important to achieving this end, and one of the most impactful pieces of a character’s backstory is her emotional wound. This negative experience from the past is so intense that a character will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing that kind of pain and negative emotion again. As a result, certain behaviors, beliefs, and character traits will emerge.

Characters, like real people, are unique, and will respond to wounding events differently. The vast array of possible emotional wounds combined with each character’s personality gives you many options in terms of how your character will turn out. With the right amount of exploration, you should be able to come up with a character whose past appropriately affects her present, resulting in a realistic character that will ring true with readers. Understanding what wounds a protagonist bears will also help you plot out her arc, creating a compelling journey of change that will satisfy readers.

A Parent’s Abandonment

Examples:

Being abandoned as an infant (on a doorstep, in a dumpster, on the side of the road, etc.)
One’s parents dying during a child’s formative years
A parent giving up his/her rights and turning the child over to the state
Being left with relatives for long periods of time with little communication from one’s parent
Being left alone as a young child to fend for oneself
Having a parent who frequently leaves for long periods of time without warning or apology
Being subjected to a life of foster care when one’s parent is imprisoned
Living with a parent who suffers from mental illness or another disability that renders them unable to adequately care for others

Basic Needs That May Be Compromised By This Wound: love and belonging, safety and security, physiological needs

Lies That May Be Embraced As a Result of This Wound:

No one wants to be with me.
I need to push others away before they have a chance to leave me.
There’s something wrong with me; that’s why people leave me.
It’s only a matter of time until he leaves me.
People are inherently unreliable.
I’d rather be alone than be rejected again.
I can’t trust anyone but myself.

Positive Attributes That May Result: cautious, empathetic, loyal, kind, protective

Negative Traits That May Result: apathetic, callous, cynical, humorless, insecure, inhibited, manipulative, needy, oversensitive, rebellious, resentful, subservient, withdrawn,

Resulting Fears:

Fear of abandonment
Fear that there’s something wrong with oneself that makes it impossible to be loved
Fear of “normal” relationships where abandonment isn’t a possibility (due to abandonment being one’s norm)
Fear of inadvertently driving others away
Fear of never being truly loved and accepted

Possible Habits That May Emerge:

Distrusting authority figures
Maintaining shallow relationships
Abandoning others before they can abandon the victim
Sabotaging budding relationships
Engaging in unhealthy relationships out of a need for love
Difficulty setting healthy boundaries
Becoming clingy and needy
Becoming possessive of others
Becoming obsessed or paranoid; demanding frequent proof of someone’s love
Frequently transitioning out of situations where relationships are being formed (jobs, schools, churches, neighborhoods, etc.)
Isolating oneself; becoming a loner
Not committing to anything
Not following through on responsibilities
Becoming fiercely independent
Pursuing people who aren’t likely to return one’s affections

TIP: If you need help understanding the impact of these factors, please read our introductory post on the Emotional Wound Thesaurus. 

*Photo Credit: Rega Photography @ Creative Commons

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Critiques 4 U!

Kidlets enjoying the beach

CONTEST CLOSED!

People, I am SO EXCITED! My son finishes pre-school this week, which means I’ll only have to drive back-and-forth to one school everyday instead of two, like I’ve been doing all year long. My daughter will be done next week, and then….SUMMER VACATION! This equates to a little less work getting done each day, but it also means more sleep and trips to the beach and NOT DRIVING AROUND ALL DAY! Can’t wait!

I’m sure some of you are cursing me right now, since snow is probably still falling and you’re having to shoo penguins out of your yard. To make it up to you, how about some first page critiques?

If you’re working on a first page and would like some objective feedback, leave a comment that includes: 

1) your email address


2) your story’s genre (no erotica, please)
3) the intended audience
~ONLY ENTRIES THAT FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS WILL BE CONSIDERED~ 

Three commenters’ names will be randomly drawn and posted tomorrow. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll offer my feedback. Best of luck!

The post Critiques 4 U! appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS™.

Emotional Wounds Entry: Watching A Loved One Die

When you’re writing a character, it’s important to know why she is the way she is. Knowing her backstory is important to achieving this end, and one of the most impactful pieces of a character’s backstory is her emotional wound. This negative experience from the past is so intense that a character will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing that kind of pain and negative emotion again. As a result, certain behaviors, beliefs, and character traits will emerge.

Characters, like real people, are unique, and will respond to wounding events differently. The vast array of possible emotional wounds combined with each character’s personality gives you many options in terms of how your character will turn out. With the right amount of exploration, you should be able to come up with a character whose past appropriately affects her present, resulting in a realistic character that will ring true with readers. Understanding what wounds a protagonist bears will also help you plot out her arc, creating a compelling journey of change that will satisfy readers.

 Watching A Loved One Die

Examples:

trying to help one’s passenger in the aftermath of a car accident
at the bedside of one who is terminally ill, at home or in a hospice
witnessing a friend’s hit and run as she crosses the street
on a family outing at the lake (a drowning or boating accident)
offering end-of-life comfort after a fatal fall (rock climbing, home repairs, a balcony that gives away, etc.)
finding a loved one alive after a disaster (earthquake, tornado, etc.) but being too late
being helpless to stop a violent act (a mugging or stabbing, a hate crime beating, etc.)
while on duty (a soldier in one’s unit, a fellow police office gunned down, etc.)
in a random accident (electrocuted by faulty wiring, a quadding accident, etc.)
in a house fire (being unable to reach a loved one in time)

Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization

False Beliefs That May Be Embraced As a Result of This Wound:

I failed when I was needed most
I should have died instead, he/she was worthy than I will ever be
If I care about someone, I will lose them
I am toxic to the people around me (if blame comes into play)
I don’t deserve to live
Loving someone will end in pain
*God is not real or this would not have happened (*rejecting one’s faith only if religious)
If I am not constantly vigilant, other loved ones will be taken from me

Positive Attributes That May Result:  cautious, observant, doting, farsighted, focused, knowledgeable, maternal, meticulous, practical, self-reliant, vigilant

Negative Traits That May Result: paranoid, anxious, clingy, aloof, guarded, hesitant, moody, needy, nervous, neurotic, perfectionist, resentful, self-destructive, unassertive, withdrawn, worrywart, irresponsibility

Resulting Fears:

fear of abandonment through death
fear of dying
fear of becoming too emotionally connected to people
fears associated with the manner of how one died (if a loved one drowned in a riptide, one may become terrified of swimming or water, for example)
fear of causing loved ones harm (if self-blame is a factor, real or imagined)
fear of failing those around oneself, fear of responsibility

Possible Habits That May Emerge:

avoiding the people who were involved in the accident or around at the time of death
distancing oneself from friends and family
alternatively, becoming clingy, protective or obsessive about a loved one’s whereabouts
needing to plan and understand all risks before committing to an action or decision
avoiding anything spontaneous and becoming very risk-averse
alternatively, behaving in self-destructive ways or being reckless  from a desire to “prove” one is not worthy of living
avoiding future responsible for the welfare of others by embracing irresponsibility
throwing oneself into work to avoid dealing with grief
becoming mission-oriented, seeking justice, vengeance or restitution for the death (investigating, raising public awareness, suing parties involved, etc.)

TIP: If you need help understanding the impact of these factors, please read our introductory post on the Emotional Wound Thesaurus.

The post Emotional Wounds Entry: Watching A Loved One Die appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS™.