Ellen Gable's Blog, page 104

Teaching NFP Has Enriched Our Marriage

My latest post at Amazing Catechists:

We have been teaching Natural Family Planning (or NFP) for nearly 28 years. We have volunteered much of our time preparing and teaching classes over the past 28 years, as well as lecturing to marriage preparation courses and youth groups. However, I’d like to share what we have gotten out of it.

Admittedly, when we first decided many years ago to become NFP teachers after only two years of marriage, we thought about what we would give, not what we would receive. We had no idea of the abundant fruit it would bear.

First, we have made so many wonderful friends through teaching NFP. Most of our close friends are couples we have taught over the years.

One particular couple was considering sterilization when they met us 20 years ago. Having four children born one right after the other, they were being pressured by friends and relatives into having a permanent procedure done. We taught them NFP and they used it for many years. Eight years ago, they welcomed another child into their family.

Second, we have been able to evangelize in a way that has allowed friends and relatives to take a second look at NFP. Our many contracepting friends and relatives have seen what NFP has done for our marriage. They see a couple with a loving, sacramental relationship, with God as the third partner. And while they may not ever use NFP, they cannot argue with the success of our marriage.

As well, we have convinced some of these friends and relatives that contraception is not only physically unhealthy, but also spiritually unhealthy. One day we were at a friend’s anniversary party and a woman asked how we knew the couple celebrating their anniversary. “We taught them NFP.”

“What’s NFP,” asked the woman. This started a 45-minute conversation on the benefits and morality of NFP. At the end of the conversation, the woman told us to sign her up for our next class.

Third, teaching NFP is a good example to our children because they are seeing us give our time freely to other couples. They see us doing something to try to “change the world.” When our oldest son was a teenager, he came with us to a pro-life conference. We were speaking on the “Joys of NFP.” Later, he asked us, “What can I do to change the world? What can I do to help make the world a better place?’

“What brought this on? Why do you ask?”

“Because you and Dad teach NFP, do chastity talks, go on pro-life marches, help out with marriage preparation. I mean, you do so much. I’d like to do something like that.”

I was shocked that he had even noticed.

The rewards we have received through friendships, evangelization and example to our children are priceless.

Teaching NFP is one of the most time-consuming things we have ever set out to do. And although there are frustrating times, it is definitely one of the most satisfying decisions we have ever made.

We now teach NFP online (photo above). If you’re interested in learning NFP or in teaching it, email us at info(at)fullquiverpublishing.com

Photo and text copyright Ellen Gable Hrkach

Sunday Snippets – June 3

Please join me and other Catholic bloggers at RAnn’s Place for Sunday Snippets, where Catholic bloggers share their posts from the previous week.

Here are my posts:

Marital Texting



Growing Up in God’s Image – Excerpt Full Quiver Publishing’s newest book will be released soon. Growing Up in God’s Image by Carolyn Smith is a book on how to talk to your kids about sex.

7 Quick Takes Friday- Favorite Gifts During this post, I shared seven of my favorite wedding and anniversary gifts.

Copyright 2012 Ellen Gable Hrkach

7 Quick Takes Friday – Favorite Gifts

Please join me and other Catholic bloggers at Jen’s Conversion Diary for 7 Quick Takes Friday.

We’re technically in June now (and no longer in our anniversary month) but I figure we’re close enough, so I’d like to share seven of my favorite wedding and anniversary gifts over the years (in no particular order).

1. Embroidered “Life is Fragile: Handle with Prayer” Picture

We received this beautiful framed embroidered picture as a wedding gift. James’ cousin spent hours working on this awesome gift for us. It has remained in our living room in a prominent place for the past 30 years.

2. Roomba

For our 25th anniversary, my mother and mother-in-law bought a robotic vacuum cleaner for us (knowing that I didn’t often vacuum). In the beginning, it was more valuable to us as entertainment for the kids and somehow or other, I lost track of it. Last year, I saw a commercial on TV for it and wondered where it had ended up. I found it a short while later when I was cleaning out the storage area. I began using it and have come to really appreciate it. I mainly use it for the kitchen floor and I must admit that it does an amazing job. It only takes a few minutes of preparing to make sure the chairs, cat bowls etc are brought up off the floor. It takes about an hour to vacuum our large kitchen, but I can accomplish other tasks while it’s vacuuming.

3. Prayer Card

In a previous post, I mentioned the prayer card that my sister and the other Dominican sisters sent for our anniversary. It continues to hold a special place in our home and in our hearts.

4. Papal Blessing

Also for our 25th wedding anniversary, our friends, Chris and Brenda, enlisted the help of a mutual friend (a priest we both know) to get us a papal blessing. This also has a prominent place in our living room.

5. 25th Anniversary Homily

When we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, a close priest friend of ours con-celebrated the Mass with our parish priest. In his homily, he said, “I note especially five wonderful persons who were not present on May 22, 1982: Josh, Ben, Tim, Adam and Paul. I don’t need to tell you too much about that evening when your mom and dad publicly vowed their love. You are the first witnesses of that love. It bought you to life and it continues to nurture you to maturity. Through the years, you have seen your parents day by day striving (and I like to add “struggling”) to be true to each other and to love and honor each other in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health...”

6. Wedding Song

For our wedding, James wrote a song called “Forever Amen.” The lyrics are included in my novel, Emily’s Hope. Below is a photo of James and our friend, Pat, singing: first at our wedding, then at our 25th anniversary celebration.

7. The Last Supper (Santa Maria delle Grazie, Milan, Italy)

Five years ago, when we were in Europe chaperoning 40 students, our fellow chaperones, Chris and Belinda, took us on a surprise trip to Milan to see Leonardo’s The Last Supper. This was not on the agenda for our trip, so we took a cab to Santa Maria delle Grazie. Upon arriving, we discovered that the tickets needed to be purchased three weeks in advance. Chris tried (and even begged) but the man behind the counter would not acquiesce. “Sorry,” he said (in Italian), “No tickets for today.” We stood outside the church trying to decide what to do. Our friend made one more attempt, with no luck. Disappointed, we asked the cab to wait for us while we took a few photos outside of the church. As we were getting into the cab, a man came running up to us and said, “Professori?”

“Yes, yes!” Chris said, now looking hopeful, “We’re teachers!”

“Come with me,” the man said in a thick Italian accent.

The man proceeded to take us to the ticket counter. We gave him our money and he purchased our tickets, then he accompanied us to wait with a group of Japanese tourists. As he walked with us, we kept thanking him for getting us into the chapel.

When we arrived in the room with the Last Supper, I could hardly catch my breath, it was so breathtaking. The chapel was darkened and quiet, the beautiful painting by Leonardo illuminated by soft lighting.

Seeing The Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci was a moment I’ll treasure and I’m happy that James and I were able to experience it together during the year of our 25th anniversary.

For more Quick Takes, head over to Conversion Diary.

Photos and text copyright 2012 Ellen Gable Hrkach

Growing Up In God’s Image – Excerpt

The following is an excerpt from Full Quiver’s upcoming publication on how to talk to your kids about sex, “Growing Up in God’s Image,” by Carolyn Smith. This is the author’s introduction at the beginning:

“To each individual the manifestation of the Spirit is given for some benefit.”(1 Corinthians 12:7)

It’s been many years since that first talk with my oldest daughter about the facts of life, but I remember it very well. Like most moms, I was a bit nervous and consternated over what to say. Actually, I remember resenting that I had to talk with her so soon. I felt pressured because many of the children at school were already “knowledgeable.” Hearing something from a classmate was the last thing I wanted to happen. I didn’t want her to hear about “sex.” I wanted her to hear about the beauty of God’s gift of love. I was getting ready to tell her about a very special and holy love, the love that existed between her father and me. My husband, Jim, is truly God’s gift to me. So I went to the Source of the gift and asked Him, “Lord, what do you want me to say to her?”

I felt certain God wanted me to start at the beginning with Him. After all, He is Love itself. All love, especially this love, comes from Him. God created us to love Him and to love each other; therefore we should talk about His creation of Adam and Eve and His plan for marriage from the very beginning. What we have today is nothing new. It has existed since the beginning of time. And, in the One that we image, it has always existed! Thus, this theme became the beginning of the “facts of life” talk.

The second theme came to me many years later while away with my husband for a weekend. The gift came during Mass between the consecration and the communion. After Mass, I couldn’t wait to tell Jim! It left me absolutely in awe that God has given to married people a love that resembles His own in the Eucharist!

I was then able to share this with my fifth daughter, (and the sixth, seventh, and eighth) when I talked to her about the “facts of life.” Her reaction was everything a mom could hope for. She looked up at me and said in wonder, “Wow, THAT is really neat!”

The third theme talks about marriage as a sacrament. What God intended from the very beginning of creation was elevated to a new level of sanctity by His Son. God is intimately present to every couple through the sacrament. He is the very Center of their life and love.

Advanced Review Copies available upon request. Email me: info(at)fullquiverpublishing.com

Copyright 2012 Carolyn J. Smith and Full Quiver Publishing

Marital Texting

copyright 2012 Full Quiver Publishing/James & Ellen Hrkach

Sunday Snippets – May 27

Please join me and other Catholic Bloggers at RAnn’s Place for Sunday Snippets where we share posts from the previous week.

Here are my posts:

Game Over

7 Quick Takes Friday – Writing News

Photo and text copyright Ellen Gable Hrkach

7 Quick Takes Friday – Writing News

Please join me and other Catholic bloggers at Conversion Diary for 7 Quick Takes Friday.

1. I’m nearly finished writing the first draft of “A Subtle Grace,” which is the sequel to , my second novel. I love writing historical fiction because I enjoy researching history. This particular book, however, has been a difficult one to write because I’m dealing with many challenging issues: attempted rape, stalking, accidental death etc. When I’m finished the first draft, I will upload the cover photo and possibly an excerpt. A Subtle Grace is scheduled to be released sometime in 2013.

2. Two of my novels, Stealing Jenny and In Name Only continue to be in the top five of Amazon’s Religious and Liturgical Drama category.

3. We are close to releasing Full Quiver’s newest book, Growing Up in God’s Image, which is a book on how to talk to your kids about sex. Author Patti Armstrong recently sent this wonderful review: This book guides parents to gradually expand a child’s understanding of life beginning with how the love of family reflects the love of God. Teaching the facts of life fully demands including the spiritual. Carolyn does a beautiful job explaining the physical changes that occur during puberty while including the responsibility to be true to God’s plan and purpose for our bodies. The life lessons are presented in clear language and will enrich not just the children, but the parents also reading this book as an aid. Thanks, Patti!

4. Last week’s 7 Quick Takes prompted more comments than I’ve ever had on this blog! Thanks to everyone for the wonderful anniversary wishes! We had a great anniversary and, to celebrate, I posted a short retrospective video on Facebook.

5. Disappointment… Two months ago, a writer from a major Catholic magazine contacted me and asked for a copy of Stealing Jenny for an article she was writing on Catholic fiction. She explained that she was reading many Catholic novels and she would let me know whether my novel would be mentioned. A week or so later, she emailed me to tell me that Stealing Jenny would indeed be one of the nine novels featured in her article and she asked for a cover photo to accompany the article. This magazine has a somewhat varying (and large) target audience so I was elated that Stealing Jenny might find some new readers. Imagine my surprise a few days ago when this writer posted a message on one of my Facebook groups listing the eight other writers whose novels would be mentioned in the article. Thinking it was an oversight, I emailed her and asked her why my book wasn’t included. She responded by saying that mention of my book must have been “cut for space requirements.” While I’m very disappointed, I do understand that, given that the majority of the authors included were female…and given that there were two other suspense novels (written by male authors) mentioned, my book was probably the logical one to be cut.

6. I’ve also ventured into the business of editing. I’ve now edited five manuscripts (working on two more as we speak) and I am thoroughly enjoying this facet of the publishing/writing world! I’m only able to take on one or two manuscripts per month, but if you’re interested, email me info(at)fullquiverpublishing.com and I’ll let you know my availability.

7. Planning to self-publish? Want someone to help guide you through the maze of self-publishing? I’m now also a book coach/self-publishing consultant. For more information, feel free to email me info(at)fullquiverpublishing.com for more information and rates.

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen’s Conversion Diary.

Copyright 2012 Ellen Gable Hrkach

Game Over

Sunday Snippets – May 20

Join me and other Catholic bloggers at RAnn’s Place for Sunday Snippets where we share posts from the previous week.

My husband and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage on Tuesday! It’s hard to believe we’ve been married that long.

Here are my posts:

Saints and Scripture Sunday – Happy Mother’s Day

Awards Contest for Self-Published Authors: Are They Really Worth It? (latest post for Catholic Writers Guild)

Catholic Writers To Hold Conference in Texas Press Release for the Catholic Writers Guild



Down to Earth (latest cartoon from Family Foundations)

7 Quick Takes Friday – Quotes on Marriage

Cartoon copyright Full Quiver Publishing/James and Ellen Hrkach

7 Quick Takes Friday – Favorite Marriage Quotes

Please join me and other Catholic bloggers at Conversion Diary for 7 Quick Takes Friday.

Since my husband and I will be celebrating our 30th anniversary this weekend, I’d like to share seven of my favorite quotes on marriage.

1. “Intense love does not measure; it just gives.” (Blessed Teresa of Calcutta) This quote so perfectly illustrates the sacrificial love of marriage and, indeed, of any relationship. I see this illustrated every day when my husband goes above and beyond to sacrifice for our family. I try to live this quote: every morning I wake up and think, “What can I do to make my husband’s life easier today?”

2. “Marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with whom they make up a sole family – a domestic church. ” (Blessed John Paul II). Love is not merely a feeling; it is a choice. Every day I have an opportunity to choose to love my spouse. Sometimes it isn’t easy, but it’s always worthwhile.

3. “Be not afraid.” (Blessed John Paul II) As shown in the photo below, I certainly wasn’t afraid of what the future would hold for us. I was too happy at that moment to think of future difficulties and challenges. I had no idea what the next 30 years would bring. All married couples will face hardships and challenges. But they will also experience great joy to balance any hardships. Of course, couples who enter into a sacramental marriage (and who live their faith) have the additional graces to assist them in handling any challenges and hardships.

4. “The two shall become one.” (Genesis 2:24) There’s no better illustration of our unity and oneness than our children who are the walking “representations of our love.” (cr Blessed John Paul II).

5. “Be fruitful; multiply.” (Genesis 1:28)

6. “How can I ever express the happiness of the marriage that is joined together by the Church strengthened by an offering, sealed by a blessing, announced by angels and ratified by the Father? …How wonderful the bond between two believers with a single hope, a single desire, a single observance, a single service! They are both brethren and both fellow-servants; there is no separation between them in spirit or flesh; in fact they are truly two in one flesh and where the flesh is one, one is the spirit.”(24) Tertullian (cr FC Blessed John Paul II) I love this quote from Tertullian, who exquisitely describes the spiritual and physical joys of the one flesh experience of Christian marriage.

7. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Romans 4:6) Prayer is such an important part of a sacramental marriage. But having people pray for you is also essential. In that regard, I’d like to share my favorite anniversary gift: a beautiful card that my sister and some of the other Dominican Novices lovingly made for us. Each sister signed her name to one day in May with a note below saying that “In honor of this occasion, we will offer 30 days (plus one) of prayer with a different sister praying for you each day this month.” Wow.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary.

Text and photos copyright 2012 Ellen Gable Hrkach