Anna David's Blog, page 23

Episode 317: Adam Carolla on Why Having a Great Book is the Best Launch Tip of All

Adam Carolla is, well, Adam Carolla. The comedian, actor, radio personality, television host and NY Times best-selling author also hosts a podcast you might have heard of since it holds the Guinness Book of World Records record for most downloaded podcast. He was also the co-host of the long-running radio show Loveline, co-created The Man Show and does like 190 other things. 

His first book, In 50 Years We'll All Be Chicks, was on the New York Times bestseller list for 10 weeks, while the audio version went straight to the #1 position on iTunes. He has since released a bunch of other New York Times bestselling books and it's probably safe to assume that his newest book, the just-released I'm Your Emotional Support Animal, will also make it there.

In this episode, we talked about why he doesn't know his publisher's name, how to write a book while driving to a comedy gig and the best  launch tip of all: have an amazing book.

 
CLICK ON ANY OF THE LINKS BELOW TO HEAR IT!!

 

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT: 

Anna David:                  00:01                All right, Adam. So your new book I'm Your Emotional Support Animal will be out by the time people hear this. This is, is this your fifth book?

Adam Carolla:               00:11                Fifth book. Yes.

Anna David:                  00:13                Here's what I was wondering as I was looking through your books, why do books, why you have all of these mediums that where you can communicate, why do you do? Book publishing some horrible industry? I mean, I know you had New York Times bestselling books. But why even do them?

Adam Carolla:               00:29                You know, I think people pardon the pun read too much into many of the things I do, including writing books. People say, why did you do Dancing with the Stars? And I always just go cause they asked and that that's my answer for most things, they go, what got you interested in and why? And I go, well, they asked, they offer you money and they asked you to write a book and you think about how much money and how much time and what we're talking about. And then you do it. And nobody wants to talk about that aspect of it because they think somehow the material will be compromised because the fact of the matter is, the first book I ever wrote was, In 50 Years, We'll All Be Chicks. And it was about 10 years ago. And by the way, that process happened a lot faster than 50 years. But they came to me and they said, Hey, would you like to write a book? And I said, okay, how much money are we talking about? And it was like $350,000.

                                    01:35                And I said, Oh, okay. But the good news is I wanted, I'm glad I wrote a book. I would have never written a book on my own. They incentivize me to write a book. Now they paid me to write a book and I wrote a really funny, interesting, I think insightful book and the process has worked that way all throughout. And I think people think like, Oh, they came to you. They paid you money. So now what? I don’t know, it's like going to a good restaurant. You came to them, you paid them money, and you got really good sushi. Like, it's not like, well, you've been bought and sold by the guy that makes sushi now. It's like, no, that's how life works. And I'm not, I never mail it in.

Anna David:                  02:18                And so, but didn't you do a book with Drew before that? Or does that not even really count?

Adam Carolla:               02:23                Oh, that's interesting. I did. And in my mind it doesn't, it doesn't count because we had like a ghost writer. I mean, even though we fed him everything and told him everything, it was me, Andrew was like, Loveline the book. It didn't feel like me. It just felt like they wanted us to write a book. Loveline was popular. So we'll just write a book, but it never felt to me, like really writing a book, like the subsequent five have been. So maybe I've written six books.

Anna David:                  02:56                Yeah. I know what that's like, where it's hard to know what to count. I'm always like, Oh, I'm the author of either six books or eight books. I don't really know if you count those two. So, what has been the process for you? You don't work with ghost writers on all the other ones or you do, or how does that work?

Adam Carolla:               03:12                I work with a fella named Mike Lynch and trying to think of like, I guess ghost writer has kind of a negative connotation to it. He's an assembler of the thoughts that I regurgitate on a daily basis. And so our process is he's not even in California, he's in Massachusetts. And he, it's a guy that I've written with, in different capacities for awhile. And so he listens to my podcast on a daily basis and he starts pulling things that I've seen said, ideas, you know, sort of spontaneous riffing on mostly that's where my ideas come from as a sort of pontificating on something or bloviating on something. And something interesting comes out. It's a little bit, I'm sorry. It's a little bit like panning for gold, which is you go through a lot of silt and sand and eventually get to little nugget of something that has some value. And then he starts kind of assembling it. He starts putting it in different places and adding and subtracting. And then at some point we start having these daily conversations. Like here's what I got. Here's what I'm thinking about.

                                    04:36                And so for me, especially living in LA pre-pandemic, I would say to him, Hey, I am driving to the comedy store from my house tonight, on Saturday night, I got to be there for an eight o'clock set. I'm going to get my car at seven. It's going to be 10 O'clock your time. You want me to call you when I get in the car? He says, call me when I get in the car, I call him and we worked the book, the whole, and also the process is better. Cause he'd be reading it out loud to me and I'd be hearing it versus reading it. I'm much better at hearing it. And then I'd get to the comedy store and I'd say to him I'm going to go up, you know, do a 20 minute set. I can be back half an hour, 40 minutes. He'd go, okay. Call me when you get back to the car. Get back to the car, drive back to [inaudible] from Hollywood. Work on it again. If I had a road trip or it's going to be somewhere for awhile, I'd say we put it on the calendar. Here's two hours. I got to go to San Diego to do a corporate gig or whatever. I'll be in the car for two hours. So let's do it. And that's we do it.

Anna David:                  05:49                Dare I say that sounds pretty fun. I would say that sounds like the most fun book writing experience I've ever heard of.

Adam Carolla:               05:56                I'll tell you this, you don't get writer's block or whatever that is. You don't find yourself doing like what they do in movies, where you sit down and bang out a paragraph and then your race it, and then you bang out another paragraph and erase it. It's very functional. It's highly functional. It's like really pragmatic. It's symbiotic. Like I talk, he grabs, once you start getting an outline of the book, then you realize that almost everything you say will fall into this chapter or that chapter. And it's very collaborative and it moves fast. Like it's a really, and look, a lot of people can't afford to do it that way. It's not free. I don't get to keep all the money. I break off a good chunk and give it to him. But if you're willing to do that, then it's a very good process. But also that person has to be good. They have to hear, they have to have your voice in their head.

Anna David:                  07:07                And so, and was he somebody who came to you because he was a listener? You have your crew, he's just like a member of the Carolla crew, right?

Adam Carolla:               07:18                Yeah. For, yeah. I mean, it's a, you've oversimplified it a little, which is completely fine. Yes. He's a member of the crew and we've been working together for years.

Anna David:                  07:31                So, okay. So if this book, if the podcast focuses on book launches, what do you do when you're launching it? But I mean kind of you just tell your legions of listeners and they go buy it. But again, I bet I'm oversimplifying a much more complicated process. So how do you approach it? What do you do when launching a book?

Adam Carolla:               07:50                I talk about it on my podcast, and anyone who will have me, like, you, thank you.

Anna David:                  07:57                I mean you are hustling it when you're coming to my podcast.

Adam Carolla:               08:00                I will start to play little clips of the audio book that we record in the studio where I'm sitting right now. So we get to keep the whole recording of the audio book in house, which is just like the writing of the text of the book. And it makes it a lot easier when you can go to the place where you work and, and do it kind of on your schedule with the hard out at the end, but still it's on your time. And we started playing little clips of it in the podcast and send it out to some of the more notable people I know to get blurbs for it, you know, the usual wiggle. And at some point they'll start setting up a little press, junket and that kind of stuff. It's nothing groundbreaking. You know, it's a, I don't know, you're going to sell a book based on press junket. People need to read your book, like your book, recommend your book and share your book. I can't imagine another way of doing it.

Anna David:                  09:12                Yeah. I mean, if you think about like, if I think about what I read, I only read because somebody told me to, or because I'm a fan or a friend of the person.

Adam Carolla:               09:22                Yeah. Well, that's an interesting point. Have you ever read a book where you saw the person talking about it on a TV show and bought that book or if you have done it that way, isn't it a much smaller number than the number of books you've read because folks, who you respect have recommended this book to you.

Anna David:                  09:47                Yeah. Well, you know, it's like, there's this marketing rule of, I think it's seven or eight. You have to have heard of something seven or eight times. If, if you don't know the person for it to even resonate. So it's like, if you go on the Today Show, okay, cool. Someone has to hear about you six more times to even buy your book. So that's why something like people like you who have this built in audience, like, that's how you're going to sell books, not by going on a TV show, you know?

Adam Carolla:               10:14                Yeah. I, you know, I agree. And it's sort of like this pandemic thing, which is, we don't really know exactly how it works, so we're just going to wear masks and wipe shit down. Like not go to any basketball games. And I don't know if it works, I don't know what works, what doesn't work. I just know this is sort of the protocol and it's kind of that way with books. Like you do this show, you do this radio junket, you talk this guy, you do that. And that's just sort of what you do and you go, well, let's really try to define which one works or what's fertile. And the answer is we don't really know, just do everything. And how could it hurt?

Anna David:                  10:59                I will say you are the very first and congratulations on being able to compare the book publishing process to the pandemic. Yes. The first. It's not wrong. It's not untrue. So have all of your books been New York Times best sellers. So it's safe to say the process is working.

Adam Carolla:               11:19                Yes and no. I think three out of the four, have been New York Times bestsellers as I recall, I know two, maybe three, but not all four. Three out of four.

Anna David:                  11:33                Pretty good. Pretty good record. I'm not a mathematician, but that's a good percentage. So, and how has your publishing experience changed? I mean, this first one, you've switched publishers. Right? Right. How has publishing, has it changed over the past decade that you've been in it?

Adam Carolla:               11:52                You know, it's funny a little like insight into my wiring. I oftentimes don't know the name of my publisher and the reason I don't know the name oftentimes is because it's not important to me, but what's important is the product and I'm lazy or something. I have this weird process where I'm only interested in things I can control. And if I can't control, God's honest, you'd have to look up to see who published my last books. Cause I honestly don't know, but Crown maybe.

Anna David:                  12:40                Well, first of all, they all swallow each other up, so they all have different names.

Adam Carolla:               12:46                That's right. Take my take. It's to me, it's academic. My thing is I'm going to write a good book. It's going to be, it's going to be edgy. It's going to be funny and it'll be thought provoking and it'll be accurate. And then I'm just going to push it out there and we'll see if everyone makes their money back and we'll see how it works.

Anna David:                  13:07                Here's what I'm going to tell you why I believe you. I had been on your show three times and then saw you. And I was like, Hey Adam. And you basically said to me, I don't know your name because I only learn the things that are kind of relevant. You said something like that. It made me not feel bad at all. It was like, Oh, okay, cool. I don't have to feel bad about that.

Adam Carolla:               13:25                When did I say that?

Anna David:                  13:28                We were in a green room at HLN, like back when drew had his show there, and it was pretty refreshing. Cause I was basically like, do you remember me? I've been on your show and you were like, no, but don't take it personally.

Adam Carolla:               13:42                I, so I don't know. I understand I have a wiring that's off putting to many, many people. Crown published the older books. And then more recently it was Harper Collins, I guess. So says the screen, Matt it's written in front of me, but so here's the thing. I somehow have decided that there are certain things I need to know and then certain things I don't need to know. And if I decide and sometimes it can be arbitrary, but if I decide, I don't need to know it, then I don't need to know it. Like, I don't know. I don't know any of the names I have twins. They just graduated from the eighth grade. I have no idea what any of their teacher's names were and the reasons that I have no ideas because I don't need to know it. But also I only have a certain amount of room in my head and I have a lot of stuff I want to know. So I somehow just decided writing a book is important. And coming up with thoughts that are going to go into that book is important. But the name of the publisher for that book is not important. Now, if I was doing a radio junket, I would write it down on a pad and put it in front of me so I could glance down and see it. And then after that, I would forget about it again.

Anna David:                  15:15                Yeah. I mean, I think we're all like that, what's refreshing about you is that you just say you're like that as opposed to people who are like, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I totally know. I totally know. You know what I mean? You're not faking it.

Adam Carolla:               15:28                I guess. I mean, I feel that way with a lot of time with birthdays and stuff like that. Like, I don't know. I'm just, I'm not wired for I guess not trivia. I like trivia, but, but things that don't feel like they will benefit me or my family or the what have you. I'm also not a big, like if you and I were going to meet for dinner and you were 15 minutes late, and you came into the restaurant and were like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I just go and sit down. I'm not interested in, well, we don't have to do this part where you tell me why you were late, your late. You're 15 minutes late. I don't need to know why. I understand you feel bad about it. Let's order.

Anna David:                  16:25                Yeah. Like it less than not your relevant information, but less than relevant information is I feel like what your saying.

Adam Carolla:               16:30                Well, also, if you could give me information that could affect you being late. Like if you could give me information and I could go back and use it to not make you late, then I'd be all ears. But this is done. Not that you're late. But as an example, it's a done deal to me and let's move on to appetizers.

Anna David:                  16:56                So about this book, in looking at it, would you say, I mean, it's sort of my cursory glance at your earlier books. It's most like your first book, right? Or is it not?

Adam Carolla:               17:08                I'd say yes. Thanks for doing your homework. And I would say it's probably more like my first book then than any other book I've written.

Anna David:                  17:18                And is that because you felt like, Hey, the world needs to hear this stuff now again?

Adam Carolla:               17:25                There was an element of the first book really resonated with people. I don't know why. I mean, it was a funny book, so I understand that people thought it was funny. It also had a lot of kind of truths kind of tough truths in it, so. And because the first book was sort of a, here's where we're going to be in 50 years and then people kept kind of coming up to me and saying, Oh, it looks like we got there in 10 years, you know, or way under your Prognostication of 50 years. So I sort of went, yeah. Everyone liked that book. It's been 10 years since I wrote that book. And I also that's my style in terms of, you know, writing a book about being a dad or writing up autobiography and or some version of that, that's fine but my style would be more suited for, I'm just going to say everything I want to say in a book form. And that's what this book is.

Anna David:                  18:33                And you know, one other thing, this is kind of like going back to the conversation about these publishers who we can't, we can't remember. Why not Publish yourself? You do everything yourself. Like your entire thing is like a media company. Why not just have ace publishing?

Adam Carolla:               18:49                Okay. It's a good question. Mmm. You have to, it's kind of a twofold answer. You have to kind of figure out how much stuff you want to do yourself because the answer isn't going to be everything, you know, because it's like saying I'm a carpenter, but I don't do everything myself, but I could, because I have the skill set, you know. But it also to certain point, how are you using your time? So, you know, I have a pool, man. I have a gardener. It's all stuff I could do, but I'm trying to allocate my time a certain way. And it's true. People go, well, wouldn't save a lot of money if you just did your own pool, you know? Yeah. I know. But I just, and it's not analogous exactly. But you have to kind of think like you do a podcast or you make documentaries or you sell [inaudible], whatever you do your stuff. But then every once in a while someone wants to do a TV production and you're going to have a hosting gig. And they're going to handle it. You know, you can't, at least I can't sort of shoulder everything all the time and it has to be some allocations to others on occasion. And in this particular case, my partner Mike Lynch was looking to get from, he's a working as a social worker therapist to starting his own business and getting his own office and hanging his shingle out. And he needed money to get an office, to buy furniture, to start a business and so on and so forth. And so part of it was an eye toward, let me see if I can get you paid. And if we did it your way, which is a good idea, he wouldn't have gotten paid, tell whatever until I got paid or whenever the money came in.

Anna David:                  20:55                But he would make a lot more. I do think it's fascinating that he's a, so that I would not think the coauthor of an emotional support animal would necessarily be a social worker. That's just interesting.

Adam Carolla:               21:08                Yeah. Therapists, you know, social worker therapist now. Yeah. It is, he and I work well together because we do have a strong sort of psychological vent, and an interest. And we lean that way. I don't think people, I don't think we will think of me that way. But I do. They think of me is kind of a blue collar, you know, dude, who, you know, says what he thinks and thinks what he means or says or whatever the fuck they think. But for me, I'm like, I'm very interested in the human condition, psychology, motivation. It's where most of my comedy comes from and Mike is obviously very interested in that as well. He does it full time for a job. So when he and I get together to kind of approach a subject, it goes a little beyond what's funny, you know, we're trying to kind of figure out what's true and how people work and what motivates people. And then how do we find the comedy? How do we find that sort of psychological truth? And then where's the comedy in that. And when you find truths, sort of emotional, psychological truths, you will find a lot of comedy. That's why all the best comedians are sort of, you know, that's why people are going he's right. He's right. That's the way my wife thinks, you know, that's the way my husband acts, you know, those are the truths. Those are, if it doesn't ring true psychologically, it's not really funny.

Anna David:                  22:47                Yeah. Well, okay. This has been fantastic. Now, if you had to give us somebody who's not Adam Carolla tips for what they should do to launch a book, what would they be?

Adam Carolla:               23:01                I'm you know, I'm trying to think about launching a book versus creating a book. I'll answer it at some point in this dissertation, but I'm very interested in the process and the product versus the outcome. And I think people get a little fixated on the outcome. You know, like I'll write a book, as long as I know it's going to be a New York Times bestseller and it's like, well, then everyone would write a book, there are no guarantees. You should write a book because you would like to write a book or more importantly, because you have something to say or an idea you need to share. If you're just writing the book because you want get on this list or get paid or get laid or get whatever, then maybe, maybe you shouldn't be writing a book. So my feeling is it's a lot easier to push a product if the product is really strong, you know? So you could say what's the best way to launch a line of T shirts. Men's tee shirts and I'd go, I don't know how good is the tee shirt? Like, is it a killer t-shirt? Tell me why someone would need this T-shirt. I got a drawer full of t-shirts, you know?

                                    24:22                So in a world where everyone has a drawer full of t-shirts and a shelf full of books why do we need your book? Write that book, create that book, create that product. And then, you know, once you do that, it's everything you can access. You know, for me, I know Jimmy Kimmel and Howard Stern. So perhaps I can go talk about it on their program, but not everyone knows Jimmy Kimmel and Howard Stern. So you can't talk about it on their program, but maybe there are other people you know. And I get it. It's, it'd be much nicer just to go on Howard Stern and talk about it than it would be to go on podcast with eight listeners and talk about it. That's where you have to start. I mean, you can obviously only do it to whatever, and by the way, I couldn't go on, I don't know. I'm trying to try to think where you would like to sell a book. I probably couldn't go on Stephen Colbert show and do it, I don't get to go everywhere. I want to go and talk about it, but I could go on Tucker Carlson show and talk about, so you have to kind of figure out like, well, where could you go? Who would have you? And you know, be persistent. But again, if the products not there, it's all going to be a mood point anyway, because it's mostly all word of mouth.

Anna David:                  25:52                Yup. Excellent. That's perfect. So thank you, Adam. Thank you so much for your time. Listeners go grab I'm Your Emotional Support Animal. I'm assuming it's wherever people can buy books, maybe bookstores will be open by the time they hear this.

Adam Carolla:               26:11                They yeah. Wherever you get books, that's where you get it.

Anna David:                  26:15                Okay. Awesome. Thanks again, Adam. I really appreciate you.

Adam Carolla:               26:19                Thanks Anna.

 

 

Episode 314: Jeff Goins on How Real Artists Don't Need to Starve

Jeff Goins is a writer, keynote speaker, and award-winning blogger with a reputation for challenging the status quo. He is the best-selling author of five books, including The Art of Work, which landed on the best­ seller lists of USA Today, Publisher's Weekly, and The Washington Post. He lives with his family near Nashville, Tennessee. His website Goinswriter.com is visited by millions of people every year.

He is also an idol of mine when it comes to the fine art of combining writing with entrepreneurship and the even finer art of being successful at both.

In this chat, we got into the importance of patrons, why your network is like your neighborhood and how it takes years to promote a book. And of course we chatted about his top launch tips. Spoiler alert: it has to do with being a good neighbor.

 
CLICK ON ANY OF THE LINKS BELOW TO HEAR IT!!

 

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT: 

Anna: So we're going. So Jeff, I already got a little sycophantic before we started recording but you are truly my business idol. I have to tell you.

 

There's nobody out there who, who I know of who encompasses writing and business quite such a high level and encourages so many people to become writers and to see that it is so possible to have a career as a writer. Is that your mission?

 

Jeff Goins: Oh, gosh. Well, thank you. No, no sycophancy taken. Um, is that my mission? I think I'm trying to not get bored. I think that you know that. I heard Adam Grant interview Malcolm Gladwell recently and he asked him a similar question. And he was like, you know, what is your life's purpose? What's your mission, whatever. And he thought, you know, Malcolm Gladwell say something like I'm going to change the way people think. And he was like, I'm just trying to not get bored. And I was so relieved to hear that.

 

I am trying to share what I learned as a creative person with the world in a way that empowers and enables other people to do some of the things that I never thought was possible. And I'm trying to continue doing that work myself. So that's what I'm trying to do. I guess I'm trying to use my story to inspire other people and to allow my story to continue.

 

Anna: And so your story is basically you wanted to be a writer, you weren't you excelled in a marketing career and you hesitated to say I am I can be a writer. Can you tell us about how that transition came?

 

Jeff Goins: Sure. So I was working at a nonprofit organization. As a marketing director. I never thought of myself as a marketing person. I never thought of myself as a writer either. I just thought of myself as a person trying to figure things out my 20s. My first job was at a nonprofit. right out of college, I graduated college, and I toured the country with a band and then I moved to Nashville after I quit the band, which is not usually the order in which those things happen. I moved to Nashville ended up getting a job at a nonprofit and was hired as a copywriter. Because I was a writing tutor in college, I didn't even have an English major. But writing was something that I was always good at. And so I started writing and learning about marketing and blogging and social media. And this is 2006. And so as an organization, we didn't have a lot of money. And so we had to use kind of scrappy, free digital marketing tools like Facebook and Twitter and email and blogs to promote our mission projects. This is a missions organizations who are doing international relief and development all over the world. And I was trying to raise money for the organization and raise volunteers for our projects.

And so just had to figure out how to be a marketer without any money and became the marketing director of that organization. And I was telling other people's stories and sharing other people's ideas with these wonderful tools on the internet. And I started to feel a little FOMO. I felt like you know, I have some ideas. I have some stories that I want to share. What if I use these tools, blogging and social media to share my own stories and ideas? So I started a blog and use what I had learned as a marketing director online and started applying it to this side projects, just this personal blog, and it grew into a fairly large audience pretty quickly. And people told me that I could monetize that. And so I started publishing ebooks and sharing all that with the world. But before I did any of that, to answer your question, I had a conversation with a friend where I was like, really hesitating to call myself a writer. And as a result, I wasn't really taking this side project that seriously. And I started this blog, but I was kind of dabbling with it.

 

I was afraid to go all in. And I was talking to this friend and he asked me what my dream was. And I said, I don't I don't have one.

 

I said, I've got a good job. I've got a wife, we're going to start a family, like, I've got a house, so I'm okay. I don't need a dream. You know, that's good stuff. I was in my late 20s at the time. And he said, Really, because I would have thought your dream was to be a writer. I was like, Why? Why would you say that? And he was like, well, you talk about writing all the time. You write all the time you read books about writing, it seems like it's your passion. And he was right. But I was just afraid to admit it. Because I felt like if I admitted that this was something I wanted, then there'll be a higher level of responsibility associated with it. And so I said, Well, you know, I guess you're right. I'd like to be a writer someday. And he just looked at me and he said, Jeff, you don't have to want to be a writer. You are a writer. You just need to write.

 

And for whatever reason, there was a number of things that happened around that same time. This is in 2000. I, I was like, yeah, this is it like that was the moment where everything kind of came together. And then next day, I started this blog, I started writing on this blog. And I wrote every morning for an hour on it publishing about a 500 word blog posts for the next two years, every day. And I started calling myself a writer. People asked me what I did, I didn't say I was a marketing director. I said, I was a writer. And as a result, when you tell people, you're a writer, the next question they ask is, well, what do you write? And so it forced me to put myself out there in a way that I wasn't doing before. And because I was putting myself out there, I started to take the work a lot more seriously, and I got better faster as a result.

 

Anna: What are your tips for growing a blog? Daily posting is surely one of them. What else?

 

Jeff Goins: Well, that's what I did. I think now, I wouldn't necessarily recommend that, you know, the internet has changed a lot. But at the time, 2010 was not the beginning of blogging. In fact, I've been blogging since 2006, on a bunch of different platforms, and so this was a new blog, which was a personal blog just around me and my work. But the way to get noticed then was to make a lot of noise. Now, I think the way to get noticed because I don't blog daily Now, the way to get notice is because everybody's got something, you know, he's got Instagram or a Medium account or whatever, and they've got a platform, Facebook, Twitter, whatever, they've got a platform to share their ideas. And so the way that you get noticed now, I think, is that you have to do really, really good work. You have to care. If you care more than most people, you have to care about your work you have to care about your audience. So how do you get noticed today, I would say pick a platform, pick a place that you want to show up. It could be I would recommend a blog for writers but could be medium, which is a great platform. Could be Instagram, plenty of people are building large following followings on Instagram right now. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, I just really depends on where your people are.

Pick a platform, go all in on it, and do something every day to share an idea with somebody get it in front of them. So if it's a blog, I would write like one article per week. Or maybe it's a podcast, same deal, you know, publish one great piece of content per week. And pick when you're going to show up how you're going to show up, and then do something small every day to help that platform grow. So it could be promoting the thing that you've written, talking about it on a podcast, sharing it somewhere that you haven't shared it. When I was writing daily, that was the thing that I was doing. I think now it's better to create really, really great content, and then do something small every day to try to make yourself more findable. But really, the trick is to keep showing up. And a friend of mine says, do if you want to turn pro at something, you've got to commit to doing it every day.

 

For the next two years, and that's true, that's true for me, it took two years of doing the work every single day, sometimes only 30 minutes a day, sometimes a couple of hours, but consistently showing up, writing something for the blog, promoting it, figuring out online marketing, figuring out lead magnets and building an email list all the things. And I don't know how to do any of this. But I was committed to getting up a little bit early every morning. And at this point, when I was doing it, I had a wife and kid, I'm starting a family. And so it was a noisy household after about 6am. So I got up at five. And I worked on my blog for an hour every morning, and whatever I needed to do. And if I didn't know what I needed to do, I would do some research I would learn, but I knew that I wanted to get this message out into the world. And I would say that's good advice today do something small every single day and commit to it for the next two years. And my caveat to that would be don't expect any results for the first six months.

 

Which is what I experienced. My email grew by like a person every week for the first six months, and then the growth after that sort of the catapult, but you've got to be willing to just keep showing up. It's like dating or something, you know, like you go on one day, or like, whatever. But if the person keeps showing up, you keep liking them, you keep having good experiences with them, they're going to want to see more. And the same thing is true here with an audience, like if you show up once you write a great article. Cool. Have a great product, one great podcast episode, fine. But we're used to people on the internet ranting about something and then disappearing, fading into oblivion. So if you want to get noticed, keep showing up, prove yourself trustworthy, be consistent.

That was there.

 

Anna: You said so many things that I that I wanted to jump on. Yeah, I always tell people the most successful writers I know are not the most talented. They're the ones who kept doing it. They're the ones who started in the 90s and are still at it today. And I would say one of your one thing also that I noticed that that you did a lot and I think that you've talked about a lot is this guest posting, do you still think that works going on other people's platforms sort of borrowing their audiences?

 

Jeff Goins: I think the principle of it works. And I'm as a marketer, as an entrepreneur, as a writer. I'm always interested in principles over strategies because strategies change, fairly often principles change, almost never. And the tools to implement the strategies change even more often. So when it comes to where to focus, I focus on principles and then I figure out how can I execute these principles. So for example, permission is a principle in the world of marketing, meaning I need permission from you to communicate with you in a way where you're eventually going to pay me for something, buy something, buy a book, or pay your attention to me. So the strategy that works for a lot of people is I need to get you on my email list. That's the strategy is get on my email list and the tool is sign up for MailChimp or something ConvertKit. So the principle behind guest posting guest posting was the strategy for me that worked really well is

 

If you want people to know that you exist, you have to go where people already are. Right. So if I move into a new neighborhood, and I want friends in that neighborhood, at some point, I'm going to have to step outside my house and walk around the neighborhood and, you know, bring some brownies over to my neighbors or something. And that's what guest posting was, for me, it was showing up on other people's platforms where other people were already gathering the people that I wanted to reach. And it was offering a gift, hey, here's a free piece of content, and then link back to my website. Enjoy.

 

Now from a search engine optimization standpoint, if you want to get into that, does guest posting still work? Yes, because your link building back to the website, which is going to increase the authority of the website, which is going to generate more organic traffic over time. Again, that's that's a strategy that you shouldn't expect to see any results on for the first six months. So guest posting, should you write a bunch of articles and other people's websites and link back to your website. Does it work? Yeah, I think it still works does it work as well as it did for me back then.

 

I'm not I don't know, I don't think so it's a bit of an old hat strategy. So you've got to find new ways to adapt. So what am I doing? Podcast interviews, what you know what's really big right now podcasts. I have a podcast I have a blog people like listening to podcasts. So the equivalent for guest posting for me. These days it’s showing up on podcasts and podcasts interviews, but the principle is the same is the same like go where people are, and make a splash, do something, create something, do something generous, that's going to link some attention back to you bring some people back to your house so that you can you know, have your own party I think of guest posting I thought of guest posting and interviews is like going to a bunch of neighborhood parties, meeting people and then being like, Hey, here's my address. Here's my phone number like let's stay in touch. When you meet somebody at an event or at a party or whatever. You want to stay in touch with them and they don't know who you are because you're new in town. Same thing with starting a podcast or a blogger website, you've got to go find the people, a lot of people think you can just build it and people are going to show up.

 

And I guess maybe sometimes that happens more often than not, you've got to go find where people are and bring some of those people back to your place.

 

Anna: And so in terms of launching a book, all of that is a great, you know, no, in the whole neighborhood is a great way to get the neighborhood to buy your book.

 

Jeff Goins: Right. Yeah. Knowing the whole neighborhood is great way to get the neighborhood to tell all their friends about your book. So even more people buy your book.

 

Anna: True! In terms of what I loved about your book Real Artists Don't Starve is it's very kind of old fashioned. Like, all these people are talking about, like, you need a mentor. I believe you call them patrons. Yeah, right. There's like something about it. It's very quaint. It's this like, way of talking about marketing. But let's talk about mentors slash patrons. You know, Michael Hyatt was a huge one for you. Yeah. I met with Marian Roach, one for you. Let's talk about the role that is played in it linking it back to books and how that has helped with book launches.

 

Jeff Goins: Yeah, I mean, another word for patron is like influencer. So yes, these people were mentors of mine, but they were also people who let me borrow their influence, or rather who shared my work with their audience. And I would not be where I am today, if Michael Hyatt wasn't generous in sharing a lot of my message, often with his audience, especially in the early days. And I remember having an uncomfortable conversation with him one time where I was like, Hey, you don't have to keep doing this. This is making it uncomfortable. I'm overwhelmed. Because he would, he would tweet an article and you know, a couple hundred people go, click the link and go visit my article, like immediately and it was overwhelming. And I thought he was being super nice because we were friends. And he said, I don't know what you're talking about. He said, I like sharing good work with my audience and you do good work. So I'm going to keep sharing it and I was like, Alright, Alright, fine.

 

Patrons are people who believe in your work sometimes before you do, and in the old days, in the days of the Medici family in Italy, they often gave money. But they more, more importantly, also gave their influence. So when Michelangelo was living with Monday, he family learning how to be a sculptor. Every week, he would sit at the dinner table with his patron Lorenzo and all of his friends, including Machiavelli, and all these incredible people, all the people who are changing the world, not just art, but of politics, literature, philosophy, thinking, you got to sit at that table. By the way, growing up in that house, he was growing up in the house of future princesses, and Pope's, I mean, so he was really well connected as a result of connecting with an influencer. So the money was good, the influence was better. And so these days, there's kind of two types of patrons.

 

There's the influencer type of patron. And the best way to borrow that person's influence, so to speak, is to let them mentor you. And in the book, I talk about what I call the case study strategy, which is simply making yourself teachable, showing up over and over and over again in front of a bunch of master workers have masters of your field, and letting them know that you exist and letting them know that you're here to learn from them. What does that look like today? emailing 10 people whose work you admire and say, Hey, so and so, thank you for your podcast it this particular episode, help me do this specific thing. Now, do you have any other resources for me? Is there anything else that you have for me? And if somebody keeps showing up like that to you, not in an annoying way, like let me pick your brain, but I'm already learning from you. What else can I learn? Do you have a book that I can buy as a course that I can sign up for? I really, really want to learn from you.

 

What will likely happen is that you will want to give more and more of your time and attention to this person because it feels good. It actually feels good to have somebody take your advice because most people don't. And so what I experienced in my own careers right, or what I've seen lots of other people who have succeeded do is they engage with these mentors, these patrons, these influencers that are top of the field, and not everybody responds, but if you put out 10 emails to influencers in your space, whom you admire, and you use the strategy, dear so and so thank you for x and help me do y now what about z? I say it as if it's some formula. It's just a nice note, hey, you're working back to me. I want more. And some people go cool. Other people, their assistant will respond to that people won't respond. You do that with 10 people don't give up. You're going to see some people respond. And the trick is to keep showing up so that you can prove yourself as trustworthy as an apprentice. And when I was starting out, I didn't know much. But I also knew that if I could get some people to mentor me one, I would get better faster, too. I kind of understood that they would want me to succeed. And that's what happened.

 

Anna: Yeah, that's interesting. It's almost like when people recommend crowdsourcing material for your book, asking your audience what they want, you're crowdsourcing your mentors investment in you, because you're the material.

 

Jeff Goins: Yeah. And you'll have probably multiple mentors at different times.

 

Anna: And so when it comes to a book, how did those mentors help? Did they, you know, promote your book to their lists? Like what were the actual things that happened that helped the launch succeed?

 

Jeff Goins: So if you want people to promote your work, the best thing that you can do is form a real relationship long before you need something from them. And this is tricky these days, because lots of people are reaching out just to connect, and they're like putting your name on a list and two weeks or two months later, they're asking you for a favor. When Tim Ferriss wrote The Four Hour Workweek, he had no platform. He did not have a blog. He sold the book, a big book deal in 2006 and it came out 2007. It was a 100 page book proposal. Very impressive. But what he had done was he had built a network with hundreds of bloggers going to South by Southwest and these tech conferences and these blogging conferences 2005 and 2006 connecting with all these people who represented this lifestyle design that he wanted to promote to the world. And he knew that if he made friends with these people, and a year later asked them for a favor that a lot of them would say, cool. So what did he do? He formed relationships and created experiences.

 

Robert Scoble said that Tim’s marketing strategy was getting drunk with bloggers and that's not that far from the truth. Have you ever hung out with somebody at a conference, had a couple of drinks, had a good time. And then a few months later, they reach out and you're like, Man, that was a good time, like you're associating them with a good experience.

 

And so that's what he did. And his patrons were all these bloggers, all these people like Noah Kagan, who are in kind of the online marketing space, but newer voices, but had this very powerful tool called blogging. And 90 days before the book came out, he called in all these favors, and ended up guest posting and doing interviews and all these different blogs and podcasts and just kind of descended on the scene very quickly and became a big deal. So what does that look like for us? Make as many connections now create memorable experiences help people before you ever expect them to help you and help people because it feels good, not because they're going to pay you back someday. But what my dad taught me growing up is true. What goes around comes around. If you help enough people get what they want. Many of them are going to want to help you get what you want.

 

So for me, when I was starting my blog, I just understood that it would be better for me to help other people than to just go around asking for help. And yes, and when a book comes out what you want actually, is you want a list of people who are eager to promote your work. Because you've been a faithful student, you know, a mentee of theirs a friend for a long, long time. So that when you've got a project coming out, they want to help you. And if I've helped somebody, if I've given them advice, and they've taken it, and then they've turned that into some sort of project, like a book, I want that to do well, because I feel invested in that person, even if I've just been giving them advice for free over the years. I'm invested in their success, because in some ways, I identify with them. And so I think the trick to getting people to promote your work is to be a good friend, and to be teachable and to reach out to people whom you admire and solicit their advice in ways that demonstrate you're going to actually apply it.

 

Anna: And so, how long had you been blogging and building this audience by the time you reach you released your first book?

 

Jeff Goins: I started my blog at the end of 2010. And the first book came out in 2012. So 2011 was basically my year of audience building. I built the email list about 10,000 people. I wrote an article per day on the blog 365 days in 2011. And then I guest posted on about 100 different websites just trying to build the audience and build the network people that at some point, were going to promote my work and I didn't even really know what that meant. I was just trying to show up and kind of make a bit of a splash in the scene.

 

Anna: Did the success of your book surprise you? Were you expecting it? How did you feel about that?

 

Jeff Goins: I had two books come out in 2012 within six months of each other in 2011. I was growing my blog and I got a book deal a small book deal with a small publisher in Chicago. And I was elated. I was excited. So I started writing this book about my experience of working in the nonprofit industry. And it was kind of this personal development book. And before that book came out, as I was working on that book, my wife and I got pregnant, start, you know, basically started, started a family. And I quickly realized we couldn't afford for her to stay home and be a full time mom for a while, and she wanted to do that. And so I thought, well, maybe I can find a way to make some money off of this blogging thing, because my book deal was like a $6,000 book advance, it wasn't very much and it was nice, this nice little payday, but I needed more money. And, and I kept hearing about self publishing, and I had a friend who made like, $40,000 off of a self published ebook in two months. And I was like, I want to do that. And so I called her and asked her how she did it, and she told me and so in a month, I

wrote a book called You are a writer. So start acting like one. And then I spent like a month or two, editing and designing and getting ready to publish. And then I published it and I just bartered with friends. I didn't have any money. So I didn't spend any money on the book. And I published it. And the book sold about 10,000 copies in the first several months.

 

And I was selling it as a PDF on my website, and I was also selling it on Amazon, and every day, I would see money come in through my email, and I remember lying in bed one night going, we just made $100. You know, in the last hour, I've never made $100 in an hour, you know. And so when that started taking off, that did surprise me. And it started to excite me about what was possible. And I knew that my wife was going to be able to quit her job, but by the end of the year, I was also going to be able to quit my job and things were going to be different.

 

Anna: And what are your feelings on self publishing versus traditional publishing?

 

Jeff Goins: I think for most people, the option is self publishing, that is the smart option of publishers aren't knocking on your door, if you don't have a large platform, ie more than 10,000 email subscribers, I think your first option should be self publishing. There is no stigma or taboo as there once was meaning you can self publish a book, and then still be desirable to a traditional publisher. So if you have a large platform, or you're talking to agents, you've got publishers interested in your work, then it's worth considering. A lot of authors go Should I self published or traditionally published, I have a few hundred people on my email list. And I've got a book that I'm working on.

 

Well, you should really just self publish, you should promote the book, you should use the book to build your platform. So once a book comes out, you could you even if you have a big audience, you can still go promote it. That's what every author does. That's what I do. So get on the podcast, write the articles, get it out there. And then you can leverage that success if you'd like. You don't have to. I mean, I have plenty of friends who are indie authors who make a great living—making six and seven figures a year self publishing.

 

So it really just depends on what you want to do. But if you're like a lot of authors I talk to where you still think I'd really like to work with a traditional publisher someday, because there's some sort of prestige associated with it. That's fine. I've worked with publishers, I've self published books as well. It really depends on the project. But you can start by self publishing, and then if you want, you can eventually leverage that success into a traditional book deal if that's what you want to do.

 

Anna: And for you from now on, what do you plan to do?

 

Jeff Goins: Um, I'm at a point where it's easier to work with a publisher, the money is good, and they handle the hassle of printing the books and distributing them and all of that. But I don't know that that'll always be the case. There may be a time when I just go completely independent. There are pros and cons and I constantly weigh them with every book. And so I think the question for me is, what is the goal of this book and then what is the best means to get this message out there? Sometimes the goal of the book is to make some money so that I can pay my bills. Usually, that's one of a few goals. Another goal is obviously spread the message. But a goal of a book could be I'm going to spread this idea to help sell this other thing that I have, or this book is really a means to get more speaking gigs. Or I want to sell as many copies of this book as possible. Therefore, I'm going to self publish it so I can keep most of the royalties and I know that I have direct access to this audience. So self publishing is the reason for doing that.

 

For me, right now, books are about money. I think you should get paid to write books. There's nothing wrong with that, about spreading a message that's very meaningful and important to me. I would never write a book just for the money but if I'm going to write something, I believe and I also want to get paid well for it. And then for me, there's sort of like a back end side of it, which is if my book sell Not right now.

 

I sell online courses, some other back end product, often it's it's speaking and so it's easy for me to publish a book, sell a bunch of copies of it and then see kind of the trickle down effect with with speaking gigs. So, you know, it depends on the project, but but for me, because those are the goals working with a traditional publisher is often the best route.

 

Anna: And in terms of speaking gigs, is your speaking about becoming a writer, is that what your keynotes are about?

 

Jeff Goins: No, um, so, uh, I speak I speak at writing conferences several times a year, and I'll talk about that. But then, you know, the last book was about creative entrepreneurship essentially. So I'll speak at business conferences. I'll either speak on writing or on the topic of one of my books, I wrote a book called The Art of Work, which is about finding your purpose, and calling and vocation in life. So, yeah, it depends, but I'm usually speaking to business audiences or writing audiences.

 

Anna: Okay, so we're going to wrap up with your top three launch tips. And I did notice that you did something interesting, which is a lot of people will say, here's your bonus for ordering five copies or 10 copies, but you have an evergreen, hey, if you buy this book, you will get this worksheet, you will get access to this course. Is that one of your launch tips?

 

Jeff Goins: Yeah, I do think having bonuses for people is really important. And

remember that like when a book comes out to an author, it's a big, big deal. The first week, the first month, I mean, this has been a marathon by the time the book is out. You feel like the marathon is over. And it is but a whole new one begins to a reader. If a book is a week old, like that's a new book two weeks old, a month old, a year old. These are new books. I mean, how often have you heard somebody talk about a book and it's like a movie, or it's in the theater for like a week or two, or maybe a month is like, ah, I'll get to that later. It's a book, it's going to be on the shelf forever.

 

But to an author, it's really important to talk about it, get it out there sell a bunch of copies. So when people do you know, some sort of a launch week bonus, I think that's great. If you have a good size audience that makes sense. And I do that but then I also usually have some sort of evergreen—get the book and get something else that will help you with the book could be a worksheet could be an email course or video course or something that's relevant to whatever the book is. Because yeah, like give people a minute to learn about you and learn about the book and make a decision to spend $25 on a, you know, hardcover book or whatever. So I like that. I always like working with launch teams, getting people to read the book and talk about it.

 

And then get on as many podcasts as possible. I actually think a lot of times with launches, people try to get fancy, you know, they try to launch a new, launch a new podcast or do this new thing. And I've done that I've tried new strategies and new technologies, and it's fine. But really what it takes to sell a book is you got to get the book in front of a lot of people who are interested in the topic that you have to talk about it and not stop talking about it for the next two years.

 

Anna: Wow. Yeah. Okay. Well, this has been wonderful. If people would like to reach you, what is the best place they can find you?

 

Jeff Goins: Go to my website, Goinswriter.com. I have a podcast called The Portfolio Life. You can search that wherever you listen to podcasts as well.

 

Anna: Oh, and we should mention the portfolio life to you is to the way I see it is like it's sort of being a business person, as a writer having your income stream from many creative places. Is that it?

 

Jeff Goins: Yeah, your life your work is a portfolio. It's not just one thing, it's a bunch of different things that all work together. And so I don't look at my work as my writing, I look at my work as my life, I'm running a business. I'm a dad, I, I'm a writer, I'm a poet. I'm a marketer, like all of these things. I are my body of work. And so when I think about my work, I don't just think of one thing I think of this portfolio that I'm managing, like an investment portfolio, and my job is to make the whole thing succeed. Even when the various activities at different times the successes of them may flow, the goal is to manage the whole thing. And I think more and more that's what's required as creative people we have to live portfolio lives as writers. It can’t just be, I just want to make a bunch of money off of my writing. Well, that's great, but like that may look different at different seasons. And so being able to embrace the whole of your life and all of your work as sort of this integrative thing, I just think keeps you sane and gives you the freedom to try different things without feeling like you're selling out.

 

Anna: I love it. Jeff, thank you so much for your time. And hey, listeners, thank you for listening. How awesome was that? If you loved it, obviously throw a review up. Right. Okay. I will talk to you guys next week. Thank you.

How to Turn Your Book Into Consulting, Coaching & More

Once you’re an author, you’re not just an author.

You’re an expert.

And experts can do a lot of things. I’ve listed a fraction of them below.

Coaching

Most non-fiction books — even straight memoirs — display the author’s knowledge about a topic. And the majority of authors share their experiences because they want to help others who struggle or have struggled with the same issues that they have. Creating a one-on-one or group coaching program, either based on material in the book or simply on the topic, provides an author not only with the opportunity to help people on an even deeper level but also a way to take a deeper dive into the topic (possibly providing you with material for book two?) The best program I know of that teaches people how to become coaches is Inner Glow Circle (sorry, guys; it’s for women only).

Consulting services

Want to take the coaching to the next level (and possibly get paid better for it)? Consider offering consulting services to companies who could use whatever expertise you established with the book.

Certifications

If your coaching program is in full swing, maybe you want to create a bunch of mini-me’s — or at least train other people in what you’ve been teaching. Developing a curriculum and providing certification shouldn’t be hard if you have a thorough coaching program.

Subscription/membership programs

The same material you create for a coaching program can be used in a monthly membership program. You can run these however you want — with videos and worksheets you’ve created, with guest interviews, with in-person events or with daily or weekly video check-ins. The main thing to remember is that people abandon monthly programs that they don’t use so make this as value-packed as possible (the more the group includes direct involvement with you, the more value it’s going to have).

Events

We’re living in the day and age of event throwing and your event can be anything from a workshop to a retreat to a weekly gathering and it can be held at a cafe, theater, holistic health center or Airbnb (we’ve held events at all of them). Your programming can cover the same material that your monthly programs and everything else do but here’s the secret about gatherings: oftentimes people are just aching to connect with a like-minded community and thus the activities matter far less than simply the fact that the event is happening.

Masterminds

Plenty of entrepreneurs with books are launching them — and with hefty membership fees. Joe Polish runs two Genius Network groups (with a $100,000 and $25,000 annual cost respectively) — and he’s not the only one. The key to a mastermind is in its members: the price tag is the ultimate weeding out process, leaving members to network and do business with those whose businesses are thriving.

Products/swag

Selling an on-brand product can be a way to take your expertise to another commercial level. James Swanwick, the author of The 30-Day No Alcohol Challenge: Your Simple Guide to Easily Reduce Or Quit Alcohol, was doing well with his 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge program but his career skyrocketed when he developed and started selling blue blocking glasses.

WANT TO LEARN TO WRITE A BOOK THAT CAN HELP YOU BUILD A BUSINESS? DOWNLOAD MY ONE-PAGE MEMOIR STRUCTURE CHEAT SHEET HERE.

Before Publishing a Book, You Need to Know the Rules

The number of books on Amazon with horrible covers and three or four reviews is uncountable.

Like I said about the guy in the tube top: just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

In other words, you can dash a manuscript off, have someone from Fiverr lay it out and slap on a Canva-created design. I even recommend that path for those who have absolutely zero budget.

But I’m not talking to you when I say that.

I’m reasonably certain you want better than that.

If you’ve made it this far, I’m reasonably certain you’re only interested in excellent.

And that means following the rules.

So what are these rules?

1) Create an excellent manuscript.

I don’t care if it’s 100,000 words or 1,000. It’s not about length. In fact, as a publisher recently told The Financial Express, “We publish increasingly for readers who are more accustomed to and prefer short-form reading, thanks to the easy availability of books and journalistic literature on smartphones and digital devices.”

So: length doesn’t matter. Quality does. If you’re not a writer, please hire one!

2) Have your book professionally edited.

You, the writer, should not be the editor.

I learned this the hard way (and I’ve edited numerous books and thousands of articles).

I learned this when I finished my book of essays, How to Get Successful By F*cking Up Your Life, and then had it laid out and printed.

I received the 100 copies from the printer.

And then I caught mistake after mistake after mistake — despite the fact that I’d already gone through it repeatedly.

I had a professional editor read it and then had the book laid out and printed again.

I had to toss those 100 copies. I may as well have set the money on fire.

That’s why at Light Hustle, editing is a multi-step process:

- We do a comprehensive edit, which can mean reconceiving the entire book.

- We do an edit on that edit.

- We do a copy edit, which means we send it to a certified copy editor.

- We do an edit to make sure we catch everything the copy editor misses.

Yes, even people who edit for a living, who have in fact been certified in it, make mistakes.

They make mistakes because they are human.

As a human, you should hire an editor and a copy editor and then an editor after that.

Trust me, it’s worth the added expense.

While it’s inevitable that a published book will have some typos, I know when I see a bunch of them, I lose immediate respect for the author. I usually close the book right then. Do you really want to work that hard to have people disrespect or dismiss you?

3) Have it laid out by a layout expert.

Yes, there are people on Fiverr who can do this for $5. And there are people who charge thousands. Find someone in the middle.

4) Have a book cover designer create the cover.

Because of Photoshop, everyone’s a designer these days. But you don’t want everyone. You want a book cover designer. After a nightmarish experience with someone who came from the advertising world and called himself a book designer but had absolutely no idea how to design a cover that fit Amazon’s requirements, we decided to only work with designers who’d worked for the Big Five publishers.

Here’s what can happen if you don’t:

- You upload your cover.

- Amazon accepts it.

- You get an email from Amazon 48 hours later that explains that your cover was rejected because it doesn’t meet certain specifications but it neglects to explain which of the specifications it means.

- You have your designer fix it.

- It happens six more times.

It actually happened seven more times with the designer I’m talking about. Each time, perhaps because he was embarrassed by the fact that he couldn’t do something he’d told us he could, he got increasingly difficult so we were not only caught in a difficult situation with a publisher but also dealing with an incredibly nasty designer.

Trust me, you don’t want that. (That being said, some people want to release a book at the lowest possible cost; that’s why the final bonus in this book is a guide to releasing a book for almost no money, which walks you through how to design your cover yourself.)

5) Get all your release elements in place.

Here are some of the things I recommend doing the week of your release:

- Post Canva-created quotes from your book on Facebook, Twitter and/or Instagram (wherever you spend the most time and energy)

- Do a Facebook Live “release party” or something live that you can then convert to 9:16 size and also post as an IGTV

- Create a promotional video using the Clips app

- Ask influencers and friends to promote your book; provide them with whatever copy and material will help them

- Change your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube and any other images to include your book cover. Make those clickable whenever possible and once your book is available, paste your Amazon link there

- Re-do your site to feature your book cover on the home page or create a separate site for your book

- Write out a series of emails to send people but rather than making them all sales-y (“Hey, I have a book” followed by “Hey, did you buy my book?”) make them newsy…have one that announces how well it’s selling, another that alerts them to a contest you’re running or another that announces that you’re doing a Facebook Live

- Run a contest. Give away Starbucks gift cards, a consultation with you or anything else you can think of to incentivize people to buy or share about your book.

6) Gather an Advanced Reader Team (ART).

What this means: Once you have a book ready to be released, the most effective way to guarantee success (in addition to uploading it to Amazon with keywords and in categories specifically designed to make it hit the top of the bestseller lists) is to put together and nurture an Advanced Reader Team that can review your book right before you announce that the book is available to the general public.

These can NOT be members of your family or close friends because Amazon not only forbids reviews from people it considers biased but also scans for potential relationships between reviewer and author and deletes those that appear to be from those close to the author.

(It happened to me! A girl I know but who isn’t a particularly close friend of mine reviewed one of my books and then got an email from Amazon saying that they’d concluded that the review was biased and were deleting it. Apparently, there are both bots and people on the Amazon team always scanning for these sorts of things.)

Advanced Reader Team members should instead be people who are aware of you, support your work, want to see you succeed and are interested in your book topic.

If you don’t have a newsletter list, use your social media or whatever other tools you have to find these people. If you have a newsletter list, send the offer to them first and then use social media and all the other tools.

You’re probably going to need to motivate and thank this group, and do keep in mind that roughly 20% of ART members end up coming through and actually writing reviews. That means: if you’re aiming for 20 reviews to be posted on your release date try to gather a group of 100 people.

7) Nurture your Advanced Reader Team.

Once you find them, here’s what I recommend: create a Facebook, Slack or WhatsApp group for them — some place where you can communicate with them easily.

At least a month before your release date, create a BookFunnel account ($20 for a year) and upload your book there.

Send your ART members a link to that and ask them to start reading and even writing their review but to hold onto it until your release date.

Over that month, keep in touch with them through a series of emails.

For my books, I offer Advanced Reader Team members different online courses I’ve created to thank and incentivize them. Try to think of your version of that.

To be clear: you are NOT “paying” them to write a positive review (in my opinion, it’s actually better to have a mixture of positive and medium reviews instead of all positive reviews; all positive reviews scream author-imposed; mixed reviews feel more legit).

You are giving them a gift to thank them for supporting you.

8) Get your ART reviews up before you even announce the release.

When you load your book onto Amazon, set the cost at .99. Don’t worry — you’re not selling your book for that. This is just the price for your Advanced Reader Team.

Three days before your official release, alert your ART that the book is available and send them the link. Ask them to go purchase the book for .99 and write a review.

(While people can review without purchasing the book, they need to have made the purchase for the review to count as Verified and have the little Verified checkmark next to it. Not only does this look a lot more legit but it also matters a lot more to Amazon than a non-verified review.)

And remember how I just said that the people on your ART should be interested in your topic?

Here’s why this is important:

They need to have a history of buying books like yours on Amazon for Amazon to find their shopping experience relevant. If you gather a bunch of people who only read Victorian romance books to buy and review your book about starting a business, that’s not going to help.

9) Announce your book.

Use all those release elements you got in place in step 5. And then keep using them.

You may be saying, “Dear God, why would I go through all that? I already did the book! Now I have to do all this extra work?”

Here’s what I have to say: there’s a massive difference between having a book out and having a bestselling book out. Sure, some books can just hit but wouldn’t you rather be in control of your destiny? I know I would.

WANT TO WRITE A MEMOIR? DOWNLOAD MY ONE-PAGE MEMOIR STRUCTURE CHEAT SHEET HERE.

Before Publishing a Book, You Need to Know Your Limitations

I didn’t set out to start a company that writes, edits and publishes books for entrepreneurs and other people who want to share their stories.

In fact, after a somewhat horrific experience writing a book for an actor, I vowed to never write another book for someone else again.

(That book ended up becoming the New York Times bestseller but was that worth it when this guy regularly threw his phone at me and called me a “stupid c***” whenever I asked him to talk about something that made him uncomfortable? Still not sure.)

But in 2018, a major sports agent named Darren Prince who wanted to start doing recovery advocacy work came to me and asked if I’d help him tell his story.

I said, regretfully, I could not.

He Was Insistent

There’s a reason that this guy represents people like Magic Johnson and Dennis Rodman…he’s persistent.

And so I asked my friend Kristen McGuiness, also a bestselling author of multiple books who had experience with ghostwriting, if she’d consider writing Darren’s story. She said yes. I told Darren I’d edit it.

Then he said he wanted me to publish it, too.

I told him I didn’t know how to publish books.

That’s okay, he said, with the smile of someone accustomed to people saying yes. He’d pay me to learn.

That book, Aiming High: How a Prominent Sports Agent Hit Bottom at the Top, became a huge hit, launching Darren onto the speaking circuit and netting him so many new clients and opportunities that he had to hire his own team of agents.

Launch Pad Publishing was born. And it would not exist without the amazing Darren Prince. Yes, this is a man who is pretty much single-handedly responsible for the fact that I have a thriving business today.

Since Then, My Attitude Has Done a 180

I now see that having a book is pretty much a necessity in the business world today and that any entrepreneur who doesn’t have one is missing out on the most crucial part of their marketing.

I’m thrilled to be able to help people — those who didn’t spend their formative years trying to pick the perfect word to craft the ideal sentence — release the best quality books they can. I’m thrilled to watch their careers skyrocket once that book is released.

I’m thrilled to have discovered my mission.

So, let me ask you: what’s yours? And if it’s to write a book, do you know your limitations

Here’s What I Mean by Know Your Limitations

Once I determined my place in the writing and publishing game, I learned just how much other people need to do the same.

Here’s what I mean: at Light Hustle, we screen every client, thoroughly. And we pretty much reject any of the ones that come to us insisting that they are great authors who want to write their book but just want us to oversee.

Why are they coming to us if they are great authors? Great authors tend to be people who have been writing their whole lives.

It’s like this: if you saw a massively overweight man wearing a tube top, you might think, “Just because you can wear that doesn’t mean that you should.” Yes, anyone can write a book. But should they?

Here’s what I mean: just because someone has the ability to sit in front of a keyboard and peck out letters that make words that make sentences that make paragraphs that make pages does not mean that those keys will create high-quality material.

If you are a writer — and by that I mean someone who has always read a lot, has been crafting sentences for as long as you can remember and who often feels more at home in front of a screen than anywhere else — you should write a book.

If you’re someone, on the other hand, who thinks you have a great story to tell and want to take a stab at writing, you probably should not.

If you’re someone who thinks, “I speak well so I probably write well, too,” you probably should not.

The Truth Is, You Know If You Should Write a Book

You know if you’re a writer.

If you’re not, deciding to write a book is as crazy as deciding that you should try to operate on someone even though you haven’t had sufficient training.

(If you listened to the Dr. Death podcast, you know how terrifying that can be.)

When people can come to terms with the fact that they’re not writers, they can set themselves up for excellence.

I’m not here to tell you whether you’re a writer or not.

The only one who can tell you is you.

So please be honest with yourself. Don’t let your ego answer. Ask yourself: Would I spend a year writing this out of sheer joy for the act of writing, even if I thought no one would ever read it?

If the answer is yes, go write it. Otherwise, I think you ought to reconsider.

The Would-Be Client That Taught Me This

We had one guy, a rehab owner, who came to us with the seeming intention of working with us.

He kept three of my team members, including me, on the phone for an hour apiece, explaining the originality of his book idea and how it would revolutionize the industry.

He emailed us what he’d written and it was if not illiterate then at least illegible.

I don’t blame him for not being a talented writer. He was, after all, a talented businessman who spent his days owning and operating a rehab.

His having produced the brilliant opus he claimed he had would be as ludicrous as me showing up at his rehab that day and explaining I would like to run it, despite never having learned the ropes of his industry.

It was clear to my whole team that he just wanted to be told that his writing was amazing — all he was waiting for before signing on the proverbial dotted line.

But I told him the truth…that his book was not publishable and that if he wanted to pay us to write and publish his book, we’d have to start from scratch.

We’re good at telling stories, I explained. What we’re not good at is fixing stories that are badly told.

He didn’t respond well.

He told me that he had lots of contacts at the big publishing houses and he would submit there.

I didn’t tell him that roughly three out of every 10,000 book proposals sell.

There’s nothing I can do to help people who don’t know their limitations.

Our favorite clients are the ones who come to us very clear about the fact that they’re not writers. They let us do our thing and we let them do theirs — namely share with us all the experience that has led them to have a story that will make a great book.

It’s not about how interesting your story is. It’s about how it’s told.

WANT TO WRITE A MEMOIR? DOWNLOAD MY ONE-PAGE MEMOIR STRUCTURE CHEAT SHEET HERE.

Why Everything You Think You Know About Book Publishing is Wrong

I’ve spent the past couple of months breaking down the major myths when it comes to book publishing but reading is hard (side note: I just read this story about how Gwyneth Paltrow and lots of other people want to look like they read without having to bother with the reading part — um WTF). 

I’m not calling you a Gwyneth, which is the name I’m going to use for non-readers from now on. You’re reading these words after all, aren’t you?

People think they need an amazing story, ridiculous talent and great connections to publish a book. They think that they need to have survived a plane crash that killed everyone else, set a world record or Just Done Some Big Shit in General. They think they need to have the talent of Jonathan Franzen, Jonathan Safran Foer, Jonathan Lethem and every other Jonathan who’s ever put finger to keyboard combined. They think that they need to know the top brass at the top publishing companies or at least a couple of agents.

Total lies.

All you need is a story. 

The Fact That You Only Need a Story is Good News

Why is this good? Because everyone, save some terribly boring people who would never be reading this post, has a story. 

But here’s the rub. Just putting your story or thoughts or experiences into a book isn’t enough. It’s the whole tree falling in the woods thing. If no one reads your book, it’s called a diary.

You have to get out there and share your book.

The House Above Is a Metaphor, Yo

If you’ve built your house correctly (that is, written a great book), it’s on a solid foundation—much like the house above.

Still, it’s up to you to get the world to see it.

You can do that in any way you like but just tweeting out your book link or sending a newsletter to your email list isn’t going to do much. Trust me on this one. After publishing eight books of my own and publishing countless others, I’ll tell you the four ways I believe are most effective: blog posts, podcast appearances, videos and speaking.

Those are, if you will, the windows into your story.

Of course, this is all easier said than done.

Start with Blog Posts

Looking at the to-do list above, it’s clear that the only one you can control is the blog posting one.

Here’s the easiest way to make your book into blog posts: divide your manuscript into 1000 word sections that could make stand-alone pieces. Add titles and images. Post them on Medium as well as on your own blog, if you have one.

Moving Onto Podcasts

Getting on podcasts isn’t as difficult as you might think, provided you have the right approach. Anna Sabino has some great resources about this—just go to her site to download the exact email she used to get booked on over 50 podcasts. But here are a few of my top tips:

Compile a list of podcasts you’d like to go on; be realistic (Joe Rogan, Marc Maron and the other heavyweights are not realistic)
Listen to at least three episodes of the show you’re interested in appearing on before reaching out; get to know who the host is and the gist of the show.
Figure out how to get in touch with the host or booker (some shows make this difficult, some easy; if there’s no contact information readily available, try to connect over social media).
Show your personality in your pitch. Be you; don’t be boring. If you’re a genuine fan of the show, let the host/booker know. If you’ve reviewed the show on Itunes, definitely let them know!
Explain in the fewest number of words possible why you are an ideal guest for the show and what specifically you can talk about that would appeal to that show’s listeners (possibly mention shows you liked which your episode might be similar to); mention, if it’s relevant, other podcasts you’ve been on that this show producer/host may know.
Break down how you would share and promote the episode you’re on (if you have a big social media following or access in some other way to an audience that show doesn’t, mention that).
Offer a copy of your book to the host and also offer to give one away to listeners.
Include a link or links to your work which shows how impressive you are.
If it’s a show where guests offer freebie downloads in conjunction with their appearances (many of the entrepreneur podcasts do this), offer to create one. Also, make it clear that you will share the episode widely with your audience (and perhaps point out why it’s a segment of the population the host or booker might like to reach).


Which Brings Us to Videos

There are two types of videos that are easy and effective ways to promote your book:

Book “Trailer” Videos The easiest way to make promo videos (what we used to call “book trailers”) is to use the Clips app. I can’t edit to save my life but Clips makes it so easy to add text, photos and music that it makes me feel like I can. Here are a few examples of videos I made to promote some of my courses using Clips. Clips is, miraculously, free.

“Expert” Videos The easiest way for you to craft the content of your book into videos that enhance your credibility is with the BIGVU app. It, like Clips, is a God-send. All you have to do is copy content (some version of what you’re releasing as individual blog posts) onto the app and it will feed the words to you as if you’re reading a teleprompter. Afterward, you can add a chyron title, music or whatever else you’d like and then export it to Facebook, Twitter, YouTube or your camera. It’s $59.99 a year—a bargain considering what it does.

And Finally, Speaking

Truth talk: it’s not like TEDx bookers aren’t just going to start reaching out to you because you have a book. When I did my three TEDx talks in 2018, it took a ton of hustle. 

But TEDx isn’t the only game in town. You can show up at Toastmasters, BNI or any professional bureau where people speak to start getting practice. Then you can start asking friends who are teachers and business owners if you can come speak to their classes or colleagues.

Whenever you speak, make sure it’s caught on tape and once you have a few different clips, make that into a reel that you submit to other places where you can get paid speaking gigs. Those who want to speak at colleges can apply to NACA while people who hope to speak at conferences can Google conferences in their area and reach out to the organizers.

Of Course, Your Book Promotion Doesn’t End There

There’s way more to do this than crafting blog posts, making a few videos, going on a couple of podcasts and nabbing those speaking gigs. There are actually a slew of other tips and techniques that will make all the time or money (or both) that you spent producing your magnum opus more than worthwhile. 

Since one book can make you an expert, you owe it to yourself to work your book as much as you possibly can. And if I haven’t already made it clear, you owe it to yourself to get your book written and out there.

After all, Gwyneth has and she doesn’t even read!

WANT TO WRITE A MEMOIR? DOWNLOAD MY ONE-PAGE MEMOIR STRUCTURE CHEAT SHEET HERE.

Why You Don't Hear From Your Publisher Once Your Book is Out

Last week, I told you that 99 percent of authors don’t hear from their publishers once their book is out.

Seems weird, right?

These are people, after all, who often paid good money to publish your book. They were very encouraging along the way.

So why are they ghosting you?

They’re ghosting you because even more than the entertainment business, even more than our current economy, the publishing business is divided into the haves and the have-nots.

Publishing Houses Know They’ll Lose Money on Most of Their Books

They’re banking on the Glennon Doyle’s and Brené Brown’s to make up for that.

In other words, they’re banking on the fact that they’ll have a few books that will sell millions and that will make up for all those other books they lost money on — books by people who think their lives will change as a result of those books.

I remember a famous-ish writer I met telling me that his publisher didn’t do anything to support him and his book…until the book suddenly, surprisingly, became a hit.

That’s when the publisher support started.

That’s when they put money toward ads and began trying to get him booked on NPR.

Publishers Want the Low-Hanging Fruit

No matter how much they may like a book, they probably won’t do much for it unless the book doesn’t need help. (Think of it as something as crazy as celebrities — that is, those who can most afford to buy expensive clothes — getting sent free clothes.)

If you’re not one of the chosen few, you may get responses from your publishing house in the weeks after your release when you reach out to them…usually that they pitched you to some local radio and are still waiting to hear back.

You turn on Good Morning America and see an author who’s with the same publishing house as you giving an interview.

You seethe.

You vow not to check your Amazon number but then check your Amazon number.

You refresh Amazon.

You cry.

You go out and all anyone does is ask you how your book’s doing.

I know this not only because it happened to me six times but because it’s happened to a good three dozen writers I know.

And I’m one of the lucky ones! I have a book that hit the New York Times bestseller list. My books have received coverage from The Today Show, Cosmo, The Talk and everywhere in between.

But Here’s the Thing: I Made It Happen on My Own

I got myself on The Today Show, got Cosmo to cover my books. My publisher didn’t do anything because they were too busy doing things for the Elizabeth Gilberts.

Why, I couldn’t help but wonder, have a publisher at all when they weren’t doing anything except making me feel irrelevant?

A writer friend, one who’s published four books but now talks about getting his teaching credentials, once said to me, “I feel so sorry for people the week a big publishing house releases their book.”

It sounds hyperbolic to say it’s traumatic but I don’t know what else to call it when you watch your dreams not so much go up in flames but just never catch fire at all.

When you face the fact that your book is two sticks and will remain two sticks, you have two options.

You Can Give Up or You Can Look for Another Way

After years of choosing the former — contemplating trying to get a career in advertising and then spinning my wheels trying to make a living editing websites — I chose the latter.

That’s when I launched a hybrid traditional/self-publishing company that helps people write and publish their books.

That’s when I got to put all those years of slugging it out with traditional publishing to use.

Now I get to help already successful people become bestselling authors and it’s infinitely more satisfying than the time I spent writing my own books for the big publishers.

WANT TO LEARN TO TELL YOUR STORY WELL? DOWNLOAD MY ONE-PAGE MEMOIR STRUCTURE CHEAT SHEET HERE.

You Don't Have to Be That Talented to Become a Bestselling Author

I’m in myth breakdown mode when it comes to the road to author bestseller-dom. 

Today we’re tackling talent.

There’s a popular meme floating around the web: “Great writing is 3% talent and 97% not getting distracted by the Internet.” It is often accompanied by an image of a person who appears overwhelmed while staring at her computer screen.

I’d like to offer an amendment to that. It’s not as cute-sounding but from what I can see, it’s just as much, if not more, accurate.

“Succeeding as a writer is 3% talent and 97% not giving up year after year.”

Because here’s the thing: the most successful writers I know aren’t the most talented. I know fiercely, skin-tinglingly talented ones who have to pay the rent by working at gossip magazines or worse.

I know not particularly talented ones who rake in accolades, money or both.

It’s not about talent.

It’s about what you do with the talent you have.

And it’s about following the second-most popular adage when it comes to writing: “Writing is rewriting.”

How do I know this? Because I’ve both taken and taught a plethora of writing classes; I even majored in Creative Writing in college. It was, of course, an utterly useless degree but it did teach me one thing: writing can’t be taught.

Here’s what you do when you’re a Creative Writing major:

1) You write stories.

2) You workshop those stories, which means that your teacher and classmates read them and then provide feedback.

3) You rewrite your stories based on that feedback.

At no point do you get lessons on how to write stories because it is presumed, if you choose to major in something as useless as Creative Writing, that you a) are delusional and b) already know how to write short stories.

Most of my fellow students didn’t become writers.

You know who did? Plenty of people I know who didn’t major in Creative Writing.

They are people who’ve spent years and years and years honing their craft, possibly subscribing to the Malcolm Gladwell popularized belief that you have to do something for 10,000 hours to develop mastery over it but probably going well over that allotted time frame.

It’s not about being a gifted writer.

How do I know?

Martin Amis is a gifted writer.

Jennifer Egan is a gifted writer.

Philip Roth was a gifted writer.

I’m not a gifted writer.

I’m quite good in that I have a lot of practice obsessing over words and placing them together in a way that can best articulate my feelings while also sounding both original and clever.

I’m good.

But I’m not gifted.

Despite not being a gifted writer, I’ve had a great career, in some form or function, for the past two decades.

That is because I didn’t give up.

And in doing so, I’ve made the most of the talent I have.

WANT TO LEARN TO TELL YOUR STORY WELL? DOWNLOAD MY ONE-PAGE MEMOIR STRUCTURE CHEAT SHEET HERE.

You Don't Have to Have Any Connections to Become a Bestseller

Last week I wrote about how you don’t need to be well-connected to become a best-selling author. Today I’m writing about how you don’t need any connections at all.

Here’s the deal: when I sold my first book to HarperCollins, in 2005, I sniffed at self-publishing.

When I sold my second book, I had the same attitude.

And on and on, through my sixth book.

When I ran into people I considered non-writers and they told me they’d published a book, I immediately inquired, “Traditional or…?”

I usually let the sentence trail off into the ether, the word “self-publishing” too anathema for me to even utter.

Then something happened.

Publishing Broke

That first book deal was for $50,000, a number which disappointed me terribly at the time. I knew people who were getting $200 and $300k book deals so I felt terribly disregarded.

Ah, the sweet ignorance of youth.

My final book deal, roughly seven years later, was for $2,000.

Yes, $2,000.

I had been paid $5,000 for a magazine cover story that consisted of interviewing a celebrity for an hour and then shaping the transcript into a 1000-word story and suddenly I was getting less than half of that for a book.

Oh, and those people I knew who were netting six-figure book deals?

They weren’t earning out their advances… not even close. In fact, they were losing their publishing companies so much money that they’d essentially rendered themselves black-listed.

They could never sell another book. Who would make a deal, after all, with a writer who’d lost HarperCollins or St. Martin’s or another of the Big Five mid-six figures?

At the Same Time, Self-Publishing Exploded

Self-published books like The Martian and Still Alice became hit movies.

I watched James Altucher self-publish Choose Yourself and sell 45,000 copies in the first month while my friends with traditionally published books were talking about going back to school and getting teaching credentials.

Speaking of Altucher, he wrote in a blog post called “How to Self-Publish a Bestseller”:

The distinction now is no longer between “traditional publishing” versus “self-publishing.” The distinction now is between PROFESSIONAL versus UNPROFESSIONAL publishing.

My first ten books were done unprofessionally. Even the ones with the big publishing houses.

I couldn’t agree with him more.

Still, getting a deal with a major publishing house isn’t an option for most people; the big ones are rumored to accept roughly 3 out of every 10,000 submitted proposals.

The big publishing houses also take between a year and two years to release a book.

The big publishing houses also choose to support very few of the books they release and thus do very little to help the authors of the books they have not selected.

How do I know this? Because all six times I went with a big publisher, I was one of the authors whose book had not been selected.

It took me a few years to catch onto the fact that the line between traditional and self-publishing had disintegrated so much that they had in fact switched places.

There are no gatekeepers now.

WANT TO LEARN TO TELL YOUR STORY WELL? DOWNLOAD MY ONE-PAGE MEMOIR STRUCTURE CHEAT SHEET HERE.

Trust Me, You Don't Want a Traditional Book Deal

I’ve written about this a lot lately…and that’s because it’s true. Last week, I focused on how publishing broke about a decade ago.

This isn’t sour grapes stemming from the fact that my last book “advance” didn’t net me enough to cover the cost of the coffee I consumed while writing it.

This is because traditional publishing is a countdown to heartbreak. The call from your agent saying that your book sold is the good part.

It’s all downhill from there.

If You Don’t Believe Me, Consider This

You spend months and months and months crafting this book hoping to get validation from your editor.

If your editor is like most editors in the book business (overworked and underpaid), he or she will probably switch to another publishing house during this time.

If that doesn’t happen, you’ll be working with someone who is, well, overworked and underpaid and that will show in the person’s dealings with you.

It may not show in expected ways.

Here’s how it showed up for me: I do not believe that the man who is credited with having edited my second, third and fourth books ever read them.

“They look great,” was all he ever said to me.

For books two and three, I assumed this was because I was that good.

“My editor didn’t even have any notes!” I remember explaining to a writer friend, who seemed suitably impressed.

Then I briefly dated another writer who shared my editor and I saw the notes he gave and edits he did on that guy’s book.

That guy was a name writer — the one who became the publishing house’s focus whenever he released a book — and, well, in the writer’s words, the editor “pissed all over it.”

This didn’t mean the editor tore it apart; he just made notes on every page, scratching out certain word choices and replacing them with other words — not to make the book better but just to make it different.

He wanted his stamp on a book he knew would hit.

He didn’t care about any others.

When my editor was eventually fired, I heard that they found stacks of unread books in his desk — not unsolicited submissions but books he’d “edited.”

But here’s the thing: the real problem with traditional publishing isn’t that you get slapped with an overworked and underpaid editor who probably won’t care about your book.

The Real Problem is That the Expectations are so High

You have, after all, been at this project for at least two years if you factor in the amount of time you spent writing the proposal.

That means that for two years, people have been talking to you about your book.

You’ve had two years of anticipation.

You’ve had two years of saying, “Yes, it’s being published by Harper’s” or “Simon & Schuster” or insert-name-of-other-publishing-house-you-are-proud-to-be-associated with.

You would never go through this if you didn’t believe, at least somewhere inside, that your book would be a massive hit.

Sure, you’ve doubted yourself through the process but at the same time you’ve been able to picture “New York Times bestselling author” next to your name.

You’ve secretly envisioned rave reviews, pictured yourself discussing your book with Rachel Maddow or Terry Gross or, if things really go your way, Jimmy Fallon.

And then…that doesn’t happen.

I remember the writer Joel Stein once tweeting during one of his book releases something along the lines of, “Having a book come out is just like having a movie come out…except no one cares.”

I would add to that: it’s like having a movie come out — one that you starred in, produced, wrote and directed — with the full expectation that the production company or studio that acquired it would help.

Or if not help, exactly, at least be there.

But you don’t hear from them. 

Or from Rachel Maddow, Terry Gross or Jimmy Fallon.

Instead, you hear from—well, everyone asking you how your book is “doing.” You either tell them the truth—you have no idea—or you lie and say, “Great!” I actually recommend lying because if you tell them that you have no idea—that your editor, on the occasions when he does get back to you, says that he doesn’t know because book sales aren’t actually accurately logged—these people will ask you why the hell you’ve gotten involved in such a ridiculous profession and you may not know what to say.

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