Scott LaPierre's Blog: Scott LaPierre | Living God's Way | Pastor, Author, and Speaker, page 37

5 reasons Deborah supports male leadership

Judges were Israel’s primary rulers for almost three-and-a-half centuries. They also commanded armies, making them some of Scripture’s strongest leaders. So why did Deborah serve as judge? Her position is often the first mentioned to support female leadership. Does she conflict with God’s pattern of male leadership? Let’s take a look! 1. There’s no mention of […]

The post 5 reasons Deborah supports male leadership appeared first on Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre.

Male Leadership Is God’s Pattern

The pattern of male leadership in the community of faith began at creation. Then it’s maintained throughout Scripture: There were patriarchs instead of matriarchs. The tribes of Israel were named after men. The only legitimate mediators between God and people were men (i.e., priests instead of priestesses). God appointed kings instead of queens. God called […]

The post Male Leadership Is God’s Pattern appeared first on Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre.

5 Christian reminders for the 4th of July

The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays, because of the Christian reminders that come with it. 1. The 4th of of July can remind us that our nation was founded by men who recognized God was their Creator. The 4th of July celebrates the adopting of the Declaration of Independence by Congress on […]

The post 5 Christian reminders for the 4th of July appeared first on Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre.

How can a wife give her husband accountability?

During a Facebook Live video a woman asked: “How can a wife give her husband accountability in the area of sexual purity?” I interpreted this to be a question about pornography, which I see causing terrible problems in the home and the church. It robs men of their dignity, makes them passive, and destroys initiative and motivation. It stops men from being the leaders they should be in the home and the church. When men look at pornography they won’t feel comfortable praying, reading the Word, or leading in their home or church.

As a result of these consequences, I was glad to answer the woman’s question. Although, since I didn’t have time to prepare my response, I wasn’t as thorough as I would’ve liked. Here’s the video containing my answer, and below that is the post that’s more thorough.

1. Pray for his salvation if he’s unsaved

A pattern of unbroken sin is evidence of being unsaved (1 John 3:4-9). There’s a good chance that a husband who habitually looks at pornography isn’t saved. Pray for his salvation. As an unregenerate man there’s little chance he’ll develop victory over his addiction in his own effort. He needs the indwelling Holy Spirit helping him.

2. Communicate how difficult it is to respect him when he looks at pornography

When our children are only a few months old we don’t punish them, because they don’t know better and they lack self-control. Growing up means knowing better and developing self-control. When men look at things they shouldn’t it’s not masculine. Instead, they’re showing they’re like babies who have no self-control. Pornography turns men into boys (or babies). This is why few (if any) things destroy a wife’s respect for her husband faster than pornography. A wife should pray for the opportunity to share with her husband respectfully, but honestly, how difficult his sin makes it for her to respect him.

3. Encourage him to find an accountability partner

When I counsel a man struggling with pornography, I do not send him back to his wife for accountability:

She will understandably be speaking more out of her personal hurt. This prevents her from giving him the objective, honest counsel he needs. It’s beneficial when another man can look him in the eyes and tell him the problems he’s causing himself and his wife.
Women have different struggles with men. She will not be able to relate to her husband the way another man can. Men tend to struggle with purity visually. Women tend to struggle with purity emotionally, thinking of how much better another man would treat her.
A husband will not want to share his failure with his wife, because of shame, but also because of the pain he knows it will cause her.

For these reasons it’s best if men receive accountability from other men. Perhaps a godly friend or elder in the church who can correct him.

 4. Strive for brokenness over anger

Understandably wives are angry when their husbands look at pornography, but James 1:20 says, “the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” Often the anger produces fighting and arguments. A wife’s brokenness over her husband’s sin will encourage him to feel terrible about what he’s doing.

5. Set an example that convicts him

1 Peter 3:1 and 2 says, “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.” If a wife wants her husband to a godly man, she should be a godly woman. No husband with a spiritual wife can sit at home being unspiritual and lame without feeling ashamed. The wife’s Christ-like example will convict him to change, and this is one of the best ways for a her to be her husband’s helper.

Be encouraged that Jesus promised the Holy Spirit would convict

In John 16:8 Jesus said, “The Holy Spirit will convict the world of sin.” A husband might pretend that he is not convicted, and his wife might not be able to tell by looking at him that he feels convicted, but he does. In contrast, when a wife is unsubmissive, angry, and nagging, the husband does not see God through her and as a result avoids feeling convicted at all.

Discussion Questions:

What other ways can a wife help her husband with accountability?
Do you see some other encouragements for wives when their husbands struggle with pornography?

The post How can a wife give her husband accountability? appeared first on Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre.

5 reasons it is “not good for man to be alone”

In Genesis 2:18 God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.” In six days God created dry land, sun, moon, stars, sea creatures, birds, and animals. At the end of each day, “God saw that it was good” (Genesis 1:4, 10, 12, 18, 21, 25). But for the first time in the creation account He saw something that was not good—man being alone.

God’s statement is even more interesting when we consider that Adam and Eve had not yet disobeyed. We don’t typically think of anything being “not good” until after the fall. Since Adam had not sinned yet, it was not Adam himself who was not good. Neither was it anything he had or had not done that was not good. It was simply Adam’s being alone that was not good. Here are five reasons why it isn’t good for man to be alone:

1. It is not good for man to be alone, because he won’t have the help he needs

Leading and providing for a family is a lot of work, and a wife can help lighten that load. This is why Paul said, “Man was not created for woman, but woman for the man” (1 Corinthians 11:9). A lot of discouragement can come a husband’s way, and if he does not receive encouragement from his wife, where will he get it? Yes, there are other resources such as Scripture and relying on the Lord, but if that was all God wanted men to have, He would not have said, “I will make him a helper.”

2. It is not good for man to be alone, because he won’t receive the blessing of fulfilling God’s second command

In Genesis 2:18 God said, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.” Whenever the Bible discusses children they’re always presented very positively. Psalm 127:3-5 says:

Behold, children are a heritage (some translations say “gift”) from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

So are the children of one’s youth.

Blessed is the man who has his quiver full of them;

They shall not be ashamed,

But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Psalm 128 is titled something close to, “Blessings for Those Who Fear the LORD.” The main blessing is children as verses 1, 3-4 record:

Blessed is every one who fears the Lord,

Who walks in His ways…

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine

In the very heart of your house,

Your children like olive plants

All around your table.

Behold, thus shall the man be blessed

Who fears the Lord.

It was a sign of God’s blessing when He multiplied children:

Deuteronomy 7 records the blessings for obedience under the Old Covenant, and verse 13 says: “He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb.”
The blessings for obedience under the Old Covenant are again repeated in Deuteronomy 28, and verse 4 says, “Blessed shall be the fruit of your body.”



3. It is not good for man to be alone, because he won’t be able to satisfy the desires God has given him

God has given men (and women) healthy desires that He wants satisfied within marriage. The desires are sexual (Hebrews 13:4), emotional, mental, and spiritual. People can have great friends, but they should not take the place of a husband or wife. God wants people to have a companion through life, and part of the reason He created marriage is to see that fulfilled.

4. It is not good for man to be alone, because he won’t have the benefit of a woman’s influence

While it is not always the case, it is common for married men to become gentler and more sensitive. After Katie and I were married, my parents frequently told me how much she influenced me for the better.

5. It is not good for man to be alone, because he won’t experience the sanctification marriage provides

God accomplishes much of the work He wants to do in our lives through marriage. After Scripture and the Holy Spirit, marriage is the greatest way God teaches us forgiveness, sacrifice, patience, dying to self, and the list goes on. When people remain single they can often develop a greater selfishness as they are able to live only for themselves. Once married they should be living for their spouses, and this is wonderfully sanctifying.

Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord”

This is a nice companion verse to Genesis 2:18. When a man receives a wife, he should see her this way. He should understand he is not receiving something neutral or amoral. To illustrate how much of a good thing a wife is, consider God’s observation when He finished creating the heavens and the earth: “Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good. So the evening and the morning were the sixth day” (Genesis 1:31).

A wife takes “not good” and makes it “very good”

This is the end of the sixth day, but earlier in the day, in Genesis 2:18, God observed, “This is not good.” What changed to go from “not good” to “good”? God created a woman. That is how good women are. That is how much of a good thing a wife is:

When a husband thinks about his wife, he should see her as someone who takes him from “not good” to “very good.”
When a wife thinks about her husband, she should think about helping him move from “not good” to “very good.”

Discussion Questions

Of the five reasons why it is not good for man to be alone, which stood out to you the most? Why?
How can a wife encourage her husband?
First Corinthians 11:9 says, “Man was not created for woman, but woman for man.” What application does this have for your marriage?
How has God taught you forgiveness, sacrifice, patience, and dying to self in your marriage?
How can a wife treat her husband so that he sees her as a “good thing” and as “favor from the Lord?”

[image error]NOTE: Most of this post is from Marriage God’s Way and the Marriage God’s Way Workbook.  Save 0 and purchase the bundle—one book and two workbooks!

The post 5 reasons it is “not good for man to be alone” appeared first on Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre.

4 reasons wives should be encouraged being called “helper”

In Genesis 2:18 God said, “It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.” God could’ve created Eve and given her to Adam. Instead, He had Adam name the animals for two reasons:

Establish Adam’s headship over creation
Reveal Adam’s lack of a helper

Genesis 2:20 records, “So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.” Adam noticed the animals were in pairs, but he was not part of any pair. With Adam longing for a mate, God was ready to create Eve.

A Helper Comparable to Him

The Hebrew word for “helper” is ezer. It means “help” or “one who helps.” The word occurs twenty-one times in the Old Testament, including twice in Genesis 2, first in verse 18 and then in verse 20 when Adam named the animals and could not find “a helper comparable to him.”

Some women might find it offensive to be identified as their husbands’ “helpers,” but the title is not a criticism of Eve’s insufficiency. Instead, it is an identification of Adam’s inadequacy! In the Amplified Bible Genesis 2:18 reads: “Now the Lord God said, ‘It is not good [sufficient, satisfactory] that the man should be alone.’” Woman is the helper man needs because he is not sufficient without her! God created woman to remove man’s deficiency. In Holding Hands, Holding Hearts (pp. 26–27) Richard and Sharon Phillips write:

To call a woman a helper is not to emphasize her weakness, but her strength. Not to label her as superfluous but as essential to Adam’s condition and to God’s purpose in the world. Helper is a position of dignity given to the woman by God Himself.

Here are four reasons wives should be encouraged being identified as their husband’s helper!

1. Ezer describes great strength and support

Ezer is never used in Scripture for something negative, such as a sycophant, minion, or slave. Consider these verses:

Deuteronomy 33:29—Happy are you, O Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord, the shield of your help (ezer) and the sword of your majesty!
Ezekiel 12:14—I will scatter to every wind all who are around him to help (ezer) him, and all his troops.

Considering this context, identifying woman as her husband’s ezer reveals her as a powerful and influential companion.

 2. God is called Helper (Ezer)

Eleven of the nineteen times ezer is used outside Genesis 2 occur in Psalms. Each time it describes God as our helper. Some examples include:

Psalm 33:20—Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help (ezer) and our shield.
Psalm 70:5—Make haste to me, O God! You are my help (ezer) and my deliverer.
Psalm 115:9—O Israel, trust in the Lord; He is their help (ezer) and their shield.

The very title used to describe a woman’s role is a title used to describe God Himself. Since we do not let the identification of God as our helper make us think less of God, we should apply that same thinking to wives as their husbands’ helpers.

 3. The Holy Spirit is called Helper

Helper is the title Jesus used for the Holy Spirit when He promised not to abandon the disciples after His departure:

“I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper.”—John 14:16
“The Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name.”—John 14:26
“It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you.”—John 16:7

It’s a privilege for women to carry the same title given to the Holy Spirit! It is clear that the title of ezer or helper is not one of inferiority but of honor.

 4. Helping is very commendable

Thinking biblically, helping and serving are two of the most admirable actions we can engage in as Christians. Jesus modeled such behavior and called His followers to do the same in Matthew 20:26–28:

Whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.

Few actions are commanded as often in Scripture or look more like Christ than helping and serving. As a result, wives should find it encouraging to be called their husbands’ helpers. They should not let society’s stereotypes influence their thinking about being a wife. Instead, they should joyfully embrace the role God has given them. In the Above Rubies article, “Do You Feel Downgraded?” Nancy Campbell writes:

[Ladies] are you feeling base and discouraged? Don’t listen to these lies any longer. Lift up your head and embrace your mandate from God. You are not working for any earthly employer, but for the King of kings and Lord of lords, the Sovereign God of the universe. When He calls you a helper you can hold your head high.

Discussion Questions

These sections contain a number of reasons a wife should be encouraged by being identified as her husband’s helper. Which ones most stood out to you?
The world has created many false stereotypes about a wife’s role in her husband’s life.

Wife: How are any stereotypes tempting you to think falsely about your role as a wife? What can you do to resist these influences?
Husband: What can you do to help your wife resist being influenced by the world’s stereotypes?

[image error]NOTE: Most of this post is taken from the Introduction in Marriage God’s Way. The book is currently 20% off, the workbook is 25% off, and you can receive FREE shipping on orders over $20!

The post 4 reasons wives should be encouraged being called “helper” appeared first on Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre.

Complementarianism Versus Egalitarianism

What is complementarianism? Egalitarianism? Is one biblical? Unbiblical? Read on!

God created Eve because He wanted Adam to have “a helper comparable to him” (Genesis 2:18). The Hebrew word for “comparable” is neged. Other translations say:

NASB & NIV—“suitable for him”
ESV—“fit for him”
HCSB—“his complement”

The literal translation actually means “opposite or contrasting.” Men and women were designed to fit in all ways. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. When a husband and wife become one flesh at their wedding, they perfectly complement each other. Together, they become something stronger and more magnificent than they could be alone. The strengths of each compensate for the weaknesses of the other:

When a husband thinks about his wife, he should see her as God’s suitable companion for him.
When a wife thinks about her husband, she should see herself as God’s perfect fit for him.

We should give thanks to God for His wonderful design and do everything we can to fulfill the roles He has given us as husband and wife. One of the best ways to do this is by embracing the different roles and responsibilities He gave men and women.

What is egalitarianism?

Egalitarianism is the rejection of the different roles and responsibilities. Egalitarians believe God does not have separate and distinct plans for men and women. They see them interchangeably. Homosexual marriage, transgenderism, and bisexuality are simply extreme forms of egalitarianism.

The Scripture most cited by egalitarians is Galatians 3:28:

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Using the verse to support egalitarianism takes it out of context because it deals with salvation. Everyone, whether Jew, Gentile, slave, free, male, or female is saved by grace through faith apart from the law and works (Galatians 3:1–25). If Paul were saying men and women are identical in terms of responsibilities, he would be contradicting numerous Scriptures he wrote outlining the differences between the genders.

Bible scholar James Fowler explains:

Egalitarian assertions are based on false premises. [Identical] responsibilities and authority produces the chaos of no one having ultimate authority or responsibility. The egalitarian premises of socialistic communism are unworkable. Identity, value and worth are not found in gender function, but in a personal Being beyond ourselves.

What is complementarianism?

Complementarianism, on the other hand, teaches that God has separate and distinct responsibilities for men and women. This allows them to balance and support each other. Complementarians recognize the gender roles in Scripture are meaningful. When embraced they promote spiritual and emotional health that allows people to reach their God-given potential.

Genesis 1:27, 5:2, and Mark 10:6 state:

God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

The emphasis is not on God’s creating people but on His creating two different types of humans. One male and one female. The rest of Scripture reveals the distinct plans for each. Although men and women equally share God’s image and together have dominion over creation, God designed them differently in order to accomplish His purposes.

A poor criticism of complementarianism

Egalitarians claim complementarianism is chauvinistic. One gender is supposedly superior to the other. But a difference in roles and responsibilities doesn’t mean a difference in value. Two people can be different and equal. Men and women can have the same significance while not being identical. God’s very nature supports this in that there are three different Persons with distinct roles, but there is still equality.

Pastor David Guzik states in his commentary on Genesis 1:

In our day, many say there is no real difference between men and women. This makes sense if we are the result of mindless evolution, but the Bible says “male and female He created them.” To God, the differences between men and women are not accidents. Since He created them, the differences are good and meaningful. One of the saddest signs of our culture’s depravity is the amount and the degree of gender confusion today. It is vain to wonder if men or women are superior to the other. A man is absolutely superior at being a man. A woman is absolutely superior at being a woman. But when a man tries to be a woman or a woman tries to be a man, you have something inferior.

The real tragedy with egalitarianism

We can’t expect unbelievers to agree with God’s Word and accept complementarianism. The real tragedy is when Christians hold to an egalitarian view. They see no differences between men and women’s roles in the home or the church. Such individuals may not condone such outright sins as homosexuality and transgenderism, but they indirectly support these agendas by denying the gender roles and undermining God’s Word.

Just as men are needed in the home and the church in crucial ways, so women are needed in the home and the church in crucial ways. But the way each gender is needed is different. We must maintain the distinctions between men and women if we are to obey God’s Word.

Discussion Questions:

Were you taught a complementarian or egalitarian view of marriage? If egalitarian, are you willing to reserve judgment and openly receive what the Bible teaches about distinctions between husbands’ and wives’ roles and responsibilities? Why or why not?
In what ways has egalitarianism influenced Western culture?
Considering what you read about complementarianism, how would you refute the egalitarian assumption that a difference in roles and responsibilities implies a difference in equality, importance, or value.”
In what ways do you and your spouse complement each other?

[image error]NOTE: Most of this post is taken from the Introduction in Marriage God’s Way. The book is currently 20% off, the workbook is 25% off, and you can receive FREE shipping on orders over $20!

The post Complementarianism Versus Egalitarianism appeared first on Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre.

Eve created from Adam: 4 fascinating points

We are so familiar with the creation of Eve that it’s easy to miss the importance of some details. If we approach the account as though it’s our first time reading it, a number of significant points arise…

1. Eve wasn’t created “out of the ground”

One recurring theme has been God’s creation of living things from ordinary dirt:

Genesis 2:7—And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life.
Genesis 2:9—And out of the ground the Lord God made every tree grow.
Genesis 2:19—Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air.

With this repetition, we would expect to read: “The Lord God formed woman of the dust of the ground, and breathed into her nostrils the breath of life; and woman became a living being.” Instead, Genesis 2:21–23 says:

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

In being fashioned from Adam, Eve has the unique distinction of being the only part of creation not created out of the ground. Since Adam was created in the image and likeness of God, Eve was just as wonderfully created in the image and likeness of God. Also, while God created woman from man, He brought forth every other human being since Eve from woman. 1 Corinthians 11:8–9, 11–12 records:

For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man . . . Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord. For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman.

2. Eve was created from Adam’s own DNA

God performed history’s first surgery by using Adam’s body to fashion Eve. What modern science reveals about this is fascinating. Every cell in our bodies contains our entire genetic blueprint or DNA. Therefore, God could take some of Adam’s cells and use their DNA to create Eve. The reverse, however, would not have been possible, because men’s DNA contains both X and Y chromosomes (XY), while women’s DNA contains only X chromosomes (XX).

If God had created woman first, it would have been impossible to create man. There would be no Y chromosomes, which is the chromosome that determines male gender. Adam had the genetic material—both X and Y chromosomes—for a woman to be created from his DNA, allowing for the reproduction of men and women.

3. Eve was created from Adam’s side (not only his rib)

The Hebrew word for rib is tsela. The word occurs forty-one times in the Old Testament, but only in Genesis 2:21–22 is it translated “rib.” Nineteen times tsela is translated as “side” and eleven times as “chamber.” Here are a few examples:

Exodus 25:12—You shall cast four rings of gold for [the ark], and put them in its four corners; two rings shall be on one side (tsela), and two rings on the other side (tsela).
2 Samuel 16:13—And as David and his men went along the road, Shimei went along the hillside (tsela) opposite him and cursed as he went.
1 Kings 6:8—The doorway for the middle story was on the right side (tsela) of the temple.

Eve came from much more than Adam’s rib. This is also made clear by Adam’s words in Genesis 2:23 when he calls Eve “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.”

4. Eve was created from Adam so husbands and wives would see themselves as “one flesh”

Immediately after Eve was created and given to Adam, Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This is an odd statement since Adam and Eve are the only people in history with no “father and mother.” Therefore, this verse is not primarily about them but is instructive for all future marriages. God wanted Adam and Eve to understand the unity between them, but more importantly He wanted all future husbands and wives to see the same unity between them.

Discussion Questions:

Why did God choose to create Adam from Eve’s side rather than from the “dust of the ground” as He had done with every other living creature (including Adam) up to that point?
Why does Genesis 2:24 mention man leaving father and mother, when Adam had no earthly father or mother?
Do you see any other reasons God created Eve from Adam?

[image error]NOTE: Most of this post is from Marriage God’s Way and the Marriage God’s Way Workbook.  Save 0 and purchase the bundle—one book and two workbooks!

The post Eve created from Adam: 4 fascinating points appeared first on Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre.

Don’t confuse discipline and trials

A woman wrote me about a miscarriage she experienced. She asked if she was being punished. It was heartbreaking. Miscarriages are painful enough without having to wonder if God is upset with you.

We experience trials because we live in a fallen world

Trials take place as long as we’re on this side of heaven, but they’re not our fault. Why does God allow them? He uses them to:

Mature us: “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing” (James 1:2–4; see also Romans 5:3–5).
Strengthen our faith: “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:6–7).

As I look back at trials I’ve experienced, they were painful, but I’m thankful for them. God used them for my benefit.

We experience discipline because we sinned

Hebrews 12:5­–6 records:

And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.”

God punishes us when we sin. He wants to produce fruit and righteousness in our lives. While this doesn’t feel good, we should embrace the chastening, understanding God is doing something worthwhile. The author of Hebrews goes on to say in verses 11–13:

Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.

How true are these verses! If you think about the chiropractor analogy, nice, gentle back rubs feel good. They are enjoyable. But they don’t do much for our lower back problems. If we really want to grow, we must experience discomfort. The Greek word for “trained” is gymnazo, and it’s related to the English word “gymnasium.” It means to exercise vigorously. Improving is hard work. As a result, there are two things we need to do when God is chastening us:

Give ourselves the exhortation the author of Hebrews gives his readers and strengthen our weak hands and feet, trusting God to make straight paths for us. It is not easy or enjoyable to deal with our weaknesses, but that is how we allow God to work.
Repent—turn from our sin.

The huge problem with confusing discipline and trials

If you’re suffering because of something you did, that’s not a trial. You’re being disciplined for your sin. It was unfortunate when that woman experienced a miscarriage and thought it was her fault. But it’s also unfortunate when people sin, are disciplined, and say:

How could this happen to me?
What did I do to deserve this?
Why am I so unlucky?
Why do I keep experiencing bad things?

If we sinned, the answer to each of these questions is, “Because of what I did.”

Only certain people receive the “peaceable fruit of righteousness.” According to Hebrews 12:11, it’s those who “have been trained by [the chastening].” This means they’ve learned from what they did. But when people confuse discipline and trials, they don’t receive this fruit. They don’t think their suffering is their fault. Instead, they think they’re unlucky. They simply have it worse than others.

This prevents them from looking to the real cause of their problems, which is their sin. As a result they never repent. This prevents spiritual growth, and often causes us to repeatedly experience the same suffering. When this happens, we have to have the wisdom and humility to recognize this suffering isn’t a trial. It’s punishment for sinning.

Discussion Questions

Do you see other differences between trials and discipline?
Why do some people receive “the peaceable fruit of righteousness,” but others do not?
What reminders do you need to tell yourself when you’re going through trials? Discipline?

The post Don’t confuse discipline and trials appeared first on Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre.

4 ways God established a husband’s headship at creation

Twice the apostle Paul stated the headship of a husband:

1 Corinthians 11:3—But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
Ephesians 5:23—For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

Although these verses are found in the New Testament, a husband’s headship didn’t have its beginning under the New Covenant. Neither does male headship have its beginning in the Old Testament under the Old Covenant. It doesn’t even have its beginning at the fall.

Male headship began at creation itself

Understanding this is important, because if we think headship began after the fall, then it becomes part of sin’s curse. If we see headship beginning at creation, we understand it is part of God’s natural, healthy, divine plan for husbands and wives.

Genesis 1:1 says, “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth,” and the rest of Genesis 1 gives an overview of all six days of creation. God created man and woman on the sixth day. Then, in Genesis 2:7–25, God zooms in on the creation of Adam and Eve since mankind is the pinnacle of God’s creation. It is in this account that God established man’s headship.

1. God established Adam’s headship by creating him first

We are so familiar with the verses that it is easy to miss the significance of some of the details. Imagine reading the passage for the first time. Since God created the animals in pairs, male and female, what would we expect Him to do with the creation of humankind? We would expect Him to create the first man and woman at the same time—as a pair, male and female—but that’s not what He did. According to Paul, this is one of the main reasons women shouldn’t have authority over men (1 Timothy 2:12–13).

2. God established Adam’s headship by giving him the first command

Creating Adam before Eve allowed God to give His first command to Adam alone. Genesis 2:16–17 says:

And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”

God gave the command to Adam as he stood there alone. When Eve was fashioned, Adam had the responsibility of passing along to her the command he had learned from God. Then Eve had the responsibility of trusting her husband. God did not have to do it this way. He could have given the command to both of them after Eve was created, but in doing it this way, God established Adam’s headship in the relationship.

3. God established Adam’s headship by having him name the animals and Eve

God wanted Adam to have authority over all creation. In Genesis 1:26, He said:

Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.

God wanted man to have authority over creation, and He established that authority by directing Adam to name the animals. Genesis 2:19–20 records:

Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field.

Again, God did something with Adam that He could have had Adam and Eve do together. Instead, He had Adam name the animals alone, and in doing it established his authority over the animals. After God fashioned Eve from Adam’s side, parts of Genesis 2:22–23 record: “He brought her to the man. And Adam said, “She shall be called Woman.”

4. God established Adam’s headship by having only him “leave father and mother”

Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Why doesn’t the command mention a woman leaving her father and mother? The man is moving out from under his parents’ authority and establishing his own headship—or authority—over his family. But the woman is not doing the same. She is simply moving from being under her father to being under her husband.

This is why 1 Corinthians 11:3 does not say, “The head of every man and woman is Christ.” Instead, it states, “The head of every man is Christ [and] the head of woman is man.” Women remain under a man’s authority, first her father’s and then her husband’s, and these men are under Christ. This biblical principle is played out at weddings symbolically when the father walks his daughter down the aisle and gives her to the man who is about to become her husband. The image is of a transfer of headship from father to husband.

Discussion Questions

What evidence shows that God established male headship at creation?
Why is it important to recognize God established male headship before the fall?
What is the significance of God:

Creating Adam first and then Eve, instead of creating them as a pair as He did with the animals?
Bringing Eve to Adam so he could name her?
Commanding man to leave father and mother without giving the same command to woman?

[image error]NOTE: Most of this post is from Marriage God’s Way and the Marriage God’s Way Workbook.  Save 0 and purchase the bundle—one book and two workbooks!

The post 4 ways God established a husband’s headship at creation appeared first on Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre.