Ellen Gable's Blog, page 133
March 24, 2011
In Name Only Facebook Page
Check out the new Facebook page for my novel, In Name Only:
If you're on Facebook, please consider "liking" it!
March 23, 2011
NFP: The Sacredness of Sex
Today's post was written by Dana Doyle, who blogs at Catholic Working Mom. Thanks so much, Dana, for sharing your journey to NFP!
My husband and I have not always practiced Natural Family Planning. When we were married in 1989, we attended marriage preparation classes sponsored by our archdiocese. NFP was never mentioned. At a couple's retreat, prior to our August wedding, there was an NFP pamphlet on one of the tables in the group meeting room; however, attention was never drawn to this resource. I remember sneaking into the room while it was unoccupied to take a brochure, feeling embarrassed by the topic.
Being a young Catholic, I thought that birth control was one of those issues in the Church where one was free to make his/her own decision. As I have become educated about my faith, I learned that this view on contraception as being a "personal choice" could not be farther from the truth. When one of my students recently asked, "How many of the Church teachings do I have to believe to still be considered Catholic?" "All of them," I answered. I believe this to be true.
Well-meaning people made sure that my fiancé and myself had "precautions" packed in our luggage for the wedding night. It was billed as the "responsible" thing to do.
Years later, laying on a table in the operating room, having just given birth to my second child, my obstetrician asked me if I wanted my tubes tied. When I didn't answer, he said, "This is your last chance. Speak now." He was asking me if I wanted to be "fixed!" I thought to myself, "Nothing is broken." It kind of put a damper on an otherwise perfect moment. I had respected my doctor as a skilled physician with a wonderful, supportive bedside manner. He was also a well-known member of one of the communities' Catholic churches. This confused me greatly.
It wasn't until I entered my thirties that I began searching for truth myself. It was then that I stumbled upon a cassette tape called, "Contraception, Why Not?" by Janet Smith. This professor clearly explained the Church's teachings on the sanctity of marriage, as well as God's plan for marriage and sex. She explained the two-fold purpose of intercourse between a husband and wife – how the unitive and procreative aspects must both be present in order for intercourse to be that sacred renewal of the sacrament of marriage that it is intended to be. I was stunned. I had never thought of sex as being sacred! I asked my husband if he would mind trying NFP with me. He agreed, and we've never looked back.
The wonderful thing about becoming aware of your body's signs of fertility, as a woman, is that it cannot only help you to avoid pregnancy, but it can help you to become pregnant, too. Many people think that if they use NFP that they will have lots and lots of children – that does not have to be true. Due to health issues and financial limitations my husband and I prayerfully decided to avoid pregnancy for several years after our second child was born. With NFP, though, we say to God that He has the final word about the matter. We do not lock Him out of the bedroom. God can be trusted in ALL things. He loves us completely, and knows what is best for us. Can He be trusted with our fertility? Absolutely! He created it!
If you haven't exactly embraced the Church's teaching on contraception in the past, please think about trusting God with your fertility this Lent. NFP has some terrific side effects. It builds a deep respect and trust between married partners. A couple practicing NFP will naturally develop the cardinal virtue of temperance. If, after prayerful discernment, they choose to avoid pregnancy for the time being, they must exercise self-control on the days when the woman is fertile. It may seem that it would be a long, frustrating stretch. In reality, however, it usually amounts to about eight to ten days each cycle for the average couple. This period of abstinence requires placing the other person's well being above your own. This is what true love is all about! It is my prayer that you will give NFP prayerful consideration. This "Yes," to God and to His gift of life will surely bring abundant graces and blessings to your marriage!
Photo and text copyright 2011 Dana Doyle
March 22, 2011
Catholic Writers Conference Online
This week the much-anticipated Catholic Writers Conference Online is being held. Yesterday, I attended chat sessions on Blogging (Sarah Reinhard), Romance (Tanya Stowe) and Self-Publishing (Susan Stewart). Today, I will be giving two chat presentations on "Amazon Kindle" and "Self-Publishing," as well as attending other sessions.
The Catholic Writers' Conference Online is an annual event where writers of all levels and interests can learn from experienced authors. Topics cover everything from idea generation to publishing; plot to marketing. The conference regularly has over 300 attendees and around 50 presentations–and it's free!
The conference is held via chats and forums at the Catholic Writers Conference website. Sponsored by the Catholic Writer's Guild, the online conference is open to writers of all levels who registered before March 1st.
"Each year, we have about 300 writers and around 50 presenters participate," said organizer, Karina Fabian. "In addition to presentations and workshops covering everything from idea generation to marketing your published work, we have crit groups and pitch sessions with Catholic and secular publishers. "
Although the conference is offered free of charge, donations are accepted; proceeds will go toward future conferences. Non-Catholics may attend, as long as they respect Catholic beliefs and the conference's Catholic focus.
March 21, 2011
NFP Humor
Our latest addition to Family Foundations Magazine.
Cartoon copyright 2011 James and Ellen Hrkach
March 19, 2011
NFP: The Antidote
My new column on Catholic Mom is entitled "NFP: The Antidote:"
The contraceptive mentality is a prevailing attitude in our current society which says "I want control over my body and my fertility," and "Sex is only for fun, not babies."
This particular issue caused our first heated argument when James and I were engaged many years ago. (See previous column NFP: No Holding Back)
Canadian singer and composer, Mark Mallett, writes, "Contraception is like a condom over the heart." Use of contraception is a mortal sin (refer to the Catechism of the Catholic Church 2368-2370) and separates a couple spiritually and physically during their most intimate embrace.
We are all called to love as Christ loves. Conjugal love is meant to image the free, total, faithful and fruitful love of Christ. Contraception violates not just one, but all four aspects of marital love.
Many people say, "I don't believe that contraception is wrong, so it's fine for me to use it." However, Christopher West writes in his book Theology of the Body for Beginners (p. 105): "Even if a couple is innocent in this regard (culpability), contraception will still have its damaging effect on their relationship. For example, if I drink a cup of poison, but don't know it's poison, I…am not culpable for my own death. But it will still kill me. Whether I think it's poison or not has no bearing whatsoever on whether it is poison or not."
To read the rest:
http://catholicmom.com/2011/03/19/nfp-the-antidote/
Copyright 2011 Ellen Gable Hrkach
March 17, 2011
Common Mis-conceptions About the Church and Sex
My recent post at Catholic Exchange, "Common Misconceptions About the Church and Sex:"
http://catholicexchange.com/2011/03/17/149272/
In today's secular culture, there are some common misconceptions (pun intended) regarding the Church's teachings on sex and marriage. I believe the following attitudes (in italics below) illustrate that many modern Catholics, young and old alike, are poorly catechized, especially in this important area.
The Church is preoccupied with sex. Actually, it is the world which is preoccupied with sex. Several popes have written encyclicals and the Church has issued statements and teachings more in response to the world being so preoccupied. Turn on any television channel, look through any DVD store or surf the internet to find out that sex/pornography is a lucrative financial commodity.
The Church has no business in our bedrooms. In Familiaris Consortio, John Paul II wrote, "In the field of conjugal morality, the Church is Teacher and Mother and acts as such."
Let's consider for a moment that God created all of us. And let's also consider that each one of us was created us through our parents having sex. God is there in the bedroom with us. We can invite him to have a deeper participation in our sexual life by praying before sex (although I have heard people audibly groan when my husband and I have said this during our talks), by being open to life (never using artificial contraception or contraceptive behaviors like withdrawal) and by always putting our spouse's needs ahead of our own. Inviting God to a fuller, richer, deeper relationship within the sexual embrace makes the experience not only more spiritually enriching, it makes it naturally more pleasurable and more emotionally satisfying.
To read the rest,
http://catholicexchange.com/2011/03/17/149272/
Copyright 2011 Ellen Gable Hrkach
March 16, 2011
Come My Beloved Website
"Come My Beloved: Inspiring Stories of Catholic Courtship" now has a web page!
I'm working on the book trailer, which hopefully will be uploaded within the next few weeks.
Reviews will be added as they come in.
March 15, 2011
Catholic Media Promotion Day
In celebration of "Catholic Media Promotion Day," here is a non-exhaustive list of my favorites in the Catholic Media:
Three blogs/websites:
Three Catholic books:
Love and Responsibility by JP II
Catechism of the Catholic Church
The Holy Bible
Three podcasts:
The Catholic Revolver with Jerry
Three random favorite Catholic things online:
Books I'll be reviewing on Amazon:
Infinite Space, Infinite God II by Karina Fabian
Arms of Love by Carmen Marcoux
Surrender by Carmen Marcoux
Join in the celebration and share your favorites in Catholic media!
March 14, 2011
Contraception: Fatal to the Faith
The late Fr. John Hardon wrote an excellent article back in 1998 on the devastating spiritual consequences of contraception.
http://www.therealpresence.org/archives/Chastity/Chastity_004.htm
He writes:
"This must seem like a strange title, "Contraception-Fatal to the Faith." What does the title mean? Does it mean that to believe in contraception is contrary to the faith? Or does it mean that Christian believers may not practice contraception? Or does it mean that those who practice contraception are in danger of losing their faith?
What do we mean by the title and what is the thesis of this presentation? We mean that professed Catholics who practice contraception either give up the practice of contraception or they give up their Catholic faith."
And later…
"Contraception as a general practice is a recent innovation in the western nominally Christian society. Its rise is partly explained by the medical discovery of drugs which either prevent conception, or which destroy the unborn child in its mother's womb.
But the rise of contraception is mainly the result of a widespread propaganda by women like Margaret Sanger and the powerful forces of population control…"
And, finally…
"It has been correctly said that Humanae Vitae divides the Catholic Church into two periods of history. The Church will survive only among those who believe that contraception is deadly to both Christianity and the promise of a heavenly reward. Normally thirty years is a short time. But in this case it has been long enough to prove who are still truly Catholics. They are those who believe that the Pope is the Vicar of Christ. "If you love me," Jesus said, "keep my commandments." The single most tested commandment of the Savior today is that contraception is fatal to the true faith and to eternal life."
To read the article in its entirety, click on the link above.
March 13, 2011
Support Catholic Media on March 15
This Tuesday, March 15th, is "Catholic Media Promotion Day." Greg Willits of The Catholics Next Door and The Rosary Army came up with this creative and brilliant way of supporting and promoting Catholic Media.
I heard about it through Lisa Hendey of Catholic Mom.
First, I encourage everyone to go to the Facebook page and "like" it:
https://www.facebook.com/promotecatholicism
Then…on March 15th, using your blog, podcast or Facebook, list your favorite three blogs, three podcasts, three other media and three random Catholic things online. Once you've done that, post your link at the "Catholic Media Promotion Day" facebook page.
It's also recommended that you go to iTunes and leave at least three positive written reviews for various Catholic podcasts and 3 positive written reviews for Catholic mobile applications.
Last…but certainly not least…go to Amazon and leave three positive reviews for three Catholic books you like (hint, hint…I have two Catholic books on Amazon: links are at the side bar…)
Please join with other bloggers, writers and Catholics worldwide to participate in this worthy endeavor!
