Yashas Mahajan's Blog, page 42

Word of the Week #36:

Inconvenience

Yes, as you can obviously guess, this post is inspired by the recent change in the definition of the word in Indian English.

It would probably be interesting to track what this change meant for the various people across our country in various situations.

For guys like me:

Before 8/11/2016–

Being forced to drink Coca Cola when I really really want Thums Up.

After 8/11/2016–

Being forced to take a deep breath and walk past the store when I really really want Thums Up.

For a normal guy at the ATM:

Before 8/11/2016–

Going back with a ₹500 note instead of ₹100 ones, and wondering who would be willing to give you change.

After 8/11/2016–

Going back with an empty wallet, despite having waited in the queue for hours…

For Bankers:

Before 8/11/2016–

Teaching some ill-informed customers how to correctly fill out some forms to retrieve their hard-earned money, at the cost of aggravating the rest of the queue.

After 8/11/2016–

Teaching some ill-informed customers why they cannot retrieve their hard-earned money, while staring up to an already aggravated queue, despite their own added strain of being forced to work overtime.

For small farmers nearing sowing season:

Before 8/11/2016–

Well, pretty much everything, right? The physical drudgery, the meteorological dependancy, the financial instability…

After 8/11/2016–

The fact that despite everything else having gone in their way, they still can neither sell their yield of this season, nor buy the seeds for the next.

For a man sitting in a rural hospital:

Before 8/11/2016–

Telling his ailing father that he sold their ancestral land to pay for the routine surgery.

After 8/11/2016–

Telling his ailing father that he cannot pay for the routine surgery.

For that guy who hoards black money:

Before 8/11/2016–

Counting all those big notes in all those big bundles, before adding three zeroes at the end.

After 8/11/2016–

Counting all those big notes in all those big bundles, and then multiplying that by 2, before adding three zeroes at the end.

Exactly 4 weeks have passed. 4 more to go, they say.

I wonder…

Word of the Week #35: [Guest Post]

Masculinism

TheNemeSis: 

Being brought up in a household with more women than men, later going to a girls’ school for 11 years, having the strongest person I have ever known (my grandmother) as my role model while growing up, and always having had an ultra strong Father to look up to, I never thought strength had anything to do with the allosome.

All of the gender based generalisations hit me in the face only when I went to junior college. It is rare to find so many obnoxious people in the same room… But we like rare…

For the first time, my new close friends started alerting me about certain boys who were “gay”.

Apparently, they were not men enough because they were polite, had a beautiful handwriting, were particular about grooming, did not have facial hair, had a soft voice, wore pink, cried while watching movies… no, it does not stop. However, I can assure you that some of them were not gay or feminine or emasculated.

I am quite sure a lot of men, like a lot of women, just want to be listened to and understood and cry sometimes and be told that they look good in that white shirt! I am quite sure a lot of men, like a lot of women, just want to order pizza in bed and pile up stinking clothes on the chair and go on road trips without taking a shower, high on spirits. I am quite sure a lot of men like a lot of women.

Egalitarianism and Unicorns live in the same place. I live in Delhi. More people very loudly remember their mothers and sisters than anywhere else in the world. By that analysis, since most of the abuses are uttered with an assumption that the receiver is male, Delhi is probably the most Feminist city in the World.

Masculinism is the opposite of Feminism… because Chicken is the opposite of Egg. Yes.

Yes, I cringe sometimes when I see a man wearing more makeup than me… I also feel imbalanced amounts of jealousy, anger, fear and insecurity because of him. This is probably because I am probably not as untouched by masculinism as I probably think I am.

You still have no clue what it means, do you? Don’t worry, you are not alone.

Scroll slow…

Cheers!

PS – To Gay or not to Gay… that is the question…

Word of the Week #34:

Mitigation

Now, it must be quite obvious that I am not referring to the recent demonetisation steps taken our benevolent overlords, which can at this stage only be described as an unmitigated disaster.

No, I am actually talking about Metro Rail being constructed in our city, and the measures taken by the local authorities to minimise the inconvenience to the general public.

Just a week back, a major flyover along NH7, arguably the most important road in the city, was demolished. Being one of the more pessimistic citizens of our little city, I was obviously filled with great loathing…

With the people already crippled financially, this new predicament was sure to bring our lives to a standstill.

However, my expectations were soon subverted, as these signs cropped up on every street in the few blocks around the wreckage of the old bridge, and not just on the main streets, but even on the tiniest of lanes.



Not just that, we actually got to see traffic policemen actually abandoning their usual scavenging activities to regulated the additional traffic.

As a consequence, while we have seen our lives slow down, the authorities have at least managed to keep things running, which demonstrates some amount of planning and preparation on their part.

Oddly enough, the entire project is being jointly managed by the State and Central governments, both led by the same political party. Makes one wonder how they dropped the ball on the other, arguably more important project.

Either way, at least the things here are looking good.

And while I still remain a critic, I do at least believe in giving credit where credit is due.

Word of the Week #33:

Reeling

That was how I evaluated my state, when a friend just casually happened to ask, “What are you doing now?”

And I can say with some certainty that I am not the only one…

First, the Government of India initiates NoCashNovember, which in itself was quite fun.

And not to be outdone, the people of US have Duck à l’Orange delivered at the White House, a dish that already makes many of us gag.

Now, a few days have past. The world has not returned to normalcy, just yet, and neither is it expected to, in the immediate future, but I have calmed down enough to begin to see the brighter side of things. And, to be very honest, it is not like I ever did have much cash before this anyway…

For instance, over the past week, I have not seen any cops stalking the streets, looking for helmet-less prey. After all, that is now as effective as buying shampoo for Mike Tyson.

We have already seen bellyaching regarding the two situations escalate, and I fear the worst is yet to come.

In the case of our geographically distant friends, the only silver lining I can see is the example being set by the Obama administration, working hard for the next two months, intent on keeping doom at bay.

That is all we can do now.

Word Hard.

Persevere.

Endure.

Survive.

“In times of adversity and change, we really discover who we are and what we’re made of.”

― Howard Schultz

Word of the Week #32:

Pinata

This, right now, is the exact moment when the first state of US begins to vote for their new president.

Yeah, apparently the guys at Vermont are quite the early birds…

So, really, it is only fitting that we take a quick look back at the moment that may have, in all probability, sparked off Donald Trump’s campaign to the White House.

Now, how does that related to the aforementioned word?

Well, this was the night, April 30th, 2011, was the night when the US Commander-in-Chief took on the role of the Comedian-in-Chief, and proceeded to smack the Donald with a stick, till the smug exterior shattered, and the crazy inside oozed all over the country.

Incidentally, this was also the night when Obama authorised the operation to take out Osama… Talk about two birds…

Just look at that face… Seriously…

Now, what followed is a story of long-term revenge that the world has not seen since Chanakya helped Chandragupta Maurya take down Dhana Nanda, way back in 324BC.

Now, will Donald’s decision to run by himself, instead of choosing a more affable, agreeable face for the campaign be his undoing, or will it only make his victory more glorious, we shall find out soon enough…

All the best, guys.

And, at the end of one of the most negative political campaigns, one has to say, better luck next time.

Word of the Week #31:

Deplorable

With the US presidential election exactly a week away, we take a look at the word that has somehow come to define this entire campaign.

It is kind of amusing how the recent political proceedings have drawn out certain unsavoury elements in our world that we have generally preferred to just ignore.

After all, don’t we all have that one closet where we just shove everything that we do not want the entire world to see. I know I do…

Now, in turbulent times, closets may bang open, and skeletons may tumble out.

Well, I would prefer not to go into the details, to be honest. More than enough has already been said on the topic, anyway.

All I can do now is sit back and wonder what the world has come to, and where it will end up.

Well, that, and thank our stars for having had the fortune of having seen a man like Obama at the office.

That guy is cool, isn’t he?

Note:

Well, to put it simply, we would now need to halt our Book of the Week posts, for the moment, in order to focus more of our energy on the unfinished manuscript.

Plus, 30 seems like a decent number to stop.

We will return shortly…

 

Book of the Week #30

The Thief Lord,
by Cornelia Funke

“Children are like caterpillars and adults are like butterflies. No butterfly ever remembers what it felt like being a caterpillar.”

As a kid, I often observed a few friends, and their peculiar attempts to act far beyond their actual age. At a time when I wanted to talk about my favourite Pokemon, they wanted to talk about their favourite stocks… Yeah, this was like ten years back.

And now, the same happens in the book clubs I recently joined. People want to discuss Dostovsky and Kafka and Voltaire, but I just cannot move past these genres that I do love.

And anyway, who cannot find gold in a gold mine? Most miners would tell you that it is actually quite drudgous work. Plus, you wouldn’t get to keep it. Finding it in an obscure riverbed is the real deal.

Now, with that in mind, we welcome back Cornelia Funke into the list, and feature one of our personal favourites in The Thief Lord.

Set in the scenic city of Venice, this book follows the story of two young brothers, who run away from a cruel aunt and an annoying uncle, and join the enigmatic Thief Lord and his band of teeny thieves.

The alternate line of narrative follows the private detective employed by the aforementioned aunt to find the kids.

However, as the story progresses and the two narratives overlap, skeletons tumble out of closets, which eventually leads the kids through a fantasy far beyond their expectation.

As with most children’s books, it does work with a defined set of good guys and bad guys, but the protagonists being all thieves probably does draw it away from the norm.

Despite the comparatively young target audience, the book asks the reader some very pertinent questions about what it really means to be a grown up, questions to which I still do not have satisfactory answers.

The one thing I do not understand is this genre’s obsession with orphaned boys. I mean, it is understandable from the writer’s point of view, considering the emotional baggage this element grants to the character, not to mention the freedom to the plot; nevertheless, the fact that the readers seem to relate with it is somewhat disturbing…

Anyway, the book, in general, is pretty nice, whether you cannot wait to start wearing your big-boy-pants, or happen to be wondering if you made a mistake growing up.

Do take a look at it. You can find it here:

Also, do note that the narrative style, tone and other such attributes can vary a lot, according to the translation.

Well, I guess that is all for tonight.

Thank you.

Word of the Week #30:

Foresight

See, when you are on a hectic, week-long trip, this is an ability you will need if you wish to keep your blog running like clockwork.

Well, that used to be an ability upon which I quite prided myself, but this very trip has forced me to reexamine. 

To begin with, before beginning a journey, one should always check if the address posted on the hotel’s website actually makes sense. If it just says Western Expressway, Malad East, chances are that you would face some trouble finding it.

Secondly, it might make sense to check whether you want to go to the Times of India Square or the Times Square, before you actually arrive at the wrong one, at 9:30PM, after roaming around the entire day. Believe me, the experience can be quite taxing… Just ask my sister, and she’ll tell you. Or kill you. With her, you never really know.

I don’t want to revisit any other examples; at least not in public. I still do have some pride.

Nevertheless, is the blog running like clockwork? Why, yes it is…

Well, what can I say… Sometimes, you just wing it, and things still work out.

And if they don’t, and it does come to the very worst, well, you just post the draft that has been saved for the past 5 months.

Simple, right?

Book of the Week #29:

Pygmalion,
by George Bernard Shaw

In this day and age, how does one decide which book to read?

More than anything else, we depend on our close friends, to set us up with books they think we’d like. Otherwise, we simply make a choice based on popular opinion.

That wonderful feeling when you are looking across a crowded room, and you see book just sitting there on the shelf, and you just know you are going to grab it in your hands, take it to your room, and just have a magical night together, that doesn’t really happen as often as we would like, does it?

Well, believe it or not, but this is what happened between me and this book… And it was indeed magical…

“Galatea never does quite like Pygmalion: his relation to her is too godlike to be altogether agreeable.”

It was only recently that I realised that this play is only inspired by the mythological characters Pygmalion and Galatea, while the plot does not actually follow that of the myth.

Simply put, the myth narrates the story of a master sculptor who, upon falling in love with an ivory painting he made, breathes life into it.

Set in pre-World War London, the first act begins with an expert linguist boasting to his colleague that he could pass off this common flower as a duchess, simply by fixing her language and her manners. When the aforementioned girl does indeed show at his doorstep for speaking lessons, his colleague makes a bet with him, and he embarks on this tricky uphill climb.

It is after this point in the story, where the drama diverges from the original story, and for the better too.

What happens when you train a girl to pass off as a duchess, and yet whom you always treat as a common flower girl? How does she proceed with her life? Where would she belong, with no other prospects?

In its own way, this drama can be considered a scathing critique of the then prevalent class system. The pride of the tenacious, confident female protagonist is a major defining point.

Back in the day, the drama was somewhat criticised for the absence of a meaningless happy ending. In many of the popular productions, this ending was often tampered.

Tree, the actor who played the male protagonist, told Shaw, “My ending makes money; you ought to be grateful.”

Shaw replied, “Your ending is damnable; you ought to be shot.”

Really, one must admire his convictions, as a writer. I can say with some certainty that this drama did leave an immense impact on my life, and on my writing style.

And considering the age at which I first read it, we are forced to admit that I was very wise at a very young age.

Well, anyhow, if you appreciate literature and linguistics, or are fond of strong protagonists, you will probably enjoy it…

You can read it here:

Word of the Week #29:

Fortitude

“I don’t count the sit-ups. I only start counting when it starts hurting because they’re the only ones that count. That’s what makes you a champion.”

– Muhammad Ali

Sometimes, you do not need a lengthy narrative to express your feelings.

Sometimes, it can take 14 rounds, and at other times, a single punch…

But no matter how long, how hard, how painful it gets, the rule is simple:

Don’t stop. Fight on.