Exponent II's Blog, page 176
March 27, 2020
Mantras, comfort, and resources in March 2020.
There has been so much said and written about how people are feeling in the midst of this grief, profound disruption in everyday routines, and basic sense of safety. For example, Nancy Ross wrote beautifully on the blog about the grief involved in the losses people are experiencing right now (e.g., disruptions of daily routines).
Each of us are having individual experiences being affected by the coronavirus in different ways. There is so much about the coronavirus situation that triggers trauma, mental health difficulties, and negative emotions for so many, including me.
I’ve written on the blog before about my trauma history and having complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). A few days ago, I was on self-quarantine from international travel. I felt so claustrophobic and trapped that I couldn’t go to the store, I had a panic attack in my car that lasted almost an hour. I felt suicidal and wanted to hurt my body. Today, I had my last in-person session with my therapist. I cried when she told me we would have to fully transition to Telehealth sessions for the foreseeable future.
These mantras are for all of us. We all deserve an infinite amount of compassion, comfort, and love.
Mantras
This period of quarantine, social distancing, and isolation will
pass.
My negative emotions (e.g., anger, fear, sadness, grief) are
a normal response to an abnormal situation. These feelings are God-given and have
a purpose.
My body is doing its job in helping alert me to the changes
in my environment through my negative emotions.
I am loved. I have people who care about my comfort and
safety.
The desire to connect with others is divine and God-given.
I have a Heavenly Mother who is with me each day. She helps
me manage what happens.
In the midst of this pain and disruption, spring is coming.
The earth is renewing herself in this very moment.
If all I can do is survive right now, that is completely
okay.
I deserve compassion, kindness, and understanding.
If I pause and listen to my body and what I need, I can know what is best for me to do in this moment.
I am wise and thoughtful in making decisions about my safety, comfort, and relationships with others.
I have the ability to comfort myself emotionally and
physically.
In the midst of this pain and grief, there are pockets of genuine
connection and beauty.
Even if this pain, discomfort, or disruption feel
intolerable, I am resilient, and things will not always be this way.
I have a deep well of creativity and self-understanding that
I can develop, nurture, and draw upon.
Even though my usual ways of connecting with others are disrupted right now, technology is a gift that allows me to connect with others in creative ways.
What mantras or thoughts are helping comfort you right now? What is helping you survive?
March 26, 2020
Finding a New “Normal” and Katherine Hepburn’s Brownies
This week has been full of feelings and emotions all over the world as we practice social distancing amid concerns of COVID-19. I wanted to share some of the emotional waves I have ridden with my family in our home.
Triumph when we all sat down on Monday morning to our new distance learning routines (my high schooler, my elementary student, and me in community college).
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Melancholy when we changed the original pizza and Xbox birthday party for our middle schooler to a family dinner with a copycat Panda Express orange chicken and a homemade key lime pie. We were not his chosen party-goers, and we let him know that that was okay to be sad about.
Delight at the beautiful spring flowers in Phoenix that we have the time to really enjoy this year. My daughter and I walked in our backyard to pick all the wildflowers growing.
Fear when my ketamine clinic let me know that my regular appointment is postponed because the clinic needs to evaluate safety precautions for staff and patients.
After I suffered a severe depressive episode in 2017, I realized that I wasn’t very good at feeling my emotions. I tried to keep my head so full of busy thoughts about the future or the past. Now, I am learning to sit with those emotions, to breathe them in and out, and to accept both the happy and uncomfortable ones. When I find myself vacillating between despair and acceptance, it has been helpful for me to remember a Buddhist idea…that feels are like the clouds in the sky, they change or dissipate often quickly. I am the sky, I am anchored, and I can observe them and become curious about them as they occur.
I love this quote I read in the book by Buddhist nun, Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart, “We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”
There have been times these past couple weeks when my emotions have been so all-over-the-place that I hardly know if I can stand them. The clouds move so quickly. I see it in my spouse and my kids. I have no idea how to comfort these older children who don’t find much from a hug from Mom. How can any of us find our anchor?
But, there are times when I see the Divine. I see the Holy Ghost work through us. I look at my messy kitchen, and I am inspired to make Katherine Hepburn’s brownies, which turn out to be just the thing we all needed one particularly difficult evening. And, I think of Roman Catholic priest, Richard Rohr who wrote, “The most amazing fact about Jesus, unlike almost any other religious founder, is that he found God in disorder and imperfection—and told us that we must do the same or we would never be content on this earth. ”
I am working on seeing my God in the disorder of this uncertain time, to find small joys and to feel the uncertainty and grief we are also presented with.
Katherine Hepburn’s Brownies
The Gourmet Cookbook, edited by Ruth Reichel
8 tablespoons
of unsalted butter
2 ounces of unsweetened chocolate, chopped
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
¼ cup all-purpose flour
¼ teaspoon salt
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
Put a
rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 325 degrees. Butter and flour an
8×8 square baking pan, knocking off excess flour.
Melt
butter with chocolate in a two to three-quart saucepan over low heat. Remove
heat and stir in sugar, eggs, and vanilla, then beat until well combined. Stir
in flour and salt until just combined, then stir in walnuts.
Pour
batter into baking pan. Bake until a wooden skewer inserted comes out clean,
about 40 minutes. Then, cut into 16 bars (or 8 if you’re my people…1/16th
is way too little of this goodness).
March 25, 2020
Guest Post: Adapting
Image by Samuel Taber-Kewene
by Christina Taber-Kewene
When I was a young teenager, I cut off a flap from a cardboard box in my basement, painted a rainbow of colors as a backdrop, and then printed in large white block letters my chosen slogan: “PERFECTION IS NOT OPTIONAL.” I hung the sign up on my bedroom door feeling content that if I simply abided by that precept, life would fall nicely into place. I would keep my grades up, excel in my music performances, run eight miles every morning, and look, well, “perfect.” I spent many years of my life striving to live up to those ideals and, by some definitions, succeeding, at least outwardly.
The dark side to perfectionism is that it can too soon grow into rigidity. When we feel out of control, we develop habits that create a semblance of control, but they often box us in. Seeking self-improvement is useful; clinging to outmoded approaches that don’t serve any longer can impede real growth. When our first son was born, my husband became the expert swaddler in the family. He is a true baby whisperer, and this was one of the techniques that kept our colicky child calm, or at least calmer. But after a while, as that baby grew, he started fighting so hard to get out of the swaddle that he was keeping himself—and us—up for hours each night. I begged my husband to stop the swaddling, but he, a rigid first-time dad, struggled to drop a habit that wasn’t working anymore because, in his mind, if it had worked before, it should still work now. Four kids and many years later, we have learned a few things about letting go.
The nice thing about life is that, if we are paying attention, it forces change. Although I often have practices I want to grow out of, I find it hard to take the steps to improve unless I really have to. Twenty years into my daily running practice, I knew it had become unhealthy for me, but I couldn’t kick the habit until my back and joints became so damaged that I couldn’t physically run anymore. I finally learned my lesson after too many years of chronic pain and two back surgeries, but some people might not have been so obtuse as I was. When I worked full time at a job I hated but wanted desperately to spend more time with my young kids, it took me years to let go of the career I had built so I could pursue other things. It was hard. It didn’t work very well for several years. We didn’t have enough money or help. But eventually, both my spouse and I evolved into better careers with more time for our kids and each other, and enough money to survive. We learned that if we didn’t flex, we would break, so we kept flexing and flexing until we took on a more perfect form.
As we face the reality today of a global pandemic, we are being required to change numerous habits. Life is re-ordered, and that is painful and difficult for us all. I do not relish the idea of running my business online while also homeschooling my kids, staying away from friends, and worrying about my husband’s job security and how much toilet paper we have left. Friends all through my town are losing their livelihoods as small business owners, actors and artists, and it is only a matter of time before many of us fall sick. On the other hand, we all have an opportunity today to let go of our daily practices and think about how we want to live the next weeks and months in this altered existence. I’m sure that the optimism I feel in the early days of self-distancing will on other days be replaced by fear, panic, and even greater challenges. But as we held our family meeting this morning, we asked our kids two questions: How can we use this time to grow? What can we do to help others? Those are my focuses as we head into the eye of this storm.
Christina describes herself as a writer, mother, admissions coach, and recovering lawyer.
March 23, 2020
It’s The End Of The World As We Know It.
My dear neighbor is going through intensive treatment for cancer.
When she was diagnosed a couple of months ago, I would go and visit her regularly. I would take homemade food and gifts, sit next to her, listen to her share her experiences, share what I had learned from my treatment. Cancer warriors have a kinship.
Covid-19 virus has shifted the format of these visits.
Yesterday, I carried a loaf of homemade sourdough bread to her porch, knocked, and stepped back to the end of her walkway. She felt up to answering the door, and we were able to visit for a bit, talking with each other from about 15 yards apart.
I thought of a picture she had posted of greeting her son when he had just returned from college. They are each pressing their hands and foreheads together from opposite sides of a glass door. That is the only kind of contact they can have for now.
I really love this amazing neighbor of mine. She is deeply kind and good. She has a great wisdom about creating a habitat for plants and creatures so they can thrive in this area. She has been so generous and patient in helping me create a beautiful landscape around my home. And this wisdom carries over into her relationships with people. She seems to have a way of loving and appreciating people for whatever goodness they bring into the world. I especially love the way she lit up when I shared any of my mystical views about how we are all connected.
That is what we talked about yesterday. We felt the earth is telling us all to go sit in our own corner and think about what we are doing to each other. I said I felt that the Universe, as a whole, moves in a direction of love and connection. And when there is a pendulum swing toward division, separation, harsh discrimination because of where someone is born or how they look or who they love, violent hoarding of power and money and rights and space and mercy and justice, treating things that are abundant as if they were scarce – at some point, I think the molecules will demand that the pendulum swing back.
She said that trying to be emotionally connected while practicing physical distancing was something she had to learn months ago, and we talked about how this could be an important lesson for the world. We don’t need to be physically close, or physically similar, before we get that we are all a part of each other.
What happens to any of us, happens to all of us.
This reminded me of what I learned years ago when I was undergoing cancer treatment. During radiation, my oncologist explained how important it was to get the intensity level correct. The radiation attacks all the cells in the treatment site, and destroys them. The intent is to have it at a level where the healthy cells can recover, but the cancer cells can’t, so they die. Similar to chemotherapy infusions or medication, the hope is that there are enough healthy cells that can withstand the onslaught of the treatment, and recover life for the body as the cancerous cells are eliminated.
One of the things I found interesting is the explanation for one of the major side effects – severe exhaustion. My doctor explained that the healthy cells not only had to recover, but they also had to haul away the dead cancer cells. They had to remove and replace the dead cancer cells with healthy cells. And that required energy. The work of the healthy cells was not just to survive and rebuild themselves. They needed to overcome the destruction, the waste and the remains of the dead cancer cells, clean it up, and create space for new life.
I learned to focus my energy on that which creates healing, and new life.
Maybe this is how I can learn to live in the end times.
Maybe I can see that every day can be the end of the world as I know it. Because every day is a day to practice letting go of former life, and creating new life.
My body has already had to rebuild itself physically, one cell at a time, during the onslaught of cancer treatment. Since that time, I am constantly looking for a new way of living a created life, even though I have permanent side effects that have impacted skills and strength and brain function which I had worked my whole life to develop.
So I practice new ways of creating art with hands that have severe neuropathy. I allow myself more time to go on walks and hikes with feet and knees that have less balance and more pain. I use more online tools to try to gather information, and to formulate ideas with a brain that struggles to recall vocabulary and language. Each time someone expresses surprise that some things might be difficult for me, I am reminded that everyone around me is probably dealing with struggles and burdens that might not be obvious. What is happening to any of us is happening to all of us. When I am quick to attack someone, that attack impacts everyone.
When the scriptures refer to the end times, there is only one task outlined for us to actually do. Our job is to overcome evil. Christ taught us that we can’t overcome evil with evil, or force, or violence, or destruction.
The only way to overcome evil is with love. Love that is courageous, messy, ferocious, and willing to show up when it is difficult and inconvenient.
I thought of that when I was visiting with my friend yesterday. Right now, her very presence is an act of love in the world.
Every person who shows up to provide care at the hospital, or medical lab, or grocery store, or package delivery, or care center, or who patiently teaches their grandma on the phone how to facetime so they can visit without exposure, or who cheers neighbors by standing at the curb and playing the violin for them, or who continues to reach out to families who are separated and desperate, supplying them with hope and so much more, or who walks with or stands with those who are marginalized – those with less or no privilege – who are at much greater risk at times like this…each person who is creating new life during this onslaught on the world as we know it, is doing it with love.
Each moment is a time where I can choose. Am I struggling because I don’t want to let go of any part of the way the world used to be? Am I clinging to resentment, blame, fear?
When asked in recent years what I felt the world’s greatest problems are, I responded, “The greatest problems are that we, as humans, look for reasons for barriers, for division, for “me” being right and “the other” being wrong. And, we live as though what is important is scarce, and limited. The idea that there is only so much power, money, land, rights, opportunity, knowledge – and that if someone else has more means I will have less, therefore I have to hoard it and deny it to others. This quickly leads to thinking there is a scarcity of love, and mercy, and kindness, and generosity. We deny it to others so we can keep it for ourselves. We will even say that God’s love and mercy is limited and scarce, so we will claim to know who is worthy and who is not.”
I have lived a wonderful life, in an amazing world. I have plenty of reason to want that to continue.
And, it is a world where people of great wealth will risk lives in order to acquire more. It is a world where people who have great security and resources will separate families and imprison children, because it makes them feel safer to do so. It is a world where people are so determined that the way they were raised to think has to be the only right way, they are willing to deny people who might be different the opportunity and ability to exist in any kind of fulfilling way.
I have been a part of that world.
If there is anything that is scarce in the lives of these people living in scarcity, it is the experience of unconditional, abundant love.
Maybe this is a time to let go of the past world as we know it.
Maybe this is a time to create a new world of abundance.
We can all be a part of it. We are all breathing, living, existing together.
“And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your hand sanitizer”: Likening the scriptures unto ourselves during the COVID-19 pandemic
We are taught to “liken the scriptures” unto ourselves. In that spirit, I have adapted some favorite scripture passages to our present circumstances as we cope with a worldwide pandemic.
And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him. Then all those virgins arose, and [sanitized their hands]. And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your [hand sanitizer]; for our [Purell dispensers] are gone out. But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves. [And then they laughed and added, Good luck with that!]
Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the Lord God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey [and toilet paper].
Say unto them, Thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I will take the stick of Joseph, which is in the hand of Ephraim [and carries his germs], and the tribes of Israel his fellows [with all of their germs], and will put them with him, even with the stick of Judah [which he coughed on], and make them one stick, and they shall be one in mine hand [so I will wash it with a Lysol wipe before I use it].
And I also cast my eyes round about, and beheld, on the other side of the river of water, a great and spacious building; and it stood as it were in the air, high above the earth. And it was [not] filled with people, [because they were working from home].
And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was [lots of ] room for them in the [empty] inn [but nonessential travel was banned]. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night [while maintaining a safe 6 feet of distance from each other].
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; [And right now is that last one, so try smiling and waving instead.]
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During a Salt Lake City earthquake in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, Moroni discarded his trump and raised his fist like Rosie the Riveter. “We can do it!”
And I saw another angel fly in the midst of heaven, [discarding his trumpet to raise his fist like Rosie the Riveter], Saying with a loud voice, [We can do it!]
March 22, 2020
Lenten Pandemic: Grieving the Things We’ve Lost
Earlier this week I was with my online congregation. Attendance was up. A lot of people shared worries and the specifics of what they were experiencing during this time of coronavirus and social distancing. Our speaker referenced a comment in Kate Bowler’s book Everything Happens for a Reason and Other Lies I Have Loved (great book). Bowler, a historian at Duke Divinity, was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer while studying the history of the prosperity gospel. She complained that “Everyone was trying to Easter the crap out of my Lent” (p. 134) by trying to frame her diagnosis as an inspirational story while she wanted to grieve the loss of her health.
Right now Christians around the world are celebrating Lent, the liturgical season where we figuratively wander in the desert and reflect on the challenges of our journeys. Our global pandemic puts us all in that wilderness. Easter will come, but we have a lot of Lent to wade through before it happens. Bowler’s phrase struck me because that is exactly what I’ve been trying to do: gloss over the losses of the pandemic without grieving them, telling myself that I can be positive and power through.
While that can-do spirit serves me well much of the time, it wasn’t serving me well this past week. Within just a few days, I started showing early signs of depression. I usually read a ton during spring break (haven’t done that), nap (haven’t done that), draft some mediocre poems (haven’t done that), and feel the gift of time (nope). I needed to change the way I was approaching this. I needed to stop Eastering the crap out of my Lent and let myself grieve the things I have lost.
When I stopped resisting my sadness and let myself name and feel the grief of a cancelled-at-the-last-minute family vacation and the cancellation of three conferences that I always enjoy, I felt a lot better. I reduced my panic-scrolling through social media and started to make more practical plans of how I was going to care for myself and my family at this difficult time.
We are all grieving different things and our social locations are part of that. My planned family vacation was an extension of my economic privilege and those conferences reflect my academic and economic privileges. Others have lost jobs and likely many more will, with knock on effects on housing and access to food. People will miss out on family events, gatherings with friends, work and job opportunities, and big and small life milestones. We are all losing some degree of freedom of movement.
Many Asian folks and people of Asian descent have experienced additional racism as President Trump and others have racialized the virus in their public discourse. Some will experience deteriorating mental health and/or increased domestic violence. Many people will have to achieve more with fewer resources, like working from home while homeschooling and caring for children. We will probably encounter the limits of our health systems. A friend had to miss her grandmother’s funeral. I fear there will be many missed funerals for all of us in the coming months.
Let’s take time to grieve what we have lost and what we are losing. We cannot sprint through our mourning. The pandemic likely won’t be over when Easter arrives on Sunday, April 12. Our conceptions of “normal” will not yet be ready for resurrection. We are likely to be in this peculiar Lent for a while, so we’re probably better off letting ourselves grieve the things we are losing in this strange season. So let us individually and collectively name what we have lost and allow ourselves to feel those losses without guilt and express them where appropriate.
What have you lost? What are you losing?
I am sorry for the things you have lost.
When we have identified and mourned, be ready to ask others what they have lost and listen with careful attention to what they have to say, mourning with those that mourn (Mosiah 18:9 & Romans 12:15).
Young Women Lesson: Why is it important to understand the plan of salvation?
The Plan of Salvation
Share this diagram and discuss these questions. If the young women are stumped by the questions, invite them to look for answers in the referenced scriptures.
The Plan of Salvation, Book of Mormon Teacher Resource Manual
The scriptures refer to this plan as “the plan of salvation” (Alma 24:14; Moses 6:62), “the great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8), “the plan of redemption” (Jacob 6:8; Alma 12:30), and “the plan of mercy” (Alma 42:15). What do these different titles for the plan mean? What is merciful about it? How can it make us happy? What does it redeem us from and save us from?
What is the path that leads us out of our fallen condition? What are the first steps we must take to get on that path? (2 Nephi 31:17–19) Where does the strait and narrow path lead? What must we do to stay on it? (2 Nephi 31:19–21).
What are some of the ways the gift of the Holy Ghost helps us overcome our fallen condition and press forward on the path? (John 14:26; 15:26; 16:13; 3 Nephi 27:20; D&C 45:56–57).
Learn together
Overcoming Spiritual Death and Temporal Death
Invite the class to silently read Alma 12:24-25, looking for the answer to the question:
What is temporal death? How does the plan of redemption redeems us from temporal death?
24 And we see that death comes upon mankind, yea, the death which has been spoken of by Amulek, which is the temporal death; nevertheless there was a space granted unto man in which he might repent; therefore this life became a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God; a time to prepare for that endless state which has been spoken of by us, which is after the resurrection of the dead.
25 Now, if it had not been for the plan of redemption, which was laid from the foundation of the world, there could have been no resurrection of the dead; but there was a plan of redemption laid, which shall bring to pass the resurrection of the dead, of which has been spoken.
Invite the class to silently read Alma 12:32 and Alma 12:35-36, looking for the answer to the question:
What is the “second death”? (Note, the second death is often referred to as “spiritual death” in latter-day saint theology.)
32 Therefore God gave unto them commandments, after having made known unto them the plan of redemption, that they should not do evil, the penalty thereof being a second death, which was an everlasting death as to things pertaining unto righteousness; for on such the plan of redemption could have no power, for the works of justice could not be destroyed, according to the supreme goodness of God. …
35 And whosoever will harden his heart and will do iniquity, behold, I swear in my wrath that he shall not enter into my rest.
36 And now, my brethren, behold I say unto you, that if ye will harden your hearts ye shall not enter into the rest of the Lord; therefore your iniquity provoketh him that he sendeth down his wrath upon you as in the first provocation, yea, according to his word in the last provocation as well as the first, to the everlasting destruction of your souls; therefore, according to his word, unto the last death, as well as the first.
Invite the class to silently read Alma 12:33-34, looking for the answer to the question:
How does the plan of redemption redeems us from spiritual death?
33 But God did call on men, in the name of his Son, (this being the plan of redemption which was laid) saying: If ye will repent, and harden not your hearts, then will I have mercy upon you, through mine Only Begotten Son;
34 Therefore, whosoever repenteth, and hardeneth not his heart, he shall have claim on mercy through mine Only Begotten Son, unto a remission of his sins; and these shall enter into my rest.
Invite the class to silently read Alma 12:28-30 and 32:22-23, looking for the answer to the question:
How does God teach us the plan of redemption?
Why is it important to understand the plan of redemption?
28 And after God had appointed that these things should come unto man, behold, then he saw that it was expedient that man should know concerning the things whereof he had appointed unto them;
29 Therefore he sent angels to converse with them, who caused men to behold of his glory.
30 And they began from that time forth to call on his name; therefore God conversed with men, and made known unto them the plan of redemption, which had been prepared from the foundation of the world; and this he made known unto them according to their faith and repentance and their holy works.
22 And now, behold, I say unto you, and I would that ye should remember, that God is merciful unto all who believe on his name; therefore he desireth, in the first place, that ye should believe, yea, even on his word.
23 And now, he imparteth his word by angels unto men, yea, not only men but women also. Now this is not all; little children do have words given unto them many times, which confound the wise and the learned.
Repentance as a Process, not a Punishment
Too many people consider repentance as punishment—something to be avoided except in the most serious circumstances. But this feeling of being penalized is engendered by Satan. He tries to block us from looking to Jesus Christ, who stands with open arms, hoping and willing to heal, forgive, cleanse, strengthen, purify, and sanctify us. The word for repentance in the Greek New Testament is metanoeo. The prefix meta- means “change.” The suffix -noeo is related to Greek words that mean “mind,” “knowledge,” “spirit,” and “breath.” Thus, when Jesus asks you and me to “repent,” He is inviting us to change our mind, our knowledge, our spirit—even the way we breathe. He is asking us to change the way we love, think, serve, spend our time, treat our wives, teach our children, and even care for our bodies. —Russell M. Nelson
How can we reframe repentance as an opportunity rather than a punishment?
How can we readjust our attitudes if we feel like avoiding repentance?
Nothing is more liberating, more ennobling, or more crucial to our individual progression than is a regular, daily focus on repentance. Repentance is not an event; it is a process. It is the key to happiness and peace of mind. When coupled with faith, repentance opens our access to the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Whether you are diligently moving along the covenant path, have slipped or stepped from the covenant path, or can’t even see the path from where you are now, I plead with you to repent. Experience the strengthening power of daily repentance—of doing and being a little better each day. —Russell M. Nelson
How does defining repentance as “doing and being a little better each day” change your perspective on repentance?
How is repentance liberating?
Becoming like Christ
Invite the young women to individually read from the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:3-16 and look for attributes that Jesus wants us to develop during our mortal lives. (Note: the Topical Guide defines “poor in spirit” as “meek.”) As they read, ask them to think about these questions. Discuss the questions after reading.
Can you think of people in the scriptures or in your own lives who exemplify these principles?
Have you been trying to develop any of these attributes? How is it going?
The Sermon on the Mount by Carl Bloch
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
Finding Your Unique Purpose
In addition to the purposes we all share as part of the Plan of Salvation, we each have a unique role to play within God’s plan:
[image error]You know you are a child of God, a son or a daughter of a loving Father who has structured a glorious plan for the salvation and happiness of each of His children. …What a blessing it is to have this solid, revealed-from-on-high doctrine as a foundation upon which to build our lives and as a foundation for our trust and hope in eternal happiness. It is the foundation for our faith and hope that our Father in Heaven has made such happiness available to His sons and daughters. But are these glorious, majestic understandings enough? They are certainly critical underpinnings for our eternal progression, but to reach our divine, eternal potential, I think they are only the beginning. We are each individuals with singular talents, strengths, opportunities, and challenges. We are as individual as are our fingerprints or our DNA. Unfortunately we cannot discover our individuality as easily as we can identify ourselves with our fingerprints or our DNA. We believe we are foreordained to come to earth at a particular time into particular circumstances and that our particular set of gifts, attitudes, and talents—if properly developed and employed—will enable us to fulfill our foreordained purpose. …For us to move in the desired direction for our own life, we must come to know ourselves. We must study, stretch, and test ourselves and ponder the results of our stretching and our testing and other observations. We need to become familiar with our own particular set of gifts and talents. …Why is this getting-to-know-yourself process so important? Because it will enable you to do more with your life. It will permit you to come closer to realizing your full potential. It will let you build on and use your strengths, your gifts, and your talents to carry out your purpose in God’s plan. –Elder Robert C. Oaks Reference C
Why do we need the Plan of Salvation as a foundation to achieve our potential?
How can we “study, stretch, and test ourselves” to discover our unique mission in life?
Esther was an example of a woman who channeled her unique circumstances, privileges, opportunities and talents to fulfill a divine role that only she could accomplish:
[image error]In the Old Testament we read about Esther and Mordecai, who worked for King Ahasuerus. Mordecai took in Esther as his own daughter after her parents passed away. He brought her to the palace. Esther pleased the king, and he made her his queen (see Esth. 2:17). Meanwhile, Haman, a leader in the king’s court, became angry with Mordecai because he would not pay obeisance to Haman. Therefore, Haman plotted to destroy Mordecai and all the Jews. Realizing the grave danger which loomed over his people, Mordecai pled with Esther to seek help from the king: “For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father’s house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (Esth. 4:14). Consider Esther’s dilemma: It was against the law to approach the king without being summoned. Such an act was punishable by death. If she were to remain quiet, she would likely enjoy a life of luxury and ease. She could live the life of a queen or risk her life to save her family and her people. She counted the cost and chose to heed the longings of her people and of her heart. She asked Mordecai to gather all the Jews in Shushan and fast three days for her, and she and her handmaids would do the same. Then she said, “I [will] go in unto the king, which is not according to the law: and if I perish, I perish” (Esth. 4:16). Spiritually prepared, Esther approached the king. She was received by him, and she invited the king and Haman to a feast she had arranged. During the feast, Haman’s plot was unveiled, and Mordecai received great honors. Esther, born for such a time, had saved a nation. …Sisters, like Esther, we must prepare for our time because our time has come. –General Relief Society President Mary Ellen Smoot Reference D
What were Esther’s unique circumstances, privileges, opportunities and talents that put her in a position to save her people?
What unique circumstances, privileges, opportunities and talents do you have that you could use for the good of others and to fulfill your own destiny?
Sacred Music Sunday: All Creatures of Our God and King
In the last few weeks, it feels like the world has turned upside down. With the COVID-19 global pandemic, many of us have had to give up large parts of our lives, with no indication of when things will return to normal. Last Sunday, I found myself with a big hole where church used to be.
I sat on my couch with my cat and my roommates’ dogs, and I felt very alone. For all the times I get upset about church culture and about some pulpit rhetoric that fails to live up to the gospel, I do find communal worship to be a comfort, and it’s challenging to have that comfort removed in such trying times.
The pets sat with me, and I saw the hummingbirds sip nectar from the feeder I had hanging outside. I looked into the backyard and saw mourning doves walking across my lawn. Even though I couldn’t praise God with other humans, I could still praise God with other parts of creation.
Until it’s safe for us to gather together again, I’m going to worship with the animals. I’ll join St. Francis of Assisi in his request: “All creatures of our God and King, lift up your voice and with us sing, Alleluia!”
March 21, 2020
Guest Post: Teaching Jacob 5-7 to Children–Introducing Allegory, Critical Thinking, and Combating Spiritual Abuse to Children
by Lindsey Jarman
In making this lesson, I owe a debt of gratitude to Reverend Dr. Fatimah Salleh and Margaret Olsen Hemming for their book, The Book of Mormon For the Least of These. Their book has opened up the Book of Mormon for me in new and beautiful ways and I hope this lesson will help you to do the same for children.
Introduction
“I have lived to see the time foreseen by the prophet Zenos in the allegory of the olive tree, when the righteous from all nations of the earth would become partakers of the covenant of God with Israel. I have seen the good fruit of the gospel blossom in my home continent of Africa. After just 30 years, there are 300,000 Saints. In the doctrines and principles of the restored gospel, many are finding a sure anchor for their faith.” Joseph W. Sitati, “Blessings of the Gospel Available to All”
Introduce the lesson to the children by saying, “In Jacob 5 we can read the Allegory of the Olive Tree that was told by the prophet Zenos and written down by Jacob. Before we talk about the Allegory of the Olive Tree, let’s learn what an allegory is.”
“An allegory is a story that has an extra meaning to it. For example, you might have heard the story of The Tortoise and the Hare before (summarize this Aesop’s Fable for the children or tell the story if they are unfamiliar with it). At first this seems like it’s just a story about a hare who loses a race because he thinks he is so fast that he can take a nap and still win, but if we think a little more about the story there is more to it. The story wants us to learn that even if it takes us longer to do something, it’s okay. As long as we keep trying we can be successful.”
“Now I am going to tell you another allegorical story. This story comes from Africa and it is about a character named Anansi, who is a spider. There are lots of stories about Anansi in Africa. While I tell the story, think about what extra meaning this story might have.”
Anansi the spider knew how to cook, but he didn’t like to do it. He didn’t like how long it took for the food to be ready and he definitely didn’t like cleaning up afterwards. So instead of making his own food, Anansi liked to go around to his neighbors and see what they were cooking. One day he went to visit rabbit. He immediately smelled something delicious. “Yum! Yum! Rabbit,” he said, “that sure does smell delicious. May I have some?”
“Sure”, said rabbit, “but it’s not quite finished. Why don’t you help me make dinner and then we’ll eat together?” Well, Anansi definitely didn’t want to do any cooking. “I have a better idea,” he said to Rabbit. “I will spin a web and tie one end to my foot and you can tie the other end to the pot. When the food is done, tug on the web and I’ll come back.” Rabbit thought that was okay, so Anansi made a web and tied one end to his foot and the other end to Rabbit’s pot. Then he went on his way.
When he came to Monkey’s house, he smelled a smell that was even more delicious than the smell at Rabbit’s house.“Yum! Yum!” He said to Monkey, “That smells delightful! May I have some?”
“Of course,” said Monkey, “but it’s not quite finished. Why don’t you help me make dinner and then we’ll eat together?” Now Anansi still did not want to help with cooking. So he told Monkey the same thing he had told Rabbit and Monkey thought that was just fine. So he tied one end of another web to a different foot and the other end of that same web to Monkey’s cooking pot and went on his way.
The same thing happened when Anansi passed by all of his neighbor’s houses, until Anansi had a web tied to each of his eight legs.
“This is a wonderful idea!” thought Anansi, “Tonight I will be able to eat eight delicious dinners and I won’t have to cook or clean up a single one!”
Just then Anansi felt a tug at the web of one leg. “Dinner time!” he shouted. But then a pull came at another leg and another and another and Anansi was being pulled in all directions by the web strings tied to his legs. As he was pulled, his legs got thinner and thinner until until they were so thin they slipped right out of the knots he had tied in the webs.
“Oh my!” he said, “Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea after all!”
“Think about this allegory about Anansi. It is a fun story, but it is also trying to tell us a message. What do you think the message might be?” Accept and validate all of the children’s answers, encouraging them to expand on their ideas.
The Allegory of the Olive Tree
“In the Book of Mormon, Jacob wrote down an allegory that he had read on the brass plates that Nephi took from Laban. It’s called the Allegory of the Olive Tree and it was originally told by a prophet named Zenos. Listen to me tell you the allegory and while I am telling it to you I want you to think about what the deeper meaning might be.” If appropriate, have the children act out the allegory while you tell it, having them take the part of the Lord of the vineyard, the servant, and even the tree and the branches.
Israel is like an olive tree that a man planted in his vineyard. The olive tree grew old and started to die, so the man came and took special care of it. He pruned it, and dug around it, and gave it special plant food. The tree grew new branches, but the top was still dying.
The man’s servant came to help him in the vineyard and the man told him about how sad it made him to see his tree dying. He told his servant they should take off the new branches that grew on the tree and plant them in other places so that new trees will grow and save the fruit of the old tree. Then they should take branches off a a wild tree and graft them on to the old tree. So they did those things and then they waited.
After a while, the man and his servant went back to the vineyard to check on things. First they went to the old tree and saw that it was good! The wild branches they had grafted on were growing good fruit! So they went to check on the new trees they had planted from the new branches. The first branch was growing well and had grown a lot of new fruit. They gathered the fruit and the servant said he was surprised because this branch had been planted in very poor ground. The man said he knew it was a poor spot and he had been taking care of the branch for a long time. The second branch they checked on was also doing well, even though the ground was even worse, because the man had been taking special care of it too.
Then they went to check on the third branch they had planted, and even though the man had planted it in the best spot and taken care of it too, only half of the branches on the new tree had good fruit. The man wanted to burn all of the branches that had bad fruit, but the servant asked if they could try taking care of the new tree first. So the man and the servant took care of the tree to see they could get it to grow good fruit.
Stop here and ask the children. “What do you think of this story so far? The man and his servant are working very hard to save the tree, even though at the beginning of the story, the tree is not giving them any fruit? What do you think that means?” Listen to and acknowledge all of the children’s answers. Encourage them to build upon each other’s thoughts and share their genuine feelings. Allow them to put themselves in the perspective of the tree, the servant, or the man as they share. Allow them to compare the story to their own lives or to communities in general and let them take ownership of the meaning of the allegory. “In the story, sometimes the man tells the servant what to do and sometimes the servant gives the man ideas. What do you think that means?” Listen to and acknowledge all of the children’s answers. Encourage them to build upon each other’s thoughts and share their genuine feelings.
After a long time the man and the servant went back to check on the old tree and the new trees that had grown from the branches. They found that the old tree was growing new fruit, but when the man tasted the fruit all of it was bad, even though they had worked so hard to help the tree. Then they went to check on the new trees that had grown from the branches. They found that the first and second new trees were growing wild fruit and the wild fruit that had grown on the third new tree had corrupted it so much that the third new tree had died. And the man was so sad that he cried and he said “What more could I have done for my trees!” And the man told the servant that they should cut all of the bad trees down and throw them into the fire. But the servant asked if they could try a little longer.
Stop here and ask the children, “What do you think this part of the story means? What does it mean that the man and servant worked so hard but the trees were still growing bad fruit and one tree had even died?” Listen to and acknowledge all of the children’s answers. Encourage them to build upon each other’s thoughts and share their genuine feelings. “What do you think it means for the servant to ask the man to wait a little longer?” Continue encouraging the children to share.
So the man and the servant called in more servants to help them, but only a few came, and they all worked very hard to take care of the trees one last time, and good fruit started to grow again, and they threw away any branches that grew bad fruit until all of the fruit was good again. And when the man saw that it was good he called all of the servants together and they were all very happy.
Ask the children “What do you think of the story? Why did only a few more servants come to help? What do you think it means to throw away the branches that are growing good fruit?”
“Jacob tells us that the Allegory of the Olive Tree can help us understand Heavenly Father’s relationship to Israel. In the allegory, Heavenly Father is like a man that takes care of a tree. What is your relationship with Heavenly Father like? Draw or write an allegory that describes what your relationship with Heavenly Father is like.”
Sherem
“After Jacob tells the story of the Allegory of the Olive Tree (that was first told by the prophet Zenos), he tells about a man who tried to convince the Nephites not to believe in the coming of Christ and doing the work of God. He does this in three ways. First, he flatters them. Flattery means to tell someone nice things in order to get them to do what you want them to do. Second, he tells Jacob that the hard work he has been doing to bring people to Christ is actually the wrong thing to do. Third, he quotes scriptures in a way to try to make Jacob feel badly about what he is doing (Fatima Salleh and Margaret Hemming, The Book of Mormon for the Least of These, p. 130).
“Jacob said he “had hope to shake me from the faith, notwithstanding the many revelations and the many things which I had seen concerning these things ; for I truly had seen angels, and they had ministered unto me.’ Jacob knew that his relationship with God and the personal insights he had been given were special. Your relationship with God is special too and the personal revelation he gives you to guide your life is important.
Draw a stick person on a piece of paper and write “I Can Stick Up For Myself”. On the paper, have the children write (or draw) ways that they can “stick up” for themselves when their personal relationship with God is challenged.
Lyndsey Jarman is a kindergarten teacher with a Masters Degree in education and 13 years of teaching experience. You can read more of her advice on teaching primary children here.
Guest Post: Teaching Jacob 5-7 to Children–Introducing Allegory and Critical Thinking
by Lindsey Jarman
In making this lesson, I owe a debt of gratitude to Reverend Dr. Fatimah Salleh and Margaret Olsen Hemming for their book, The Book of Mormon For the Least of These. Their book has opened up the Book of Mormon for me in new and beautiful ways and I hope this lesson will help you to do the same for children.
Introduction
“I have lived to see the time foreseen by the prophet Zenos in the allegory of the olive tree, when the righteous from all nations of the earth would become partakers of the covenant of God with Israel. I have seen the good fruit of the gospel blossom in my home continent of Africa. After just 30 years, there are 300,000 Saints. In the doctrines and principles of the restored gospel, many are finding a sure anchor for their faith.” Joseph W. Sitati, “Blessings of the Gospel Available to All”
Introduce the lesson to the children by saying, “In Jacob 5 we can read the Allegory of the Olive Tree that was told by the prophet Zenos and written down by Jacob. Before we talk about the Allegory of the Olive Tree, let’s learn what an allegory is.”
“An allegory is a story that has an extra meaning to it. For example, you might have heard the story of The Tortoise and the Hare before (summarize this Aesop’s Fable for the children or tell the story if they are unfamiliar with it). At first this seems like it’s just a story about a hare who loses a race because he thinks he is so fast that he can take a nap and still win, but if we think a little more about the story there is more to it. The story wants us to learn that even if it takes us longer to do something, it’s okay. As long as we keep trying we can be successful.”
“Now I am going to tell you another allegorical story. This story comes from Africa and it is about a character named Anansi, who is a spider. There are lots of stories about Anansi in Africa. While I tell the story, think about what extra meaning this story might have.”
Anansi the spider knew how to cook, but he didn’t like to do it. He didn’t like how long it took for the food to be ready and he definitely didn’t like cleaning up afterwards. So instead of making his own food, Anansi liked to go around to his neighbors and see what they were cooking. One day he went to visit rabbit. He immediately smelled something delicious. “Yum! Yum! Rabbit,” he said, “that sure does smell delicious. May I have some?”
“Sure”, said rabbit, “but it’s not quite finished. Why don’t you help me make dinner and then we’ll eat together?” Well, Anansi definitely didn’t want to do any cooking. “I have a better idea,” he said to Rabbit. “I will spin a web and tie one end to my foot and you can tie the other end to the pot. When the food is done, tug on the web and I’ll come back.” Rabbit thought that was okay, so Anansi made a web and tied one end to his foot and the other end to Rabbit’s pot. Then he went on his way.
When he came to Monkey’s house, he smelled a smell that was even more delicious than the smell at Rabbit’s house.“Yum! Yum!” He said to Monkey, “That smells delightful! May I have some?”
“Of course,” said Monkey, “but it’s not quite finished. Why don’t you help me make dinner and then we’ll eat together?” Now Anansi still did not want to help with cooking. So he told Monkey the same thing he had told Rabbit and Monkey thought that was just fine. So he tied one end of another web to a different foot and the other end of that same web to Monkey’s cooking pot and went on his way.
The same thing happened when Anansi passed by all of his neighbor’s houses, until Anansi had a web tied to each of his eight legs.
“This is a wonderful idea!” thought Anansi, “Tonight I will be able to eat eight delicious dinners and I won’t have to cook or clean up a single one!”
Just then Anansi felt a tug at the web of one leg. “Dinner time!” he shouted. But then a pull came at another leg and another and another and Anansi was being pulled in all directions by the web strings tied to his legs. As he was pulled, his legs got thinner and thinner until until they were so thin they slipped right out of the knots he had tied in the webs.
“Oh my!” he said, “Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea after all!”
“Think about this allegory about Anansi. It is a fun story, but it is also trying to tell us a message. What do you think the message might be?” Accept and validate all of the children’s answers, encouraging them to expand on their ideas.
The Allegory of the Olive Tree
“In the Book of Mormon, Jacob wrote down an allegory that he had read on the brass plates that Nephi took from Laban. It’s called the Allegory of the Olive Tree and it was originally told by a prophet named Zenos. Listen to me tell you the allegory and while I am telling it to you I want you to think about what the deeper meaning might be.”
Israel is like an olive tree that a man planted in his vineyard. The olive tree grew old and started to die, so the man came and took special care of it. He pruned it, and dug around it, and gave it special plant food. The tree grew new branches, but the top was still dying.
The man’s servant came to help him in the vineyard and the man told him about how sad it made him to see his tree dying. He told his servant they should take off the new branches that grew on the tree and plant them in other places so that new trees will grow and save the fruit of the old tree. Then they should take branches off a a wild tree and graft them on to the old tree. So they did those things and then they waited.
After a while, the man and his servant went back to the vineyard to check on things. First they went to the old tree and saw that it was good! The wild branches they had grafted on were growing good fruit! So they went to check on the new trees they had planted from the new branches. The first branch was growing well and had grown a lot of new fruit. They gathered the fruit and the servant said he was surprised because this branch had been planted in very poor ground. The man said he knew it was a poor spot and he had been taking care of the branch for a long time. The second branch they checked on was also doing well, even though the ground was even worse, because the man had been taking special care of it too.
Then they went to check on the third branch they had planted, and even though the man had planted it in the best spot and taken care of it too, only half of the branches on the new tree had good fruit. The man wanted to burn all of the branches that had bad fruit, but the servant asked if they could try taking care of the new tree first. So the man and the servant took care of the tree to see they could get it to grow good fruit.
Stop here and ask the children. “What do you think of this story so far? The man and his servant are working very hard to save the tree, even though at the beginning of the story, the tree is not giving them any fruit? What do you think that means?” Listen to and acknowledge all of the children’s answers. Encourage them to build upon each other’s thoughts and share their genuine feelings. Allow them to put themselves in the perspective of the tree, the servant, or the man as they share. Allow them to compare the story to their own lives or to communities in general and let them take ownership of the meaning of the allegory. “In the story, sometimes the man tells the servant what to do and sometimes the servant gives the man ideas. What do you think that means?” Listen to and acknowledge all of the children’s answers. Encourage them to build upon each other’s thoughts and share their genuine feelings.
After a long time the man and the servant went back to check on the old tree and the new trees that had grown from the branches. They found that the old tree was growing new fruit, but when the man tasted the fruit all of it was bad, even though they had worked so hard to help the tree. Then they went to check on the new trees that had grown from the branches. They found that the first and second new trees were growing wild fruit and the wild fruit that had grown on the third new tree had corrupted it so much that the third new tree had died. And the man was so sad that he cried and he said “What more could I have done for my trees!” And the man told the servant that they should cut all of the bad trees down and throw them into the fire. But the servant asked if they could try a little longer.
Stop here and ask the children, “What do you think this part of the story means? What does it mean that the man and servant worked so hard but the trees were still growing bad fruit and one tree had even died?” Listen to and acknowledge all of the children’s answers. Encourage them to build upon each other’s thoughts and share their genuine feelings. “What do you think it means for the servant to ask the man to wait a little longer?” Continue encouraging the children to share.
So the man and the servant called in more servants to help them, but only a few came, and they all worked very hard to take care of the trees one last time, and good fruit started to grow again, and they threw away any branches that grew bad fruit until all of the fruit was good again. And when the man saw that it was good he called all of the servants together and they were all very happy.
Ask the children “What do you think of the story? Why did only a few more servants come to help? What do you think it means to throw away the branches that are growing good fruit?”
“Jacob tells us that the Allegory of the Olive Tree can help us understand Heavenly Father’s relationship to Israel. In the allegory, Heavenly Father is like a man that takes care of a tree. What is your relationship with Heavenly Father like? Draw or write an allegory that describes what your relationship with Heavenly Father is like.”
Lyndsey Jarman is a kindergarten teacher with a Masters Degree in education and 13 years of teaching experience. You can read more of her advice on teaching primary children here.
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