Ellen Gable's Blog, page 108

The Spiritual Malaise Behind Contraception – Guest Post

My thanks to Barb Schoeneberger for allowing me to reprint this post from her website. She includes many essential links in this beautifully written essay:

In recent weeks the HHS mandate has brought to the fore our First Amendment rights as Americans. Since the mandate is about forcing the provision of "free" contraception on all sorts of entities, and since the Catholic bishops of the United States seem to have finally woken up to the real agenda of the Obama administration, quite a lot of hooey concerning Catholics and contraception has been bruited about in the media. The religious liberty issue, has opened the door to frank discussions on contraception, an extremely touchy topic in the Church, and one we just can't ignore if we care about our faith and coincidentally, the future of our country.

I'm one of those introverts Colleen Spiro wrote about in her funny post, Thinking Out Loud. When I'm faced with something as monumentally shattering as the blocking of my first amendment rights of religious liberty, and as monumentally rebellious as the tone of contracepting Catholics in the opinion-sphere, I have to take weeks to chew on the whole thing to sort out my feelings before I jump into the fray. Most of what has been written to uphold Church teaching on contraception lately has been good and truthful, but, in my opinion, unsatisfactory in changing the hearts of so many Catholics who are rebelling against it.

You can learn a lot from Father Mitch Pacwa's good article in the National Catholic Register: Abortion, Contraception, and the Church Fathers. And our Catholic Sacred Tradition comes from the Apostles and Christ who were Jews, so we can go back to the Old Testament to find out how God felt about contraception in Genesis 38:9-10 where He slew Onan for practicing coitus interruptus, calling contraception "detestable." However, Father Pacwa's article, quoting the Bible, and reading blog posts about what Pope Paul VI wrote in Humanae Vitae pretty much amounts to spitting in the wind where committed Catholic contraceptors are concerned. That's because of the deep spiritual sickness behind the practice which makes a person blind and deaf to God's will.

How the contraceptive mentality grew in the Church

Although the battle against contraception is ages old as we see from the sources cited above, the bishops of the Church have a lot of damage to undo regarding their failure to teach unequivocally throughout the 20th century until now the whys and wherefores regarding the evils of contraception. The shocking open rebellion against Pope Paul VI's Humanae Vitae was a blatant sign of how fatally divorced Catholics at large, theologians, and those in religious life had become from seeking God's will in their own lives and a humble assent to the truths of the Catholic faith. This rebellion could not have happened if so many Catholics were not already well on their way to spiritual blindness.

Sandro Magister of Chiesa takes us closer to one aspect of how the contraceptive mentality began to grow in the 20th century Church when he writes "Ego te absolvo." The Catholic Route to Birth Control on September 8, 2010, and gives us more insight into how the whole "follow your conscience" thing got promoted without qualification or education on what a rightly formed conscience is.

In A Case of Conscience. Confessors and Contraception from September 15, 2010, he writes:

But then the guidelines of the hierarchy became more strict. Beginning with the 1931 encyclical by Pius XI Casti Connubii, confessors began to be told not to rely on "good faith" anymore, but to instruct the penitent on the gravity of the sin that he was committing…

…In contemporary practice, however, many priests continued to give absolution without inquiring too much into the behavior of spouses, counting on their "good faith."

I recommend reading both articles because they point us in the right direction – a problem of the heart. In "Ego te absolvo" Magister's illuminating introductory paragraph gets right to it:

"It is believed to be one of the most reliable proofs of the relentless advance of secularization: the contrast thought to have been created between Church teaching on contraception and the actual behavior of the population, including observant Catholics."

I spent many years not practicing my Faith at all, pretending God didn't exist, living as a secular humanist stuck on stupid. As I look into my own heart for the answer to why Catholics contracept and why many fight giving it up, I see the "diabolical disorientation" Sister Lucy of Fatima wrote about in numerous letters to priests and fellow religious and in books she has written.

Getting back to basics

To be a good Catholic one must assent to the teachings of the Church (CCC #892) which come from Sacred Scripture and Tradition whether or not we understand the whys behind a teaching. A corollary obligation is that we must study and learn our Faith, which is a life-long effort. As Father John Hardon, S.J. (RIP) said so often, "Catholics who just come to Church once a week and do nothing else will not be saved."

After much prayer and consideration, I believe I finally got what he was saying. Accompanying the assent to and study of the Faith is adhering to the laws of God and the Church while simultaneously developing an ever closer relationship with God. I don't think the two can be separated – assent and adherence on the one hand, and relationship with God on the other. I also don't think that priests and bishops can even get to first base with Catholic contraceptors without framing the subject within one of the most basic foundation stones of relationship with God: trust in Him.

Tomorrow in Changing Hearts on Contraception I'll take up what I believe to be the solution to counteracting the contraceptive mentality. It's not easy, is a long and arduous journey back from darkness, and requires the right use of our free will, but it is simple.

V. Praised be Jesus Christ!

R. Now and forever!

Again, thank you, Barb, for the beautifully written post!

Lessons in the Journey Book Review

Lessons in the Journey by first-time novelist Patrick Dawson is the hopeful and moving story of Elizabeth "Liz" Finch, a pediatric surgeon. At the beginning of the novel, she learns that her 14-year-old daughter has been shot and is not expected to live. The book is told mostly in flashbacks of Liz's life, lessons she's learned in her life's journey.

It is through these flashbacks that we become acquainted, not only with Liz, but with the other major characters in the story. We discover how Liz initially met her husband and their romance, how she became a mother. Like most of us, Liz is not a perfect human being. She has made both good choices and bad choices throughout her life. There have been sad moments as well as happy ones.

The other characters include Liz's husband (Kevin), their daughter (Mary Beth), her sister (Rachel), Anna, the black housekeeper, as well as Liz's parents and friends. I especially enjoyed the Catholic flavor of this novel: there are Holy Communions, Catholic weddings and Catholic funerals, and Natural Family Planning even makes an appearance when the priest shares with Liz a few quotes by John Paul II and some information on NFP.

I read this book while traveling on a plane and I have to say that it really made the trip go quickly. Dawson (a man) did an outstanding job of writing and creating the narrative voice of a woman.

Lessons in the Journey is an enjoyable read filled with believable characters. The author has a beautiful and engaging writing style which kept me turning the pages quickly. In flashbacks of Liz growing up, he captured well the feeling of the 60′s and 70′s. The ending was superb. The cover is eye-catching and nicely done.

Highly recommend!

The author is giving away a free Kindle copy to one of my readers. Leave a comment below (before Monday, April 9) to be entered!

Copyright 2012 Ellen Gable Hrkach

The Spiritual Consequences of Sterilization

My latest post at Amazing Catechists discusses the spiritual consequences of vasectomy and tubal ligation:

Last year, on one of the morning shows, a couple was asked to carry a camcorder around while they debated and discussed their decision to have a vasectomy. After the births of three boys — the youngest only a few months old — they made the decision to go ahead and have a permanent solution carried out because their plate was "full with three small boys." The segment showed the husband at the doctor's office having the procedure done. They were interviewed two months later and the wife said, they were "relieved," "felt the freedom of not having to worry about more children." The man said the operation was "quick and painless," "very easy," "great experience." And, just to convince all the viewers that vasectomy is the best decision a couple can ever make, the doctor stated that there were "no long-term side effects from vasectomy."

While I find that particular research suspect (i.e. there have been noted long-term side effects), these are not the worst side effects from vasectomy and tubal ligation. The most destructive are the spiritual repercussions. While contraception in itself separates a couple during marital relations, sterilization seeks to separate a couple permanently in their most intimate embrace and the spiritual consequences are far greater and more destructive than any of the physical side effects.

Case in point: we know of a couple who became sterilized after having a large number of children. They knew NFP, but they gave in to the pressure to become sterilized. A few years after the sterilization, however, one of their teenaged sons committed suicide. The year after their son died, they sent out letters to many in the Catholic community informing them that they had been involved in intensive spiritual counseling. Here's what they wrote:

"During the night before his death, while our son was downstairs writing his notes to us and spending his last hours in utter hopelessness, there were at least three times when we were awake. It seems that it would have been a simple matter for God to prompt one of us to go downstairs and discover the horrible tragedy that was threatening our son. In fact, He probably was prompting us, but we were not living in God's order, so we could not hear His prompts."

About their sterilization, they said this: "We knew this was contrary to church teaching so we both went to confession almost immediately afterwards, but we really didn't have true contrition because of our blindness. Little did we realize the tremendous suffering we would bring to our family, parish and community."

At the time the letter was written, they were in the process of arranging for a reversal.

Now, I don't necessarily agree with the cause and effect situation they present. However, I include it here because they believe that their decision to become sterilized was a contributing factor to their son's suicide.

Other cases in point: three couples we taught NFP to many years ago decided to throw away the NFP charts and become sterilized. Two of the couples are now divorced, one couple is separated.

Another couple we know decided to become sterilized. The wife confided in me that she now felt used.

Children who know that their parents have been sterilized (despite the teaching of the Church that it is a mortal sin) grow up thinking that they don't have to be obedient to the teachings of the Church.

Sterilization may seem like the easy way out, but in actuality, it permanently and physically separates a couple not only during their most intimate physical embrace, but in their spiritual embrace and separates them from God. It also serves as a poor example to the children. While there are many physical side effects, the spiritual repercussions are far more dangerous to a marriage.

For couples who need to avoid pregnancy, Natural Family Planning is a safe, effective and moral alternative to sexual sterilization and allows the married couple to remain as one. For more information on NFP: www.ccli.org or email me at info@fullquiverpublishing.com

Text copyright 2012 Ellen Gable Hrkach

Image purchased from iStock

Sunday Snippets – April 1

Please join me and other Catholic bloggers at RAnn's Place for Sunday Snippets where we share posts from the previous week.

Here are my posts:

7 Quick Takes Friday – Favorite Easter and Lent Movies

Remembering Mom on Her Birthday A reprint from last year: the eulogy I gave at my mom's funeral five years ago.

A High and Hidden Place Book Review

7 Quick Takes Friday – Favorite Lent and Easter Movies

Join me and other Catholic bloggers at Conversion Diary for 7 Quick Takes Friday.

This week, I'd like to share seven of my all-time favorite Easter and Lent movies.

1. The Passion of the Christ   This is one of the most powerful movies I have ever seen.  Jim Caviezel is outstanding as Christ. Mel Gibson's direction is superb. Our family watches this every year on Good Friday, although I still can't stomach the scourging scene.

2. Ben Hur I've seen this movie about 100 times, but still enjoy watching it. Ben Hur won the Oscar for Best Picture in 1960 in addition to ten other Oscars.

3. The Robe I watched this movie every year with my father when I was growing up. It's the story of the man who takes charge of Jesus' cloak after the crucifixion. Great writing, acting and characters.

4. King of Kings  As a child, I loved watching Jeffrey Hunter's portrayal of Jesus.   Outstanding movie.

5. Jesus Christ Superstar  There are some who don't like this movie because of the way it portrays Mary Magdalene, not to mention the portrayal of Jesus. However, I look at this movie as pure entertainment and not so much as a religion lesson.  I have wonderful memories of watching this movie with my mother, who enjoyed the music and dancing.

6. Easter Parade I love an old-fashioned musical and this is a great one to watch around Easter. Judy Garland and Fred Astaire are at their best. Again, pure entertainment.

7.  The Ten Commandments  This was one of the first videos we ever bought many years ago.   The special effects of the parting of the Red Sea are still  incredible to watch.   Charlton Heston plays Moses to perfection ("Let my people go") and Yul Brynner is the evil Pharaoh.

Do you have any favorite Easter/Lent movies?  Feel free to share in the comment section below.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary.

Copyright 2012 Ellen Gable Hrkach

Remembering Mom on Her Birthday

In honor of my mother's birthday today (she would have been 78), I'd like to re-post my tribute to her from last year. Also, recently, I posted a 7 Quick Takes about the contents of her special box here.

Like most of us, Mom wasn't perfect, but in many respects, she was a great example. When she became pregnant at age 47, her doctor insisted that she have an abortion. She refused and several months later, gave birth to my youngest sister (who is now a novice with the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia in Nashville). I am grateful for the many years I had with Mom, but I miss her very much.

In her memory, I'd like to share the eulogy I gave at her funeral reception five years ago:

Eulogy for Betti Power – August 14, 2007

Wife, mother, sister, grandmother, mother-in-law, stepmother, sister-in-law, aunt, cousin, friend. She was Betti (with an i).

To us, she was simply "Mom."

She was witty, loving, generous, giving, unselfish.

She enjoyed her grandchildren (at right, with my son, Adam, 15 years ago), transcribing (and was the fastest typist I know). She loved surprising people, visiting Canada, talking on the phone, doing crossword puzzles, reading. Her favorite music was West Side Story, Jesus Christ Superstar, Abba and Fleetwood Mac.

Upon meeting Mom, most people immediately felt comfortable with her and she would often strike up conversations with people she didn't know.

She cherished having a new baby when she was 47 and all that came with it: being a lunch mother, taking Laurie to dance lessons and Catholic school.

Mom was a proud graduate of Hallahan High School (class of '51).

She loved Christmas shopping and would begin in July and be finished before November.

She enjoyed watching television and her favorite shows were the Sopranos, Law and Order, Price is Right, ER, Magnum PI and All in the Family. One of her favorite movies was "Titanic" and she would watch the DVD every few months.

She used some unique sayings: "God willing and the Creek don't rise." When asked if she could speak French, she would reply, "Sure, I can. Chevrolet, bouquet, Bon Ami." When one of her kids was misbehaving, she would say, "I'm gonna drop kick you across Center Avenue." Whenever I stood next to her, she would always say, "El, are you standing in a hole?" If we referred to her as "she" and not "Mom," she would say, "Who's she, the cat's mother?" Whenever anyone asked how she was doing, she would reply, "Well, I'm still on this side of the grass, so I guess I'm doing fine."

Mom described herself as an "independent," but hasn't voted for a Republican candidate since Eisenhower.

Whenever someone in the hospital or at home would ask if they could get her anything, she would almost always reply, "Tom Selleck."

When asked what the most memorable days of her life were, she replied, "My wedding days and the days I gave birth to my five children."

Mom was a fighter, not necessarily aggressive, but she's had to survive some pretty challenging experiences: her first husband's (my father's) emotional breakdown; kidney failure when she was 33 which led to the removal of one of her kidneys and caused her to drop to 80 lbs (at five foot six, made her a walking skeleton); becoming a widow at 44; and, most recently, having to deal with COPD and emphysema over the last ten or so years. When she first became critically ill in 2004 and lapsed into unconsciousness, the doctors told us there was no hope for her, to take her off of life support. Instead, she eventually woke up. She finally came home after eight months of hospitalization to the new normal: oxygen machine, nebulizer treatments, myriad pills and medications. Although it was an uphill battle, she has always had a strong will to live.

Finally, in April, the doctors told Mom that there wasn't much more they could do for her and that she would be sent home on hospice care. Upon arriving home, she asked my brother, "I'm coming home to die, right?"

Whenever any of us helped to take care of her, she always thanked us profusely, whether it was for emptying her commode chair, making her breakfast or dinner or a snack of a soft pretzel or an ice cream cone. She often apologized for being a burden. I told her that it was a joy to help take care of her, to give back to her just a small portion of what she had given to me, and I know my stepfather and my siblings all feel the same.

Mom, we miss you. Requiescat in pace.

Photos and Text copyright 2011 Ellen Gable Hrkach

A High and Hidden Place Book Review

My latest review for Catholic Fiction.net is for "A High and Hidden Place." This is the remarkable story of one woman's quest to uncover her past. The novel begins in 1963 when 25-year-old journalist Christine Lenoir watches in horror as Lee Harvey Oswald is shot live on television. She begins to have flashbacks and vivid dreams about her life as a young child. Raised by religious sisters (Christine calls them "angel mothers") in a convent in France, Christine is led to believe that her parents died of influenza. In actuality, she discovers that they and most of the residents of her hometown of Oradour were slaughtered by the Nazis one day in June of 1944.

This was not only a compelling read, but the author did an exceptional job with flashbacks and allowing the reader to know what happened long before Christine finds out herself.

The characters are well-developed, the dialogue believable, the setting real. While most of the characters are imperfect Catholics, there are also a few Jewish characters as well. I liked the way the author presents the religious sisters who, without hesitation, took in several of the young survivors of the massacre. In an effort to protect Christine and other girls, the nuns were less than honest in the information they gave the women when they became adults.

The flashbacks of that day are so well-described that I felt the confusion of the men and women as the SS Officers were rounding them up and taking them to the Catholic Church. I felt the dread as the women heard the gun shots of their husbands being brutally murdered. And, sadly, I felt the horror as the women and children tried to escape the fire and gunshots.

While the main characters are fictional, the story of 642 French civilians being massacred in Oradour in June of 1944 is tragically true. There has never been an explanation of why the Nazis murdered the town's inhabitants of men, women and children.

Because of the subject matter, this is not an easy book to read, but it is a beautifully written novel and an extraordinary book. I highly recommend it.

Copyright 2012 Ellen Gable Hrkach

Stealing Jenny FREE Today and Tomorrow on Kindle

My third novel, Stealing Jenny, is FREE today and tomorrow on Amazon Kindle at the following link:

Stealing Jenny Kindle Edition

"After three heartbreaking miscarriages, Tom and Jenny Callahan are happily anticipating the birth of their sixth child. A neighbor, however, is hatching a sinister plot that will leave Jenny and her unborn baby fighting for their lives."

Stealing Jenny has received some outstanding reviews:

"Stealing Jenny is a gripping novel filled with engaging characters, a compelling mystery and a message which underscores the precious dignity of life. I literally couldn't put it down and give Stealing Jenny my highest recommendation." Lisa M. Hendey, Founder of CatholicMom.com and author of "A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms"

"Stealing Jenny is a smoothly written, chilling tale of gripping suspense. There are terrifying moments and heart-wrenching moments. Catholic faith and hope are tested. Above all, the sacredness and privilege of precious new life is made indisputably evident. I never wanted it to end!" Therese Heckenkamp, Traditional Catholic Novels.com

"Stealing Jenny will keep you on the edge of your seat and probably destroy your sleep pattern as you stay up to find out what happens. As a fan of Ellen Gable's already, I'm now officially getting a tee-shirt!" Sarah Reinhard, author, "Welcome Baby Jesus: Advent and Christmas Reflections for Families" and "Welcome Risen Jesus"

"Another powerful novel from a favorite author that I highly recommend to all suspense readers, especially those who appreciate not only exceptional storytelling, but the depth and meaning in a novel whose creativity is so perfectly intertwined with its spirituality. " Krisi Keley, author, "On the Soul of a Vampire," and "Pro Luce Habere"

"Stealing Jenny is a uniquely Catholic story which contains themes of faith, love, hope, forgiveness, healing, and strongly emphasizes pro-life values. It is a book that provides high quality entertainment, while at the same time, reminds one of what is most important in life: faith and family. I highly recommend it."

Jean Heimann, Catholic Fire

"Stealing Jenny is a real page turner of a novel that will keep you on the edge of your seat till the end. I began reading it on a long train trip, and found myself wishing that trip would keep going so I could keep reading. Highly recommended reading." Christopher Blunt, author, Passport

"Stealing Jenny" has all the qualities of a keep-you-up-at-night thriller: high life-and-death stakes, three dimensional characters you care about, the clash of good vs. evil, and complications galore. I guarantee once you pick up this book it's going to be a sleep-stealer." Gerard Webster, author, "In Sight" and "The Soul Reader"

Stealing Jenny is FREE today and tomorrow on Amazon Kindle.

Sunday Snippets – March 25

Join me and other Catholic bloggers at RAnn's Place for Sunday Snippets where we share posts from the previous week.

Here are my posts:

After Miscarriage: A Catholic Woman's Companion to Healing and Hope I contributed a story to this book on miscarriage by Karen Edmisten.

Lenten Pretzels My son and I made a batch of soft pretzels. They were delicious and were devoured by family members almost as soon as they came out of the oven.

7 Quick Takes Friday – The Contents of My Mother's Special Box A poignant 7 Quick Takes about my late mother's special box I found in the attic.

FREEBIE ALERT: My third novel, Stealing Jenny, will be available FREE on Amazon Kindle tomorrow and Tuesday.

Copyright 2012 Ellen Gable Hrkach

7 Quick Takes Friday – The Contents of My Mother's Special Box

Please join me and other Catholic bloggers at Conversion Diary for 7 Quick Takes Friday.

FREEBIE ALERT! Before I get to my post today, I want to let readers know that my first novel, Emily's Hope, is available FREE today and tomorrow on Kindle at the following link: Emily's Hope Kindle Edition. My third novel, Stealing Jenny, will be available free this Monday and Tuesday, March 26th and 27th.

My 7 Quick Takes Friday post today is entitled "The Contents of My Mother's Special Box."

Last Friday, my two youngest sons and I spent the entire day driving from my hometown in New Jersey to our home here in Pakenham, Ontario. It usually takes anywhere from 9.5 to 12 hours, depending on traffic, how many stops we make and weather. We started the day with early Mass, a quick breakfast, then began our journey.

The previous six days had been a difficult, heart-wrenching time of sorting through my mom's possessions. She passed away nearly five years ago, but since my stepdad and sister were still living in the house, there was no rush to go through her things.

Now that my stepdad is gone and my sister is a religious sister, my childhood home will likely be sold, so I made a special trip down to NJ to assist my siblings in going through her belongings.

When my siblings and I were children, my mother kept a flowered, maroon-colored box in her dresser drawer where she stored the special mementos of her life before and just after marriage. I couldn't find it in the days after her death, so I asked my youngest sister and stepdad if they knew where it was. They both replied that they had no idea where it had gone.

Before I traveled down to NJ, I made a mental note to look for that box and, most importantly, to ask St. Anthony to help me find it. When I arrived at the house, I decided to search in the attic and through the many boxes of Christmas decorations my mom had bought and collected over the years. When I opened the second box, I gasped. Sitting at the top was my mom's special box. "Wow," I muttered. Then I said, "Thank you, St. Anthony."

Here are seven of the items I found:

1. Wedding Night Receipt and Wedding Invitation. My mother was married to my father for 23 years before he died in 1978. I already had a copy of the wedding invitation, but I was thrilled to find the wedding night receipt.

2. Graduation Stole Mom was the first of her siblings to graduate high school. She was a proud graduate of Hallahan High School (Class of '51).

3. A Booklet entitled "Senior Class Memories." Inside this book were cards with classmates' names and a page at the back for "Prom."

4. Large Miraculous Medal Although I'm not certain, I think she received this either for her 8th Grade Graduation or her graduation from high school.

5. First Bank Book Before and just after she was married, my mom regularly deposited $10.00 per week (a lot of money in 1954).

6. Corsage and head piece from her graduation from St. Richard's School in Philadelphia. (My mom is in the front row, center, with the corsage).

7. Finally, there was a small booklet entitled "To the Graduate," that Hallahan HS gave to all graduates. At the front of the book, a message to the graduates. The very last page has a prayer called "Our Lady's Blessing" that I'd like to share:

May the Light of the Countenance

of my Little Child

ever shine on you.

May the perfection of His actions

be seen in all your works,

that nothing may be found

at the last day

but that for which you may be

rewarded.

May His Sacred Heart

be your Refuge

when beset with temptation and

tried by affliction.

May you enter the Divine Heart of

Jesus through the pierced heart

of your Queen and your Mother.

May your last hour be

your best hour and

May the Names of Jesus and Mary

seal your lips till we meet in Eternity.

Amen.

I miss my mother every day and I'm so grateful to have found her special box.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary.

Copyright 2012 Ellen Gable Hrkach